Well with Arielle Lorre - 313: How to Manifest the Life You Want According to Science with Stanford Neurosurgeon Dr. James Doty

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Dr. James Doty, MD, is a Stanford neurosurgeon and NYT best-selling author, with work focusing on manifestation rooted in science. In addition to his medical expertise, Dr. Doty has the lived experience of using manifestation to revamp his reality. After he went from rags to riches back to rags, Dr. Doty overhauled his thinking to focus on being spiritually and morally centered. In turn, the riches stayed for the long haul. In this fascinating episode, Dr. Doty explains the neuroscience of manifestation and how to utilize it to get the life you want. With that, we go into manifesting mistakes and what most people are doing wrong, leading to unhappy, unfulfilled lives. He shares how to break negative thought patterns and how to escape a fear-based mindset. We also discuss how to fit meditation into any lifestyle and the benefits of doing so. This was such a motivating episode - enjoy!Dr. Doty's most recent book, Mind Magic: https://amzn.to/3UnNPycSubscribe to Patreon for exclusive weekly content: patreon.com/ArielleLorreThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Go to helloned.com/BLONDE or enter code BLONDE at checkout to get 15% off.Go to neurohacker.com/BLONDE for up to $100 off and use code BLONDE at checkout for an additional 15% off.Visit OliveandJune.com/BLONDE for 20% off your first Mani System! For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code BLONDE.Go to boncharge.com/BLONDE and use coupon code BLONDE to save 15%. Go to fromourplace.com and enter my code BLONDE at checkout to receive 10% off sitewide. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lorry, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits. I know there's so much information out there, so I'm bringing on expert guests and sharing my own experiences to help you sift through all the wellness stuff without the BS. Enjoy the show.

Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. Welcome to one of my favorite episodes ever. I know I've said that a few times, but I reserve it for really special episodes. And today's episode is just that. I am talking to Dr. James Doty. He has been on the faculty of the Stanford University School of Medicine since 1997 in the neurosurgery department. He is also the founder and director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford, of which His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, is the founding benefactor, no big deal. He's also an inventor, an philanthropist. He's a consultant to medical device companies. He's an operating partner and advisor to venture capital firms. He serves on the board of a number of nonprofits. He's also the vice chair of the Charter for Compassion International and the former chair of the Dalai Lama Foundation. And he's an author. He has a book into the magic shop, a neurosurgeon's quest to discover the mysteries of the brain and the secrets of the heart, which has been translated into

40 languages. And he has a new book out now called Mind Magic. And this is what we are talking about today, specifically the neuroscience of manifestation. Dr. Doty has a fascinating story of going from rags to riches and back to rags again. And he's really candid and shares about how this informed his work that he does today. And I really loved hearing about his experience. And there were a lot of parallels to my own experience in addiction and in recovery now. So that was really fascinating to me. And of course, I love manifestation and I love science. So this episode is really the intersection of that. And we get into what most people are doing wrong when it comes to manifesting and how to do it correctly according to science. So I know that.

that you guys are going to absolutely love this episode. You are going to be manifesting the reality of your dreams after listening to this episode. I also highly recommend his book. It's amazing. There's a link for that in the show notes. So please enjoy Dr. James Doty. Welcome, Dr. Doty. Thank you. That's great to be with you today. I'm really looking forward to talking to you. I think I might be unique in that some people like fan girl over celebrities, I fan girl over scientists, physicians, spiritual leaders, all of those. So I'm really honored to have you here today. That's really kind of you. Yeah. Really love your work. So I would love for you to just introduce yourself briefly to the audience and tell them a little bit about the trajectory

