Well with Arielle Lorre - 60: Melissa Wood-Tepperberg - Breaking Up With Bad Habits + Stepping Into A Life You Love

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

In this episode I talk to Melissa Wood-Tepperberg, founder of Melissa Wood Health, about how she went from drinking, disordered eating and stuffing emotions—to a life of peace, intuition, intention and fulfillment. We get into what it was like moving to NYC to become a model and the lifestyle that accompanied that; how she reached a breaking point and made a commitment to herself to be better; how she quit HIIT exercise and began to practice yoga and pilates; how to commit to a meditation practice and how it changed her; the importance of being accountable for our emotions; showing up for life and so much more! We also do a listener Q+A at the end where we both answer questions from the audience.  www.blublox.com/BLONDE for 15% off your order! www.bookofthemonth.com with code BLONDE to get your first month for $9.99 Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the Blonde Files podcast. I'm your host, Ariel Lori, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits. I know there is so much information out there, so I'm here to help you navigate it all and live your best life. Thanks for listening. Let's get into it. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. Thanks for being here. I'm kind of laughing because I feel like I really need a new way to open up the show. But here we are. So I hope everyone is doing well. Today's episode with Melissa Wood-Teperberg is one of my favorites ever because I could just relate so much to her story. Her struggle with drinking and her disordered eating and not knowing how to

deal with uncomfortable emotions. Her experience of finally waking up to who she is and unapologetically owning that and her mission and commitment to herself to be better and just show up in the best way every single day. I feel like this episode was a long time coming. So many people requested it. And just the energy when we recorded it, even though we were 3,000 miles apart, is palpable. You really feel it listening to this. So for anyone struggling with anything, I really hope this helps you and I think it will. We talk about, of course, the struggles and then how to make changes, how to take responsibility for our emotions, how to start with a meditation practice and how to go deeper and heal. We also talk about movement, of course, and our shared experience of having

adverse reactions to higher intensity exercise. I used to joke that I was allergic, but really it does feel that way when your body is already overloaded with stress and then exercise just makes everything 10 times worse. Anyway, we get into that. We also get into sobriety, unhealthy coping mechanisms, how to turn it all around, and so, so much more. So enjoy this episode with Melissa. So I'm here with Melissa Wood. I always just automatically call you Melissa Woodhouse. I don't know if other people do that. It's just like a knee-jerk thing. but I'm here with Melissa Wood. I feel like this has been a long time coming.

There's a lot of synergy, I feel, between us. And my audience is obsessed with you. Oh, that's so sweet. I'm so happy to be here with you. Yeah, and I am too. I mean, we will get into this, but your program really came at such a critical time for me when I was learning how to break up with high-intensity exercise

and being really hard on my body and learning how to be more intuitive. And I know that that's something that you've helped so many people realize. So I can't wait to get into all of that. But why don't we just start? I'm sure everybody listening knows who you are. But just in case anybody doesn't, let's just get a little background on you, like where you're from, what you wanted to do when you were younger, and then how you came to found Melissa Woodhouse.

Okay. Well, I am Melissa Wood-Tepberberg, is my married name. and I'm from Syracuse, New York. I moved to New York 15 years ago, I think this year almost. Yeah, 15 years ago. And when I was little, you know, it's funny, I was talking to Dylan, who works with me about this the other day because we live together now during quarantine. And I've shared so much of my childhood stories with her and just like watching her

jaw drop the more that I like just keep sharing the vulnerability of things when I was younger. And, you know, I was telling her that ever since I was a little like I'm talking, I vividly remember being like eight, nine years old and just knowing that I wanted to do something that made a difference. And I had no clue obviously what that was. And then, you know, as I was growing up, a lot of people would ask me if I was a model. And, you know, I think I really attached my worth to my looks. And I thought that that was what was acceptable. It's like, that's what made me recognized. And I liked that feeling of, you know, that positive kind of recognition. So I always wanted to be a model. And then I moved to New York, I moved to New York on a

complete freaking whim, which is also I was sitting with my husband the other night and kind of we were talking through the story. And it's just, it's so crazy to me because I was so young. I moved when I was 21 and I had a very serious boyfriend in Syracuse. And I came to New York for the first time with a friend who was moving here. And there was just something. It was like, for me, it was this, my eyes opened a little wider and I realize the potential of maybe what life could feel like. You know, like I always, I, there was just this thing in Mia and I didn't really know what it was, but it was I wanted to do something impactful. I always felt that. And then moving, like coming to New York for the first time, I was like, oh my God, this is it. Like the energy and I learned the city in a weekend. I learned

how to go from like first avenue to, you know, to like 10th Avenue. And I started to, you know, I started to, you know, kind of like throw myself in. And I moved to New York and I was working at the Chanel counter in Bloomingdale's on 59th Street. I worked at the Chanel counter in Syracuse. It was Filene's when I worked there. It's now me was Maraises. I'm taking you way back to you guys. And yeah, I had three jobs in Syracuse.

I was bartending on the weekends. And I worked at the Chanel. counter Thursday through Sunday. And I had an office job. I worked at a auto supply company Monday through Thursday. So I've always been this very focused, driven person. But I think when I was young, you know, growing up in a dysfunctional broken home, I think you don't have a lot of direction, you know, because my mom doing the best that she could with five daughters. And my dad did the best that he and, you know, they had kids really young back to back. It was like my mom was just pregnant and breastfeeding for 10 years of her life.

