Well with Arielle Lorre - 83: Emily Skye - On Overcoming Hopelessness, Finding Body Love + Giving Birth on the Floor!

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

In this episode I am talking to Emily Skye, founder of Emily Skye Fit and cofounder of James Cosmetics, about going from being hopeless and suicidal to being an entrepreneur, social media sensation and mom. We discuss how she changed her life, beginning with her mindset, after attempting suicide when she was younger; how she came to the realization that she had to save herself because nobody was going to save her; how she began exercising and overcame obstacles in her fitness journey; how she finds motivation to work out; how her relationship with her body has changed over years in the spotlight and becoming a mother; her crazy birth story; and so much more!   •    Extended free trial offer for listeners of The Blonde Files     •    14 day free trial     •    Offer available until November 30th 2020     •    Code: THEBLONDEFILES     •    The code must be redeemed via the web and can be used across any plan type www.emilyskyefit.com   www.truniagen.com/blonde to save $20 on a 3 Month supply! www.WooMorePlay.com/discount/BLONDEFILES for 20% off your order!   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Auto-hue with Sunny Cars feels as if the children Not me be seen. Kiselstramble Sandvorda. Actis forcare Verdwine. Vacanty can chaotic

but who'sorgalos an auto-hurt says, Uno dos no stress. No own-vervarted costs, always fullledgely so will auto-hue

without your rice-adviseur or Sunnycars. The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey, welcome to the Blond Files podcast. I'm your host, Arial Lori, and I'm here to talk all things wellness. From how to achieve optimal health and well-being to the best beauty tips and everything in between, no topic is off limits. I know there is so much information out there, so I'm here to help

you navigate it all and live your best life. Thanks for listening. Let's get into it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. I am so excited for today's episode. I'm talking to Emily Sky, who was one of my first follows way back when I started my Instagram account, when I was strictly a fitness account. And she was like big inspo. She's always been super real, super inspirational. And she got really candid in this interview. So I just want to give everyone a heads up in case this is sensitive. But we talk in the beginning about her attempting suicide when she was younger. And she talks about how she realized that, that nobody was going to save her and she had to save herself. And then she gets into how she did that

and how she found fitness and how she's grown to love her body and herself and built this empire. And she also shares about her absolutely insane birth stories. So you don't want to miss that. And I just loved talking to her so much. And I think you guys are going to love the episode. So enjoy. All right. So I'm here with Emily Sky. Thank you so much. for coming on the show. Thanks for having me, Ariel. I'm so excited. I haven't done a podcast. I haven't done a podcast in so long it feels like. Well, I'm excited. My audience is super excited. I just have to tell you that when I started my Instagram account, it was four years ago. I started it as like a fitness accountability thing where I was like not showing my face or my name.

I didn't want to be an influencer or anything. And you were one of the first people that I followed. And you've just always been such a positive. positive influence where, you know, I think the fitness. Yeah, of course. I think the fitness industry and fitness influencers, you know, it can be kind of a precarious situation to be in and you've always just been such a good role model and carried yourself with so much grace. So thank you. I try. Thank you. Of course. So why don't we kind of go way back and I would love to hear about your life before getting into fitness, what were you into? What was your lifestyle like? And what led you to where you are now? Well, I was completely different to the way I am now. I was extremely insecure.

I suffered with depression and anxiety, especially as a teenager. I had no self-worth, no confidence. I didn't have very good body image either. And it wasn't until I was about probably 24, something like that. And I had enough of being that way. And I thought I need to make some changes. And I always thought that someone would come along and save me. So I was sort of sitting back waiting for it to happen. And then I realized it was up to me to do the saving. I had to save myself. So I started making drastic changes in all areas of my life. So I started exercising, eating healthier foods, surrounding myself with more positive people. I got rid of people that were bringing me down, which is really hard to do. I mean, it's easier said than done. But I just

tried to change everything to be more positive, especially my mindset, because I was a really negative person. I always saw the worst in everything. And it's not that I'm, you know, completely on top of it now. I do have times where I go back to that sort of way of thinking, but I quickly pull myself out of it and change it straight away. So anyway, I started making those changes. I was about 24th. I'm 35 now. I met my partner, Declan, when I was almost 25, and he, gee, that sounds so young, 25. And then, yeah, so my partner, Declan was a huge part of the changes that I made and I started getting a healthier sort of, I guess my body and my mind both changed.

And he helped me a lot and he helped me with believing myself because I didn't really have much self-belief before him. And even with my fitness career, I wanted to do fitness back then, but I didn't think I was good enough to do it. It was always my thing. I was never good enough. And he really encouraged me to do it and said, you're definitely good enough and you can do it.

So it was a combination of things, but I changed all those various things. And here I am 10 or so years later. And each year I feel like I get stronger and better at dealing with things. And I feel like I've got the tools to be able to cope with things now, whereas before I didn't know, I just would lose it. And when I mean, when I say lose it, I mean, like, I just couldn't handle things. and I didn't know how to get through them

and I'd sort of fall back into a hole of feeling really depressed and sorry for myself. Was there a moment that you can remember when you just decided like, okay, I mean, how did you have that moment of clarity that nobody was going to save you and you were going to save yourself? It wasn't just one time.

It was sort of, I guess, days and days went by and I kept not getting anywhere in life. I thought I'm going to either stay like this forever and this is a pretty sad life if I do stay like this or I can make changes and change the things I have control over and learn to let go all the things I can't control. So that's what I started doing. It wasn't an overnight thing at all.

