wellRED podcast - #102 - Your Dad Is Cooler Than You: into the aBISCUIT wellRED takeover

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

Another installment of into the aBISCUIT from our own Drew Morgan. In this episode, Drew interviews Trae about dealing with the loss of his father to pancreatic cancer... wellredcomedy.com for ticketssmokeyboysgrilling.comcarvevodka.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the in a world where everyone was forced to leave the comfort of their homes to get drinks, one hero emerged. Its name was Drizzly, the number one app for alcohol delivery.

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Go there, check out our 2019 tour dates. We are kicking that off. On February 9th in San Francisco, California, then on to San Jose, California, Lexington, Kentucky, Northampton, Massachusetts, Tampa, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Chattanooga, Tennessee, Knoxville, Tennessee, Sacramento, California, Jacksonville, Florida, Orlando, Florida. That's just a handful of dates. We're going to be, we're going to be scheduling a lot more for this year. So go to well-read comedy.com.

Hey, little buddy. Sorry to hear that jingling. That's my little buddy. He's got his collar on. I normally take it off of him when I'm recording this so that that doesn't happen, but I didn't. So fuck it. You're just going to hear a jingle. Go to well-redcomedy.com and sign up for our newsletter. That way you will know where we're going to be. Honestly, before I even do. I was just reading some of these dates off, and I literally was like, oh, shit, we're going to Orlando. Word, and I can't wait.

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This is a very special episode for the first week in a while. I'm not with the boys. I've been out in L.A. with the fellers for since, god damn, since like the beginning of December, it seems like. Drew just moved out there, as you heard in one of the last podcasts and Trey's been living out there for two months. I still have not taken the plunge. I still live in good old North Georgia down here by Chattanooga, Tennessee. And I mean, you know, I absolutely love L.A.

I love it. I've had a great month. It's been fantastic being there, you know, and not being here during the cold weather. But we bought a house, and I kind of like going back and forth. So I'm not with the guys, so they did a podcast without me. So Drew, if you remember from several episodes back, started a segment called into the abysk. This would be the second installment of Into the

Abisket. And Into the Abisket segment is a lot like Drew. It's going to be funny. It's going to be dark. You're going to want to laugh. You're going to want to cry. You're going to want to kill yourself. You're going to want to have a biscuit. You know what I'm saying. In this episode, he interviews the one, the only

Trey Crowder, about the loss of his father to pancreatic cancer when he was 26 years old. So buckle up. For that, this is Into the Abisket with Drew Morgan. Enjoy. Skew. Skiw.

Hello. Welcome to the Abisket, where we stare into the abisket. Bring your own butter. This is the well-read takeover by the End of the Abysket podcast, a podcast that only exists in the head of me, Drew Morgan. I'd like for it to exist, you know. be a real podcast. I think maybe one day it will. I think if I ever do it for real,

I would like to write in-depth intros that are very well written about the guest and the topic we're discussing. But since this isn't the official podcast and since most of you know, Trey Crowder's general bio, as well as you know your own, a solid half of that is completely unnecessary.

So by way of intro, I'll just tell you that I sit down with Trey to discuss loss, specifically the loss of his father to pancreatic cancer, when Trey was 26. As you may imagine, guys, it was hysterical. The episode is full of hijinks, pranks, and a lot of puns.

I think at one point we talked about doing a weekend at Bernie-style sketch where, like, I play his dead dad and Corey props me up. Look, I'm fucking kidding. It's a heavy episode. It is. But it isn't bleak. I think what we came away with is, honestly, a celebration of his dad's life. And really is papas, too, who Trey also lost.

in his 20s at a Walmart. He didn't know where... Okay, enough stupid jokes, true. The episode's also very much about grief and how we deal with it. Today, I was thinking about how that's a lot of what comedy is, both in terms of enjoying it and in terms of consuming it, but also for those of us who make it, it's related to dealing with grief.

It's like an attempt to beat it or manage it, so we make jokes. And I realize I'm not saying anything wildly profound or that hasn't been said before here, but if I ever do a damn thing with this podcast beyond, you know, this one well-read takeover, I think it would be about that or I would want it to focus on that, you know, just how we all do different shit to get by and how generally speaking, as long as those things aren't throwing a box of dogs off a bridge,

it's a good thing. It's good to grieve. It's good to deal with stuff. It's good to laugh. It's good to cry. And I have a feeling that's what a lot of you're about to do. Let's get into it. So, yeah, your dad's dead.

What's that like? First of all, didn't you say before that you talked to my sister about this? Yes, and I also talked to Purple, who we can get into now. One of your dad's best friends. Yeah, Jim Purple Hayes, who was like, you know, we're non-religious, but, like, he would have been my godfather, basically. if we had religion. You know what I mean?

I do know what you mean, but I didn't. And what I mean by that is I never even thought of that. Like my... Because it has the word God in it. Yeah, and also I know that I'm aware of, my only friends, like in Salina, again, that I know of, that had like a godfather, whatever was Cory Barlow, and his family is actually Catholic.

Oh. You said Catholics? Yeah, there's a tiny little Catholic church. Corey didn't go to Mass or anything at the Catholic Church in Salina, but he came from a big, like, Catholic family. My friend Brandon was Catholic, but they had to go to church, two towns over. It's weird. I actually never really thought about it, but Corey's, like, grandmother's name.

