Well with Arielle Lorre - 465: Getting Cheated On, Leaving the Wrong Relationship & Beauty and Wellness Hot Takes with Alyssa Lynch

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Alyssa Lynch is a content creator, entrepreneur, and wellness advocate known for her candid conversations around personal growth, relationships, mental health, and living authentically.In this episode, Alyssa opens up about one of the biggest lessons of her life: leaving a relationship she knew wasn’t right and finding the courage to trust herself. She shares what being lied to and cheated on taught her, the fear of starting over, and why finding a healthy relationship can sometimes shine a light on the parts of ourselves that still need healing.We also discuss my marriage and divorce, healing in love versus healing alone, Alyssa recovering her period after years of stress and the wrong relationships, navigating histamine intolerance and MCAS, living with chronic health challenges without letting them define you, and the connection between emotional health and physical symptoms.Plus, Alyssa shares the wellness trends she’s over, the habits she had to quit when wellness became unhealthy, the beauty treatments she actually thinks are worth it, her favorite skincare products, and the practices that have made the biggest difference for her nervous system.You can find Alyssa at @alyssalynch on Instagram, TikTok, and Substack.This episode is brought to you by:Get 15% off at BON CHARGE by using code BLONDE at www.boncharge.com.Head to Nutrafol.com and use code BLONDE for $10 off your first subscription and free shipping.Head to paleovalley.com/well, or use code well at checkout for 15% off your first purchase.Head to ladder.fit/WELL for a 7-day free trial and $10 off your first month.Get 15% off your sitewide purchase and use code well at drinkspindrift.com. Go to qualialife.com/WELL for 50% off, and use code WELL for an additional 15% off your order.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. This is Well, a podcast about wellness in all its forms. I'm Ariel Laurie and each week I'm sharing unfiltered conversations with people shaping how we feel, live, and look. Come for the substance, stay for the honesty, and leave with the tools to be well, inside and out. Today I am talking to one of my very favorite people that I have met through this job of mine. I know that I say that a lot because pretty much everybody who comes on the

podcast is amazing, but I'm talking to Alyssa Lynch and she is somebody who I just feel like we are very kindred spirits and you're going to hear that throughout this episode. We have a lot of things in common, some good, some unfortunate, but we just really connect on a lot of different levels. And she is as down to earth as she is beautiful. And this episode is just really, really relatable. The last time that she was on my podcast was in the spring of 2023 and she had recently gotten out of a relationship. My relationship, my marriage was very much on the rocks and doing that episode with her at that time was kind of pivotal for me and I get into why in this episode and it was so fun to circle back with her now that we are in such different places in our lives and

so happy and thriving while still dealing with and navigating some real challenges. So in this episode, Alyssa opens up about one of the biggest lessons of her life, which was leaving a relationship that she knew wasn't right and finding the courage to trust herself. And she shares about what being lied to and cheated on in that relationship taught her. She's really open about the fear of starting over and why finding a healthy relationship can sometimes shine a light on the parts of ourselves that still need healing. And I know because whenever I talk about this, it seems to resonate with my audience so much. So many people are settling or feel like they're settling or they're in a decent relationship, but they know that it's

not the relationship that they are craving in their heart. And it's so hard for them to leave. We get into all of that in this episode. So like I said, I think you're really going to relate. We also talk about my marriage, my divorce, healing and love versus healing alone. We get into navigating histamine issues and MCAS and living with these chronic health challenges without letting them define us. We talk the connection between emotional health and physical symptoms. And then of course, we delve into all of the wellness trends, things that she's loving, things that she's over, habits that she had to quit when wellness became unhealthy. We talk beauty treatments, her favorite skincare products, and so much more. So please enjoy Alyssa Lynch.

Thank you. So good to be back. I know. Very excited to have you. I feel like I've wanted to circle back with you for so long to the last episode that we recorded, which was in spring 2023. And then like we started talking recently about some other things. And I was like, now it feels like a good time to like follow up on some of the life stuff. And I feel like we can relate on a lot. Totally. Yeah, we're always like DMing, relating. It feels so good to find people who understand the niche things sometimes that you're going through. Yeah. Well, I have to say, and I've said this to you before, but when you came on my podcast before and if people haven't listened, you can go back. It was, I think May or something, 2023. You had recently ended your long-term relationship. And I was still married. I had been separated the year before. And then we got back together. And I knew that it was like not the right thing. But I was in that purgatory that a lot of people find themselves in when they know. But then they try to justify and rationalize

and do all of the things to convince ourselves that, no, actually it's okay because the last thing any of us want is for a relationship to end, right? Because of the fear of the unknown. Like the fear of the uncertain. Our brains are literally allergic to that. And so I was in that place. And I remember feeling like a pang, like an internal thing of, wow, she did it. You know? And if anybody has that listening to this conversation today, listen to that. Because I feel like one of the things that resonates the most with my audience whenever I talk about it is leaving a relationship. I think a lot of people are with the wrong person. Totally. Even if it's a good person. Settling. Yeah, settling. So why don't we kind of start there? Yeah.

Because so much has happened since then. So much. Oh my gosh. I feel like 2023 was the most, I don't know, the most like transformative year. But I will say what's so funny is, and I'm so glad that that conversation happened at that time, like so meant to be for the both of us. And it's always, yeah, what we were saying about fear of the unknown. It's also if you're in any shape or form, a perfectionist, an empath, you know, a romantic. I could name so many different kind of words to describe that type of person. But I think there's also a big, like, guilt and shame on failing. And I say that with, like, quotes around it because it's not failing. But, like, when you put so much time and energy into something, it feels wrong to just be like, I'm going to leave it.