I'm still doing it. You don't just make the changes and forever you change and it's all good. You've got to constantly work on it. And every single day I'm working on making sure I'm staying where I am and I'm not sliding backwards. And as I said before, I do have times where I do kind of go back a little bit. but it doesn't last long. I pick myself up.

I go to my toolbox because I've got things in my toolbox, such as, I don't know if you want to hear these, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Such as if I'm having a down day, I pull out my favorite music and I'll dance around to that. I'll go for a walk, get outdoors, get a little bit of sun, go to the beach. I take my shoes off.

I put my feet in the sand and I think of it as downloading all the crap and then reloading or recharging with good things and positive things. obviously training is a huge part, so my fitness makes me feel better. And then I work on my breathing and I go into diaphragmatic breathing, so it's nice and deep. A lot of people breathe in their chest and that's like an anxiety or, you know, an anxious kind of feeling or stress feeling. And that's what you do when you are in a stress state. But bringing it down deep is going to help you relax. So there's more as well.

But I go into that toolbox and pull out these things and I work from, you know, doing each one. and then seeing how I feel. So sometimes I'll go and listen to, I love Renee Brown. She's amazing. And I will listen to her and she picks me up and I feel so much better. I spend time with someone who's positive.

And I just start making those changes and I usually feel a lot better. But usually dancing to my favorite music helps a lot. I love that. And I love that it's so individualized. I mean, we can all talk about like doing X, Y, and Z for self-care, but it's going to be different for all of us. And I think that's so important for people to hear.

hear like find, I mean, find what works for you, right? Whether it's fitness, whether it's nutrition, whether it's how to pull yourself out of a funk and, and coping mechanisms and all of that. And I also think it's so important for people to hear that it's not a straight, linear thing and you just get over it and one day you're fine. Like I can relate so much. I mean, I have been kind of on this quote unquote journey for six and a half years since I got sober. and it's like, you know, you're up and down and you make progress and then you regress a little bit. But, you know, I personally like got sick of my own shit. Yeah.

And I just don't have the tolerance to be uncomfortable anymore. And it sounds like you're kind of like that too. Like you can go back there, but you know what to do. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations too. That's amazing. I've got a friend who's on his sober journey.

And yeah, I mean, I've been. never struggled with alcohol, but in other ways, you know, and you sort of go back to your addiction or whatever it is that is unhealthy. And so I understand that. It's just different, as you're saying, like everyone's different. So, well done. That's really amazing. Thank you. Well, when you were saying, like, recognizing the things you can't control and the things you can, I'm like, it always amazes me when somebody who's not in recovery and not sober has that understanding because I had to like almost die

and go into recovery from drugs and alcohol to have that language and to be able to realize like, okay, there are things I can control and things I can't, things I can change and things I can't, you know? Yeah. So when people who are not addicted

and in recovery say that, I'm like, wow. Yeah, I think a lot of people, they need to hit rock bottom for them to realize how bad it is. And it's sad that it has to be like that for some people. But at least, you know, you've realized and I've realized as well. Like I've been at really low points, like suicidal. I attempted to take my life when I was a teenager.

So I've been like in a pretty terrible state. Actually, at the time as well, I drank all my, I think I drank a whole bottle of vodka straight and took some tablets. And I just, I wanted to end it all. And I remember, sorry to get deep all of a sudden, But I remember just, I took it and I wanted it to end. And then I woke up and I felt like I was sinking through. I was in bed and I felt like I was sinking through the bed and I thought I'm going.

Like this is all over. And then I, something happened and I, I don't know what it was. I don't know where it came from. I don't know whether it was God or what. I don't know. But I started thinking, no, I want to live. I had this like desire and I thought, oh, what have I done? I've made a mistake and I was praying and thank God help me.

you know, I don't want to die. And then I crawled out. I ended up vomiting and I got better. Like I should have gone to hospital, but for some reason I got better. And yeah, it was the last time I ever tried. And I'm so glad I didn't because I looked back now and I think, wow, like I had no idea what I was in for with my life because I love my life now.

Again, I have bad days, of course, like everyone. But I'm so glad that I didn't, you know, end it and waste my life. now I've got my two beautiful children and I just think wow things could be so different yeah but I had to hit that rock bottom to realize yeah I have full body chills right now

because I mean I can relate and I think everybody can whether it's been to that extreme or not we all hit bottoms and I think there's going to be somebody listening who's going to hear that and you know and realize that there is something worth living for

and so thank you for sharing that There is. There is. If you're, if you're having those feelings, please reach out. Don't be ashamed of seeking help because it is more common than you think, unfortunately,

to feel that way and things will get better. And the state that you're in now, it's not, you're not thinking clearly and you've just got to reach out and tell someone about it, just tell someone to don't suffer in silence. It's the worst thing you can do. Yeah.

Things will get better. Trust me. They will. Yeah. I think there's a saying, don't make a permanent decision based on an impermanent state or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, because it is temporary. Have you ever thought about your cellular health? If you haven't, don't worry, you're not alone. Why would we? Well, it's super important because cells are the foundation of our health and make us who we are. And one of the important building blocks of ourselves is called NAD, which is vital for things like sleeping, breathing, eating, drinking, you know, just some of the important. important stuff that we do daily and we don't necessarily think about either. The bad news is as we age,

our bodies don't make NAD like they used to, but there is good news. There's a way to boost your NAD levels thanks to true niogen. True niogen helps counteract the effects of time on your body by promoting cellular repair. It also helps with healthy aging by supporting cellular function and metabolism to maintain overall health and well-being. True niogen can also help you increase cellular energy. So it replenishes the decline in NAD due to stressors such as lack of sleep, hello, and overeating so you can keep up with your active lifestyle. Taking true niogen also helps with cellular defense in the face of stresses, such as alcohol consumption or immune stress, which is a form of cellular stress. And guys, true niogen has caught the attention of the scientific community with its

