Well with Arielle Lorre - 405: Beauty Secrets, Botox Disasters & Life Beyond Reality TV with Dr. Nicole Martin

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Dr. Nicole Martin is an anesthesiologist, skincare co-founder and former Real Housewife of Miami. She joins me for a candid conversation that blends beauty, wellness, and the realities of life on and off camera. We talk skincare routines, the good and bad of Botox (including preventative treatments and disasters) and emerging trends like exosomes and RF microneedling. Nicole opens up about aging, self-perception, postpartum anxiety, and her fear of flying, as well as the pressures of being a woman in today’s world. We also get into the reality behind reality TV, navigating boundaries, and the ongoing process of finding your identity.This episode is brought to you by YNAB, Armra, Boncharge, Fatty15, OurPlace, Ritual, and JolieClaim an exclusive three-month free trial with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/wellGo to armra.com/well or enter WELL to get 30% off your first subscription order. Go to boncharge.com and use coupon code BLONDE to save 15%.You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/WELL and using code WELL at checkout.Visit fromourplace.com/BLONDE and use code BLONDE for 10% off sitewide. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BLONDEJolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to jolieskinco.com/WELL to try it out fir yourself with FREE shipping.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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stay for the honesty, and leave with the tools to be well, inside and out. Hi, everybody. Welcome to this show. I have such a great episode for you today. I just adore my guest, and I have to admit, we recorded this months ago. Actually, it was the beginning of the year. So I can't believe I'm just putting it out now and I listened back to it to get familiar with the episode again. And I really just love this conversation so much. I think you guys are going to relate to a lot of it. So my guest is Dr. Nicole Martin. She is a former real housewife of Miami. She's an anesthesiologist. And she is also the co-founder of the skincare company exosuticals. She gave me this lip bomb when we recorded this. And it is amazing, I have to say. So in this, in this, episode, we are all over the place talking all things, skin and beauty, Botox disasters. We talk the pressures of being a woman and aging when you are both public facing and in private. She is really candid about her experience with postpartum anxiety. We talk anxieties that we develop at this stage in life. We talk about fear of flying and I share how I overcame that. It's actually

something that a lot of people ask me about because I think it's more common as you get into your 30s and 40s. We talk finding our identities and so much more. It's such a fun episode. I know you guys are going to absolutely love it. So please enjoy Dr. Nicole Martin. Welcome Nicole. Hi. Hi. I'm excited to be here. I'm excited to have you here. I noticed that you followed me online. I think that's how I first made this connection. And I think you liked one of my videos. Your glass skincare routine that got me. And I was like, oh my God, I love her. And so I've been really excited to talk to you.

Thank you. And I, yeah, I really want to talk to you about all the skincare things. Your skin is bananas and you have your own skincare line now. I work on a lot. Yeah. It's a project. I think that's what people don't realize. Yeah.

That it's like consistent effort to. Yeah. It really is. I mean, you have a 15 steps. I know. I'm working on cutting that down a little bit. Although I was just talking. talking to Valeria about this, I find that that part of my day or my night is like my me time. It's

my self-suthing time. I don't have kids. So I can spend that extra time. Although I think there's a little bit of a misconception that like the more steps, the longer. Like for me, I have it down. I always say to my boyfriend. I'm like seven minutes. Like I'll be in there in seven minutes to watch this show. And I can do it. Like, you know, but yes, it is a commitment. But it looks great. Thank you. Thank you. What are your skincare foundational things right now? So I'm a double cleanser. So after a double cleansing, I need a hyaluronic acid serum because they do have dry skin. And I feel like the hyaluronic acid serum really helps to hydrate. And then if it's daytime, I'll also add a vitamin C serum just for antioxidant purposes. Although I know now you're doing it twice a day. Mm-hmm. Vitamin C at night. Game changer. I heard. I haven't gotten there yet. I'm still just a daytime vitamin C year. And then a good facial moisturizer during the day. sunscreen and found out of a tinted SPF. And then what about nighttime? Nighttime? I definitely want something

a little like thicker, more emolion just because I do have dry skin. Like I said, I don't do vitamin C at night, but I doubled with hyaleronic acid daytime and nighttime. And then I have very, very sensitive skin. My poor kids also have sensitive skin. They both have eczema. I cannot get on a retinone bandwagon like if my life depended on it. Like I have tried every formulation, alternating once a week. And it just makes my skin so sensitive and irritated. But I do do really well with like the AHAs, BHA acids. So once or twice a week, I'll do like a little light peel. My routine's pretty simple. Yeah. And your skin's amazing. I also could not do anything in the retinol, retinoid family at all. And then when I started using the Jan Marini, always have to say this is not sponsored. They don't pay me. They probably should at this point.

Yeah. The age intervention duality, it's like a dual pump and it's a trans retinal and then mixed with, I want to say, benzoyl peroxide. It sounds very aggressive. But it's essentially for like adult acne and anti-aging. That changed the game for my skin. Yeah. Can you do that every night? Every night. You don't find that your skin's like raw or sensitive. No, not at all. And I do glycolic every night and salicylic. And I mean, I'm doing everything. Yeah. It sounds super aggressive. And my skin was so. sensitive before I started doing this to where I was like, this is not going to be good for me. My facialist put me on it. And she was like, just trust me. Trust the process. And I think the way that it's formulated, I think they're probably, I don't know the dosages that are in each product of them. Yeah, but they're formulated to kind of like work in concert with each other. And I feel like it just made my skin so much thicker and stronger. Did you go through like a weird phase when you first started like a peeling or sensitive, nothing. Just from the beginning, it just worked.