And I'm going to like, for me, I don't even know if it was as much of the scary part because I've always loved new chapters. Like I, I mean, it's, you know, almost to a fall. I've moved 11 times in 10 years. It's like the biggest red flag to say on a first date. So I would never say that. But I like, I love new chapters. It's thrilling. And however, yeah, I've, I've just always had that thing where I don't want to fail if I've, especially. I think when you, I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm an open book to a certain level, but in an intimate and romantic way, I'm very closed off. And so when I let someone in, it's like I just feel like I need to see it through to like such a point of almost like a detrimental point. And it's funny because after that I was like thriving and single and feeling so free. from, you know, what was, mine personally was a toxic relationship where I didn't know so many things.

There was a lot of lying and cheating and coming out of that and being happy alone was so thrilling. But I still, I think, you know, you can take certain traumas from certain experiences. And I think after that, getting into an intimate relationship with somebody again, I was really afraid of being cheated on and lied to again. because I will say I always, I never thought of myself as, and I know this is silly to say, but I've really never thought of myself as someone who would be cheated on because I am, I'm so sensitive to energy and I feel things and I feel like I would just, you know, thinking about the concept of being cheated on, I would be like, oh, I would know right away. There's no way that I would be with someone who could get away with that.

And I like was so wrong. You know, I so was. And I was like, I couldn't believe the talent of the lying, you know? And so I got into something. We said we did that podcast in May in like October. I got into another relationship. And it's funny how you can sometimes like go to the opposite. I went into a relationship with someone that sounds so bad. But like I wasn't really excited about,

but it felt safe in that time. It felt like this person is not going to cheat on me. And they're nice. And I can be, and I always said this in the beginning of that relationship. I was like, oh, I can just be any form of myself. I can be any form of myself. But it wasn't. an up-leveling version of myself. And I think that's something to look for in someone. It's like, yeah, you want to be your most authentic self and feel comfortable to be yourself. You also want someone who's going to push you to be the best version and push you to be better. And I was just comfortable to be myself because I just didn't care to be judged by that person because I didn't care enough. And like I can see that now in the moment I didn't know. So I got into something like that.

And it took me, you know, eight or nine months to be like, oh, my gosh. Like, what am I doing? Like, now I'm just, I'm settling. And honestly, I went from, like, a narcissist to an insecure person. And I don't even know what's worse. Like, truly, I don't know what's worse because what did your friends think? So I think that's something to, that's always something to be paid attention to. For sure. You know. Like really have noticed that. I'm like, yeah. I think with the five-year relationship where there was cheating before we did our last podcast episode, my friends, my friends were fooled as well. So they, it was just like, you know, they just felt so bad for me and were there for me and was like, this sucks. Obviously, there was signs, there was hints. We all kind of knew, but. like, dang, we were really fooled. The next one was like, I don't get it, you know, and it was like, okay, we'll support you. Like, you've been through a lot. You deserve to feel comfortable and to

feel calm and to not feel anxious. But to be honest, that was what it was like in the beginning. And then it got to a point where there was so much anxiety because I was dealing with someone who was so insecure that it was when you're, I feel like when someone's insecure in a relationship, a lot of the time, they can make you feel like the problem. You know, if you're like emailing a man because he owns a brand and this is what you do for a living. And because they're a male, there's a fight from it. And then you start to question yourself. And luckily I had been through what I I had been through and done the work that, you know, I didn't stay for any longer. And I don't, this person was not a bad person at all. I just honestly don't think that we aligned at all.

And so, yeah, after kind of listening, I mean, my family was like, interesting, really, you know? And finally, it took that lesson to get out of that and be like, okay, I'm not going to, to like go from one end of the pendulum to the other, I'm going to like, now I know exactly what I don't want and what I want and I'm going to have learned from these. And yeah. And then you found your guy. I did. Yeah. Like probably, you know, probably six or seven months later. And I know for some people that can sound, you know, I get a lot of comments and stuff being like, you're never single. But like I feel like I spend so much time alone, especially in the end of those, both of those relationships. Like I was single.

Yeah. You know? Exactly. Exactly. Because I get the same feedback. I mean, I literally, I mean, our divorce was announced in, I think January of 2024. And my boyfriend and my mutual friend had been wanting to set us up forever. Like when I was separated in 2022 and then in 2023, like I knew I was getting divorced and he's like,

oh my God, great. Like you need to meet Chris. And I'm like, wait until I'm like out of the house, divorce. Like I don't want to start this like this. That's too messy. And, you know, I really wanted to like do everything right so that I looked back on my marriage and didn't have any regrets and like wonder like, oh, you know, was I influenced by this or that? And so I was moving out in the beginning.

of February Super Bowl weekend. And I had to go to New York in the end of January to move my stuff out of our apartment there. And then I was like, well, I have time. Like, I'll just go down to Florida. He happened to be in Florida. So I was like, okay, fine. I'll have lunch. Like not expecting anything. Right. And then we've been together for like almost two and a half years. I mean, it's crazy. But yeah, a lot of people are like, wow, like you literally went from like one thing to another. Not people in my life. Yeah. Because they know. But I understand the perception. but I say that same thing. I'm like, I was alone. Like, not just when we were separated. And he would say the same thing, by the way.

Right. We were coexisting in the same house, but I was alone. And I was doing so much work around my part. And, you know, I really believe, and I saw a therapist friend of mine post this on Instagram, that you can heal alone. and you can heal in relationships. Like, you can heal in love because is there anything that holds up a mirror and a magnifying glass to yourself more than being in a relationship, especially a healthy relationship where a million percent. I feel like all my shit rose to the top being in a relationship with Chris because it's so secure

and it's so safe. And I'm so safe to, like, do the work on other things that I need to work on that came to light. being in a healthy relationship. So you're not also distracted on all the things you need to work on in your relationship. Exactly. Like I never realized that it was almost like I feel when I was single, I was just in this era of loving myself, my friends, my routine, like really remembering who I am and what I love. love again because, you know, I just, I pour so much of myself into my people that those times of being single were amazing. Like, they were so great to just have that time to be selfish, like,

truly. And then I think, you know, being in those toxic relationships, I'm just like completely occupied with trying to better the relationship, trying to help them with something. And then, yeah, being in a healthy relationship. You're like, like you said, the mirror is so, so real. And you also like call it, you know, I don't know if everyone would agree with this, but I really think there's something too, like wanting to be the most healed version of yourself for somebody else too. And for your relationship and for you.