remarkable ability to boost N-A-D, and they have over 10 clinical studies to prove it. So give yourselves a boost with True Nijigen. Right now, new customers can save $20 on a three-month supply by going to true nijan.com slash blonde. That's T-R-U-N-I-A-G-E-N-G-N-com slash B-L-O-N-D-E to save $20 on a three-month supply. Again, that's true nijan.com slash blonde. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, and this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Hi, I'm Caroline Stamberry and I am Divorced Not Dead. Fresh off the back of my divorce, I'm bringing real stories, real life, real talk on all things

that aren't said. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves for the happily ever after? Does our love story really have to be one great lengthy novel or can we be happy with a book of short but exciting love stories? I guess we'll find out on Divorce Not Dead and lucky me, you'll be joining me for the journey, so buckle up. Well, I have chills too. We got deep pretty quick, didn't we?

Yeah, I love it. I love it. So you hit your rock bottom. You started finding healthier coping mechanisms, finding hope, finding things that helped you. When you started with your fitness journey, what was that like when you first started working out? What was the rest of your lifestyle like?

What was your diet like? All of that. Yeah, when I started exercising, I quickly became addicted and I am a sort of, I guess I'm an addictive person. Is that the right word? I don't know, but I become addicted to things, but I make sure that I choose something that's healthy for me rather than unhealthy now. And I did become addicted in a good way.

I loved the way it made me feel. I competed a few times in some fitness comps, so the one we go up on stage and flex. And then I just, I loved it. I was so passionate about it, so excited. I was telling everyone I knew you need to start exercising, you've got to start eating healthy, you feel amazing. And it was like I had this superpower. And I made it my mission to reach as many people as I possibly could

and hopefully get them to change their lives for the better. And if you don't like exercising, that's fine. I believe everyone can benefit from it. But you find that thing that you're passionate about that gets you going and gets you up in the morning and keeps you going. And that's why I started my fitness programs and now I've got my app. It's just so amazing looking back all those years ago I started and now I've reached this point where I've been able to actually change millions of hopefully made some sort of positive. I don't want to say change their lives, but made some sort of positive impact on millions of women's lives.

And it's just an amazing feeling. And I think I always go back to, I'm so glad that I didn't end things because look how many people that I have been able to have that at positive. impact on. So, and now I've got that my app that's been, it's been going so well and so many beautiful women on there and they're like my family. And I, I try to, I guess, support and motivate them. And then they also do the same to me. So it's a really beautiful community. So a lot of people who follow me are trying to get started on their own healthy journey or they're starting, but they're having trouble staying consistent. So what were some of the obstacles that you faced in the beginning. And I would imagine that people who use your app and your community have

similar struggles. So what would you recommend to people who are having trouble starting or having trouble sticking to a plan? Funny, I actually just did a story yesterday about this topic because I've had to restart after having my second baby. And I think people assume because I'm in the fitness industry that I'm just motivated all the time. And it's easy for me. And I think the only advantage I've got really is that I know what I'm doing when it comes to fitness, but I still have to do the same amount of work. I mean, everyone does, has to do slightly different things and different things work for different people and they're going to get different results, but I still have to put in the work. And at the moment, I'm training super hard. I'm doing my, my own program.

I start strong program, which is for beginners, which is in the app. There's various challenges and programs in there. And I've had to pull out that, you know, create that motivation, I call it. I don't say you find it because people are saying, I can't find the motivation or how do you find it? I don't find it. I just make it. I just do it. I stop thinking about it and I stop procrastinating and just get it done because I was procrastinating a lot, especially after having Isaac and he's a really difficult baby. He's got colleague and cries a lot and I'm exhausted, but I know that I'll feel better when I work out. So I just stopped procrastinating and I just started doing it. I just put my active wear on. I train in my garage at home. I got out

band just started moving. And I was like, I really don't want to do this. I'd rather sit on the couch and watch Netflix and cuddle Isaac and not do anything. But I knew that I'd be better for it. I'm a better person. I'm a better mother, partner, friends. I'm so much better when I work out. So I had to sort of go back to how I remember it made me feel, even though I wasn't feeling it at the time. And then I thought, okay, you'll get to that point where you'll start loving it again. You've just got to get through the hard part, which is the start. And usually it takes, it's different for everyone, but for me, it's usually about a couple of weeks and I start feeling really motivated and I feel addicted to it again. And that's where I'm at the moment. I'm

feeling really excited to exercise every single day. I'm like, when can I train? And I'm waiting for my partner to get home or so he can take Isaac and I can go out and train. So it does happen, but it's really hard at the start, but you can't rely on anyone else. No one's responsible for you but you and you just have to make it happen and stop thinking about it and just go into what I call robot mode and just get it done. Yeah, I love that. And it's so true about the motivation. Like if you're waiting for the motivation or the inspiration to come, like you're just going to be waiting. Yeah, it's like when I made the changes in my life. Like I was waiting, but no, you have to do it. Yeah, yeah, totally. I find for myself with workouts, because I go in and out of motivation as well.

Yeah. I couldn't agree more with, yeah, with what you're saying. And usually like 12 minutes into a workout, then I start getting into it. So it's even like that first part in the workout. I'm like, oh, there's like so many other things I'd rather be doing. And then, you know, you just stick with it and it hits you. Yeah. And also it is important to listen to your body, but you've got to determine whether you're making excuses and you're trying to get out of it or you actually genuinely need a break.

