Well with Arielle Lorre - 46: AMBER ROMANIUK - Binge Eating, Effects on Digestion and Hormones + How to Break the Cycle

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

In this episode I talk to emotional eating, digestive and hormone expert Amber Romaniuk about the binge eating cycle and how to stop it. We unpack how binging affects the body, and break down the mental processes behind it. We explore the parallels between binge eating and addiction and share our own journeys of how we overcame this challenging, painful habit. Amber has amazing tips for how to stop, and takes your questions from Instagram.    If you want to support the show, please leave a review & subscribe! ❤️   About Amber: www.amberapproved.ca www.instagram.com/amberromaniuk   About Arielle: www.theblondefiles.com www.instagram.com/ariellelorre www.instagram.com/theblondefilespodcast     See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Onccccc Borgue I'm Aria Lori and this is the Blonde Files podcast where I talk to experts, influencers, and inspirational people in the world of wellness and beyond.

Whether it's mental health, spirituality, nutrition, gut health, hormones, exercise, meditation, entrepreneurship, beauty hacks, and procedures, I cover it here with real conversations and even realer guests. I know you're as curious as I am, so I'm asking the questions for you and you get to listen in. Welcome to the show, everybody. I have such a great guest on this week to talk about something that so many people have asked me about, binge eating. So I had my therapist on back in January, and we talked about eating disorders and why they are usually present. But in today's episode, my guest and I get into the nitty, gritty of the crazy addictive cycle of binging and eating to not. And our emotions. We have all done this at some point, okay? So I know everybody can relate. So full disclosure, when I started my Instagram account four years ago, I was stuck in a bingy cycle where I would eat healthy all day and then at night I would eat like a pint or two of Arctic Zero, that awful, no offense, Arctic Zero, awful low calorie ice cream with like a microwaved Quest bar.

in it because, you know, hashtag health. I don't even know what they put in that shit to be low calorie and it wasn't satisfying, hence the binge. So in my experience, there were two components to my binge eating. There was the emotional, which I think was because I was still kind of fairly newly sober at that point. I was single. I was just feeling a lot of feelings that I hadn't felt before because I was so used to numbing out with drugs and alcohol. And then there was the component. So in my attempt to be healthy, I was eating things that weren't exactly nutritious and at the same time I had gut and hormone issues going on. So my hunger cues were all over the place. And if you want to hear about that more, you can track back to my episode with Dr. Will Cole. But the most

interesting thing that I got from this conversation today was just how similar binge eating is to addiction with the shame and the secrecy and the promises we make with ourselves and then subsequently breaking our promises with ourselves. So if this is something you struggle with, or if you're ever turning to food to numb out, you are going to love this episode. So I want to give you a quick disclaimer. Mercury retrograded all over us on this episode. after we recorded, the audio was lost. I had a heart attack, and we were able to get it back, but it's a little bit quiet, so you may need to turn it up after my intro. I am not an audio engineer, so I don't know how to level all of this stuff out. But good news, as you guys

probably know, I signed with Dear Media. So in a couple episodes, we are going to be nice and polished and refined, and it's going to sound amazing. I am so excited for the next level of this podcast, and it's possible because of you guys. If you like this episode or any episode of the podcast, I appreciate your DMs, you guys. I really do. I always love connecting with you, so you can still DM me, we can chat, but if you want to support me, if you want to support the show, please leave a review. Subscribe. Leave a review and subscribe.

It's the only way to take an action that directly helps the show. So my guest is Amber Romaniuk. She is an emotional eating, digestive, and hormone expert who helps professional women achieve optimal health through mindful eating, self-care, and overcoming self-sabotage with food. Amber overcame her own emotional eating after gaining and losing more than a thousand pounds and spending over $50,000 on binge foods and spending five years balancing her hormones and digestion. Now she helps others achieve body freedom,

so they have the confidence and health to create amazing lives. She also has a podcast, the No Sugar Coding podcast, which I will be going on very soon, so stay tuned for that. And without further ado, Amber Romaniuk. So thank you so much for joining. me. Thank you so much for having me today. I'm super grateful to be here with you. Yeah, I'm excited to talk about this topic. We were just talking offline about how prevalent of an issue eating disorders and binge eating and just this kind of negative relationship, right, with food and eating, I guess, is today. And we were talking about why that is. And I'm sure we will unpack a lot of that in this episode, but let's just start by talking about your story, because you have lost cumulatively

over a thousand pounds. You've spent 50 grand on binge foods, and you spent five years healing hormones and digestion. So I want to really hear how you got there. Yeah. And so for me, it was really a journey that started from a very young age, but that I didn't even realize was having an impact on me as I grew up. So there were a couple kind of key moments, I guess, that were life-altering moments that had a significantly negative impact on my body image and then the relationship that I had with food. And the first one for me, and I know a lot of people can relate to this is when I was about five. It was my first day taking the school bus and I got on the bus and the older boys called me ugly and fat. And it was just, it was such a shocking moment because

I'm standing there thinking like you don't know me. How can you think that of me? But because you're a stranger and you're thinking that of me, it must be true. And then it just made me very insecure. I didn't want to be friends with boys because I didn't want to get hurt. But that, you know, I, you always hear a lot of different stories of people being bullied and called names. And it's just, it's true. It can really define us at such a young age. If we don't know how to brush it off or be confident that then, you know, I just grew up in this space where I'm like, well, I guess I'm just always going to kind of be in this place where I'm insecure and I kind of like am shy and just kind of stay behind the curtain. And, you know, I started

probably my first diet, I think I started to do when I was nine or ten because again, I assumed like, oh, the thinner girls were getting more attention and they're more popular and I want to be like them and I want to have the perfect life. And so, you know, comparing myself to others and assuming that that's what you need to do to have the perfect life, really got me on this bandwagon of, you know, restricting with food and, you know, cutting calories. And at that point as well, like food was a huge part of my life. Like my mom and I kind of revolved everything we did together around food. And I think part of that was because she was diagnosed as multiple sclerosis before I was born. And so for her, she gets tired or fatigued really quickly. It was hard to walk long distances.

