Well with Arielle Lorre - 280: How to Make Wellness Work for You, Be More Flexible and Manifest What You Want with Siff Haider

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

Siff Haider is the host of The Dream Bigger Podcast and co-founder of the cult-favorite, natural supplement brand Arrae. She joins the show to discuss how she let go of her rigid approach to wellness and became more flexible and carefree. We chat about how we overcame unhealthy “wellness” habits, why experiences are so important for a rich life, journaling and manifesting specifics, entrepreneurship, how delegating can change your business, why flexibility is key and so much more. This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.AG1 is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your purchase. Head to drinkAG1.com/blondefiles to redeem. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/blonde or use the code BLONDE at checkout for 35% off your first order of Sundays.Go to Blissy.com/BLONDEFILES and use the code BLONDEFILES for 30% off.Shop Curl Secret by ConAir at major retailers everywhere. LMNT is offering my listeners a free sample pack with any order, That’s 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BLONDEFILES. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Sonderger Go to your Reisadviseur Orsoniccars. The following podcast is A Dear Media Production Welcome to the Blond Files I'm your host, Ariel Lori, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal

health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits. I know there's so much information out there, so I'm bringing on expert guests and sharing my own experiences to help you sift through all the wellness stuff without the BS. Enjoy the show. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I have a really fun episode for you today. I'm talking to Siff Hider. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with her. She is the host of the Dream Bigger podcast also here on Dear Media and the founder of Array, which is a line of 100% natural supplements with real results and zero woo, as they say. I love that tagline. I'm sure you guys know them and love them. I have personally been using their bloat and their calm for years. I don't travel

without them. And Sif and I have gotten to know each other a bit over the years. And I just adore her. And this is a really honest, just authentic conversation between two friends who are into some of the same thing. So in today's episode, we are talking about work. We're talking about wellness and finding balance with it all. She and I have had really similar experiences with wellness where we kind of went from being really rigid and obsessive to maybe being more relax and then finally landing somewhere in between, like really becoming flexible with wellness, which some people might not relate to. Like it might not be groundbreaking for some listeners to hear about us, you know, eating pizza or staying out till two or drinking, not me, but her.

And things like that. But if you've ever been the person who went home at nine o'clock instead of going out with friends because you physically could not miss your 6 a.m. spin or you wouldn't go to a restaurant without studying the menu first or bringing your own food to the restaurant so you could fit your macros. That's something I used to do. Things like that. Then I think you will really appreciate where we are coming from in this conversation. So we talk about all of that and more. If you don't relate to that, don't worry. There's more than just that. We talk about just really how to enjoy life and make wellness work for you and how to be more carefree and live your dream life. We talk about manifestation specifics and journaling, which I thought

was really interesting. I don't know if you guys are like this, but I am a massive storyteller in my head. I will make up false narratives about so many things going on in my life and journaling. I'm not super consistent, but journaling occasionally has really helped to reflect that back to me and show me that like my narratives and my storytelling is always wrong. So we talk about that and how that works for SIF. We talk how to not obsess over your lifestyle, bloating, and so much more. So please enjoy SIF Hider. Welcome. Thank you. Right after doing mine. I'm like shooting the shit for like an hour and a half. Yeah, we've been talking for the last hour and a half, everybody. But I'm really excited to have you back on. I think last time you came on, you were with Nesh, right? Years ago, it felt like. Yeah, like literally, I think it was like 20, 21 or something. Yeah. So it was definitely like a Zoom situation. I was in New York. I'm not sure where you guys were. But I don't even remember. I think we just got into L.A. for the first time or something. It was like an eternity ago. And I think it was before your podcast, too. Yeah. Before I signed with Dear Media for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So a lot has happened. A lot has happened. And I want to get into everything.

with you, but I wanted to ask you, I feel like you're thriving. Your business is thriving. You know, you're very open on social media about the ups and downs and everything that you go through. But it seems like you're in a really good place in your life. Your routines are locked in. Like, I always watch your stories and I'm like, God, I got to get on the SIF's routine because you're so consistent. And it just seems like you really like have your priorities aligned. But is there anything right now that you are struggling with. Hmm. I think right now I do have my routines dialed in, but it wasn't like this just a few months back.