His name's Corey Barlow, you know, pretty small town old boy name, but, like... It was Italian or something? Povinelli. Yeah, Brandon. And they were Catholic. I've never at all thought about, like, because, you know, we were just... talking the other night about how in the south we don't have like oh we're irish or we're polish or whatever i never cori's not like italian like the people i've since met in new york

whatever that are italians but like i guess he is though brenum was a lavender and his family was a bunch of old boys what their religion was going to the lake by god but his mama's side uh his mom used to make us italian meatballs and buy italian bread which we thought was fancy and shit because she got it in crossbill right and uh you know we go to the woods and get hammered and she can give a sec because she knew and sober us up because think about people from the north and Italians when it comes to teenagers especially if they've moved to the south they weren't trying to talk a side of drunk driving they knew he's going to do it just trying to do the best they could yeah it's like weird because we're completely off top yeah we've digressed a lot but we're talking about drunk driving uh-huh being in the woods it and so i don't think we're too off topic so let me let me start there spook yeah what's his real name terry neil crowder terry neil crowder um wreck and peace

or you don't believe in any of that but yeah and I don't I don't want to get into that I want to get into his life okay I was thinking about this

and you describe him as a rock and roll redneck explain what you mean by that I mean my dad like a lot of other people in Clay County he grew up there and really

never much left like he left to go to shows in concerts in Nashville or Atlanta or Indianapolis or wherever but he never really left

Clay County and he grew up not in Salina like he would tell you that he was a not a Salina boy a Moss boy because he grew up in Moss Tennessee which is like the even smaller town just outside of you know

the major metropolitan area of Salina Tennessee which already doesn't have any red lights. So, I mean, it's like extremely rural. It's called Moss. Does Moss have a post office? Yeah. Is it the same zip code or a different one than Salina? I don't even know

the answer to that question. They definitely have a post office, but I'm not sure if their zip code is different than Salinas. Well, me and Brian grew up in Burville. Yeah. Moss Burr. B-U-R-R. Bill. Yeah, okay. And I call him the mayor of Burville. I don't think it's got it. I know it don't have a post office.

No, I know it has the same zip code. I grew up there. I'm an idiot. Anyway. We got them too. Right. And so anyway, I mean, he's pretty goddamn red in that regard. But the rock and roll part, that's just because he was just fucking steeped.

He always had long hair and either a mustache or a beard. Mostly a beard for most of my life. He wore skinnered shirts and denim jackets and went to rock shows and smoked dubies and all that shit all the time. That's pretty much what it boiled down to. Right. Well, I would... One thing, though, that, like, my dad was that. Smoking, dobies, flying hair, going to Skinner.

But your dad was, like, also into Bowie, you share with me. Oh, yeah, a lot. And Paige's talked about how much you liked the Beatles. He was a huge beetle maniac. That surprised me. What I used to tell people when I would describe my, like, musical education, the line I always used to use was my dad raised me on the three bees, the Beatles, the balls.

and Bowie and also Skinnerd but you know I've always been fancyed myself a word smith and I couldn't fit that into the alliterative framework of my cutesy little phrase that I had but I mean Skinner was also that ain't bad that's pretty good they call him the breeze but that's what but I'm not sure he wrote that song that might have been a cover of a Texas man okay go ahead I'm sorry either way Skinner was very much a part of it but yeah I mean the main three

as I remember it were the Beatles are number one I mean honestly buy a lot and he was super into David Bowie and Bruce Springsteen also and a lot of others too I mean he fucking loved the who but he also liked

weird like especially for Salina weird shit weirder than Bowie I mean like he fucking loved talking heads and David Byr and he loved the cars and Devo and all that. Whip it?

Yeah, all that type of shit. I mean, I just see rednecks getting into something called whip it, you know? Yeah, but more than just whip it. No, I get it. That's what I'm saying is like, I think there was a lot of rednecks with long hair smoking doobies. I feel like your dad took it a few steps further. Yeah, he also, like, beyond just that, because, like, for my early childhood growing up, he ran a video store, Crowder's video, so he's also a big movie buff.

that's how I got interested in show business in the first place was just like growing up around it in that way, growing up in a video store. But he also, in that world, he loved, like, David Lynch and foreign movies and all this, like, super, again, especially for Salina, super weird shit. That also I, as a kid, was very much like,

what the fuck is? It's not like, David Bowie and the music, I dug even as a child. I also like fucking puff daddy and, you know, candle box or whatever. But I liked the music. But a lot of the movies, though, I didn't fucking get it.

They really don't have a lot to tell to a 10-year-old. Right. I just wasn't, like, he would try to turn me on to some of that shit and most of that never really took at the time. But, I mean, I'm, you know, I mean, you know, I've been made fun of on our podcast before for liking Darren Aronofsky and that type of shit.

It seeps in, right, but yeah, it's not like at the time I was just all about it. You know, I was critical of some of it too. I was like, what the fucker? What is this. When did he still showing you that? Because, and this is exactly what I wanted to get into, it's interesting to imagine a parent showing a child David Lynch. It's cool. It's super cool.

I mean, there's no way I was more than 12 or 13 when we watched like Mulholland Drive together. I remember that movie. Because I think very quickly I'm going to look up because the reason we watched it is because it had just come out. We had a video store and it was new. The movie was new. I rented, while you look it up, I'll tell this brief story. I run a Mulholland Drive from a video store.

My mom worked in that was run by... 2001. So I was 15. But I had seen other David Lynch movies before that or tried to. Again, normally, it wasn't like they like... Normally, I just like lost interest. You know, I'd be like, I'd be like, what the fuck? And I'd go do something.