of your career because we were just talking off Mike about how you were a neurosurgeon, technically still are a neurosurgeon, but your career has kind of taken a different path since then. Sure, without getting too much into the weeds. As you know, everybody has a backstory. In fact, as you were mentioning before we came on live, you were telling me a little bit about years. And I grew up in a challenging background. My father was an alcoholic. And my mother had had a stroke when I was a child and was partially paralyzed, had a seizure disorder, became chronically depressed, ended up attempting suicide multiple times. And the challenge, of course, for a child in that situation is in some ways it's a constant type of trauma, it's very hard for a child to overcome that type of a background to, quote, unquote, become a success. What changed for me, and I think it's an interesting reality, is how one person can change your life. And I met a woman in a magic shop, but quite by accident, and she actually knew nothing about magic. She was the owner's mother. We began talking, and I really connected with her because she was a very radiant human being who made me feel psychologically safe,

which, as you know, was a very important thing for us to be able to open up and be authentic. We started talking. And long story short, she said to me, I'm here for another six weeks. If you show up every day, I think I can teach you something that can help you. At that point, I was filled with a sense of hopelessness and despair. What she taught me was a mindfulness practice long before that terminology was used common. and she also taught me a manifestation practice. And from all of that, she inspired me and gave me confidence and in some ways taught me to overcome my limiting beliefs.

And that allowed me to truly change a trajectory of my life to become a physician, a neurosurgeon, an entrepreneur. and ultimately, once I became a neurosurgeon and an entrepreneur, nominally, I had reached every pinnacle of success defined by society, which of course promotes this narrative that if you're wealthy, powerful, or have a prominent position, that that will lead to happiness. And here I was in that position having everything, and I was more unhappy than I'd ever been in my life. What finally got my attention was that I ended up losing about $80 million in the dot-com crash. And I went from this very prominent position, but a very unhappy position, to reflect it on my life. What I realized was all the actions I was doing were focused on me being acknowledged or people telling me how great I was. It was empty.

And every time I reached a pinnacle, I kept. expecting this outside affirmation to make me feel okay and to deal with my own shame and insecurities. And of course, it did not. And so when I lost everything, I went through a period of reflection. And what was interesting, and you have to remember, I was 12 years old when this interaction happened, when I was taught this visualization technique, I was looking through the eyes of a 12-year-old, and I missed a bit. And so, you know, I wrote down on the list she gave me, or she asked me to write this list. You know, I wanted a Rolex, I wanted to be rich, I wanted to live in a mansion, I wanted a Porsche. And certainly I ended up getting all of those things. The thing I missed was that

everything was self-focused and I didn't have the maturity to understand that focusing only on yourself ends up being hollow and you end up being unhappy. So when I went through that period of reflection, after losing that money, in fact, I was $3 million in the hole. I always tell people you get two good friends when that happens. One is your banker because I borrowed $15 million and I had to pay it back. And the other was my lawyer. Long story short, though, I had made some stock donations to charity. I met with my lawyer and he said, look, we actually did not file the paperwork. You can take all of that stock back. But after this period of reflection, I decided to go ahead and donate that stock. And that ended up being $30 million to charity. But the interesting

thing about that was I tell people I went from rags to literally riches to rags. But when I went through this period of reflection and I stopped focusing on me and what I needed, but looking through the lens of how can I be of service, I got everything. And that included, as an example, found in the center at Stanford that studies the neuroscience of compassion. But also, it turned out, or it ended up that the Daoai Lama was our first benefactor. And then he and I became friends, and I became chairman of the Dalai Lama Foundation. And then this led me to leading, most of the leading spiritual and religious leaders in the world. And so it was a very fascinating trajectory.

But I would say that I got much more in terms of riches from that situation because I let go of what I thought I wanted. And I think in some ways that's the challenge, especially for young people, is understanding the difference between what you think you want. and what you actually need. Yeah. Wow. That's a really powerful story. And there's a lot that I could relate to in my own life, even though circumstances are different. But, you know, I remember back when I was deep into my alcoholism, I kept thinking that something external would change my circumstances and change how I felt inside.