And now, like, that really, like, it hits me. You know, I'm like, wow, you didn't really have a life. And, you know, I think I just, I needed all of these things that I wasn't getting, that I didn't get as a kid. And, you know, moving to New York, I think everything really came up for me. All of the emotions and the feelings that I, really pushed down as a child came out full freaking force when you moved to New York. If you don't face the things that you are going through and you just keep pushing, they come up.

They come up when you don't want them to. And, you know, I think entering into the modeling world and the city just, it really did a number on my self-esteem. And I didn't like myself. I didn't like the way that I looked. I didn't like who I saw when I looked. in the mirror. I didn't like the girl that walked into these castings, you know, amongst all these other taller, skinnier models. And it was just like, I just lived life through a very different lens that I do now because I had no practice. I didn't have an anchor in my life that grounded me and brought me back to the core of who I am. So I was just searching. I was searching for, you know, for my, my worth through all the wrong things. And yeah, I can, I mean, I could go on and on with this story and that will lead into more of the birth of Melissa Woodhelf. But I think that's a good. That's a good

intro. If you haven't listened to episode 47 with Andy Mant, the founder of Blue Blocks yet, run, don't walk after this episode, of course, and check it out because for me at least, it was life-changing. So when I recorded that episode, I was experiencing really heightened anxiety and agitation, poor sleep, erratic energy and hunger cues, and just overall, I felt chronically stressed. Then I talked to Andy about blue light and everything clicked. We are all pretty constantly inundated with blue and yellow light from our devices and our homes, and this can lead to eye-strain, blurred vision, headaches, dry, watery eyes, and for some, yes, even heightened anxiety, depression, and low energy. So blue blocks was created to fix these problems and blackout blue light with

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guest that we bring on. We have everyone ranging from like business experts to influencers, CEOs, creative masterminds. It's so much fun. If you guys want to find me on Instagram and it's just at Kenzie Elizabeth. I release new episodes every Thursday. So hope to see you there. Well, that's a big transition. First of all, I went to Syracuse for a semester. That's all I lasted. It was too fucking cold. So props to you. But that's a big transition. I mean, Syracuse to the city and the city is unforgiving, right? It's energizing and it's exciting, but it's also unforgiving. And I'm curious, like, what were your coping skills at that time? Because that's such a big transition. And then like you said, all this stuff that you hadn't dealt with was coming up and you had to face it. and that was before like the birth of your program and your practice and all of that. So what were you doing at that time to deal with the comparison and the issues that were coming up for you? I kept pushing them down. So I attached myself to, you know, going on these, I would go on these like crazy binge eating episodes and crazy binge drinking. I would get wasted. I would just get so drunk that. It was like, I was hoping that it would kind of all go away, but I think we all know that things become more heightened when you're in a state of being

completely out of your mind. And I developed an eating disorder without even really mindfully understanding that I had an eating disorder because I was in such utter denial of where I was spiraling. And, you know, it was like the dream. drinking led to the binge eating led to me starving myself the next day after having, you know, after releasing everything, if you will, and getting rid of everything from the night before and then not eating and then working out for hours a day for weeks. And just, it was like this vicious, vicious cycle of like literally just abusing myself and my body and

my mind. And it's, it never serves you. You think it does. What was your breaking point? It was a night I got, I went out and I was like a train wreck. I was like just, I was that girl that I, you know, and it's like I was like who I am now, but I just, I wasn't in touch with really the beauty of who I am, like what makes me different. And I was that person when I didn't drink and then when I drank, it was like I was just, Oh my God, it was a mess. And it definitely took. There was this one time that I'll never forget a girl I was cocktail waitressing with. And we weren't close. And I still to this day, thank her so much for calling me.

The next day we had like a Christmas party, you know, for the club. And it was actually a marquee Christmas party. And I got so drunk on to like a screen fight on the street with a homeless man. I ended up leading the party, going, like leaving my boyfriend. It was just like I was always kind of a tornado. You know, it was like anything I talked to watch out. And then the next morning she called me and she was like, listen, I hope you don't think this is out of line, but I, you're amazing. You're so amazing.

But when you drink, you're not. And you're a completely different version of yourself. And I think you have a drinking problem. And I was like, what? Like, I never thought of that. And then, and I wasn't defensive. I was like, thank you. Thank you for letting me know that that's, I was unaware.

So that was a big turning point for me. And then it definitely, you know, opened my eyes to kind of like the state that I was in. But it was having a really drunken night and then binge eating and vomiting the whole day where I just, I was like, I couldn't do it anymore. I was so, I saw where it was going. I was like, I was either going down this road where I was just going to literally tear myself into the ground until I just couldn't do it anymore or I had a choice. I could stop doing this. I could break this cycle and ask for help. And I did. I reached out to my friend for her therapist. I called her therapist the next day and it was like I was committing to change. You know, I think it's, You have to get really clear with yourself when you're in a space in your life when you're unhappy. And if you really want to change, you commit to it. And it's like my entire life is about committing to bettering myself, to bettering my mental state. And to, you know, move through my day so that I'm not walking around just like agitated or looking for devices to just mask really what's going.

