Well with Arielle Lorre - 340: Change Your Money Mindset & Change Your Reality with Shamina Taylor

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

Shamina Taylor is an attorney turned wealth expert, business mentor, author and keynote speaker who empowers ambitious women to elevate their lives and achieve peak success. She joins the show to discuss how to master your money mindset and live your most abundant life, including overcoming financial dependence, how to have a better relationship with money, how to identify core wounds that hold us back, what money represents to us, why giving more is the key to receiving, the difference between wealthy men and women and more. Subscribe to Patreon for exclusive weekly content: patreon.com/ArielleLorreGo to tryarmra.com/BLONDE or enter BLONDE for 15% off your first order.Go to betterhelp.com/FILES to get 10% off your first month.Visit fatty15.com/BLONDE or use code BLONDE for an additional 15% off their Starter Kit.Visit AquaTru.com and enter BLONDE for 20% any purifier. Go to boncharge.com/BLONDE and use coupon code BLONDE to save 15%. Discover your perfect shade of Weightless Skin Foundation at BobbiBrown.com.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go to your rice-adviseur or Sunnycars. The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lori, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off

limits. I know there's so much information out there, so I'm bringing on expert guests and sharing my own experiences to help you sift through all the wellness stuff without the BS. Enjoy the show. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I have a really interesting episode for you today. all around money and specifically our mindsets around money, which can really determine how we interact with money, how we make money, all of that in our lives. So I'm talking to Shamina Taylor. She is an attorney-turned-wealth expert. She's a business mentor, author, keynote speaker, and the host of the unapologetically rich podcast. She empowers ambitious women to elevate their lives and achieve peak success. And she is on the show today, teaching us how

to master our money mindsets and live our most abundant lives. So we talk about overcoming financial dependence. We both were in marriages where we had a certain level of financial security. And we talk about the anxiety and the fear and also the confidence that came with leaving those situations. We also talk about how to have a better relationship with money, how to identify core wounds that hold us back. We talk what money represents to us. She actually said something really profound. It was a major aha moment, major breakthrough for me. And that was that money is a piece of paper. It's an energy. And it's never about the piece of paper. It's always about who provided it to you first, meaning your relationship with money largely depends on who provided it to you first.

and what that relationship was like. And I was like, whoa, that is so true. It completely changed my perspective on money and my money mindset and why I am the way I am when it comes to money. So that is just a little preview of the conversation. We also talk about the difference between wealthy men and wealthy women, being in our masculine versus our feminine, why giving more is the key to receiving and so much more. So please enjoy Shamina Taylor. Welcome. Thank you for having me. Really excited to talk to you. We were just talking briefly before we started recording about kind of a shared experience that we've both had, which is going through a divorce and maybe some level of financial security as a result of that relationship and then, you know, being on our own. And I think that's a situation that a lot of women find themselves in as well. So I would love to start there before we dive into all things. things money, financial mindset, scarcity, abundance mindsets, all of that. All the things. Yes, all the things. It's so funny you say this because I was, well, not so funny because I was doing my hair earlier to

come here. And the thought hit me that, I mean, the life that I've created right now for my children and I is just so extraordinary. Like money's not an option anymore to do anything we want. We have just amazing life. But I just remember going, it was going through my phone on the way here looking for something to send to my team. And I saw pictures of screen. And I saw pictures of screen. shots I took of my account, I don't know, six years ago. And it was pathetic. It was so bad. It was on life support. And to think that where I am now, I think one of the things as women is we are raised with society telling us that the only way we can have that dream life is if we're partnered. And if we have someone taking care of us and providing it for us, which men should provide for us. But it's like,

that's the only way you are going to succeed or have success or have anything is if a man brings at you because men know how to make money. And I feel like I've completely changed that narrative. And if more women can see the power that's within them of what they can create and they have a different association with success and money, they would change the outcomes of what they can do in their lives. I do believe there's a string there of why women do things and why they don't. What do you think that string is? So safety and protection. Like feeling safe in the ability to create wealth, to have it, to keep it, to take care of herself, to defend herself, to be okay. And we look to other people, like, and especially men, for that. Now, I have a whole thing,

which we're going to get into, but I believe that money is masculine for us. And I feel like the way we receive it's in our feminine. And if we are looking at the money being masculine, we're either chasing it or we're allowing it in. It's not both. So if we're always looking for the safety and security. And after divorce, I mean, that's the scariest time of your entire life. I think I've had like anxiety maybe twice in my life. Once when I gave birth and the seconds when I knew I was going to get divorced. Yeah. And it was like, oh my gosh, like who's going to take care of me kind of thing? Because in our relationship, my money was the fund money and his money was the provider money. You know, for one year after my, when I was doing this work, it took me a year to break the belief

that I could provide for myself. Even though my mother was a breadwinner in the family and my great-grandmother, my grandmother, all of them, you know, they made money. I just, just didn't feel like I could do it because the way it was set up before I didn't have the belief. But as soon as I switched that belief that I could also make money and I could also take care of my children, it was game on. Yeah. Yeah, it is a terrifying thing. And I had that fear too. And I was in a position when I was going through my divorce where I was making a lot of money, but he was a billionaire. And despite the money that I was making and the capacity to earn and my mindset around money, like I still had this paralyzing fear that I wasn't going to have that safety net anymore.

