Well with Arielle Lorre - 374: Age Gap Relationships, Breaking Up with Botox and Why Balance Isn’t Attainable with Valeria Lipovetzky
Episode Date: February 12, 2025Valeria Lipovetzky is an entrepreneur, content creator and host of the hit podcast, Not Alone. She joins the show to discuss the creator industry, how to have boundaries with social media, lo...ngevity in the digital space and the myth of balance. We also talk the challenges and benefits of age gap relationships, getting comfortable with aging, our experiences stopping botox and favorite beauty procedures.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Visit opositiv.com/blonde for 25% off your first order.Go to tryarmra.com/WELL for 15% off your first order.Go to mollyssuds.com/BLONDE and enter code BLONDE for 20% off!Visit supp.co/BLONDE for 100% FREE access.Go to www.YNAB.com/well for an exclusive three-month free trial with no credit card required.Visit purelyelizabeth.com and use code WELL for 20% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The following podcast is a dear media production.
In a world of ever-changing,
wellness trends and information, what does it mean to truly be well? I'm Ariel Lorry and I'm going
to explore this with you. I am bringing you candid conversations that will equip you with everything
you need to live your best life and look good doing it. Think of well as your go-to resource for all of the
latest in wellness and me as your internet bestie. Well, let's get into it. Hi, everybody. Welcome
to the show. I have such a great episode.
you today. When I teased this interview back in December when I recorded it, so many people were
really excited about my guest, including myself. So I'm talking to Valeria Lipovetsky. You may know her
from her huge following online or from her amazing podcast, Not Alone, or as one of the founders
of the creator method, along with her husband, Gary. She is a model-turned entrepreneur. She's a mother of
three and she has a really fascinating story of how she got to where she is today. So we are
talking about that, including talking about her relationship. She and her husband have an 18 year
age difference, which I know a lot of people like to talk about when they talk to either Valeria or
Gary or both of them. I personally think it's one of the least interesting things about her,
but having been in a large age gap relationship when I was married,
I found it really interesting to talk to her and share our perspective, having both been through
that experience. Obviously, her relationship is really working for her, whereas mine did not.
But I think that you guys will find that really interesting. And even though the age difference
might not be relatable, there's a lot of good relationship advice in there. We also talk about
content creation as a business, longevity and content creation, just being in a creative field in
general, how to create a business online and how to also create more mental space. We talk about
the elusive idea of balance. We talk needing solitude, being introverted extroverts. We talk Botox,
of course, beauty and skincare tips, all of the beauty things, in fact, face taping, easy gel.
All of the girly things, we go all over the place in this conversation. And I could have spoken to her
for four more hours. So I know you guys are going to love this episode. Please enjoy Valeria Lipovetsky.
Welcome. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. So excited to have you. I've wanted to have you on for so long. And I just, as I was
saying before, haven't been to Miami in the longest time. So I'm so happy that we could make this work.
Yes, welcome back. Yeah. Thank you. We were already talking before we started rolling and getting into a lot of the good stuff. So we're going to rewind a little bit.
There are so many points of entry, I feel like, with you.
You're such an open book.
And I know that that's what myself and so many people appreciate about you.
And you share not only the triumphs, but the struggles.
And you're so honest.
So I guess I want to start with what are you struggling with right now?
What are you working through?
I feel like we just mention it when we were talking how this week I'm having a social media existential crisis,
which means that I'm questioning how I'm showing up online.
and people that are, you know, like us where this is their business, that's their career, that's how I
actualize myself at work, it takes you kind of like up and down. And so this week has been kind of like,
what am I doing? Who am I? What am I trying to say? Like, where is this going? So I would say that
I'm struggling with that this week at work. And then with the kids, I actually woke up last night at 2 a.m. being like,
they drank this soda the other day and I wonder if it's affecting their brain capacity right now
because one of them was behaving really weird, just like weird mom stuff. That's when I know where I've been
taking too much on and I haven't had a chance to kind of recharge my brain. So that's going on.
And we were talking about that recharging and how in the creative field, any creative field I think,
and in other fields like we are just in this culture of like hustle and grind and especially for
our profession. We're essentially these creative wells and we are expected, I think, to be creative
wells and just have endless creativity flowing out of us. And I find for myself my well runs dry so often.
And I think that a lot of creators, at least people that I've spoken to on the podcast and people that I just know
through work are going through this as well. And I know that people see the highlight reel. But I think that
this started, you said you've been doing it for nine years, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I've been doing it since
2016, so eight years. And I think in the beginning, it was so fun and exciting and it was kind of this
untapped industry. And everybody was racing and racing and racing to like get to some finish line.
And then we're all realizing there is no finish line.
And like, do we have to be racing at this pace on the hamster wheel and producing like every single day?
And I think a lot of people have kind of paused and stepped back.
I agree.
Well, first of all, it's important to mention that it's end of year.
And I feel like with end of year, we're all coming to a point.
I think throughout all honestly careers, we're coming to a point.
We're just like, I'm drained.
I have nothing else to give.
Like, let's wrap it up.
So I won't necessarily put ourselves in like this special place with this career.
But yes, to your point, it is this constant chase after new ideas and after output because that's
our kind of value, the output at the end of the day. And you know, I read this really interesting
quote, I would say a few months ago and I constantly remind myself, it says,
mind full of information doesn't have space for inspiration.
And not only are we are constantly putting things out there,
but we're also consuming all the time in order to ignite that inspiration to create.
So it's literally zero space for any original thought.
