Well with Arielle Lorre - 263: Solo Q&A: My Story, Overcoming Addiction & Trauma, How I Stay Balanced and Consistent

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Many people have asked for the backstory of my life so in this episode I delve into my past, my addiction, getting sober, and working through trauma. I also discuss how I remain free of addictive behaviors today and maintain physical and emotional balance, why you shouldn’t believe everything you read, what motivates me to be healthy and consistent and more. This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lurie, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits. I know there's so much information out there, so I'm bringing on expert guests and sharing my own experiences to help you sift through all the wellness stuff without the BS. Enjoy the show.

Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I am so happy to be here talking to you guys. I really love doing solos. And I love that you love solos. That makes me really happy and really flattered. So thank you as always for the support. I said last time that I was going to be incorporating at least one solo a month. And the feedback that I got was definitely in support of that. So continue to look out for these. And, And I think because it's my birthday this week, well, by the time this releases, my birthday will have been last week. But I'm just feeling kind of sentimental. I'm feeling a little bit reflective and I don't know, just feeling grateful for my life and my health. So that might come out in this episode. I don't know. We'll see. But I was thinking about this recently and I actually just did a TikTok on this, but something shifted this year where I just got so comfortable in my skin and so comfortable with who I am and where I am in life and a lot of the insecurity that I had around aging and my age just kind of slipped away. Like I remember the last few years, maybe the last five or so years, every birthday I was like, fuck, sorry. I am getting old.

This train is moving. There's no stopping it or slowing it down. I remember talking to Chuck and my mom specifically about. how your 30s are hard because you kind of realize you're actually going to age. Like in your 20s, you're just not as aware of it because you get older, but you're still so young. And anyway, they were both like, yeah, okay, 30s still very young, but I didn't believe them. And now I actually feel it. So the last couple years, especially after 34 and I would say 35, I felt ashamed of my age, which is hilarious to me now, but I was insecure. I didn't really want to say how old I was. And now I'm

like, I am 38. It does sound kind of old, kind of crazy when I say it. But I've never felt better. I've never looked better in my opinion. I have my health, which I really came to appreciate this year, especially after that period when I had the blood parasite, but we didn't know what it was. I legit thought I had lymphoma or something. It was really scary. So I think I gained some perspective from that too. And yeah, I just feel grateful for everything in my life, where I am in life, all of that, despite things being far from perfect as always. So I also think being close to a decade of sobriety has a big part in all of this. This is something that I've also been thinking about lately. I feel like years seven and eight, and I know this is not relatable to a lot of people, but those years were

hard, not in that I wanted to drink or use, but in, I think I had some spiritual growing pains. And I was wrestling with being very willful and running my life on my will versus turning that over daily and relying on something else to guide me. And so that got really exhausting. I kind of ran my life into the ground at some points there. I was kind of acting in ways that weren't aligned necessarily with my spiritual values and my just my values and my principles and life. And now I'm kind of free of that behavior again. And so I feel like I've recalibrated and I'm realigned and I'm getting off into the weeds here. But I did get a lot of questions from new listeners about my sobriety and my story and kind of what my life was like before and how I got

sober and how I started in this career. So maybe I'll start there. I'll definitely try to do a truncated version. And then I will take some specific questions as I go. But since we're already on the subject, I grew up in Rhode Island. I had a totally normal, totally nice upbringing. My dad is a doctor. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and she took care of my older brother and I. I feel like I've told this so many times that it's kind of a rote, but we had golden retrievers. I grew up in this really idyllic oceanfront town. I went to private school, so you get the picture. I had no trauma.

I had no addiction or alcoholism anywhere in my family. I had no adverse childhood events, you know, things that people would typically associate with somebody who went on to become an alcoholic or an addict. But I can recognize now, in retrospect, that from a really young age, I was pretty fixated on external things to regulate how I felt on the inside. So I know I've shared about this before, whether it was in my podcast or in other interviews, because I did have somebody asked me, what drove that desire for nice things when I was younger? It really wasn't even nice things, I don't think. It was just things. I just needed stuff.