So even if I feel really tired, I might just go and give it a go. And if I really am not feeling it and I feel exhausted, then I'll stop or I'll just do some stretches or something really easy. So just, you know, you're getting your clothes on, getting your shoes on, getting out there is the hardest part. But once you're there, you usually get something done and you never regret it. It's like they say, you never regret a good workout.

Yeah, that's true. How has your relationship with your body changed over the years? You've been very open about your postpartum journey and I would love to hear about that. but I'm curious, like especially being in this space and being on Instagram where so much of it is fake and you can edit everything and Photoshop and whatever. So how did you learn to love your body if you didn't? And how has that evolved over the years? Taking time, it's the same as, it's always the same thing. I go back to when I made changes in my life with my mental health. And when I started exercising, like it takes time at the day-to-day thing.

So when I first started exercising, I really love the changes of my body. I was really skinny back then. And I know everyone's like, oh, you're lucky thing. But I actually really wanted to have some shape and build some muscle and be strong. So when I started getting results, it was really motivating. And I loved the way I felt. And I started being happy with the way I looked for the first time in my life, which is hard to believe because I did modelling before.

And people would look at me and think, oh, you know, you look amazing. You must be so confident. and I was a complete opposite. And even when I got into fitness further, I'd been doing it for a few years. I sort of started off. It was still kind of unhealthy. I was a lot better,

but because I was competing and I was doing all those comps, I was, yeah, it was a little bit too extreme. It wasn't really for me anyway. I thought it was too harsh. So I kind of, I don't know if this is making sense, but I kind of went a little bit unhealthy but then got back on track and realized I don't want to compete because I don't like how I don't like it.

It's not sustainable. And I want to have a sustainable sort of life and then put that out to the world as well. So then I stopped competing and went and did more research. I was qualified when I was a teenager for fitness, but then I redid my qualifications and learned more and more. But especially about nutrition and about making sure your metabolism is good and you're eating healthy foods, not just focusing on being as lean as possible. You're going to nourish your body. So I'm getting off track now as well.

But yeah, my body relationship. There you go, M. You remember baby brain. So as the years went on, I got better and better with my body. But even when I was creating my online, I don't know what you call it, like the platform, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat,

all of them, I was still not really 100% confident in myself. And I guess part of it's because you've got all these people, you know, looking at you and judging and criticizing all the time. I don't really handle criticisms that well. I've learnt to now, but naturally I don't. I don't think anyone does really. And I was just, yeah, people would look at me again and think, oh, you know, you'd have nothing to worry about. You'd have no insecurities, but I was actually really insecure still. Better than I was, but I was still really insecure. And then as the years went on, I got more and more secure with

myself, confident in my body. And I started realizing there's no such things. perfection because that's what I was searching for before and that I needed to love all of me, even the things that I used to see as flaws. And now today I'm a completely different person. Every time, like as I get older, it's just, it's better and better my relationship with my body. After having my second baby, it's even more, I'm even more in love with my body. It's an amazing feeling. And I'm not just saying that. I don't know whether, I know some people online might just say things because it sounds good or people like this, you know, they like following someone who puts out these sorts of these sorts of messages. But I truly believe this. And I've never

felt better or more confident myself and I've never loved my body as much. And I'm more focused on what it does rather than how it looks now. And something that I always remember after I gave birth, I gave birth on the floor, but we might get to that later. I want to ask you about that. And then when I went back to the hospital and they did with checks and everything and I went in for my first shower because it's usually pretty messy. I went into the bathroom and there's a big mirror there and I looked in the mirror and I started crying. It wasn't because I was unhappy with what I saw. It was because I truly 100% appreciated my body and I was so happy with what it had done. It had burnt my, it had burst my baby.

I felt like it was burning when he was coming out. It burst him by itself without me having to do anything. didn't even have to choose to push. It just did it. And now he came. And I just thought it was so incredible. And I felt empowered. And I thought, never again will I hate you? I was sort of talking to my body. And I thought, never again will I pick out these floors and be so horrible to myself? And I actually put my hands on my tummy and I said, thank you out loud to my body. And I was crying. And I thought to myself, if I ever start going back, because no one's perfect and we do have those days where we go backwards, if I ever go back there and start feeling negative about my body, I need to remember this moment and remind myself what it's done. And whether you've had a baby or not,

our bodies are incredible. You can't talk self-care without talking about sex care. So I am here to tell you guys about Wu More Play. So Wu More Play is the all-natural sexual wellness brand that takes your sex life to the next level. They have got it covered from start to finish with their coconut love oil, freshies, and now quickies. So you can take your better sex life on the go, even if That's just in the living room right now. So I always use their freshies. I love them. They are made with coconut water.

They smell amazing. And these days you can keep them in your car for an easy way to clean your hands. They're not just for before or after sex. You can use them between grocery runs, all of that. Then for the best sex ever, you have to try Wu's coconut love oil. It's made with organic coconut oil. And it's good for foreplay sex, massages, whatever. it's edible. It tastes like vanilla cupcake. No joke. So I highly recommend testing that one for yourself.

And if you love the love oil, then Wu's new quickies are a game changer. They are these cute, perfectly pre-portioned packs of the love oil. So all you do is rip off the top and get going. No mess. No cleanup. So head over to woo more play.com. Use the code blonde files, B-L-O-N-D-E-F-I-L-L-E-F-I-L-E-S. at checkout for 20% off Woo More Play to start spicing it up. So for people who don't know, can you talk about your birth story? Yeah, I kind of, I'm doing these backwards now, aren't I? Yeah, so I went into Labor a bit over two and a half week. Oh, about two and a half weeks early, something like that before the due date.

