wellRED podcast - 100 Men or One Gorilla? Who Wins The Fight?

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

Today the boys finally put the internet question to bed... who would win in a fight: 100 men or 1 silverback gorilla? CoreyRyanForrester.com to see all things Corey including tickets to St Louis Friday May 2 TraeCrowder.com for tickets Listen to Gravy Baby, Puttin On Airs, and Weekly Skeews! use code WellRED50off at FactorMeals.com/WellRED50off

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

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red, next day like sex, they care way too much, but don't give a fun. Next step makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck. Yep. Well, here we are, everybody. Let's do it. Well read.

The three of us together, once again, I'm telling you all up top, this is going to be a 55-minute John here. John, that's the second time I said John publicly in, like, the last couple of months, and I don't know why. Because that's a Philly. That's a Philly. Well, I couldn't have less of a connection to Philly. Well, I didn't know if you were, like, about to be there or something.

No. Have you been watching dope thief? No. Does that show hit, though? it does it yeah okay they say John a lot it's on my list actually I don't know if they say John a lot it's just a black show

right well John is isn't that also Baltimore because I feel like why are they say it I thought it was just a Philly thing but also thought I thought I thought John transcended racial lines in Philly it does it definitely transcends

right like I've said because like wrestlers from Philly use John in replace of like they'll either say gimmick like John and gimmick are like in set you know there are two things that because all wrestlers call the way that philly calls everything a john like john is like a noun it could be a person place or thing you know um and gimmick is the same way like in wrestling they'll be like oh hand me that gimmick over there and what they mean is microphone and so

wrestlers from philly will say john or gimmick you know what i mean and it and it has nothing to do with race does it come from joint that's what i was wondering too maybe i love that joint that's a yeah i heard love a describe at one time but I can't remember exactly what he said because I think he's a Philly guy he is yeah no yeah uh his band's literally called the roots right this this was a uh adjective not a noun but did y'all ever back in the day in your hometowns when we were teenagers did y'all use the the word joaner no i don't know i don't know how region that was it was literally just a salina thing or what but it uh it meant like like like begging or impressive.

That's a Jonah. Hey son, he got him a Jonah buck last weekend, buddy. Let me tell you right now. He got a Jonah deck on him. That type of thing. But yeah, I hadn't thought of that in years, but John made me think of it, and then I realized I didn't know

if that was a thing everywhere or just us. Did y'all ever, maybe this was just because I'm from a Civil War town, but I thought maybe it was a South thing. I thought maybe it was a South. I'm not about to say the N-word. but like whenever you we had that one

whenever you when you fuck somebody over you're about to fuck somebody over you call rosecrans on them like you would be like oh man he rosecrans me you know is rosecrans a general yeah rosecrans is the one that got

fucked by Sherman I'm pretty sure you know what I mean like that son that's not a determinism you can't win no you can win a sword fight with a name like Rose Crane Like my buddy, when we was playing beer pong, my buddy Jonesy, who was a huge Jonah, big Jonah, anytime he was playing beer pong and somebody was like up on him, he would just like stare through their eyes and just go, Rosecrans.

And they'd miss that shit every time he fucked him with like old Civil War voodoo. He'd call Rosecrans on them. If you say it too many times, the ghosts of all the slaves come and haunt your dick. Come back and get set on fire. Yeah. He was a he Okay. So he was a,

he was a union general because I was thinking, I was working. That's what it was. There's a prominent one that got fucked by Sherman. He was, he fucked the South. There's a prominent street in, in L.A.

called Rosecrans. Yeah. And I didn't know if it was, you know, the same dude. And I still don't know because I mean, he was from fucking Ohio, I think.

Yeah. Everybody was from, everybody's from Ohio back then. But, uh, he caused, uh, the Confederate General Bragg to abandon the critical city of Chattanooga.

That's right. That's right. Rose Cranes' pursuit of Bragg ended. Pursuit of Bragg ended during the bloody battle of Chickamauga, where his unfortunately worded order mistakenly opened a gap in the union line, and Rosecrans and a third of his army were swept from the field. There you go. The siege in Chattanooga.

He was relieved of command by Ulysses S. Grant. So yeah, he lost the Battle of Chick-Ochikaze. Chickamauga. There you go. There you go. Yeah. So there you go. So that is a bad rider?

Yeah. Do what? Oh yeah. Yeah. Dude, have I ever told you all, speaking to which, have I ever told you all the story of William Lytle from the Civil War? It's very interesting. There's a spot where I walk in the park. And when you get to a certain point, there's a plaque that with an arrow, right?

And it says to the point where Lytle fell, right? And we, I never thought about it. We just always use it as a marker. It's like you get to the park. where Lytle fell. Then you walk up this hill and there's this big monument to William Lytle, right? And so when we were kids, it was always just like, oh, yeah, William Lytle, he must have been like some badass general or whatever, some bitch.

Well, the story of William Lytle is actually a little bit crazier. So William Lytle was a, if I'm not mistaken, a union soldier, right? And so, but William Lytle, before the war was a well-known poet, right? He was a poet. Like he was not a fighting man. It was just like, hey, look, the war is going on. You got to fight. But his poems were popular across the country, right?

And he was sort of a famous guy. Well, during the war, one of the Confederates took, like, William Lytle's riding up this hill, and they shoot him off the horse, right? They get down, and the dude realizes, like, holy shit, I think I recognize this guy. And somebody came up and they look at his papers or whatever, and they're like, that's William Lytle. all these Confederate soldiers realized like, oh my God, like, that's the poet. You know what I mean?