Like it can all kind of coexist at the same time. Totally. But there's, I almost think when people judge not being single for long, I'm like, there was a time when I was single, I think for, you know, a couple of years. And being in like, little flings was so much more toxic to my mental health than being in relationships that I was learning such deep lessons from, you know? So I just don't think that there's a rulebook for that. No, I know. It's so arbitrary and it's based on absolutely nothing. I agree with you. I think that you learn so much in relationships. Yeah. And you learn what you can tolerate and what you can't and what you want and what you don't want. And I feel the same, like, to circle back to something you said in the

beginning. I don't feel like my marriage was a failure at all. We really tried. We fucking tried. We tried. You gave it your own. Moving out, moving back in. Moving out and moving back in. Doing the work, going to therapy. Like, and we really loved each other. And we still have a relationship today. Yeah, that's amazing. It was a different situation from what you went through with your ex. Yeah. That made it so hard. And that's like another thing that so many people asked me, because a lot people feel like they are settling. They're with a great person. And then they're scared. Like, what if this is the last great person on earth who I'm ever going to meet? He's going to want to be with me. And I totally understand that. Like, I had that fear. That's what kept me, I think, so long. And that was

the place that I was in when we last recorded. I was like, he's such a great person. I have a great life with him. Like, so how do you leave? For me, I came to a crossroads where staying was scarier than leaving. And that's when you do. And that's when you do. You know, it's a great life. I'm a crossroads. And And that's when you know. And I mean, and look at you now. And that should hopefully inspire so many people who listen to your podcast that, like, you had a beautiful life and a beautiful even relationship with that person. And you still do. Yeah. But now you've, like, found someone who it's just the alignment is probably just so much more right. Effortless. Yeah. Exactly. This is my guy. It was like from day one. And I was like, shit. I know. Same. Like I literally went to that lunch. I didn't even want to go. I had just gotten a spray tan. They put sparkly powder on me to like dry me down. And then I'm sweating because I'm in Florida. So I'm like dripping the bronzer with the sparkly powder. I'm like the scent. The scent. I smell like. Yeah. Yeah. You know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm like texting my cousin and my friends. I'm like, I'm not going. They're like just go. And I went. And I was like, it's always when you least expect it. Totally. Always. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny.

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slash well or use the code well at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. That's paleo valley.com slash well or use the code well at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. Do you have any advice for somebody who's in that place where they're stuck and they feel like either they're settling, maybe they're in a toxic relationship, maybe it's a good relationship, but they just know that it's not for them? I think there is so much truth to nothing will ever be perfect. And I do agree with that. there will be moments where you will feel misunderstood,

not aligned, not on the same page. Some people have way more of those moments, others less. I mean, maybe there's somebody out there who never feels that. Go them. I think I'm the type of person.

And I've like learned this from, you know, doing like deep therapy and even like astrology and human design and all of this, that I'm like the type of person who is always going to be searching for more, for deeper, for more intimacy. And that's not always like enjoyable. What's your moon sign? My moon's a Scorpio. Okay. So, yeah, you can understand. I'm a Pisces. So I'm kind of the same. Like, I have a very deep inner world and I require that depth in a partner. And it's like, here's the third.

thing is that I think I looked for that type of emotion in people. And sometimes it was just messy. It was like, I'm emotional, but I can't even be emotional because you're a mess. Yeah. And now I found somebody who is, you know, when we first met, he was able to meet me in that vulnerable state and get deep and get emotional. But I would say on a daily basis, He is not like that at all. It's a Sagittarius moon. He's like, freedom, adventure. Like, you know, like, don't dwell on it.

Get over and smile. And sometimes I'm like, I want to punch you in the face. Like, cry with me. Like, let's, like, be in a rom-com. Yeah. But that would be messy. Yeah. So, like, I'm grateful.

He gets me out of my, like, head sometimes and out of my emotions and we go and do something fun. And he's always smiling. But like nothing, that's what I mean when like I don't think it's always going to be perfect. And however, that does not mean that there should be a pit in your stomach. Yeah. That you should fantasize about being with someone who meets you in the ways that, you know, you emotionally really need. And so, yeah, I think like, I just, I really believe that there is someone out there for everybody.

And I really believe that way more people than not are settling. I 1,000% agree. And I think a lot of it is the dating culture and the fear around that, which I think is totally understandable. Like from all my single friends here, I'm like, oh, it seems like a shit show. It's tough. But to your point, there is somebody for everybody. And there are people who want to settle down. And also, like, I do.

I mean, you know, lucky for us, we both had incredible first impressions. Mm-hmm. But I think, like, good advice is giving people a second or third date when you don't know. Yeah. Because in this world, like, how can people not be jaded and put walls up and, have their nerves kind of reject some type of weirdness. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I think that too. A lot of pressure on a first date. It's so much pressure and people are so picky. Even when they're like swiping on these apps, they're just like, no, no. And I'm like, how do you know? Yeah. How would you know? I never got on the apps.