Yeah, it was crazy. That's amazing because at the moment, like I said, I try any of the retinol products, my skin flares up, it gets red, it gets bumpy, and I start peeling. And if I'm too aggressive with the acids, same. I have to be, like, so gentle. But I don't know if that's just because I have sensitive and, you know, I'm a prone skin. Yeah.

But maybe I'm going to, maybe I'm going to give it a whirl. Well, your skin is looking amazing. We were just talking before we started recording about taping and Botox. And you recently. I recently had a little bit of a Botox fiasco. I did. I had a Botox fiasco. So I am a teeth grinder.

I used to sleep with a mouth guard at night, but that's just like annoying to have to put every night. So I talked to my person that does my Botox and I was like, what are your thoughts on like, let's do a little bit of masseter Botox so that I don't grind my teeth at night. You know, a little bit of like facial slimming isn't going to hurt. So we went ahead and we did a little bit of lower face Botox. And a week later, my smile was horribly crooked. And I trust my injector wholeheartedly. I don't think it was that they didn't know what they were doing. I just think, you know, while everyone's anatomy is similar, it's not identical. And some people do have variants. You have a branch of a nerve that maybe isn't exactly where the anatomy book says. And my smiles just, they took out half my smile. I saw pictures. It was like, it was. It was pretty crazy. What am I going to do? I can't film. I can't do. What did you do? So I went back and I saw her and I was like, what are my options? And she was like, look, she was like, it's like, it's. Botox. Eventually, it'll wear off and you'll regain function on that side of the face.

She's like, so we can wait. You can massage it and do kind of like an M-sculpt thing to help that muscle start firing and the Botox wear off faster. Or we can do a small injection on the opposite side to basically paralyze the other side so that at least it doesn't look so bad because it was bad. I mean, I can show you guys a photo if you want. So that's what we did. We opted for a low-dose Botox injection on the other side. And it's a lot. still messed up my smile. I still feel like my smile is weird. And if you've been commenting on my post that my smile is weird, you are correct. Yeah, now you know. Now you know, guys, I had a little Botox disaster. And now I'm just going to wait for everything to wear off. And I think I'm going to start

face taping. Because things happen. Yes. I think what was it? Was it Lily Galichu did Botox? She did some sort of filler and they injected a vessel and she had to have it. She had an occlusion. She had an occlusion. It started necrosing. Thank God she knew what it was and she got it treated. But it happened. You can go to the best injectors and things happen. I think a lot of people are starting to reevaluate. And I think that that is a big piece of it. So what happened to me isn't necessarily going to happen to everyone. It's a lot more common than I thought it would be.

I mean, the thousands of messages that I've gotten and comments and everything from people who have gotten sick from Botox, whether it's the Botox itself or it's some kind of immunological thing that we have within us, like I'm dealing with mastell. activation syndrome now, which, you know, I've had this cascade of things since it happened. It doesn't really matter. Like some people are going to react terribly to it. And some people are going to have complications. I was telling you that when I was like regularly doing Botox, I look back on video of myself from summer of 2023. And I remember people saying like, I looked uncanny valley and like I was wearing a mask of a face. And I was like, they're just haters.

And now I look back and I'm like, yeah, I could not. I also couldn't smile. Like I could kind of get like halfway there, but that's where I'm on now because now since everything's paralyzed, I'm like, am I smiling? I think you look beautiful, but you can feel, right? Like you feel is like it's not working. I don't smile with my teeth anymore because now I'm self-conscious about it. So the whole purpose of doing it was to feel better about yourself, right? And now I'm more self-conscious about my smile. Yeah. So I'm like focused on skincare. Yeah. Apparently I'm going to start facial taping. Yeah. And with filler too, and I think just the cadence at which we get these things, you're kind of to have a complication at some point in your life.

And I think that people are starting to be like, I don't know if I want to necessarily take that risk, you know, whether it's going to be severe or just something minor that's going to wear off. Who knows? But I mean, I don't know about you, but I started getting Botox when I was like 29. And I got it every few months, ish, maybe give or take, you know, sometimes. Yeah. For almost a decade.

And something happened, you know. But it's like if you're doing that and you're doing that with filler or whatever. it is for your entire life, there might be some kind of complication. And I did have other things, exactly. I did have other things happen, like kind of similar to what happened to you. But before I got married, I went to this, we'll say, Instagram famous injector, doctor in Beverly Hills to get Botox. And it was like, it was crazy. I think he quoted me $4,500 for a Botox browlift. We shall name no names. Yeah, rhymes with Corian.

But at the time, I was like, oh, I guess you get what you pay for. And my brows, like, dropped. I mean, so hooded. So then I had to go do like microcurrent, like things to stimulate it. I had to do the drops that like opened my eyes. I had bruising everywhere. I mean, it was crazy. And yeah, it's just like something that you have to, you.

you know, consider when you go in to get these treatments. Yeah. And I mean, you're from L.A. I'm from Miami. I think especially in cities like this, there's this pressure to, you know, look a certain way. And it starts really early. Yeah. Like I want to say I got Botox and fillers probably right around when I was like 30 or in my late 20s. No need. You know how good your collagen is? I know. Like you don't need. Looking back, I was crazy to think that you needed that stuff. And over time, all that filler migrates. It doesn't end up where it used to be. I had to have a bunch of filler under my eyes dissolved because I would smile and I had like

a bulge here of filler. Yeah. I did under eye filler once and years later I had this hollowness, but it would become puffy sometimes. It absorbed fluid. Yeah. It was like a puffy hollow. Yeah.

So it was bad. So then I put fat under. That was a good solution for me. But yeah, it's tricky. There is so much pressure. and I think everywhere has a different aesthetic. I was just talking to Valeria before about this. And she's 34 and she had only gotten Botox like last year.