on, you know, and that's, that's what got me here. I think just starting to own it and to, you know, I was afraid of sharing that I had an eating disorder. I thought, like, how am I, you know, sharing myself in this light as this health and wellness, um, entrepreneur and then that I went through this. And that was actually what changed everything for me because I shared the truth. And it changed. It changed my life. And there was no intention of like, will this take my business to the next level? I didn't even really have a business. It was like it was, you know, it was me just planting like the raw real me along the way. Yeah. I mean, I can relate in so many ways. And I think I always say that like my biggest struggles are now my biggest assets because that's what allows

us to connect with other people on that real level. Like people are sick of all the perfection and people are really, really struggling with real shit. And I think they need to find people that they can connect with. And you do that so amazingly. And I always, I really admire people who make a decision to change. Like, I was the kind of person who I had to be scraping the bottom of the barrel, like have no other options, you know, like I was having seizures all the time. I wasn't eating. I was my body, I was dying before I was willing to make a lifestyle change. So I always am so, um, I don't know, just so inspired by people who are like, I realized that this was going down the wrong road and I decided to change. And it's interesting because I feel like there's no secret sauce.

Like I had a positive psychologist on the show a few weeks ago and she was like, you just really have to be fed up with your own shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I don't know about you, but whenever I am looking for a new book, I scour the internet searching and researching pretty aimlessly to find something of interest. And then I make my choice based on what's popular or on reviews of other people only to find myself disappointed when I start reading. Well, I'm here to tell you that we don't have to live like that anymore thanks to Book of the Month Club.

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Half by Britt Bennett, which is a book I think everybody should read, especially now. It's about identical twin sisters who run away from their small, southern black community at the age of 16, but find their lives intertwined even as one returns to the community with her black daughter, and the other lives with her white husband who knows nothing of her past and she herself poses for white. There are so many books that Book of the Month Club has featured that I can't wait to read and I know you guys will love them too. So to join Book of the Month Club and get your first month for just $999, visit Book of the Month Club and use the code blonde. That is B-L-O-N-D-E for 99 and we can read together. I think coming from, you know, a family of addicts.

I don't know that I've ever really said that before, but I think I'm getting more comfortable sharing that because there's a lot of people who are in complete denial of that. And I now see it. And I no longer, I'm like, no, like, I'm becoming what I didn't like, right? what I despised with my childhood. And I'm now, I'm embodying that person. And that is not who I want.

That's not who I am. That is not who I want to show up as. And I think it's really gaining clarity within. I'm like, you know, like now with my meditation practice, I've really added this component of visualizing, like, who am I? Like, how do I want to feel throughout the day? Like when I am doing a live workout with someone like, how do I really want to feel? What is an essence and the energy that I want to give off to anyone watching?

And it's, to me, it's, yes, like I want people to feel good. But I want them, I want people to really know. I think, you know, with my mission more now than ever is to show that like you too can do this. Like you can change your life. You can become anything that you desire. it is absolutely about doing the work, but it is committing to that path and everything that, you know, aligns yourself with feeling that way and showing up that way. Day in and day out, if you're having a good day, a bad day, doesn't freaking matter because this, it's like my life

depends on this. And that's why I'm so passionate about the things that I share. Because if I knock myself off course, and, you know, a lot of people will say, like, you're so disillard. Like you're so and I don't look at it as discipline. Could it be perceived as that? Absolutely. But to me, it's this is like, it's this or it's me going off to, you know, going off in a different direction. And it's, it's a commitment to myself. And it's a commitment to my family and to my community that I have built off sharing the real freaking shit to, you know, I do it for me and I do it for everyone watching. And it's not like, that's another thing too. Like sometimes it isn't what I love to get my 20 minutes of meditation in every day, but it's not that every day. And that's okay. But doing something,

something sets the tone for my entire state of being for the day. And, you know, it's, that's why I, it's like, even now I'm like, I get so fired up with it because I promise you to anyone who is listening

that there is so much life to live. you own your shit, when you own the fact that everything up into this point in your life is because of your actions. And it's a hard pill to swallow. It's a hard one to say, you know what? It's up to me. It's not because of all the things that happened to me. No, you, you have the choice here to change or to keep wallowing and all of that bullshit that you keep telling yourself. Yeah, 1,000%. I'm. I'm just sitting here like, yes. Like, I get fired up about it too.

Like, I have chills because it's so true. And that's another thing, not to keep talking about that psychologist, but it's so aligned with what you're talking about. And she was like, how did she phrase it? She said something like emotional adulthood is like getting to that place where you take accountability for your emotions and, you know, your actions and your behavior dictates how you feel. And so you have to own that.