And I was at home and it was about midnight and I was frantically trying to put my birth preferences together. So I did a lot of hypno birthing training in the lead up to this birth because my first birth was, it was the complete opposite. I wanted to do it naturally this time, but I got induced last time and my daughter got stuck and I was getting tachycardi when my heart was going too fast and she got suction out. Like all these things went the way, like she came out healthy, which was amazing, that's all that matters. But it didn't go the way I really ultimately wanted. So this time I tried to prepare as much as I could and I obviously was open to things could change. and you can't control everything and you've just got to go with it.

But I did the birth hypno training and a lot of it's to do with breathing. And so I was frantically filling out that form of the preferences to give to the doctor and the midwives so that they would know that I was doing hypno birthing. So they recommend that you do that. So I'm filling out this thing and I just have this feeling like I had to get this done now. And then I also did it for placenta and calculation. Now people have different opinions about this. I love it.

I think it's great, but who knows if it did anything, but I would do it again. That's my opinion. And so I was trying to fill out the forms on that because I had to put that aside as well with a box for a year percentage to go in and everything. And it said if you don't have these forms completed, they won't accept the placenta. So I'm stressing out going, I need to have these forms done. And then I was messaging my partner, Declan. He was actually upstairs playing PlayStation.

And I said, I need these forms printed. And he said, when do you need them by? and I said, oh, well, before I give birth, ha-ha. And I was, this was only like, I was probably in labour at the time, and I didn't know it, but I gave birth only a few hours later. And so we went to bed and it was about 1230. And I said to my partner, I'm feeling weird. I feel a little bit strange, like calm before the storm feeling.

Just hard to explain, but just really peaceful, kind of. It was just weird. So, and I kind of thought that this might be the start of something. Anyway, so they always tell you you could be going to label you couldn't or it could be weeks away. You just never know. And I also knew that to stay at home as long as possible. So this is what I always had in my head.

So I woke up. I went to bed. I woke up about an hour later and I was getting these like period pain cramps, which I'd been getting for days, but they were more intense. And I thought, oh, is this the start of it? I don't know. Went to the bathroom. There's no, the mucous plug or the bloody show that comes out.

You have, it plugs for people that don't know, it plugs everything in in your cervix and that comes away before you give birth usually. And that hadn't happened. So I thought, all right. Well, maybe it's nothing. I'll go back to bed. But if it is something, at least I need my rest. So I'll just go back to sleep.

And then I tried to go back to sleep and they were coming too frequently. And I thought, I should just track them and just see how frequently they're occurring. So I got an app. I was on there downloading a contraction app last minute. And then it was six minutes apart. I was like, oh, they're consistently six minutes. Oh, I've dropped to five minutes now. And then, oh, stop to four minutes.

Like, within only like 10 minutes or something, it was just dropping really fast. And I thought, oh, what do I do? It was like three. It was after three in the morning. Oh, it was probably getting close to four now. And my partner was still not awake. I thought, I'll leave him to sleep because there's no point waking him up. And he needs to take care of my daughter, Mia.

My mom was actually flying up too because of COVID. She couldn't get there until. that day, she actually missed the birth by hours, which was so annoying. But anyway, oh, my God. So then my partner got up and I said to him, I'm pretty sure I'm in labor. I'm like, 99% sure I'm in labor now. And he's like, oh, okay. And then Mia, my daughter woke up because she must have heard me stomping around the house

because I was like an elephant, so heavy, going up and down the stairs. And every contraction, I'd lean over and do my birth breathing, my hypno breathing that I'd train for. And then I got on the phone to my, the birth, hit my birth coach, Shari. And every time I had a contraction, I was like, hang on a minute. And I put the phone down. I was like, there's another contraction. I breathe through it. And then I pick it up.

She's like, you're doing so well. And I was like, so when do I go to the hospital? And she's like, oh, how often they are occurring? And I was like, oh, they're like two minutes part now, three minutes or whatever it was. And then she's like, oh, see how you go. Just wait another. I think she had half an hour or an hour or something and see how you fit. And I was like, okay, because I knew that it could take ages.

You know, you stay at home for as long as you can. So I was thinking it would be hours. And then I went into transition and it's where it gets the baby, I think, starts traveling down the birth canal, something like that. And I started getting really intense contractions that I was like, like even louder than that. And then Shari's on the phone saying, breathe, breathe. And I'm like, it's a lot harder than now.

Like, they're a lot more intense. But I'm trying to stay calm. what I was taught to do. And then I'm glad I had that training, by the way, because it helped a lot. Then I went to the bathroom and had the bloody show and I was like, okay, things are happening. And Shari said to me, I was like, so when do I go to the hospital? And she goes, well, when do you feel? Like, if you feel like going, you should go, do you feel like going going?

I was like, I was swearing going, eff and yes, I need to get to the hospital now. Like I was really demanding and like screaming and stuff. Not screaming, but like, like an animal, like a beast. And so I was like, okay. Like a primal thing. Yeah. And then I thought, have I got everything in my birth, my birth bag, my hospital bag? And I thought, shit, I don't have my eyebrow pencil.