So after we got our visa and like I've been pretty vocal about this, it took us forever to get our visa to live in the U.S. And when we got it, there was like a move that happened. And when that happened, I feel like I was completely like displaced and lost my routine for a minute. it. And then I like switch gyms. And like I was like, I just got to get the shit together because it's been two months and I feel like the worst version of myself because I don't have anything dialed in. So now I feel like I'm in a good groove again. But I feel like what I'm struggling with is like just regular things. You know, like at the end of the day, we operate a business and it goes through

ups and downs. And so literally right now I came out of a meeting right before this where I was like, okay, why was there a dip in revenue in June and July? Is it seasonality? It is. But things like that and just like navigating, I guess like the unknowns that inherently happen and things that you can't predict. This is like nothing that's shocking or disappointing or anything like that because this is just the inherent nature of business. But I think for me just like consistently working on my mindset and being really stoic when things maybe don't go according to plan and just realizing that this is part and parcel of what we signed up for. I can't even imagine running a business like that on top of also being a content creator, also being a podcast host. Like I feel like I am drowning 95% of the time

with the things that I have on my plate. And I can't imagine also having the added responsibility of having a brand and not just like as a little brand. Like you guys are, massively successful. So how do you balance everything? Well, I thankfully have a very talented and smart co-founder slash therapist. What's the division of responsibility there between you and Nish? Like, does he take on more of array because of your other? No. So we, I would say like in terms of all things array, we're like pretty even in terms of like our responsibilities. He's definitely more on the analytical anything like stats slash numbers side. He's a really, really talented. I would call it like almost like a project manager in the sense that his brain works in like a way

that I can't even compute. Like it's insane. And I handle like the creative brand vision, all of that when it comes to the brand. So, you know, there's periods of time where he's really heavily in the trenches and others where I'm really heavily in the trenches. Like, I would say, I don't know, before like a big event or like a launch initiative, that's very much me. Whereas like anytime we're launching anything where there's a digital component that has to be tested or like, I don't know. Like right now we're launching a loyalty program. And I cannot believe the amount of dev work that has to go through that and how much A-B testing that has to be done. So that's like all niche.

What's dev? Okay. Development. Development. Yeah, exactly. Sorry. I'm like, okay. I'm going to guess what these are.

Yeah, it's like site development and like A, B testing literally like every little thing to make sure, okay, does languaging work here or the way that a web page is even set up like things that area? Like, I don't even know. I'm like, how'd you even figure out how to do that experiment? Like, this is insane. So I feel like the division of labor is like kind of 50-50. And like at times, of course, it skews more to one person over the other. But we also have a really good team, you know? It's not just the two of us.

have right now on our team, inclusive of the two of us, 14 people. And everyone is a hustler. And I would say like an entrepreneur, whereas they really take responsibility for their side of the business. And I can pretty confidently say that like if Nish and I were just to like go offline for 24 hours for some emergency or the other, our team would like crush it. Like it wouldn't even be like we were missing. So I think I have a really good support system, you know, even have. Have a really good support system, you know, even have Having an EA, like our executive assistant who is just a superstar, all of that helps me so much and like allows me to stay organized and kind of handle all of the little things. Like, you know, when I come in for my podcast, it's literally like I just come in and I'm prepared with the questions and the conversation I want to have. Like I don't have to do the scheduling.

Like I don't do the edits. So I'm just lucky with the team I've built around me. You and I had this conversation on the way back from. Austin. Do you have an EA now? No. What the? I know. Can I send you some candidates? Yes. And if my managers are listening and Allie is probably like, please God, every single person that I work with, probably at Dear Media and my management agency are like, please God, get this woman a fucking assistant because I do all of that myself. Now I do have a lot of contractors. So like I'm not doing any of my web stuff. I'm not doing any of like my email stuff. I'm not doing obviously graphics, like things like

that, you know, like to know certain things. Like, I delegate a lot. Yeah. But I still have a lot of that kind of minutia from scheduling to responding to emails and managing my calendar. Do you need me to send you, like for real, for real an assistant? SIF looks concerned. No, I'm so, okay. The reason I say this is because we went so long without an assistant because we were both like, oh, like we don't, like even though we were both drowning, we were like very resistant. And all of our friends were like, what the fuck are you doing without an assistant? Like, why are you out here scheduling and like doing like literally like working in the day to day of your business, like the little things that you don't even have to do?

And so initially I did interviews for an assistant role. And let me tell you the people that I got were just like scary a little bit because I put it out on LinkedIn. I don't advise. Don't do that. Okay. Well, I know I'm going to get a lot of DMs after that episode. But eventually when we did land on our assistant. it like changed everything.

Yeah, I remember you saying that. Oh my God. I've had them in the past. Yeah. And I know so many people listening are probably like, this is so unrelatable. But it was very hard for me to delegate. And they were just the wrong fit too. So that's like I think why I've paused on like getting back into that again.

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the gift of a good night's sleep with blissy i heard you telling the story because i can't remember if we got into it on the episode that we did but the story of how array came to be and what sets you guys apart and i thought it was so interesting because you guys really saw a gap in the market i think and that so many of the supplements out there and this is something you said are things that work over time. Yeah. But yours work instantly. And they're not made to have like a dependency on them.