And there was this moment of like, oh, wow, war. These are real people. You know what I mean? Like, they had this existential crisis. And they actually, like all these Confederates got his body and had like that fucking Anakin Skywalker type memorial to him or whatever. And they sat there and they prayed and they played songs and stuff. And a lot of them actually thought about deserting the war because they,

was like the first time they realized like these are not our enemies you know what i mean like we're all like this is this is a person this is a person that we really respected and so william lytle again the confederates shoot him down but then they had like a viking funeral for the son of a bitch because they all loved and respected him and understood that like we're all on the side of this fucking invisible line and none of this is real and this is crazy which i think that'll be shane gillis in america's next civil war that's funny you're finding out you accidentally shot

the arena yeah but they did they felt bad because they were like I mean by all intents and purposes he was a union general riding up they were supposed to shoot him but then they found out like oh dude this dude bangs

he's got hits that I like I wish I hadn't shot him I don't I'm just going to completely change the subject because I just assumed and if y'all don't want to it's fine but you know I just assumed we'd at least weigh in on

I'm curious. Are we in agreement here that state my position that a hundred men would absolutely take down a gorilla? I'm not. I was on your team for a minute, but I'm not anymore. I've looked into the data. I'm interested to talk about it because I just don't see any way. I've also been reading about it too. Are they in like a gladiator arena with no weapons? No weapons, yeah, it's just a hundred dudes. So, yeah, this is one of those cases of. Did you see it on Twitter?

Drew? No, I only have heard honestly black Twitter. I just saw something like a hundred you know the word would take him out but them first three going to look like this and it was like a squid work drunk looking. Yeah my favorite one was like the rest of the in words are going to talk

about what the gorilla did to that first one for generations. So at first me and Neotray I sent it to you and you know you mentioned you were like, I feel like dudes in the Roganverse would have a way different take on this than most people would. And at first I was like, yeah, it's a hundred. You know what I mean? Like it's a hundred. So whatever. I think, especially if they were badasses. But I looked into the data man and like it's pretty impossible for a human being, let alone however many, to actually cause harm to a gorilla. like their skin is way tougher than ours it's covered in muscle like they can they can lift you know nine times their body weight or whatever like i don't think it would be the line even close okay i agree

but in the opposite direction i don't even think it would take a hundred i don't know what the number is but i don't think i think a hundred is more than enough and here's i i know everything you just said and i know that it's true and accurate but like the guy did say drew he did one of the things he did stipulate. He didn't stipulate very many, but he did stipulate they got to be dedicated to the shit, right? Which is, I think, is a way to have a plan. So one of the parameters is like, well, also, they're all willing to die. Every single one of them is willing to die. And right. And so that's important. Because yes, if it's just regular dudes and that's not the case, people are going to scatter, people are going to run off whatever. But if they are all dedicated and they are all willing to die,

like even if they just go add him six to eight to ten guys at a time and they just get mowed down for a little bit the gorilla is going to be like like wiped out fatigued before he gets through a hundred guys and when he's like that and you still got 30 completely fresh dudes in a gorilla that can't even stand or hardly breathe anymore like it's over I mean all they got to do is go up and just choke him out fucking do whatever they could gouge his eyes out cut to bonnie blue and just be like, well, if you got to want it, if you're going to go through 100 guys, six to eight time. But they can, they could also, if they're willing to die, you could essentially, I mean, I don't know how many guys it would take, but you just dog pile on top of them. And some of the people. I don't buy your 6 to 8, I'm sorry, because the gorilla knows he's going to die.

Right. Well, that's the other thing, too. People have been pointing out, it's like, okay, but guerrillas, they're peaceful vegetarians. And it's like, okay, but. Yeah, but not if they're attached. In this assumption, wait, even then, though, they're not like, like a grizzly bear would be way harder to fuck with

and then a, and then a gorilla would be in your life. For a hundred people? I don't think so. Yeah, dude, dude, a grizzly bear is, dude, a grizzly bear is like two to three times bigger than a gorilla. But not as strong. They are actual, like, hunters and predator, dude, a grizzly bear would wreck a gorilla.

I agree. I agree. You think so? Yes. Okay. I believe. You're not, you're, again, three to four times the size and are actual, like, killers. Gorillas are not by their nature. But, but,

Rick was wondering out about a gorilla's skin. The grizzly bear's paw would get through that pretty easy. Okay, but like, by his nature, our buddy Brian's not a killer, but if he was in the situation where he had to, he fucking could. I'm actually, what I was trying to say is,

yeah. Oh, he would easily kill someone. I know, but he's not, like, he's a sweet guy like that's not, he's not predatory. What I was trying to say there was like, I think if, you're saying that every man is willing to die

and committed to the cause, then you have to also, for this thought experiment, make the allowance that the gorilla is fucking down the fucking panel. Yes, yes, of course. So like, of course. So it doesn't really matter that they're peaceful or whatever. But I'm saying, if you're willing to sacrifice enough lives and it doesn't matter which ones

or which, whatever, there's a bunch of different ways a hundred dudes could take down a gorilla that he just, he just couldn't again, even the simplest to prodig. Give me your counter argument to the dog pile. And again, in this scenario, they don't care if they're going to die. So the gorilla would bite through everybody.

Like the gorilla would bite through. It would they choke him. I guess that's the other question I have for you. But also, guerrillas don't get fatigued as much. Like, I mean, they get fatigued, but I saw a dude. And this is, by the way, this, I have no knowledge on this other than stuff I've read. But I saw a gorilla expert weighed in on this, you know, a actual dude who's like, I work with guerrillas. And he suggested, yeah, yeah, Wayne Goodall.

And so I, he proposed that basically a gorilla to take out the first 50, he's like a gorilla could literally work at 50% of his natural strength and take out the first 50. Like it wouldn't be anything. Dude. That was nothing too. People keep talking about it like they're assuming it is a one at a time situation and that's insane. Well, that is insane. It's one at a time. It's not a movie.