Like, I don't know if you ever asked yourself,
when you hear yourself speak or when you produce some kind of a reel or anything,
content in general, do you sometimes ask?
yourself like, is this, are these my words? Is this my idea? Like, because sometimes I'm like,
I don't know if it came from me. Yeah. I mean, nothing is really original anymore in, in the world,
but I honestly sometimes catch myself being like, did I, is that someone else said that? And I just, like,
picked it up and ran with it. And I think that it's me. So there's always this weird, like,
balance that I try to keep to make sure that I don't get swallowed by this beast of a business.
because I do love, like I want longevity in this business. I do love this industry and I see myself
in it for a very long time and I've been doing it for nine years and I'm still figuring out like,
how does that look like for me? How is the future looks like for me? I haven't figured it out yet.
Well, I think that's one of the cool things about this profession is that you can really shape it
and mold it into whatever you want it to be. And we see so many people, creators of all, you know,
audience sizes becoming brands themselves.
And I feel like we are in a fortunate position in that way where it can be like, what do I want to do with this?
Like, do I want to get into product?
I know that you had a fashion line for a while and you talked about how that was like a failure for you, but that you learned from it.
And I loved hearing you talk about that because not many people do.
But like there is so much opportunity.
There is.
And that's why I truly remind myself that this is the best position to be in.
And I'm so grateful for this industry that continues to evolve.
and for honestly the public to continue being invested.
A day doesn't go by without me thinking like someone is spending their precious currency,
which is time, watching, commenting, engaging with my videos.
That's insane to me.
So I truly do very much love what it's been giving me.
And yeah, there's obviously kind of like the heart part, in quotation of all of this.
But I feel like it's with anything that you're passionate about and want to, you know, reach kind of new heights,
you're always going to have the challenges. Yeah. And the biggest, hottest commodity of our time now is attention.
Yes. Well, you know, we started my husband and I, who's my business partner as well, we started an academy for content creators.
And for the longest time, I've been seeing a lot of these like content creator coaches or people that sell you courses and like, this is how you go viral.
And I've realized that this is, first of all, most of the people that sell it are not people that actually build something meaningful with themselves.
So that's already a red flag.
And the other thing, it's again, we're selling this like illusion where to me, like I mentioned before, there is longevity in this business if you do it right.
If you build it to a point of like, you know, I'm going to, I have a strong foundation and I understand that this is like the long term play.
So when we started this academy, I'm like, I want.
want to bring in this mindset to other creators. And not just creators like us where, you know,
we wake up and create every day. This is our business. There's like lawyers, plastic surgeons.
Because like you mentioned, everyone needs a personal brand today. So I wanted to really build like
something that I wish I had when I started because I was under the impression that time is running
out. This is going to go away in every second. And there was this constant feel of dread. And
not really knowing what the direction is.
So now being in this industry and investing so much time effort into this,
like I know that this can be something phenomenal for everybody if you approach it from,
you know, a place of like, let me find my rhythm here, which is what we're still trying
to figure out.
And it changes all the time.
That's what I was just going to say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's always changing.
You know, a holistic kind of approach instead of this rat race.
What do you feel like was your key to success?
Like was there a turning point where you felt like, oh, now like I'm really getting people's attention.
Now I feel like I'm really in the flow of content.
Honestly, the fact that I just kept showing up, like my consistency is what built my success.
I really don't have any other thing to mention my way of storytelling connected with people,
my specific story connected with people.
but it's the fact that I kept showing up because you can have the best story ever.
But if you are not consistently sharing it with the world, people forget about you.
So it's that simple.
Yeah.
That's what I've been struggling with is consistency because like we were talking about before,
you know, I feel like I have these different pillars of my job.
There's the content creation part and like a social media content creation.
Then there's the podcast.
And then I'm also working on something else.
that I haven't shared yet. Yes. And I feel like it's hard for me to distribute myself evenly
across those buckets. And my therapist and I were talking about this in the context of something else,
but I think it applies here too. And he said, the grass is greener where you water it. And I was like,
duh. And he said, but you don't have an infinite amount of water. So sometimes you have to take from other
buckets. So it's like, I'll be really on fire with my TikTok and Instagram, but I'm lacking
in another area, you know?
And then I kind of distribute myself to that area.
And then I feel like I'm behind on the podcast.
And it's so hard to maintain consistency across all platforms at all times.
And the podcast is number one because I have a network and advertisers.
And it's like I have to deliver every week no matter what.
Whereas like the social media channels are just kind of my own thing.
Right.
You have the KPI.
You're the ones deciding what to do with it.
Yes.
But that's also just being an adult.
Like don't you agree?
Like there's so many verticals.
You want to be present and you want to be healthy and you want to be fittest have you've
ever been.
Like you want all these things all the time.
And it's just not possible to have 100% in each of them.
So something's got to give.
That's why I always, you know, throughout the years, the number one question is like,
how do you balance it all?
And I feel like the word balance is so triggering to me because it's not balance.
is work-life integration in a way and is this constant shifting of where the priorities are today
and where they are this week and next week. And so to me, I feel like that awareness and being
brutally honest with myself, where I need to show up and when has been kind of helping me with
not losing my mind. A lot of us are very health conscious when it comes to the food that we're
eating, the movement that we're doing. But then we have a blind spot when it comes to things like
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What are some things that you do to create more space mentally?