They're, you know, as needed so that you can live your life. And that's why I love them so much. You know, I don't travel without bloat for years. It's amazing, calm. But what was your intention when you set out to start array? Well, here's the thing. I'm one of those people that uses a lot of supplements, right? And I recognize that I have to take certain things over time in order for them to work or like certain things that's like you realize that they were important when you stop taking them because you notice a difference in your life.

However, with issues that we deal with on a day to day basis, my whole thing was that there is an over dependency on pharmaceuticals and a lot of these annoying issues which take up a lot of mental real estate can in fact be solved. fairly quickly with something that's natural and actually really good for you. My thought process was that I personally want to show up every day as the best version of myself. And if I could pour that energy that, you know, I would otherwise use to think about the fact that I'm bloated or anxious or I didn't get enough sleep or whatever that issue is and put it into something productive, like being of service to people or doing something. I'm really passionate about, I just get to make a real difference in the world. And I truly believe that that's the case for everyone. And so that was really the idea behind Array that like we wanted to

bring people solutions, which would actually relieve them from these everyday issues that are really fucking annoying. And they just take up a lot of room in our brains. Yeah. And that was something that you said in this interview I was listening to getting ready for this, but something like bloating. You know, I feel like it's become a little bit of an epidemic and that people are experiencing it so much. But I also think that we have become hyperfocused on it and hyper focused on obsessing over our lifestyles and diets and everything so that we don't get bloated. I don't know I'm articulating this right. So how do you kind of balance, like wanting to have a solution for that, but also not obsessing over it? Well, I think the fact that I have a solution for it allows me to kind of live my life a little bit more freely.

Like I remember back in the day when I was very sensitive to gluten once upon a time and I've healed my gut to a point where I can tolerate it, like not loads of it, but I can have it. and like, you know, it's not the end of the world. But I remember back in the day where I would go out for date night with Nish. And if we'd go out for Italian food, I'd have to come back home right away because my stomach would hurt so much, you know? And if I was out on a trip and I ate something that wasn't according to my regular schedule, like it would be just such a painful experience and just like unpleasant or I'd have to worry about, okay, like, am I going to wear this because I may have to unbutton it and it just may be

like a very uncomfortable experience. And so the fact that I was able to create something that I could have in my back pocket in those periods of time, I think allowed me to be a lot more laid back, whereby I know even right now, like if something sets me off, it's fine. Like, I have a solution for it and it'll work really quickly. Like, I get bloated when I'm flying. Like, it just always happens, you know, like I put a morsel of food into my mouth. Like, I don't know if something happens when we're up there. I digestion really slows down. And even before I get on the plane, like, I'll just have like three bloats and it doesn't

matter what I eat. And I don't have to worry about necessarily fasting for a 24 hour period if I'm taking like a long flight, for example, which is stuff I'd have to think about. And so for me, I think that it's given me such freedom to know that I don't have to be in my routine day to day. I don't have to be so dogmatic about doing things a certain way. I can just live my life like a normal human. human being. And, you know, if I do get bloated or I have digestive discomfort, I have something in my

toolbox to help. I'm laughing because I remember a blog post that I wrote, probably around like 2017, 2018 about fasting when flying, about having to fast when you fly so that you don't get bloated. Oh, no, I understand. Believe me. That was like the peak of that time, I feel like. I'm curious if your kind of more moderate approach is a result of array and having the right tools and the right products or if it's also your mindset. Like did you go through kind of an obsession with wellness? I feel like a lot of us that are in this space especially like have gone through all the phases. I know for me like I started out super rigid and then I got super lax and now I'm somewhere in the middle. But what was your journey for lack of a better word with your health?

and your wellness like. So I went through exactly the same journey as you and I'm sure so many other people can relate to this fact whereby when I was in college, I left high school and I just did not know how to nourish myself. I didn't know how to move. Like there was just not the education that there is back then that, you know, we have right now where it's like, okay, there's like all these things you can do at the gym or not at the gym, you know, back then it was like run or nothing and I hated running. And, you know, I,

like, I just didn't know how to eat. And so I remember graduating and I felt like I was just at the lowest point of my health. Like I didn't feel like myself. I was so uncomfortable. I was always sick. And so that's kind of like there were many things that kind of spurred this like one by one interest in wellness and ultimately like of course like I ended up fracturing on my rib that was later on but it was like a slow interest in wellness and the obsessive kind of like need for perfection happened much later I would say around my mid midish 20s whereby I really got into working out and eating well and it was almost an addiction to feeling good and I think at that point because I felt so good.

