Well with Arielle Lorre - 9: ALEXIS HAINES - Drugs, Trauma and Recovering from Reality Part II

Episode Date: June 12, 2019

In this episode, a continuation of Arielle and Alexis' conversation from last week, they discuss the Alexis' experience detoxing in jail, the most difficult parts of early sobriety, and what her recovery looks like today. They also talk relationships with older men, what it's like building a brand on social media (and using social media for good), and growing a community.  You can see Alexis on Instagram HERE Or check out her podcast here: www.RecoveringfromReality.com For Arielle's cookbook:https://theblondefiles.com/the-blonde-files-cookbook/ Follow Arielle here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ariellelorre/ And catch up with Arielle here on YouTubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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without your reisadviseur or sunnycars. combe. You're listening to Over the Influence. I'm your host, Ariel Lori. I'll be talking to movers and shakers in the world of wellness and beyond, and people who have had their own interesting journey, whether it be physical, mental, spiritual, or professional.

Thanks for joining. Let's get into it. Welcome to the podcast. I hope everyone is having a great week. I'm not really going to do any kind of intro for this week's episode because it's really just a continuation of my conversation with Alexis Haynes. So if you didn't listen last week, you can go back and listen to that. And in this episode, we just delve a little deeper into her recovery. We talk about detoxing in jail in great detail. She gets really candid. We talk about relationships with older men. We talk about, God, we just cover her. a lot of ground. So without further ado, Alexis Haynes, is there a moment, like, when you think about your sobriety where you can remember that the obsession was gone?

Yeah. Because I know people in early sobriety ask me, like, when am I going to stop thinking about it? And, like, people DM me all the time, and they just can't wrap their head around a life without drugs or alcohol. You know. I think it's important to give hope where we can. Yeah. Um, I feel really fortunate that, um,

you know, and I, I don't know how else to say this to people because I feel like when I talk about spirituality, everybody shuts down. Mm-hmm. You know, like they have to go to church or whatever,

but when I, um, really so I did the steps which were great and you know and I no longer I don't even go to AA meetings anymore I don't even go to AA I haven't in years and and I feel better don't take advice from me I'm just kidding there's no right there's no right or wrong way I think that for me the obsession was lifted I'd spent my entire life trying to check out. And when I developed a really strong spiritual practice, and I really fell in love with checking in that that desire to check out was lifted. And so I've had surgeries.

I've had life-threatening events. I've had so many times where I've, I've had to take prescribed medication. I had a C-section. I've had elective surgeries. I had three blood clots in my lung and almost died. I've had many, you know, very, I've had many experiences where I've ended up having to take prescribed medications. And not once have I ever gone, like, how do I get more of that? Yeah. In fact, my thought is always like, how the hell do I get off this shit as fast as possible? Because I hate feeling out of it and out of control. And so, you know, I just I think that a spiritual practice is kind of it is the solution for me. I mean, that's what has ended my constant state of dis-ease, you know, being, you know,

in discomfort in the world is feeling grounded and the things that I do, you know, like I said, like Reiki, I've got my crystals, meditation, spiritual teeth. James. You know, you don't, it, it's the thing that I always want to reiterate to people is like, everything that I have, you already have inside of you right now. You just have to learn how to tap in and access that. Yeah. And I think we kind of all want like the easy way, right? And the shortcut. And if we could take a pill and make it go away, then let's do that. But the thing with, excuse me the thing with a spiritual practice is like it enhances your life in so many ways that you can't even like begin to think about especially like when you're just getting sober but even if like you're not

getting sober and you just are feeling depressed or like you know dealing with something hard there are so many things that you can do to enhance to enhance your life that way yeah and you know my my, I remember my sponsor saying to me in early recovery, like, whoever told you getting on the spiritual path was the easy path is a liar. Like, it's absolutely not, not easy to surrender to the discomfort and to be okay with being, with not being okay in the beginning. It's really hard. But the growth at the end of it is so profound. and so beautiful and so worth it that and that's the sweet that's the sweetness you know that's the sweetness of life I also think that we're in a world now where we're programmed to think that we

always have to be okay and happy and that's just like total and utter bullshit like that's just not the way life life was meant to be like life um the way that we're currently living in this fast-paced technology-driven life is not sustainable. But, you know, and saying that we're, and it's telling us all the time that we're supposed to be happy. And the truth is, is that we're supposed to enjoy the moments, the happy moments, and every moment, just the way that it is, you know, and we spend so much time going, this should be better and this should be better, and I should be feeling. this way and it's like but no like this moment is just right now this is all that we have and so i hold