I was so ready. I was like, yes. I'm going to like get on. And I was like, I'm going to be single at the same time as my best friend. We've never been single at the same time. We're going to go have Euro summer and it's going to be like crazy. And then... These two freaks came in and earned it. He reminds me of it all the time too. He's like, yeah, I stopped you from doing that. Yeah. My boyfriend did the app saying, well, I'm just really throwing him under the bus. But like, I always like ask him about it. And I mean, it's so interesting. We've had such different experiences. He was like single in L.A. for six years. And I was like never really single. I mean,

when I was single, like I said, I was like, I was very much like alone. Like I wasn't dating. So I, we have such different experiences. And I think we both are grateful for the lessons we learned in those. Like, he's really grateful. He's like, I learned so much about dating, you know. Like, I'm sure you did. Yeah. No, Chris says the same. I ask him about it. He's like, oh, yeah. I like made a lot of friends. And I'm like, you've made friends. But he's also that person. Like he literally, it's like friends with everybody. Oh, yeah. Anyone he's been on a date with, like, keep in touch. Great girl. Great girl. You guys would be great friends. I'm like, totally. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if he's a Sagittarius moon too because he's like just nothing. Nothing bothers to him.

What's his like sun sign? He's a Leo. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm fun. I'm a Leo too. Are you? But, but I'm like not a typical Leo and I think it's because I'm Pisces moon. I'm like so in my like inner world. Totally. I'm a Scorpio rising. Oh, well, that's interesting. It's the moon in rising that make you not seem like Leo. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. Well, we've also had some other things in common.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Unfortunately. But I guess maybe we can start with like, how did your wellness change going from a toxic relationship and then not a right relationship to the right relationship? Like what was the evolution of all of your other stuff? Well, I think we probably touched on it last time, but I didn't have a cycle, like, no period at all. I don't even think I really had hormones. Like I, some people that have an absent period still go through like, oh, they can tell when they're ovulating or PMSing. Like, I didn't have any of that for eight or nine years. And I went through a pretty, like, traumatic of relationship. When I was a

I was 19. And so, yeah, I don't know. There's so many components that led to me losing it. And then not getting it back, I think was being in the wrong relationships. Because when I broke up with the five-year relationship where there was cheating, like the month after, like two weeks probably after we did our podcast, I got my period back after nine years. And then I had a healthy cycle until I got into that next relationship absent for those nine months the moment I broke up with him period back. That's crazy. Which is wild. You're so sensitive. So sensitive. Yeah. And yeah, I feel like that was something that my body really had, has been trying to adjust to is having hormones. However, like, I have a healthy cycle in this relationship. It's the very first. I've never been in a relationship where I've had

period, which is so weird. You know what, though, they say, like, your body gives you signs. Like, some women get, like, constant UTIs when they're with, like, the wrong guy. Totally. Some women, like, there's different flags that your body is trying to wear. And I'm so I'm grateful for that. Like, I think it's kind of cool. But what I don't think is cool is all of the, like, effects that's going on.

I mean, I think, like, I was running on fight or flight for my entire 20s. I mean, I truly did not until recently understand. And this is, people are going to clip this and be like, so not true. I did not understand what I felt like to be tired. Like, I really didn't. I was like, what does it feel like to like not be able to keep your eyes open? And I think I just had insane adrenaline. I started needing to take THC gummies.

I've taken a THC gummy every single night to go to sleep since. I was 22. So that's eight years. And yeah, I was just in fighter flight. I would wake up and, you know, work out because working out was a way to try and exhaust my body from the adrenaline. And it helped at the time. And I worked out a lot.

I didn't fuel myself properly. Again, the fighter flight. And then now, I guess it was probably things started changing. when I was in the relationship that I was settling. I started to experience like a lot of inflammation, a lot of like weird reactions. And then getting out of that, my period came back and got into the right relationship and everything was going so great. And then kind of like you said, how a healthy relationship can really be a mirror. Because I had my period back and I was in this healthy relationship where like when things would come up inside of me, I couldn't

blame anybody else, right? So I really had to go within and do that work. And yeah, these histamine issues that I know you go through as well really started to come up. And it's interesting because I've always had them. Like I can remember when I was 21 and I got my first like lymphatic facial massage. And after my nose would just not stop running and I was sniffling and I woke up the next day and, you know, everyone would be like, you're so sculpted after a lymphatic massage. I'd wake up. My face would look like, you know, it got beaten. It was so swollen. But I never understood it. I just kind of, okay, that's weird. That's a weird me thing. Yeah. And then it wasn't until, you know, the last, I would say, year and a half where I was really putting the pieces together

because I was like, whoa, my body is reacting a lot. And it was heavily like hormone based as well. So tricky with histamine issues and MCAS and they're not interchangeable, but like part of the MCAS reaction includes histamine. I also, I look back and I'm like, oh my God, I was having reactions like my whole life. Totally. But I just never put the puzzle pieces together because, you know, I think one, like, we silo our bodies off so much. And so does, like, medicine. That's how they approach it. Like, okay, oh, you have like a gut issue. You have a hormone issue. You have a mental health issue. Like my histamine issues, my MCAS, like, if I'm in a flare, it's primarily like nervous system, neurological. I do get very puffy. Like I was, I had one a few days ago. I woke up. My face was like,

a moon face. I had the rash, like the web rash down my legs, but it's very like, it's like that physiological fighter flight anxiety because histamine and these other inflammatory markers in your body, like they can influence like your adrenaline and all these different things, neurotransmitters, your dopamine, like everything. So it's not just histamine like, oh, I have like an itchy rash or a runny nose, even though that's part of it. My nose runs nonstop. If I eat like a histamine food. It's like, but I think it's so interesting. We're seeing it so much now, especially with women. I mean, I don't know about you, but you know when you become aware of something and then you can't unsee it and it's everywhere? It's like Bader Meinhauf, I think.

It's the phenomenon. It's like, is it just me? Or is this becoming a thing? Because I'll like look over and like, I'll see a girl pulling out her like Pepsi at AC and Allegra. And I'm like, I got you. Clock it. Yeah. Well, that I feel like, I just saw an artist. in like the New York Times and it's like about the Allegra and Pepsid thing or Zyrtec and Pepsid whatever people are doing now for like PMDD and PMS. Well I think also PCOS PMDD. All of these things and I'm not a doctor but I think a lot of these things can be histamine triggers right. For sure. And so people are like why is Pepsid and Allegra helping my UTIs? Or why is it helping my PMS symptoms? It's so. So wild and interesting.