Absolutely. And everything that you're saying is resonating so much because there is still this belief that like a man has to provide that for you. Well, yeah, and I've had so many clients that have come to me and they have their MBAs. successful women and their father told them, make sure you marry rich because, you know, or else, you know, make sure you get someone to take care of you or else. And it is the fear because money doesn't change us. It doesn't matter how much money you have. It's almost like I was telling one of my team members yesterday I was and when I was showing her these screenshots of my account being on life

support, I was like, I had to go down to a place where my safety was shaken. So I knew that I could make it back up again. It's almost like you hear these stories where people hit rock bottom. Okay, well, this is the place. All right. Well, I can survive. from here. If I know I can survive here, then let's game on. And I think it's the fear of getting down to being so broken or to a place of like, you know, having more more days left in the month and having to use credit cards to get by or, you know, and I was so proud. I would never ask anybody for help. And now my bank account is flourishing and, you know, I've made millions since then. But being able to take away the fear of not having is what I think, believe, gets you safe with the having.

because the fear is going to live in you always like a continuous thread all the time. Like, be worried. I know I have clients that have money and they're afraid to spend it. They're afraid to invest it, to use it. And I feel like that's the worst type of broke that you can be because you just don't know that more is coming, which I say all the time. Interesting. I see it among some extremely wealthy people that I know too. It's almost like the more they have, I mean, I'm talking extreme levels of wealth. The more they have to lose. But back to what. you were saying about the rock bottom. I mean, I'm sober 10 plus years. And as you were talking, thank you about how you almost had to get to that place. That also resonated a lot with me because I think rock bottom can be such a powerful thing. I think it was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And it's turned into such an asset. And I always say, like, I have to hit rock bottom with whatever it is that I'm dealing with. Like, I've had to hit rock bottom with health stuff, with like exercise,

over exercising, you know, until I ran myself into the ground. And then. then I was willing to do something different and change my perspective. And I'm curious to hear when you were at your rock bottom, what were some of the first things that you did to get yourself out of that that in turn changed your mindset around money? This is, I believe everybody can adopt this would be a game changer. And I do agree with you. I do believe some of the wealthiest people I know have the most scarcity mindset because money doesn't change it. They know how to make money, but they don't know how to be in that.

relationship. So what I had to start doing was become the wealthy woman before I had the money come in. I had to start having that mindset that I was rich and wealthy prior to. So what would a wealthy woman do? How would she act? Well, my account was withdrawn. You know what I was taking pictures of that it was 11, 11, $11 and $11 in there. And that's what I was celebrating, although the withdrawn was happening and withdrawal was happening. So I was looking for the gratitude. What could I be grateful for with what I have now. And I started acting like her. I started, you know, adopting a wealthy woman mindset now. Like, how does she carry herself? She doesn't wear ripped underwear. She doesn't, you know, she has high standards. She, I started going to places, even if I couldn't get the whole meal, I would go there. And I had

money before, but it wasn't my money. It was our money. It was different kind of money, you know? And I wanted to be able to provide for my kids. So I'd go to restaurants and I would, wouldn't maybe have a full meal. I'd go sit at the bar and I'd have an appetizer. But I would just put myself in the environments of what it felt like to feel wealthy. Whatever could make me feel wealthy, I put myself into that state of. So maybe it was tipping extra, even when I didn't have a lot, because the wealthy version of me, that's what she would do. Maybe it was buying someone's drink in the Starbucks drive-thru, because that's what my wealthy self would do. You know, giving is showing that I know more is coming. Instead of holding on to the little bit that I did have,