So you think of, you know, things girls do with their moms, like you go spend a day in the mall and go shopping or like go and, you know, out for lunch and, you know, walk down downtown and just hang out or like plant gardens or whatever because we had an acreage. And there was just things that we weren't able to do together. So I feel like food was a compensation. And so there was never any limitations on like quantities or what I couldn't have. And so I just assumed I could kind of eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and had no idea at that point. the way it could impact my health, my digestion, my mood, my weight, like all these different things that I just assumed, well, I guess I'm just always going to kind of struggle with my weight. And so, you know, that really evolved into my teens.

And again, I just like yo-yo dieted a lot. And then what really, you know, was kind of a moment of a huge shift was when I was in my early 20s. I believe I was 21. And a relationship had ended and I was just so hurt. and I couldn't eat. Like, I just, it was so hard to even try to force myself to eat. And what I noticed through this is I started to lose weight quickly.

And I assumed, oh, if I have the perfect body, like everything will be perfect. And then my life will just be amazing. And so I kept restricting and I started over-exercising. It was like two hours a day, seven days a week. And I, you know, lost the weight really quickly. And I had what I thought at the time was quote unquote the perfect body. But I wasn't happier. Nothing was fulfilled.

I was still very upset. And in fact, I found myself becoming even more critical of my body, like picking my body part, like, oh, you reach this, you know, goal weight. Like, maybe you should try to lose three or four more pounds. Like, oh, you should tone your arms more. Your stomach could be flatter. Like, your thigh gap could be bigger and, like, all this stuff. And I was so arrogant about it. And then not only that, but I found my physical state of health started to decline.

Like, my energy levels were getting lower. My cycle disappeared. So there's these things that were happening. And it was just getting hard to maintain, you know, restricting and eating like a thousand calories a day and working out two hours a day. And I just want to, yeah. Sorry. I just want to touch on something that you said because this is something I wanted to ask you anyway. And I think it's so important and especially for people to hear right out of the gate.

But when you get the quote unquote perfect body because I got there too, it's not. It's never enough. No. Right. It's never enough. The goalpost is going to keep moving down the field and it's just never going to be enough. We're not going to be satisfied. And I think so many people have this notion that if they get the quote unquote perfect body, whatever that looks like for them, it's going to magically fix all these different things in their lives. And I think I know a lot of people who have what people would consider the perfect body. And they're the most self-critical, the most unhappy and dissatisfied people that I know. So I think that's really important. Sorry to interrupt.

Oh, yeah, no. And thank you for bringing that up because what's one of the most valuable things that I learned out of that? And you're right. It was like striving for that next goal post because it never was enough. And, you know, what is below that, you know, unhappiness with achieving the perfect body is when you don't feel good enough, you have a void. you have your own insecurities. We all do, but there's this perfectionist mindset and there's this

perfection that we're trying to attain. But perfection does not exist in this world. And so if we're trying to always strive for something that we're never going to reach, you know, and it is external instead of internal, we will never fill that void and we will never truly be happy. And I think that's one of the biggest things that really flip the switch and fueled my binge eating. Because once I felt like I couldn't really attain it and that my life didn't become perfect after I, you know, got to that certain weight. I was just like, well, screw this. Like, I'm tired of starving. Like, I want to eat. And I specifically remember going to a barbecue. And I brought a salad. I'm like, I'll just eat the salad. I'm not going to allow myself to have anything else. But then

the longer I was there, I was like staring at the ice cream cake and I was like staring at the burgers and the buns and just all these other things that were there. And by the end of the night, you know, I had eaten multiple pieces of cake. I stole or took the whole bar of chocolate that they were going to make s'mores with, went to the bathroom, ate the whole thing, left, went to Dairy Queen on the way home, bought my own ice cream cake, and just like binged on it. And that was the first time that I remember, like, actually being aware of, like, losing control with food, eating until the point of, you know, being so bloated and feeling so unwell.

And then having this panic of like, oh, my God, I messed everything up. now tomorrow I need to, you know, work out really hard. And that really fueled that vicious cycle. And so then, you know, in a period of five months or four months, I gained 50 pounds and I was at my heaviest and I was just so embarrassed and felt so shameful and unhappy. And then I was like, oh, I should have been more happy when I was, you know, at the other end of the scale because now I'm here and I took it for granted. And it really, that's what fueled the real start of the awareness of the binge eating

and the emotional eating is I would just spend my days like buying food and eating it and watching movie and numbing out. And I think a huge part of that had to do with, I didn't know how to cope with stress in a healthy way. I didn't love my body. I hated her. I was self-loathing all the time, you know, picking my stomach apart. I wish I had a flat stomach.