You know, we are in control here. I totally, totally agree with that. So I'm curious, like, how you started getting more intuitive with your body and your movement and your lifestyle and kind of broke up with this more, like, rigid approach, but also stayed discipline because those are kind of, like, they can kind of at times be conflicting. Totally. So, you know, I was really, like, all of my. my friends, still a lot of my friends are models and we would, you know, have our castings in the city and then we'd go to chopped and we'd have our salads for lunch and then we'd do a workout classes and I was kind of like following the flow of the group. And, you know, my friends all

did high intensity workouts and there is nothing wrong with doing high intensity workouts. But let me tell you, they did not work for me. And it took me years of getting more and tuned with myself. And I vividly remember going to a class. And I had, this is when I was also, you know, I was in therapy for five years. And I'm back in therapy. And I now understood that all of these feelings that came up that drove me to do all these things in my life was severe anxiety. And when I was going into a class, I was like, I feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. Why do I feel this way? I took the class and I left with more. anxiety. And I was like, I didn't like the way that I felt in that class. I hated doing those

things. Like, why do I feel that I have to do these? And it's because, you know, I've, I've worked with trainer after trainer who has told me that I have cellulite my thighs and I need to trim down my thighs two inches and I have love handles and I have this weird fat under my armpits. It was like, you know, I lived in that world of when modeling was really targeted on being thin and tall. And it's so crazy because my body structure right now was nothing like it was 10 years ago. I was, you know, I was about 20 pounds heavier and I was thicker, a thicker build. So I never thought that I was this body type, but it was like the way I was a negatively kind of fueling my body of always trying to be something else that I wasn't at the time, I think just

made me hold weight because it's like everything I was doing was increasing my, cortisol, I lived in a state of constant fighter flight, everything that I did, from childhood to moving to New York, to working out, to going. It was like everything, I was just running on this adrenaline and conserve you in mild doses, but not living in a constant state of that. So once I started to meditate and I really committed to a meditation practice, wow, the voice in every, gets clear. Everything gets more clear. I became so much more conscious and aware of my, my actions, everything that I was doing, people I was around, how it was serving me. And it was taking a very well-known teacher's class. I never say names, but, you know, I think you think because someone's well-known,

it's like it's good for you, right? And I left that class and I hated how I felt. I got called out for doing something incorrectly in front of the whole group measured that I needed to lose more inches. And I was like, you know what? Fuck this. This is not how you should feel after leaving a celebrity instructor's class. Like, I don't give a shit who you are. You don't make people feel bad about themselves. And it just went off.

It was like this light bulb in my head. I was walking across 12th Street from 7th Avenue to 6th. I'm telling you I could literally where I was wearing like this windbreaker. And I said I want to be a teacher. And it was the first time it ever landed where I was like, I want to teach people how to love themselves, how to love themselves as they are. And no matter if they look at themselves in the mirror and they're like,

okay, I desire being a different size, that's okay. We can have desires. But I am going to commit to love. loving me right now as I am because there's no guarantee when you lose 10 pounds that you're going to love yourself anymore. Right. So it really became crystal clear through throwing myself into doing things that didn't serve me for years and just having these moments of like when I was doing things. So when I did Pilates when I took Taylor Phillips class at Equinox and Sara Morton's yoga class at Equino, I was a member of Equinox at the time and I'm not anymore because, you know,

I started sharing my workouts at home. And I loved how I felt leaving their classes. And they had such a beautiful approach. Those two teachers are who really shaped me as a teacher. And I want to give them full recognition because I've never left their class ever feeling anything but good. And I think that's how you should feel when you invest your money and your time into working with someone.

If someone's not making you feel good about your body or calm, out all the areas you need to work on, run. Run, otherwise, and find someone who can lift you up, you know, and through really understanding, like, the fundamental movements of Pilates and elements of yoga, I loved the blend. And when I studied with Tara Stiles, I did my yoga teacher training with Starr, who I also modeled with. We have, like, a full circle situation here. She was like, why don't you, you know, you're so good at both, blend the two. And I was like, I, yeah, I do a little, but I wasn't owning it. And she was like, you need to own who you are, what you love. And that almost gave me permission coming from a well-known yoga teacher who I respected, right, of just kind of going with this whole thing that I was already starting to share, but just kind of owning it. And really the birth of what is now my baby. My third baby is my workouts and my meditations. And thank God, it's, you know, I had to go through all of the things that didn't make me feel good to really understand. I think how to make myself

feel good first and then share people. I think that's such a valuable experience, though, that, like, I kind of, I kind of want everybody to have. I mean, we're all so different. I really think that, like, going through these kind of trials and tribulations and what works and what doesn't. I mean, that's how we figure out who we are. And it's, I really encourage people to like go out and do their own exploration, like, find what works for you. Everybody, you know, we're all different. There are a couple things that I wanted to unpack here.

Okay. So the first one is meditation. Yeah. I don't know how you feel, but I felt like it was probably the, you know, the single biggest thing in both getting to know myself. Like I feel like I didn't even know myself before I meditated because I was never quiet enough. I never saw my thoughts. I never saw my mind. I never saw the truth of my life because I was always so distracted. And then it also has like this ripple effect where it taught me how to be really in tune with my body, really in tune

with my hunger cues and my energy cues. Like what do I have the energy to do today? Sometimes I will do a 10-minute hit. And then other days I do your program or some days I just walk or whatever. So I'm curious, like, if you had that experience and then everybody wants to know how to start meditating. So, yes, I mean, absolutely. I am, it's funny because for the first time my husband said it the other night, he said it Dylan and Noah and I were having dinner and he said, Melissa is a completely different person than when I met her. And I am. Like, it's crazy. Like, just the way that I deal now with challenges that come up or things that make me anxious, you know, before I grew up in a household of screamers and hitters. And that was my way of coping with things. And, you know, I, oh, my God, for everything from the way if I get annoyed with my kids to if I'm having a craving or even with my workouts. Like people are like, do you, do you sit there?