Cry. I love it. I love the honesty. I wish I could. Sometimes I feel like I'm so
numb and so burnt out that I can't even like access the emotions. Yeah, sometimes I'll put on the
sad playlist and just like go for it. Yeah. Honestly, crying is it's funny because growing up, I used to cry
all the time. And obviously my surrounding constantly reinforced the idea that crying is a weakness.
So as I got older, I'm just like, I hated that about myself. And now I'm at this point where I'm like,
I welcome it so much because I understand that that's how my body like releases and I'm able to just go through the way of emotion, whatever it is.
So crying to me is the first kind of, you know, line of action.
And then I would say a long time.
And it's hard to get as a mother and like, you know, as a partner and as a career woman and all the things.
But that's something that I demand of myself and others to give me.
I heard you say that solitude is your love language.
And I was like, same.
I mean, I consider myself an extroverted introvert, not meaning that I'm shy, but I'm outgoing
and I like to be around people and like to be social, but I get my energy by being alone.
Like that is where I recharge.
My boyfriend, complete opposite.
I've never seen somebody with such an endless social battery.
And that's how he gets his energy.
And we're completely different in that way.
But we kind of balance each other out a little bit.
bit, I think. I would say it's the same for us. Gary is just, is extremely an extrovert. He
recharges with people and I am the opposite. Yeah, I can't. I'm like, can't relate. Like,
I don't, I cannot even imagine. We were in New York before this and it was endless, endless
social time, which was great. It fills me up in a way, but I hit a wall where it's like,
literally my body is like frazzled, like vibrating and spinning out. And we were flying here
yesterday morning and I said, I need to go, sit on the beach. I don't want to. I don't
want to talk to anybody. I don't want to do anything because he's like, oh, let's go have lunch with
and I'm like, no, I am alone. And then I'm going back to the room and I'm getting room service
and I'm still not talking to anybody. And that's my day. And then I woke up today and I'm like,
okay, I'm good. But the, you know, the implementing those boundaries is so important. It took
me some time. Like, did you ever feel guilty about it? The fact that you do need solitude?
It's something that I used to be ashamed of. Yeah.
So I don't know how much you know of my story, but I was like a hope to die drug addict, alcoholic.
I almost died of drug addiction when I was 28, like very late stage, like seizures all the time in and out of the hospital.
It was really, really bad.
And when I look back, because I've done a lot of reflection around that, it's been 10 and a half years now, I can kind of recognize that I was more introverted, but I felt like I had to be this extroverted bubbly person.
And so in order to do that, I needed to have some kind of external help because that wasn't who I am at my baseline.
And so now, you know, I really like when I got sober, I really embraced who I was.
But I have to be careful because sometimes when I feel like I'm pushing myself too much into that endless social, you know, commitments, things like even work commitments.
Like I can feel like I get to this place of burnout where historically I would be like, okay, I need like a Xanax or whatever.
So it is something that I'm like cognizant of now.
But yeah, I think it was more shame because I felt like I thought that I had to be who I thought people wanted me to be.
I mean, that's like weird, you know.
No, no, I can relate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shame is definitely the emotion I've also felt.
And I'm still, I feel like I'm still working through this understanding of embracing who I am and know how to balance it.
Because, you know, sometimes I catch myself at a place where am I just not pushing myself for kind of
excellence or like for my full potential? Am I using this like as, you know, I need to, I need solitude or I can't do
something because it's my comfort zone. So there's always kind of, you know, is it coming from a real place
or is it coming as an excuse? I'm nodding because I can totally relate. I had those thoughts yesterday where I'm like,
oh, am I just back in my comfort zone?
And you have these adages in your head, right?
Like nothing good happens in your comfort zone.
And then also we see all of our peers and what they're doing.
And it's like, oh, well, this person is like pushing.
And it's hard to kind of unwind that and be like, okay, what is my truth right now?
And it's hard to honor that.
Because again, back to that like grind, producing like hustle kind of culture.
Listen, I feel like being an ambitious person with our personality trait.
It's very hard.
Yeah.
Are you sensitive?
Do you consider yourself sensitive?
You know, it's interesting because I feel like I'm not on the outside.
I'm not.
But I do think I'm very sensitive person.
Yeah.
I think you have to grow thick skin to be in this business.
You're at the receiving end of everybody's opinions and judgments about you and your
relationships and your life choices and what you look like and what you're doing and everything.
And I don't know how it is for you.
I just kind of became numb to it eventually and really understand that like nobody really who's in like a good place is leaving these comments and to remember that. Like I wouldn't want advice from this person. So I don't care about their criticism. Constructive criticism feedback. That's a totally different thing. But I feel like I'm sensitive and not like I'm just sensitive to energy. I'm sensitive to how much I'm exerting myself. I'm sensitive to things like that.
Yeah, same. I actually became numb to online criticism a while back, I would say. And I have once in a while still something will tick me. But that has also been one of my greatest, like, teachers. Because if something triggers me, a person that I have no idea who that is and what they're saying and where they're at in their lives triggers me. That's such shit that I need to deal with. So it's been a great teacher. But yeah, there's a lot of.
crazies online and I've really stopped paying attention. But with personal, more of like between me,
myself and I and those around me that I let people in to my circle, I am sensitive. Yeah, I can totally
relate to that. I want to talk to you about your relationship. Yeah. Because your husband is older.
How long have you guys been married now? We are going to be married for 13 years in July. Yeah.
And I would imagine that some of the criticism that you get around that.
Oh my God.
My ex-husband was older than me.
Yeah.
30 years older than me.
Oh, wow.
That's serious.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm playing baby games here with the 18-year difference.
Yeah, yeah.