Of course. Right. Like, of course the gorilla could take 100. He made the point of like if a bunch of dudes swarm a gorilla, the gorilla is so strong that by him just like fucking throw in his arms, he could knock 20 motherfuckers off. Like no problem. Also, throw them like in the, like literally grab their leg. And also a gorilla's strength.

Again, now this is he was talking about, he was talking about operating at 50%. He's like a gorilla not even meaning to would rip your arm off. Like if a gorilla was just trying to throw you. off of him, it would rip your arm off. Like, that's how strong they are. According to the rules, Trey, if he did that, could I pick up that arm and try to beat him? People have been making that allowance. Yes.

The gorilla can pick up limbs, so completely. One hilarious black guy said, A small bone into a knife. One hilarious black guy said, People had brought that up to and said, probably not. Probably not going to have time to make that happen. Yeah. Or the energy.

One hilarious black gentleman on Twitter said, the gorilla would just pick up the first guy and beat the shit out the other 99 with the first guy. Right. Just helicopter him around. That is hilarious and I know that they physically can do that, but I just think that people are not really conceptualizing. 100 is a lot of people.

The number 100, like 100. We all, you learn to count to 100 when you're five or whatever. And it's like, go in front of 100 people in a room. It's a lot of people. Right. And it's like, and these are all able-bodied dudes who are, who can fight and are willing to die. And I just don't, I just don't think.

The gorilla is also way. if they're not organized. The grill's also way faster. He can chuck and jive and get away. I just think $1.00 is just too much. It's like, you know. How long do they have to prepare? Well, that's, I mean, that's one of the things that I think is up for debate.

Because yes, I think that's, that I feel like is unclear. Because that's usually the case with like when you talk about Batman and Superman, which it's like anybody that knows the powers of Superman, you're like, Superman, like, to me, the reason that Batman versus Superman should have never been a movie is because, like, yeah, granted, Batman did end up having a kryptonite or whatever, which is one thing. But if you take that away, it's like, bro, Superman bodies anybody because he's a super mortal being. Like, it's crazy. But then everybody was like, okay, but how long does Batman have to prepare? Because that is, you know, Batman is one of the world's greatest detectives.

He could set up traps. He could do all this stuff. And that is different. Like, if you give 100 dudes, military. Training, tactical guerrilla training, and be like in six months you're fighting this gorilla. Maybe. But if you just throw 100 dudes in there right now, like, again, dude, I was on your team. You know I text you.

I was like, dude, 100, that'd be fine. But like, the more I read into it, like, you kind of can't hurt their, you can't penetrate their skin. Like, their skin is too tough. Their skin is so thick. And then it's covered by muscles. And like, it's nuts, man. Guerrillas are fucking crazy. Right.

But what a. Okay. On top of pilot. on it. Then what? How do we kill the gorilla? You don't. I think you got to get it. You fucking jab his goddamn eyes out. Well, I get down in its gorilla skull. It won't matter. If they gouge his eyes out, that wouldn't make a difference.

No, that just making mad. Then he just start going crazy. I was wondering, Tudre, if you did the dog pile method, if you could just keep dog piling and obviously two or three layers of men are going to die, but on the bottom is can you suffocate slash smush the gorilla that way? Right. But to be honest, I don't know. Like a tush push situation. Like you're sacrificing the front line. Yes.

Yeah. I mean, you're going to have to do that. There's going to have to be, but see, that too, like psychologically, think about that conversation. You got a hundred dudes. Everyone's kids are going to die. Right. Okay. But then you've got to, but then they're having an internal battle of like, so 20 of us have to die.

Well, I mean, my first argument for myself, if I'm in the pit is like, I can, climb you easier and you can climb me, you know. But then I, but I know if I go that route, I'm going to look over at another dude smaller than me and be like, and you got to be on top of me, you know, I'm in the middle. We also talk about though, like, yeah, it's 100, but those, but like those numbers are going to dwindle pretty quickly. Like, it's eventually going to just get down to 50 because the gorilla, I think most, they're 50 pretty easily.

And now you're down to now it's just 50. And also, not only are they 50, they're wounded, they're sick. scared. They're fatigued. I don't know, man. If you get an armor or a hand ripped off, you might be able to shove it down his throat if you get really tired and chucking. That's the main thing. I just don't remember. We've talked before about how, and like, combat is different than just running,

but we've talked before about how, like, humans actually have more stamina than any animal in the animal kingdom. Sure. And, and there's a hundred of them. But I'm saying that, again, this dude's talking. I'm going to wear the gorilla. I just don't, I just do not think a gorilla could get through 100 people without, without wearing itself out. All right.

Like to the point where it can't move anymore. And then you shove an arm down his throat, you do whatever you want. Like he can't, he's done. So this dude's already said, I've already heard this from a guerrilla expert, that like, if you were just talking about humans with human fists, a human fist, it doesn't really do much to a gorilla because their skin is thicker. The problem with this guy as he's a gorilla expert, not like murdering a gorilla expert. That's fair. We haven't even brought up punching it. We're not stupid.

We know you can't punch the gorilla. Okay. Okay. But like, gorillas are also intelligent, right? They're the closest to us of any animal, right? So this gorilla, hypothetically, it knowing you can't punch through his shit, it's got, it's epidermis is so thick. By the way, its bones are like four times thicker than our bones.

You're not breaking its bones, right? So this gorilla just gets down in the fetal position and lays down like this and he ropedopes everybody essentially where they're sitting there trying to beat the gorilla and they can't. Then they all get worn out and the gorilla just gets up with his claws in his mouth and just starts eating everybody. I mean that, Corey, no gorilla is going to come up with that. He might do that because he's genuinely trying not to be killed by these things. That's what I'm saying. It's an instinct thing. I don't think he go into it. said, we've already said the gorilla has, it has to be like bloodlusted.