And I felt like if I only got the right amount of money or the right car or the right relationship or I just got back in school, the right job, everything would get better. and I had an experience in my recovery, I would say five or six years into recovery, I had all the things, all the money, all the cars, all the material stuff, the houses, flying private, and I was miserable because I was putting that ahead of my spiritual life, my inner life. And I think that people can hear that and understand it, but it's completely different when you experience it yourself. And I remember for me, it was really jarring because I thought, well, now what? And I don't know if you had that experience too, where, you know, I thought at least it would move the needle a little bit, you know, as far as happiness goes. And of course, it's nice to be

financially secure and all of that. But it was kind of a desperate moment for me because I thought, well, I got this all wrong and like, I don't know where to go from here. No, that's exactly right. And this is. it's so sad because, you know, popular media has promoted a narrative of what defines success, especially in a Western capitalist society, and that's money, power, and position. And the sad thing is that so many young people chase after that because they don't have the experience or the insight. Now, I will tell you, it's interesting because I've talked to some people to go, well, I just want to try having everything and see how unhappy I'll be. Yeah, maybe it'll be different for me.

And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against material success in the context of also having an inner life of spirituality, maybe one, being of service to others. But that really has, I think, to be the focus of your life, not sort of the selfish narrative of what makes me happy. Because the most powerful thing any of us have is our ability to have connection with others. and that makes us a human. When we're able to do that, we connect with others. Our physiology works its best, both mental and peripheral physiology. Our longevity is increased. And it's all about seeing the other, recognizing that everyone is suffering, making efforts to try to relieve that.

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recovery again. It's kind of this altruistic movement, right? And there's a big emphasis on being of service to others. And for me, it's really the only thing that provides relief because I forget about myself. And you were saying, like you're so self-focused. And when you make others the priority or the focus, you are forgetting what you are getting, what you aren't getting, what you're afraid of losing, what you, you know, all of those things. No, that's right. And it's interesting. You talk about your own recovery because externally, I mean, for many people without hearing my story, they think, oh, wow, you had a cushy life and look at your situation. And I will tell you, I have struggled with addiction myself. And I still have a sponsor after 30 sub years.

Wow. Wow. Okay. So right now, I feel like manifestation is really popular. It's everywhere. all kinds of people promoting different kinds of manifestations. What do we get wrong about manifestation? Well, I think and very much it relates to what we were just talking about. As an example, there's the book The Secret, which, as you probably know, was incredibly popular and had several spinoff aspects of it. But if you really look into it, the narrative was very self-focused. You know, what do I want?

You know, if you want to be a millionaire, if you want to do, you know, have a Porsche, et cetera, et cetera, whatever it was. you just do this. And in fact, that's what I ended up doing because I was very self-focused and I did not have self-awareness or insight as a 12-year-old. So I just put all the techniques

that are used commonly for manifestation out there and I did get all those things, but I was miserable. What I realized in this period of self-reflection was that one, that type of narrative where your self-focused leads to unhappiness, but the other is that the most powerful aspect is in your mind.

And you mentioned you kept looking for things in the universe that we're going to come and save you. The first sentence in my book is the universe doesn't give a fuck about you. It's my favorite thing ever. It's funny. I was talking to John Hamm the other day and he was said, because he's read the book early on,

he was said, well, at best it is indifferent. But that is the problem. And the power is within you. And this is what people forget because they think that something outside has the power to influence their lives. And it is in some way, but the most powerful thing to change your life is inside of you. It's just learning how to use the tools that already exist. Because all of us every day are manifesting.

It's just we do it very efficiently for most people. So having techniques that maximize your brain, if you will, to embed your intention, are very powerful. And so this book is actually based on neuroscience. It's not based on the woo-woo and the pseudoscience. But I would say that there are aspects of it that are identical. It's just like religion. I mean, religion is fundamentally based on compassion.

But over thousands of years, people have learned these techniques, but they've wrapped it always around the dogma that serves that culture. And in some ways, I think that's analogous to what's happened with manifest. But they're very concrete ways in which you can maximize the potential for you to manifest. Because one, manifestation isn't one and done. It takes work. And the other thing is that when you focus on the other in the process of manifesting, several things happen.

