Well with Arielle Lorre - 444: How to Approach Beauty Treatments, Fitness, Hormones & Evolving Beauty Standards in 2026 with My Longtime Manager & Friend Chelsea Becker

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

This week I’m sitting down with my longtime manager and close friend, Chelsea Becker--the type A to my type B--for an honest conversation about beauty, hormones, motherhood, ambition and what “having it all” actually looks like in this phase of life. We talk about navigating life with and without kids, the selflessness motherhood brings, and what we’d struggle with most if we switched roles. We get into the scrutiny women face in the public eye, the hypocrisy around criticizing women for being transparent, and why I regret talking so openly about certain procedures. We discuss whether confident, secure women can still want to change their appearance and why that conversation feels so charged. On the beauty side, we break down the advice we got in our 20s that turned out to be a lie, the things we did as teens that now make us cringe, honest thoughts on peptides, basic laser protocols, the treatments I like for fine lines and pigmentation and how to find a provider you actually trust. We also talk about periods getting worse with age, perimenopause symptoms no one prepares you for and how hormones shift everything from your skin to your workouts. On the fitness side, we get real about maintaining consistency with two young kids and a business, at-home workout recommendations, why we’re not chasing a certain physique at 40 (except maybe the Kardashian arm!) and focusing on strength and longevity instead. We also share a writing exercise to optimize your life, how recovery principles shape the way we approach beauty and ambition, and what being of service actually means in this season. It’s layered, funny, self-aware and very much a conversation between two women figuring it out in real time.Get 30 days free & $30 off of Waking Up at https://wakingup.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=3&aff_id=89This episode is brought to you by:Go to CLEARSTEM.com/WELL and use code WELL at checkout to get 15% off your first order.Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to TheRealReal.com/well.Head to armra.com/WELL or enter WELL to get 30% off your first subscription order.Visit Ritual.com/BLONDE for 25% off your first month.Go to fatty15.com/WELL and use code WELL at checkout for an additional 15% off their Starter Kit.Visit livemomentous.com and use promo code well for up to 35% off your first order.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is well. A podcast about wellness in all its forms. I'm Ariel Lori, and each week I'm sharing unfiltered conversations with the people shaping how we feel, live, and look. Come for the substance, stay for the honesty, and leave with the tools to be well, inside and out. You guys have been asking for an episode like this for pretty much as long as I've had the podcast, which is seven years now, or basically a form of this. So people often ask me to have a friend on because they want to hear me talk to a friend, have the friend interview me and whatnot. So I had on my brand manager

of six years slash now manager slash friend who knows me in some ways better than some of my closest friends because we work so closely together day in, day out. And she knows every aspect of my life. And I thought that she would be the perfect person to come on because we are around the same age. She's a year younger than me, but she's married. She has two young kids and she's a business owner. So she brings a very different perspective to life than I do, being unmarried, no kids, and being in the business that I'm in. She's on the other side of that. And I just loved this conversation so much. We are very similar in some ways. We always say that we have the same brain, but we're also different in other ways. She's more type A. I am very much type B. But

we really get into such real relatable stuff in this episode. So we talk about being in your 30s and 40s and realizing that life doesn't look exactly how you thought it was. Like I said, she has kids. I don't. We get honest about what that actually means. The selflessness, the identity shifts, the freedom, the tradeoffs. We even talk about what we think we would struggle with most if we switch lives. And then we really go there on beauty. So we talk injectables, not working like they used to. peptides, lasers for fine lines and pigmentation. We talk about what standards we hold ourselves to when it comes to our appearance. We talk about why chasing a specific physique starts to feel different in this decade. We get into perimenopause symptoms, periods getting worse with age,

how we feel completely psycho with our hormones now, to be totally frank, and the stuff that nobody really prepares you for. And then we also talk a lot about public scrutiny, criticizing women for being transparent, online hypocrisy, why I regret talking about any procedures that I've ever done. We talk whether confident, secure women are allowed to want to change their appearance. It's just super honest. It's super nuanced. It's not trying to wrap everything into a bow. It's just two women in the space of life, doing the best that we can, trying to do it well, trying to do it well, to find peace of mind and contentment. We also get into fitness and all of that. So we just really cover so much ground. And I think you're going to see yourself in this one. So please enjoy my

episode with Chelsea. I feel like we've been talking about doing this episode for so long. Years. Yes. Literally years. We talk every day, but not on a podcast. I know. And we basically talk in podcasts every day. Yes. Between our voice notes. And I think I communicate with you more than anybody else in my life. Yeah. And we'll probably get into some of that. But, you know, I like to open my podcast with the question, what makes you well? Not having a lot of my plate. Trying to spend time with my kids, be present with work, see friends here and there, and just not overdoing it. Yeah, I'm working on that. I was going to say, is that even possible? Because I know you have a lot of clients. I feel like even with my stuff, that's like a full-time job in and of itself.

Yeah, I think it is. I think I've learned a lot in the last, like honestly six months of just taking on less and not always trying to grow the business, my social life, whatever, and just kind of pairing back. I do feel like I have balance. I feel like I have boundaries that gives me balance, you know, but I also feel crazed most days. Yeah, I feel like you're working all the time. Yeah. And for people who don't know, we'll give a little bit of context and background, but you have two young kids. Yeah. And you're a business owner. And just in our relationship, you're my manager. You've been my brand manager for many years. Since COVID. Yeah. When did we first start working together? Has it been six years?

It was COVID. I can remember where I was sitting. It was at my parents' house. I do too, actually. Do you? Yeah. I love how you can remember certain things like that. But it was COVID. I was at my parents' house because it was like our safe bubble of people. And I just remember being like, let me help you.

You were like doing so many things, but I was like, there's more we could do. Yeah. So I think since what? It's been six years. Yeah. And I can't remember. I remember if you DM'd me or you emailed me. I think I emailed you.

Yeah, I think email. Yeah. And yeah, I remember I was at my old house in the Palisades. And I remember where I was sitting and everything, like when we had our first call. And I mean, we can do a separate episode if people are interested in the business end of things, which is not what we're doing today. But, I mean, you're so involved in my day to day when it comes to the podcast, when it comes to my personal brand. And now, you know, you've taken on the role of my manager. And so, yeah, so we are like, we're like this.

Talking all day. Yeah. I have you and like one other client that I feel like I'm that involved in. And that's kind of the max. Because it is a lot, you know, and like I want to be able to be focused for you guys. But it's a lot. But I love to work. It's my worth.

it's what makes me feel good. Like I am an enneagram three, which I don't know. Have you ever done the enneagram? No, but I've been listening to Amy Poller's podcast. It's like my new escape. Okay. And she talks about it all the time. For anagram?