It has to be like berserk or something because a regular gorilla, a regular gorilla, any gorilla that would turtle up would just run away from these guys. He wouldn't do this. I just think, so like if he's getting, if he's going to throw down, he's not going to like cower and do a rope a dope thing. Plus humans are smarter than gorillas. I feel like they'll, they'll realize that. Are they, though, are these 100 smarter than the gorilla?

Yes. Yes. Dude, gorillas are smart for apes, but. I know that. But they're also strong for robots. Like, dude, again, Trey, I was on your team. Like, I was on your team. And I feel like I'm being pretty progressive here because I was on your team at face value.

And then I did my own research. And it's like, and by the way, consulted monkey, monkey experts. Like, I didn't just ask fucking, like, some dips shit on Twitter. What do you think? Yeah, bro. Like, I talked to, I've looked at monkey experts. And it's like, I don't think there's Wayne Goodall. Wayne Goodall, bro.

Like, I'm telling you, dude, I don't think, I'm not saying there's not a chance. I'm just saying, like, it ain't easy work. Well, that, of course it ain't easy work. But also that guerrilla expert, like, I mean, I would argue he, you know, he biased. What we should do is take all the hundred people, whatever hundred people were at January 6th. What we should do is this should be their tribunal. You know what I mean? Like, we should just, right.

Let's, let's settle this. Get 100 January 6 motherfuckers. The people think they're the baddest motherfuckers. on earth, put him in there with the gorilla and the ones that live, pardoned. You know what I mean? And we don't even act like you did anything wrong. But I'm telling you, dude, the gorilla going to work there. Only two negatives of that.

One is, that's a waste of a good gorilla, even if it don't die, I feel bad for it. Two, the strongest ones are going to survive. Like, you could be like, you're going to make three super J-6ers. Yeah, that's, no, you should. We still, we lie to him. We shoot them afterwards. We put a tiger in there right after. words.

Sike. Sike, sorry. I mean, I've seen other monkey experts say that a chimp would be tougher than a gorilla. Than a silver-back gorilla? What this has to do with the mentality thing. Chimps are very violent. Of course they are. They do show.

Well, gorillas are not. But again. Right, but they wouldn't be if they were attacked. Like, No, no, they wouldn't.

You have to, you have to, you have to. They want I shoot Harambe. You have to hype. Well, he didn't do nothing. I know.

They shot him because it was a toddler and they were worried he might, but he didn't. Yeah, right. Of course. Right. I'm saying you have to hypothetically say this is like, this is a gorilla that's been domesticated. No, given some, you have to just hypothetical, just like you have to have to say all the men, all the men are willing to die, which you can't just make be true.

But for a thought experiment, you can. You have to say also this gorilla is bloodlusted or berserk or whatever. The people they're saying like a chimp would be harder. They're talking about real life chimps. gorillas because a real-life gorilla, they're not violent. They're showy and they don't do shit like that. Okay. All right. How about this? New hypothetical. Because it's all make-believe. New hypothetical.

Same gorilla, same hundred people, except for the gorilla has just watched these hundred people murder its gorilla baby. I mean, it, but it... You don't think it'd be bloodlusty then? I'm just saying... Have you seen a peacock when a motherfucker gets near its eggs? A peacock ain't a gorilla. saying we can just snap our fingers and make it bloodlusted. Like you don't need.

Okay, fair. I'm just, I'm just saying. Again, dog, I agreed with you for two days. I don't believe it anymore. Really?

All right. I'm going to have to vote. And this is really tough for me. Because I really think with weight and you've got to factor in a willingness to sacrifice yourself. Yeah. It's like,

as Corey said, how do you even choose? Are we drawn strong? Like, but if we sell that aside, these are just fucking soldiers. They've been mentored and candidated. They'll fucking die

fighting this gorilla. They don't care who dies. I do think they can get on top of them and put enough weight. But then what? Do they just sit there and wait? Does he start with it? How do you fucking kill a guerrilla? How do you kill it? You can't

choke it out. You'd have to get into the socket but then you got to get somebody with long fingers because, dude, I think you could get to my brain with your fingers enough to kill me this way. be shaking his fucking head, though. You know what I mean? Like, we're gonna, we're gonna mush him.

But here's the thing. If we're mushing. Yeah, I think you just mush him. You can't. But don't, can't. With enough people, with 100 people you can't. No, he's bones thick. Hold on.

Yeah, you can. Hold on. See, you think they're super human. Oh, wait, but you're gonna stack 100 motherfuckers. Hold on. Hold on. Now. They are superhuman.

Hold on. They are superhuman. They're much more super than us, but they're not. You think they're like anime. fucking animals. The humans next to the gorilla are also going to die in the dog pile. For sure. So I, so I, so I,

and before him. Definitely. He's not, so like, Hey, if anybody out there's a guerrilla expert, please come on the show next week. Also, to Corey's side,

you can only pile so many physically. Like, it had to be like a dome. You know what I mean? It would have to be a dome. And humans don't do good at teamwork on the fly. hundred people with a gorilla at the very center bottom of it, I don't think he's coming out of there. Okay, but it's not going to be a hundred because when you first start,

that guerrillas will get thrown off. You're going to lose 10 to 20. 30. Well, but see, this goes to make to Corey's point about you thinking that he's more anime than he is. A gorilla can fuck up a person quickly. I don't think they're automatic. I don't think a gorilla's going to kill 30 people in two minutes. I think he can fuck up 30 people and kill five in two minutes.