I'm like, you know, you know exactly what days. And I'm like, no, everything I share is literally intuitively that that comes through me. And that feels good. And I do it and I share it because it's, that's what works. You know, like when you move in a way that feels good and you just let that carry you, it's amazing what can come up. And meditation, the reason why I really started sharing my meditations is because I was called to share my meditations. I, for the longest time, wanted to, but I was afraid that I didn't have enough experience.

Who am I to share my meditation? And then it's another kind of situation with like Tara Stiles where someone I love and I look up to so much, Elena Brower, I went to a meditation that she was doing. And after we walked eyes, we'd never met before. And she kind of called me over and I was like looking behind my shoulder like, oh my God, me, talking to me. I like, I'm so funny when I am really, when I'm drawn to someone, I get, like, I'm so weird. Like, yeah, like one girl over, like for me, I was like, oh, my God, palms are sweating and go over to her. And I mean, I can be around like any celebrity, but like Elena Brower, like,

he's like married. Right. I'm in the same way. Oh, my God. And she was like, who are you? What are you doing? and I was telling her, and I said, what meditation training would you recommend? And she said, you have it in you. I can feel it. I can see it. She said, you just need to keep doing it. You need to keep sharing it. And you need to trust yourself. And it was like, that was it. And I slowly and surely did and started sharing my meditations because it is 1,000% the foundation of what has taken me from that broken little girl. who was looking outside of myself for all of the answers to a very confident woman that I'm so proud to, you know, be today and to own that with confidence with no ego attached of just

recognizing my growth, right? And it is entirely because of my commitment to meditation. And, you know, for anyone who, it's what helped me cure my acne. It's what helped me cure my eating disorder. People say that once you have an eating disorder, you have an eating disorder for life. I think that's false in my case. I agree. If you believe that, then you're going to walk around the rest of your life thinking that you are triggered by food. And I'm speaking on my personal experience. So if anyone is listening who has an eating disorder, get help, seek help from a professional.

But I will say that if you walk around telling yourself that I am going to share that it had nothing to do with food. it was everything to do with my relationship to self and the way that I dealt with my anxiety. And I would not be like literally half of who I am without my meditation practice. And, you know, the best place to start is to not judge yourself and to simply try it, right? And I think I think a good place too is like for me, you know, I listen. to a lot of meditations on Insight Timer. I would listen to Tara Brock, Gabby Bernstein, Marianne Williamson, all of these amazing teachers. And then I took a, I took a workshop in New York. And it was where I really learned to kind of bring myself there without always listening to a guide,

right? And kind of like experiment with what really works for you. But, you know, I share mindfulness, guided meditations because I like to take people like simply like sitting into a comfortable place like allow yourself to be right where you are everything that came before this. I say this a lot and my flows too. Let that go and everything that's to come after this. It will come. Just be here. Just be here.

Let's connect to our breath and guide you so that you feel confident with, okay, this is, I got this. And then to go through these moments of like pure silence, right, in peace. so that you feel good bringing yourself there. I think the ultimate goal is to be able to sit in a comfortable position and to not have a device that you have to listen to or have something attached to so that you feel you need that to bring you peace. I think peace is within and we just have to connect to maybe our breath.

Maybe that's a great grounding source for you or maybe listening like little sounds or your heartbeat. There's a lot of different things. And I think a lot of people say, like, I'm, my mind's too busy. Like, I can't do it. There's too much to turn off. We're not turning in anything off. We're tuning in. And I think the more that you kind of welcome everything. Like for me, like a lot of the times I sit and I'm like, oh my God, I'm so freaking anxious. It's the last thing I want to do is meditate right now. And I'm like, okay, we're just going to be right here with that. And like, I have these little like conversations with, myself and that's really what got me to guiding is because I would just share like how I would bring myself to the state of where I actually transcend and don't judge yourself. Just just do it and commit. And I like to listen even now like I love listening to different teachers and getting different wisdom from people and it really helps me strengthen my practice. But nothing helps me more than just being with, being with the thoughts and really just allowing things to come up

without saying like, I had a bad practice today. That wasn't a good meditation. I rarely say that because then it translates as like, I wasn't good. It didn't. It wasn't one. Right. And it's everything. Is that helpful? Was that confusing? Yeah. Yeah. No, totally. I love. I know. No, you make it very, you make it sound very manageable. And I like that like perspective shift from not, what did you say? We're not turning it off. We're tuning in. That's so easy.

I mean, that's something that kept me from meditation for years was that I was like, my mind is too busy. Well, that's what our minds do. They have thoughts that bounce around. And we just don't have to attach ourselves to them. So that's the difference, right? So now where I sit and let's just say, if I'm in a meditation and I'm like, oh, God, I'm thinking about something that's negative. And I'm like, okay, like, that's there. I don't need to

allow that to carry me through my day and have this like whole negative just connotation on moving through everything that I do. I just like I say in some of my meditation, it's like I like to envision myself doing something that brings me peace. So sitting on a beach, watching the waves, watching the waves come up and then watching the waves pass. Like that's what I'm I do literally with with my thoughts. I say, oh, God, they come. They come. And then I'm like, okay.

And I'm not, I'm choosing not to hone in on it. I'm allowing there, but then I'm just going to exhale it out, you know? And I think that that's, it's a nice little visual to kind of give you that permission to like, okay, it's there and it goes. So. Yeah, I love that. Oh, good. We have so many listener questions.