I needed something outside of myself, whether that was a specific toy or clothes or like my first car, things like that to regulate how I felt. And I also grew up around a lot of really wealthy people. So I think I was constantly comparing myself to other people, which we all know just manufactures misery. Then I had this boyfriend in high school who was definitely my first drug. we had a crazy volatile relationship that had some really high highs and really low lows. And so all of that together just sort of primed me to turn to substances to cope with my emotions and my feelings and discomfort and comparison and that constant chatter in my head and like the pain from that relationship. And I remember the first time I drank. It was totally a spiritual experience because it turned off all of that in my head.

and suddenly I felt like I was equal to the people I was comparing myself to. I felt comfortable in my skin. I could numb out and forget the pain from that relationship. I felt ease in social situations, all of that. And I was just like, whoa. Like I found my solution to my problems and all of this discomfort that I feel. And I always say I didn't even know how uncomfortable I was until I felt comfortable for like the first time, at least in my, you know, semi-adult life. I think I was maybe 16 at the time. So drinking and

partying just became my priority in life and I will skip over a lot. But I reacted pretty badly to alcohol in that I blacked out a lot despite drinking the same as my friends. I really couldn't control or manage it or predict when or how I would stop once I started. And I found that drugs could help me control and manage that. And I spent 10 years from 18 to 28, really from like 16 to 28, but it picked up around 18, really in the throes of progressive alcoholism and addiction, in and out of rehabs, moving around the country, having periods when I could manage things. Like there were times when I could just have a glass of wine at dinner for a few months. and I would think, huh, I figured it out. And inevitably, like every single time that was followed by,

you know, worsening conditions when I inevitably fell back into my usual patterns. So it was really confusing. It was very confusing because my obsession was to, like, be able to drink like my peers. And there were times when I could actually do that. And then it all kind of fell apart. And there was rhyme or reason because I drank when things were good. I had to increase the good and I drank when things were bad to forget the bad. And I just didn't know what was wrong with me. And I didn't know why I continued to do this despite all of my resolve not to. Like, I did not want to be doing what I was doing and I would wake up adamant that I was not going to drink that day. And then I would end up drunk somehow and it was just so baffling to me and I accumulated a lot of trauma along the way.

And basically where I ended up was living alone in West Hollywood, having seizures. I was in a blackout from December 2013 to February 22nd, 2014, when my family for one last time intervened on me and I went to rehab for six months while I went to three. my first rehab for three months and then I went to another rehab for another three months and then sober living for another six months. And that started me on the path that I am on now. So I really skipped over a lot. But that's kind of the general trajectory of my life. So I do try to share about this in a really general way. I don't like to get into the nitty gritty here. But I do always tell people that if you feel like this is you or you can relate to this, you feel like you're in

a similar cycle. My DMs are open and I'm always there. I can't promise that I get to every DM. I don't want to raise expectations here, but I really do try and I will talk to anybody about how I got sober privately and I do try to get to all of them. So I was definitely an alcoholic the day I started drinking. I think a common misconception is that somebody is an alcoholic or an addict because of how much they use. And I think that can be part of it sometimes, but it really wasn't the seizures or how much I was drinking, how often that made me an alcoholic. It was what alcohol was doing for me. And alcohol was not my problem. Alcohol was my solution. So I really had to get down to what alcohol was solving for me when I got sober in order to get and stay sober. So anyway, got sober in 2014.