I'm going to play my Sega Genesis or whatever. Did you go, do you ever rent movies just thinking? Did you ever like do the thing where you're like, I bet there's boobies in this one? Because that's what I did with, maybe it wasn't Mohawk Drive that I did that with if it was 01. But I can specifically remember being in that video store, just trying to find a PG-13 or an R-movie that mom would let me have. Did he care about that? Did you watch R movies? I mean, it seems like you did.

Yeah, I can, the first one I can remember actually about that. don't remember how old it was, but I mean, I had to be, I bet in this, I mean, shit, my mom was in there with him. So I was like bishop's age. I was like seven, because I got divorced when I was seven. Yeah, they were in, I had went to bed and they were in the living room together watching die hard, the first die hard. Are we off? Did it fuck up? No, it's going to die if I don't get a charge, but keep going.

They were in the living room watching the first die. hard and I came to the kitchen to get a drink because I'd woken up to pee or whatever and I got a drink and I can remember like like hiding behind a kitchen cabinet to watch the movie in the living room like they would forget that I was there or whatever yeah and after you know like five minutes my dad was just like hey boy you know you can just come over here if you want to right you know whatever and I took a little cup of Kool-Aid over there and sat down and watched the rest of diehard with them and I mean yeah like I said I was like six or seven and die hard-rated movie there's no you know no titties in it or whatever but like unfortunately yeah but he was um he but at the same time he wouldn't also I mean I again could not have been more than 12ish when I watched pulp fiction the first time because he fucking loved that movie and Tarantino in general so but like barbed wire you know remember the Pam Anderson movie? Yeah, I remember.

That was the one of the ones I got. Not that type of shit. It's like if it had like quality, artistic, yeah, like genuine artistic quality or credentials to it, then I would be allowed to watch it. If it was just like, you know, teddy trash. I mean, I still watched it because we had HBO on Cinemax or whatever, but it wasn't like sanctioned. Yeah.

I wasn't allowed to, right, exactly. I'm going to pause for a second. So your dad's cool. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah, he was definitely cool. He was always cool. I mean, I don't know if you remember this, but like, you know, I mean, I know you remember meeting my dad, but like I remember the first thing you said about, well, you talked to my dad for like maximum three minutes with me also standing there. And I don't remember what he's talking about.

We're at his bar in Cookville because I mean, you're about to do stand up in a minute and he's there drinking. It had probably been a doobie beforehand, whatever. And he was just being full him. And I remember after, like I said, no more than three minutes of it, you just sort of laughed and turned to me. And you were like, dude, your dad is so much cooler than you are. Which was a shitty nice thing. Which is right in my wheel.

I also was extremely used to that sentiment. That's what my, you know, like my dad at mine and Katie's wedding was, you know, everybody's favorite person there. You know what I mean? Like all my friends were like, taking him out back to smoke a joint with him or whatever like that type of shit because he was yeah I mean because he was cool and he was funny his shit and he was just yeah he was just a good time basically but you know if people listen to this that know enough

about you and I've heard you talk about your dad before they probably know this but it's also interesting that he was all that and you and page is you know most responsible adult. Yeah, like, I mean, he was, and don't get me wrong, I mean, he, you know, he held it together in that way, but like, yeah, it's just funny because that's, like, where the bar was. Literally? For responsibility. Again, yeah, don't get me wrong, but, like, he, now that I have kids and I think back on it a lot, like, I definitely wouldn't be the person that I am without. my dad, but like, you know, it's some shit I'm trying to do different for sure.

Because it was one of those things where like, honestly, because he was cool and all this shit, but like he was more, especially when I got older, he was more like my friend or my buddy, you know what I mean? And when you say, my dad, like, the real like. When you say I got older, what do you mean? Junior high, high school. Really? Not like, yeah, not like when I was in college.

college and shit. I just being like, I wasn't going out and drinking with him or nothing like that. My dad just wasn't a disciplinarian, basically. But luckily,

I, like, I didn't really need it. Like, I fucked around some, vandalized that car. You know, I talk about that on stage, like, and that type of shit

every now and then it'd be some bullshit like that. But for the most part, I just wasn't really that type. But, yeah, he wasn't, I mean,

the real, like, patriarch of, the family, the person that, like, I feared, but in a, you know, in the way you fear an authority figure, like I loved him very much, but was my dad's dad, my grandpa. He was the one that, like, run shit, basically. You know what I mean? Like, and my dad was, yeah, super awesome and everything,

but he wasn't cracking the whip at all, you know. And I think you, there has to be some of that. What was your dad's dad's name? Johnny. Was it Pa-Law? Johnny Radford Crowder. I always call him Papaw just to avoid confusion because what I actually called him was Pa. And I know that like a lot of people, like podcast listeners and stuff, they hear me say paw.

They might think I'm talking about my dad, you know, in like Andy of Mayberry type of way. So I always refer to him as my papal. But when he was alive, I called him Paw. When did he pass? 2004, he passed away like less than a week before I was set to go to college. Where were you going to go? UT and Knoxville. And his passed and changed that, didn't it?

Yeah, but not immediately. I still attempted to, I still went up there. Like, I still went to Knoxville. But, I mean, I was in real bad shape. That was the first, like, significant, like, majorly significant loss of my life. And also, like I said, he was the guy that was kind of in charge or running shit or whatever. And, I mean, you know, and I didn't even understand this part at the time, but, like, looking back on it, like, I've never taken a vacation. Like, I've barely ever been out of Salina other than to go to Cookville my whole life.