Yes. And I actually went on to take the test. And then it made me put my email in and I was like, fine. I know I'm going to get spammed and everything. But then I didn't get the email. And so then I went back to the site and it's like, you have to pay. And I was like, no, I'm out. So I need to find a different website to take the test.

Yeah, I definitely don't think I paid. I don't know anything about it other than I'm a three. And that's just like the type that doesn't shut off and like likes to be driven and work, blah, blah, blah. So I mean, I really mind it. Yeah, you're like a type, you're the type A to my type B. I am like not that organized. I'm more like creative. I go through phases though.

Yeah. I can be very analytical. Like I'm super, super, super. driven and juggling a lot of things at all times. But I feel like I kind of like go with the flow and like I just organization and like admin and things like that are not my strong suit. So that's where you come. Yeah. I mean most influencers, creators aren't. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh my God. We're creative. We could do a whole episode on like influencers. Oh, the things I've seen and heard. Yes. Yeah. You've worked with some big ones.

So I thought today, having given people that context, it would be fun to just have a conversation about kind of where we are in life, like this 30s to 40s time and being business owners and entrepreneurs and you having kids and a family and me not. Like we're in very different places in our lives, even though we're also in similar places if that makes sense. And I think that, you know, people will probably relate to one. or both of us when it comes to certain things. So I want to talk first about like this stage in life. Okay. How old are you? I'll be 40 in October. So I'm right behind you. Okay. Yeah. Crazy.

First of all, how do you feel going into 40? I feel good. I am like not an age person. Like honestly, I don't really think of, I'm not like freaked out about turning 40. I maybe I will be when the day comes. But I feel really good in life right now. I'm glad to be past. the like little kid stage did not enjoy that. I feel like I'm established. I like know what I want to do. Got my circle of friends. Like I feel good. I feel less pressure. I feel like women always say this is the best decade like your 40s, even your 50s. And like I'm all for it. I'm happy to be past my 20s. Honestly. Yeah. That was rough. By the way, we're both going to be kind of answering all of these question. So sometimes I get the feedback on YouTube that I keep referencing things back to myself. And I'm like,

well, yeah, that's a conversation. But yes. The point of this conversation in this episode is for both of us to talk about these things. Yeah. How do you feel? Yeah. I mean, I and I've talked about this a lot, going from 39 to 40 was like nothing to me. Going from 29 to 30 was like existential crisis inducing because I just feel. like just 30 when you're in your 20s like it sounds very old it's a bigger shift I feel like when you're in your 30s to 40s you're already kind of like a real adult yeah you're established yeah yeah for the most part I mean and everybody's timeline is different but I don't know it just it was such like a nothing if anything it was exciting you know there are downsides to getting older obviously like but at the same time it's such a privilege and I feel so good about where I am in

life and 20s were a blackout shit show for me 30s were my time of like rebuilding building growth highs and lows like marriage and divorce you know and then like in a new relationship when I was 38 now it's been two years moving buying a house like so many big changes well yeah like so many big life things and I feel like when I turned 40 all of that was behind me and I was like okay Now I feel like I've found my flow. Yeah. It's just more settled in a good way. I think a lot of people have a lot of changes in their 30s, especially if you have kids.

Usually when women are having kids, if you have kids, it's just a lot of figuring yourself out still and figuring out life. And now I feel like on the other side. And I feel like you're kind of on that too. We're just kind of like settling into life, basically. Yeah. What things do you think? I mean, I know that you're not 40 yet, but like what did you?

quit in your 30s. That changed your life. I mean, I feel like it's such a cliche answer, but the like caring so much about, I don't even think it's like caring so much about what people think. You just kind of get busier. And for me, I have bigger priorities, like family and business. I feel like I'm just less, I'm almost like less self-involved too, which is nice. And I don't miss that.

I think there's something that comes with age and like growing a family and a business and stuff where I'm just like focusing less on myself, but in a good way. You know what I mean? Like I don't know if that makes sense. Totally. And that's one thing that I always say. I envy about people that do have kids. Yeah.

It's not enough to make me want them. But you do hear from people that as soon as they have kids, like the focus is off of themselves and for me that's like life or death like for me my alcoholism and addiction was a lot of self-centeredness and like my world revolving around myself this self-obsession and I don't mean like I was obsessed with myself like I thought I was amazing but it was just I was the center of my world and like incessant chatter in my head and self-centered fear that was the big driver of my alcoholism so like Thankfully, I have recovery and a life in recovery where I do think that offset that. But when you have kids, like that just innately happens.

Right. And it's like you're relieved. Like, yeah, we say like you're relieved from the bondage of self. Yeah, I remember. It's so true. I do feel like you probably have gotten that in recovery in a different. It's just in a different way. But I remember before having kids honestly being sick of just like care.

caring only about myself or like just the details of like what am I going to eat today? What am I doing? Like it just got kind of boring to me. And then you have kids and you're like, oh my God, please can I go back to like having brain space to care about myself? But then it shifts. You know, my kids are older now and I feel like I can focus more on myself, but I still have others to give to. I also feel like I have less fun now. I feel like 30s and 20s were so much fun. It was about like, you know, going out, being social, doing all these things, filling up your calendar. And I just prioritize other, like, I still have fun. But to me, it's like I would rather feel like at peace and like the whole like feeling,

your nervous system being like, what is it? What's that like the greatest wealth is? Health? No. Peace of mind. Serenity. It's like the greatest wealth is like a center. nervous system. Yeah, something. And like it's cheesy, but it's true. And I feel like I left

caring so much about like having fun and like let's go out and get drunk and go to concerts and do all these fun things. And now that kind of exhausts me. And I just want to be chill. So I also feel like that's different about like this stage in a good way. And I think it's a shift. Like you almost feel like life is kind of more boring once you get out of that stage. But at the end of the day, like I just want to be home or like not doing as much. I don't know. I'm very much in a simplifying my life stage. There was a question here. I'm going to skip way ahead. But since we're talking about it, if we switch lives for a year, who would struggle more? Oh. I think I would. Yeah. I actually like die thinking of you. I just feel like it would be so funny. But I also feel like you would be great.

I mean, you know, sometimes I thought I was pregnant. I remember? a few weeks ago. Like, not seriously, but I was like late on my period by a long time. I was so irritable, so tired, so nausea, so bloated. Like, and I had to get pregnancy test. And I'm like, wait, am I kind of excited? I was like, no. Like, I know you don't want kids. So I wasn't excited, but I was also like, wait, this is kind of fun. Yeah. I don't know. I think I would be a good mom because I'm very nurturing. Yeah. But I feel like you're nurturing to Chris and like, wait, Do we say his name? Yeah.