My eyebrows was so important. Get your eyebrow pencil and your brow setter and make sure you got your James Cosmetics eye masks because that's my company. And I was like, I need those masks when I'm tired in the hospital. And so I was getting these last little things. And then I'm screaming at my partner going, get the forms that you didn't print. So you got to print those bloody forms. And then he's like, the printers.

broken. So I'm like, getting these contractions closer together. Anyway, he called a friend of ours to come over and mine's my daughter, Mia, so he could take me to the hospital. And then I was downstairs every time I get the contraction that are really close together now, I was leaning over and like, you know, breathing through it. And then I was on the couch. So I was on my knees on the ground, had my elbows on the couch leaning forward. That's what felt most comfortable for me. If you can even use comfortable in the same sense of giving birth. And my daughter was was climbing on my back going horsey and I was like get off. I feel so bad but I had to get her off and I was yelling out to my partner and I said he's coming get my undies off because I had

um undies with a pad on and I hadn't had my water break or anything like that but I thought I'll put the pad on just in case that's what I was told to do I was like get them off he's coming out I had this feeling like he was just going to come out I got them off and Mia was helping me get my undies off I think Declan was my partner was on the phone calling an ambulance by this stage and then got them off and my water broke everywhere and it was like the movies. You know when they say it's not like the movies, the water doesn't go everywhere. It went everywhere for me. I had a lot of amniotic fluid.

It was everywhere. And my daughter me is like, she's screaming. And then so Declan, my partner is on the phone to the ambulance of the lady and she's saying to him, now get Emily to lie back and just check if you can see. head and I was like, his head's there. His head's coming out now. Now, just lay back, Emily, she's saying. So I'm lying back with my, I was on my daughter's Matt, her play Matt.

My head's on her little, one of those mini couches. And I'm laying back and then Declan's having a look. And then he went pale. And I saw definitely his head's out by the look of his face. And the lady said, so Declan, can you see anything? He goes, yeah, his head's out. And then she's like, all right, just put your hand. there and hold his head in.

And I was like, yeah, can't hold his head in. He's coming out. I can't stop this. I have no control. Like, I was not in control at all. My body was doing it. You cannot stop this from happening. Later, I found out that it was the whole reason to put your hand there,

wasn't to pushing back in, but it was to stop him birthing so fast, because it was happening too fast that it can be dangerous for the baby's head and neck or something. So anyway, his head's like half out, three quarters out. The ambulance officers arrive, thank God. they walk in and then Declan was like, all right, you take over. I was like, thank God. And then the lady sat down.

She'd never done this home birth sort of thing before, but the man that was with her had, and I think he was giving her the opportunity to experience it, the poor thing though, because it's pretty extreme. And then so his head's three quarters out, and she's saying, all right, Emily, push his heads like almost completely out. And I said really calmly because I knew everything that would happen. Not that I'm adopted, you know, but I've done a lot of studying about this.

I've sent over everything that I'm going through and I always research. So I said to her, no, I'm not, I'm not experiencing a contraction right now. I just need to wait. So hold on. I'll let you know when it's happening sort of thing. And then I was like, oh, it's happening. And then it was like, it's like a bowling ball on fire coming out of you. That's the feeling.

So everything to that point was like I could manage because of the breathing and everything, the practice that I was doing. The breath is so amazing when it comes to pain. But that last bit, he was posterior too. So it means he was looking up with his spine in, like along where my spine is. So it's not the ideal position to be in. And all I was thinking was, oh, shit, he's posterior. I hope he doesn't get stuck like Mia did.

And I'm at home and they can't suction him out or anything like that. And Mia almost had to be emergency C-sectioned out as well. So that's all I'm thinking in my head. I was like, I need to get him out. So, yeah, contraction came. I didn't push because my body was doing it anyway. And out, the head came and then the body, you know, followed in the next contraction. So they put him on my chest and they had him facing up and I said, rolling over, he's not, like, breathing yet.

I was like telling them what to do. And I was like, you're going to get the fluid out so he can breathe properly. And then he was like, he was breathing and he was making noises. So I knew everything was all right then. Then I wanted to do delayed cord clamping, so I got to do that. It's so amazing because everything that I wanted happened with this birth, but I didn't really choose to have it at home. Although a few days before I was saying to my birth coach,

the heat my birth coach, Shari, I said, what I would love to happen is I do the full labor at home, and then it happens so fast that I don't have time to get to the hospital and he just comes out at home. Wouldn't that be so cool? I was kind of joking, but it happens. Careful what you wish for. Well, I then wished for, you know, millions of dollars to be dumped on the front lawn.

No. But yeah, isn't that amazing that that happened? And I got the delayed cord clamping, Declan cut the cord. I also got to wait to give birth to the placenta and did it naturally. They usually give stintocin to help it come away from the wall of your uterus. And they was saying, look, we want to give you this now. Like, we don't want to wait too long. And I said, can I just wait and see if my body would do it?

So they put me in the ambulance to go to the hospital. And then they kept saying, look, we really need to get this going now. We've got to give you the stintocin. I said, all right, put the needle in and we'll have it ready to go. And I thought, I'm going to do this naturally. So I went into my diaphragmatic slow, deep breathing and relaxed because that releases oxytocin, which is the natural form of stentocin. And that's what helps the placenta come away.

It also helps with the contractions. And it helps with the pain while birth. Just to feel you guys out that they don't want to know this, I'm telling you anyway, even if you don't want to know. So I did that. I went straight into the breathing and then I said, all right. I sort of wheeled it to happen. I said, all right, a contraction's coming.

I could feel it build up. You're ready to catch the placenta and the lady went down and Clinton came out. Wow. And then went to the hospital and that was it. Yeah. I don't think that was in too much detail. But where I gave birth was like a crime thing. And my poor partner had to clean it all up.

It was amazing. I was going to ask what happened to your daughter's play area. And she was terrified, the poor thing. As I was giving birth and I'm like, you know, pushing, my body was pushing, not me. She's standing behind screaming and Declan was on the phone going, I can't hear you need to shut up. And I'm like, I can't. You shut up, I can't. It was a lot.