Endometriosis, too. Totally. That's a big one. Yeah, I think, you know, the influence of estrogen on histamine and histamine on estrogen is like a big part of that puzzle. I think also a lot of people after COVID or after the vaccine, I always like throw it out there. This is not a political thing, but like the spike protein itself. People say. It's when it started bad for me.

Yeah. Yeah. Same. I had COVID. I had COVID. in that summer before and then I got the Botox and then it was like the debilitating reaction. Right. And then it was just like it set everything off.

Oh, I know. And you were someone who brought it to my attention that Botox can do that. And I went what I felt like forever without getting it. And I recently got it again. And it's interesting because it wasn't the day after or the two days after. it was the two-week mark after where a lot of histamine reactions started. And I think the Botox triggered it. I have been talking a lot about how important strength training has become for me.

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So it's not just a sleep supplement. It's a full body magnesium system built to help you feel your best every day. So experience the most trusted magnesium for purity, potency, and performance, plus it's non-GMO, vegan, and gluten-free, making it a choice. you can feel good about. Go to qualia life.com slash well for 50% off yes, 5-0. And here's a bonus. You can also use the code well for an additional 15% off your order. So that's Q-U-A-L-I-A-L-I-F-E dot com slash well and use the code well. Thanks to Kualia for sponsoring this episode. I tried it again last fall. I did like seven units,

it's like barely anything just because I was terrified. And I get so much shit for this for like, how could you go back to it? And I thought I always was like vehemently clear that I was not anti-Botox at all. Totally. I was just sharing my experience because I was like, holy shit, this can happen and nobody's talking about this. But I've said, like, I'm 40 years old. Like I'm turning 41 in August. I see myself on camera every day. I live in L.A. Like, it's hard. You know what I mean? And I was like, I need to do something about my crow's feet. So I'm going to like try again. And I was like, I'm on the medications. Like I'm super stable. So, you know, let's see. And I literally went to my doctor, he's friend of mine. And he like had all my things that I like my applesauce and like my water. And he's like, I'm going to watch you for like two hours. And no reactions. I did kind of have a reaction that time. It was weird. It was more of like a pot's like reaction where I had really bad like temperature dysregulation. And I. And I. I had that hyper-stimulated, like, anxiety thing for whatever reason. I was like, I'm going to try

it again. And I did it in January. And that time I was okay. Yeah. No, I get it. And it's funny because people can judge, but they don't know the type of, like, battle we go through on a daily basis of choosing. Like, should I risk this? Should I not? Like, that's me weekly with working out. Yeah. I'm like, when I'm in a flare, which seems to be literally all the time right now, because like I said, it's like hormones. So ovulation is the worst. Then after ovulation, you're PMSing. So you're trying to be careful around that.

And then you're on your period. And so you're trying to be careful about that. And I'm like, there's literally like three days of the month where I'm like, I'm thriving. I literally say I have four days a month. No. I'm like a normal person. I know, right? And I'm just like, I want to work out because it makes me feel and look good.

But also it can do the absolute opposite. And so we make these choices. I want to eat this. But it's like I want to go out to eat. I want to have a glass of wine. It's not going to make me feel good. I mean, you can battle that with people who get horrible hangovers. And you can say, well, why do you do it then? Because you enjoy it. And it makes you feel good in the moment. And you pay the risk after. Well, it's exactly what we're going through. Yeah. You know. And I think the hardest part about it is that you don't know. You don't know. Like, one, if it's going to set you off or not, sometimes I can work out every day of the week and I'm totally fine. Sometimes I do a workout last week. It knocked me on my ass for three days. Like could not. And I was so puffy and I was so reactive to everything. Same thing with food. Sometimes I can eat anything. Sometimes I eat something that has cinnamon in it and I'm fucking miserable for days. Like you don't know. And it makes it so hard to not only like be present, but also to plan. You know, it's like, oh, do you want to go like here in two weeks? And I'm like, yes. But like, I don't know if I'm going to feel okay for it. You know what I mean? Like, I know you understand. It's very hard. I understand so well.

I just had like a bit of a mental breakdown in New York because I got like a little cough virus thing, like whatever was going around. It was just kind of like cough. That was kind of it. And I was on like day 13 of this and it was it then hit my sinuses really bad and I've never had any sinus issues a sinus infection like I don't get headaches like that is something I'm way more of the nervous system insomnia and digestion issues are like my thing and it was turning into that and I know we share the same doctor thanks to you gave me his information and I texted him being like, I think I need you to prescribe me antibiotics. You know, I haven't been on antibiotics for 12 years.

Really avoid that for the obvious, you know, gut issue reasons. But I was like, my friends are all like, dude, this is satisfaction. I mean, I was waking up in the middle of the night, like screaming. My head was on fire. It was like, I mean, green coming out of my nose and just, I mean, you can still even kind of hear it. It's lingering. And he was like, listen, I can. I can prescribe you antibiotics, but I know what this is. It's a histamine reaction. It's called like

rhinitis. Rhinitis. Allergic rhinitis. Yes. Yeah. And it was insane. My body was like mimicking a sinus infection because my histamines were all going crazy in the sinus area. I mean, it was absurd. From your cough? From the virus. Okay. This is so crazy that you're saying this because I've gotten sick a few times in the, I don't know, maybe twice last year. And I'm okay when I'm sick. I don't have symptoms when I'm sick. It's actually like a relief because like, I don't know, my immune system is doing something different.