on to the sweet moments with my children i hold on to the sweet moments with my husband i hold on to the sweet moments i have in connection with my spiritual practice um and then i just realize that i'm going back out into the real world and i'm going to grind and i'm going to hustle for probably i don't even know how many more years my husband too and then we're going to retire and then we're going to get to enjoy maybe more sweet moments than, um, than we are right now when we're in this hustling phase. Um, I think especially for like our generation, we grew up as kids just with very little understanding of like how hard it was to actually be an adult and to work because we never had to do that. And so it's kind of like a shock when you actually do get into the real world and that's,

and it's fucking depressing. And for a lot of people, it's, crippling, which is why I think so many young people are still living at home with their parents. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's so bad these days. It's like they're not even young anymore. No. I mean 30-year-olds. I mean 30-year-olds. You know what I mean? And you can you can blame it on whatever you want. But the reality is, and yes, while there needs to be a living wage and while there needs to be access for more people to go to college and better education and all of these things. I don't think, I think that's a contributing factor, but I also think that, you know, when these young 19-year-olds come into our rehab, which is not cheap, you know, they don't even know how to put together a resume. You know what I mean?

Like we're failing generation after generation of kids. So we've got to do something about it. Yeah. And like why I got a job when you could just take photos and be an influencer? Which let me. Okay, Ariel, don't. I mean, how much time do you think you spend a week on social media? Like just.

Like actually on social media? Like planning your posts and playing the game. I mean, so like last weekend, the holiday weekend, I went into creative mode and I was working nine hours a day for three days straight. And then during the week, it's from 7.30 in the morning. Mm-hmm. And then I take a break in the afternoon. And then, like, I'll be working, like, doing something towards my work, whether it's emails or planning content or thinking about content or whatever.

Usually until, like, 9.30 or 10. Okay. It's all the fucking time. So I think that these little girls that, like, just post selfies and have a million followers, you know? It's so annoying. Okay. It is annoying because I, what I'm trying to do is to use social. media to like better the world right like my Instagram is like a blog and it is a full-time job like

it is um like I feel it personally right yes it's which makes it even harder it takes time away from my kids and from my life so I'm sitting there on Planoly like scheduling all of my photos writing content for an hour what girl okay you have an um it's the same thing okay okay okay so I want to be here, by the way, everybody. I've required this entire time. So, yeah, so, you know, up there, like, you know, my stories I do in live time, in real time, most of the time, unless I'm somewhere where I don't want people knowing where I am, then I post it later. But most of the time, it's, like, real time, right? So, but I'm on there writing, it's a lot of, it's a lot of work.

But, you know, my husband always says, like, no money is easy money. and if you think that money's easy money, like there's always a price. There's always a price. Whether it's your dignity or whatever, there's always a price. So that's true. You know, wise words from Mr. Evan Haynes. You guys met in recovery. We did.

We met in AA. Yes, we did. Good old AA. Yeah. We met in AA. I was just maybe eight months sober, nine months, nine months. Nine months sober. Oh, we went from the beginning.

But we started dating and I had about nine months. And then eight months after that, we were married. Yes. And we've been married for seven years. We have two kids. And we're just like madly in love. And, you know, so the 13th step worked for us. You know, I can't, I don't, to each his own for us, it really worked.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So far. Did not for me, but that's okay. I love your little comments There's all this time

It worked for like three years And then we broke up So there's that You just you know Find a guy who has six months sober I'm just kidding That was bad advice No you know what it was

Evan Evan had five Evan had five years And I And in early recovery like I said Like I just A couple of months in I just really dove and did the work And I kind of escaped

For like four months and just really just threw myself into personal growth. And I was going to school to become a drug and alcohol counselor. And, you know, I came back. He says I came back a new woman. Oh. You went from a girl to a woman? I did.

I went from my girl to a woman. I love it. And he's quite a bit older than you. He is. Yeah. We've got a little over 15 years apart. And the best. It is.