And we were talking about how there is kind of this myth of the preventative Botox. I think the fact that I have like no static lines on my face right now is probably because I did Botox for so long. And also like I'm still under 40. Like we do have some collagen left hopefully a little bit. It's not like, you know, we're going to look elderly at the age of 30. you're 39 too, right? You just turned 40. Okay. So I think that's part of it. But, you know, there are people who get Botox for the first time in their late 30s, mid 30s, early 40s, whatever. And

everything goes away. The lines all go away. Like there was no prevention other than whatever skincare they were doing. But it's a little bit just things that make you go. When you're like 80 and you've never done it and those lines are really deep. Yeah. Yeah. You have to do it at 25. Yeah. But there is so much pressure. I'm curious what that was like for you seeing yourself on TV all the time because I know for me like my perception of myself changed when Instagram stories came out because I had never seen myself like my face in action. Did seeing yourself on TV and on camera and all of that change your perception of yourself at all? You know what to do your point? Like you don't really like you looking yourself in the mirror is one thing but then like really stepping outside of it and seeing you have like all.

whole conversation or looking at yourself as if you're a different person really gives you kind of a different perspective. And that's when I kind of realized like, ooh, my skin is not looking as youthful as it used to look. I would see kind of like fine lines and it just didn't look like the way I felt, I guess, because I don't know, I always feel like I still feel like I'm very young. Yeah. What's your age? What's your internal age? Like 27, 25. I'm 28. Like, I still feel very young. And I didn't feel like I looked that young when I saw my skin on the, on the TV, which is really what prompted me to be like, okay, what am I going to do next for my skin? I had already decided I did not want to do fillers because I had had all that filler migration when I was younger. And so I started doing research, like, what else can I do? I did a lot of microneedling with radio frequency like scarlet morphias. And then I started reading about exosomes. And that's kind of what prompted this, like, skincare journey. and my involvement with exoscutical. So definitely the research, I was like, okay, exosomes.

I'm like, I haven't really heard of this. It wasn't something that was like people were talking about. I hadn't seen it offered at any of the places where I would go to for my facials or anything. So I started doing more research about it. And then I came across Dr. Robin Smith. She is like a world-renowned pioneer in the regenerative medicine stem cell exosome space. And I had read a couple articles that she had published. She has a couple books out.

And I reached out to her. And I was like, hey, what are your thoughts on this in terms of skincare? And she's like, well, she's like, I've actually been doing a lot of research and I'm in the development phases of exasuticals. So she had already done a lot of the leg work in terms of the research because that's what her background was in. And then I was like, okay, I was like, I see where this is going and I want to be a part of this. So we decided to partner and exasuticals became a thing. We are so conscientious when it comes to how we are treating our bodies how we're moving, what we are eating, our self-care products, but a huge overlooked category is our cookware. So most non-stick cookware still contains harmful toxins. In fact,

a study by the Ecology Center in California found that 80% of non-stick pans contain teflon, which can be released into your food, your home, and your body. Also, a brand new study published in the Science of the Total Environment found that a single scratch on a non-stick coated pan can release approximately 9,100 plastic particles. This is why I like to use OurPlace. Our Place makes high-performance, toxin-free cookware. Their products are made without forever chemicals, so you can cook confidently without wondering what's in your pan, except for what you are cooking. And Our Place's Cookware set will upgrade your kitchen in one fell swoop. The set includes two multifunctional always pans and two perfect pots in many and full sizes. So they replace the bulky

expensive stack of cookware that so many of us have that are so cumbersome. They also have amazing products like the Wonder Oven, which is a revolutionary air fryer and toaster oven. It's sold out eight times made from stainless steel and glass. People are always asking me what air fryer to use. I highly recommend this one. They also have the always pan, the always pan pro, the blender that I carry around with me every day with my matcha in it. So stop cooking with toxic cookware and upgrade to our place today. Visit from our place.com slash blonde and use the code blonde for 10% off site wide. With a hundred day risk free trial, free shipping and returns, you can experience this game changing cookware with zero risk. There are so

many advancements in skincare from topical skincare to treatments and a huge trend that I think is going to be at the forefront of skincare in the coming years is ingestable skincare. So my favorite that I have been using for many, many months now is Hyacera from Ritual. It is a gorgeous once daily skin supplement clinically proven to reduce spine lines and increase skin smoothness in 90 days. And in a clinical study, Hyacera led to a 2.9x increase in skin smoothness within 90 days as compared to placebo. And Hyacera subjects reported an improvement in skin elasticity, glow, and radiance in 90 days. I've definitely noticed this. My skin just, looks more hydrated and juicier. And as I am now 40, I'm noticing that my skin is retaining

less moisture. So hydration from within is really, really essential. And I also love that the capsule has an essence with soothing vanilla. It makes it enjoyable to take. And as with all ritual products, hyacera is rigorously tested and validated by a third party for allergens, microbes, and heavy metals. So start hyacera to support your glow without compromising on clean science. You can get 25% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com slash blonde. Start ritual or add hyacera to your subscription today. That's ritual.com slash blonde for 25% off. I do not even want to begin to imagine all the money that I've spent on skincare and beauty products over the years to battle issues like acne, damaged hair, change in hair color, rashes, and the like.

and I realized that I was completely overlooking one of the most fundamental steps, which is the water that I shower in. So we all know how important it is to filter the water that we drink, but we don't think the same way about the water that we shower in. Clean water really is the first step to an effective beauty routine, and it's a step that I admittedly completely overlooked. So I got the Jolie filtered showerhead, and it made such a huge difference in my skin and also in my hair. living in L.A. It is such a struggle. There's so much chlorine in our water and being blonde, it can be really difficult. My hair color changes so quickly in the water here and my hair becomes dry and brittle. I had a ton of breakage and I realized that it was the water. So Jolie's filtered showerhead is best in class for removing chlorine and heavy metals. It's the only lab tested

and clinically trialed filtering showerhead on the market. And they also have a beautiful sleek design. So it's the perfect combination of form and function. Jolie still gives strong water pressure and fits all showers as the plumbing pipe size is universal. So Jolie will give you your best skin and hair guaranteed. Go to JolieSkinco.com slash well to try it out for yourself with free shipping. That's Jolie skinco.com slash well for free shipping. And if you don't like it, you can return your Jolie for a full refund within 60 days. No questions asked. Jolie is also available on Amazon and at select Alta Stores. Get yours now. So what exactly are exosomes and how do they work? So exosomes are these tiny vesicles that are released by almost all the cells in the body.