My cravings were through the roof because I kept, you know, overeating all these fast foods and sugars and salts and, you know, baked goods and all the stuff. And I had now completely isolated myself from my world and I was just essentially revolving everything around food other than, you know, having a lot of. go to a job that I didn't really care for. And I would imagine that like the physiological impact too of eating those kinds of foods probably it's a huge impact. Repetuate, you know, the feeling of anxiety and I don't know, whatever else, whatever other

negative emotions you were feeling at the time. Yeah, it did. There was a lot of, there was a lot of anxiety, shame, grief, hopelessness. Like what have I done? what am I doing to my body? I have no idea what I'm doing to my body, but I can't stop because, and then there is this other side of it all, though, the side of it where when I started to first think about eating the food or reaching for the first few bites, I would get this high, this serotonin dopamine high,

and I'd be so excited to eat the food and it would, you know, boost my energy and my mood for, you know, moments before it all crashed. But that was the other, that was like the love-hate relationship with it was I loved it because I love the high and the excitement around, you know, buying the food and starting to eat the food and how good I'd feel temporarily. And I hated the afterward, the being too full, the cravings, the bloating, the weight gain, how shameful I felt. So it was just like this vicious cycle. And that's why I really, to me, believe I had a food addiction because it was just to the point where I was so addicted to food that my cravings would consume my day. I can focus on anything else. I'd have to, like, drive to the store, you know, scrounge up some money because I was like a starving student at the time. and like I would go and buy my binge food instead of getting gas or you know paying my bills like that's how severe it was for me and I know it's different for everybody but it really was an addiction and

I really knew where I hit rock bottom was when one night I had finished a binge and I had you know went online to actually research like health issues that binge eating can cause and it talked about like long-term issues with like your heart and your immune system and your digestion and just like all these things and it just, it really scared me because I thought, if I keep doing this at this level, and I think I was about 24 at the time or 23, I just thought, if I keep doing this, I don't know if I'm going to see 30. Like, I really don't know how much more my body can take, you know, because this was significant amounts of food. This wasn't just eating a bag of chips. Like, it was multiple items every night. for, you know, multiple weeks in row and then I'd stop for a while and then it would fall back in.

But when I dug through the garbage after finishing a binge to grab another cookie because I wasn't quite satisfied, that's when I really hit rock bottom and knew that this was a serious problem and that I didn't want it to continue to consume my life. I didn't know what I was going to do at the time, but I just knew that I had to do something about it because I was more than the binge eating. I was more than the body obsession. And that's what really inspired me to try to get onto a different path. I was too ashamed or scared to tell anybody about it at the time so I didn't seek out help.

I just had this feeling for whatever reason at the time that I need to figure this out for myself. And obviously now I feel like I know why because I get to help other people. But it was scary to consider, you know, trying to stop this. essentially. Yeah, it's so interesting listening to you talk about the different kind of phases of the addiction because before you even said that it was an addiction, I was like, oh yeah, this is exactly what I went through with drugs and alcohol when I was in active addiction. There is that high before the actual high. The high before the high is sometimes better than the actual high. It's true. And it is this kind of vicious cycle with the shame and the guilt and the

remorse and the self-loathing and the withdrawal and then, you know, it kind of starts all over again. You know, you had this moment of clarity, which is amazing. So what were the first steps that you took to heal? Yeah, that's a great question. So, you know, I really started to get curious about some of the things that I was eating that would trigger me to lose control. And sugar was my number one. I was so addicted to refined sugar. And when I started to read that sugar breaks down and impacts your brain the same way heroin can, it shocked me because I thought, no wonder I can't stop eating it. There are properties and things here at play that I have not been aware about. And so when I started to learn about that and how it impacts your gut floor and that it's the primary food source for, you know, unhealthy bacteria and

candida and the more you feed that, the more it grows and makes you crave sugar. So have these two like kind of this mindset, you know, self-sabotaging mindset going on and this like little, you know, candida monster going on in my large intestine that's just like fueling the cycle and then, you know, learning about gluten and how it was contributing to my bloating and that it also can excite the same parts of the brain as heroin and the casian and dairy and that I'm like addicted to all these foods that are essentially made in certain ways to almost make you be addicted to them or to really, you know, rely on them. And so it started to fascinate me to learn about these things because it made me feel like there wasn't anything wrong with me.

And then I started to change the way that I was eating. And for me, I decided to go gluten and dairy-free because I just felt a lot better without them. My mental clarity was better. It took me dozens of attempts to cut out refined sugar, but I felt for me that I had to because it just felt like if I don't cut out the refined sugar, I don't know how I'm going to be able to stop this. So for me, that was a decision that I had to make for myself. And, you know, for some people they can do without cutting out certain things. But I had to cut it out for four years because it was just, I was too afraid to go near for fear of losing control.

So food changes were important, starting to understand how food was impacting my mood, my gut health. And then the other part that was really important was starting to understand that I felt so uncomfortable feeling my feelings, that I didn't love myself, that I didn't know how to take care of myself or cope with stress. and that, you know, I had this body image of obsession because I didn't love my body. And so the emotional part of the journey was so important for me to go on because I really started to realize it's not a diet that's going to fix all of this and help me lose the weight again. It's not a diet that's going to help me, you know, break free of emotional eating because I kept thinking, well, I just need to find the right diet, vegan or paleo or like, you know, cutting out certain things. And so it was a huge wake-up call for me that the diet isn't going to

change this. It's me willing to go inside. face, you know, the negativity and, you know, address my lack of self-love issues, my insecurities, ditch the diet and weight mentalities, and go down a completely different path that is, again, unknown. So for me, building a solid self-care routine, balancing my schedule and not over-booking my weekends was important because I found social time would throw me off the edge with food and really starting to use things like meditation, deep breathing, gentle yoga, EFT tapping, journaling. I read a lot of, you know, different books like Louise Lhe, you can heal your life.

That was one of the first books I read that really resonated with me about self-love. So as I started to embark on that journey, the binging was happening less and less and less. But it took time for me to get to the point of building the full self-acceptance and understanding. The reason that I'm binging is because I have a void and I'm trying to fill it with food and diets and weight loss, but that that's never going to fill the void. So the accumulation of doing me emotional and for me also spiritual work and shifting the way I'm eating and shifting the relationship I have with food, balancing my hormones and digestion.