And then the few days at the tail end, I get allergic to the virus. It's the worst for me. It's the sinuses and it's itching in my nose. Nothing scratches the itch and like itchy eyes. She knows stuffy. And I actually asked my dad, I think it was before I was working with Zach, when I was like, I'm allergic to this virus. Like, what is happening?

And he was like, yeah, no, that's actually a thing. It's a thing. It was so. That's horrible. Intense. And he prescribed me these antihistamine prescription sprays. Chromalin spray? No.

It starts with an O. Ostea something. And then one that's called like, flungitis or something that you can just get from like the pharmacy. And it, yeah, it made it go away. I did take the antibiotics just because I was like, I mean, I just, I get a little bit afraid of like an infection close to my brain. I wanted to rule that out.

But it was the sprays that made it start to go away. But I had a breakdown because I was in my room and I was just like, I feel so alone in this. Like no one understands. Call me. It sounds like I'm exaggerating it when like I finally just like broke down and was like talking to my boyfriend, the poor guy who has literally no idea. I'm like talking about hormones, talking about histamine. He's like literally the type of guy who never gets sick.

And I'm like, trust me when I say that I am like, what's the term under exaggerating this? Like I'm making this seem. You're minimizing it. I'm minimizing it. Like I am pushing through because I don't want it to take control of my life. And I'm never going to let it make me say no to a trip or to an opportunity or to a meal. Like I just can't because I think I also, when I first started to get symptoms after a traumatic experience when I was 20, I when the insomnia started. And now I can go back and be like, hmm, that's what it was.

I didn't have a social life. I didn't go out to eat. I didn't eat in general. And so much of it was something that I, you know, I didn't realize at the time I didn't know what it was. And I lived such a, I don't know, just a life where I was holding myself back from a lot that I'm like, I will not let this take me down. But then I'm like pushing through New York City with all my friends and stuff.

end up in my hotel room just like, you know, crying and breaking down because I'm like, it just feels like the most, like I don't want to have this niche. Yeah, I know. I rather have a more like trending sickness that everybody knows about and can understand. Hopefully. I think there's more research on it. But yeah, it's really hard. And I think something with any chronic condition that's kind of like quote unquote

invisible, it's very hard. It's very hard. I mean, I feel the same way. Like, my boyfriend wants to learn. And I'm the exact same as you. I'm like, I minimize everything. I hardly ever talk about it. Yeah.

Because I don't want to like burden. I also don't want to, I don't identify with it. I'm like, no. I don't say I have MCAS. No. I'm like, there's this MCAS thing. I relate to a lot of it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I have these like reactions. Because I think that, and this is like no shade to anybody, but I think that you can really latch on to these diagnoses and let it control your life. And then you get consumed by it. And so my thing from the beginning, and I did get a diagnosis was like, nope, like I am going to continue to live my life exactly. Yes, I'm on a lot of medications that enable me to do so. But like that has given me a life back. And for the most part, like, I can live normally. And I go out to eat all the time and I travel all the time and I work all the time and like sometimes it backfires on me. And then I have tools in my toolbox for that. But it's in those moments when you're in a flare, like, it's the most lonely, like, isolating thing. I think for sensitive people, too, like, I mean, with, you know, autoimmune or niche conditions,

that you can go down the woo-woo path. And I think there's a level of that that's helpful. I think sometimes when, you know, there's emotions that aren't being met, little things can really trigger. these reactions. So I try my best to do that. And I do think it's helped a lot to have you ever heard of like Nicole Sacksworth? Yeah. Journal speak.

Journal speak. Yeah. I'm not consistent with it. And I need to be. You know how they always say like the real work is when you're feeling good, not just when you're like feeling awful. I need to actually live by that because I don't. It's the same thing with sobriety by the way.

Right. It's like, no, the hardest thing is to like maintain all the things when you're not in pain and not in distress. And yeah, it's just natural, though. Totally. It's so natural to like loosen the grip a little bit or loosen the rain. Right. But when I lean into that, it is, it's remarkable.

I really believe that you can take. It doesn't mean that you, that it's all in your head what you're going through. Like what we're going through is so biologically correct and accurate and it's happening. It's valid. But I do believe you can take your pain away from doing some deep, deep, deep. deep inner work. Yeah. I totally agree. And I mean, pretty much all the doctors who have been researching MCAS and these conditions also say that nervous system regulation is like the biggest part of it. And I can attest to that. Like I'm on vacation in the summer in the south of France,

like sleeping till 10 every morning, like no stress in the sun all day, chill in. And I'm like good. No inflammation. And I know you don't partake in alcohol, but the same with me. And I am so sensitive to alcohol. I mean, I can't. I probably haven't had a drink in, I don't even know, months and months. Like, I don't even remember the last time. But I have a glass of wine every day, every day. Yeah. And you're fine. In Europe and yeah, it just feels so great. And it makes me like a mix of so happy and relieved that that exists. And also, pissed that I have to come back here and I love living here and I love my life here. But I'm like, how can I unallergic myself to the place that I live? I feel the exact same way. I can't remember

who I was talking to about this yesterday. Maybe my Pilates instructor or something. But like, yeah, the second I land at LAX and she was saying this too, like you step off the plane and it's like, there's like a layer of puffiness that covers the body. The bloat comes back. The face gets puffy. No, no matter how healthy you eat. No, no matter how healthy I eat, like something's going to flare me. Like, it's just, I don't know what it is. I know. I think if people listening, even if they don't deal with this specifically, like I'm sure that everybody can relate to trying, like not feeling your best. And I feel like at this time, it seems like pretty much everybody's dealing with something. Totally. Like something, whether it's thyroid, whether it's gut issues, whether it's hormonal issues, whether it is MCAS, whether it is M-CAS, whether it's. whether it's like some kind of other autoimmune. Like we are like rife with these conditions.

I have one friend. She doesn't deal with anything. And we're all just like, yep. Yeah. There's always one of you. My best friend. She's like doesn't even know what any of, she doesn't have social media. Right.