And initially, when they discovered exosomes, they basically thought that they were the cell throwing waste away. But after years of research, they discovered that these vesicles are actually very important. And they contain key products like growth factors, proteins, amino acids, peptides, and they travel from one cell to another cell and carry messages and goodies from one place to another. So if you think of your body as a city, exosomes are FedEx trucks that go around the city and take packages and messages from one place to another. And they can send regenerative messages. So if there's a cell that's injured or that's not regenerating, it can send growth factors to that cell and help that cell start to regenerate and send, you know, growth factors there so that it

can start doing its thing again. And as we age, part of the age, process is our skin starts to thin. You know, we lose collagen, we lose elastin. Our ability to maintain moisture goes down so you see the wrinkles and the fine lines. And our exosomes are derived from adipose tissue from skin. So they speak skin. They know skin. So these exosomes can go down to the skin and say like, hey, skin, start doing your thing again and pick up collagen production, pick up elastin production. All the things that we need. Yeah, collagen, those are my buzzwords right now because I have thin skin to begin with. Like, I don't know, my ethnicity, my background, my genetics.

But as I age and I don't know if you notice this, like 38, almost into 40, there's a lot that's happening and changing. A lot. And it's really like 38, 37 where you're like, I don't know that I like this. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you're still very youthful, like through your early 30s, mid 30s. And it's so funny because when you are in that time in life, you're probably panicking.

I definitely was. I was like, wow, this train is like going and there's no slowing it down. And oh my God. But then I look back to when I was like 35, 36 even. And I'm like I was still like pretty good. Like had lots of collagen and things were good. And then late 30s, I feel like it's when the wheels start to. It is what it is. Everything kind of slows down. Yeah. I mean, even my body's ability to metabolize alcohol. You know, when I was younger, I used to be able to go out, I don't know, party, drink all night, wake up the next morning and be fully functional. I could go get a workout in, like a whole day of productivity after a day of drinking. Yeah. If I have two glasses of wine now, I feel it the next day. Like, I go to sleep, I have palpitations. Like, I just don't feel good. Like, my body is just not doing what it was doing back in the day. Yeah.

Yeah. A lot of things. So, you know, you have to work on finding natural ways to kind of keep the wheels in motion. Yeah. Which is really what I think is so fascinating about the field of exosomes. Mm-hmm. You know, if we can send those regenerative messages to where they need to go, and get them to start doing what they were doing when we were younger? I mean, that's, that's ideal. It's like the future of skincare, I think. I really do think it's the future of

skincare. And I think it's the future of a lot of things. You know, it's not FDA approved yet for injection, but instead of doing, you know, PRP injection into a joint and eventually we get to the point where we're doing exosome injections to joints to have, you know, cartilage regenerate and whatnot. I really do think it's the future of medicine. Yeah, and you have that medical background. So I'm curious if there are any other things that you see coming down in the pipeline because I know that you like to research and all of that. As far as beauty or anti-aging, obviously exosomes are like a major one, but anything else that- I think exosomes is going to be a huge thing. I think we're seeing a big shift toward laser treatments resurfacing a lot of like microneedling and radio frequency

treatments. I recently did three sessions of Scarlet. I don't know if you've heard of it. I don't know that one. Morpheus. And I do feel like I got a little snatch happening here that I didn't have before. Okay. And you didn't lose fat. And I didn't lose fat. Okay. But this is the thing that I think people think it's just like, oh, it's a machine. Morpheus. Anyone that has it, it's the same. But there are settings that you use your, you know, the person who's doing the machine to you adjusts. Yeah. And not all settings are the same. You know, if it's the needle's too deep, it's too hot, it can burn fat. So I feel like you need to just be very careful. where you go and who your provider is because it's it's not just a one setting per per you know a universal setting for everybody yeah yeah and I think that for a lot of us it depends on our body's

own ability to heal and create more collagen and for me when I did radio frequency micronealing I did one session of profound back then and that was good and then I did another session and then it just like melted things and I think that that is not necessarily even a provider error you know, I think that it's my skin type. And some people also like the heat from the needle, you know, like melasma, especially here in South Florida, a lot of people suffer from malasma. So it can make people's, you know, melasma and hyperpigmentation flare up. So I think every, you know, people need to take things with a grain of salt when they hear,

you know, their favorite celebrity or influencer doing things. Because to your point, not everyone's skin is going to react the same way to the same treatment. I think you kind of have to find what works for you. How do you feel about like polynucleotides to that point? I am at the stage in my life. now where I am like less is more. I had my Botox disaster. I had a little umbilical hernia after my daughter that I tried to have fixed. And now I'm like, I don't know if that was the right move. Now I have a weird belly button. So I kind of just feel like I keep doing things to make

things better. And instead of taking like a step forward, I take two steps back. So I'm kind of just, you know, right now I'm just. Yeah. It's interesting though. I feel like so many people though. I mean, back to what we were talking about before. I don't know if you see this like in your friend group or women that you know around here or if I'm just noticing it because I talk about this and all of that. This is what I'm being fed content wise and what I'm seeing on my algorithms and the feedback that I'm getting from my followers and what I see my friends going through and all of that. But I'm like there is something happening. There is a shift. And maybe part of it is the advancements or are the advancements that we have in things like skincare and lasers and

these alternative modalities where it's not just all injectables now. And it's not just all like, I don't know. I just feel like we have so much more at our disposal. Like it's a great time to. What a time to be alive, I always say. But there does seem to be shift and the step back where people are going, whoa. Like maybe we're doing the most and it's not the best thing. I think there's been a shift in wellness in general.