It really is. We've talked about this before. to be honest and I think there are a group of women who maybe don't even want to acknowledge us like I'm just I'm attracted to older men like I always have been I remember even before I was sober dating and being very attracted to older men like I would have sex with young 20 year old guys because that's fun but like as far as like where I saw myself ending up I have all always been attracted to older men and not even older successful men because Evan was not successful when we first started dating

I was the sugar mama okay I provided us with I was working full time he was just starting up the business you know and I saw his potential and again you know probably not the safest bet but I took a risk

and I'm really grateful that I did because you know he's obviously an amazing provider but he is just so grounded and I went on the skinny confidential a few weeks ago and we were talking about Evan at the end with Lauren and Lauren was like he's a stoic

and I'm like he is he is a stoic he is and I'm really lucky I wonder if the older man thing has to do with not having a father I don't think so because when I think about my dad I think that he's fucking disgusting.

I love my dad, but I was never like... But like the security of like having... No, because my dad did not equal security by any means. I just think that, I mean, when I had girl, when I had crushes, like in, you know, I was like always attracted to like the Johnny Debs and the George Clooney's and the, you know, like I was never like a Leonardo DiCaprio type of girl. Not even during Titanic. No. Like he's just too pretty with the like flippy hair and like he's not for me. Like I always loved like a, you know, salt and pepper beard.

And I remember he's at 17 just finding that super attractive. So yeah. So I'm turning 28 in a couple weeks. Oh my God. Oh, stop. I feel like an old lady. Which is crazy. crazy just to think about and then my husband's um 44 so that's a good age it is yeah i i keep telling

i'm like you're in your prime babe like i'm really liking this you know he's really into like fitness and stuff right now and i'm just got the six pack going and i'm like yes it's like the scruffy gray beard and i'm like there is nothing you know how everybody says he looks like is the guy from the the walking dead the the scruffy guy Can you Google him, please, for me? What is his name? It's like Nagan, Nagan, Nagan, I don't know. If you just type in Walking Deadcast, the guy with, like, the brown hair and the scruffy beard, that's, everybody's always like...

Andrew Lincoln? Oh, my God, your husband looks just like him. No, not the main guy. Okay. I don't know. Whatever. There's, like, five people with scruffy beards on that guest. Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Yes, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Oh, okay, yeah. Everybody always says that my husband... Yeah, I can see that. is literally his twin. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. I'll take it. He's hot. Wasn't he in P.S. I love you? He was?

See? Yeah. Yes, he was. I haven't seen that movie. Oh. It's a tear joker. I'm literally Googling Alexis Haynes' husband. We're going to split it with away. You can just go on my Instagram, but yeah. Oh, they do. Well, like crazy kind of, right? Yeah. Wait, Evan, did you know that you can just Google Alexis Haynes' husband and you come up on Google? That'll make him feel really great about himself. He's made it.

He's made it. So let's talk recovering from reality for a minute before we get to listener questions. You know, I love, love your podcast. Thank you. Oh, my God. It's my favorite. You know, that makes me really happy to hear because I hate everything I do. I really do.

Our own worst critics. We are. And we're just kind of starting to figure it out. And now we've got like a flow, like a flow of the podcast finally. Like this last episode, I'm like, wait, stick this in the front, this commentary here. And then the episode. And then at the end, now we're ending with a weekly affirmation for our listeners because, you know, I'm all about manifesting that shit. Whatever you want in your life, you know.

So we're doing this weekly affirmation. And today, this week says, I am at peace with who I am as a person. Love it. So I'm like, so now I've kind of got this like format, right? And, you know, I just, I really felt it going into my seventh year that I was ready to start contributing in a major way to people. You just, I can't personally look at the fact that 70,000 people a year are dying from. addiction and I just can't look at those numbers and like sit in my house and not not

that we're not doing anything because we do have alo which is our alo there's my shameless plug all the house recovery centers if you need to go to rehab hit me up no so we're doing amazing work at alo and I'm super passionate about the work we're doing there but I mean on a bigger level like on a grander scale so recovering from reality is a platform we talk about recovering from life, like recovering from real life, aka reality. And so we're talking about recovering from, of course, addiction and a lot of the podcast so far has been about addiction, but now we're talking about like generational trauma and motherhood and postpartum depression and divorce and sexual abuse and, you know, all of these things that

I think as a society we're dealing with that we need to recover from. because, you know, it's become super apparent that, like, our society, there's aspects of it that are really sick and dysfunctional. And so, you know, in order to recover from that, we need to talk about it. And so I'm just, I just am loving, I'm loving sitting down with various people and meeting new people and listening to their stories. And you're such a good vessel to, like, spread that message and, you know, you have kind of such a harrowing experience of your own and you came out on the other side and you have this beautiful life. And I think because of that, people want to listen to you and people trust you. And you just make it, you make it like palatable.