I went back to school for a little bit because I wanted to work in recovery initially and I did for a couple years. And a few years into sobriety, I felt like, okay, I dealt with a lot of the mental emotional stuff. Now I want to get fit and healthy and I started an Instagram account under the pseudonym, The Blonde Files, never thinking that it would stick with me. You guys, who have been listening for a long time know that it drives me absolutely crazy. I feel like the name is kind of detrimental to me at some points because people just think that I'm some bimbo blonde. But anyway, I started the Instagram account to track my fitness progress at the time and it just slowly grew into what it is today just by sharing my experience and my life and the ups and downs

along the way. And then I started the podcast April 2019. And that is how I got to to where I am today. So that's for the new people that asked, and I guess just a little refresher. And let's see, I'll do a few quick sobriety related questions. So someone asked if I have flashbacks from pre-sobriety, and if so, how do I deal with them? I don't have flashbacks per se. I do have memories, obviously, and most of them are actually the good memories because I did have some crazy fun times. I have some really juicy stories too. Maybe I will save those for another day. Juicy and incriminating stories. But there is a saying in recovery that basically the trajectory is this. It's fun and then it's fun with problems and then it's just problems. I would say my drinking was

fun with problems and then problems. Like I kind of skipped over the just fun part because I always had consequences. Like I said, I was always blacking out the first night that I drank, I peed my pants. Like, that I don't think normally happens to everybody who knows. But I would wake up in my car, not knowing how I got to wherever I was or wake up in the hospital. Like there were always consequences. So all of that said, I have memories of the good times. I of course remember the terrible times too and, you know, how painful it was. And then there are things that I don't remember. at all, which is probably a good thing. But I really am in a place of neutrality with my past and with drugs and alcohol. I don't judge anybody for drinking or doing drugs. I go out with friends who are

drinking and it doesn't bother me. You know, we have alcohol in our house for guests and it's not like I sit there thinking about it. I have never craved alcohol since the day I got sober, which is such a gift. And it's not something that I wrestle with. It's not like I'm white knuckling, the fact that I don't drink or anything like that. It's more that my sobriety or my emotional sobriety depends on maintaining my mental health and my spiritual health and all of that. But it's not like I have to sit there and think about not drinking, you know, thank God. And I think that's another misconception. And I think for some people, they do have cravings, especially in the beginning. And that's totally normal, but there is a way to be free of that obsession. I'll just put it that way. And I feel that same way about my

past. My past is my past. I don't regret any of it. I'm grateful for all of the experiences. And I am also grateful that I got all that out of my system because I did so much partying. At the end, it was very isolating, but I did do so much part. I'm just thinking if I have any stories, not today. And I do kind of feel like I never have to wonder if I missed out on anything, put it that way. So when I was newly sober, you know, it had gotten so bad that I was so desperate and I was so willing to take suggestions and do what I had to do to get sober and stay sober. I had to fully rebuild my life because a lot of you guys know I had nothing when I got sober at the age of 28. So if you're 28 and you're worried about where you are in life,

I had negative money. I had overdrawn accounts. I had debt. My credit score was like a 300. I don't even know if that's possible, but literally the lowest it could be. I had a few cars repowed. I just didn't really, you know, take seriously the fact that you have to make car payments on a car when you buy it. I had no job. I had no skills, no education because I dropped out of Syracuse. I had no friends, no apartment, no valid license, like nothing. And from that desperation, I think I was able to recognize that I was responsible for all of that. Like, I got myself there. I believe alcoholism and addiction are diseases, but I can be free of that if I'm willing to do certain things, or I can continue to live that way, you know, to live my way. I have that choice

and my way wasn't working. So anyway, back to the flashbacks, I just don't really think about it much because I'm so far removed from that life. And when I do have memories come up, I don't really have emotions associated with them anymore. Do I want to talk about this? Yeah. Many of you know the story about trigger warning, how I found my friend murdered. And I think that is a totally different thing. Like, that is a big T trauma that I had to do a lot. lot of work on in therapy. And I do get flashbacks sometimes at that. Like if I open a door to a room or something, sometimes I see what I saw that day. And I think I'll always have that. But that's kind of a separate issue. And somebody did ask how I dealt with that. So I guess since I already brought it up, again, trigger warning, maybe a little late. But the answer is, I mean, how did I deal with that? Initially, I didn't. It happened three years before I got sober. and I just drank and I used more because I had no way to cope with that. And I mean, you see that with like war veterans and first responders and stuff who have PTSD