Like all of that was part of me learning how to love myself. I think it was an equation. Like all the steps went to that because I think some people think, well, you know, do I just stand in the mirror and tell myself over and over that I love myself? or like what is that even how do you even get there and i think it's an accumulation of all the things you do for yourself as you're on the journey i love that and i love that you're touching on the spiritual aspect and it's interesting because i'm thinking of again like the drug and alcohol recovery and i'm active in a recovery program and i have been for six years and it's we we learn that

an addiction is basically like you're saying it's it's filling a void and they say that the void is a spiritual malady. And, you know, people call it a God-sized whole, but it doesn't have to be God. It can just be any kind of spirituality. And I think that that includes learning how to love yourself. And it includes, obviously, more traditional spiritual things like meditation, but it's, like, more holistic than that. And there are a lot of different things that fall under the spirituality umbrella that do fill that void. And it's, I mean, I think food. is just as addictive as drugs and alcohol and even harder to learn to deal with because we have to eat.

That's why eating disorders are so hard to heal and recover from because, like, you don't have to drink every day and you don't have to, like, snort cocaine every day. But you do, you are faced with food. You have to eat, you know, so it's so hard to. find that balance. So I want to talk about the emotional part of it, but I'm also curious how you dealt with the hormonal imbalance and I'm assuming like adrenal issues and gut dysbiosis and all of these physical issues because when that happens, it's so hard to tune into your body and to trust your body's cues, right? Like how do I know if I'm

having a craving or if this is like my gut issues or if it's my horse? Or if it's my hormones or if I'm just fatigued and how did you navigate all of that? Yeah. So that's a great question. And I think one of the biggest first steps was dealing with the emotional eating and having that be able to calm down more so that I could really become more in tune with my body and learn how to listen to her because when you're binge eating all the time and you're just always bloated and exhausted, it's so hard to decipher if you're eating certain things that are upsetting you or if it's your hormones or why you're craving certain foods. And I think that's one of the biggest breakdowns with a lot of programs today is they're still too diet focused or too weight loss focused. Instead of going, you know, we have to address the root causes as to why you're emotionally eating and actually give you tools and support and have you identify your triggers because what can end up happening is if we don't address the emotional eating first,

and say you get food sensitivity testing done and someone says, well, you have to cut out these 20 foods or you have to go on a candida cleanse or, you know, you have to do something really intensive to balance your adrenal fatigue. That can all end up being emotional eating triggers and or your results are not going to be as great. You're not going to have as good of energy or achieve that, you know, reduction of bloating because you haven't addressed one of the pieces at the root as to what's fueling these hormonal and digestive issues. So I wanted to mention that first because we really do have to address that. So for me, that was the first important piece. And as the binge eating was calming down and I was starting to recover, I really, you know, was able to identify that, yeah, I've got really bad bloating. I'm super sensitive from this vicious cycle and all the different diets I went through. It did a number on my digestive system. So, you know, I started to learn that I need to take a digestive enzyme for a while to help me break down my food because I've taxed my pancreas and your pancreas produces your enzymes

that break down your proteins, fats, and carbs. But because I over ate so much, mine is tired. And so kind of having that enzyme to help take the load off and taking a good quality probiotic were helpful. Regarding the candida or the dysbiosis, that was something that I had to wait a little while to deal with because a lot of the plans to get rid of it felt very restrictive. And I tried a couple times. And it actually fueled the binge eating for me.

So I actually learned how to figure out a way to. balance my gut floor without having to go super restrictive because I just yeah every time I would try to get rid of it I would fail and go and eat all the sugar and it would just repopulate it. So one of the ways for me with the cravings that I started to identify as a lot of my cravings were either emotional or yeah they came from a physical symptom so just for an example like sugar you know from a physical standpoint is often a sign of yeah gut floor imbalances blood sugar imbalances, poor sleep, as well it could potentially be that adrenal fatigue. If you eat a lot of sugar, chances are you crave more sugar easily. And from an emotional standpoint, this really hit hard

for me, but a big emotional sign of this is like, where is the sweetness missing from your life? And I feel like for me, that was a massive reason why I crave sugar, because, again, I was expecting to have this void filled externally, and I was lacking, going inside and creating the joy and happiness myself. And so when I started to navigate, you know, am I having this craving today because I'm feeling sad and I actually need to give myself, you know, do some kind of self-care or do something really fun?

Or, you know, do I actually need sugar? Because what I really found is my cravings were refined and the more I healed my body, I just stopped craving all that stuff altogether. Salt often we crave if we have adrenal imbalance, if we have mineral imbalances, if we're high stress. Crunchy foods is often in anger and frustration. Chocolate is magnesium deficiencies and comfort. So the more I started to kind of read and research and then experiment on myself and, like, you know, work on balancing my deficiencies and then deal with the hormones.