But I received probably expected so much judgment about that.
So how did you or how do you navigate that?
I don't know.
I mean, at this point being together for 13 years, having three children.
you know, building businesses together.
I just feel like it's kind of irrelevant.
When I was younger, I mean, I got married at 21.
So back then, it bothered me.
But not to a point where I would question the choice that I made because something
greater than me, like told me that I'm moving in the right direction, that I made the right choice.
So that was very helpful.
But yeah, it kind of triggered me.
But it also, listen, it also fueled my motivation.
I don't know if I would have pushed as hard to find my own thing if it wasn't for all the trophy wife, you know, comments and kind of ideas.
So I'm very appreciative for those.
But I think at this point, I don't know, I was talking to my friends.
I can't imagine being with a man my age.
Same.
Like, I don't even know.
What does that look like?
Yeah.
I think for me, I've always craved being in a partnership that or being beside, you know, a person that,
will want to provide, like, an environment for me to flourish because he so, like, knows who
he is, then that he has the capacity to be, like, go, you know, I'm here.
I love that.
I don't think a man my age could have figured it out.
I always think about it.
Like, what if I, not always.
Gare's going to listen.
It's like, what are you thinking about?
But I sometimes think about, you know, if I, if Gary was my age and we're both in the stage
of life where we figure.
ourselves out. How does that look like together? That must be so hard. Yeah. Yeah, I have no interest
that either. I mean, the 30 year age gap for me was, it was obviously huge. Honestly, I don't know if you
felt this way when you met Gary and you were very young. I know that you said that you felt like
he was kind of healing something for you and you did kind of want that provider, not necessarily
like material provider, but somebody who created exactly what you said, that stability, that
environment, that safety net for you to go out and explore. And that was a beautiful thing that I
had in my marriage as well. But I didn't really feel the age gap initially. Yeah. Everyone else did.
And I know like looking at us because he was so much older, it was, you know, probably kind of jarring.
But he and I met through sobriety and I was a couple years sober. And it was such a huge part of my life.
And I feel like people who have been through that and who are in sobriety and, and, and,
actively practicing recovery, we speak the same language. It was the language of the heart.
So I felt like that kind of eliminated whatever other barriers there were. And we really did
so much together to share a life together to bridge that gap. And then as we both got older,
and I was kind of growing in one direction and he was in another. And we just ultimately came to
the decision that like we couldn't bridge that. That gap became a chasm.
Listen, it's a real concern.
When I came to my mom at 20 being like, I met this guy, he's 38, and this is going to be my husband, she told me right now he's young.
So it looks this way, but it's going to change.
Honestly, he told me also, like we had to sit down and have this conversation.
And, you know, he said, I'm going to do everything in my powers to stay youthful and healthy and all the things.
But life happens.
and you get older.
So that's just something for you to know
and make sure that you are aware of it.
So I really much appreciate
kind of the transparency that we had
in that conversation.
And right now, I feel like he's honestly,
he feels younger than I feel.
So I really appreciate the amount of hard work he puts in.
But I don't know
it's going to look in the future, you know,
and no one knows.
And we talk about it all the time.
I sometimes have people reach out to me and be like,
hey, I'm in this relationship.
with a big age gap.
Like, you know, I love your relationship with Gary.
And this is like a model for me.
And I'm like, this is a lot of things to consider.
Don't look online and be like, oh, this is how it's going to look like.
Because we still have the rest of our lives ahead of us.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Yeah.
So there's definitely its own disadvantages.
But we kind of decided, you know, we deal with those ones they appear.
Together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My grandparents had a 16-year age gap.
and they were like so madly in love until the end and she actually passed away before him
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aging. We were talking face tape before. I was sharing how I have your face taping videos,
your skincare videos saved on my account. Thank you. I need to go back and see what the hell is
on there. Thank you. Yeah, my skin is struggling today because of all the travel. But the face tape,
I saw that you did a video on it. And I'm sure that you got like an overwhelming response. I don't know if
you've noticed this, but I feel like there is such a shift towards more natural modalities,
more embracing aging, but still doing things to make yourself feel good. And look, I'm like,
whatever you want to do. You want to get surgery. You want to get Botox, fillers. Like, do whatever
you need to do that to make you feel good. Like, and I don't get the judgment.
about what other people are doing that makes them feel good, including face tape. I get so much pushback
about that too. Yeah. But how did you arrive at that? And what is your like beauty and aging philosophy?
Listen, I think at the end of the day, it's all kind of trends. And like with anything else,
there's this horseshoe theory, right? We go from one extreme to the other and then we kind of land somewhere
in the middle. I did Botox two, three times. I started when I was 32 when I moved actually to Miami.
I also put fake nails, gel nails.
Like I really came.
I'm like, okay, Miami anize me.
And then I've kind of learned, okay, this is my thing.
This is not my thing.
Like, I don't like this.
With Botox, I just kind of want to see how I, what I can do to support it.
To me, logically, it doesn't make sense to numb a muscle.
Just like I'm going to the gym every day to work out my muscles and my body.
I don't understand.
Like, to me, that's where there's a disconnect.
So I told myself, let me just see what it looks like for me.
I also have thin skin.
Like there's different things that I'm kind of, you know, I'm aware of.
So I'm not committing to be the face tape girly.
I'm just figuring out.
That's why I haven't.
I posted that video.
So many people are like, oh, tell me more.
Do a tutorial.
I'm like, guys, this is like experimentation month one.
I got nothing for you right now.
Don't come for me.
Okay.