She doesn't know what any of this is. What do you mean bloated? Yeah. What does that feel like? Oh yeah. Like walk away. She'll eat like an entire pizza and like ice cream and tacos. And be like, let's go run.

Like, I'm like, what is that like? Incredible. The strongest constitution ever. I've talked about this before. But I remember when I was going through the Botox thing, I was going to get acupuncture every day. It was like the only thing I could do at that time because I didn't know about MCAS or anything. I feel like maybe had I known back then, like if I had started taking the right meds,

like it would have put out the fire a little bit on what was happening. Yeah. But I would go to acupuncture and I would just cry. because I was like, I'm never going to be normal again. And I'm like, I'm so sensitive. Like, I hate being so sensitive. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, but the beauty of that is that like, one, you're so attuned to your body. And she's like, and two, you respond so well to something like acupuncture or journaling or meditation, like whatever it is that you do. I've always said that. Yeah. It's like I am a sponge. So I take on things very easily. However, I also can release. things very easily. Yeah. So. Yeah.

Yeah. Just for anyone listening who's feeling like they're a highly sensitive person. I know it can feel like a burden sometimes. Yeah. I mean, also finding people like who, I mean, if I didn't have my, my best friend is, you know, built very similarly to me. I mean, she doesn't have like histamine reactions or anything like that, but just sensitive, our mentalities are very similar. And I am just like, thank God for her. If I, I would feel so

incredibly alone in so many aspects of my life. So anyone listening, I just feel like find someone who, it doesn't need, they don't need to understand exactly what you're going through. But just on like a deep soul level of that understanding, if that makes sense. I feel like those people are just amazing to have in your life. Yeah. 1,000 percent. Okay. I want to get to some like rapid fire. Yeah. Maybe some of them won't be rapid fire. Okay. Well, what does wellness look like to you right now? This one's not rapid fire. You can delve in. Yeah, it looks a lot different. And I know so many people say this, but I will say, like, is everybody actually living by it? Because I've said it in the past and definitely wasn't. And that's like deep rest. Deep rest. Like, I think, I mean, I had a day,

not yesterday, but the day before. And this might sound weird to some people, but I just, I didn't have one plan. I didn't have one thing to do. I sat in bed and binge watched off campus. Have you seen it? No, it's on my list. I've never felt. I've never felt like this since I was a teenager. Oh, God. I'm going to start it after that's when I get home tonight. It's really doing something for me. I don't even know the feelings in my body. It's like it's too much to even talk about. I need that. So badly right now. It honestly, like, this sickness really got me down off campus was more than any doctor could prescribe. It was incredible.

Got those hormones pop in. And also just like, I think what even what wellness looks like to me is like, I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but for so long I feel like I would pride myself on certain things. Having really good movie taste or music taste or dressing a certain way or my hobby. being artistic and cool enough or whatever. And just like, Fething, dropping all of that shit and just being like, you know that one trend on TikTok that's like, don't ask me for my music taste because I think this is genuinely a masterpiece. And it'll be like, I don't know, like Hillary Duff's like old music. Come clean. Yes. And I'm just like, I just am like living in that right now. I love that. I'm like, my like teenage self is like inside of me thriving. And

just being unapologetically yourself in whatever way that means. I think your 20s are so weird. And you, for me personally, I felt like I tried to fit into so many different molds. And right now I am just like being unapologetically myself and whatever that means. And I think that goes for like my physique, my friendships, my routine, like the level of rest I'm getting. It's like just coming back to a baseline that feels really freaking authentic. I love that. And you're so lucky to kind of come home to that at your age because I feel like I just got there like in the last year or two where I'm finding that the older I get, the younger I feel and the more playful I feel. Because I think you start to like drop a lot of the facades and

stop giving so many fucks about like everything. And what people are you. people think of you. And there's so much freedom feeling. I feel like a teenager. It's the best. I think my friends were just talking about this because I've been posting so much with my friends of these like not necessarily dance videos because I never got into that. But just like being so silly. And I'm like if you look at my past, everything was like my morning routine making my matcha. And don't keep wrong. I do all those things and I'm a like a nerd for that stuff and I love it. But I'm like, this funness. I'm like, where the frick was this in our 20s? Yeah. Like let's just like take this home. Like I want to be 70 doing these. You know? I think that that's kind of like the key though. I think that

that keeps you young. Totally. You know? And I love seeing that playfulness in older people. I agree. I agree. You're just like, you're having fun. Like what we're here like we can't go back. I was talking to my mom the other day. She's in her early 70s. And we were talking about my trip this summer trips. And she was like, enjoy every single second. Not just of like vacations, like of life right now. Because she's like you get to my age and you cannot go back. And it's like. Yeah. So true. Yeah. And it's like, why not have fun? Like have the most fun that you can. Like there's a lot of heavy shit right now. I get that. But like, you can still choose how you want to be every day. It's so true.

It's such a, it's unfortunate that they make this era of our lives, like, stressful in the terms of, like, building your career, finding your person. There's so many, like, things that are such a heavy weight on you. And it's, like, it's so important to remember that, like, we, yeah, we just, yeah, these are the times of our lives. Yeah. to have fun. Totally. Yeah. I feel like I'm in the best time of my life right now. I love that. I like have this feeling because it's like my parents are still alive. Like I'm healthy. Everyone I love is healthy. Like I feel like I'm building something. And I get that everyone's

circumstances are different. But like you can look at not to be so fucking cheesy and everything. But like we all have things to be so grateful for you. And I just kind of have this feeling like, oh, this is it. This is it. Like totally. Enjoy that. I feel like I'm getting, I'm almost there. Yeah. I'm almost at like, your baby. I'm almost at peak. But you know, every person who I talk to who's older, like even my ex-husband, he's old.