Like, going to Knoxville was almost like fucking Manhattan to me. And, like, it was probably got 50,000 foods. I don't think it's that many. but it's like 30 or something like that, or at least at the time it was, the enrollment made. It feels like a million if you're in that tight of a space. I was,

and like, it was just very overwhelming and it was a whole lot, and it would have been anyway, but especially having had that happen. And it's weird. I always feel like, I always feel kind of guilty

when I talk about this because I know that like, that that would upset my grandpa. If he, because I'm not trying to like blame it on him dying or nothing because I actually feel like it worked out. ultimately for the better. But yeah, that's what it was.

I was just in a real bad place. And so the plan, and UT was awesome about this, by the way, because I had a bunch of academic scholarships and all this stuff. And they were like, I went and talked to the right people and they were cool with me doing this. The plan was that I was just going to go back home for the fall semester, but I wasn't going to lose any of my scholarships or anything. And I was just going to take some more time and then start in the spring. But my high school guidance counselor in Salina,

and I don't blame her a bit for this because she'd seen this a million times. She thought she was worried that I just wasn't going to go back because that's the kind of shit that happens a lot. And she, you know, I had been this great student, golden boy, whatever, and she did not want that to happen.

So she basically talked, she found out about that and called me on the phone and basically talked me into, she said she had already called people, she admissions people at Tennessee Tech and all this in Cookville, which is much closer to Salina and gotten all this okayed

and whatever and she was like you can take classes there and then go back to UT in the spring you know or whenever you're ready that's how I ended up at tech

but I genuinely liked it and just never went back and you were closer to your family including your dad and your sister and all that yeah and like is that part of it with not going back

sure yeah it also was like, I mean, I don't, and I don't know if this is still true, and also it depends on what you're studying, like, a lot of places. But another thing, like, for the record, at least at that time, Tennessee Tech was a better school than UT was. Especially in the math, like, yeah, academically. And, uh, yeah, I wasn't, I didn't mean to, like, insinuate that, like, oh, what were you thinking? It was also, like, I wasn't going into, in the brief, in the week that I was at UT taking freshman classes.

Every one of those classes is in a big lecture hall with 800 students and there's a 21 year old teaching it. You know what I mean? A TA because that's how it works at massive colleges. And I get that now, but at the time I was like, what the fuck is this shit? But at tech though, it's

not. It's actual classrooms with actual professors in it, even when you're at freshman level. There was just a lot of things I liked better about it so I just never went back. I think there's times where social ignorance can work in your favor a little bit. Coming from a small town, what you just describe as a perfect example, if you grew up in a high school, like Farragut or whatever,

and you had older siblings who became TAs, or even movies where you've seen that and your brother's like, that's what college is like or whatever. If you're the first person of your family to go to school or the second, but the first one was your mom who was doing night classes or whatever, your ignorance about, well, this is just how it works, makes you see how ridiculous it is. Right.

You show me like, wait a minute. This fucking child is going to teach me what I need to know. Because also, another part of that was I had taken like two, like I had been invited and had went and taken like a like a recruiting trip basically

but for smart kids. Well, as part of when you show up instead of like parties with prostitutes or whatever they give the athletes, it's just like, what is it like candy? Like, oh, you can have this? It's like tenured professors and stuff talking about like... It's so lame.

I agree. Stick with the booze in the process. For sure, but like, I'm saying that made that contrast. Like, it was beyond just a, I don't know, that heightened the sense of like, this is not what I thought I was signing up for. And most people on that recruiting trip probably had a sense of that because they probably had savvy parents who had been to college, et cetera, et cetera. So they didn't, it's like, they knew that they were being lied to and that that class they

toured was going to be their fourth year class right but I didn't know idea of that but the same with me with Marrival you know differences when I showed up it was small classes but like the lie I bought was like oh man you come to this liberal art school it's a great school it's basically like Harvard's like

no it's not this degree it's cost more than UT's it's worth no more in the market but that aside um you move back home who were you 19 19? 19 well no 18 I would have turned 19 the following April Do you think you dealt well with that loss?

Yeah, I've told you this before, but I don't think I've ever told it on the podcast, but this is a story that I've told people a lot because it's completely true. I'm not a mystical person or anything. I don't believe. I don't believe in ghosts or mediums or communicating with people beyond the dead or beyond the grave. Objectively, I don't believe none of that. This is still what happened. I wish we could cut to an old boy.

I don't believe in fucking mediums either. Yeah, extra large. At first, no. At first I was fucking racked by it and it fucked me up bad. You know, again, up to like me, you know, running home and everything. I mean, yeah, no, I was in bad shape initially. And then one night, and I don't know, it was probably a month or so after he had died.

I was definitely back in home already. But I had this dream because my grandpa was a big. car guy, a major car guy. That's another thing that I've like retroactively regretted was not giving a single fuck about any of that as a kid because like now I wish I knew a little bit about cars. You know what I'm saying? But back then I didn't, I could not have fucking cared less. But my grandpa like built and raised stock cars in like the, you know, 40, like the early

days like right after the bootleg and stuff. His basement was filled with all these like racing trophies and shit. He was just a major gearhead. And I've told this story before, but like one time I was in high school, I was in this old, like, suaked up Chevy truck that he had. And it occurred to me for the first time that I'd never really heard him listen to music. And I was like genuinely curious. I was like, Paul, do you ever like, what kind of music do you listen to?

Because obviously my dad music was a major part of his whole life. I was like, what kind of music do you listen to? and he just revved the engine up really loud like two or three times. It's only music you need, boy. I wonder your dad liked music so much. Yeah, right, yeah. That was his way of rebellion, which a lot of kids, I guess it is, but it was literally a rebellion there.