and a lot of them end up with addiction and mental health issues. And it's a real problem because we don't necessarily have the support in place for them. And I did go to a therapist, a trauma therapist, and I will never forget sitting there and her face just fell when I told her the story. And I remember in that moment, I was like, well, she can't deal with it even. So she's not going to be able to help me. So I am on my own here. And I just drank and used more to numb a lot of that out. But a lot of you probably also know the story about how things kind of came around full circle. So when I was about 45 days sober, I remember because I was halfway through my first three month rehab, I was subpoenaed and I had to go testify in Florida. And I was in rehab in Utah at the time. And it was such a crazy godshot or universe alignment, whatever you want to call it, because I had been subpoenaed many times over the three years between the actual event and me getting sober. And it finally went to trial when I was

sober and I was able to get on a plane and show up and testify. And there is no way I would have been able to do that prior to getting sober. So that was a gift in a way, not because it was all about me, but I felt like I was able to show up for my friend and show up for her family and help put the guy away who did it. And I mean, that was a lot to deal with at 45 days sober because I had to go through crime scene pictures and medical examiner pictures. And, you know, they make you look at the medical examiner picture to identify the person. And I had to sit six feet away from the guy in the courtroom. So it was awful. But it was also the beginning of my healing from that. And And shockingly, it was the first time that I really realized how many other people were affected by that

because when I was in my addiction, I was only able to see how things affected me, you know, just pure selfishness and self-centeredness. And, you know, I went through that experience. And at that time, I felt like, okay, well, that's my closure. No, it came up again. I did a lot of therapy. It still does come up sometimes. And I think it'll be something that comes up periodically. throughout my life maybe, but it doesn't really impact me anymore. You know, I'm able to talk about it. And yeah, okay, clearly I'm not able to answer any questions with gravity today. So I'm going to switch gears here. I feel like this is getting very heavy. I was like really excited about my birthday episode and now I'm talking about murder. Okay. How do I prevent caring what other people think of me? Okay. So I get

asked this all the time. And since I was on the topic of my sobriety, I remembered this time when I was in my first inpatient rehab. So I was 20. And I was talking to this guy. And I remember where we were sitting and everything about that moment. I don't know why. And he asked if I cared what other people thought of me. And I was like, no, like, duh, no, of course not. And I very much did care what people thought of me and I think it's normal at that age to care what people think of you or at any age really, but I was so defiant in my answer because I was trying to be convincing and I'm sure he saw through my response. But I just remember being so ashamed of it for some reason. Like I didn't want anyone to know that I cared so much about what other people thought of me. And a lot of my drinking and using

was to put up and to maintain this facade of who I thought other people thought I should be or like what I thought other people were thinking of me, which is insanity. Like we don't know what other people are thinking. It's really none of our business anyway. And if anybody is thinking about us, it's usually for, I don't know, 30 seconds and then they go back to thinking about themselves. Yet so many of us live our lives according to what we think other people think of us or what we think other people will think of us. So like in a time that doesn't even exist yet, you know, it's crazy. And I think it is just human nature. So if you care what people think about you, don't feel a shame because I think it's totally normal. But I just remember thinking

that I had to be this fun, bubbly, carefree, outgoing cool girl when on the inside I was more introverted and observant. And at that time, I was a little more shy, I think, and reserved in my life. And I've always had a very reserved cool. And I don't mean like I'm a cool person. I think I just mean like I'm not very emotive. I'm not sure if that's the word I'm looking for. But I just, I wanted to be like that loud, bubbly person and I wanted to fit in. So I had to have substances for that. So anyway, all of that is to when I got sober and for many years after that, I think I did care to a degree what other people thought of me, but I didn't let it stop me from living my life how I wanted to live it. And I think having a second chance at life because, you know, I almost died at the end of my addiction and around

that time that I was intervened on. Actually, I had so many chances of life. Like when I look back on it, there were so many situations where I should have died. But having this new opportunity kind of gave me an attitude and a perspective that I'm going to live my life for me and not for anyone else. I'm going to go big and just tune out the noise. And my recovery practices definitely helped me to be less self-centered, which I think thinking about what you think other people think of you is kind of self-centered fear. So I have practices today to deal with all of that. And then the last piece of this for me, well, I think there are a few things. Age. The older you get, the less you care, this is true and also being a public-facing person. Like you realize that other people's judgments of you