One is you get outside of yourself and you realize you're not that important. Two is when you're of service to others, that activates your brain networks much more than if it's self-focused. It's like depression is self-focused, right? When you're afraid, it's very self-focused. When you accept that things aren't always perfect, when you are not chasing things for self, but are focused on making other people happy, making their lives better, you realize several things happen. you do get all the things you want, but oftentimes you realize that the things you thought you wanted aren't really what you need. Yeah. And that's a fascinating journey, I think. I have lots of experience with that one, and I've come to the conclusion that I am not a good

judge of what's good for me or bad for me because so many things like you, things that I thought I wanted, I got, and they turned out to be the worst thing for me. And conversely, things that I I thought would be the worst things for me were the best things for me. You know, I always referred to getting sober 10 years ago. I thought getting sober would be the end of my life, the worst thing to ever happen to me. And it's the foundation for my entire life. And it's been the greatest joy of my life. And again, you went from being self-focused by drinking and sort of doing these negative

behaviors, if you will. And then suddenly you're helping other people overcome their own. struggles or looking at people who are suffering and also understanding, I think, that everyone is suffering in different ways. And this is, I think, also where people get confused is because if you look at the media and some influencers, they give the impression that their lives are perfect. And, you know, having been around the block several times and knowing some extraordinarily wealthy people, oftentimes it's just the opposite. I mean, so many of these people are miserable and they keep trying to fill the emptiness that all of us have with things.

Yes. And the thing is that it's the difference between what we call hedonic happiness and utamanic happiness. A hedonic happiness is all focused on self-pleasure and decreasing pain, but it's very transitory. Yes. So you have to keep doing more and more of it. Yep.

And also it builds on people admiring you for, you know, living this lifestyle. And, you know, suddenly nobody's that interested again and you start feeling this emptiness. When you're of service to people, when you care about people, the reward is this incredible effect on your physiology, both mental and peripheral physiology. Because if you look at how we evolve as a species, we're one of the few animals that our offspring don't run off into the jungle or the forest or swim away. They have to be cared for. Well, there's an imperative there for our survival that we take care of them. Well, why would we spend time and resources to take care of our offspring unless somehow we're rewarded? And the way we're rewarded is by the release of different neurotransmitters, one of which I'm sure you're aware of is oxytocin or the love hormone or bonding hormone.

That stimulates your pleasure and reward center. So you want to do these actions for others. The other thing is that it also shifts you into engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. And this is called the rest and digest system. So this is the system where when you're in that state, you're open, you connect with others, your executive control areas and your brain work their best. It gives you access to memory, prior experiences. But it also has a huge effect on your peripheral physiology in the context.

of what we call heart rate variability. It decreases that, and that may seem like a paradox, but also your heart rate goes down, your blood pressure decreases, your immune systems boosted, the release of stress hormones are decreased, inflammatory protein production is markedly decreased, and actually all from just being kind, thoughtful, and connecting with others, and it's very, very powerful.

And that's really, if somebody experiences that authentically, they get it suddenly and they start focusing on that because when you're in that state, you're constantly happy because you're being rewarded for caring. Yeah, and I've heard you say that conversely, if you are in fear or anxiety, it's kind of blocking that executive functioning. It's blocking that access to memory and experience. So I would imagine that you just get kind of in this little bubble. No, you're exactly right.

And that's the sad thing is in some ways, this is what happens when you're self-focused. Because when you're self-focused, you're worried about you, which in some ways a fear state. And as you pointed out, the fear state activates your sympathetic nervous system, this flight, fight, or freeze response. And it does just the opposite in terms of how it affects your brain and your peripheral physiology. And so in some ways what we're talking about is understanding the difference between, functioning in a fear state and a love state. And I would suggest you and the neuroscience supports it. When you look through the lens of love, your ability to manifest is much, much greater. I know all of my listeners are interested in wellness like myself. And I know that we can tend to

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I know that you talk about things like repetition and feeling the emotion. How does that come into play when we're manifesting? Because I'm sure everybody listening is going, this sounds great. How do I manifest the things that I want focusing on others rather than myself? Like, how does that look in practice? Well, let me give a brief overview of various brain networks. And I don't want to get lost in the week. We love the science here.