Right. But anyway, actually, I've meant to do this before as a follow-up. If anybody remembers that, that's from an episode of the podcast a while back. But, like, I told that story before, and when I told it, I said, Now, I don't agree with that at all. I could not possibly disagree with that sentiment more, but that's objectively a badass line or whatever. And when I said that, Corey goes,

that's so badass that if someone put that in a movie, you would call bullshit because it's like, ah, nobody really talks that way or whatever. Well, this is the follow-up. They do the kids. Right after that, I watched the movie Baby Driver, which had just come out, the Edgar Wright movie. And in that movie, Jamie Fox's character says, like, literally verbatim that exact thing to the protagonist of the movie, Baby Driver.

And I thought that was wild at the time, but I'd never said that on here. But, yeah. I love that Corey's not here, too. You're basically like, well, so anyway, I just wanted to, well, Corey's not here. I want to point out he was an idiot and wrong. No, I told him about it after it first happened. But anyway, that's how my grandpa was. he died it fucked me up real bad a month or less afterwards though one night i had a dream and in the dream

he came and picked me up outside my house in like a 57 Chevy bellair it was uh red and white you know like the classic one and i got in it we just rode around in this dream and basically he told me like the last thing on earth i would have ever wanted is for you to let yourself get all fucked up psychologically and emotionally and stuff over me not being here anymore. You know, it's like you've got bigger and better things to do

and I can't have you being set back by by this or with me. That's not what I want and you know that. I want, you know, you to carry on basically was pretty much the fundamental message of it. And again, I don't believe

in in, yeah, communicating with people beyond the grave or nothing. and I think that was just a dream that I had. But either way, I mean, it literally changed my life because it changed the way that I look at grief and loss and all of that, like, forever from that moment forward. You've carried that into other...

That wasn't just about him to you. That was about... It was at the time, but I'm saying it was just also generally just like a life lesson, basically. you know Is that how you try to approach the loss of your dad? Yeah.

How old were you when you lost your dad? 26, going on 27. I was like three months away from 27. You had both your boys at the time. Yeah, Benton was only like not even three weeks old. He had just been born. And he had, right after he was born, he got this condition called RSV,

which is a respiratory condition, that's very common in small children but from the time they're like two to five or six it's nothing it's like a cold but it's like in a newborn it like you know could have killed him

because they're like they they're fucking brand new and it affects their ability to breathe he would turn blue and shit so that was going on while my dad was dying of pancreatic cancer you know and it was fucking

yeah really shitty time. Bishop was a year and a half. I mean, neither one of them, obviously Benton, but Bishop either. I mean, they don't remember him. I talk to him about him sometimes. They've seen pictures of him and stuff. I mean, at this point, they're not going to appreciate any of the stuff that me and you've been talking about, just that that's my dad, and this is what happened to him and all that. Hey, the five-year-old, your pap'all used to show me David Lynch. Right. He's the one with the butthole. Right. Well, that's a John Waters movie.

But, yeah, he did show me that one, too. And he had, he just always had a, made a major guy, thing for irreverence, I think, which is definitely something he passed on to me, certainly. But I think a lot of that shit that he liked... Yeah. Yeah.

Poop, poop, butt, poop. Yeah, but... Spook would have loved that song. He absolutely would have. But anyway... Do you think it's important to tell them about him? Yeah, yes, I do, generally, and this pisses page off, because she thinks

I don't do enough of it. I just don't think that they're... I still... I mean, I'm sure, they're getting there now because I mean they're six and seven but I just haven't felt that they're like old enough really yet to really like grasp it all or whatever. Paige, your sister, which I mean, you know, our listeners will know about. She was how old when he passed? If I was about to be 27, she was about to be 24. My birthday's in April, hers is in May. So she was 23 going on 24.

So you and I. Oh, by the way. Side note, him and David Bowie died on the exact same day two years apart, January 10th, 2013, and then David Bowie, 2015. Wow. Yeah. You mentioned pancreatic cancer. That's one of those diseases where it's not looking good on paper when you get that diagnosis. No, it's pretty much a death sentence for the most part.

I don't even know what the survival rates are. I'm sure at some point you looked them up. Bismal, yeah, especially like beyond. If they catch it like really, really early, like almost immediately, there's like a chance. And also, you know, I mean, in medicine, shit changes. And I don't know how much of this we're going to get into, but I'm sure you want to talk about at least some.

I think also, or I know that the amount of money you have also determines how long you're going to last. That's not reflected in the statistics. none at all. But I'm so of two minds about that whole thing because, like, right after he had died, I was very much upset. Page was even more upset because it seemed like some bullshit had went on in that, because this was January 10th is when he died.

He got diagnosed, like, fully diagnosed, like, right after fucking Thanksgiving. So it's, like, not even two years. It's just through the holiday season of 2012. So you learn right after Thanksgiving and your dad's gone. January 10th. 15 days after Christmas. Yeah. 16 days after Christmas.

Yeah. And but because it's the holiday season, during that time period, they're like at hospitals and doctors and stuff. It's like they're all, they're on leave because it's Christmas times. Oh, but they'll be back. And it just like, look at reflecting on it,

it's like no one gave a fuck or did anything. And we were mad initially because we were just like, you know, it's because he was poor. And they, like I said, no one did anything. No one gave a fuck. Also, right after that, right after my dad died at my old day job, this guy who's a good dude, I worked with him a little bit, but not really. I didn't know him well, but he was like a respected guy that had been at that job for a long time, got pancreatic cancer. And like right after my dad had passed away.