I just never wanted to disrupt that. And it started to get in the way of my relationships with my friends. Like I'd be that person who'd like, I just like would dip early every time I was out at like 8 so I could wake up at 6 a.m. for my Soul Cycle class or whatever it was. And I remember it getting to a point even in my relationship with Mish where like even if he'd want to go out for one drink after dinner on a Friday night, I'd be like, nope, I'm going home. And I just became really, really rigid. And now, obviously, looking back on it, I realized that I think wellness, you're not really well,

quote unquote, if you don't have balance in your life. Like, yes, we need to put foods into our bodies that nourish us because, you know, it's just like, that's just how our bodies kind of function. But at the same time, you have to nourish your soul, you know. that is through experiences. That is through, I guess, being carefree sometimes and being in the moment without really like thinking, oh, like, if I put that into my body, it's going to do this. No, like there needs to be a synergy and a balance.

And so obviously over time, like I've learned that balance. And, you know, I'm in a really good place I have been for years. But I think that it's just a journey that a lot of people inherently go through. and now I think like having found that balance, I see that, okay, like, you know, I'm a really healthy person and I love, you know, nourishing my body and I love the movement piece. But at the same time, like, am I going to stay out late at night in Italy if we're deciding to do that? And I feel up to it. Yeah, fuck yeah, I'm going to do it, you know? And I think that it's just, it makes me a more like well-rounded person, you know? Yes. There's so much there. You said

I loved. One thing I was thinking of was something Liz Moody sat on my podcast, which is like, if wellness is making you miserable, it's not wellness. So I think people that white knuckle wellness, that's not wellness. Totally. To your point about the journey, like I feel like everybody has to go through it for themselves though, because at least for me, you couldn't sit here and tell me about your experience. If I was in that space, like, I have to go through that and feel the discomfort of noticing that it's affecting my relationships and social situations. And I just feel like I have to be desperate enough and uncomfortable enough to be willing to make a change.

And that was kind of part of my journey as well. Like wellness made me miserable enough that then I was willing to change my approach to it. And I love what you said about being carefree. I feel like that is such a big part of it. And having other aspects to wellness besides food and exercise. like it's not just food and exercise and it's not just food and exercise and journaling and meditation

and I know that you're a big journaling person and I want to ask you about that but that flexibility I think I think flexibility like you know to your point about being carefree is such an important part of life and like staying out and eating pizza and I remember being that person

who would like obsessively look at menus before going out to eat because I was like okay well I can't go here because they don't have anything for me. And I didn't have any allergies. Like if you have like real like, you know, like celiac disease by all means, you know, that's like really, really fucking like important, you know? And it was just like a lot of rigidity, you know? And I think I was just blind to almost the fact that it was impacting my relationships. And I don't know how I had this like come to Jesus moment. But like I think it was just a like a slow.

kind of integration into other things over time that kind of made me realize, okay, I need some balance. And the flexibility piece is really important. And it's also important to have that flexibility in order to like sustainably do this for the rest of your life. You know, like, it's not just the quick fix. Like if I want to focus on longevity and health until I'm like a hundred years old, how the fuck am I going to do that if I don't have one fun experience? You know what I mean? Like, what am I doing all this for? Yeah, I agree. I was at a party on Saturday night and they flew in Mario Carbone to cook. And it was like, it was like 12 courses. Everything was cheese and butter and like meat and bread.

And it was late, you know, got home super late. It was up until like one in the morning. And I was in heaven. And I was thinking about like, wow, I've come so far because a few years ago, same. I would have been like, well, I can't eat any of this. The waiter actually came up to me and said, do you have any allergies? And I was like, not tonight. Like, I'm going for it. Isn't it the best feeling? Yes. And like, yeah, I had like a food hangover and I was tired the next day. But like, guess what? We bounced back. You know, like, and I have that experience. And I was like, oh, that's so refreshing, you know. And it's so nice to like be able to have that flexibility and not even think about it. I only thought about it because it was such a 180 from who I was, you know, five, six years ago. Yeah, and I look at these experiences that I've had, right? Like I would say like soul nourishing experiences that I would have 100% missed out on had I been so rigid for the rest of my life. Like I look at all the travels that I've done over the last few years or like these experiences that I've had with my friends where, you know, it was far from like what you'd think of like quote on quote like health and wellness vibes.

But I think it is part of health and wellness. quite frankly, you know, I think it's just, it's really important to fill up your cup and nourish your soul. And you do that through being carefree and like, I guess like not so rigid in your ways. Yeah. And like the relationship part is such an important aspect of it too, I think. And that's something that I've talked about a lot like just in the last even two years, you know, I've like really fostered like the friendships and the relationships in my life. And it's really rich and fulfilling. And that's something that I was lacking when I was isolating myself in this wellness lifestyle and kind of living my life online. You know, like it just, I had my priorities