I don't know if that's the right word. Thank you. Like these difficult subjects. Yeah. And I want people, the reason why, too, like even sponsorship things that I get offered a lot of the times. Like I just, I won't take them because it's something, a lot of the things that I believe in that are good for your wellness are free, like meditation. And so like I often promote like different ways that I treat my mental health and stuff like that. And it's just, you know, and I talk about

the supplements I take and things like that. But like I just really want to grow a community based on like authenticity and, um, an acceptance in love. And, um, and I'm working really, you know, I'm working really hard to do that. And so I appreciate your love and support. And I just, and I appreciate you coming on my podcast and sharing your story. I think that when we talk about our experience, then we're breaking down stigmas.

And that's helping people. Yeah. Absolutely. And back to like sponsorships and stuff like that. Like I think when you stay true to like your mission and you do say no, and you just continue with that authenticity, like the right things are going to come. And it's going to be so much more meaningful. And you have a community that trusts you.

Yeah. And I'm manifesting the right companies into my life right now. Like that's really what I'm focusing on is aligning myself, you know, like certain vitamin brands that I know are owned by like Nestle. Like I'm not going to, you know, support your, you know what I mean? And it's hard because a lot of the things that I do, and use are smaller companies and so they don't really have the budget. But to, you know, but whatever. So we're figuring it out up until January, my Instagram feed was like just pictures of my kids and shit.

Like all of a sudden I'm like, I'm going to become a brand and I'm going to start a podcast and I'm going to build an empire. But you've been doing it and it's only been like five months, which is crazy. Which is crazy. Which is absolutely crazy. But I kind of went zero to 60 and now I'm like, wait, I've got to figure out all these pieces and like actually turn this thing profitable and like make money and like actually pay pay my producer but it's like um like lauren skinny confidential says right launch fast and adjust exactly so

i'm really i'm i'm in the adjustment phase right now and um thankfully things are things are adjusting well let's get to some listener questions here a lot of people asked if the producers knew that you were using drugs, which we kind of covered. Yeah. I mean, I think it became apparent like halfway through. But like, what are you going to do? Like, I was such an assol. Or they just turned a blind eye?

They just turned to blind eye. Yeah. Yeah. Did you using help your anxiety at the time or worse than it? Oh, yeah. I mean, like, that's why I used downers. It's like I just really wanted to shut it all down as fast as possible. And for anyone who's ever shot up heroin, you know, it's, you know, you just nod out into oblivion, you know, so it worked really well for me.

What was the detox process like from heroin in jail? Oh. Just to make, just to add insult to injury. Okay. So, you know, I'm really grateful that I never want, never had the option to go on Suboxin because I've watched a lot of really gnarly Suboxin detoxes. can't really compare. I would probably say, like, doing cold turkey and not tapering is probably worse, but, like, Suboxin kind of lingers.

Although, I did not feel normal for, like, three months. So the first time, I'll just tell you this story, and this is disgusting, but, you know, we're disgusting when we're heroin addicts. But when you use heroin, like, you don't go to the bathroom a lot. Like, it really shuts down your entire digestive. system. You also don't have regular cycles and it just, it kind of shuts down like a lot of stuff going on. Normal natural processes in your body just aren't working anymore. So I was in jail and I've got, you know, the cold sweats and freezing cold and just then running a fever and

shaking and like what I would say are probably like little mini seizures like where I just and convulsing but like still cognizant of what's going on around me. You just kind of lost control of your. Yeah, just like lost control of my body for a little bit. But so I remember one night I woke up out of a sleep. And so when you're in jail, I should preface this by saying like you get a roll up when you walk in, which is your outfit. You get one a week. Yeah, I got one.

Yeah. Okay. So you get like one outfit, a couple pairs of underwear, a couple pairs of socks. a sheet, you know what I mean? And that's... A mattress? That's that thin? Like one inch mattress, right? So I woke up out of my sleep and I was vomiting and having diarrhea at the same time in my

outfit, in my bed. So that was probably like the worst thing that's ever happened because I was also in protective custody. So like I didn't have access to... Like, I couldn't just like yell for help. Like, I remember like buzzing. the central, like, police kind of hub, like, where all the officers sat, like, over and over and over and over, like, help, help me.