And he ended up living, I mean, over a year from that time. But I didn't know the specifics of it or whatever, but I just remember finding out all these different steps. that that guy went through different treatments and things that he was like trying and stuff and just being like my dad I don't even remember hearing about any of that but and that's all true and page during that time period was very much like gung-ho like we need to fucking talk to a lawyer or something because this is bullshit and I did talk to a lawyer but he was just like he asked me what the condition the disease was whatever I told him in pretty much immediate as soon as of pancreatic cancer, he was basically just like,

I mean, very diplomatically, but he was like, yeah, there's nothing to be done there. Because I told, he died. He died. It was only a little over a year later. So what we're talking about is whether or not your father's life could have been prolonged if he had better insurance? Right.

And that's what I was telling Page. Again, even before I talked to the lawyer, I was like, yes, I'm mad about the way some of this was handled and it did seem like no one really gave a fuck at a lot of various times. But at the same time, I was there and I saw it and like there wasn't nobody could have done.

You know what I mean? Like fucking like fucking the greatest fictional TV doctor ever couldn't have done a fucking thing about that because like I mean I've never seen anything like it. Like it's fucking, yes, George Clooney from ER couldn't have done shit about it because I mean I've never seen nothing like it.

I mean it's like absolutely brutal. And yeah, there just wasn't nothing anybody could do and I truly believe that. It doesn't make me any less pissed off about some aspects of it. Did you feel that way immediately? Yeah, I felt both way. That's what I mean when I say

I was of two minds about it. There was part of me that was real pissed off about generally the way I felt it was handled. Then there was another part of me that was like, but dude, this is just like there's nothing to be done. Like this is just a death sentence. Like I said, it can't be helped. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or whatever.

There's no right answer. Well, I don't want to ask you that way, actually. So I remember you and I were friends then. I think we were as close as we are now. And I remember sort of feeling like, oh, you know, praise his dad's going to die. Like, it was his thing we had a cancer. And I remember trying to gauge without straight up asking you

if you had accepted that. and as I talked to you it seemed pretty clear that you had one thing with death it's like sometimes I think it's brave when I see people holding on in what feels like hopeless situations I'm like

fuck man that person really has faith whether it be in God or just miracles in general or the medical system and then other times I'm like maybe it's brave to call a spade

a spade and accept what's happening. Did you and your dad talk about that at all? He never, and again, you had, like, it happened so fast. Like, he deteriorated so quickly that, uh, I can understand this, but I mean, I know for a fact he never really accepted it at all. He got to a point where, like, he was not even really there mentally, he was in such bad shape, like when he's on his deathbed, that he couldn't really talk about it. But up till that point, it was always, was like, you know, we're going to do this and see what happens.

And then, like, he had hope, I guess, about it, even though, like, I mean, I knew. And I feel like most of us knew except, like, Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma'am never accepted it either, for sure, his mom. I don't judge either of those, which is a hell of the thing for me to say. I know. It's weird because we and I know each other so well. But do you think it's a tough question because it feels like a judge. judgment you're going one way or the other. But I'm just curious your thoughts on, well, let me ask it this way.

Why did you go the route of acceptance or saying, yeah, this is over? And when I ask why, did you even have a choice? I don't, I mean, I feel like you know this about me. We've talked before. I think you've gotten, like, frustrated before at my, like, pragmatism. Like, I consider myself. I don't think that I'm a pessimist. I know I'm not an optimist.

Like I think that I'm a realist or I'm pragmatic or practical in most senses. And I just knew. I mean, I didn't know it first, but as soon as I found out the diagnosis and like started looking it up and then saw how quickly again he was deteriorated, his condition was deteriorating. To me, there just wasn't, there wasn't no two ways about it. You know what I mean? It was what it was. Like I, I mean, yeah, that's all there was to it for me. I just saw the writing on the wall, basically.

I can understand how anybody wouldn't, especially the person in the position, but, yeah, I don't know. That's just how it hit me. This touches on something that I feel about belief in general, which is I don't think we have as much choice as we act like we do. In believing? Or not believing.

Okay. What I mean by that is I would argue that you couldn't have made yourself believe. Like, do you know what I mean? Like once you got the diagnosis, like the way you were wired and the information in front of you, you had no choice. Right. And there are other people, my mom is one of these people. His mom is one of those people. Where they couldn't make themselves accepted.

Right. Even if they wanted to until literally the day after. Yeah. He's passed. Yeah, my mom, ma'amal was that way. And I agree with you completely. I think that's just in the way that a person is wired. Or I don't know, maybe also the experiences they've had in their life up in the case.

until that point that had made them feel the way they do about that. But yeah, I don't really think there's a choice. Yeah, when I say wired, I don't mean at birth. Right. But at that time in your life. Yeah. So you're a young dad. Yeah.