Yeah. And he's like, in a lot of ways, he feels that same way. Like, oh, this is like the best, you know, like. So it doesn't, I feel like we think that it peaks at a certain age. Right. Age doesn't define it. Yeah. Okay.

Now we're going to do rapid fire. Okay. Okay. Most overrated wellness trend right now. Most overrated wellness trend. Obviously, you can cut me pondering because I need. We'll just add the Jeopardy music. This isn't rapid.

But there's so many. We can circle back too. No, no, no. I'm going to get this. Oscar, do you have the Jeopardy song on your phone? It's so funny because I'm going to be like contradicting my younger self. But I think people should, I'm not saying X out heated workouts. But I think people should minimize it and not do it every day coming from someone who literally did it every single day for so long and is now paying a bit of the price.

Why? Just the. I think it's a depletion of minerals sometimes. I think it's exhausting. Again, especially if you have some nervous system work to do, it is just a lot of these heated workouts too are like hit workouts in a heated space. It's a lot. I would pass away. It's a lot. And I did it every single day and I know the thrill and the high that it gives you. Trust me, low impact calming workouts where your nervous system is calm. I just feel like you're going to benefit you so much in the long haul. Never done a heated workout. I don't think I ever well. Good for you. Wow. I just know like it would flare me too bad. That's one thing when I'm exercising. I built up a tolerance to be able to do it five days a week through making sure I don't get too hot.

Because I know if I get too hot, it like pushes me into a flare. That is such a good call. Yeah. Or if blast the AC on you. Yeah. Or if my heart rate gets to a certain place. But that's a different episode. Most worth it beauty treatment.

I actually have not done a lot and I want to dabble in. I don't know if you've ever done Moxie or BBL laser, but I want to try that or skin genesis I've been looking into. I'm looking at you and I'm shaking my head for listeners. Really? I'm like, no, you don't need anything. Yeah, I don't think I've ever done a laser. My favorite beauty treatment, I mean, I just go to this girl's skin by Sylvie in Beverly Hills and she just gives me like a regular facial, but she's incredible and amazing and I'm obsessed with her. I would say that or I shape and tint my eyebrows and I think it's life changing.

Game changer. Yeah. Do you do it yourself? No. Oh. Go to Tori. Okay. She's incredible.

Brows by Tori, I think. She's incredible. I don't shape myself, but I tint my brows myself. And I'm like, so nice. Especially with your eye color. It just makes everything. It's so nice. Yeah.

I feel like that's one of those like, what's one thing you can do to like make you look more refined or something like that? Or like the high maintenance things you do to be low maintenance. Yeah. Yeah. One thing that instantly makes someone more attractive. Confidence. Beauty habit you swear by. Beauty habit, I swear by. Oh, this is a new one, but it's, am I going to say this right? Mendeleic acid serum. Just feel like it clears everything. Which one do you like? I just started using Sophie. Sophie Pavit. Obsessed. Because it's also not as harsh. I think you also loved the Marini Skin Solutions line as well.

And I can't use it every single day anymore. It was a little too harsh, I think. But I do like, when I've taken a break and then I use it again, I'm like, whoa. Yeah. Glass skin. I do it when I'm breaking out when I start breaking out, which I was worse than I ever have in my life. Recently? Yes. And then I got a facial yesterday. She did like, I have a picture. It was the crazy, like a hundred extractions. You would never know. It was crazy. Yeah. Last time I saw her, she did one. It was like. Do you go to the LA facialist? still? I do, but she was traveling so I couldn't get in with her. So I went to Vanessa Hernandez, who I've gone to before. She's amazing. Okay. And she came to my house yesterday. Yeah, I feel like you know all the good people. I had a full wellness weekend. Gosh, I love those days. It was the best. One thing that you've done recently that improved your nervous system the most. I would say somatic work, I think, and whatever that looks like to you. But I personally think that I see a lot more benefit in somatic therapy versus talk therapy. I hold a lot of emotion inside my body. So breathing, you know, I use the open app and I've said that like so many times.

You ride for that app. I do. I do. And I honestly, too, like I talk like I do it way more often than I do. But I just know that when I do it, the benefit is incredible. And I say it out loud because I want I do it more consistently. I need to try that. What is a wellness habit? I guess you kind of said this. A wellness habit you had to stop because it became unhealthy. I mean, so many from lemon water to because that caused kind of histamine.

I love a lymphatic drainage massage so much. I just have to be very particular when I'm doing it. Again, with heated workouts, I still love them and will. do them, but it is, it has to be like one of those three or four days of the month where I'm thriving, you know? Yeah. I could go on forever though. Yeah. I know. Same. I feel like, yeah, a lot of like the wellness things that are healthy for like the regular for Jen, Genpop. I'm like not good for people struggling with histamine stuff. For us, like anything detoxifying, right? Like, I mean, as much as my gut might need a cleanse, like heck no. No way. No way.

way. No way. No way. No way. College one I can do now. Okay. Last one. What is one thing that you've learned about healthy love?

Oh. One thing I've learned about healthy love is it doesn't mean there isn't conflict, disagreements, high emotions sometimes. But when it's how. it's resolved and also how quickly you bounce back after something like that I think really shows. I think the respect and care should be that you're not holding something against somebody because of the conflict that just existed. And I think that's what I've really learned from it.

And I think also healthy love is not one person can win and one person can lose if one person's winning, both are losing, you're always on the same team. I love that. Yeah, love that. I'll tell everybody where they can find you. Oh, just add Alyssa Lynch on kind of all the platforms, I guess, Instagram and Substack and TikTok. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me again. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked the episode and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes such a long way in supporting the show. Follow the show over on Instagram at well.pod. You can also follow my personal Instagram at Ariel Lori. I'm always sharing great clips from the episodes. And we also have full episodes on YouTube as well if you want to watch in entirety.

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