Again, though, as I was saying, like. And salmon. Again, though, like, as I was saying, this dude was talking about, like, even at 50%, if all the gorilla in his brain thinks he's doing is grabbing a person and throwing them out of the way, it will rip their arm off. Like, because that's how strong a gorilla is. But they're not dead with a ripped off arm, son. They're climbing. But they ain't doing shit afterwards. They can lay down on a gorilla.

Yeah, they can. But I think they'd be too freaked out. They'd be bleeding out, dog. I think that assuming the humans are so dedicated and assuming, of course, that the. gorilla has this mentality of bloodlust, I think the dog pile method slowly suffocates it eventually the humans win because the gorilla lacks the stamina. But it is very close for me because just getting the gorilla down, it's going to kill it. And I think it might be able to belly crawl out, kill a few. Belly crawl out, kill a few. Then it's going to be tired. It's going to

lay under there. And then does it die or does it get rested up while it's under the pile and the miles lower. We can also, if it gets real tired, Corey, we can throw the dead bodies. That's true. That's true. That's very true. I think they can eventually push him to death. I guess my point, though, is that heat, the gorilla doesn't even have to be going at his full stamina in order to do a lot of this. Now, not thinking that a gorilla would be smart enough to reserve energy. That's fair. I get that. That's one of the things I was going to say is I don't think he's going to think to himself, oh, I better dial this down to 50%. Also, but also,

like, sure. I'm not convinced that even at 50% that it still wouldn't be a problem. Even if he did do that, just still, I don't think they got stamina. I tried to Google it,

and Google said, you know, they have mostly fast twitch fibers, better suited for short, explosive versus strength. They're not known for stamina. I just don't. How big the arena?

There's another issue. Yeah, I don't, that part's negligous. And they catch it. They get close to it. He kills three. He runs away.

And I know he'd eventually get tired. And then I guess they dog, tired real quick. If he did that, if he's running too, he's going to get real tired. Obviously, these things capture the Internet because of what I'm experiencing right now. But it's really, really hard for me to decide. I still think I'm team 100 humans, but they got to, like, have some time to plan. If you just throw them in there, I think...

Yeah, now we're talking about a different thing. And I also think he is going to scare some of them. But if we're snapping our fingers, nobody's going to cower like a bitch, everyone's going to have the best plan, and the gorilla's going to be full of bloodlust. I think it's humans by... hair. I think you dog pile, he crawls out. Because again, the people on the bottom are going to die. You dog pile again, he crawls out. I think it's definitely like, it depends on the circumstances. Like you said, like if the humans had time to prepare, that's one thing. Also, hypothetically,

let's say it was a hundred clones of Kimbo slice. You know, that's a little bit different. Or a hundred Samoans. A hundred Samoan, sure. But like, in my mind, I'm just taking like the hundred people that they call. Oh, hell, my Samoans. Come on. In my brain, I'm just picking, like, the hundred people that Steve Harvey surveys for, like, family few. Just a random, you know, amalgamation of dudes. I think that the fairest way to think about that, but I'm just me pulling out of my butt is basically like, like, they could go to war, like, able-bodied, you know, like, can, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Like, they could be a soldier. The American military, not special ops.

Not special ops. People who made it your base. And if they had a plan. sure, maybe, right, maybe. But, you know, again, I feel like we're getting out of the, uh, the beauty of the experiment. Like I'm talking about it. If it's a hundred completely random, even men. Dudes at the bar.

And that includes old. And that includes like, there's no age limit, right? Or any whatever. Like, if that's it, because who knows what that draw is going to be like, then I'm a lot more open to it. Because you can get a real shitty draw. But if it's a hundred able-bodied dudes, they're like soldier age or whatever, that are physically fit enough to even take this.

I want to, please don't, please don't think that I'm like anti-people pro-monkey. Like, I want us to win. You know what I mean? Like, I want us to beat the shit out of this gorilla. Oh, I think I feel very differently about that. Actually, that's true because the gorilla don't deserve it. But, like, I'm just saying, like, I was, when me and you were talking, I sent you all those memes and you were like, hey, man, you know, all jokes aside, I kind of think 100. And I told you, I was like, dude, me too, like 100.

Like, like, 100's. Because, again, people discount how much a hundred is. Exactly. That's the main thing. But again, then I literally just started listening to the experts like I think you should do when you're trying to form an opinion. And there were these people that were like, dog, I'm telling you, not even close. And these are monkey men. They are.

They are. But aren't we? But aren't we? Some of us are. Yeah. How are we not biased? We know more about men than monkeys. Yeah, but they've dedicated their lives to these particular creatures.

I've dedicated my lives to retards at bars that want to find monkeys. You know what I mean? Like, in this episode, Corey, and that was one of them. Yeah, all right.

Well, Drew said you got to make a plan, fill yourself up with bloodbust. I saw you make a plan, fill yourself up with some nutritious food. That's what you should do. Perfect segue. I'll tell you about this week's sponsor.

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Well read 50 off. To get 50% off and free shipping at Factor. Make it hit. All right. Okay. I got some stuff. Let me just add. I have a news week here.

high protein option rules. It does rule. Dude, it rules. And, you know, I always like to mention that if you have kids. He did.

He's my. Did I what? You're like breaking up. I'm losing you. Yeah, I don't know if you can even hear us. Oh, no,

that's unfortunate. I don't think you can hear you. Can you hear me? Oh. Yeah. I can. I think you're back, maybe.

Dude, just like this. Okay. I'm sure it'll work. I'm sure it'll work itself out in the wash, but can y'all hear me now? Yeah. Okay, so this is from Newsweek. An adult silverback gorilla weighs between three and 500 pounds and is incredibly strong.

It estimates a gorilla is between four and nine times stronger than a trained human male. they can tear down small trees and bend iron bars in captivity. Also, this is something I found interesting. I didn't know. So their bite force is around 1,300 pounds per square inch. What do you think a lion's bite is? 300? 650.