wrong a few years ago. And I think that it's important for people to hear and to see. And that's something that you share a lot. Like you do have a very, I don't know, well-rounded life where like, yes, you share about waking up your cinnamon Americano, your journaling. And you're, and your workout. But then it's like, okay, then you're like out, you're living your life. You're running your business. You're traveling. You're drinking wine. You're in Mexico City eating all the food or in Italy. And you're having dinner parties. And it's like, wow, I think that's really inspiring for people to see. Thank you. You know, it's funny because just the same way that I went through this like period of time where I was very isolated when it came to like wellness. I feel like I went through the same thing with the work where I was so

obsessed with my career and getting ahead that for a while it was like I would say no to everything with my friends. And I realized after like a couple of years, I was like, well, shit, I've missed all of this stuff, you know? And I would always be the person. I'd be like, well, my friends can call me when something goes wrong. They know I'll be there. But then I was like, why would one of them call me when something goes wrong if I'm never there when things are right? Like I'm never there to celebrate their wins. I'm never there to go on that trip with them. And I had this realization that like, again, it's all about balance, right? Like I work my ass off. Don't get me wrong. And like, I love working. But at the same time, if I don't have relationships, if I don't have things outside of work and

work is my only identity, then like, what are you doing all of it for? You know, like, but to like get successful and just be lonely. Like, that's so sad. I think so many people have that experience. where they get everything that they thought that they wanted and they're completely unfulfilled because they were prioritizing all of the wrong things. You guys may have seen on my Instagram stories maybe a couple months ago that I was really into the whole 90s blowout look. I tried using rollers, but I found that to be incredibly time consuming and high maintenance. So I have been using the new Curl Secret by Conair. and I have to say it makes getting this gorgeous, effortless kind of 90s blowout vibe that is so trendy right now, so easy.

Remind me in my DMs if I don't do this to post a tutorial to show you guys how I do it, but it's so simple. It has three preset curl types. It has five temperature options. I can get a really nice curl on the lowest temperature option, which is great because I'm really trying not to use too much heat on my hair. It has three curl directions so you don't get this uniform look if that's not what you're going for. It also has a ceramic barrel to protect your hair. And if you are thinking about the mechanics of this and you're worried about tangles, they have anti-tangle tech that keeps hair smooth and protected while styling. So it really couldn't be easier.

And what I love about this too is that it lasts a long time. So I only like to style my hair once per shower. So I will style it and then I'll just sleep on it. And it really lasts for a few days and my hair looks effortless and healthy. And I have to say I've been getting so many comments on how long my hair has gotten. And I always disclose this. I do have a few extensions in the back just for added length. But my natural hair is so much longer and healthier now. And I think it might be because I'm not using these really extremely hot on it constantly to style. So you can shop Curl Secret by Conair. It's now available at all major retailers. Since Siff and I are talking about wellness non-negotiables in this episode, I am going to talk about one of my wellness non-negotiables that I'm sure you are all familiar with now, which is, of course, AG1. I have been drinking AG1 for, I think I calculated it about five years. I initially started taking AG1 daily for my gut health, and it really just turned into this foundational micro habit that really supports my overall health. And that's because AG1 is basically

a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs. So gut optimization, but also stress management, immune support. Since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline health. And I have even gotten my parents drinking AG1. I was back east, I guess, a month ago now, and they had AG1 in their fridge. I was so proud. I've gotten a lot of my friends in the medical profession, doctors, nurses, shout out John Stevenson, anesthesiologist, extraordinaire, and one of my best friends, husbands, he's drinking AG1. So many of my friends who are just like myself are drinking AG1 and everybody loves it. The main thing that everyone tells me is that they feel this kind of

zip of energy after they drink it, which I definitely feel this kind of clarity. A lot of my girlfriends, myself included, feel like it helped their skin and a lot of people say that it really helps with their bloating and gut issues as well. I like to drink mine first thing in the morning. I I just shake it up with some water. It has this really nice, not super sweet and kind of pineapple vanilla flavor, something that I really crave daily. And it's just like I said, this micro habit that has so many benefits. So AG1 is the supplement that I trust to provide the support. My body needs daily. And that's why they have been a partner for so long. And if you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free

AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkag1.com slash blonde files. That's drinkag1.com slash blonde files. Check it out. What are your wellness fundamentals? Like what are the things that really keep you kind of grounded so that then you can experience all of the other things? Like I know I mentioned the morning routine. Yeah. But I know so well. You're so consistent. Well, I'm consistent because I feel like that's like one of the most important things. Like for me, I love journaling. I think it brings me such peace. It allows me to go inwards and reflect and show up as the best version of myself.

And when things are going wrong, it allows me to almost rationalize with myself. Because I think that when things are going wrong, we just kind of have this tendency to be so gloom and doom. And kind of your mind is just, it just goes to. places where it doesn't need to be. And I think journaling is my tool to speak to myself and be like, okay, but why? Is that true? The same way that if a friend of yours is coming to you and, you know, they're going through something and all of a sudden their mind is somewhere that it doesn't even need to be. And then you look your friend in the eye and you're like, do you really think that's going to happen? Why? What is, what's your proof point? And I get to do that with myself while I journal. And so.