And I know we don't have unlimited. time, so I want to get to those. But I do, the last question that I want to ask you is actually something that was kind of the theme of a lot of the questions that I got from the listeners as well. But it seems like it's ingrained in us that in order to be in shape, we have to do more. We have to diet more, restrict more. We have to work out more and work out harder and sweat more. everybody wanted to know, can they get in shape by just doing Pilates? And so what would you say to that question? Oh, my God.

Yes. Please, please experiment with it. You know, I love that. I love that question. I love how you worded it because coming from the girl who literally did an hour of weight training and an hour of cardio every day for years. And it's not about size because that's not what the purpose of my practice is. But I was double, if not triple my size.

I didn't feel good. I didn't feel good in my own skin. And the second, you know, I tapped into that intuition of understanding, A, I didn't need to starve myself. A, I didn't need to vomit after indulging. And really getting clear with, you know, eating until. I felt fully satisfied so that I'm not kind of just, you know, running to the cupboards after dinner to stuff my face with things that I deprived myself up that day and allowing this space of of enjoying

my food and without like worrying if it was a cup of freaking rice or two cups of rice. Like, who gives a shit? I have a big appetite. I've always consumed more than they told me I should. And the second I threw out all the damn rules that was thrown at me for me for me. all the years of modeling and trying to trim my damn thighs. I like my thighs, actually. Just getting rid of all of that and then moving, right? Moving in a way that feels good where you're not going to injure yourself or maybe break the crazy sweat, but you get it in and you feel this sense of lengthening and leaning and toning. I know I don't really need to say it to you, but it changes everything.

It changes. For me, it is my mental state of not feeling like I was running on this hamster wheel of trying to get, you know, those two hours in a day of working out and realizing that I actually have the body now that I have always desired because I do less, because I'm kind of softer and I'm gentler to myself. And it's exactly what I want to share with my son and with my daughter and with every single female male, you know, I have most of the female following, that watches or tunes in because less is more. Less is more. And you can actually achieve so much more when you, when you lean into

being not so, oh my God, like intense with everything. I was a psycho. It was like, it was my anxiety even thinking about the life I used to live. That's so funny. I'm the same. I I recorded an episode last week on like my, my kind of evolution from like I was bulimic when I was in my addiction. It was kind of off and on. Then when I got sober, it got really bad. Then it went away. Then I was counting macros and I was doing and I was over exercising and this and that. And I was like, Jesus.

Like, girl, slow down. Slow down. I need to listen to the episode. Let me check. But that's what was ingrained in us. Right? Totally. Totally.

And it just, it makes me so. happy that this thing that I loved has given me this voice that I never imagined that I would be in the place that I'm in. But I believe I am because like this message is meant to be literally like yelled and scream from the rooftops because I, you know, I'm, I'm, I just hope that like I don't have to listen to my kids growing up thinking that this is the way that you have to live to feel fulfilled with yourself. Right. Well, your message is a powerful one.

It's important. And you are such a good vessel or carrier of the message. So you're definitely reaching a ton of people. Why don't we do the questions in kind of like a rapid fire or as rapid fire as we can? Because we have a lot. Okay. Okay. No pressure.

Somebody had me do this a few weeks ago. and I was like, there is nothing rapid fire about me right now. Like I... I'm such a tangent person. I'm like, sorry. What was the question? Yeah. Okay.

At what moment in your life did you notice a shift in becoming a more fulfilled person? When I moved into my own apartment for the first time, when I lived my mind completely by myself. How to deal with insecurities and stay grounded? You don't have to. rapid fire. Some of these are a little deeper. Yeah, I think it's owning where you are and and continually to reach and show up for yourself with all the things that really make you feel good. How do you manage constant anxious thoughts? Meditation and movement. This one is for both of us.

What advice would you give yourself 10 years ago? Oh, my God. I would tell myself to be exactly who I am. Exactly. Don't change anything. That's your beauty. That's your gold. I love that. Mine would probably be put down the blow and pick up a passion.

I love that you are so open with sharing. Hopefully someone needs to hear it, right? Yeah. Okay. I got this one a lot. What is a typical day of eating? Okay, so let's rapid fire it. Okay, so I wake up warm water with lemon and an oatmeal latte.

If I'm absolutely starving, I'll have a banana or if not, I'll just have those liquids and then wait until I have been doing on a Zoom call and then I'll have a massive green juice. I usually share that pretty much every day on my Instagram. and I will get ready and then I'll come down to have avocado toast typically before my workout. If not that, my sparrulina smoothie. And then for lunch, I have a massive salad or my salad wraps that I've been having on repeat right now. And I look so good. Oh my God.

They're so good and satisfying. And it goes back for that kind of mentality. I didn't allow myself to eat bread for a very long period of my life and what deprivation, which is what led me to binging half the time. And then I realized, oh, two slices of avocado toast on spouted bread, isn't it going to kill you? It actually makes me feel better and I don't feel like I need anything after. So that way of thinking really changes everything. And for dinner, I am, you know, I think my like diehard dinners are, I love my like

vegetable quinoa blend with my, oh my God, I have this new like coconut. Aminos from Brags. It's unbelievable. It's like, it's kind of like soy sauce without the freaking soy, and it's phenomenal you don't bloat after.