are usually just projections of their own unhappiness or insecurity. And it used to bother me if I got negative comments or messages. Now for the most part, I think it's kind of fascinating. I literally get them all day, every day, hundreds. And especially because I talk about beauty things. I think people think that that is permission for them to tell me what they think of my appearance and the choices that I've made along the way all day, every day. And I'm like, wow, this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with, you know, whatever this person, these people are lacking or whatever they're dealing with in their own life that makes them use their time this way. So I think all of those things, sobriety age, my career definitely helped me develop.

skin and just see things differently. Like I just, I really, for the most part, let that stuff roll off of me. And I think I just know how wrapped up in people's own lives they are and how like their judgments really have nothing to do with me. And, you know, it's your life. Like, it is your life. This is your life. Your one life. Or maybe you believe there's other lives. But this is it. So, you know, I've said this before in other episodes. I'm probably going to sound like a total millennial, but like yolo. You know, you've got to live for yourself. Since I'm kind of on a few of these topics, what other people think about me and addiction and sobriety, I will answer this. So I get this question constantly. Do I ever worry that I transferred drug and alcohol addiction to beauty procedure addiction. Yeah, so I'm pretty tired of this question. I've answered it on other podcasts, so I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I will answer it here on my podcast, this one last time. The short answer is, no, I don't worry about that. I'm familiar with process addictions and addictive behaviors because I struggled with those in sobriety. Like, I really struggled with binge eating. I struggled with exercise addiction. Like there have been things that have popped up. And I actually, well, Yeah, I do think there was a time years ago before I had any surgery done when I was getting a lot of filler, way too much filler and Botox. And it was kind of compulsive. But then I stopped doing that. And yeah, I had a few surgical procedures over the years. But I kind of view that as doing something higher maintenance to be low maintenance. And I truly, like I truly don't really think about it otherwise. So I kind of think of it. like getting your hair cut or colored. So I'm sure some people listening are like way different,

but just go with me here because I thought of this the other day. Okay. So if you think about your hair, the time between when you get it cut or colored, like do you think about it? Maybe there's a point where you're like, huh, my hair is looking kind of dingy, so I'm going to make an appointment. But you're not sitting there, hopefully, ruminating over it day and night. And you probably don't think that getting your hair done is going to like fix something inside of you. It's not compulsive. It's not impulsive. It's not harming you or others. It's not causing any consequences. Like there are all these things that I associate with addiction. So I live in L.A. I have a lot of friends in the industry. There's definitely a blazay attitude here. I will definitely admit that about beauty

procedures where it kind of is comparable to other things that a lot of us do for maintenance, like getting your hair done. And yes, I like, I like, I like to maintain, but I really think that people assume it's a much bigger part of my life than it actually is, mainly because I make a bunch of videos or I talk about the things that I've done in succession where it seems like I do so much all the time. But it's really kind of spaced out. And, you know, there's so much life that fills the time in between. And then kind of back to the recovery practices thing. And I'm probably being a bit vague. here, but I have systems in place where I look daily. So daily I'm looking at my behaviors. I'm looking

at my motives. I'm looking at where am I being selfish and self-centered and afraid and dishonest? And am I thinking about myself more than I'm thinking about others and what am I focusing on? What am I obsessing over? Like what is coming up for me? So I'm taking constant inventory and I have people in my life who I run all of this by and they will call me out on my shit if I am focusing too much on myself or any one thing. So I think it's an easy narrative for people to have about me and I hear it daily people telling me that I switched addictions. And it's just like, no. Like you have no idea. And I'm not saying this to the person who wrote the question because I think they were genuinely looking for my thoughts on this. But I think the people who comment and say it in a