I was living in the excitement of more. And I found everything to be, plus in my life instead of looking what was missing because I knew that if I had an abundance mindset, I would attract more. So instead of looking at my bank account and laughing at it, I took screenshots of it and I said, okay, I know this is going to be part of the big story that I'm going to tell later on and let me just use this as a stepping stone. This is really hard for most people because they always look for what's missing. And I look at the cup not half full or half empty. I look at it as overflowing. So how many things in my life can I be grateful for in a day? And I know people talk about gratitude, but I practice it every single day because you can't be in lack when you're in gratitude. So what can you be happy for? You woke up today. You have a cell phone in your hand that probably cost $1,000. You know, I mean, issues. And then I started believing that money was always there to support me. And that shifted me into not looking at my reality saying, well, girl, looks your bank account. Like this is bad. Instead of being like, well, look at all the other things that I do have. Look at this. things that are coming into my space that I can be so grateful for. It's kind of like a healthy

delusional state of being. It really is. I knew what wealth was like before, but I didn't know how it was without someone taking care of me. And so either my mother or, you know, or my ex-husband, and I wanted to create it on my own. So I knew it existed. I just had to tap it. And then I would look at what other women had. And instead of being jealous of them, I would go, oh, she can. can. And they just inspired me and showed me that there was another way. Like a woman I would follow, she had Cartier on her wrist. And I was like, oh, one day that's going to be me. And so guess what? I have a Cartier in my wrist. I saw another one driving a G-Wagon. And I was like, oh, I'm going to have one of those. I have that now. Oh, I want a Rolex. Or I want my kids to fly first class.

You know, I just started implanting the belief that it was there for me instead of being in the envy or jealousy of like or the poor me version of me because that wasn't going to get me anywhere. This podcast is sponsored by Bobby Brown Cosmetics. So Bobby Brown Cosmetics is known for their complexion products and their new weightless skin foundation is truly elite. They basically turn non-foundation wearers like myself into foundation wearers. The weightless skin foundation has been five years in the making and the Bobby Brown team tested on over 7,000 faces to perfect the formula. and perfect the color range to deliver on what women seek out most in a foundation. And the result is your best skin, not makeup. So I absolutely love this because I am not really a makeup girly. I have been doing more or less the same routine for years and years day and night. I don't like to feel like I'm wearing makeup.

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And to be totally honest, I have been feeling really overwhelmed lately with work and feeling like I have zero time to prioritize myself. But when I feel like I have no time for myself, I have some non-negotiables. And one of those non-negotiables is therapy. When I feel like I don't have the time, that's when I know that I need to make the time to fit it in. So I have been in therapy off and on for my entire life, but I've really benefited from it, especially in the last 10 years since I have been. sober. And a misconception about therapy is that it's only for when there are major traumas or major challenges. Of course, it's helpful for that. But I feel like some of the times that I've benefited most from therapy is when things are going really well. And I really want to lean into

positive coping skills and boundaries. And I feel really empowered to be the best version of myself. Something that I'm working on right now in therapy is having boundaries, especially around work and preservation of self versus preservation of work. And I've had so many breakthroughs. I cannot recommend therapy enough. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch

therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip Therapy Day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com. files today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelphelp.com slash files. I also know that you've talked about how for men, being wealthy is like the pinnacle of success. But for women, being wealthy, you're seen as a gold digger. You're seen as cold. Like it's, it has a negative connotation with women, whereas with men, it's such a positive thing. So let's peel that back a little bit.

Yeah, you know, men get together. They talk about their stocks and they talk about their trades and they talk about money all the time. Yeah. But if we do, it's like, okay, well, are you taking care of your kids? Like, what are you doing right now? You know, so that's why, you know, I came up with this term and I named my podcast after, but unapologetically rich. Because I believe that we all get to be unapologetically rich.

And for most women, they are going after the money because they need it or it's validating something that's not full inside of them because we go back to the masculine conversation. A lot of women that are highly successful, what comes with it is the need for validation. So it really fuels their success and their achievement. And it's never enough. So it's like, I need more. I need more. I need more.

And even when they hit a million, they're like, okay, that's not good enough. I need to keep going. And so when they learn to find that fulfillment inside of themselves, which I believe is that feminine energy that comes in, the knowingness, they're like, what's my, what's my, it's my purpose in this life, how do I feel completely fulfilled, then things will change for them on how they do things. And for men, you know, they are providers. So inherently they want to make money to take care of whoever. But for us, it's like, well, you should be wanting to have babies and stay home and you shouldn't be out there being successful. So I think women can be successful,

can be soft, can be powerful, and still have it all. There is deeper work to go in. Like, why do you want the money? Why do you want the success? You know, before I used to do the do have be. And it's supposed to be, you know, if you've heard of the saying, it's be, do have. You've got to, that's what self-development is all about. You know, like you've got to be the person, you know, be, do have, and then do the thing, and then you can have the success or have whatever. But for me, my old self, the unawaken version of me, I would go out there to achieve the whatever the success, the material thing, the degree, and then it will make me feel like I'm important. Then it would make me feel like I've had success and achievement. But that never ever sticks and it never fulfills.