Again, the cravings just started to subside, which is so amazing because they were so bad and so debilitating. And then the hormone piece was huge. So through the binge eating, my exercise routine and just like this whole vicious cycle I was in, my cortisol levels, ended up getting to, I think, about 1,600. And I find I like my clients to be around like 350 to 400. So it was significantly high. My thyroid was low. My estrogen was 10 times higher than it was supposed to be. My progesterone was too low. So I had a very imbalanced hormone picture. And again, this was at about age 22. So for me, taking time to just quit the gym and stop all the self-sabotaging exercise, really focus on self-care, resting, you know, walking, yoga.

yoga, infrared sauna, just things that were what my body needed and what my hormones needed really helped that to regulate. And, you know, again, keeping the emotional eating at bay, managing it, and breaking free of it was super important for me to also balance my hormones because what I realized when I really started to love myself is I don't need to do a certain diet or exercise a certain way to look a certain way. I just want to be healthy and I'm so grateful that I've been gifted a second chance because I wasn't sure if my body would come back from all of the torture that I put it through and it did. So I really felt committed to ditch the diets and everything that was just keeping me stuck because it all does. It just keeps you distracted and it keeps

you stuck from actually healing. So the hormone piece was super important because as I balanced those that again, like I said earlier, the cravings went away and my gut health got so much better too. It's really amazing that your body bounced back the way it did after. after everything that you put it through. And, you know, I can relate a lot. I think we all tend to be really hard on ourselves. And we feel like if we eat, we have to go punish ourselves afterwards to undo whatever we just did. And I love that you focused more on, like, nourishing things for your body.

So, like, walking and yoga and did you say LED light or infrared? Infrared sauna, yeah. And, you know, I found that was just so good for my liver and, like, just gentle detoxification, right? Instead of going on some hardcore cleanse and then making myself get sick because it was just too much for my body, right? So I, yeah, so many people write me and say that their bodies are in this state of, you know, disarray. And they're scared to slow down. They're scared to stop counting calories. and counting macros or whatever, and they're scared to stop doing high-intensity interval training and cardio. It's like this fear that our weight is going to catch us. Yeah, it's so true. And I think the dieting becomes almost like an addiction as well. And I feel like the exercise, this whole routine that we get caught up in with restriction

and burning calories and itself becomes an addiction because, you know, when someone hops on a new diet or new workout plan, they get that serotonin how they're like, oh, this is new. This might be the thing that's going to work. And they get so excited and forget about all the other things that didn't work. And then when that doesn't work, there's still that underlying fear of losing control with your weight and your body. And the irony of it is I so went through that when I was, I wasn't binge eating anymore. And I was working on my hormone issues. And I had this limiting belief, which was, I need to exercise to lose weight or maintain my weight. But I was gaining weight like crazy and I was not binge eating. And so I had to really work through that fear

and, you know, quitting the gym to truly rest and focus on healing my hormones and really honoring my body where she was at was so scary. But at the same time, I'm like, well, I'm gaining weight anyway. So what's the point in continuing to do this? It's obviously not what my body wants. And as soon as I started to rest and really surrendered and focused on truly nurturing my body and giving her what she needed, it's like any excess protection that I had started to put on, it just fell off. Like, I rested, I slept, I just hydrated and nourished my body. I treated my body in a kind way and it shifted and it blew my mind because we just get so programmed to think.

The only way is, you know, only eating a certain amount of calories and then doing really intense exercise. And I think that that mentality is so archaic now because it's about so much more than that. Yeah, the formula is a lot more complicated than energy in, energy out. So I want to go back to the emotional piece and just really get an understanding, like, what was it like in the beginning for you when you were kind of just starting on this journey and like it's nighttime and you're having an emotion and you're anxious or you're sad and you're feeling a craving coming on? how did you deal with that?

Yeah. So at first it was it was almost like I just I freeze every time I think about it still because I'd feel an emotion and I would almost just freeze and be like, oh my gosh, I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how to handle this. This is scary. The world's going to end if I feel this. So I would want to avoid feeling it by eating or distracting myself. And in the beginning, it was very difficult to step away from the urges and the cravings. And so I'd often go to the store and get the food.

But when I started to understand that I had trouble feeling my feelings and, you know, taking responsibility for my stuff and working on it, I started to breathe and just sit there and go, Amber, it's okay for you to feel this fear or this worry. It's safe. It's okay. The world is not going to end if you sit and feel this. And then I sat there and kind of like looked over my shoulder. I'm like, oh, nothing bad is happening.

Okay, maybe I can feel this. Whilst it's still uncomfortable to feel, I'm feeling my feelings. And as I started to recognize that then I could go, okay, I'm feeling worry or angry or sad. What do I need to give myself right now to deal with this emotion, right? Or to lift up my mood because I think it's so important that we feel the emotion first. We identify what it is and we process it and we don't just go. I can't ever feel anything but positive because that's not healthy either. And so that's when I started to really, again, get into this self-care routine where I would have like my, you know, I actually made a list of different things I could do for self-care to just remind me that it had ways to cope and deal with these emotions.

And even just continually saying to myself in just a kind voice of like, it's safe for you to feel like this is okay. You can do this. You can feel this. it helped me feel like I wasn't alone and that it had like kind of I had my back. I had my own back. And so that really started to help with, you know, recognizing that I was emotional, that I was triggered to emotionally eat and then step away from the food. And the other important piece of this was I started to ask myself, okay, you're craving something because you're feeling this way. Is this physical hunger? Do you actually need to eat? Or is this?

this emotional because nine times out of 10, it was emotional. And so once I knew that and then I also actually didn't need any physical nourishment, it also made me go, okay, now it's time to, you know, use my self-care tools to help me deal with this because it just was getting to the point where going to food, you know, not doing it for a while, going to food, all of a sudden felt really uncomfortable instead of comfortable and what started to feel more comfortable was actually feeling my emotions and dealing with what was actually going on, which was so amazing to see happen because when you're in the journey in the beginning, it feels so scary and uncomfortable to start exploring your emotions and doing the deeper work and actually

catch yourself and not go to food. And then what feels comfortable is just binging and being unhappy. Whilst it's not comfortable, it's a comfort zone because it's what you know. So the more you work on it, the more it goes the opposite, which is so it's a huge relief because it's so amazing when you can get to the point where you think about binge eating and you go, I don't want to do that at all. Yeah. Yeah, we're kind of programmed to not feel feelings or to be scared of our feelings and to just numb out however we can.