And she was found in the corner of the house, like in another room shaking, terrified. Oh. Yeah, poor thing. Yeah. That is not amazing. I mean, I feel like I don't have kids. I don't have kids. So I can't imagine how powerful you must feel after going to something like that. Yeah. And that's why I feel so much more appreciative of my body, what it's capable of. And I thought, wow, I'm so strong too. And also coping with a posterior birth is not really the most pleasant thing, not that births are. But it was, yeah, it was really painful. I don't know how else to put it, but it was really painful, but because of that breathing and everything, it helped me get through it. But I still did it. Like my mental strength is strong, my body's strong. I just feel, I feel so, I feel like a superhero and I wish that all women could feel this way. Yeah. And I hope it doesn't take, I wish it didn't take giving birth to feel this empowered, but take it from me. We are amazing. And you've got to believe how amazing we are and just and love, love who we are, love our bodies and what we can do. Because it's, like, like, cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing. So, and you had your eyebrow pencil on hand then. Yeah, so you know,

when I did that photo of me with the baby, I had my eyebrows. Perfect. So that was good. Yeah, so can you tell everyone about James Cosmetics? Yeah, so James Cosmetics, a business that I started with my manager and my good friend, Sam, about, oh, it's probably three years. Would it be like? Yeah, about three years, three years ago. And I've always had an interest in beauty as much as I have in fitness. And I actually am a qualified beautician. I studied that when I was 21.

I kind of didn't know what I wanted to do, but I loved beauty. I loved art as well. And I loved fitness. I sort of been able to do everything. And we started with masks. And actually, Sam, my manager, was starting the business. And he said, oh, check out these masks. And we went away on a trip.

We're in England or something. And he said, try these masks. I put them on. I did them on the plane. But it wasn't until I got back to the hotel and actually saw the difference. And they actually worked and got rid of the under eye bags and filled it all in and smoothed it out and hydrated. I was like, oh my gosh, this is like magic.

And I said, can I please be in on this? Like, can I please do this business with you? I'm so, like, I'm actually passionate about it. Because I won't do anything that I'm not passionate about. I just can't do it. So he was like, oh, yeah, sure. All right. So he was like, oh, yeah, sure.

it together. And then got more masks made. We went from eye masks to full face masks to having the essentials range, which has everything for your face, including serums and other masks and sprays. And I love the hydrating water and things like that. And now we're doing more things. We've got more in the pipeline that we're working on. Yeah, really exciting things coming out.

But it's going amazing. And it's really, yeah, it's got incredible more than I could ever. than I could ever imagine and I'm really, really excited about what we're doing in the future. So I've got fitness and beauty sorted now. Yeah, it's amazing. What do you attribute your success to if you can? I think the most important thing is being real with people and, you know, talking to them as if they're just friends and not having those, all those polished photos and things that can't be too perfect. I don't mind a good photo.

Don't get me wrong. I love putting up a nice photo and making effort with myself. But at the same time, I also want to show the other side of it and being real with people and being really honest with them. So that's one part of it and also giving value. So when I was building my online followings on different platforms, I was putting out content that was engaging, educational, and they got something that was of value.

So I would put out workout videos every single day. for like for years and we're going back about eight years ago or something now. And back then not many people were doing I'd never seen anyone do what I was doing at the time

and that just got, you know, got the following because I was giving out content that people actually wanted to see and not spamming people. I think that's a huge thing. You can't just be in like sell mode all the time and always trying to push products and, you know, overdoing it.

You've got to give them enough value so that when it does come to the time because we still need to, sell, you know, at some point, people aren't, you know, over it by that stage and you've got good engagement and people are actually watching your content. And when you are selling as well, it's important

to still be real. So I don't do that too. Like, I don't know, I get it all perfect. Even when I'm doing my stories on Instagram, if I make mistakes or, you know, I look silly or whatever, I make sure that I keep that all there because that's real. And if I was talking to a friend, that would have been happening.

And that's what I always keep in mind. And people love it. And I usually do my stupid dancing and, and look like a fool, but I'm having fun and people really like that as well. So it's the dancing. That's the whole thing. Yeah. That's all about the dancing. Okay. So we got a lot of listener questions. Let's see here. I'm going to pull them up. What is the thing that you enjoy the most about your businesses?

I love being able to help people in some way, and that was the whole reason why I started, which we were talking about before. but even with James cosmetics, I love that it's getting women to, it's not just about the, you know, putting on whatever it is on your face or just about the eye mask and what about achieve and the results. It's about investing time in yourself and making that time to self-care. And I think it's the process of doing that that's the most important. It's the same with obviously training health and fitness. Everyone's going to feel better if they're healthy and fit. There's no doubt about that. So I love that, you know, I'm able to help people feel better about themselves in whatever way, you know, whatever, whatever makes them feel better.

And I sort of help them get there in some way. I hope that's making sense. Totally. Okay. So the number one question was how do you juggle two kids now and working out and eating healthy and multiple businesses? Bloody hard. Yeah. My biggest downfall is I don't ask for help

and I think it's important that we do. So I've really got to practice what I preach when it comes to that. I know that I'm terrible at it. Even when people offer help, I find it hard to take them up on it. So that's something that I have to do and I think that other people need to do it as well because I don't have family here

and there's not many friends that actually have kids that understand what it's like as well. So it's hard when it comes to that. But I'm very, very grateful to have my partner, Declan at home a lot of the time. He does go off to meetings and he's working and training and things like that. So he might leave me for like half a day. But I'm like, come home.