So that is wealth is finding what is inside of yourself that makes you feel so authentically who you are without having to change, you know, how you be. Yeah. And you've said like everybody can be wealthy, right? And is that more about your mindset than what's in the bank account or is it both? 100. I feel like wealth is a state of being. Like you just told me you were 39. That kind of blew me away, right? And I mean, is that not something people are seeking? I mean, some people are paying endless amounts of money to have that beauty and to get time back. And so wouldn't that be wealth? And money sometimes can't buy that. I feel like I've mastered my emotions. And it took a really long time because I was, we don't have time to get on that.

But I was in a place where my trauma was leading my life. And I feel like I'm aging backwards now because I've healed. Healed. I can say that now. It took me over a decade to heal that. And so I feel like that's my wealth. That's my power. I can walk into any room or go anywhere and I'm okay with being myself. I don't have to wear a mask anymore. That's money to me. If somebody is listening to this and they are like, I don't have

the money in the bank account. I have 11-11 or not even overdrawn and debt. And I don't feel like I have beauty or health or any kind of superpower. What advice do you have for them? Start with the superpowers you have now. Because if you don't start with that, then you're not going to see how great you are. because I think everybody has something that can be appreciative of life. But if you are always seeing the negative or what's missing, then start working on your healing. I would read out a list of what scarcity thoughts you have and be real with yourself. Like, are you judgmental towards other people? Are you jealous?

Are you the first person to say something negative? Do you feel like rich people are bad? Do you feel like it's impossible for me? Write them all down and witness those belief systems. and then try and turn them around and see if you can have a new thought. And if you can't do it on your own, then borrow a thought from someone else because if someone might be similar to you, like look what they could do. That's what I had to do. Because it could literally look at the divorce, which was so shameful at the time. And, you know, lots of judgment came to me because we were like the couple everybody thought was the one that was going to make it. You know, we were the power couple and what they got divorced, you know? And so I had to really not having a ring on my finger anymore. There was a lot of things that went with it, you know, like I failed. But I'm so grateful. My kids all the time say to me it's like so happy that you did because look where you are. So find where the things are in your life that might be looking like they are not the most positive right now, but find the gem in them. I feel like once I was able to rewire my belief systems like that to find the good

and everything, and even if at the moment you might not be able to, you will find there's so many lessons and richness and wisdom and things that are going to take you to that next level. Even when you don't have the money in the bank account, like for me, I saw the 1111. I screenshot it. because I got excited about it. It changed my state of being. And so then it worked on my emotional state. And when your emotional state can be in alignment with the having of more or whatever you want to create, you're going to attract that into your life. But if you're looking at what's wrong and what's missing, you're going to have a, you know, like a crater hit it, like a big, big hole. And if you have emotions, this is the first thing I would, I would, you know, anybody, like, if you have emotions

that are unsettled in you, they create dis-ease in the body. and disease turns into disease. And if you are letting those things run rampant, they're creating thoughts that are sabotaging you and not allowing you to go live your dream life or have the things that you want. And so my whole goal was, I'm going to get this stuff out of the way. Like when I got separated, instead of going out and doing how my girlfriends were doing, which was dating, and I mean, I had a moment we all had that little fun. You know, it lasted a very short period of time. I realized I had to go to monk mode and figure out why did my marriage fail? Like, why, what happened? And when I realized that it was both of us, it was me too, you know, it wasn't just the marriage.

Marriages don't just break down. It's because of something that's happened within us. I went and worked on myself and I worked on myself and I worked on myself. And I realized that all of the society things that were creating the lens that I was looking through, my past experiences, you know, that was what was stopping me from having everything. So if I could go master my emotions, heal through the stuff, then I would have whatever I wanted. So I became self-accountable and no longer a victim because when you're a victim, you're going to, I mean, this is not saying you can't be victimized, but when I no longer was

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the code blonde to get 15% off. That's T-R-M-R-A-com slash blonde. Yeah, I want to talk about that. So maybe get into that. a little bit more. I would love to hear that. And I know that you've said, like, making money is not even about the money, right? No. So how are those things linked? So a lot of the times success is driven, I believe, for people because it makes them feel a certain way. Anything is to make us feel a certain way, right? So let me have this Lamborghini. It's going to make me feel what?