And I think so many of us do it without even realizing with like our phones, right? Oh, yeah. We're never, we're never without distraction. And so feelings are really intimidating. And I love that you, you just feel your feelings. Well, and I think it's so important. Yeah. And I, you know, I really believe from like a, everything is connected. Like I really believe from a physical, emotional, mental, energetic, spiritual standpoint, everything is connected. And if we're suppressing everything all the time, whether we're not allowing ourselves to feel, we're distracting, we're overbooking our schedules or we're eating, drinking, whatever it is,

I really believe that at some point, if we do not address and, you know, allow those emotions out, that they have a negative impact on our physical state of health and that they manifest into potentially like physical symptoms and physical illness. And so I really also believe it's important for us to feel and express or learn how to so that we can prevent that from happening. If you believe in that, that's something that I really, you know, when I read Louise L. Hay, I was like, holy, this is legit. I totally feel like if I, you know, let my anger go too far or if I have fear, like I get a UTI.

But if I can manage my emotions, I don't get one, right? So truly 1,000 percent believe in that. I always joke with my therapist about like how unfortunately sensitive my body is that I can't get away with having any like unresolved feelings or like not communicating certain things. In the past, I would just drink and drug everything away. And my first example of that was when I was about a year sober, I'd been in a relationship for like three years. And the relationship wasn't working anymore. But I had never dealt with a breakup sober. I was terribly afraid of feeling those feelings.

And I didn't know how to like gracefully exit a relationship. And so I was, you know, talking about it in therapy. And we were kind of like, well, maybe like you just kind of let things. be right now, like things will work themselves out and when it, you know, I'll figure it out. At that same time, though, I started having gnarly gut issues, gnarly period issues. The gut issues were the worst, though. I mean, that's when all of my issues started. And we couldn't figure out what it was and I was going to doctor after doctor. And then finally, when that relationship ended, I got better. That was my first experience with that. And ever since then, I,

I am a big believer in that and like trapped trauma. Yeah. Unresolved traumas and past issues and current issues definitely manifest and we've got to deal with them. We do 100%. And I think that's why building awareness and learning how to listen to your body are so important because I was the same way and I'm still to this day and very sensitive in different ways. And it's often only different emotional scenarios that will give me a physical symptom now. So, you know, having that awareness and then having different tools and means to cope with it and deal with it, it just helps you feel so much more confident and at ease with your body and that there isn't something wrong or like that you don't have the power to change it.

Because I think that's one of the most amazing things that you learn when you embark on a healing journey is like you are such a powerful being so full of love and all these amazing things. And you just have, it's that we have to take the time to stop looking outside of ourselves and go inside to discover all these amazing gifts. things about ourselves. Okay. So I want to do a Q&A segment because we got so many questions. Okay. So let's start with is binge eating a lifelong illness? That's a great question.

I don't believe so because I don't like labeling things as permanent. And I feel like, you know, labeling it as an illness almost makes it seem permanent. I really believe that it is possible for anyone to overcome it if they're willing to, you know, do the work, do their own life's work, you know, if you've been struggling with this for a long time, I would encourage you to get support with it. I think one of the only reasons that I didn't really seek out support with it was because I was embarrassed and because there was just something within me going, you've got to figure this out. And obviously it ended up being because now I support women with it too.

but I think, you know, connecting with someone that really resonates for you and you feel safe opening up to you and that can give you that support emotionally, physically, and help you gain the freedom. Like, it is so possible, but we have to be willing to do our work. And we have to be willing to take a different approach other than diets and exercise and weight focus. And I also think that it's important for us to take the time that we need to take for the journey. And rush it because it takes a different amount of time for everybody. And when we allow ourselves the time we need, we're far more likely to get there than if we keep rushing, pushing, and quick fixing and then giving up because it's not working.

I feel like you'll always be on like a healing journey or like a growth journey. Like I'm always, you know, building a deeper relationship with myself and, you know, working through other emotions and other things now. but you get to this place where you have a confidence where you just know that it's not going to come back because you feel so much better. You have the tools and the awareness and you fill the void. And truly, I do believe once you fill the void and you love and respect yourself, you don't want to disrespect yourself in any way. Yeah.

And we will talk about this in a little bit, but you coach people through this. Yeah. So there are resources. You also have a podcast and a website that I've. spent a lot of time on. Oh, good. So there are resources, and I totally agree with what you're saying. It's like the willingness, and I'm speaking more to, like, my own addiction issues, but I'm assuming they apply to this, just being willing to be open with somebody and be willing to try a different way, because we want to have control and do things our way. And in these situations, when our way keeps

leading us to kind of heartache, you know, we've got to be willing to try something different and maybe accept that we don't know what the right way is. Yeah, I love that and I couldn't agree more. And one of the most common things they hear from women who reach out to me is I've tried every diet, but none of them work. I have a good knowledge of nutrition, but it's just that I can't seem to be consistent. I can't stay on the wagon. And while food is one part, it's how. It's actually a much more minimal part than the mindset, the emotions, the patterns, right? Because it's our emotions and the way that we feel about ourselves that's then motivating our actions. So for coming from this place of lack of self-worth and not feeling good enough and insecurity and

fear and worry and panic about losing control with our bodies, we're going to be driven in an unhealthy way to do unhealthy things. But if we can shift that and go, you know what, yeah, maybe I want to take a different approach. I'm vulnerable, but I'm open. And I'm going to to find my courage and I have hope and I'm going to build this confidence, you're far more likely to step towards things that are going to really help you heal and feel whole and complete and feel good enough. Yeah, I love that. Okay. I have some good ones here. How about how to not eat emotions after a breakup? That's a great question. I think it's so, so, so important to first of all allow yourself to be upset, be sad, be angry, whatever the emotions are that you're feeling