I'm not an expert.
So yeah, I'm just kind of working.
through it. Another thing is I really wanted to disconnect from this idea of beauty that we carry. And I think
that the shift is happening because of that. It's been such a exaggerated version of perfection
between the Instagram filters to, you know, the celebrities out there. And I just kind of wanted
to reset what it looks like in my head. So I don't get lost in that because I started to know.
notice that I'm starting to pick
at things that are just
so ridiculously not
important, you know?
And I don't want to
lose that appreciation to
my smile lines,
to like a moving face,
to just expressions. I don't
want to lose that. And I started feeling like I
did. Same. And it
wasn't until I had to stop doing
Botox because of what happened.
That I heard you talk about.
Yes. It was
crazy. I'm still dealing with the health ramifications from that. But it wasn't until it wasn't an
option for me anymore. And I started seeing my own face move. I'm not very expressive to begin with.
I'm not like, but I noticed in other women. I notice in you. Like you can, when you express yourself,
like you can move your forehead. You don't have any lines, but you can move. And I think that's so
beautiful. So I'm sure I have some kind of bias because now like I'm not doing Botox. So then I see it
in other people. But for whatever reason, I'm like, I love.
seeing like a face move. I love seeing like some lines when people smile. And I think that like
there is that shift. I totally agree with you. It's a pendulum and it swings. And everywhere has
their own aesthetic. I would say Miami is kind of similar to L.A. Whereas New York is a little more
constrained. Yeah. When it comes to their approach. But it was like so filled, frozen, all of that for so
long that I feel like people really are kind of embracing, even if they are doing Botox,
they're doing baby Botox where they can still move a little bit. Yeah. And just like embracing our
natural features. Listen, I think we got to a point where so many people look the same that it's,
it's kind of discouraging to exist. So I'm excited to see how it changes. I'm looking forward to
seeing the long-term effects of that.
I mean, now we're hearing cases like yours with the Botox and the implications of it on
your health.
We didn't hear that probably until like, what, two years ago?
And people have been doing Botox for, I mean, you talk to a lot of doctors.
How long has Botops been around?
I should know that answer.
And I don't know.
I mean, it's a lot of information.
But I do know that, I want to say it was maybe 2008 sometime around then, where there was a
petition with hundreds of thousands of signatures that they had to add to the black box
warning that the toxin can spread. And that was all the way back then. And there have been
endless lawsuits and everything and they've, you know, settled and paid people. And you really
don't hear about it. And the more I'm learning about it, the more I'm learning about why.
Because they even say in the commercials that the toxin can spread in the hours, days, and
weeks after injection. For me, it happened right away when I got sick from it.
But a lot of women don't necessarily get sick for another week or even two weeks or three weeks.
And had that happened to me, I don't know that I would have made the connection.
And then when you go to your injector, they say, oh, well, that can't happen.
Or, oh, it's probably something else.
Maybe it's your hormones.
Oh, you're anxious.
And it never gets reported unless somebody goes to the emergency room.
And I have so many, I've gotten thousands of messages from people who have gone through the same thing.
even on a TikTok I made about what happened,
there's thousands of comments of people saying the same thing happened to them.
I saw I read through the comments.
Yeah.
And they go to the ER and the ER says,
no, it can't be the Botox.
And there's like this blindness or refusal to acknowledge that it could be the Botox
when it's exactly what it says can happen on the warning
and on the consents that you sign for.
But only then does it get reported, I think,
if somebody gets treated in the ER, which they rarely do.
So yeah, statistically, the numbers are so incredibly low, but so many of us are out here having had adverse reactions.
And I'm very open about the fact that I'm like not anti-Botox, you know, who knows?
Was it my body, my immune system that just couldn't handle the toxin in addition to all of the other things that I'm exposed to?
And we all have different thresholds and all of that.
But just knowing it and hearing these stories, I mean, to your point, just the connection that you are able to do once.
you know what's out there and what implications can be is extremely important. I was talking about
the idea that I don't have, understand everything is toxins, honestly at this point. I just choose,
I try to choose them in a smart way in an intentional way. And we'll see. I don't know. I'm starting.
It's been about almost a year now that I haven't done Botox. And it's a bit of a, like you start
noticing things. You're like, when shit gets real. Yeah. Shit is getting real.
And I am, to your point, I am very expressive.
Yeah.
So if my skin is like a little dehydrated, I'm like, oh, damn.
I know, I know.
I feel like a shriveled raisin today because when I'm dehydrated, you can see everything.
But when, usually when I come here and it's like humid and everything gets dewy and plump, it's the best.
But that's not happening right now, unfortunately.
But it's hard.
I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say like, oh, face tape is like a panacea and you don't have to do Botox.
And everything will look the exact.
same. Like, no. When I stopped getting it for the first year, I was like, panicking a little bit
about what would happen because I hadn't seen my face without it because I had been doing it for 10
years, like, or nine years from 29-ish till 38. And I don't know, I thought the wheels would fall
off. And they didn't. And then around the year mark, I was like, whoa, this is, okay, things are
happening. Like, it does take a long time for it to fully, fully.
wear off, I think, which is another thing that I think we are maybe misinformed about, like,
this doing it every three months or every three to four months, which is what injectors
recommend to maintain the results. But I think that's another reason why people are maybe
considering alternative modalities, because are we just going to do this three to four months
for the rest of our lives and how much toxin are you then exposing yourself to? And not to mention,
it's expensive. So a lot of people don't have that money to spend on that. I mean, there's so many.