Let me have, you know, the young looking face is going to make me feel this. You know, I was a bodybuilder for so many years. And it was supposed to bring me a feeling of control over my life. It was grounding me. It was make me feel strong, you know, that I could protect myself. And whatever it is, is the feeling of having it. So what do you want to feel? And most people can't identify with what they want to feel because they're so disassociated from their emotions, because they've learned to self-regulate in a disregulated system, you know, and once we learn to really work on regulating our nervous system, we don't have triggers anymore because our triggers can literally control everything we do in our life. We'll go and create what we want instead of going

after money to fulfill us in a negative way like that was I was telling you the have do-be. We'll go and create money for whatever it is, the experience we want to have. It'll come from a different place. So just to get clear on it, I feel like if we learn how to determine what we truly desire, not because it's what a goal we want to check off our to-do list, because most women who are in their masculine, and I have a lot of clients that are doctors and lawyers and engineers and they're all very, like their high performers are success driven. They think that it's a thing that I have to go do. And I'm always wanting to explain to them. It's when you're being. And if you can be in that state, then you're listening and tapping into the truth of who you are,

those emotions. They will dictate how much money you have or what wealth you want to create. I mean, is a private jet going to make you feel full? I mean, This is why people have so much success, but they're taking their own lives because they don't have that peace. I had a breakdown moment on a yoga mat like 11 years ago. And I realized that my life had to change because I had all the things you were supposed to have. And what they told you were supposed to have the checklist, the kids, the husband, the businesses, the life. And I realized that like I was unfulfilled still. Like something was missing deep inside of me.

And I've been searching for that for a decade. and I found it. And I'm so fulfilled. So that to me, when you have fulfillment, you then will have power over other things in your life. And men don't get that because they don't allow themselves, not all men, majority of men,

because they're not taught that their emotions mean anything. Like none of us, who grew up where someone said, hey, you know, tell me how you're feeling. Yeah. It's like how fast can go do it. Yeah. Can you be, you know, like big girls don't cry. Like how, you know, let's see what you can do, right?

We were told to achieve, achieve, achieve, and do. But we weren't told to. be and feel and that's power. Such an interesting shift. And even as you're talking, I'm like, what do I want to feel? I don't know, because I still think about goals and objectives and more like tangible things and not how do I want this to make me feel. And to rewind a little bit, I mean, I've talked about this before on the podcast,

but I also had that moment when I was like in my marriage and this is nothing against him and, you know, anything like that. But it was the private jets and the multiple houses everywhere and that whole lifestyle. And I shared this when we got divorced. But like I would wake up at 4 in the morning. And my first thought was I hate my life. And then my second thought is, what is wrong with you? You have everything. You should be grateful. You know, the pouring the shame on top of that. You too. Yeah. Of course. I was like, what's next? Yeah. What else? I feel like I created all the success. And there was like it was a colander. It was just pouring right through. like nothing was collecting for me to go, oh, this is what, like, this feels so good. I feel satiated. I feel full. And that's when I realize why so many successful women and men don't ever celebrate anything, really. It's like, they have a birthday just to have the birthday, but they don't really celebrate or, you know, look how far I've come. It's like, look how far I have to go. And to me, I celebrate everything, everything. And my kids and my team and celebration to me is like a form of

gratitude. Like, look how great I can feel. And if I died a moral, what did I leave today? Like, I don't want to be leaving this lifetime, not feeling full. And it was missing that fulfillment. And when we get out of the head and we get, and this is where spiritual awakening comes in for yourself, which happened to me. And I went on, we don't have a lot of time for that. But I realized that my soul was speaking to me all the time. I just wasn't listening. And things couldn't fulfill that like my spiritual teachings had to do that like finding out why I was here what was my meaning what was my purpose and so many people who reach a pinnacle of success are still searching for that because they haven't stopped to figure out like who am I and why am I here is there like a simple way

I know that you know this can take years and I've also been on the spiritual path in my recovery yeah for a decade and it's like on some level I know that the are the things that fulfill me. And yet, I still strive and I think that you can do both. But if somebody feels like, you know, they are that colander and they're just not experiencing anything. And I think that is totally normal, right? It's like the goal post keeps moving. We achieve one thing. And then it's like, it's not enough or it's on to the next. And we're constantly on that hamster wheel. How can we slow down or pause or feel that or enjoy that. Like how do you celebrate everything? And what does that look like? I mean, how do you experience that? I would find out why it doesn't feel like enough.