I also love my Pene alabaca sauce. That also looks insane. Do you have the recipe for that posted? Yes, I have both of those. Okay. I would say those are kind of my like staple, but they change.

Sometimes I want tacos or lasagna. I have all the pieces. I love that, though. Like I could not agree more that the things that we restrict. Like if you think bread is the enemy and you're going to restrict it, you're going to go eat 20 other things trying to feel that craving. And it's just so much easier to just have it. Exactly.

Like people, I would get so many emails about the date in my sparrilliness smoothie. I'm like, what is your, what do you crave? They're like, sweets, sweets. I'm like, put the freaking date in your smoothie and watch what happens. You're not going to do it for everything because you're satisfying yourself with nature's, you know, it's like what nature is providing. You're not having this process to deserve. So yes. I'm not good at the rapid fire guys. All I want to do is a lot of people wanted to know, do you do any cardio? So not, not typically, right?

But I do share like every now and then I'll have this, I'll feel this like kind of desire to like get on the treadmill and do my treadmill. series, which I love. I love to swim and I live for roller bleeding. So like if that was available to me, I would do that a couple times a week. But for me, my workouts are cardiovascular workouts. I think because it's not a conventional way of cardio, I promise you that your heart rate is definitely elevated. And it's, you know, you won't, you won't really know until you try it. And I don't monitor. I don't wear a watch or anything like that, but I really just go with how I feel that day, like pretty much how you were saying. I walk a ton, obviously, living in the city. I've been out in the Hamptons and I'm so freaking much.

But I move. I move. I'm a mover. I don't just sit around all day. And I think that, you know, like today I haven't filmed the flow yet. And I'm kind of dying. But I'll try to get something in, even if it's just 10 minutes to get that energy going. This is for both of us. How do we deal with husbands who have done? different lifestyles from us. Just keep doing your thing and your positive influence will rub up on them. And if it doesn't, then, you know, I do think it's nice to have a little sit down and let your spouse know how important it is for you to feel that they're taking the best care of

themselves, you know? Like, I'll do that with Noah and it's crazy because right now he works out twice a day. And like, I've never seen him like this. Damn. He used to go out and go for, you know, dinners and to go to all of his venue. So now he has a lot more time. He has more time on his hands. But I just keep, I think, positive reinforcement.

And just, you know, one thing that works for Noah is like, I'm like, oh, my God, baby, you look amazing. My tendency is to always point out the fact that they're not working at it or I see that healthy. And I've learned that does nothing. So, so, you know, throw them a little compliment. And you're like, wait, you look really good. Have you been, you know, and I think it was their confidence.

And then they want to keep doing it. Totally. They're like animals. They're so, it's so easy. I'm kind of the same way. Like I went through a phase when I was kind of first dating my husband, not like in the very beginning, but once we were comfortable where I was like the food police. And I quickly learned the food police is not sexy.

Like nobody wants to be in a relationship with the food police or the lifestyle police. So I kind of do the same. I encourage him. And I've realized that like instead of trying to take things out from maybe his diet, I just add things in. So I send him out the door in the morning with a green juice and I'll like stick a protein bar and his, you know, his work briefcase thing. Those kind of things.

So I try to like add to rather than take things from them. Noah called to the food police for years. That's why I'm crying out. Literally be like to his friends. Like I was the type that would like kick him under the table. If he's too much dessert and it's like that's not okay. I mean, granted, it still comes up. Sometimes I'll be like, no.

Yeah. I mean, meditation has really helped me like throughout because I'm very reactive. by nature, most of the things that could fly out of my mouth premeditation and then post, it's like I'm actually a different human. I totally agree. Okay, let's see. I'm trying to pick like one or two more. That's really good.

Okay. Do you have an unpopular gut health tip that you swear by? Yes, colonics. Oh. I mean, I guess I don't know that I would say that's unpopular, but it's very controversial, right? And it has done wonders for me. Vanya in New York City. I love you. I can't wait to see you. She's the best if you live in New York. It really helped me. It was always bloated. I had really bad acne. And I do believe it stemmed a lot from my eating disorder, but also from the negative thoughts

that I told and believed for years. And through food combining as well, I mean, I'm rarely bloated. If I am, I've shared, I take this incredible, very clean organic supplement array. I've shared it before. I'm a diehard fan. And it helps a lot. But my God, doing colonics, I mean, I don't like to give, like, I get a colonic every eight weeks. I don't like to say when I intuitively know when I need to. I am so overdue that I hurt. I hurt. So funny. I'm going to have to go there when I go back to the city. Oh my God. She's not and so thankful and lovely. How do you explain not drinking anymore?

I was wondering if you were going to ask me this question. I really explain it to people that it was kind of how I felt very called to become a teacher and to share my workouts and my meditations. this to me is something that has always kind of been there, but I was afraid that I would lose that element of, I think having a husband in hospitality and still really, like I love going out. I love like doing things and I don't think you need to lose that if you don't drink.