That's amazing. It's really a helpful experience. You know, I started journaling, I think it was like 2015. So it's been years now. And it's like the one practice that I've had over all of these years basically daily with like, of course, like there's small gaps. And again, flexibility is important. Knowing that this is a practice that I can come back to every single day that allows me to show up as the best most self-aware version of myself. So definitely journaling. And the other wellness thing I would say is exercise. I think it changes, I just think it changes the way you think because the endorphins, like the clarity that it gives me, it just makes me feel like the best version of myself. I'm really into weightlifting. I'm really into the benefits that gives you around longevity. That's something

that I'm really interested in. So I would say like if I could strip away everything else, those are probably the two things that I would keep over everything else. Journaling and weightlifting. Amazing. Or like any like any kind of exercise. anything any kind of exercise like take my weights away it's fine i'll still find a way to move yeah the thing with journaling i'm not consistent by any means but in recovery like you are encouraged to do a lot of writing and there is a lot of writing that i've done over the years i think for me i don't know if you relate to this it sounded a little bit like you might my biggest thing is storytelling i will make up the craziest fucking stories about what is happening in my life whether it's with relationships or with

work situations or with anything. I also like, I don't know, I have a few friends that I talk to every single day and they hear all my like crazy shit and they mirror this back to me. But like even seeing in my writing, my stories are never true. Ever. Ever. Ever. And I think it's so useful to have that like that evidence. I think that that's something about journaling too. That's like so, I don't know. Like you can go back and you can look. Oh, this time that I'm was really scared about this really hard thing. And wow, I went, I got through it and wow, it wasn't that bad. And like that time that I was making up that story about what I thought was going to happen. Like, that didn't happen. Yeah. Do you go back and you and read it? Yeah. I mean, I think it's,

it's really interesting. Like, I just did TikTok a couple of months ago about how I manifested the home that we currently live in. Okay. Tell us. I mean, this thing, like, it's actually a little bit scary. Okay. So for while we were going through our whole visa process, which was so long and like, I mean, it was a core part of my personality for like a fucking year and a half. Okay. Like, I was so stressed about this thing. And every day I would write in my journal like every single day about the house that we were happily living in in like our neighborhood and all of that. And I would describe it to such a tea like open kitchen plan, nice backyard, light from every side, walk in closet, like literally every detail.

And we moved into that house. We literally moved into that house. Like, I don't even know how it happened, but like I was just so invested in this thing. And, you know, because the house also represented for me like a sense of permanence, which I didn't have for two years because we were literally living out of a suitcase with like no end in sight as we waited for our visa. It was just horrible. And it's just, it's really interesting to go back and look at like the things you wrote about because I did that video. and then someone commented being like, can you show us an example of like what you'd written?

And I literally went back to one of my journals and I pulled out that entire snippet. And it was exactly what I described. It was literally my house. So it's, I think it's a very cool exercise. And I use it as like obviously like a manifestation piece as well. And it's very cool when you see it materialize.

Yeah, I feel like I've gotten into Joe Dispenza. and I know people are like, I love him. I love him too. I call him my spiritual zaddy. Truly. I was just at home and Chuck was listening to like some talk by him. And I was like, that is my spiritual zaddy. And he was like, really?

I'm like, yes. But I, ever since I've been doing his meditations, and he's big on feeling the emotions of having the thing. Totally. And I feel like it's crazy. It has been, I was talking to him last night about this. I'm like, it is crazy the things that have happened in my life. And I don't know if it's like because you are aware of it. So then when things materialize around you, you're like, huh.

But I think also like you are kind of subconsciously, consciously, like setting your intention in a certain direction. Totally. And then you're working towards that, even if you're like intentionally working towards it. I don't know if I'm. No, you are. Actually, Joe Dispenza was like, I read Becoming Supernatural years ago. And his book was the first one that allowed me to consistently get into a meditation pattern. I meditated like consistently for a year and a half. And then I forget why I let go of the practice essentially. But it really works. His method is unbelievable. And I, I truly believe that like, I don't know, like your mind is kind of like malleable. and you can attract those things to you that you want if you kind of step into those feelings. And I just use journaling as that kind of modality where like when I'm journaling and I do like future you journaling, for example, I like write about these things as though I already have them. And I think it's just so powerful because you really do feel like you have it.