So one of my core wounds was unworthiness. It was something that drove me. And it's actually probably most high achieving people's thing that, you know, drives them. I do believe we have three core wounds, unworthiness, betrayal, and abandonment. And one of those are sometimes driving, and it's our unhealed little self sometimes that's at the steering wheel. Now, if we can find out which one, or maybe all, are affecting our growth or a feeling of I'm enough, then we'll change the narrative of how we do things. You know, we'll stop getting into toxic relationships. We'll start attracting the right clients. We'll have better relationship with other people, and including ourselves. And so when I figured out that I was worthy of all the things,

in life. My standards raised on what I could achieve. So fulfillment started coming in. You know, I can look at someone's bank account right now or their business and I can see how much money they're making and I can tell you what core wounds actually playing out in their lives. I can look at their relationships and see what toxic patterning is repeated over and over again. I can see people who are successful and I can see what their money mindset is coming from one of these core wounds. So it's a driver because it's never enough, right? And let's say that, that you've had some betrayal. If you can figure it out and where it is,

what the point of entry it came into because it got compounded over the years, then you can decide. And sometimes it's a betrayal of herself. Or it could be your father or your mother or somebody or a friend. When you can find that, you're like, okay, well, I know that not everything is going to betray me. I can actually feel happy with this thing that I have now.

Because it's the fear of disappointment that we're trying to guard ourselves against. Like, I don't want to be disappointed. I don't want to let town because we don't know how to regulate our emotions. So I don't want to feel sad over this. I'm going to try and plan the entire thing out so I don't have any level of disappointment. But imagine if you could be like, I just walked down today, walked down the street. I went and had the most amazing tea. I did this. I did this. And it wasn't actually a planned day. And it was actually one of the best days in my life. Like I leave life open for chance. I stopped planning everything. I have a saying in my business called Messi makes me millions. I stopped trying to control. I gave up perfectionism because it's like a scarce. mindset and I decided whatever was going to happen with a plan in some place but whatever is going to happen I'm going to just go with the flow and enjoy every single moment and be supported being open to receiving with the universe God whoever you identify with is going to come my way

and my life changes so that's richness to me before I couldn't even fathom that every detail of my life had to be like organized but the more that I opened up I lifted the limits in the ceiling of what success looked like for me I'm sure everybody listening has heard about the benefits of taking fish oil. Maybe you have been told by a healthcare practitioner to take it, but oftentimes omega-3 fish oil supplements go bad before they even leave the bottle, resulting in supplements that really don't do much for your health. So this is why I switched to fatty 15. Fatty 15 contains C-15, which is the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in 90 years and studies have even confirmed that it's three times better, broader, and safer than

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What did it look like when you started making money? A lot of my belief systems started popping up because I had I had more money to do things. So every time I started using money, it was like, oh, okay, shoot. You know, I started seeing where hiring a team, like, you know, having support, I realized that I couldn't, I had a hard time letting people help me because I was so in that wounded masculine state that most women that I work with are, you know, control free, having things to be perfect. And I had to like let go and delegate and not micromanage everybody and really just allow someone to come and support me because being vulnerable was so hard and letting anybody be in my space and it just felt like it was it was a weakness you know

and so having money and using it the right way in my opinion was was amazing so another thing that I would tell you that I started seeing that the more that I made the more things I could do and the greater the the vision could come. But I also saw that some fears came up. Like if I kept, if I made too much, like what this all could go away right now, you know, and what will happen then? And then I had to rewire my, my thoughts of like, you had nothing at one point, remember? So you know more is coming. So you have to start believing into the more. And being okay with the ebbs and flows of how money came into my life made me realize that I didn't have to strangle it and hold on to it so tightly that if I could find more safety in the movement of it, I regulated my nervous system

not to feel so so much fear around where would it go. I feel like now I've shown other people what's possible. Like money's just an energy. It's just a piece of paper. And it's never about the piece of paper. It's always about what that piece of paper, who provided it to you first, made you feel about the piece of paper. Like when women have good relationships with their, with their fathers, I already know they know how to make money. I already know. I already know that they feel safe. So they don't have to worry about it. Usually the toxic guys, you know, that have, you know, the type I'm talking about. We've all been there and dated that. Yeah. They look good. They have abs. Nothing against abs.

You know, so anyway, so with those ones, they have a strange relationship with their mothers. They weren't nurtured correctly. And so they always have like that one hit wonder of how they're going to make money and da-da-da, but they just don't know how to feel. The money's never enough to fulfill them. And so you see the patternings. It's so easy. Like I see it like I see black and white.

Like it's so easy for me. Where does somebody who might be listening to this who is a stay-at-home mom or somebody who is not a mom, but they're in a relationship and the man is the provider. Like, where do they fit into this conversation if they're like, well, I don't want to be the person to make money. I don't know if they do fit in this conversation. Well, all money is money. So if someone's providing for you, accept it and receive it. It's whatever meaning you assign to it. If you want to go make your own money, make your own money. If you want to stay at home and have them take care of you, then do that. Don't judge yourself or whatever it is. Like, I feel there's so much judgment that goes around how