Go into the weeds. We love it. Okay, okay. So what many people don't appreciate is we have these cognitive brain networks. And they're a combination of different areas in the brain that work together in very specific situations. So they're basically four that impact your ability to manifest. So the first is your default mode network. Okay.

And this is when you mind wonder, but it's also self-referential and it creates a narrative of yourself. Conversely, the executive control network is diminished when you're mind-wondering and it's activated when you're not, and they work in combination, obviously, then. The executive control network, though, is how it makes things happen, as an example, how does it manifest your intention? But the other two networks that are important are the salience network and the attention network. And the way they work is that when you are able to embed your intention into your subconscious, and that's the part of our brain where we have some access to versus the unconscious, then when that is activated, it's interesting because it acts like a bloodhound in some ways where it's looking for situations that can help you manifest your intention.

And what I mean by that as an example is that I was at a coffee shop recently and there's a project I'm working on. And I'm sure you've been in the situation like if you're at a party, even though it's loud and noisy and you hear your name, you immediately turn, even though there's tons of noise there. And in a similar sense, it determines what is salient, right? And so I was at a coffee shop and there's this project I'm working on. And like, even though it's noisy, there are a couple tables over. I hear two individuals talking about the exact same thing that I had been working on. And I went over and introduced myself and I started talking. And now we're working together on the project.

And the point is that it was looking for opportunities. Now, some people might call that synchronicity or a coincidence, but it's not. It is you've embedded this. And so what's happened is it gets embedded. And then the salience network is looking for these different opportunities. but it activates the attention network to laser focus defining what that is you want to accomplish. And then once that happens, it also activates your executive control network to actually make that happen in the sense of on a conscious level making that happen and doing. When you're relaxed, when you're comfortable, when you're open, all of these networks work their best.

When it's more self-focused, it's not to say they don't work. But what your goal is, or most of our goal, is how do I manifest what's important to me? But again, as you mentioned earlier, you have to clarify your intentions and understand the difference between what you think you need versus what you truly need. And those can be far apart. And it can be very hard. The interesting thing is that once you're able to do that, though, and practice these different techniques. you mentioned some of them. And one of the greatest things, I think, and I mentioned earlier myself, was a meditation practice.

Because in that way, you get access to these deeper levels, and you can actually also learn to focus. Because without attention and focus, it's hard to accomplish anything. And I will tell you, as a 12-year-old in that magic shop, and I would go with this woman for a couple hours in this dingy room in the back with Shaggarpity to sit with her, these practices, you can't learn anything or you can't escape sort of this voice inside your head unless you learn how to do that. And the best way to do that is a mindfulness practice. Now, what I did learn is, though, that, and I'm sure you're familiar with John Cabotson, John's a friend of mine, but you look at the mindfulness practice. I viewed it slightly differently in the sense that it doesn't explicitly talk about compassion, self-compassion. And these are really

two critical components of overcoming the negative self-talk that limits your beliefs. I feel like you're anticipating some of my questions because I was going to follow up by asking what kind of mindfulness practice do you have and what do you recommend other people do or does it just vary, whatever people can do to kind of go within? Yeah, I think one of the challenges for many people is they have a vision of meditation as sitting on a mat and in this pose that's uncomfortable. And especially for type A people, it's hard to handle being quiet and silencing yourself. And that's certainly a way to do it. But if you look at the work of Tiknaudhan and others, there's walking meditation. And that's, I think, very powerful. The purpose is

to be with yourself, to not be distracted, to not respond in the sense to the negative dialogue, or get distracted by it. The other component, though, I think is very important, which is my own practice and actually what we teach at the center I founded at Stanford, is to change the narrative, not just to ignore the negative self-talk, but actually change it with positive self-affirmations. Because when you're always beating yourself up, again, it's hard. That limits your belief.