People find the money. I know. There's something that I've learned, you know. Oh my God. When I first got
sober, I was making $800 a week, maybe less than that after taxes. And I was getting Botox and filler
every three to four months. Maybe I was eating as much or something. Yeah, you make it work.
Something had to give. Yeah. But first of all, three to four months, that's insane. I didn't know that that's the
cadence because the doctor there went here when I first got mine. He said like come one once a year
I would come every maybe 10 months. So I started very slow. What pissed me off earlier before I got
it down at 32 is that everybody was like, you don't do Botox. You have to go and do it. It's
preventative. And I'm like, how the fuck is that preventative? I don't understand. And people still
using that language. Yes. Do you follow Charlotte Palermino? No. She
She's the founder of, I think it's pronounced due skin.
She's great on TikTok.
You should follow her for all like the skincare beauty things.
Just like very real talk when it comes to everything.
And she hadn't gotten Botox.
She's 37 or 38, I want to say.
And she finally got Botox for the first time.
And she was like, look, I don't know if I'll do it again.
I don't know like how I feel about it yet.
But I wanted to do it.
And she was like, I never got preventative Botox.
And then I got Botox for the first time.
She showed her before and out.
She had lines before and then she has no lines after. And she's like, preventative is a lie.
That's what I'm saying. It's like it's going to go away. It doesn't matter at what age you do it. I actually
think that it's such a disservice to women. I mean, I understand it's a business and everyone has to make
money, but you will require more of it if you start that young. That's why they tell you to do it
because it's so profitable for them. That's so upsetting. Okay. So tell me what do you do?
I mainly just do skin care.
Okay.
And I...
But when you say skincare, because that's another thing that I'm trying to figure out right now.
There's Sephora skincare and there's like go to your dermatologist's skincare.
Yeah.
So mine is like in between.
So mine is go to my facialist skincare.
But a couple years ago, I randomly got really bad acne, kind of cystic acne around like my lower face, my jaw, my neck.
and I'm sure that it was hormonal.
I was going through a lot of stress.
I was separated at the time.
But she started me on Jan Marini, which not a lot of people know about.
I feel like it's one of those if you know, you know.
Like it's insane.
Everyone that I've started it on just from following me, they're like, this is crazy.
Like their skin has completely changed.
But it's good for adult acne and anti-aging at the same time, which is kind of hard to find
because a lot of acne treatments dry your skin out.
And then that exacerbates wrinkles and that dehydrated look and everything.
thing. So this does everything and it comes in like a system and this is not sponsored. They've never
paid me. They get the freest. They get the best marketing from me like ever because all of my routines.
Yeah. RJ and Marini. But it's a lot of exfoliation to the point where people that watch my skincare routines are like,
how is your face? Like how is your skin still on your face? Yeah. I'm like it's raw. But it's a lot of
exfoliation and a lot of hydration essentially. A lot of actives. And I,
I had really sensitive skin before I started it, and I thought that it was going to, like, burn my face off, but it didn't.
So it's formulated to go together and it just works.
So that's the skincare that I do.
I do play around with some other things.
Claren's double serum.
Oh, I saw you.
The best.
Like, you make it look real good.
Yeah.
I've never tried it before.
They sent it to me because they wanted to work together.
And I was like, I don't know about this.
You know, I'm sure you get so many products.
And I tried it.
And I was like, wow.
And that's like probably my number one most essential ingredient or product that I use.
Yeah.
No, it's like a serum.
I put it on before I moisturize.
And then I lock it in with moisturizer.
So that's the skincare.
And then I do red light not very consistently.
But it does help a lot.
But it's like another one of those things where it's like who has the time, you know?
And then I facetap, I want to say two to three times a week.
usually more like two.
Yeah.
And my understanding, I'm a very, like, very amateur face taper.
So I get it from Natural Face Bible, Olga, who's been on the podcast.
She's amazing.
And if people want real, like, real expert tutorials, go to her page.
But I just do like three strips down the forehead and then like a strip around each eye area,
like on the orbital bone.
And that's it.
When you spoke to Olga, do you understand the science of that?
it because I guess that's where people start questioning the idea of like, okay, so you put a tape on
your, you know, outer layer of your skin. Like, how is that doing anything? So I'm probably going to
butcher this, but there's a few things. So I think it does create a little bit of feedback because
people say, oh, well, like you don't move your face at night. I do. Because if I don't tape,
I wake up. I'm like an eyebrow razor, like surprised look. And some people are furors. I don't have any
of the lines like the 11s because I don't even do that. But I'm a razor. So when you wear the tape,
even though it's very soft and you can still move your face, it creates some kind of feedback to
where like you're not moving your face. So it prevents that movement. That's one. And then the way that
you apply it where like you just gently stretch it over the muscle, it's meant to like improve circulation
there. So there's more blood flow to the area. So it's not just helping the muscle stay still. It's
helping the skin because with more blood flow, you get more repair and all of that.
So that's kind of my understanding of it.
Yeah.
But then there's like more advanced where it's like you're working like along the muscle and like
I haven't gotten to that place yet.
And there's there's applications for TMJ where like you can put it on your masseter
and have it go down your neck and then you can prevent the grinding at night.
People that follow me are like it changed my life when it comes to that.
But I have not done that.
I'm just like the vanity one.
Yeah, same.
I started following probably like 16 accounts.
Yeah.
And I'm just waiting, you know, for it to see it often enough to be like, okay, I'm committed.
Right now I'm like you.
I do the two to three times a week.
And I do also just kind of the forehead.