snarky way, like they just have no idea the work that is done daily on myself, on my recovery. like what my life actually looks like because what I share and probably what most creators share on social media is a small percentage of their life. I'm probably around like 5%, which is pretty low because I don't really share my private life and all of that. And my beauty content does really well. And at the end of the day, this is a business. And I do look at what does well. And, you know, for whatever reason, And like people are really interested in the beauty procedure stuff and skin care routines and all of that. So I do share that probably disproportionately to how much I actually do it and think about it in my own life. So I hope that I don't sound like I am on a soapbox or defensive. And I know that I just talked about how I don't care what people think about me. But I think I do care about that one because for me, addiction is life or death. I have to be. on top of my actions, my thoughts, my behaviors, not in a way that requires a ton of work. I don't want people to think that it's a constant grind to stay sober. But there are certain things

that I do to maintain that balance and spiritual fitness. And if I'm going down a road of using outside things to regulate my feelings back to what I was talking about in the beginning and addictive behaviors and too much focus on myself, I'm on a slippery slope. And so I do take that very seriously. So anyway, I know I don't need to explain myself with most of you, but it has been coming up a lot lately. So figured I would address it here. And I mean, if we're on this topic, I think a lot of people who are leaving these comments and, you know, making these judgments and being terrible to other people online and participating in gossip threads and all of that, those people should probably look at their own behavior too because I think that is also an addiction. And I think so many people are getting external validation from behaving in this kind of way online. And that is definitely a whole other subject. But just thought I would put that out there. Actually, this is kind of juicy. So I did a podcast with SIF from Array recently and she had people send in questions. And she

said people asked how I got over cheating in my relationship and got back together with Chuck. And I was like, what? So I don't know if you guys have heard that. Like, I don't know if this is a thing that people think. I can only assume it originated where all things like this originate, which is Reddit. And the only time I've ever even looked at it is when somebody sent me a thread last year that said that I got my boobs done so Chuck would take me back. And I was like, wow. I mean, people's theories are so crazy. It's literally fantasy land. So if you read that stuff, whether it's about myself or others, I can pretty confidently say 99.999% of that is untrue. Okay. Now I'm really moving on. I feel like this is kind of a downer episode. So shifting gears,

what motivates me to be healthy and consistent? I would say my motivation changes. So, in general, I really like feeling good. I'm not one of those people who's trying to biohack my body and see like how perfect I can get things. And I don't really necessarily want to feel like I'm at a 12 out of 10 all the time. Like I'm happy to be a solid eight. And usually eating well most of the time, doing some kind of movement most of the time and like doing something for my mind, some meditation most of the time. Usually that keeps me at like a pretty balanced eight. Solidate. That's what we're aiming for. And again, like everything in this episode, a lot of my lifestyle comes back to sobriety and just like knowing how it feels to feel like shit all the time

and to not be able to live the life that I want to live because I don't feel well and being caught up in addictive behaviors and cycles. And I just don't want to live my life like that anymore. So I want to take care of myself and my health. And then I also, I mentioned this in the beginning, but I was really freaked out by that parasite that I had, not by the parasite itself, but everything leading up to that diagnosis because it was terrifying. I had, you know, global swollen lymph nodes, so all over my body and no real explanation. I had fatigue. I had several people in the medical field concerned about something really serious because of that and because of the amount of time that I had these symptoms and I had an appointment with an oncologist. Like it was concerning and that shook me to my core.

And it really made me appreciate my health, which honestly I think I've kind of taken for granted. I think I just always assumed that I'm healthy and will continue to be healthy. And you just never know. Like, God, now I'm being a downer again, but I see women my age with like breast cancer and ovarian cancer and chronic illnesses. And I think you know that it's part of aging, but you just don't think about it when you're in your 20s. Like you kind of have the delusion of immortality and then that begins to dissipate in your 30s. At least this has been my experience. Even though 30s is young, but you know, you just become more aware of how fragile life is. And then sometimes my motivation is just pure vanity. There are days when I do take it all for granted and I just want to like maintain my skin elasticity and get that healthy workout glow.