Okay. I was like, wait. I forget his name's there. Yeah. I feel like you are nurturing. Yeah. I don't, I think you would struggle with just, I mean, as I did, like, as a lot of parents, the whiplash of, like, being a parent overnight is crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like I would struggle with your life, though, like being on camera, getting ready every day, the scrutiny, like, yeah. No. I think you would struggle with my schedule too. A lot of nights out, a ton of travel, like, small talk. Or like at the polar opposite ends of the spectrum, I feel like. Yeah.

When it comes to a light style. Bed at 9 p.m. Yeah. You're always doing things and so many things. I'm like just being on camera every day. I'm like creating content. Remember that time that you had to create content? Yeah, I had to make a reel for a client and it was.

How long did it take you? hours and hours and like the stress and the people don't understand I think like if I have a social media if I'm working with a brand and I have deliverables say it's like if it's a real forget it it's like at least a day of work even if it's an Instagram story I mean I text you sometimes and I'm like ask me how long that took me to make that Instagram story for a brand that's like two to three frames at least half a day and just like the brain space I feel like it's so I don't think people realize that it is exhausting, like the brain power because you really are thinking of so many things what the brand wants to blah, blah, blah, but also just putting yourself out there all the time.

Like, no, that is hard. It's a day and day out, like hamster wheel and everybody has this, no matter what line of work they're in. Yeah. I think it's a different kind of pressure. And I love that people are still like, oh, but do you have a real job? I'm like, it's 20, 26. Like, this is such a legitimate real job. like the work that goes into everything, not just with the podcast, but with like huge brand deals.

And then like at the same time, you wake up every day. And it doesn't matter what content you put out yesterday, you have a blank slate. Yeah, you got to keep going. And even if you don't feel like it, like you have to come up with new content. And I always say it's so hard because I'm not a creative well. Yeah. And so not only do you have the partnerships and all that, which I'm so grateful for, but then you also have to be coming up with like organic and interesting organic content to try to like get more reach and also keep the people around who are already following you and like provide value for your audience and everything and there's just so many moving pieces and then of course the scrutiny and I had cast demico on my podcast I love cast I do too and we were talking about like the online hate and

everything and I was like I love it it motivates me and then I was like well I think I wasn't exactly like clear. I don't love it. Like, you've seen some of the stuff that I get day and day out. People are crazy and mean. People are horrible. And it's like sometimes I can just take it and let it roll off my back. For the most part, I do. Yeah. But then somebody gets you when you're dealing with a sick family member or like a loss or you're going through something really hard or you're in a like down mood, you know, and somebody is like, I don't know. Just digging. People make, they say the most horrible thing. and that part I don't love. I don't think anyone gets used to. I mean,

yeah, I think you can, you know, I think people let it roll off and all that and you guys, you guys as creators get used to it, but no, no, I remember learning about Reddit like a year ago.

And I remember going on a couple of my clients, like yours and another one in it, like I think I got really emotional and just like mad and sad for you guys because one, it's like, there's just so many wild stories. Like, obviously, I know you really well. You know my clients really well. But it's just mean. And I just don't ever get the, like, mean girl. It's not criticism. It's just mean. And it's wrong. Like, they couldn't be more wrong about things. It's like wild the things that people come up with. Yeah. Stories. I don't even really care about that because I never look. So it's like it doesn't exist to me almost. Like I know it's out there, but it, but I've never seen aside from, I've talked about this, checking it one. in 2022 when I was getting back with Chuck and I was like, whoa, this is crazy. People had the craziest theories and I was like, this is all wrong. Like it's fantasy land. But it's the messages to me and the comments and everything. And the thing that gets me is like women cry about transparency.

Yeah. Demand transparency, especially when it comes to beauty stuff. I've been nothing but transparent. Right. And it's weaponized against me. Everything. single day. And I'm not trying to turn this into like, poor me, like victim thing, whatever. But I think it's something for women to like think about, you know, like the same people that are like, oh, they're like lying. They had certain, blah, blah, blah. And then like somebody talks about it openly. And then it's used against them. So what is going to make somebody else want to be transparent when that's how it's received? Like it's so hypocritical. Yeah. I don't get the. And it's just like, why are we tearing each other down? Like I just don't get it.

But, like, yeah, I don't know. I feel like you have been so open. And I think the scrutiny over beauty is just, like, amplified when you're on screen and live in Southern California. And it's just, yeah, I don't really think about it in my life. But if I were you, it would be really hard. Like, just constantly have that. Like, ugh. And it's funny, too.

Like, I remember I posted something last week. I don't remember what it was. But somebody was like, oh, yeah. well, you know, I saw a photo of somebody who had gotten like a facelift or something. And it was like, yeah, her face looked amazing. But then I zoomed in and saw her hands and they were so old and scary looking. And I'm like, people are complaining about like the beauty standards and women and how unfair it is. And then we're doing it to other women. Like we cannot win. Do you feel like if you how do I say this? If I had never talked about it? Yeah. Like what do you feel like the flip side is? Like if you

were never talking about it. How do you feel like those people, do you think it's better to be transferring or do you feel like it's better, it's like not better either way? At this point, no. I mean, I was having like an existential crisis last week because I was just getting it in droves like from every direction, like just an onslaught. And I was like, I regret ever saying anything because that has become the narrative about me. And I'm so much more than procedures that I did years ago. I haven't done anything even in years. Like, I'm so much more than that.

And I get reduced to the surgery person. And even like Jane Fonda, who has accomplished way more than me. Okay, everybody. We love, comparing myself to Jane Fonda. But she talked about it openly. And then she said, like, I'm not talking about it anymore. because then people put me in that box as like the surgery person, you know? And it's all they want to talk about and ask about.

All they want to talk about. And I really appreciate. I went on Gabby Reese's podcast recently. I don't think the episode is out yet. It was the most thoughtful interview. And like we included some beauty stuff at the end. But like about so much more like the things that I've done in my life and like recovery and, you know, and I'm like, this is so refreshing because most people just want to ask me about like surgery.

And I'm like, I don't even know. Like, I don't think about it. I didn't think about it at the time. I did it. It is what it is. It's done. It's over. It's in the past.

And I think on the one hand, because I put out a lot of beauty content, people get the idea that it's like my life. And it's like consuming or whatever. And I'm like, no, it's just content that performs well for me. And like, beyond that, it's like such a tiny kind of insignificant part of my life. Yeah, we don't even talk. I'm like, I talk to you all day every day and we don't talk about beauty. Ever. Never.

I'm like, oh, yeah, I know you do beauty and people love it from you, but. Yeah. There's just so much more. Yeah. It's a hard part about being a female. I just feel like, I mean, there's always that like guys aren't talking about this. People aren't asking guys about it, even if they've done something. It's just.