Like people are prioritizing their health in terms of, I think we're seeing a lot of people who have given up alcohol, you know, voluntarily not because they were in rehab or anything like that. A shift toward, you know, people doing things like cold plunging and whatnot. I think there is a culture movement toward being healthier and detoxing from all of these kind of like artificial things. Yeah. And we all have different thresholds. And I think that people are aware of that too. And we're exposed to so many things that we can't really control to begin with. So then it's like, well, do I want to be adding to that load with all the things that I'm doing? Every time I do something. Now I'm like, why did I do this?

Yeah. I shouldn't have done it. The enemy, I have said the enemy of good is better like 30 times this year because I feel like every time I try to do something. Yeah. Like you just need to leave good enough alone. But it's so hard and it's so hard. And it's so hard being, I think we have to give ourselves grace here.

It's so hard being a woman, period. It's so hard being a woman in that 30s to 40s transition where we're noticing changes. And then being a public facing. woman where you're on TV, you're on social media, you're also getting everybody's feedback. It's hard. I think we need to acknowledge that, you know, and at any age. I know I can't imagine how hard it is for teenagers, women in their 20s. It has to be so hard for kids now. Being in your 50s, like all of that. It's hard at any age. But I can only relate it to where we are in our lives right now. Like, I don't know. It's like we're doing our best. We are. But you know what? I feel

like everyone's on the same boat right now. So I've learned to give myself grace. And I'm just like, it is what it is. Yeah. Did any of your experience after you gave birth? And I know that you had like really severe postpartum anxiety. Like did that shift things for you at all? Yeah. I mean, like I said, I'm scared of everything now. Yeah. You know, like everything. I'm like, oh my gosh. If I do if I do inject something and then it goes wrong and then I have to have emergency surgery. Like now I think, which is probably not great either, right, to have this kind of like catastrophic thinking. But that's part of having anxiety. I think about everything fivefold. So I think that's added to me now just being like, you know what, I'm just going to leave good enough and loan. I'm not going to, I'm not willing to

risk or gamble something because it's just, yeah, I just don't think my mental health can take it anymore. So you're still struggling with anxiety? It's definitely gotten a lot better. I think as Genevieve has gotten older, it's gotten better. For me, as I loved breastfeeding, I breastfed my son until he was nine months old, but it was adding a lot of stress and pressure, you know, just like the timing of it all. I think once I gave up breastfeeding, it was a big stress relief, time relief, hormonal relief. So I think that made a world of a difference.

I stopped breastfeeding her right when she turned five months. And I feel like it's gotten better. But I still am a lot more anxious just in general and about things. Like I never used to be nervous to fly. And now I get on the plane and I'm just like watching the clock. went through that a couple years ago. But then I got over it. How did you get over it? Because I love to travel. Yeah. It was rough. So I was flying from Boston to L.A. It wasn't even that turbulent or anything. But I started having a panic attack on the plane. And I think that it just dropped a pin in my brain.

Like, this is dangerous. So then from that point on, every time I got on a plane, I would have anticipatory anxiety. And then as soon as there was any bump or any sound or anything, I mean, I was beyond panicked. And my rock bottom was a few years ago. We were flying to L.A. to Greece. And we had to stop in Iceland to refuel. This is back when I was with my ex and we were flying private. Yeah, I was like, you're playing private if you're stopping in Iceland. Which was worse.

If I'm going transatlantic, I want to be on a giant plane. It is not like. You're just like, at least there's a bunch of people around who you kind of get like cues from people. When you're going to yourself on that plane, it's nerve wrecking. Yeah. Yeah. We had some friends with us. But I just remember and I was like, something has to change and something that I did that did not really work.

But I thought it was helping at the time was I read Cockpit Confidential. I listened to podcasts on flying. I had a session with a former commercial pilot who became a therapist who coached people who had fear of flying. I learned all about the redundancies and planes and the backups to the backups. And I had all the information. And actually something helpful that this guy did tell me was that you can have all the information. But what happens when you get up there is your stress response takes over because it's reacting to noises and movements and things like that. So all of the knowledge is not going to override that

stress response. It's really about learning how to just calm that down. So, I mean, I learned, like, tactics of, like, following something with my eyes and- I just about to tell you. Yeah. And counting and things like that. But ultimately, like, it just went away. So it's funny. is you have your right brain and your left brain, right? Your left brain is like your logic center. So you could have all these facts and all these things and it's your left brain. Your right brain is kind of like your fight or flight survival limbic system brain. When you're panicked like that, the two brains aren't talking. So it doesn't matter what you know on your left brain. It's not going to tell the right brain anything. And so I recently during

my therapy started doing the rapid eye movement desensitization therapy where you basically move your eyes back and forth. And that's supposed to help the right and left. brain communicate better during these stressful situations. So I've been doing that. I'll let you know how my flight goes in December. Yeah. Let me know. But it's actually like a form of therapy that they do with the eye movements. Like EMDR. EMDR kind of. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're under stressed, you know, you can see if that'll help. Yeah. There are things. I mean, I saw like the Jello theory on TikTok. I don't know if you saw that. What's that? It went viral maybe a year or two ago, but it was basically somebody explaining like when the plane is in the air, it's like putting something in the

middle of jello. And so you can shake it around, but it's not just going to fall. And something about that visual was kind of helpful for me. Like they were explaining like the physics of it. And they're like, it physically cannot just fall. And I'm like, well, I think it has, but okay. I'll put that aside for a minute. But they were just like, you know, like it's stuck there in the air because of how fast it's going. And I think that for me, the sensation felt like we were going slow. So any like when you're up there, you don't feel like you're going 500 miles per hour. So that made sense to me. And then I did listen to a podcast.