So I would say majority of the time it's for health, longevity, quality of life. And then sometimes I just want to look good. Best piece of advice from one of my. guests. That is probably the hardest question to answer for me, but I feel like there have been so many pearls of wisdom from every episode and I learned so much from every episode. And they're all different and they all apply to different situations. But there is something I have been thinking about lately. And it's something that actually Chuck said on my podcast years ago, which is about having to input stuff. He was talking about it in the context of, you know, working in the creative field and

outputting creative stuff and how you have to input other stuff to be inspired to have a creative output. But I kind of think about it in the context of also just how to have balance. I think so many of us input like social media and other people's lives as the majority of our inputs as I sit here and you guys listen to me, talk about my life. But, you know, we sit there and scroll mindlessly and then we feel miserable and less than and burnt out. And I'm saying this because I do this too. It's just our world today. But I'm really trying to be mindful of my inputs. So on my last episode, I think I talked a lot about focusing energy outwards, being more interested in other people, like in real life, not on social media, and what I can do and what I

can put out into the world versus what I'm getting and like the me, me, me, my, mys. But I'm really trying to be cognizant of taking breaks and not filling the gaps in my life, like the standing in line, eating, walking down the street gaps, looking at social media, and mindlessly scrolling. It just produces like mostly bad outputs in my experience. And I look at my best friend. She doesn't even have social media. She doesn't know all the minutia that goes on in the world, like all the bullshit and what's trending. And I'm just like envious of that, to be honest. I mean, can you even imagine? I can't imagine. Okay. Now I'm going to totally switch gears. this episode turned out to be a little more serious than I wanted it to be. I'll have to do a fun,

light Q&A next time, but I'll do a couple right now. I feel like we need a palette cleanser. So let's see. How many hours of sleep do I get? Usually I get between seven and a half and nine, I would say. Anything more than nine is too much and anything less than seven is doable, but not great. Unless I'm doing something really fun, then it's worth sacrificing sleep because I think you know, we're starting to forget how important, like, experiences are because we're so focused on wellness. Like, for example, when I was in New York, I went out with my friends. I left my apartment. I just have to tell this story really quickly. So I left my apartment at 10.30. I drank matcha, left at 1030, went to meet my friends at a bar. They were drinking. One of them was not

drinking. And I was like, so what do you order if you're not drinking? And he said, Diet Coke. And I was like, great. I'll get a Diet Coke. I may as well have free-based math. I don't know if I should even say that on this episode. Just kidding. But I had so much energy. It was absolutely insane. We went from the bar to this club and we didn't like the music. We were there for like half an hour. Then we went to the public rooftop, which was a bar. And then we didn't like that. And then we went to another bar. and then we like stayed there for a couple hours and danced and it was so fun. I had so much energy. I was like, I got to like shut this down. I got to go home because if I don't, I'm going to be out till 4 in the morning. And then I am going to get home. And by the time I do my skincare and shower and all of that, it's going to be 5 in the morning. And I will be absolutely miserable. Well, I got home, did all of that, got in bed around like 3 maybe, still flogers. buying from the Diet Coke. How I used to do drugs, totally beyond me. I don't know. I was Googling the half-life of caffeine and Diet Coke at three in the morning. And finally, I fell asleep.

I don't know, of course, my body wakes me up at like, I don't know. I think I woke up around eight maybe. So probably around four, four and a half hours of sleep and I was able to function the next day. But it was so worth it because it was so fun. So, you know, I think you got to do that sometimes. Back to the Yolo. Okay, do I sleep in my robe? So many robe questions lately. No, I do not sleep in my robe. I sleep naked. If you sleep in clothes, we can't be friends. Like I just don't understand how that feels good. Can't relate. How to be patient when waiting for hard work to pay off. I mean, you can be uncomfortable and you can be impatient and you can resist whatever the present reality is, or you can accept it. The choice is yours. How do I choose doctors for cosmetic services?