So a gorilla's got twice the bite grip, bite strength of a fucking lion. That makes sense. their arms their their arm reach is also longer than humans and they're saying that like in one swipe a gorilla could ostensibly take out three dudes like just one just three dudes one swipe right uh they can also sprint 20 to 25 miles an hour climb all this shit um now they are they did mention that it's like if it's untrained civilians most would be like very weaker and they would like the knowledge but if they're trained fighters they're ability to strategize would work like in their favor. But, you know, no, no one human is a match for a gorilla in one-on-one combat. No four people are, are a match for a grilla in four-on-one combat. We've got 96 more. Hypothetically, you've got 100 not military trained, semi-uncoordinated people. They're going to end up becoming more chaos than they are anything because a lot of times when fear strikes,

they're going to break up into groups that this gorilla can then fucking just go take out little by little. That, to me, that is supposed to be controlled for by the whole dedicated to the shit part of it. Meaning like, I fully acknowledge, if you're talking about just regular, real random people and they can be afraid and they can run away and they can do all that type of stuff, I mean, yes, I'm not, I'm no longer confident that they could take a gorilla. of that in my i'm thinking of like he said that do i be dedicated to the shit so i'm making it like a hundred again like just regular soldier type dude dudes in their 20s who are you know able-bodied and are you know down to do do this that are on board and ready and shit and that and i just don't think you said they could uh all that how fast they can run it does yeah for a few seconds they can do that and they're also tired that's true but they're they can swing and not three guys out

they swing right over here. There's six more dudes hit him in this side when he swings this way. And he's got momentum going that way. And they topple him. And now 15 of them jump on top of them. It also says that a gorilla. It also says that a gorilla could easily kill 20 men in a matter of two minutes, right? So by the way, I know that you've got your swarm theory.

But hypothetically, 20 dudes storm and this gorilla kills them within two minutes. I think the mindset of everybody is going to change a lot. I know you're down to 80, but now it's like... They're not. I think you're in the Coliseum. That's part of the thing is that... I'm trying it. Throwed in bodies on Gorilla Joe over here.

Keep throwing him at him until he gets tired. Do you know how hard it is to throw a human body? Yeah, I'm talking about drag it when he gets so tired of you. But while you're doing that, the gorilla could be swiping the fuck out of you. He's going to get tired of him. he's going to get tired. You can run, you can, what? You can evade him.

He can, whichever group he's after, they can run away from him. I know he runs 25 miles an hour for a very short amount of time. He can catch one of that group of six guys. The rest of them, while the other dudes are doing whatever they want to do, picking bodies up, stacking them, throwing them, whatever they want to do. And he's not going to catch everybody. He's, if he has to chase people down, he's going to get tired quick, real quick. Then they dog pile on him.

And, dude, he's fucked. He's fucked. I'm starting to come in a way. I just don't see no other way around it. I'm starting to be on your team. Everyone listening. I'm starting to be on your team, but something we haven't considered, and I want you to really think about this.

What if that gorilla got that dog in him? Right. You don't know what I mean? I mean, look at what the party. No. Imagine he's black. No, no. I'm just saying like, I saw a tweet the other day that was like,

and it was also on black Twitter, it was like, I love that the Punisher's superpower is he's, just got more dog in him than anybody else because it's so true like he's got nothing else other than just like he got that dog in him it's like what if you got the fucking frank tassel of guerrillas you know like man i don't know because again like you can't bite through their skin you can't tear through their shit like it's how about this i think that if you do if you do a best two out of three falls like there's a scenario where the gorilla wins in one and then the humans winning another and it's not always

it just depends on who got that dog in them. Like, Sizu? Like, if you seen the movie Sizu or Sissu or whatever, if you got a hundred of them motherfuckers, oh, that gorilla's toast. That gorilla fucking toast, boy. I think, yeah, I definitely think everybody kind of agrees with that part where it's like, it, obviously

it depends on how you define these hundred people. Like I said, if you're saying it's a truly random sample of a hundred American males or whatever, we're fucked. We're fucked. We're fucked. Like, there's no way. But, yeah, a bunch of Jack Reacher.

I'm an average American, yeah, right, exactly. You know, like, I'm assuming that they, that they at least are somewhat capable. Yeah, and I just think that of a hundred people, too, there's going to be a lot of cowards in there who take off, you know. But that is, that is supposed to be controlled for. I know that they're willing to die, but a lot of people are at first. There's plenty of people that sign up for war that are willing to do it and they end up deserting. You know what I mean? Like you're, that's, that's like one of the parameters of the thought

experiment is you have to say, assume all of these people are genuinely willing to die. I think that they would. None of them are going to run off. None of them are going to be coward. Like, because that obviously changes everything too. Of course. Right. But I feel like Corey's point to that, or maybe my point is that if I was arguing on the other side would be, okay, well, then we're not really arguing a gorilla versus 100 people.

No. We're arguing something else. Guerrilla versus 100 winter soldiers. Yeah. We are. Again, that goes both ways because you also have to make this a type of hypothetical gorillas.

No, I'm saying. For real, though, you have to make this like some sort of special gorilla or it doesn't work either because it's not in their nature. Well, it's not that... Waffling for me between being something I really want to move on from to being so wildly entertaining.

And so, like, there's a bitch-ass carillas out there, though. Something about that life. I know some grillas wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight. They're sweet. Heart is what they are, I'm saying. They're vegetarians.