Like, as I'm, like, vomiting everywhere, like, just so sick. Like, and I had to have a trustee come in. Oh, because they don't let you clean your stuff. Like, if you don't have the privilege of, like, the mop and stuff, like, you can't use it. So someone had to come in. I'm just, like, standing there, like, so ill. I had a kidney infection. Like,

it was so, from being so dehydrated, because they don't give you, like, water bottles, right? You just get the, like, the one milk and the two little juices a day. And it was,

so this is the worst. Or let you change. So here's the thing. So I, like, wipe myself down with the sheet. They didn't let me take a shower. I had to wait until, because you only get one hour out every 24 hours.

Everybody who thinks I'm cute, like, I'm not cute. This is like the most disgusting thing. Everyone's going, oh, I can't even my picture this. So I had to wait until my one hour out to go shower. But here's the thing. Like, the shower water pressure is so intense in jail.

And I didn't have like my shower shoes because I didn't have commissary come yet. So I had like no supplies. And when you're detoxing off opi, it's like every single bit of your body hurts. Like your eyeball sockets hurt. And so the water pressure was so high. And the room was so freezing. I finally got my one hour out and I was like just in underwear like walking around just an underwear because I didn't want to dirty the new outfit that they gave me.

And so I'm like walk downstairs in front of all the other girls like covering my tits, not that they cared because the people in protective custody are like criminally insane or murders. So it's not like they really give a shit. So I'm like walking down there like down the steps. I remember being in so much pain and I finally get into the shower. I turn it on the water pressure so strong and it's just like spraying off my. body. I'm like, oh, this is like the worst thing ever. And they have no sympathy, right? No,

sympathy. Nope. And so then I like got my little like towel that's the size of like a hand towel and like dried myself off, freezing cold and went and just I remember rolling up in a ball with wet hair on the mat and going like just kill me now. Like I'm just ready to go. Like this is, it was by far the most. How long did it last for? Oh, it just was never ending. It's never ending. I mean, like that was like the worst episode of like, you know, of, um, of expelling. I don't know. What's the way we're like just cleaning out. Detoxing. Yeah.

Seriously. Um, like it was just that was the worst experience ever. I ended up getting treated for, um, going down to the infirmary for IV fluids and being treated on an all-liquid diet for like two weeks. But it's just brutal. Just brutal. And then you used again, right? And then I went out, yeah.

I mean, that night, the first night that I got out, I got blackout drunk. I was super paranoid, you know, and I couldn't sleep. And I was having all these, like, issues from being locked up. And, yeah, it was like two weeks later. I was, like, back to shooting up. so yeah I mean that's addiction

the second detox was just as bad I did it again in there I mean that story is the worst I was prepared the second time so I'd never detoxed

right because I'd just used straight I'd never been without a substance so I'd never I didn't know what to expect so the second time around

I knew what to expect and I slept naked in jail You're like, it was by myself. I was by myself and myself. 23 out of 24 hours today. So like I knew what to expect. I just, I didn't shower.

I knew the water pressure. I knew like the commissary situation. Like I, the second time I was like fully prepared. Like I could train someone to like how to go in jail. Like how to go to jail and survive now. You know? Like I think I've pretty much got the whole like situation down. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my God. That's going to be my new side hustle. It's like jail pro pro for jail 101. Okay. So let's end with how do you deal with trolls and people who judge you? Well, this, you know, Brunet Brown has kind of blown up over the last year. And happy 23 years of sobriety to her today.

She has changed my life. I read her book. I thought it was just me. And it really focuses a lot on shame. And I realized that I was still carrying a lot of shame despite all of the work that I had done. And I wanted, I was doing things like I didn't want my daughter's friends. parents knowing that I was a heroin addict. And I, Mike, I live in a very Stepford community. You've been to my house. You like drop it and it's like this little utopia. And there's,

I was keeping a lot of secrets thinking that I was protecting myself, but at the cost of my well-being. And just really living not an inauthentic life, but just not really feeling like I could be who I really was because of the amount of shame that I had in my life about the choices that I've made and, you know, yada, yada. And I just felt like people wouldn't really give me a chance if they knew that I was like an ex-heroine addict, twice convicted felon, which I'm not anymore, which is great. I got your record cleared, right? I got my whole record cleared away.

I just read that the other day and I was like, I need to do it. Just remarkable. I'll give you my attorney's phone number. Mine is in Florida, so I got to get over there. Kennedy, want to take a trip? Great influencer trip. Amazing influencer trip. We were talking about going to Miami, so.