Okay, I have a great episode this week. I think it's coming out on Wednesday with Dr. Ben Talley. And we talk about this. I know I've had quite a few beauty episodes recently, but even if you don't want anything done and you don't care about cosmetic surgery or anything like that, it's still a fascinating episode because, it's more about the psychology of both patients and providers, like why people want the things they want and do the things they do and why providers do the things they do. Like, I promise it's really interesting. And Ben does talk about how only like 5% of surgeons are actually good and how to go about finding one if you do want something done. That's like a little part of the episode. And we talk a little about celebrity surgery during the strike right now. Like he's doing a lot of facelifts, put it that way. But it's a really, really interesting episode. It's very different from

any other beauty episodes I've done, definitely different from any other episode I've done with a surgeon. So definitely tune into that. I can tell I'm like hitting my wall right now because I'm starting to get spacey. But original question, okay, my answer is I got lucky. I went to people who were very good and I got lucky that way. But I would say tune into that episode. Let's see. Top three supplements, workouts, products, hacks for anti-aging and hotness. Oh my God. Just three. I mean, I can't pick three, but I would say the fundamentals are hydration. Like the difference between my skin, the plumpness and all of that when I'm hydrated compared to dehydrated is bananas. Sun protection, SPF. I'm not in the camp where like you have to look like a beekeeper or wear a hazmat suit every day. but SPF every day and don't fry yourself. And I would say some kind of workout a few times a week where you are sculpting and sweating and keeping that lymph flowing.

That is very important. So what did I say? Hydration, sun protection, workout. Obviously, like good nutrition supplements. I don't know. I think everyone is different, but I do electrolytes. I think electrolytes make a difference in my skin. I also like some of these ingestible beauty things.

like the ritual hyacera is really good. I think peak has a good one. If gut issues are your thing, I think getting your gut under control and having like a good probiotic or something can make a big difference because gut issues can cause acne and other things like that. My friend Daniela, she's a nurse practitioner. She has an aesthetic practice. She swears by vitamin C. I think it helps collagen and elasticity. Like when you take it, I would say do a liposomal one, glutathione, master antioxidant. But now I digress. Like there are so many things. But I think if you get the fundamentals down, oh, sleep, huge. Maybe that's number one because I feel like so many good things for anti-aging happen when we're sleeping. Sleep, hydration, nutrition, movement, SPF. Like these are all the

boring things. They're not sexy. Like, you know, fractal. I don't think fractal is sexy, but they're not, hacks. I think, oh my God, I'm totally going to butcher this, but I think it was Simon Hill who was talking about something else. I think he was talking about nutrition. And he had this analogy that we step over dollars to pick up pennies. Maybe step over pennies to, no, step over dollars to pick up pennies, meaning like we ignore and we dismiss the things that really have so much value to kind of like collect these other things to do that don't have as much value. That's how I read it. I think it's a financial phrase actually that he applied to nutrition. But I really liked it. And I think that people do that with beauty too. They're like, oh, what is the latest anti-aging hack? What procedure can I do when it's like,

really, you know, you got to keep the canvas good. And you got to keep the machine good. And I think when you can get those fundamentals down, like I said. Then all of the other things that you do are kind of the cherry on top. So I'm clearly hitting a wall here. I feel like my brain's not working anymore. I'm going to stop here and I promise my next episode will be lighter. Unless you like this kind of thing. I don't know. You guys can let me know in comments. I was going to say let me know in the reviews, but don't let me know in the reviews if you don't like it. Just leave me glowing reviews. I'm delirious. I think this episode took a lot out of me. But since it's my birthday, if you have not left a review, if you haven't rated, subscribed, all of that, that is what I want for my

birthday. I still see the ratio of all of that compared to how many people listen. It's such a fraction of my audience. So if you haven't done that, I would really appreciate that. But I do love seeing you share it on social. So that obviously helps and I love the support. And anyway, I am done. So I will talk to you next time. Love you. Bye. I hope you enjoyed that episode. And if you liked it and if you liked the show in general, please take a second to rate review and subscribe. It goes a long way. And it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde files podcast on Instagram. You can go to areaallory.com. And I'm always posting about each episode

over on my personal page at Ariel Lori. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.