And then I don't know, somehow it just shows up in your life. It's kind of weird. I've talked about that like on solo episodes, I think, where I'm like, I don't know. I, maybe it was like naivete, but like I always just was like, oh yeah, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. This is going to happen. This is going to happen. And, you know, yes, like some of that I think is upbringing and environment and privilege and all of that that that you can just assume these things. But crazy shit has materialized. Like when I have an intention and then like align my actions with that and feel like it's already mine. Like I just. assume that it's already happening. You know what, I think what you said is actually a really important piece that maybe people don't think about when they're like, oh, this shit is woo.

You said align my actions. Okay. So you can't just sit there and like think, you know, and wish. Because that's, that's just, we're just bullshitting ourselves at this point, you know? Like, I think the tangible action piece is really important. And when you step into that feeling of like, okay, I already have. this thing, I feel like you start acting like that person that already has it and start taking actions that way too, right? Like, I think a really interesting quote that I read that kind of

relates to this is that wealthy people aren't wealthy because of the things that they're buying. It's like they had certain actions to build up that wealth in order to like properly buy those things in like a fiscally responsible way. You know what I mean? So it's like whatever it is that you're wanting to achieve, like having that mindset and then like doing those actions that that that person who has those things does. Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm thinking of something in recovery. I don't know if this will be relatable or land with anybody, but I remember like an early recovery, you know, there's a big spiritual component to it and a lot of prayer and it's not religious prayer, but it's prayer with whatever you believe in. And I was like, well, you know, I'm praying and like,

like nothing is happening. Somebody was like, there's two parts to prayer. And I think there's two parts to manifestation. There's the prayer and then there's the action. Totally. And I remember this person used the example, like you can pray to not be a thief, but then you also have to keep your hand out of the cookie jar. Like so I think we can't just expect to think about something and it's going to materialize. But yeah, like not to talk in circles. You align yourself. And I think the more you write about it, meditate about it, pray about it, whatever your process is, even if you're just thinking about it on a walk, you know, there's so many different ways that you can do this. It's just, it's like, it's turning you in the right direction. And then you do

see more opportunities like, huh, and you have more clarity. And I think that that's like the process by which then these things materialize. But I also do think there's like an energetic Oh yeah component to it that we really don't understand. It's huge. I mean, this is like the bulk of Dr. Joe dispens's work. And I think it's really fascinating. And I 100% believe this shit. Like, I mean, the things that have happened in my life, it's like they shouldn't have

happened honestly. Like I like sometimes I like go through this whole thing where like, especially on days where I'm like, oh, like, you know, I have to do this, this and this. And I'm so behind. And I like think to myself like, ask yourself what 21-year-old you would think if they saw your life today. And I'm like, oh, shit. Like, I've actually come quite a long way. She'd be pretty fucking proud. It's amazing. And it's hard to maintain that perspective, I think, all the time. I was just talking

to Allie before we were recording. She's like, how's it going? And I'm like, I'm so busy. I'm leaving in three days. I'm going away. And I have to, like, do this work thing when I'm gone. And I have so much work for these brands, not with the podcast but for my management. And I'm like, God, you know, like how lucky. Like, it's such a quality problem. Champagne problems. Yes, but I lose it when I'm in it, you know. And like Chuck said to me the other day, like, that's way better than the alternative,

like sitting around waiting for someone to call hoping they want to work with you. It's true. But it's just so easy to lose sight of that. Yeah. I mean, I think self-awareness is important. and like when we go into this like, I don't know, place where we are, I guess, like, complaining about things or like in a place where we're, I wouldn't call it ungrateful, but just like, I guess overwhelmed. It's just really important to constantly like come back and center ourselves and kind of just have perspective, even on tougher days. So you mentioned like 21 year old SIF would be amazed at your life now.

do you think about where you want to go next or do you try to just stay in the moment? I would say both. Like I'm someone who's very good at staying in the moment in the sense that I'm a very grateful person. But I think that it's really possible to be a very grateful person while still kind of having your eyes on what's next for yourself. you know. So there's a book that I read. It's by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I'm forgetting the name, but it really is about the most successful people in the world have the ability to balance feelings of gratitude while also wanting the next thing, whereas people who tend to fail are people who can only think of future and almost berating themselves for where they are. So I'm someone who is very grateful and aware of how far I've come, knowing that I actually have a long way to go in order

to, like, achieve everything that I want to achieve. Like, I don't think I've even scratched the surface, but I'm really happy with where I am right now, knowing that, yeah, of course, like, there's so many goals that I have, you know, like, Nish and I, we love doing, like, we love talking about all the stuff that we want to achieve. Like, when we moved into our house, we have our lease for 18 months. We, we did, like, a video to our future selves being like, okay, in 18 months, like, this is where we think we're going to be. And then it'll just be fun to look at 18 months from now being like, okay, like, did we achieve all of these things? You know, these were our expectations of ourselves. So let's see how far we've come. That's a really good idea, actually.