I think I've made it pretty clear, you know, to everybody that, like, I'm willing to be wrong. And not only that was, like, I was, in fact, on the complete opposite team up until yesterday. So, like, I'm not, I mean, again, like, I wouldn't be surprised. It's just, like, from everything I read and, like, these silverbacks, you know what it is? I heard a lot of black people be like, mm-mm, that silverbacks going to fuck them up. And I was like, I trust black people in this. because this is a, because it's such a white, like, all the white people are being like, we'd fuck them up, and all the black people are like, that gorilla would fuck them up.

And I'm like, I trust black people at assessing danger more than I do white people, because white people suck at assessing danger. That is the best argument you made. Because we always think, like, Tray even said it yesterday, it's like, yeah, dude, a bunch of these Joe Rogan motherfuckers, you know we're being like, we don't even a hundred, me and my buddy on HGH, we could fuck this motherfucker up. But when I saw a bunch of black people being like, I was like, yeah, man, like, black people have a better radar for,

I don't know about that, than white people do. Definitely. Like, when it comes to, I don't know about that, they fucking score 99% on the fucking combine test. But I don't know about that's about survival. Trace, you know, the thought of experiment is, is you got to fight the gorilla. Yeah. Because I feel like some of that was them being like,

I don't mess around with a gorilla's, you know? Right, right. What's his name with the horse? Eric Berry. I don't fucking, no horse. Just staying away from the horse. Hey, I fucking, I don't fuck with horses either. One of them trying to kick my mama off a mountain one time.

Right. So in this scenario, though, you have no choice. Right. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I'm saying, like, but you still listen to this point in May. You might have displayed me. No, and again, though, I don't necessarily believe that because, like, again, you know, again, if we're taking this to where, like, we get to pick the 100, and it's like,

and it's like, Ed Reed. Ray Lewis. You know what I'm saying? Kimbo Slice. I'm like, I could assemble 100 people that I think could take this. But that's not what we're talking about here. Every MAGA NFL player. Every white and black MAGA NFL player.

So any NFL player, basically, besides Arian Foster. It's like the Super MAGA ones. You know what I'm talking about the Joey Bose. George Kittle, like all this. Is George Kittle like that? He's white. He was kind of like hippie-ish. Yeah, but you know how that goes both ways.

It does go both ways you're out. I mean, Aaron Rogers is hippie-ish, but I- Antonio Brown. I mean, look, I'm sorry if I just outed George Kettle for something, he's not. But I definitely just assume that if you're a young white man in the NFL, that you've, at least you don't, you might not be like, I love Trump, but you're at least like, I mean, the guy's got some good ideas. Yeah, no.

I miss the MAGEL ones because it's like they're being anger to it. Plus, you just tell them the gorilla's black. But I would really like to watch Joey Bosa beat the shit out of a. Guerrilla with Antonio Brown's body. Yeah. I mean, I think you throw Dan Campbell in there too. Like if he can be the coach of the 100 people, you know what I mean?

Like if they've got a leader. If they've got a leader who like before can be like this is what we're going to do, you know, sort of like how in Gladiator when it's like, yeah, all those dudes were badass, but the people they were going against was badass. But the reason that they won is because Maximus was a general who was telling the guys like, hey, listen,

they're going to come from this side. If I say flank, flank, duck, whatever, if you've got a genuine leader and people will listen to him, you do have a better chance. It's just that in my mind when this was posed, it's just, again, you just throw a hundred, you just throw a hundred random shadrack, Meshack and Abednegos into a fucking lines den and say, go, motherfucker. You got God on your side or nobody. Well, the only other thing I want to say about it is I definitely realized, like, see, that argument you made a minute ago obviously didn't hit for me because I'm not trying to align myself with the. those the rogan bro type dudes because you're the one that brought that up i know i know that's what i was about to say and i that's part of my point is like i've long lamented the tendency of especially white guys white bros to be like oh yeah i think i could take a bear if it was like threatening

my family or whatever like that like yeah there's always these polls i can beat a small kangaroo's ass right we've been through this in our group chat before but all these all these polls and shit will come out it's like a shocking number of adult men think they could take a bear in a fight, quote, if they really had to. And like, I always hate that. I'm always like, these people are so fucking stupid. It's not possible. I'm always on that side.

But the only thing that makes this different for me, but it's a huge, huge, I just, dude, I just think people are really, really underappreciating the number 100. I agree. 100 is just too much for me in my head. I just don't see it. And I'm on the complete opposite side of those Joe Rogan bros, like, I genuinely think I believe in my heart that the only human being that I'm confident that I could take in a fight is someone who just threatened my child no matter who that person is that's the only person I could

take anybody else I think would beat the shit out of me I'm a lover not a fighter you know I'm a little doughy whatever the only person I truly think like I could fuck up in a fight is someone who threatened my child no matter who that person is unless that person was a silverback gorilla in which case night night right night of course do you die with your kid do you walk right into the

you face God and walk in the hell in that situation like if it was protect my son knowing I'm gonna die yeah for sure I mean I mean he's probably gonna die you know what I'm saying like if he's gonna die too I'm gonna try to get him out of there yeah yeah yeah you gotta try to no yeah if I know if it seems like hope is lost.

I got to go because the worst thing that could happen was I do nothing in my son dies and I live with that. Right. Couldn't do it. Dude, I'm the rough story. Listen, I hate to sound,

I hate to sound morbid, but like, bro, something happens to my kid. I've lost the will to live. Like, that's it for me. Like,

I've pondered this a million times. Like, maybe if I had a different job, it'd be different. But like, the fact that my job is to be funny and bring joy to people. Right. You know,

yada yada. I was like, if my kid died, I was like, well, you may as well, we'll pack it up dog because like i'll never be able to do that again i'll never like there's nothing that would ever be funny i'd never i'd have to like completely shift to hopefully my

pros is good because i'm about to go real stephen king you know what i mean i can only write fucked up shit because like it's it's ballgame so yeah dude if my son was in the mouth of an alligator i'm going there knowing the alligator going to eat me too and hopefully i can just like get my son in there and kick my way out the alligator but like we dying together that's my really, really regret walking us into this. No, I did. No, you didn't. I have to follow up, though.