You're living in non-school at the time. You've got a good job. You've got the beginnings of a stand-up career, because I know that, because I've met you already. Yeah. You lose your dad. And that's pretty unexpectedly. Outside of, you know, obviously, like a car wreck or something like that,

Thanksgiving the January 15th is not enough time to prepare. No. I mean, were you able to apply the dream that you had with your grandfather? I mean, I feel like I did, but I also feel like more than that, probably more than that dream or whatever, it probably also was like, I miss the thing about having kids if, you know, if you're worth a shit as a parent or whatever, is you don't have I didn't have the luxury of fucking letting myself go

completely. I mean like I was I mean I was drinking more but like at night time after the boys went to bed and stuff like I and I was going to work I don't know I wasn't waking up in gutters

or nothing crazy like that but I mean I wasn't taking care of myself either don't get me wrong but like yeah like I said I just didn't have the luxury of fucking laying in bed all day and just being you know, all tore up about it for too long

because, you know, Katie had quit her jobs to stay at home when Bishop was born and, like, it just... And they were so... That won't... No, I mean, I had the leave and stuff, but they just don't... Kids that age, babies, they don't give a shit what you're going through

because they can't. They don't, you know what I mean? Like, it's not how it worked. They still... need their diaper change or need to be fed or whatever, they don't, they have no concept of what's going on with you. So like,

it just can't, it can't matter. You got to just soldier on. I think that's a major part of it. But I also think that my general philosophy about death and all that definitely helped me with it, which is that whole, the thing, you know,

I said earlier about my grandpa and all that. I do think that helped, yeah. Has that, I don't want to say work, have you been able to adhere? to your philosophy for the most part? Yeah, I think so.

And this is a conversation, me and Paige, I've had a lot where I've told her about that dream. I've told her about, and it's wild to me because I'll be like, you know, you agree with me, right? Like, you know that our dad would not,

would not want you or any of us to be, like, so torn up over what happened to him that it negatively affects our lives, right? Like, that's the last thing he would ever want, like, for sure. And Paige is basically like, or at least she has been, you know, yeah, I understand that, but I can't help it. And, I mean, I get... Can't help what?

Grieving or just being torn up about it, you know? And, I mean, I get that, too. Who's the difference, I think, in grieving and, I guess, dwelling on something you can't change or wishing you could change something that you can't change? Yeah. A perfect example of that in my mind. and I believe this was Page's idea and I thought this was super cool

correct me if I'm wrong at his funeral everyone was to wear their favorite band's t-shirt I mean I wore Roland Stones t-shirt I actually can't remember if the if it was yeah

how restricted the band shirt something that would have hit for him right yeah yeah yeah the idea was to celebrate the way poop lived. Yeah. And then that also sort of reminds me of what you guys did with his ashes. I happened to be present for this, not, not, just, just, we were at Bonnero.

Yeah. You resided a modified Robert Burns poem? I don't remember. I'd have to look it up. I'm 99% sure. And spread his ashes amongst your friends. Yeah. at the front of the main stage at Bonaroo.

Before Paul McCartney played. That night. Right night. Immediately after that, it was actually on a different stage, but it was on the witch stage right beside that. We did that and then walked to the witch stage because Jason Isbell was just about to start playing. That's why we had done it at that moment.

Did you dad like Isbel? He did. He loved the truckers. And he knew about and liked Isbel, but didn't really have time. I mean, you know, like Isbel was just starting to become what he is now, like when my dad died. You know what I mean? Like, I knew who Isbel was from the moment he left the truckers.

And my dad did too, but he was more of a truckers fan than an Isbel fan at the time. Rock and roll redneck. Yeah. And then, you know, obviously time's passed. Do you feel, this feels like an unfair question. Of course there's a hole in your life. But what is that? You know, this guy didn't raise you entirely by himself, by himself.

But after him and your mom divorced, you know, he was kind of a single dad doing that whole thing. Yeah, definitely. What is it now? I mean, do you think about that? Do you not? Because that's dwelling on it and sort of goes against that philosophy? I don't know if this is exactly what you're asking, but in that specific regard, like, I feel like I've been, well, financially, I have 100% been completely on my own since the day I turned 18.

You know what I mean? Like I've never had anybody to bail me out or any kind of safety net. Nobody I could ask for money or anything. I've just had to do it all myself. And so I don't, I don't know, that part of it hasn't changed, I guess. Like, I mean, obviously I miss my dad and wish he was still around, but in terms of, like, yeah, he was a single dad and raised me and my sister and all that. Basically, all I'm really trying to say is I had, I very much had felt like I had grown up come into my own and had taken over my own life completely well before he ever got sick or passed or anything like that. Does that make sense?

It does. It does. I'm wondering, though... But I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd miss my dad and wish my dad was still around. But, like, I don't... It's not like this, like, guiding presence or whatever is missing, you know, because I'd already... What is missing?

Just, uh, I don't know. I mean, one thing that bones me out a lot is that he never got to see all this shit happen. He doesn't know how successful you became as a guy. comedian. Yeah. And he would have loved it. He was one of the only ones because I've talked about this a lot too. And I don't blame any of the other people because I fucking get it. But like always made really good grades and it was always like you're going to go to college. You're going to be the first

one to finish college. That was like a done deal basically for as long as I can remember. And so most people, including my pa, whoever pretty much, anyone else in my family or teachers, authority figures, whatever. of them, then I would tell them, when we'd be talking about that and how I could be a doctor or lawyer or whatever, and I would say that I wanted to be maybe a comedian or, you know, go to Hollywood or whatever. Oh, me a clown. Yeah, like, almost all of them, and again, I understand why I would be like, what, no.

You know, like, it would just such disappoint. Right, exactly. You're wasting it. Like, don't you understand, you've been dealt this. What? You've been dealt this phenomenal hand. And you can, you know, get at, you can go and do things. And then I would say that.

And it was just like, fucking, what? You know. I want to be a loser. Right, yeah. And, uh, and your dad. My dad always, again, you own the video store. But my dad always, in those types of conversations, was always just like, I think that'd be cool as hell, son. You know, your whole, you know.