They are starting to a little bit. Like, there's some men that have had like procedures. And I always say this, but it's like the narrative around people changes. Like, if people don't like the outcome of whatever you did, they use that against you and they judge you as if you wanted that. It's like, you know, and there are some men who have had outcomes that like people don't think look good. And then the narrative around them changes. And it's like, oh my God. Like, why did he?

And it's like anybody who's going in to get a procedure done wants to just look refreshed or whatever. Like they're not. Yeah. So it's like the doctor's skill is like. that judgment is placed on the person who went in and elected to do it. Right. But I feel like men are getting a little more heavily scrutinized only because in social media, like, it's clickbait.

You know, there's so many accounts where they put up a before and after. They talk about what somebody may or may not have done. It's a way for like doctors and providers to grow their accounts on social media. It's cheap, low-hanging fruit, in my opinion. But they're not scrutinized to the degree that women are. and men don't hate the men that do it. I was just going to say that. It's just different, though, because the men don't get the hate from men. They get it maybe from women who are like, like, oh my God, he looked so much better before, like things like that. Yeah. But it's not the

vitriol that women have towards other women. Yeah. I do not surround myself with women like that. Like I just do not understand the women hating women. Thankfully, I don't know anybody who would ever leave a comment or message somebody or say anything mean just the meanness it's like there's one thing about like talking right we all talk to our friends about people but I'm like talk to your friend about this and like why do we have to come at it with such meanness like I've just never understood obviously I think it comes from you know a lack of confidence whatever but just like also just the meanness like I've never understood mean people no I think it just makes them feel like better about themselves for a second, like I think people are addicted to feeling superior to other people for a split second.

In this episode, Chelsea and I are talking a lot about what shifts in your late 30s and 40s, hormones, skin changes, hair changes, recovery not being what it used to be. It's not dramatic, but it's definitely different. And you start realizing that you just can't do the same things that you used to do. You need to change your approach. That is why I've been consistent with Armour Colostrum. We live in an environment that our best, biology was never designed for stress, artificial light, endocrine disruptors. All of that impacts your gut, your immune system, your skin, your hair, your recovery, throw in natural aging. And things just feel different, like I said. So what I like about Armara is that it works at the cellular

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subscription starter kit by going to Fatty15.com slash well. And using the coach, Well at checkout. Again, that's fatty15.com slash well and the code well at checkout. I saw a good question on here. Hold on. I know which one you're going to ask. Do you know what I'm say? Because we have the same brand. We have the same brain. It was like a good question about do you feel like women? What was it? Like you get procedures for confident. Is it? It was like is beauty, maintenance, empowerment or insecurity? Yeah. There was one about confidence, but I think I deleted it. Yeah. Like does it make you more confident or less? Yeah. Or just like can secure confident women still want to change their appearance?

Yes. It's like, duh. Yes. Yeah. I can say like, yeah, I never, as somebody who has done things, I never went into something thinking that it was going to make me more confident. And I'm not more confident now than I was before I did anything. That was never the goal. Ever.

I mean, I'm sure for some people, that's a byproduct maybe, where it's like, oh, my. my God, like I love my eyes now. Like I look so much more refreshed or something. And like, yes, it can make you feel more confident, I guess. But like, I think a huge misconception around anything, whether you're doing your skincare, whether you're coloring your hair. I mean, how is it any different, you know, like we're doing our nails. We're coloring our hair. We're cutting it. We're styling it. We're doing brows, lashes, like all these things, you know. Like, I think whatever you want to do to like feel your best, that's okay. Yeah. I mean, I do think it gives confidence. It's like it just gives a, you know, it's like you're just going to feel better about yourself.

But I think. But you have to start at like a baseline. Yeah. You can't. Yeah, your whole like completely lacking confidence and self-esteem and go into it and be like, this is the thing that's going to like change me. Right. That's true. That's like body dysmorphia. Yeah, I think. I just don't get why people care what other people do to their face or to their bodies or to their hair. I don't understand because I could not care less. Somebody does something and even if I don't think it looks good, I'm like, good for you. Like you went out and you did what you wanted to do. And I think that like huge misconceptions are one that people are doing things to try to look younger. I was just going to say that. Yeah. And I was talking to it was either Miranda or Maria yesterday about this, probably Maria, where we were talking about like doing. beauty things and we're like it's not to look 25. Like I don't mind looking 40. Yeah. I just want to look like my best 40, you know? Your best self. Yeah.

I think that's like such an interesting conversation of like I don't think it's a lot. I'm sure people some people are obviously trying to like younger, but it's not like we're trying to look 15 years younger. But you're like you just want to look good for yourself like at whatever age and whatever stage that is. Yeah. And the worst with beauty. You keep it simple.

I keep it simple. I feel like. But it works for you. Yeah. I think people have interest. Like I feel like you also just like keeping up with like what like not procedures, but like lasers or skincare, blah, blah, blah. And I guess I just don't find it interesting.

And so it's not in my radar. You know what I mean? I'm just like, what's the simplest thing I can do to like feel good? but I also'm like is that just like a time thing but I think it's just an interest I was like obsessed since I was a kid with two things fashion and beauty and figure skating like the math what's her name episode oh my god gold medal Chris texted me when I was here yesterday and he said babe Alyssa won the gold and I like started tearing up I'm like get you a man that will text you the results when you're in the studio of the figure skating finals yeah I mean I was like

fashion and beauty obsessed and my dad is a doctor. So I grew up having a real interest and fascination in the medical world. Like I love medical stuff. Oh my God. Yeah. Like I can't get enough of it. Yeah. And during COVID in 2020, I thought I was going to go back and go to med school. And I took a year of classes. And then I was like, no, not because I didn't want to necessarily, but it's two completely different lives, you know? And it's like, I just thought of, okay, by the time I'm like done with everything, I'll be like almost 50, which there's nothing wrong with that. But then what? Right. I see the schedules of my friends who are doctors. And of course now you can be like a social media personality doctor or whatever. But I was like, I don't need to be the expert. I can have the platform where I have the experts on. And I have so

many amazing conversations with doctors. But yeah, that's been like a fascination of mine. And my mom and my grandmother wanted to go back to medical school, but it was like not the time when like women were doing that. So it's like runs in my family, I think. As I've gotten older, I've combined like my passion for like all things medicine and like medical related things with beauty. And I just think it's fascinating. I've never thought of that with you, but it is true. Yeah. Like I feel like in general, you are just interested in medicine and understanding. This is where you're really. You're smart and I don't think people realize it. I mean, I think people know you're smart, but like, no, I don't think they know. No, I'm like, wait, what? Like, you're talking like, you're just