And I think it's, you know, society really puts this kind of weight on us, right? That it's like it's not normal if you don't drink or like something wrong with you. right. It's like, oh, she's really cool, but she doesn't drink. That's weird. Well, I think, like, why does that have to be? Why is it cool to share that you are pouring a glass of wine at five o'clock on a Friday? I don't think that needs to be what's cool and what needs to be, you know, put in these, especially younger generations base, right? That, like, this is, this is adulting. Well, I think, you know, times have changed and I'm really proud to say that I have never in my life felt more clear with who I am or what I want to do with my life and my voice than I do now

for not drinking for almost eight months now. And it was through wanting to live in more alignment and to follow my truth even more in such a bigger way. And I don't feel like anything is missing. I feel as if my life is more enhanced, I am having more fun. And I know I'm in quarantine. It's like how much fun, but I really like myself. And I no longer need these masks that I attached myself to for so long. And I think, you know, this whole kind of sober, curious rise, right? Like, I didn't even know it was a thing. And then like when I shared, even that post the other day, like, reading people's story. I mean, I was in tears reading people and how how living in alcohol-free life has just transformed them. And I also think, you know, growing up with alcohol abuse in your life, you can see how

quickly things can shift in the other direction. And I know that that's not a direction I ever want to take. And I just, I feel good. And I feel like there's not even like, there's almost like not a lot of explanation, right? It's just like, this is, this is where I'm feeling super content and happy. And why can't this be normal? Why can't I still? be cool and fun and not have a drink. Right. Yeah. God, I wish we got into that more. I know. I know. I mean, I think that, well, there's a lot of things there. I think that, like, for me, part of the fear of getting sober was the fear of feeling all the things that I would feel when I no longer had that coping mechanism. And really, like, the feelings, I feel alive. Like, I got sober and I felt

alive. I want to feel the sad feelings and put on a sad song and sit there and be sad. That's natural. And then let it out. And I feel, I want to feel the highs and the lows and they aren't extreme anymore because of like my meditation and because of dealing with certain things in therapy and all of that. But like I feel, I feel like I feel what it's like to be alive. And I'm not judging people who drink because you can also drink and feel that stuff. But just like for me, the biggest thing that alcohol did was it cut me off from myself and it cut me off from like any kind of spirituality. And that's ultimately what got me sober was spirituality and having a connection with a higher power and all of that. And the other thing is like a lot of people ask me, a lot of like sober curious or, you know,

people who are newly sober, they message me on Instagram and they're so worried about what people are going to think if they're not drinking. And I totally get it. But like, Most people are just thinking about themselves and they don't even notice. So true, you guys. I think it's so important to know. Yeah. Like my spine on that topic. I mean, and I do want to say too because, you know, I said like pouring glass at 5 o'clock, if you do, great.

But I also think, why is that just normal? I don't think it ought to be the norm, you know? And I think I feel it. And it's very new for me. And it wasn't, you know, that I was battling an addiction. I really went through those wavelengths of having nasty relationships to alcohol and attaching myself to things that didn't serve me. And through even having a mindful relationship with it, I just, I feel alive. And it could like when you were just talking, I actually felt like I was going

to cry because I feel so, why am I so emotional? I'm sorry. I think that's, you know, like that's what we're here for is to really feel so in tune with ourselves and like our highest good and what makes us like jump out of bed in the morning. And I can certainly tell you that even having just one drink, the last thing I want to do is jump out in the bed, or jump out of the bed morning. And that in itself was just it for me, you know, with kids and and and having a business that I'm so passionate about. It was like it just in no long. had room. It didn't serve me. So, and, you know, I think if we feel the calling, lean into it, baby. Yeah, totally. Well, now I'm like teary and I have chills.

I don't know why this really got me emotional. Just I think everything that we talked about and even myself the space to look at how far I've come. And I think that that's such a beautiful thing for anyone, right? Is God, I used to be such a mess. Yeah. It was such a mess, though. Well, your story is so inspiring and you are doing so much for so many women and it couldn't happen to a better person. I'm so happy we got to connect and maybe we can do this again someday in person.

I would love that. We are so lovely and just so kind and genuine and generous. Like, I thank you so much for always so genuinely sharing me, my workouts. and I need to meet you. Like, we are friends. We're so on the same wavelength here. And I thank you so much for having me as one of your guests. Of course, of course.

And where can everybody find you? You can all find me at Melissa Woodhalth is my Instagram. And Melissa Woodhalth is where I share my workouts, meditations, plant-based recipes. And I have an app as well. So if you prefer to use that on the television, TV, computer, anything, that's better for you. And I mean, I've never posted, are you into TikTok? God, I don't get it. Well, you know, I'm trying. I mean, I just post my like cooking videos mostly.

I want to. I'm just like, I don't get it. I feel like the old person in the room. And I was like, I'm not going to dance. I'm not going to lip sync. I'm not going to do any of that. I post like what I eat in a day's. so that people can see that you can actually eat and, like, still be healthy. Exactly. And then I post my recipes. So it's like I don't have, I mean, I have maybe like 15,000 followers on there. I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm going to do it. Melissa, if you do your workouts or like little, you would blow up. And the thing is, like, you reach a totally different audience. Like, I feel like they're younger and they're so in that mentality of like, I have to eat 500 calories a day and like do two hours. of cardio. So you would definitely shake things up. So we've encouraged it right there. I'm like, no, no, nope, coming in. We're going to share. There's a new way to you guys. And it's enjoyable. You want to have to play yourself.

Yes, exactly. Well, thank you so, so much. And I'm going to stop recording. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked it, and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes a long. way and it's actually the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde Files podcast on Instagram. I'm always posting about each episode there or over on my personal page at Ariel Laurie.