And it was my friend Liz Moody. And she interviewed a pilot. And she has really bad flying anxiety. And the pilot basically was like when she brought up turbulence, I mean, he just kind of groaned and was like, okay, like we have to talk about this. He couldn't, could not believe that this is something that people are afraid of. And he just said like, it's not like it's not dangerous because that was the thing. Turbulance always scared me. feel unsettled as a passenger.

You know, Anthony, my partner, he's a pilot. Oh. So he tells me all these things. He's like, a plane's wings are actually built so that they can almost like bend up and touch each other. Yeah. Oh, I watched all the tests on YouTube. He's like, that's how much like turbulence and friction that those things can take.

He's like, those little bumps you're feeling they're nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think ultimately like I think I just kind of got to a point where I was like, I travel all the time. It's the thing that like fills me up and I am essentially making a deal. Like when I step on the plane, like I'm relinquishing control and that's really hard for me. But I either am going to like get through it and it's going to be absolutely miserable or I can just try to like,

let it go. And it's so much easier said than done. You know, I don't love turbulence. Like if I'm on a long flight and I'm sleeping and I wake up and it's like, I don't know. The plane is shaking. I don't know. I don't like anyone likes that right. No one goes on their plane and they're like, I mean, my boyfriend, this may have helped me also flying with him. Like, he is unflappable, like so unfazed. And I remember the first long trip that we took. We were flying to London. And it was the most turbulent flight I think I've been on in years.

And we were eating dinner and I had soup. The soup is sloshing everywhere. Water bottles are flying. I mean, it was really, really turbulent. They had to stop service. And we're like in the pods and he's next to me. And he's like, night, babe. And he just rolls over.

puts his blanket over him puts the eye mask down it's like we're getting rocked all around and he just went to bed and I was like yeah exactly I don't think he even knows what anxiety it is and I was like but this is a good model for me like I'll never be at that point yes like I aspire to that it'll never happen but I was like okay like I seem to be the only one in this class that's like panicked about this you know, so I don't know. But I think it gets better with time. Yeah, but I think a lot of people can relate. And I heard that it is something that happens to people like after 30 because I think

that you become more aware of your mortality. And then I think women also and you're a mom and you have kids and you become wired to be on high alert. And so it makes total sense. Yeah. I don't know if something about, you know, I don't know if it's like mama bear instinct or whatnot. But yes, definitely after having kids. Like I feel like my head's on a swivel. Yeah. I go everywhere. I'm like holding my kids hands. I'm very much about like, you know, situational awareness. Who's somewhere or who's in the building? Where's the nearest exit? It's all it's a lot. Yeah. I don't have kids and that's how I am.

I don't just wait for it if you ever do because it's going to go up a notch. It's just it's wild. Yeah. I've definitely gotten more anxious in the stage of my life that we're living in. Everything that's going on, you know, all these random or non-random acts of violence that we're witnessing. You know, you see a lot of things on social media. It's a scary time. Yeah, it is. I hate to say it, but from microplastics to chronic digital exposure, endocrine disruptors, to industrialized food, modern life is hijacking our health at a cellular level, leading to decreased energy, brain fog, and accelerated aging. But this is where Armacolostrum is so helpful. It is nature's original superfood.

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So I stopped after my son was born shortly thereafter, I stopped doing all overnight calls. I actually went from being a full-time anesthesiologist to being like an 80%. I was working four days a week. And then once he started school, I started realizing like there were so many things that he would do at school that I wasn't able to go to. You know, there's like, you know, donuts with dad and cookies with mom and arts and crafts and all these like random things that always happen to be at like one in the afternoon. And if you're working at the hospital, you're not there for those things. So eventually I switched to being per diem,

which means I just tell, I'm like an independent contractor. I end up working now like two to three days a week, just regular hours. I go in at seven. I leave at five. And I look at my son's school calendar and I'm like, okay, I'm like, these are the days that he doesn't have anything. These are the days I'm available. And so I basically schedule my work around my kids. If I know they don't have something or no karate, no this, then I'll schedule a day to work. Amazing. So, like, I took today off, obviously, to be here with you. And then, and then I, of course, I did my nails. I did other things. But, and then I'm working tomorrow and the Wednesday. So it's like two to three days. And do you miss, like, the entertainment and the TV of it all? Yes and no. You know, I think, like,

everything, there's pros and there's cons. Being on the reality TV was stressful. There's a lot of drama and it could be toxic at times. But I also made, like, real friends on the show. it's also kind of fun to like get glammed and get dressed and you know like buy clothes to film like it was like I don't know part of it was fun too it was exhausting pays well I don't know you know like for every negative there was a positive I just don't think it's it's for me right now it's not to say that I never will go back but right now I just feel like I'm enjoying my time with my kids and how is it for your relationship it was stressful I'm sure Anthony you'll be like she's never going back I know that like the divorce rate I mean the divorce rate I mean the divorce rate I mean the divorce rate rate in general is like not great, but the divorce rate on reality TV is extremely high. Yeah. I mean, you know, I always tell when people are like, oh, what was it like? Would you recommend it? I always tell people that like if there's like a weakness in your life, they will find it. And by they, I mean, you know, producers, castmates. And then you'll have to deal with that weakness. For me, it was my relationship with my dad, like my family drama that really we dealt with on the show.