Trey, you have two kids. No, I don't want to do this. Oh, no. Let's don't hit. Yeah, because he's got to then shoot his other kid. That's how he had to do. I'm not trying to do. You're going to throw both the kids in.

Get in there. Save your mother. Hey, save your brother from that alligator, boy. I'm here in a minute. Yeah. Real fun way to close it out. I think Sophie's choice. Let's do it.

Let's all go through. an actual Sophie's Choice situation. But with an allegation. I know Sophie's Choice is more bad at a movie. Hey, speaking of Sophie's Choice being a movie, can I just end by saying, please everyone on Earth go see centers? It's amazing. Like, please go see it.

It's because everybody keeps talking about it makes me furious because I text the thread all the time when there's like a new original movie coming out. Because people always say, like, Hollywood's run out of ideas. And I'm like, dude, I can name you 50 movies in the past two years that I've seen that weren't based on IP that Ross and the problem is you just didn't go see him right sinners is an original movie Ryan Cougar's the man it was such a fucking it's one of those cinematic experiences that like I truly you know I understand wanting to wait till something comes up to your house so you go fucking see it in theaters in a communal experience IMAX if you

can 70 millimeter if you can it's fucking unbelievable and unless something crazy happens between now and then it's got to be the best picture because it's one of the best movies I've seen. It's the best movie I've seen since once upon a time in Hollywood, that's for sure. And in scale, it's bigger than that. So go, go fucking see that shit. It's amazing. Hell yeah, and we think they're sponsoring

the podcast. Yeah. I do think that you touched on the main that it does suck, because you're right, but they do make original movies every so often. All the time. They don't work. They don't work in meaning they don't make money. And so they don't want to do more, or they don't make enough money. This movie's making money, though, isn't it?

It is making money, but like, but also the studio is like fucking you can tell it's trying to bury it at every fucking lead like Warner Brothers will put out a presser that's like oh there's going to be a drop you know there's going to be this huge drop because Warner Brothers signed this deal with Cougar that the rights go back to him so like the more money it makes the more money he makes not necessarily the studio and they're trying to bury it so that that type of deal doesn't get made again which by the way that type of deal was made with Nolan and nobody made a stink about it but now that a black man has got this shit all of a sudden it's like he's

interrupting the studio system It's an original movie. He wrote. It's very personal to him. A lot of it's based on his uncle. It is horror, but not the type that's like jump scary. You know, it's just, it's beautiful. It's just as much about the blues and the Delta, Mississippi as it is about horror.

The scope of this thing is amazing. The acting is amazing. The soundtrack is unbelievable. I just, I can't remember the last time I had that good of a time in the theater. And again, it's original. So anybody that bitches that, like, Hollywood keeps remaking Little Mermaid and all this shit, put your money where your mouth is and go see this shit it's fucking awesome and there needs to be more and i hope and i ryan cougler by the way with the deal he made he's hit that one good

look he don't really ever have to do shit again but i hope that they hand him the keys i hope he's the next nolan because that's the scope of this film that he's making i i'd said that this movie is basically like if spike lee and jordan peel wrote the script from dustle don and martin scorsese directed it because it's that big of a movie it's a cinematic experience unlike anything i've seen. I'm not paid to say this. By the way, Tom Cruise hasn't posted anything on his social media for four years except for promotion for Mission Impossible. And he broke that trend by telling everybody, bitch, go see centers. And it's a competing studios. He wasn't paid to do that. He was just like, this is fucking awesome. You got to go see it. So did you enjoy it? I loved it. I loved

it. I loved it so much. I had me a nice orange zest martini right before, and I took a And it was the it was beautiful. Well that hits. Listen, y'all, this is my fault. We're doing this. We're wrapping this one up a little bit early because I was a little bit late and I have somewhere to be and I'm an asshole and I apologize. But come see me on the road and, uh, fuck.

I'm actually off this weekend first time in a while. But then next is Seattle and then Vegas and then on Tulsa and San Diego and a bunch of other places in the near future. Go to Trey Crowder.com and check it all out and watch Trash Daddy. Also there's a link to that on Treycrowder.com. if you ain't seen it yet. Other than that, yeah, appreciate you. Who's next?

True. Please listen to Gravy Baby. That's me and DJ and our good friend Carmen's podcast. Live you sent me some notes saying, we're so glad you're back on the pod. We missed you. Well, hey, come check me out on Gravy Baby. You can get a double dose.

And DJ, you guys remember him. You know him. Masted the Butthole fame. Carmen, you guys know her. It's a fun time. Listen to Gravy Baby. And that's it. Go to Corey Ryan Forster.com.

That's where you can get cameos for me. That's also where you can see my dates. This weekend, this Friday, two shows, St. Louis, Helium Comedy Club. Please come see me. Also on my Hero Hero, which is my bonus site, I just released the second episode of my new podcast, which is called Public Domain Sleepy Time Theater, where I read you a bedtime story in my Dulcet Southern Tone. The first book we're doing is The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and it's going great. I've never gotten more positive.

critiques for anything. People are listening to it, falling asleep, and then starting it the next day, and it's great. And no, I don't say the N-word. So, thank you all for listening to the Wellred Show. It's actually not in Tom Sawyer as much. It's not in Tom Sawyer as it is Huckleberry Finn. I can't wait

to get to Huckleberry Finn. I'll definitely say it then. Thank you all for listening to the Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you. God bless you. Welcome back, Drew. Fart.

Fart. Fart.