I like that. I like the video idea. I did that on my notes app last year when I was like going through something hard. And I like wrote a note to myself to read when I was on a plane going somewhere like after I went through the hard thing. But I like the video better. It's a little more current. It's really cool. So I actually did it to my, I did like a video to myself. I actually, but this is another book by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. It's called Be Your Future Self Now. Do we need him? Yeah. You need to be it on your podcast. I would love to have him on my podcast. Honestly, like he's he's incredible. But my gateway into his work was Be Your Future Self Now, which is a book that I recommend. And at the beginning of the book, he talks about, I think it's Mr. Beast, the YouTuber, who essentially put out three. videos on YouTube to his future self. One was six months in, one year in, and five years in. And then he would go and do a reaction video once he hit those milestones. And those videos would essentially be like, in six months from now, I think that this is where I am, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the whole book is basically about like how to step into your future self. So I did that video. Like I did a six month,

one year and five year. And I watched my six month video. I thought it was like at end of April that I watched it. And I was like shocked. I was shocked because I achieved everything on that list plus more. Wow. So I was like, holy crap. Like when you put it out into the world and then you align your actions, like it's it's kind of insane. Like it's very cool. So definitely always thinking of like the next thing that I want to achieve. I just think that that's pretty normal for like someone who's like ambitious and goal oriented. Have you always been this way? Yes. Literally yes. I've always had high standards for myself and I've always like laughed at the idea of like if someone says like, oh, but this is normal. I'm like, that's not normal for me. Like I remember when I was younger, I always hated the idea of living in a

suburb, like in my entire life, I was like, this will never be me. And like, no hate to anyone who does. I just, I've always been a city person. And I've always been like, why would I compromise on that? And I remember, I was like, I think like 12 or 13 years old where I was out with my family and we were like seeing a family friend in the suburbs or something. And I was like, I could never live here. And my dad is like, well, what if you're married and your husband wants to move to the suburbs? And I was like, I would never marry someone like that. Like, I can't even fathom. And, Lo and behold, I married Nish, who is exactly like me in that sense. So I just, I don't know, like, I've always been specific about the goals that I have and never really settled for anything less.

Very inspiring. Thank you. Okay. So you always do Booker Podcast. Yes. And I'm like, how does she read all this? I'm a voracious reader, but of fiction. If I try to read nonfiction, I'm out.

Like, I don't retain it. Like, I don't, it's something that I'm working on because I feel like, I would be so smart if I could, like, actually read a nonfiction book and retain it. No, I think fiction books make us really smart, too, by the way, so give yourself a ton of credit. Thank you. I mean, I don't know that Colleen Hoover is like really. Well, you know what, Ariel? I think it allows us to understand relationships in human psychology even when you're reading fiction. Totally. Totally. And it's like, yes, it has so many benefits. But I see, you know, other people in my life who are the same way who, even my grandmother. So she's like 98, not college educated. Obviously it was a different time back then and everything. But she reads so much and she's so smart. So all of that said, if you had to pick one book that you think everybody should read her face just fell.

I saw this look wash over. This is the toughest question anyone's asked me. I'm like panicking. We can edit. You have time. You know the drill. One book. I know.

It's probably so hard because there's so many different. But like one book that you think everybody should read in their lifetime. Oh, okay. Let me think of how I want to answer this. Everyone as in. Mm. Hmm. Okay.

This is going to be the video clip too. Like truly me. Like I'm glitching right now. Like truly I'm glitching. Okay. I'm actually going to say be your future self now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. And the reason I say that is number one, it's top of mind.

But number two, it's also really an excellent read because I think oftentimes we really cut ourselves short. And I have conversations with people who are like, I don't know how to get there. What if I never get there? And I think that this book really gives people the confidence that they need and realize how, like, makes them realize, like, how much power we really have within us to achieve whatever it is we want to do.

And so the reason I recommend this book in particular is because I think it touches a lot of different things where, yes, I could recommend a book on wellness and hormones, which I think all women should read or, I don't know, a book on deep spirituality. but I think that this kind of touches things across the gamut. And so I would say this is a great book that everyone should pick up. Amazing. Well, tell everybody where they can find you. And also your podcast, speaking of hormones and everything,

like you have amazing guests on your podcast too and you're such a great interviewer. So everybody go listen to that. Just had to throw that in there. I feel like we didn't even touch on that. So you can find me on all social media platforms at SIF Heider. and you can find us Array on array.com and array.com on social. And my podcast is the Dream Bigger podcast. Amazing. Thank you.

Thanks for having me. I hope you enjoyed that episode. And if you liked it, and if you liked the show in general, please take a second to rate review and subscribe. It goes a long way. And it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde Files podcast.

on Instagram. You can go to areaallory.com, and I'm always posting about each episode over on my personal page at Ariel Laurie. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.