But I think if your marriage or your relationship is in a hard place, being on reality television isn't going to make it any easier. Like they'll pick up on like that kind of like instability and people will ask about it and you'll have to talk about it. And then they'll go digging about it. And I just don't think that it makes tenuous situations any better. Yeah. I feel like that happens in marriage too in general. Like I think that there's a misconception that marriage is going to make everything easier. Like it's going to fix everything.

And I think that sometimes people get married because they think that it will fix whatever cracks they have in their foundation. But I think that marriage really holds a magnifying glass over those cracks. And I'm sure it sounds like that's kind of how that was as well where it's just going to bring everything to the surface and then you have to confront it. And you're also under an added stress, right? So you're a little bit more irritable. You're more tired. And those are traits that don't necessarily bring out the best in someone. So then if you're already arguing with your partner and now you're tired and you're stressed, you're just going to be.

going to argue more. So, you know, I was lucky I have a very supportive partner, but he'll tell you that it would put an enormous amount of stress on me. Like, I'm an empath. I feel like I absorbed people's energy. And being in that room with like six women, seven women fighting and like arguing, I would get home and I was just like, like depleted. Yeah. I cannot imagine. I also. Yeah. I don't want to make it seem like it was all bad. No, I'm sure. I was both. But I identify with, you know, being an empath and being kind of like a sensitive person and like I'm an extroverted introvert and I talk about this all the time but I really get my energy from like being alone and so I feel like that would be just so stimulating to where it would just be so draining. Exactly. Yeah. And then having two kids like

especially a newborn like I just felt like I could not bring that energy and that exhaustion home to already like exhausted state. Yeah. Like there was just no way I would have been able to film this year. Yeah. Is there. anything that you're struggling with now? You know, obviously I've been really open about the postpartum anxiety. I think moms have a lot of pressure on them, right? Because it's like, there's this expectation of motherhood, right? That it's going to be this like beautiful, magical experience. And it is being, you know, it's a huge blessing. But that doesn't mean that there aren't hard moments. And there aren't, and then that you aren't going to have moments where you

kind of miss your former life, right? Like, even though you love being a mom, you love your kids, it's hard to find, like, Nicole as an individual person after two kids. Like, they just take up so much time. And it's like, if I'm not Nicole, the mom to one, I'm Nicole the mom to the other. And then I'm like, Nicole, like the wife or the partner. And I'm just like, we're just like Nicole by herself. It's hard. So I think just like finding time by myself right now is like the hardest thing. How old are your kids now? I have a six-year-old. or a soon to be six year old, he turned six in February. And Genevieve is eight months. She just turned eight months. So like, there's still very little and like very time consuming. And then I still

work at the hospital. That's the skincare line. The social media. Like, you know, it's just, it's a lot. I love the honesty. Like, I really appreciate the honesty because I feel like not enough people talk about that. And I think everybody is struggling with that. However their life looks. Like, this is something that I've been really struggling with too and that I'm working on in therapy. which is like, what is my identity? Because I have my identity in my job and almost different identities with the podcast and social media and other ventures that I have in my business. And then I have my identity as like a friend and like a girlfriend and a daughter. We all wear so many different hats. And it's like, who am I? But when you peel off all those hats, you're kind of left with this thing that

you don't even know like what it is anymore. Yeah. It's hard. And. It is hard. And I'm trying to get more comfortable. I talk about this in my therapist too with like setting really firm boundaries because I feel like I have been a yes girl my entire life. I think it was a product of my upbringing. I grew up in a really traditional Latin household where women just did as they were told. And I kind of was like always like, yes, yes, yes, I'll do this. Yes, I'll go to your event. Yes, I'll do this. And I would run myself to the ground trying to please people. And now I'm trying to get very comfortable and I'm getting much better to the point where. Anthony might be like, I do a little bit of a bitch lately. But I'm kind of unapologetic now about setting boundaries because I've realized that like I can't pour from an empty cup. I am like no good to anybody if I am like run down to the ground. And so I'm being really good about like prioritizing my time and doing what really matters most to me and like saying no and being okay with it. Like I'm not even giving you an explanation. I'm just going to be like, yeah, no, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. There is so much power in saying no. This year has been my year of saying no.

And next year, even more so. 39, right? You're just like, yeah, no time for this nonsense. Yeah. And I think it all kind of ties into what we've been talking about, which is like, I don't know, I guess getting a little more comfortable with yourself. Like, on the one hand, it feels like we are kind of figuring out who we are at the stage, but we also know, like, what works and what doesn't work.

And I arrive at that place through discomfort. So I got in so much discomfort, especially in my career from being that yes person. and in my personal life as well. And when I get so uncomfortable, that's like where I get the motivation to change. It's like I have to hit a rock bottom with something to change. So I don't know. It's always refreshing to like have these conversations with people that you feel like are killing it. Right?

Because it's like, I don't know. I watch you and Valeria and I'm just like, wow, look at them. They're like, you know, you guys are built. You built these brands and you're in. I seem like you have it all together. But then you have conversations. You're like, no, they're just as confused as I am. Yeah. Which is refreshing at the same time. I, you know, I think there's solidarity and knowing that you're not alone.