Yeah, right? Yeah, I just, I had carried a lot of shame and I think what I, I've just taken away so much from her work and from her writings. And she is just such a huge, has had such a huge impact on my sobriety and well-being. What was the question again? I totally want to deal with trolls and people who drive you. Okay, so once I like really fully like acknowledged, once I drop the shame, like there's nothing that, um, that anybody could say or do that like makes me feel ashamed anymore. Like I used to feel so people would say things. Even like on this most recent episode when someone messaged me and was like, you're a baby killer.

Like I can like laugh at, um, you know, at the, the message or, not laugh at it, feel not, those things used to like take over my whole day. Like I would have this adrenaline rush and feel the need to respond and all this stuff. And what I realize is that like if I don't engage with these people and I instead just send them like love and light, then I move on. My only thing that I don't tolerate is my children, you know, especially my second daughter who like I said was a high risk pregnant. and, God, she's just a miracle. Just like, I just don't tolerate people shit talk. If you're in shit talk my kids, like, you're going to get blocked.

Like, then it's just that's another level. But you want to say whatever you want about me does not really, or doesn't at all bother me anymore. And I really attribute that to her work. And one of the things she talks about is, you know, if you're in the arena, putting yourself out there, really being authentic, trying to initiate change, going the distance, and doing this work, the work that it takes to be authentically who you are. And, you know, then whoever's opinion who's not in the arena, who's not doing those same things, like, their opinion doesn't matter. So, like, your opinion, because you're doing this work, like, if you were to say something to me, like, criticism and

anything like I would be like okay like you know I'll listen to it but anybody else is like I just don't take the shit like I'm just not really willing to um not willing to allow that to penetrate my field my you know what I mean and so I just I just literally it's like water on a duck's back like it just let it roll off I just um you know I I just move on It's like... I had Rebecca Zung, who's a divorce attorney, but she's also like a master negotiator and like badass businesswoman. And she was on the podcast a few weeks ago and she was talking about that Bray Brown

quote. And she was like, if you're up in the cheap seats, like, and I'm down here on the field and you're not down here getting dirty with me, like, doesn't matter. I don't care. Yeah. I really don't. I really don't care. you know the people doing this work

anybody who's doing this work you know what I mean her book Braving the Wilderness Anybody who's out there really braving the wilderness Meaning like on the journey to finding themselves And being a better human I applaud you because this work is just not at all easy But it is so worth it

And you will find that over time Those other things They don't matter They don't matter And I really, I just, I only, I only have so much space in my life. And I just, I only allow the people who I really care about to penetrate that space and to take up that space in my life and, and their thoughts and opinions and things like that. Other people just don't really care. That's such good advice.

Well, how can everybody find you? Well, um, um, you can find me on Instagram at it's Alexis Haynes. You can find my podcast, which is on Instagram, too, at Recovering from Reality. And you can go to Recovering from Reality.com to listen to the podcast. It's available on SoundCloud and Spotify and iTunes and all of that. And then you can go to Alexis Haines.com to find out, you know, more about me, although this was a lot about me. I don't know if you want to find out more after today.

I think people will be genuinely intrigued. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, follow along. And, you know, if you're into like motherhood or recovery or self development or spiritual development, then I'm your girl. Yeah. You guys, she puts out so much valuable content. And you are so relatable and authentic.

And it's so refreshing. And it's so cool to watch your journey. And I'm excited to see where it goes. Thank you. Really. Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for having me. I'm driving out here, one arm.

Yes. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that talk. I love talking to her, hanging out with her. She's just unapologetically herself and open and candid and opinionated. And we need more people like her, I think. So I really appreciate you tuning in. I see your reviews regarding sound quality, which I'm now recording in a studio and working on my sound quality for the episodes that I record remotely.

So I appreciate you guys bearing with me. You know, this is a journey and I'm learning as I go. And also, I get a lot of feedback that I am monotone. So I don't know if I can change that because this is a whole. how I talk. But I will try to add more inflection into my speaking. Anyway, I do appreciate you guys reviewing and rating. I really appreciate you sharing it on social media and just sharing it amongst your friends and however you do that. It really means a lot to me and it enables me to keep doing this. And it's really something that I want to keep doing. I love having these

conversations. And so you guys doing your part really means a lot. Anyway, I will be back next week. Talk to you then.