When you say, I can't do it, by definition, that becomes your reality. And honestly, the brain does not know the difference between what you're thinking and what is. And so once you do that, you've already lost in some ways. And again, I do emphasize, though, that none of us can get rid of the negative dialogue 100%. It's just not possible. It's not how we are wired or how we evolved. But you can certainly diminish it. You can certainly learn to ignore most of it.

And that will, in some ways, liberate you to be your best self to thrive. I started doing TM five or six years ago. I was dabbling in other kinds of meditation prior to that and just I wasn't feeling really like I was getting anywhere. And suddenly, I don't know if I manifested this, but I started noticing people everywhere who I really admired who were doing TM. There was this couple who they've been sober each 50 plus years. They're in their 90s. And I went to dinner with them and they were so youthful and just had this thing about them. And that you can't place. And I asked the wife what her secret was and she said TM. And then there was somebody else who, you know, I asked, what are you doing? She said, TM. And so I decided to try it for myself. And the idea of sitting in silence for 20 minutes twice a day was so daunting to me.

Yeah. And I think that that is something that blocks a lot of people because, you know, we are so resistant and probably on some level afraid of being with ourselves even for five minutes. and we're so distracted now we can go through the day without having to be with ourselves at all. So what do you recommend people do if they're feeling like that? Well, again, as you pointed out for yourself, you try different techniques. I mean, really, the technique is try to silence the chatter and to just be with yourself. And also understand that every human being is imperfect, incomplete, and life is impermanent.

And these fundamental tenants, that is reality. And so you can't beat yourself up. And the reality is every one of us, no matter what we've done on some level, if we authentically want to be better people, you understand that all of us are imperfect, but every one of us, no matter what we've done, still deserve to be loved and cared for. You know, I gave a talk at Princeton recently about youth mental health. And, you know, I stood in front of this audience of obviously academics and very prominent people. I said, you know, I stand before you as an imperfect, flawed human being who's repeatedly made mistakes,

whose lied has done horrible things that I'm ashamed of, but I still deserve to be loved. But to be able to get to that point, it takes a lot of work. But it is possible. And through some of the techniques in my book and also my prior book, into the master, magic shop, there's a whole lot of information that in some ways not only doesn't tell my own story, but the reason it tells my story is because so many people resonate with those experiences and the techniques that I learned have been beneficial to many, many people. And in some ways, it really warms my heart that I've been able to sort of be the channel. And in some ways,

it is what Ruth taught me, which was fundamentally to pay it forward. Is Ruth still alive? Well, she'd be about 120. I didn't do the fast math on that one. Yes, she is. But did she get to see you? No, no. You know, it's actually quite sad.

So I spent this summer with her, which was obviously transformative in many ways. and then she left. About nine months later, I went back to the strip mall where this magic shop was and all the stores were closed and it was surrounded by a fence and they were tearing it down,

it looked like. And it was interesting because as I talked about in my book, I had this orange stingray bike with this banana seat and I'm sure that's long before your time. But I remember it was dusk

and the wind was sort of blowing and this was in the high desert. And so do you see these streaky white clouds and dusk is happening and the wind is sort of blowing. I'm looking at the sun and go, my God, you know, what happened here? And then this tumbleweed comes, it hits me.

It was this very evocative scene. But when I wrote that first book, I actually hired an investigator because I wanted to separate what I thought happened from the facts, or at least the best I could, because all of us create a narrative in our head about things, right? And it turned out that a few years later she got breast cancer and died.

of breast cancer, which was very sad because, obviously, down the road, I would have loved to have come back and say, thank you. The interesting thing is, though, that after that book came out, an individual reached out to me, and he said, my parents were best friends with her. Wow. And he said, could we meet? And I said, sure. And so we met, and he gave me a book. She had signed to his parents with her name and signature. And also a necklace that she had given his mother. Oh, my gosh. That's incredible. I am a very sensitive person.