up on it and smart with it. Thank you. I don't know. And that with beauty. Yeah, it is kind of a mix. Yeah. I think I, I think it's just some people have like a proficiency almost for it. Like, I think maybe because I grew up around like medical talk to, like my dad would talk at the dinner table about medical things and my mom loved it and he would be like today I had a patient presenting with XYZ what do you think it is like and she would diagnose you know it's just something that's like come naturally not that I'm like a doctor or anything but like I can keep up with like research and conversations you know a lot about it things like that I've also like had health stuff where I've had to kind of be on top of it okay when it comes to beauty is there advice that you

got in your 20s that you now think was a lie I mean I feel like you've talked about this so much, but I guess it's not advice, like the sun, the being in the tan, I mean the overplucking, the tanness. I still like really miss the sun and laying in tanning beds. I know you were talking about this. My parents, they live in the Midwest, they went to a tanning bed last week. No way. Yes. And I was like, you guys, what are you doing? They're like, we just want to be warm. And I'm like, have you heard of a sauna? Like, what? They need to get a sauna or a red light bed. I know. I was also talking to Maria about her red light bed yesterday. Oh. And Miranda has a red light mat that has a laser in it. And I was like, oh my God, you need this. I'm like, that's the modern day tanning bed. You can get like a red light bed where it's top and bottom. You get the warmth, but you're getting like all the red light benefits. Oh my gosh. I do love a red light. Yeah, but beauty advice. I feel like I wasn't even thinking of a beauty advice in my. I.

my 20s. Yeah. I wouldn't say this is like 20s, but I would say definitely in our teens, like heavy physical exfoliation. Did you have say knives? I knew you're going to say that. Is that the apricot scrub? I would like put it on top of a washcloth and just like go to town. Yes. Yes. And then just be red. Follow with the astringent. Do you remember like the sea breeze ashtrine? I just remember like things hurt in your face. Everything hurt. Yeah. It was raw. Yeah. Like, yeah, that overplucking, but that's kind of back, like thin brows or like no brows. It's kind of back. It's funny how everything comes back around. Yeah, for younger people. Not for us, I don't think. Are you watching the JFK, the love story? No, I told Chris last night we have to start it. It's inspiring everything. But really? Yeah, I was trying to think of she has little brows, but. Yeah, she had really thin brows. Okay. Not like, but they were shaped. You could tell. It wasn't just like. It wasn't just like. overplucked, but they were thin. I remember just like plucking so much. My high school yearbook picture. We're lucky. Both of ours have grown back. I know. Mine grow so long, so fast. I had to go

get them cut the other day because they're like, I don't know why. I don't do anything for them. Just natural? Yeah. Like one thing that I have going for me. What do you feel like you're going to be doing for beauty in the next like five or ten years like what are you learning about i feel like you're learning so much about it like but i don't know what's legit and what's not i think there's so many like new innovative exciting things but i don't know how effective they are like with all of the peptides and like terry de brough dr de brough when he was on a few weeks ago he was talking about how in like two to three years they're going to be able to kind of stop the physical I'm like, what do you mean? I don't know exactly how. I think for me, like, at least for the next

five years, maybe. It's more about like preservation and maintenance than anything else. There's no surgery that I want to have. I'm not doing filler. Mascaros said I don't need sculptra, probably thanks to fat transfer six years ago, five years ago whenever I did it. I don't do peptides. What are a peptides? A peptides. A pepter. Peptide is like a signaling molecule. So here you go with your doctorness. So for example, like GHKCU, that's a popular peptide. It's like a copper peptide.

And it basically signals your body to produce more collagen. So they have all kinds of peptides, anti-inflammatory. Obviously, like, I mean, GLPs are a peptide. Yeah. I'm not really abreast of them because I don't do them. Yeah. But like it's what everyone's talking about. I think you need to be careful, though.

Like if you have certain genetic predispositions for certain cancers, like, or if you have a history of cancer, I think you need to be really careful because I think that they can accelerate growth of certain ones. I don't feel at the moment like I need to mess with any of that. I'll do like a yearly laser, you know, because at this age, like my old sun damage is starting to come out. Yeah. Can you tell me which laser I need to do?

I don't think you need anything. No, I have sunspots. Like, what do you, where do you start? What's like a basic laser? I mean, very, very basic is like clear and brilliant. Okay. But I would say if you're going to do it, just do like a fraxil because not only can it help with things like fine line and pigmentation, but it can also help to like sloth off any pre-cancerous cells.

Oh. So if you were like in the tanning bed and the sun a lot when you were younger, like it can, it can be. potentially slightly preventative when it comes to certain skin cancers, not like melanoma, I don't think. But I think it's more like bang for your buck. Clear and Brilliant is marketed as like a baby fractal and it's kind of like a no downtime laser. But you also have to do more to get the same result that you would get by doing one fraxil. I'm all about doing like the bigger thing and just do it once and be done with it. People will try to tell you that you need a series of fractal as well. I don't know. I've only done like maybe three in my life once a year, 2021.

22 and 2023. I haven't done it since. Wow. But I'll do one this year. Okay. But I think like there's so many good treatments. I did PRX recently, which is a no downtime peel. It has tricoloracetic acid, which is like what TCA. It's like the typical peel ingredient, but it has hydrogen peroxide and somehow that buffers the TCA to not peel the outer layers of your skin. And it just helps it like on a deeper level to kind of regenerate. I don't know. I liked it. How do you like decide what here we are like talking so much about beauty. I guess we're not talking about procedures, but like I'm always at loss. I feel like whenever you go somewhere, you just get sold different things. Like how do you feel like you find a regimen that works? You know what I mean? With like out being sold, like where would you go for like a starter kit

for like women who are not as abreast on everything? Like how do you kind of know where to start? You just like find one esthetician or what? I feel like you're very in the know about skin care and lasers and all these things and I am not. So like how do you know like where to start or like who to trust or I get lost with it? And I feel like a lot of busy women probably feel the same. I think you need to find one person that you trust. Like an esthetician? Yeah. I mean it depends if you want to do lasers and stuff. like I would find maybe like at least a nurse practitioner. Okay. In general, like I don't really do med swas or anything like that.