from the breakup. I think it's also super important to, you know, set up new hobbies or like set up healthy habits. Like I know for me when that had happened, like I was spending more time with my friends. Like I was, you know, getting back into dance. There was certain things that I was doing that I think help kind of lift my mood or maybe you want a journal or maybe you want to journal or maybe you do want to talk to someone about it or, you know, maybe you take up, like, whether it's, you know, you love Pilates or you love going to yoga or you take up running or you take up hiking or just, you know, something, some way that you can deal with it, but have a tool or tools that are, again, not necessarily leading you to food. I think it's also important that if you find yourself

starting to go into this, what's the point mentality, right? Like, you know, some people, when they go through breakup, like it just really sucks and you think my world is over. Like that's it. Like it didn't work out. And I think it's to, you know, try to be as kind to yourself as you can and catch like negative self-talk. Like if you're picking your body apart or if you're being hard on yourself, just start catching that and going, you know what?

It's so true. Everything happens for a reason. And even though I'm hurting right now, I can still be nice to myself. I can still be kind to myself. I love gratitude journaling for things like that. So writing down five things you're grateful for or five things you're grateful that your body does for you, five traits you love about yourself. Because I think, you know, we can go through grief or herd or be upset.

But I think it's so important to also acknowledge the good things going on for us or around us because there are things if we take time to look for them. But if we just constantly are focusing on the herd and what's happened, And, you know, people say, well, there's nothing good. But it's like take some time and really think about it, write about it. Breathe. Visualize it. Yeah.

There's always good somewhere. Sometimes they just really have to look hard. Yeah. Okay. How can somebody stop mid-binge? That's another good question. So I think, again, you know, even if you started to binge, to ask yourself, like, am I doing this? I'm actually physically hungry and I, you know, went too far through the day without eating?

Or is this emotional hunger? Because physical hunger is really like your stomach growling. You might feel a bit tired. You get that appetite signal, the hunger signal. And so sometimes, you know, if we go too long without eating, we can end up overeating and eat really quickly. So if it's like, you know what, I recognize that I went too long without eating, I'm going to breathe, I'm going to slow down. I'm going to sit down at the kitchen table and I'm going to eat this slowly and just tune in and see when I'm full. That would be a way to address it in a physical way. But if it is emotional, which it usually is, it's to go, you know what? I recognize that I've already started to do this, but I don't have to continue. So, you know, how do I want to segue out of the binging right

now? And I find the most important thing is to put down the food, get out of the kitchen or whatever room you're in that has the food or feels vulnerable. So if you're at a party, like, can you go to the bathroom or go into a different room or get outside to remove yourself from what is tempting you and to kind of go, okay, well, if I didn't need the food, what do I need right now? What do I need to calm this craving down? Do I need to make a cup of tea? Do I need hydration? Do I need to get out for a walk? Do I want to write about this? I do think that the more we can step away from the temptation and use some other way to cope or to help shift us out of it, that you realize, wow, I can actually stop. I don't need to keep going. I think it's also important

to work on the all or nothing mindset. I really believe that a lot of, you know, women especially start to go, well, I've already messed up so I might as well just completely like throw in the towel today and just binge and eat whatever I want. And that all or nothing mindset can be really destructive because you essentially think I'm either 100% in on my diet or I'm completely off. So addressing the all or nothing mindset and going all or nothing is very extreme on both ends. It doesn't work. So what is it balance? What does it meet me in the middle? Okay. So I already ate through, you know, a few cookies or some chips or whatever it was. That doesn't mean I need to keep going and get to the point where I'm so uncomfortably full. So so what is something nice that I can do for myself now, right? So is it you're

bloated and so you make a ginger tea? Do you need water? You know, do you do some form of self-care? I just think it's so valuable that we can tell ourselves, you're not too far gone, you didn't mess anything up, there's an opportunity for you to learn from this and to go and do something kind for yourself to kind of counteract what just happened. I had a ton of questions about how to avoid eating when stressed or bored. And I feel like you can speak to this, but a lot of those practices would apply to that as well. Yeah, for sure. Those would really apply to most emotional eating triggers,

but with stress, we need to understand the root causes as to why are you stressed? And a huge cause I see for most people is overbook schedule. Because a lot of people overbook their schedule because they like to be that overachiever and look like they're always way too busy, or it's the perfectionist thing, or it's people pleasing, or it's because I'm too scared to feel anything. and I want to just distract my life so that I'm so busy, I don't ever have to deal with this. But what ends up happening is then we get stressed and we get overwhelmed and then we're triggered to binge. So it's so important we address the schedule and start to, you know,

slot in some, you know, whether it's evening self-care time, morning self-care, put a five-minute check-in somewhere through the day for you to stop and just check in with yourself and see, do you need water, do you need a bathroom break? Do you need a snack? And how are you feeling emotionally? Because it's those small check-ins and starting to build that awareness that's going to help prevent the binge eating. And often as I find even with my clients, like as they unbook their schedules and bring in balance, like they're not quitting their lives. It's just that they're realizing to be in the state, it's not serving their health in any way. And then with boredom, I think it's so important that we, you know, have different kinds of self-care.

So make a list even if you have to. And to remind yourself, you have different options. but then it's to also go, you know, is this boredom or do I just feel so uncomfortable with myself that I just can't sit here with myself and be silent? Because so many people just, they feel so nervous thinking about just being quiet and sitting with themselves and just connecting with themselves. So I think, you know, dealing with the emotional aspect of this and the insecurities and, you know, it really helps us to feel safe in our bodies and mentally, emotionally and physically. And then you can just sit with yourself and realize I don't need to suppress or numb with food. And if it is boredom because there's nothing to do, then it's like, okay, well, maybe this is a great time to go for a walk. Or maybe this is a great time to pull up my journal or, you know, read a book. Or again, like have your key list of five to ten items of self-care that you love to do.