money comes into our lives. Find out what your relationship is with money and what do you want it to be. So when I was receiving for like a couple of years, alimony for my ex-husband, in my state, I can get it for life. And I only asked for, you know, we only agreed. It was a contract. So I only got it for a couple of years. But it was perfect because it helped me get where I needed to be. But I felt like a lot of guilt at first receiving it. But I was like, I actually was a partner in this relationship with two kids. It's okay for me to receive this. And once I rewired that all money is money, and I didn't look at it like, a shameful place. It was okay. So if she's at home listening, if you have a big dream inside of you and it's unfulfilled, that would be the question I would ask yourself. Is there a purpose that

you came here to do? Is there a book that you wanted to write? Maybe you wanted to go out and start a podcast. Is there something message you want to share with the world? Start there. Where's that wealth factor that you want to add to the world in abundance? You know, and if you want to stay at home, go do it. I just felt like when I hit rock bottom and I hit the place, then I knew what it was made of. Then I knew what I could bring to society. Then I had to find out who am I and what am I going to how am I going to change the world? Because then then it was like it's go time because there was no time for me to sit at home and be in this very neutral complacent state where I was comfortable, you know? Now it's like I had to get super uncomfortable to find out. So if you like being uncomfortable where you are,

then keep doing it. If you want to be uncomfortable, then do something else. Has your mindset evolved from when you did hit rock bottom, but you did believe that it was. was going to come to now. They have created such a beautiful connection with the belief system and the frequency and the energetics around what wealth and money is. It comes to me. So I think that's like the top part. Like when you can get to a place where having it or not having it, you're going to be okay.

That to me is complete power over the situation. So what do you do? You find out where the belief systems are that are stopping you from believing that you can have that neutrality when it comes to. not having the fear of or the fear of it going away. I never chase money. I never ask for more money. I just want to live my life the way I want as big as I can envision it. And that to me is like when you're, that's connected to your soul self. Then you start energetically connecting to that. And that's when the wealth comes in. Like my brother's a doctor. He thinks completely different.

He's very linear. And I don't know. I think it's because they graduate medical school with like a lot of debt. They already have that scarcity mindset. But when you can start shifting over into the possibility, anything's possible. It's so interesting because it's so like contrary to what we've been taught, which is don't live beyond your means, right? Be protective about your money. Sensible. Sensible, exactly. Sensible. Yes. Be sensible. Yeah, and this is like the opposite. Don't waste your money. Yeah. My mother used to tell me that. When I started making money, my mom goes, don't waste it. I said, Mom, please don't ever tell me that ever again because that was a mindset where you came from. I go, money cannot be wasted. I go, it's just an energy. It gets renewed. I'm not telling people to go out there and just like

credit card and dooddy out drive, chinging it all up in the place, you know, like you have, but start small because the universe doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's not. It's your subconscious mind that's programming you to believe the possibility and what could happen for you. You obviously could manifest a life that you wanted because look what you, I mean, look what you created as well. You know what I think? Because you didn't have the belief that it wasn't there. And so then it became a reality because I started. So what I would tell people to do, is go energetic shopping, but then maybe set a budget for yourself. Maybe start with like $20 or $100. And you go buy the thing that you want. Do you know how satisfying that will feel? Like, because you're not just buying it because, oh, I need it.

Or you're not just buying it because it's a good deal. And then that creates the abundance feeling. That creates the attractor of more. That creates, you know, in the universe saying, give her more. Because look how happy she is with what she's got. I preach, go get the latte. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that's my wealthy woman move every single day I do. because there was a time in place where that actually triggered me buying that. But now I know if I satisfy myself with that one little thing, which is just a couple dollars, less than $5 and it can make me feel wealthy, go do it. Why would you sacrifice? I'm not the first person to tell you to cut that out. In fact, I'm telling you keep that. Because so you save $5 or whatever over a month and you've saved that money. Like that, like the Dave Ramsey lifestyle, it's like scarcity. Like let's remove all the things that make you happy so you can live with less where I'm like, let's put her hands out and let's get more. Like, how can you attract more wealth and make more money and have more come into your space? And the only way more is going to come is if you are the attractor for more. I said a declaration of my journaling every single day. I teach everybody to do this is when you write out what would your dream life basically look like without any limits. Put the things that you want. So every time you pick up your phone and you're looking at it, your subconscious is getting a program. Like, that's the life that I'm actually creating for myself. I had this crazy experience this past week. I was traveling and I made a vision board.

in either end of December or beginning of January right before I got divorced. I knew I was getting divorced. Oh, this is recent. Yeah. And I made a vision board just on my Pinterest of like what I wanted my life to look like to remind myself of like that it was not my reality anymore because sometimes I would be like, well, I'm comfortable and this and all the reasons why like maybe I would stay. And I was traveling this past week with the boyfriend.