Like I would find like I don't know. Like at a derm's office? At a germ. Okay. At a plastic surgeon. If they have somebody who does treatments, I feel like those are usually. But like even still, you have to be so careful with who you go to for lasers. Like I know somebody who went to a famous Beverly Hills dermatologist and she got like burned to shit like on her chest.

on the internet? Oh no. No, no. Yeah, that was the chemical. That was Sonia Dikar. So, yeah, I mean, it's hard to find the right provider, but I would just ask people who you know, like, who do they go to, who do they love, people who can give you, like, real testimonials. And like, for me, I have Jen, Holland. Yeah. Shout out Jen. But I love her. Yeah. She's so conservative. And she doesn't try to sell me on anything. And she's usually, like, who I go to for things. And then I also have separately a dermatologist who I do skin checks with every six months. And I have since I got sober. Yeah, you're good at that.

You're like, I got my skin check. Because I have a family history of skin cancer. And I was like a tannoholic for so much of my life. Yeah. And he does lasers and stuff too. He's who I did my last froxel with in 2023. So I think instead of like trying to follow trends and like if you see me posting about a laser, like don't immediately go do that laser.

find somebody really good and then you can show them like the video and ask is this right for me because like every skin type needs something different. Yeah. Depending on your concern. So I can't say that there's like a universal thing. I do feel like fractal is like in general pretty well tolerated. Okay. It's got to find your gen. Find your gen. Find your gen. Yeah. I want to talk about something I think women especially need to stop being afraid of, which is creatine. For years, it's been marketed like it's just. for men trying to bulk, but the reality is creatine is one of the most studied, effective supplements for women, especially as we age. In your 30s and 40s, we start losing muscle more easily, recovery changes, bone density becomes more important, even cognitive performance can shift, which is why I use momentous

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At 40, you can be doing all the right things, topicals, growth factors, peptides, expensive creams, and you still feel like your skin just isn't holding on to moisture the way that it used to. A big part of that is increased transepidermal water loss as we age. Our barrier function weakens a bit. We literally lose water through the skin more easily. So you can put moisture all you want on the surface, but if you're not supporting hydration internally, you are probably missing a huge piece, and that's why internal skin care has become non-negotiable for me. I've been taking rituals, High Asera, which is a clinically studied

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morning during the week, you're like, okay, walking into my workout, talk to you at nine. And I'm like, What? Yeah. How do you do that? Yeah. How do you manage to fit that in and stay consistent? It's the mornings. Like it's got to be the mornings for me. Something that's been really helpful for me is working out at home. I was like very much into classes and going out and doing things in the morning. And I feel like one of the biggest hacks when you're busy is figure out how to work out from home. Like I love a class. But if you can just take something, it's just like, it's just like, like I have to do it. You have to set your alarm. You have to have your clothes laid out. Like, you just have to go into it and find ways to be able to work out even if you have kids at home.

Like, I don't know. And something that has been life changing for me is finding like a group of people who are also really into fitness. We have this group and I think it's like been so cool for my husband and I basically every Saturday my friends host this like workout thing where a trainer comes. He trains the women first. And the guys watch the kids. And then we swap and he trains the guys and the girls watch the kids. Is that what's Tivon? Yes, with Sivon and a bunch of friends.

And that's just like every Saturday morning. We've had it for years now. And I just think finding those pockets of friends, too, that you're doing something with. That sounds so cheesy. But, for me, you just got to, like, get up and do it. And find workouts that you love. As lame as that sounds. I love the Sculpe Society.

like they are like a fun workout for me but it's just getting up and doing it and like even if you're tired even if your kids woke up I mean yeah I know you've had like sick kids too like this season has been non-stop and you're still doing all the things I mean not always you know like I'll go weeks without doing a workout if I'm sick or my kids are sick or whatever but I also think it's just that like picking up and not not getting into a phase where you're not doing anything, like just getting back into it, even 10 minutes, 20 minutes. But for me, I think it's like anything that's habitual.

You have to just put it into your day in the same way every day and then it happens. And finding workouts you like that don't feel punishing and don't feel too hard. Like I don't like hard workouts. Yeah. So I won't do it if it's too hard. Yeah. And I think we, so many females, especially with all this, like, heavy lifting blah blah blah think it has to be so hard i like to lift but like if something's too hard

i'm not going to do it again it's not going to feel good i'm going to be sore for a week and then not work out and then you're not working out so any things that are not too hard yeah do you feel like there's a body standard that you still chase like i don't know i feel like for me when i got sober and people were probably like this in their 20s as well. Like you're chasing a certain physique. It's kind of in your 30s too. Yeah. I feel like I gave that up a long time ago. Yeah. And your BBG after your BBG era. Yes. BBG was like, that was my gateway into all of this. And at the time, like I just didn't know. No, none of us did. We were all doing that. Like all doing the crazy, high intensity, plyometric. So many pushups. So much jumping. So many. burpees and everybody was doing macros and like social media was different at the time.

We were all posting our progress and before and afters. And like I kind of took it to the extreme because I thought that like that was health and wellness. And I was like, oh my God, I'm getting in like crazy shape. And then my body shut down. Yeah. And I feel like I don't know. Like I don't have any. I don't know if you do. Maybe this is part of like aging. I think it's part of aging. I don't really think I do anymore. think about my body at all. No. I mean, I think of the Kardashian arms. That's always like the goal. Skinny noodle. I was going to say if there's one thing. And I love my girls that listen to the podcast because sometimes when I post pictures, they'll send me the pasta emoji. Yeah, they know. And I'm like,

I love you guys. You know, like I get some people are probably like, that's disorder. Like the like, let's all lighten the fuck up, you know. Like, women. Their arms like great. Arms. Yeah. I want skinny, strong arms. Yeah. No, but I think you have to release. I mean, I think also after having kids, your body just changes and it is what it is. And I think there's something really cool that comes with that. You know, you're like, bodies just change. Things are saggier. Things are stretched out. Like, but whatever. I don't know. There's just less pressure. But I will forever. Like, like, you're like. You're like, bodies just change. Like. Like. try to have the Kardashian arms. Yeah. No, it's not genetic for me. Me neither. No.

Sometimes, like, if my inflammation is way down, like, I don't know, my body fluctuates so much. My weight doesn't really, but my water retention. The puffiness. It fluctuates a ton, I think, because of all the anihistamines that I have to take, like, makes me retain so much water. Even in Hawaii this past week, people were like, oh, my God, you got your boobs done again.

I'm like, no, I didn't. I'm like, that's the last thing I would do, first of all. Yeah. And like, second of all, I always had like boobs before I got the implants and I took them out. And like they just fluctuate a lot. Sometimes they're tiny and sometimes they're like huge. And you know this. The day that I got to Hawaii, what the fuck? I got my period. Yes. And it was the worst period. And I was like water. Like when that morning when we went out, this is like Instagram versus reality. By the way. Yeah, pretty picture by the bee. It was raining the whole time. We went. And we went. And that morning. That morning. We went. And that. It was like, to his house to check on like progress and everything. The sun happened to come out. I put my shorts on. I could not zip them like shorts that are like loose on me normally. And I know I didn't gain weight. I was so bloated. When we took that picture and my boobs were huge. And when we took that picture, I started getting like the ovary twinges. And I was like, oh my God. And then that whole trip I had like the worst period ever. Like I was dying. Have you ever? Have you? periods got worse. I always thought it was like, I mean, I feel like the doctors say your periods get worse after having kids, but do you feel like your periods have just gone worse with age? Yeah. That's just like a sure. Something we get to deal with as aging women.