I can't. Like, I don't know how people do this. My mum was a single mom with my sister and I brought us up on her own. I don't know how she did it. I always say to it, I don't know how you did this because it's so difficult. Isaac's very colicky. Me is a typical two-year-old who you like to have tantrums and both of them will be crying and I'll be crying as well.

but you get through it and the phase. So you just have to, yeah, when it comes to juggling it, it's a nightmare, it's hard and you just realize that. You just get through it and break it up.

Don't go, how am I going to get through this whole day? Think of how am I going to get through this five minutes? It's like fitness too. Like how am I going to get through this? How many months are training? No, just take it day by day and get through each day.

But I try to make time and prioritize, obviously that's the most important and planning things ahead, making sure I've got things ready, like little things like getting my son's bed ready when it comes to nap time so I'm not stuffing around that window where they become overtired and get very, very cranky. Having everything set up ready to go, having getting my meals ready to go when I can. A lot of times when I don't have time to even eat myself, which is so bad because I know

that your nutrition is so important, especially as a mother who's breastfeeding. So I try to plan all that ahead of time. But yeah, it is really tough. And sometimes I think I don't know how I'm going to get through it. you do get through it, take deep breath, again, prioritize, write that list what's most important to you. And when it comes to training, just efficiency is the most important. So obviously, I put together an app that's amazing that's got all the workouts there.

And some of them are only like 28 minutes long. So it really doesn't take too long. And you can even compress it even further and do like a 20 minute workout. But something better than nothing. So even if it's 10 minutes, I make it happen. If Isaac's not letting me work out because he's screaming, then I put him on a baby carrier and I do something with him on me. You can make it happen.

But yeah, you just get through it. Deep breath. Deep breath and reach out, which is something I need to do. I like that too. It's just a phase. Everything is just a phase. It is. That's what I keep telling myself.

It's just a phase you get through it. It won't last forever. Yeah. So kind of a second part to that question is how do you make time for yourself if you can? Well, sometimes it doesn't happen. A lot of the time it doesn't happen. but I try at least once a week to do something for my self-care. So this is what I call self-care for me and what I enjoy doing is beauty.

I just love it. I love learning about the skin and then treating myself to good skincare regime and masks and hair masks and things like that. So I'll do obviously my James cosmetics and I like to sit in front of, I've got a red light, like red light and infrared and I'll sit in front of that and work on breathing. And even if it's just that 10 minutes, then it's better than nothing. And you feel so much better.

You feel recharged and like you can tackle the rest of the day or the rest of the week. Yeah. I have a question. What is your favorite James cosmetics product? Oh, no. I knew you were going to ask this. All of it, everything. I love all of it.

I do. That's genuine. But I do love the eye mask the most. And they're all so amazing. The gold's the most popular. But I just did one this morning, actually. I got up, throw it on, especially when you haven't had a night, a good night's sleep. It just gets rid of the bags and you feel fresh.

You might not feel fresh, but you look fresh at least. That's what's important, right? You look better, you feel better, is that right? And yeah, it does make a difference. And it's something you can do anywhere. So I've even put it on on the way to, like in the car on the way to something. I've forgotten about them. I've worn them out, setting a new trend.

But they're just so easy to do. You can do them anywhere. And it really takes no time because you can do it. housework while wearing them. And I don't have much time. So it's good to be able to do that and do housework. Multitask. Yeah. Do you have a business mistake that you made that you learned from that you can share? There are so many mistakes. The important thing is that you do learn from them. Probably the most important thing and the biggest thing that I've learned is when you're building a business, learn as much as you can about the business as possible. So,

Don't just rely on other people. When you're starting out, you don't want to be paying all these different people because you're trying to make the money so you get to a point so you can hire people to do things. But at the start, you've really got to be all over everything yourself and learn as much as you can. So with me, my partner and I learnt advertising and how to do Facebook marketing and how to – I taught myself how to edit videos and do everything myself and take photos myself for everything that I do I can actually do myself,

which I think is really cool to be able to have all those tools and know that you can do all these things yourself. But when it comes to a point when you built the business up and you can actually hire people to do these things and people who are better than you at doing it, do that as well. So you do as much as you can yourself and then hire people when the time comes,

but have eyes all over everything. So you're watching everything that they're doing. Don't just trust that, you know, a market is doing what they say. They're doing because we've had a lot of people that say they're doing the right thing and they're doing great, but they're actually not and they're wasting money and they're making no money and you're spending all this money on nothing to achieve nothing. So you can't trust people either, which is unfortunate.

But that's why you have to have eyes all over everything. Yeah, but learn as much as you can as possible. Research, never stop researching. I still research. Yeah, such good advice. Well, where can everybody find you? Where can everybody find all your multiple businesses? Well, usually you can find me on the couch with a vomit all over me and a baby breastfeeding and my hair and mum bun.

No, luckily I am online as well. So Facebook, I think it's just under Emily Sky. If you just search Emily Sky, that will come up. My Instagram's Emily SkyFit. Snapchat's Emily Skyfit as well. And my website's Emily Skyfit.com. And James Cosmetics is James Cosmetics.com. Not a you, is it?

I'm just asking and double-checking. I don't even know my own website. We'll think everything in the show notes too. Yeah. But if you just search my name, yeah. So on Instagram, James Cosmetics is just James underscore Cosmetics. But it's in my bio anyway. So if you look up Emily Skyfit, you'll see it there.

Amazing. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for your transparency and everything you do. It was so great chatting with you. Thank you so much for having me, Ariel. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked it, and if you like the show and Joe, general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes a long way, and it's actually

the best way to support the show. Also, if you want to see more about each episode, you can head over to The Blonde Files podcast on Instagram. I'm always posting about each episode there, or over on my personal page at Ariel Laurie.