Yeah. And that's how I feel following her and following you. And, you know, that's the other kind of unique thing is that we are exposed to what our peers are doing on a daily basis. And so that's just a recipe to make you feel like everyone else has it figured out and you don't and you're not doing enough. And it can be really hard. And so I also love conversations like this because like you peel back that veil. And it's like we are all dealing with shit and we're all struggling. And like nobody has it all. figured out. And I feel like on some level, we know that. But then when we're constantly seeing the highlight real, you know, it's easy to like forget. I mean, that's I think why, you know, people's anxiety levels are through the roof, right? Because you're, people spend hours on social media. And all they're seeing is like the highlights, the positive things. And then they compare it to their life, which obviously they're dealing with the good and the bad. And they're not seeing everyone's bad. So everyone just thinks that their life is substantially worse than everybody else's because no one's showing the bad. Yeah. Which is why I kind of felt like I had like an obligation to talk about

postpartum anxiety because between 20 to 25% of women are suspected to have some degree of postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression. But no one talks about it. And I think it's because there's like this taboo. No one wants to be the only one. They don't want to feel bad or. And it's like, I should be grateful. I just had this. Correct. This pressure to feel like this is this magical moment. But it's okay if it's not. It's okay. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It doesn't mean you don't love being a mom. But there are going to be hard times and it's okay to talk about them because some people don't talk about it. They don't get the help they need. Was there a point that you did decide to get help or was it just from the beginning that you were like something is wrong and your

doctors were like, oh, this is what it is? Or was it a little bit of a struggle to like arrive at that diagnosis and at that conclusion for yourself? So I don't think I realized it right away because my daughter came six weeks early. So she was born premature. She spent 10 days in the NICU. So it was kind of, it was like an emergency C-section. I was like on sympathetic overload. You know, I was fight or flight. I didn't even have time to process what was going on. And I must have been like, I left the hospital. Genevieve stayed in the NICU. It must have been like day five after my C-section. And I woke up at like two in the morning. I was dripping sweat. My heart was pounding. And I remember waking up Anthony and I was like, something's wrong. I was like, something's wrong. I was like, something. is wrong. I'm like, I don't feel good. I was like crying. I was shaking. I was like, I was like, I think I have like maybe an infection from my C-section. Like I was just kind of like trying to figure out what was going on. I was like, do I have mastitis? Do I have a UTI? Like I, because I was sweating. I was like, and I remember he was like, okay, let's go in the shower. He puts me in the shower. I'm sitting on the shower floor. He's literally sitting like right next to me. And I'm crying. And looking back on it now, I didn't realize it then. I was

having a full blown panic attack. I just didn't realize it then. And, and I just didn't realize it then. And like, sure enough, we were in the shower for like 30 minutes and eventually I think I was just so depleted. I fell back asleep. But it was at that moment that I was like, something is wrong, you know? And I've done enough therapy in my lifetime to be like, I'm overwhelmed. Like I just felt so helpless because Genevieve was in the hospital and I didn't know what was going to happen with her. They were talking about intubating her. And I was kind of just like all over the place. You know, so I just kept talking to my therapist and things eventually got better. We got a wonderful night nurse, which helped a ton because I felt. like I was actually able to sleep and I felt like I had like a support system between Anthony and my family and her and everything kind of started coming together. But yeah, there was definitely a moment where I was like something is wrong. We see the outside and you don't know what somebody is dealing with, you know, underneath all of that. And I feel the same. Like when I look at your stuff, I'm like, oh, everything's perfect. She's got it all together. And I'm sure people look at my stuff and think

that same way. And I'm like, no, actually for two months, I've been like every day is a grind, you know, trying to get through life when you feel so terrible, as I'm sure was the same case for you when you were dealing with that. I'm sure people appreciate the honesty and the brightness, you know. Okay. So let's see. How can we close it out on a positive note? What are you doing?

Well, I want to hear about your fitness and your diet and all of that. What's like your wellness routine right now? I mean, right now, since I'm recovering for hernia surgery, it's not that great. I think since I'm involved in skincare, I think people think about skincare just to the stuff that you put on your face. But it goes so much deeper, right? Like if you want your skin to glow, you kind of got a glow from the inside. I'm really big. I eat super clean.

I try not to eat anything that comes out of like a package. Like you'll rarely see me like snacking on anything out of a box. Eat a lot of eggs. You know, I'm a very protein heavy person. A typical day I'll have like some scrambled eggs, yogurt. some oatmeal, salad with some protein for lunch, quinoa, faro. I do eat grains. I eat some carbs, but definitely protein heavy. I mean, I try to eat at least 100 grams of protein a day. I drink a ton of water. I mean, like I go through like four of these in a day. Amazing.

I do still drink alcohol. I haven't cut that out. I mean, I'm not a huge drinker, but I do enjoy a really nice glass of wine every now and then. But in moderation, you know, like twice a week, maybe. I do try to stay very active. If I can make it to the gym or some sort of workout class four times a week. That's like my goal. I go on long walks with my daughter at least four times a week. I just try everything in moderation. And I try to make like healthy, natural decisions. And I'm very mindful of what I put in my body. Amazing. Well, it's working. You look incredible. And you do glow from within. Like sitting here across from you for the past hour. Obviously your skin and everything is beautiful. You're beautiful. But like you do have that, I don't know, like a vibrance from within that I feel like you can't get from skincare.

So whatever you're doing is working. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. Tell everyone where they can find you and where they can get exocyticals. You can follow me along on Instagram, Dr. Nicole Martin and exocyticals.com. We have all of our products available. I just brought you one of our holiday gift boxes. And then, of course, the lip treatment is my favorite.

Yes, I'm excited. Thank you so much. It's going to be a game changer. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked the episode, and if you liked the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes such a long way in supporting the show.

Follow the show over on Instagram at well.pod. You can also follow my personal Instagram at Ariel Laurie. I'm always sharing great clips from the episodes. And we also have full episodes on YouTube as well if you want to watch in entirety. Thanks for listening. Hi, I'm Dr. Will Cole. As a leading functional medicine practitioner, I have had the unique position to see so many alchemize their pain and health problems to their

purpose. Now I want the same for you. This podcast is the manifesto for a new breed of health seekers, where there is a fresh infusion of grace and lightness into wellness. This is the art of being well. Join me every Thursday for a new episode. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.