Go through that list. Pick one, pick two, and get into them because it just helps you break the pattern. Mm-hmm. Okay, this is the big daddy of them all, the question that everybody has. How do I avoid nighttime snacking and binging? That's a great question, and I feel like there are, you know, there are different aspects of the answer. But number one, this is the first thing. So if your vulnerable time to snack or overeat or binge is the evening, what you have to know is you've literally built a neuropathway or a pattern in your brain that lights up the same time every evening that's telling you it's time to go and snack. It's time to go and binge. And it's just no different than sharing. Like say your routine as you wake up and you take a shower, that part of the brain lights up. So after, you know, a few weeks, you've had this pattern in your brain. And so what you have to kind of remember is, you know, even if you don't want to do it, there is this literal chemical, physical part of you that is pushing you in that direction. Then also,

on top of that, if you've had a stressful day, if you've missed a meal or a snack, if you're tired, right? Like multiple triggers can fuel this evening over eating. So that's where it's always great, you know, to recognize this pattern that's been created and that you can also undo the pattern and create a new one by shifting your evening. So it's like have your dinner. You know, I always encourage people to sit and eat mindfully without any distractions of TV, phones, computers, et cetera, and just sit and enjoy the company of your family or your loved ones. or your friends. And if you're alone, put on good music.

But to eat mindfully because you're going to be more satiated and it's going to, you know, have a higher likelihood of preventing the overeating. And then segue into some form of self-care. Again, have that list of five to ten things because that was a big thing for me. The evening was a vulnerable time. But I found the more I would sit and really focus on enjoying my dinner and eating it slowly and mindfully, I felt more satiated. And then that part of my brain would light up and be like, go to the store, get the food,

get the food and I'd be like, no, first, I'm going to try going into my room and meditating and just like closing the door and I'm not going yet. And I found the more I did that, the pull to go and buy this food and binge was less strong and the pull to want to do the self-care because I knew that's what I really needed. It really helped that neuro pathway, that pattern my brain dissolve and it really helped me build this new one. So I think having, you know, things that you're doing in the evening for yourself to help you unwind, de-stress, cope with your stressors if you have to, you know, have good family connection time, do something good for yourself. I think that is so important because if we just, in essence, rush through dinner, we don't

eat mindfully and we're stressed and we're not addressing any of that from the day, well, guess what happens? You think about, you know, having to go to bed soon and then you rebel and then it's like, oh, I just need an escape. And food is just such an easy escape. And then the next thing you know you're eating. So I think that's so important to address the habit and to have some really good things for yourself to do in the evening. I love that.

Okay. Can you talk about how you work with people and talk about body freedom and what that means? Yeah. So I'm an emotional eating digestive and hormone expert. And obviously what inspired me is the journey that I went through and realizing how many other women are struggling with this on different levels of their own. And to me, it really is about body freedom. So what body freedom is, is it is the opportunity to break free of the weight and the diet and the crazy exercise, addictions and mentalities that we've created. And to break free from our cravings, it is to be able to know that even if you struggle with adrenal fatigue or you have existing health issues or your digestion is bothered you for years, that if we can actually get to the root causes as to why you're suffering.

suffering physically and emotionally with time and with doing that deeper work and, you know, supporting you on an emotional and physical level. You can have that optimal health. You can reach physical body freedom and emotional body freedom. And so to me, that's really what it is, is that you can have optimal physical health, even with anything that's existing. And you can also have, you know, a really amazing, healthy relationship with your body and food. The other part of the freedom is that you really have peace of mind when it comes to, you know, you know, what you're eating, you're free of the calorie counting and the diet mentalities. And, you know, instead of fear worrying about losing control with food, you're

now in the space where you feel at peace with food in your body. So what happens is, you know, you because you love and respect your body and you learn this and you love how good you feel like you want to nourish your body with good foods most of the time. And there's also that open space for mindful indulgence because we're human and again when we're trying to break out of that perfectionist mentality, it's so important that we allow balance and that we nurse our bodies well and we also leave room for indulgence because we're human and that is also part of life. And as my clients do the work, they're able to attain that balance and build the confidence. And so that really is what body freedom is to me. And so, you know, when somebody reaches out,

I do offer a 30-minute complimentary body freedom call for people to book in on my website and I can connect with anyone anywhere in the world. But we talk about your health goals and struggles and, you know, what hasn't been working for you and, you know, why a different approach may be suited for you. And then I talk to how I work with my clients and provide information, of course, answer questions. But I find that's just, you know, a great way to connect with people. But then, yeah, we work together very closely.

My programs provide a very high level of support because you need it when you're vulnerable and when there's a lot going on. But, you know, for the women who do show up and they do the work, they gain the freedom they're seeking. And it's life changing for them. And it just makes me feel very grateful that I have the opportunity to support other women who are going through, you know, similar yet very different experiences than I did on my journey. Yeah. And like we were talking about before, so many people struggle with this. So such amazing work that you're doing.

and where can everybody find you? So you can find me on my website at amber approved.ca. You can also find me on Instagram, which is my name Amber Romaniak, R-O-M-A-N-I-U-K. And I have my podcast called the No Sugar Coding Podcast. And I do talk a lot about, you know, the things that we talked about today, more in-depth and a lot of other different mindsets and habits as well. So you can check that out on iTunes or any podcast app. Amazing.

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.