I know when I talk to around our age, they all say that. Yeah, like, yeah. I don't know. I know people who are microdosing terseptide just the week during their period, I think, and they said it like completely eliminated all of their period sometimes. And I was like, that sounds good. Yeah. I know. And there's like hormones and things like that. I think it's maybe just part of perimenopause.

I feel like I'm starting. Have you felt like the effects of perimenopause? Yeah. My hormones? I'm psycho. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

I'm getting like the night sweats. Yeah. Me too. Like I feel like I used to only get that when I was on my period. Yeah. And now I'll like wake up. I'm like my shins are sweating. Like how are my shin sweating?

I used to wear those silicone chest pads to like prevent because I sleep on my side and like I just my skin there is thin. And no problem. I used to wear them like in my mid 30s. And now they don't stay on for like 20 minutes. As soon as I fall asleep, it's like off. Because I sweat in my chest. I'm sure people listening are like, that's not normal. Go to your doctor. Normal. I think it's like normalish. But I think also like like HRT can help with that. I definitely need hormone replacement therapy. Oh, see, this is like a new world. See, this is, I'm just, like, how do I find out about all this? Listen to my podcast, Chelsea. I do not retain anything. I'm like, I just feel like it's overwhelming. It's just too much.

I'm like, I want like someone every day to just be like, you need to go check on this or you need to do this. Chat, GBT, I guess. No. No. Who can tell me? I'm going to text you every day. My chat.

GPD is so bad by the. way, didn't I tell you this? It's like so it's sabotaging me. No, I think you just have to like go to the doctor. Go to the doctor, but also prioritize like what's important to you. So even if like I'm such a big fan of like pen to paper and sitting down, even if it's just for five minutes and like getting really clear because sometimes when it's all in your head, it's so overwhelming. It's like, oh my God, like do I need to do lasers? Do I need to do hormones like what do I do about this and if you just sit there and you're like okay you can divide it into like the pillars of your life or something like mental health beauty physical health whatever I don't know what you want to work on or like what you feel like you need to kind of like

check it on yeah and just like okay like or just like what is feeling off yeah for me it would be like hormones what else do I have That's really it. Like I can just tell that they're so different. Like I have a week of the month where I'm like, feel amazing. That's when I need to be doing all my content and everything because the other three weeks, they're like too tired. You're very self-aware. I feel like I feel like I go, go, go and like don't stop to notice how I'm feeling so much. Yeah. And it's super attuned. Yeah. You're very like in tune with your body. But I meditate. Yeah. Are you still doing waking up? Yeah. You got. me on waking up at by the way. It's so good. I told Miranda about it yesterday because she does

Vedic meditation and I was like which is similar to TM. Okay. Do you still do TM? Yeah, not all the time, but yes, it's like a tool in my toolbox. But I love waking up because I feel like, I don't know, that's the one. Everybody asked me all the time, what's the thing your ex-husband did? So I saw Chuck. I don't know. I see him all the time. But like when this happened, it was a couple months ago maybe. And I was like, something's different. I'm like, what is it happening? Because I know him so well. And I'm like, there's something different.

And this is something that people who dedicate time to meditation have, something that Miranda had, something that a lot of people in recovery who I meet have, they have a presence to them. Where you're in the room with them and you're like, there's something different. They're grounded. They have presence. Like, I can't describe it in any other way. Like a calm? Not even just a calm. They have, you can feel their presence.

I can't, I don't know how to describe it. Sounds amazing. And like a groundedness and just almost like a lightness. Like it's really, it's like that Genesee qua. You know what I mean? The reason that I started doing TM was Chuck and I, when we were married, were out to dinner with this couple who are sober. And they were both, I think in their early 90s at the time.

And they were so playful, so present. so grounded, so light. And I was like, what is your secret besides like recovery, obviously? Yeah. They had like over 50 years each of sobriety. And they were like, oh, we've been doing TM for like 50 years. And I was like, uh-huh. I want it. That makes sense. Yeah. But when I saw Chuck, I was like, something's different about you. Like what what's going on here? Because I know you too well. And this is like not. I've never seen this before. And he's like, I don't know. He's like, I'm doing this meditation waking up. And I was like, I need to do that. Yeah. It's different. It's different from anything I'd ever done because it's non-duality meditation. So it's like kind of clearing the veil that like you and I are separate or like that I'm

separate from this and I'm separate. Yeah. It's like it really broadens your like vantage point on life and your perception and like you realize like is consciousness like in my head no I know like it's been so cool yeah everyone needs to try it it's like 10 minutes a day it's like I do it with my red light usually in the morning and it's just like and like the meditation thing I feel like like when I had like sin silence and was trying to do that kind of meditation just didn't work for me I like that it's like a, it is guided, but it's also teaching you about consciousness and you just feel great after it, but you also kind of feel like you've learned something at the same time. And I notice it coming up during the day, you know, if I'm feeling like anxious or stressed about something. I'm like, where is that like living?

You know what I mean? It's really hard to describe if you don't do it. Yeah, you just got to try it. Wait, didn't we talk to somebody on their team? I think that they actually gave us a code because I tagged them when I was telling the story about learning about it from Chuck. So I am going to find that and put it in show notes. I think that it's something like 30 days free and $30 off in annual membership. They don't do partnerships with like anybody. So this is something that we are just exploring because I'm so passionate about it. And this is not sponsored or anything in any way. But, I'm going to drop that in show notes because so many people ask me, like I get a million DMs of what is the meditation that your ex-husband told you about? So we'll put that in show notes for you guys. Shout out. We love.

Shout out waking up. Okay. Let's do a few to close out here. Some like miscellaneous ones. Okay. What does having it all look like at this phase of your life? I think just being content, like being content with work, being content with my family life. and friends, I think that's a hard question.