My acupuncturist told me that I have a sensitive constitution, which to me feels like a burden sometimes because my nervous system in particular is just so sensitive. And my acupuncturist pointed out to me that it can be a really good thing because I also respond to things like treatments and supplements really well because I am so sensitive. One supplement that I cannot live without is my magnesium, specifically my mellow magnesium. So I initially started taking this because it helped with my sleep. But I just found that it is so nourishing for my entire nervous system and my entire body. I've said for years that when I started taking this magnesium, it was like finding a missing puzzle piece that I had been searching for.

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as soon as I got back were my sauna blanket and my P-E-M-F mat. So you guys know I love my sauna blanket it so much. It is probably my number one wellness non-negotiable tool that I use. It's amazing. It basically works by raising your heart rate to that of physical exercise so it burns calories while you relax. And of course, the sweating helps to flush out heavy metals and other toxins. I love it for a number of reasons. One, it's portable. I can put it on my couch or on my bed. I can watch TV. I can read a book. I can do emails. I can do whatever work I need to do. my head is out. So in a traditional sauna, I just find it to be a little bit suffocating because I'm breathing in hot air and I feel a little bit trapped, whereas the sauna blanket is just heating up my body and like I said, my head is out. So it works by using infrared light, which heats up the body directly rather than the air around you. And it elevates your heart rate while relaxing releases endorphins, which can leave you feeling euphoric after your session. I always feel so good. I I feel so cleansed.

I notice that my skin is so much glowier when I do it regularly. So that's the sauna blanket. The PEMF mat is my other new favorite thing. I talked about it on stage at Dear Media IRL because it's another one of my wellness non-negotiables now. So PEMF stands for pulsed electromagnetic field. The bond charge PEMF mat also has crystals and it basically sends these pulses through your body and the crystals are very activating and it also has LED light as well. So I absolutely love it. I will sit on it when I'm again multitasking or I love meditating on my PEMF mat. It is the most

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And it reminded me of something that I heard somebody say, again, in recovery, that's where all my good things come from. And she was talking about the same thing. And she said, you know, some people just want the one-story building, but some people want the 50-story building. And it's okay to want that. But the higher you want to go, the deeper your foundation has to be. And what you were saying kind of reminded me of that. But I've also heard you talking about, you know, the fact that it's okay to feel like I have enough. And ultimately, we're the only ones who are going to make ourselves happy. So can you talk about the moment that you kind of realize that for yourself and maybe how

other people can try to get to that place as well? Well, I think that's one of the biggest challenges in our society because, again, not to beat up Western capitalism too much, because it's allowed us to be here today and all sorts of wonderful things to happen, but it also has a negative side. And one of those is a constant narrative that you need more. And I think this is one of the biggest challenges for people. And you mentioned goals or attachment to outcomes, if you will. The problem is that goals in achieving are wonderful things, but you have to keep it in the context of not being so singularly focused on accomplishing that. Because when that is the only thing of interest to you, two things happen. One is the journey there is actually where most wonderful things happen.

That's where you interact with people. That's where you authentically connect with people. And it's that authentic connection, again, that stimulates our parasympathetic nervous system actually results in our physiology working its best, our longevity to be increased. And when you're singularly focused on that, everything else drops aside, relationships, friendships, important things that you should be paying attention to. And then you get there. And for many people, they get there again, as we were talking about, I'm at the top of the mountain, so what? And if there's nobody who deeply loves you or connects with you, what was the whole purpose of it anyway? Again, I'm not against material things, but it's when that becomes your singular focus.