And we were on Martha's Vineyard and I took a picture. And two days later, I hadn't looked at my vision board in a while. And I was like, oh, I want to look back because I remembered. Like, I had all these things of, like, being on the East Coast, it's where I grew up. And I looked and I had pinned the exact picture that I took. Like, the exact photo I took as the one that I pinned. Like, it was so crazy. And people were like, well, that's just because you went on vacation.

I'm like, no. Yeah. No. No. Wayne Dyer says there's no coincidence. Yeah. There's no coincidence. You created your reality.

It was wild. And then there was another one because we were. in Capri a few weeks ago. Same picture that I had pinned back then. And it's like, yeah, you could look at it from that mindset. And that's what a cynical person probably in a scarcity mindset would do. Oh, okay, big deal, you went on vacation. It's like, no, it's so much, it's so far beyond that. It's not just the vacations. It's like this whole reality. So imagine if you came, you took that thought like even further. I always say ride the wave of it. Imagine if you believed all the time, you create your reality. Every single moment of the day, you'd be creating a reality.

then you'd be like, okay, I have the control to feel what I want to feel in any situation. If I want to be upset right now, I can be upset, and then I can let it pass, and then it doesn't have power over me. You get to go create, like, next week I want to go here. And then so you did that. You started imprinting that belief system that you were going to go there, and bam, you did. So I feel like we all started doing that. And that means it gives us the power to have what we want. Like, I will tell my clients, how much money do you want to make per month?

You know, let's say $50, $100,000 or whatever it is. I'm like, all right, so what would it feel like? what would you do with that money? And then start telling the universe or whatnot, where the money would go. Oh, I would do this with it. I would do this with it. I mean, you can't just all save it. What are you saving it for? You know, like you would hire somebody, go enjoy your money. And so when they start doing that and have that connection to it, of course more comes. Because you've lifted the reins off of what the possibility of more wealth can look like in your life. I mean, you already have a boyfriend. I got to work on some stuff here. We need another show for that. Happen a lot faster than I thought it would. But that's so, but you probably were manifesting that, you know, having that person in your life, you know. Yeah, I wrote my ideal. My ex and I separated in 2022 for six months. And I had like, I wrote an ideal partner, literally everything down to like very weird specific things. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I mean, I was telling my team member earlier, I'm like, every man I ever wanted once I see him, I always get. And I think it's just like, if you have the belief, I always get what I want, it's so much more powerful than the poor me of like, oh, it says for everybody else. That's not fair.

or, you know, and I feel like that unfairness thing makes people believe they can't have what they want. But you already have the belief. I get what I want. Right? I always say like I've always been kind of delulu. I don't know. I am too. But it's worked out so far. Yeah. You have to be delulu because if you live in reality, you've already manifested this. This is your outcome. If you look around you, you created this. But if you don't like what you see, then have a different thought and it creates something else. You know, if your bank account doesn't look great. Like my bank account with a life support. If you saw it now, I went to the bank to get some money to go to Europe. And they're like, oh, you're like the premier blah, blah, blah, platinum. And they were falling all over me at the bank.

They're like, it's amazing. I mean, to think in just a short period of time by changing the way I think and feel about money, healing myself, I opened up so many more doors of what life could look at. And I'm aging backwards. Yeah, you are. I don't have Botox in my face. I don't have no fillers. I have Nothing. The 26-year-olds think that I'm younger. I mean, they have no business talking to me, though. No, you really do. You really do. So powerful. Tell everybody where they can find you and listen to your podcast and work with you and all of that. Oh, my goodness. We have a podcast called Unapologetically Rich, and you should go take a, you know, listen there, women and men to listen to it. So many great topics, by the way. I'm so happy to hear. We just started up on YouTube and I've got a lot of great videos on YouTube, which is amazing. And I've got a book called Unlocking the Quantum Woman. And this book, actually men have been reading it too, which is amazing. And I've got a copy for you. And this book, it's going to help you really start getting into the mindset and the emotional

state to go create your reality and change your relationship with money and the things that you want to do. I take you through the journey and the story. And I'm telling you, every person that's read this book, said it's life changing. I wanted it to be a book that you read and you gave to someone else. Also, come follow me on Instagram, Shemina Taylor, and you can go join our Facebook group called the Quantum Woman. And we've got tons of freebies, tons of stuff. I love supporting the community and growing into a richer mindset because you get to be unapologetically rich.

Amazing. And we will link everything in show notes. And thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me. I hope you enjoyed that episode. And if you liked it, and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate review and subscribe. It goes a long way. And it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to the Blonde Files podcast on Instagram. You can go to ArialLory.com. And I'm always posting about each episode over on my personal page at Arial Lori. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.