Yeah.
And pray.
Yeah.
That's really it.
Send up a prayer.
Do you do anything?
I know you're friends with Melissa Wood.
Yeah.
Do you see her story the other night?
No.
Oh my God.
I was dead.
She tagged me in it.
She was like, am I doing this right? She literally like covered her whole face with tape. And I was like,
she's like, it's kind of DIY. I was like, let me know how that goes for you. She had like big patches like
down. You know what? That was my first experiment with it. Because I think that like a lot of people think,
oh, you're just trying to like tape over the areas where you would get wrinkles. And, you know, that's still kind of like how I
approach it with a little bit more understanding. But yeah, I think that like it's just, it's like a
learning curve. There's trial and error and you find what works for you. I also, chest taping is like
a game changer for me. I don't know if you have any lines yet. I mean, it's getting there. I'm a side
sleeper. So I just put like a strip down and completely smooth. And I didn't bring it with me and I have
lines on my chest because I've been sleeping on my side. So that's one where it's like, I think it is as
simple as it's just preventing that like scrunching from happening.
Yeah.
I mean,
Gary's enjoying the new version of me every night.
He's like, oh, what are we doing today?
Yeah.
Is your tape?
Okay, great.
I know.
My boyfriend's like, do you want me to film you?
I'm like, no.
We're doing it for something outside of social media.
This is for the anti-aging protocol.
Do you do any procedures?
Okay, you don't do Botox, but do you go and do any lasers?
Is cultras?
Is it, what is that?
Is it injectable?
Is it injectable?
Is it injectable?
Because I hear there's a lot of conversation around that now.
Yeah.
I have a doctor coming on later who I want to like pick his brain about sculptra.
I think I may have done a little bit a few years ago.
But it's considered to be like more natural because it's kind of building your own
collagen once it's injected.
Whereas like hyluronic filler is something foreign that is creating that volume.
I don't really do either of those.
I have been doing easy gel.
So easy gel is derived from your own blood, kind of like PRP, but different.
So I don't know the exact process of how they do it.
But they draw your blood and then they like spin it down.
They separate like the albumin.
I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right.
And then like the fibrin.
And then they put it in some freezer thing and then they mix it together and it becomes like a gel.
And it's not as thick as a hyluronic acid filler where you're really going to get volume.
You get microvolume from easy jaw.
They inject it.
Yeah.
They inject it.
It's micro, microvolume.
But what happens is it stimulates like growth factors and collagen and all of that over the months.
So the person who did it for me said I would see a difference around six months and I only did it like a couple weeks ago.
So I haven't noticed anything yet.
But I do that.
And then lasers, I do like one fractal a year.
which I have not done this year.
Usually I do it around this time.
And that's it.
Oh my God.
I feel, I mean, I just turned 34 in September.
And I'm like, okay, I got to get with the program.
Like, what is the program?
I don't know.
I think it's different for everybody.
You mentioned that you have thin skin.
I do too.
So I have like thin white girl skin.
Like, that's my genetics.
Which is like good and bad.
I mean, I respond to treatment really well.
I respond to lasers really well.
So I don't know.
I mean, I think that like,
It just depends on what your goals are.
And I'm looking at you and I'm like, you don't need anything.
You know.
Just like a little.
A little juzh.
A little juzh.
A little juzh.
You could do like a little like a clear and brilliant laser.
I feel like that's really good for just texture.
Actually, I've been hearing a lot about the, well, first of all, started microneedaling, which I changed my skin.
I love it.
Yeah.
I haven't done that yet.
Love it.
I need to.
What's the downtime?
Like for real.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
I mean, there's one that's deeper.
I do the deeper one every, I would say, six months, so twice a year.
But otherwise, it's just you read after the treatment the next day, you're good to go.
Oh, amazing.
No, it's amazing.
I don't know why I thought it was like days of downtime.
I keep booking it.
And then I have podcasts on my schedule.
And I'm like, damn.
And I have to cancel.
And honestly, I put tinted sunscreen and like, you're good to go.
Amazing.
What's your skincare routine?
I don't know.
It's like, well, right now.
Because of all, yes, now, once I leave this place, that's going to be my routine.
But I've been doing a lot of, like I told you, started following a lot of like the natural accounts.
So my nighttime thing is that concoction, I'm sure you've seen it, the castor oil.
That's where I'm going with what's working right now.
Not working, but what I'm using.
All over your skin?
All over my skin.
Whoa.
Because it reminded me about castor oil.
I took a spoonful of castor oil to give birth with my third baby.
And I remember, I was just like, wow, this is me.
magic. So all of a sudden, a few months ago, I'm starting seeing all this like castor oil things.
I'm like, okay, it's calling me back on the skin. On the skin. And ingesting it.
I'm not ingesting. I ingested it when I had to give birth. Oh, okay. Got it. It really
cleanses you. Oh, got it. Okay. Yeah, I was wondering about, good thing. Good thing I confirmed
what you meant. Otherwise, I was going to go to Whole Foods and buy castor oil and start drinking it at night.
No. No. No.
not the vibe that we're looking for. Again, I'm not the expert here. So don't take any advice from me.
So just castor oil. Yeah. Okay. And then during the day, I don't know. I'm playing around with different
creams just trying to find kind of my jam. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to find my,
you know. That's great though. Like that exploration is like the fun part, I think. Yeah.
It's a lot of work. Yeah. You're like, I don't have time for skin exploration.
You need someone to be like here, take this and go. Okay. I got it.
you.