And you forget about the reality that those mean nothing, the most important thing. And you can look at the blue zone studies. You can look at the work by Robert Waldinger, who is the head of the Harvard longevity study. You can look at the work of Robert Waldinger at Harvard and the longevity study. And every bit of science tells you that when you're not self-focused, when you're focusing on relationships, deep relationships, deep connections, that has an incredible positive impact on your health, your well-being, and your longevity. And that attitude, looking through the world through that lens,

is actually how you are able to most likely manifest every goal or dream that you have. And part of it is a meditative practice, but doesn't have to be, as we were talking about, sitting on a mat or, but there are a variety of techniques. You mentioned TM. Bob Roth, I don't know if you know Bob. He's a good friend of mine. Not personally. I would love to, though. He's a special being.

But we can go into spirituality if you want. But because I was just thinking for some reason, do you know, Amma, the Hugging Saint? No. Oh, you should check out. A. M.M.A. She's an incredible. She's a woman from India. She doesn't speak English. She's about like five feet tall. But she's just a light that's so amazing. She's like the Dalai Lama. When you're with her, you have this sense of unconditional love and acceptance. And you see, this is what we're all striving for.

And that's why so many people follow these people, because when you're in their presence, and this can be you. You can be that gift to the world. And when you're that presence, then everything is possible. You don't have limiting beliefs anymore. You see the world through a lens of abundance, not through scarcity.

And it's fear that creates the scarcity narrative. So this is possible, but it's all in your head. You are the only person who can release yourself from the prison. And that's by self-acceptance, self-love, and caring for others. So powerful. Tell everybody where they can get your book and find out more about your work. Sure. There are a few sites. One is you can get the book at any bookseller pretty much for pre-order. It's called Mind Magic, the Neuroscience of Manifestation and how it changes everything.

You can also get the other book, my first book, which is called Into the Magic Shop, a neurosurgeon's to discover the mysteries of the brain and the secrets of the heart. The center that I run at Stanford is called the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. And actually, we provide a variety of courses on compassion, self-compassion, and how to help you with stress and anxiety. And that site is CCA-R-C-E-D-Sanford.edu. There's also my website, which is James are Doty MD, and it gives you all that information there. Plus, shockingly, I also have a podcast into the magic shop.com. The other interesting thing, which I actually haven't mentioned, but which you might be interested in, is I actually created an app, believe it or not,

for mental wellness called happy, h-a-p-I-a-I.ai. But the interesting thing about it is it assesses your emotional state through facial expression and visual. voice analysis, as well as converting your speech into text to understand the context. Then it's connected to a conversational AI knowledge base we created based on compassion, focused therapy, and psychology. But the key is it's connected to a human avatar. Wow. And it talks to you. And the wonderful thing about that is that so many people are afraid of being judged that here you can have a conversation and be open and honest. And it is, if you will, programmed to be thoughtful, to listen, to care. And the fascinating thing about it is, have you ever tried VR glasses?

Yeah, well, typically they'll put you over an abyss, right? Yeah. And you're on a plank. Yeah. And they'll usually tell you to jump off. Well, most people won't, right? Because even though on a cognitive level, you know you're safe in a carpeted room, on your subconscious, you cannot do it. The thing about using an avatar is you cannot help but connect to it as a human being. Wow. So you get that emotional connection and feeling of support, which is far different than chatbots. Yeah. You type in like, I'm sad.

Well, are you sad like you stubbed your toe sad? Are you sad like, you know, potentially going to commit suicide? So it understands emotion, but it also gives you this depth of connection because you cannot connect, typing into the universe, right? Yeah. So. I've tried testing conversations with child. chat GPT and it didn't get very far for certain things.

Well, you know, it's funny you say that because I was on chat GPT and I said, write a bio for me, right? And it was actually fairly accurate, but it listed like 10 awards that I had received. And five of them were just completely made up. No way. Yes, but I still put them on my CV. I mean, if chat GPT says, it's really. Amazing.

Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing. your work. This was such an honor. Well, thank you for having. I appreciate it. It was a joy talking to. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that episode. And if you liked it, and if you liked the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes a long way, and it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to the Blonde Files podcast on Instagram. You can go to areallori.com. And I'm always posting about each episode over on my personal page at Ariel Lori. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products

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