It is a hard question. I think like having peace of mind. Yeah. Is just like for me having it all, it's having peace of mind, having enough health to where I can like live the life that I want to live. Yeah. I say that cautiously because like shit happens. And as you get older, you realize like life happens.

on life's terms and like just because if you're dealing with a health issue or whatever it doesn't mean that you can't still have it all. Yeah. Having like a purpose, I think is so important. And that doesn't necessarily mean like working the job of your dreams and like everything is perfect. Like I struggle with that because I feel like purpose is so hard. I think you have you find a sense of purpose through sobriety. Yeah. Right. And like I think to me like work is purpose. like being a mom as purpose, but is that enough? I mean, I guess so. Yeah. When Mark Manson was on, we were talking about that because I think a lot of people here are like, find your purpose and life and like find your passion. And, you know, he was like, it doesn't have to be your job. It doesn't

have to be even your family. Like he had really good tips on what to do and I can't remember them. So listen to that episode. Be a good person. But yeah, like for me, recovery is number one. And I learned in my recovery. Like, my primary purpose in life is to stay sober and help another alcoholic and put that first and keep that first always. And it's like not my whole life at all by any means, but it's what's given me a life. And I get so far into the weeds with things. And I use that as my tool to like get clarity and figure out what to do next. And, that was something that Chuck would help a lot with too because he shares that purpose. Yeah.

And it doesn't just mean in recovery. It's like, how can I utilize that same principle outside of recovery? It's like, how can I be of service? It sounds so cheesy. You always say this though. Yeah. But like my job is very self-centered. Yeah.

So self-centered. I get so sick of myself. And I get so far off into the week. and social media is changing a lot and like all these different things and what do I do and so many things and I can like spin out about it. And I talk to like Chris too and he has really good perspective because he has this mindset without even being a recovering alcoholic. He just innately has like, yeah, I'm like I don't understand that. Does he meditate? No. But he has a very service oriented mindset like even in his work. He's like, oh, I don't care. I just want to help people.

You know? And like, anytime I'm off in the weeds, like, oh my God, like, what do I do? And I'm so overwhelmed. I have all these jobs and what I don't know, like my content and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, okay. How can I be of service today? Yeah. To my audience or whatever. And obviously sometimes, like, you have to post content. It's just a picture of me. It's not helping anybody. But like, for the most part, you know, there's something that I can do. I think just think that's like a good goal for everybody to have. in life is like, okay, I don't know what the next move is, but I can ask like, how can I be of maximum service to the people around me today? Yeah. And then it's always going to go well. I love that. It sounds so fucking Pollyanna, but it's true. But it's true. I feel like I, like, lead with that to just like literally every morning to my kids and like, be kind. Like, I just feel like even as lame as it sounds like being kind is a purpose, like. Especially now. Yeah. I just, I'm like, treat people well, treat people the same. Like, I don't know. Leave people better than you found them. Yeah. I'm just like really simple. It's simple,

like be a good person. Yeah. And try hard and give to others. I don't know. I always, people ask me a lot in Q&A is like, are you happy? I'm like, I remember hearing this speaker in recovery talk about this. And he said, he just articulated it in such a great way. And I always, And he was like, the goal isn't happiness. And Sam Harris talks about this too. I feel like in waking up. The speaker was like, I have peace and I experience joy. And I was like, well, if that is not the dream.

Perfectly said. That's all I. It's peace. I feel, yeah, to feel at peace and then to experience moments of joy. Yeah. That's like all you can ask for. That's what I feel like change. changes to as you get older. I feel like you ride this like, I want to be happy. I want to have fun and it

kind of like works together. And then as you age, you're like, you truly just want to be at peace. Like I want to be at peace. I want to be able to kind of like do what I want to every day and like make decisions for myself. But it's at peace. And you feel it. You feel it. You feel when you're like, I literally feel like shaky when I'm not at peace. And you can feel and you're like, what do I need a change in my life? Okay, I'm working too much or I'm going out too much or whatever. whatever. Like if you don't have that baseline, I guess that's like what freedom and like living well feels like now. It's a true luxury. And I get that like, especially in today's world and circumstances, like it really is a luxury. Yeah. And like you're privileged to have peace because a lot of people just

fundamentally don't and can't like in today's world. But that's another topic. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I think that, like, that's the goal. And I think that that's something that only comes with age. Like, your priorities change. Yeah. I think it comes with age so much. I remember, like, I used to read so many, like, self-help books or, like, there's just things that you have in you innately that you can't change. Like, I used to read so many books on, like, being a people pleaser, how not to care what people think. But, like, some of that's just in you. And, like, as you get older, it's just such a gift. You just, like, kind of chill. You just, like, kind of chill out with yourself. Yeah. And I feel that so much right now. And I'm just like excited for more of that.

Mm-hmm. Do you feel that? Yeah. It's like what we were talking about in the beginning to like tie it up with a ribbon. It's like this obsession with self, like being relieved of that because people pleasing is just trying to like be a chameleon and adapt to like fit whatever you think people want you to be. And like all of these things like it's just I think that it's it happens when your attention goes from being focused on yourself which is natural when you're younger to being focused on other people whether it's your family whether it's your clients whether it's whatever and I think like it's such a good like lesson for people and goal that like I don't know it's such a recovery But it's like through work and self-sacrifice for other people. Like that's where I find peace. Like that's what we say. But you don't have to be in recovery to do it. And I just think that like it's something especially now that everybody should, I don't know how we got on this topic. But like yeah, we got deep. Yeah. Should try and do like every day, you know. And it's like whatever your problems are, if you start thinking about other people, the more I think about you, the less I think about me. And that's a good thing. Yeah. You know.

And just like really thinking about, I mean, how small so many problems are. Yeah. You know, we are so privileged. I know. If you kind of go and expand yourself of like what's the worst case or like what's this problem going to be in five days or five months, like that always grounds me so much. Oh my God. Stop stressing out. Especially in our line of work.

Yeah. Like it doesn't matter. Yeah. But yeah. All right. Well, we didn't get to advice. We'll do that next time. Yeah, did we give an ounce of advice?

No, but I think it was good. Next time. Okay. Thank you. Thanks for having. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked the episode, and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe.

It goes such a long way in supporting the show. Follow the show over on Instagram at well.pod. You can also follow my personal Instagram at Ariel Lorry. I'm always sharing. great clips from the episodes and we also have full episodes on YouTube as well if you want to watch in entirety. Thanks for listening. Dating in this era isn't casual. It's strategic and emotional and sometimes it still feels absolutely ridiculous. Welcome to We Metadakmi, the OG dating podcast that meets you right where you're at and gives you the real rules for

dating, marriage and life beyond the ever elusive happily ever after. I'm Lindsay Metzilar and I've been through it all. The apps, the ghosting, finding the one, the ring, and yes, even the baby. Expect ultra-honest guest conversations, personal hot takes, and unfiltered advice where I give it to you straight, no exceptions. So sit down, tune in, and take notes every Sunday because the rules of dating may have changed, but the standards higher than ever. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.