I'll be waiting for the links.
Well, what's next for you?
What's next for me?
Well, creator method, which is the academy that we're building, I really want to continue
developing it.
My vision for it is really large and I think that it can be really impactful.
So working on that, continuing building that business and then I'm going to write a book.
I know that I will write a book.
It's right now still like molding in my.
brain. And that's why I need the space to like have space in my brain so I can actually think
about those things. But that's something that came for me and I'm like, okay, I'm ready.
And I don't know, just really learning how to step into this kind of new 34 year old me.
I think I'm still going through that phase of that I'm not a 22 year old anymore. You know,
it's weird. It doesn't change. I'm 39, I can tell you. I'm like 20 in my head.
Right. The fact are you're an adult, but it's like there's a bit of a disconnect in a way in the way I perceive myself and in the kind of credit I give myself. So I feel like I'm in that transition right now. So 39, you're still not? No. I think I'm, I mean, I think I'm about 28 maybe. But every day I have something where I'm like, I'm not old enough to do that. I bought a house earlier this year. And I was like, I am not old enough to buy a house.
Yeah, who is allowing this to happen? Some of the other things that I'm like embarking on in my business. I'm like, you probably feel this way too. I'm like, I am not.
No, in no position to be doing this. Like, you know what? It's a kid.
It's interesting because I sat down with this great woman, Atlanta Cardone, and I sat down with her. Yeah, she's amazing. And she's 51. And she looks like she has her shit together, you know. Everyone says, oh, the 40s is when you like, no.
fuck's given. But I kind of doubted. I have some 40-year-old friends and they're still,
fucks are still given. Yes, for sure. So she was, she was talking about and she's like, you know,
it's only really when I kind of entered my 50s that I started to feel this like easiness about
being who I am and accepting who I am. And it was so refreshing to hear because obviously in our
20s, we try to figure everything out. And then we realized the 30s that like, oh, why did we
in our 20s, but then we still have that pressure in our 30s, like, okay, we're in our 30s.
We need to know what's happening.
And it still obviously happens in the 40s.
So it makes sense to me that you have to at least live half of a lifetime in order to understand
who you are and what you're here to do, you know?
Yeah.
And I think that's really encouraging.
And I hear that as well.
I have a lot of friends that are older, like just from different areas of my life.
Recovery is one of those.
You know, I have friends who are like 90, literally.
It's amazing. There's so much to learn. But also, I feel like almost unanimously, every person that I talk to who is above the age of 50, they all say it gets better as you go. Of course, there are other things that happen. You know, health becomes an issue sometimes and things are unpredictable. But in terms of feeling at home in your body and feeling comfortable in your skin and not caring what other people think, everybody tells me, like, it just gets better at it.
you get older and yet we still have this like deep profound fear of aging well i feel we've been
witnessing this contradiction of like you'll be free and you know at 50 but then i don't know about you
but to me 50 like i remember my grandmother at 60 she was an old lady yeah where today i don't know
if it's miami or not but today i look at 60 year old women and men i'm like oh my god yeah this is
So I feel like now it's coming together where I'm excited to turn 50 because I know I still
be like bawling on life, looking good, feeling good. And now I have this sense of relief about
it and excitement towards it where before it was like, okay, yeah, I'll be wise, but I'll be old
and I won't be able to do the things, you know, that I want to do. So I don't know,
just thought me that I have to be patient. I have to know that everything has a timeline and really
invest honestly in my health physically and emotionally to be able to really enjoy life at 50-60. Like,
that's where my mission has right now. Yeah, I love that. And I think that that is something that
happens to a lot of us in our 30s. I definitely remember like mid-30s and then especially after 35,
like turning 36 and then 37, I was like, wow, this is happening. And I need to find some kind of
acceptance around this. And I think it's a beautiful thing when you get to that place. Because
some of that pressure and some of that self-imposed pressure is alleviated because you're like,
oh, wait, this is happening, but I still have so much time ahead of me and you can do anything.
And it is that marathon, you know, it's like getting off the hamster wheel and thinking about
the big picture and like kind of rearranging, okay, what are my priorities right now and where do
I want to go?
And I don't know.
I think it's like a great place to be.
No, no.
The future looks bright.
I'm telling you.
Yeah.
I see now more women that are in their 50s that are really chic and sexy as a 50-year-old
woman, not as a 50-year-old trying to look like a 20-year-old.
And that's where the magic happens.
So I actually had a conversation.
We're out for dinner and my girlfriend is turning 40.
And she's like, you know what?
I've always kind of feared to move to Miami because a 40-year-old woman in Miami,
it feels like, you know, you kind of expired.
But she said, I am getting so much attention.
attention. Like the kind of attention I've never gotten as a 20 year old. And I'm like, yeah, because you carry yourself in a different way. And the way you dress like a chic, you know, you're not trying to prove or grab someone's attention. There's always going to be the 20 year olds. And there's a crowd for that. But it's like so empowering to be like a woman in her power. Yeah. I know. I totally agree with that. And I love that. I love that for your friend.
Yes. I'm like, and I like, we love that for us. Yes.
Yes, I know. I'm like, I receive. The future does look bright. I'm totally with you. And we'll be taping till where.
Exactly. At that place and looking good. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun. I could keep talking to you probably all day. But tell everybody where they can find you and listen to your amazing podcast.
Thank you. Yes. I have a podcast called Not Alone and it is on all streaming platforms. And you can find me on all the social media platforms at Valeria Lipovic.
Thank you so much. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked the episode,
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