Yeah, a good boy. Like, he was just always all about it. So, I mean, yeah, you know, obviously I wish he could see all this shit. And that's another, like, I just don't, I can't help it. I don't, I don't believe that he is seeing all this from somewhere. You know what I mean? That he's aware of it. I don't believe that.

I wish that I did, but I don't. Do you believe that's a part of why people do that? Yes. To sort of have that feeling. Yes. My dad knows that, you know, him saying that helped. I think your dad knew anyway. Even though the, you know, the success hadn't come.

I mean, dude, I didn't know your dad, but I remember his smile. Uh-huh. And it's funny because there's a lot of things about you and Paige that I can tell came from him or whatever. But, like, you don't smile like your dad. Right. You know, I just, buddy, that dude was having a great time at the show at Crawdatties. He had a good time most places he went. Which is, that's the quality of people that I, like, love and envy.

Yeah. You know, I mean, I literally married a show. But I think, you know, that he probably knew them. But I think I agree with you. I hate to be so cynical. No, I don't. I think I agree with you that part of that, they're looking down on you now,

is sort of like people want to continue to share with the people they can't share with. Yeah, definitely. I have a question that's very specific, and I would only be able to ask it if I knew you well, but I'm super curious. If you'd gotten all this success, which has come with some money,

what would you buy your dad or take him to or whatever now that you have the means and the ability? Whether it be, I have the money to spend or now I know people that he thinks they're cool. It'd be both. One thing I know for sure, just off the top of my head because it's coming up, sort of, but that Rolling Stones concert we're going to

at the Rose Bowl, I would totally, you know, fly my dad out and take him to that as an example. Another thing we talked about, before you ever got sick or whatever, it's just been mentioned before. But, you know, like I said, I never took a vacation as a kid.

We never took any trips. We had no money, none of that. So this was very much, I just, oh, one day we'll do this type of thing. We had talked about taking like a road trip around just the deep south, basically. You know what I mean? Driving to all the different southern cities.

Yeah, from Charleston, Savannah, Atlanta, New Orleans, wherever just and it's you know I mean we have done that now we being me you and Corey yeah but we're working I mean right but that you know that's the thing that I would definitely have made a reality you know

if it were possible yeah I mean it wasn't then is there anything that you wish you'd done before you could have managed before you know he passed but you didn't this wasn't on me it wasn't on anybody but we were going to go

see the who together and his good friend who we were going with he actually got very sick with cancer as well before my dad got sick he's still alive he beat it and everything but he got really sick and so

and we didn't go like because of that and then you know and they just never like came back through again or whatever before he got sick like he did and that you know ended that I don't know I mean there were definitely I'm sure there's other things too

but who knows I have no idea if I mean a big part of me in general is that like it's all futile there's no lessons to be learned here like you know this thing just love each other

and hope for the fucking best I'm standing up to say I have no idea where to sort of wrap this up or what I want if I end up doing this podcast I want it to be but I do want to ask did it change you? Not like, oh, there's a lesson to be learned.

That's not what I mean. But like, whether your grandfather or your dad, to be more specific, something that happened with me with my brother, which you know about, and I've talked a little bit about it changed me. It changed my personality to a certain extent. I don't know if that means I was weak before.

I don't know if it's just that's what happens. And I guess that's what I'm asking you. Did it, do you feel like it did? Or is that just a process of growing up? I mean, I know for a fact, in ways we've already talked about that my grandpa dying definitely changed me. It was like, honestly, and I never really specifically thought about it this way, but like, if I'm thinking back on it when my grandpa died is probably,

because it was right after I graduated high school, right before I went to college, I was 18 years old, he was the patriarch and wanted all that shit that I've already said. But that was the moment that, like, I went from, you know, being a child to not being a child anymore. Right. And so that's a huge change for anybody. And mine is pretty clearly delineated in that way. That's like that's when it happened for me.

That's when, you know, to put it in Martin Lawrence terms, that's when shit got real. My dad dying and the way it did obviously changed my life. Of course it did. But as far as like, I don't know, major lessons to take away from it, just that sometimes there's nothing anybody can do. And like, I know that sounds hopeless, but that's not even the way that I mean it.

It's just like the way that it is. You know what I mean? Like, there's no rhyme or reason to it. I don't think, like, it just fucking happens. And, you know, one lesson I should have taken away from it is to, like, take, not take better care of myself because I already try and fail to do that. but like I know that I should and I do make an effort.

I just fuck it up because I like, you know, cheese too much or whatever. But like, staying on top of like your health in terms of going to the doctor and getting checked out and all that type of thing. Because like that's a thing we've never really done in my family, the men in my family especially. My grandpa, not like my dad at all, he like, my grandpa's death was very avoidable. He had the sign. It was a major heart attack, but he had the sign. of it. And was just like, no, fuck it, I'll be all right, basically.

Like, my meanwhile, like, begged him. Right, exactly. We are very, my family, the men in my family are very, very much of that philosophy. And like, and it's extra trigger with prostate because it's like, not that you got to go to the doctor, you mean to tell me, I got to go let some quack stick his finger up my ass. Yeah. To tell me I got some kind of butt cancer. I guarantee. I'll buck that.

Yeah, right. Hell no. And even like, Ma Ma Ma'am was begging him to go to the doctor because he had these symptoms. And he just wouldn't do it. And then sure enough, fucking it happened.

And he died. And like my dad, it was, he went and got diagnosed, but I've always wondered how long he was feeling like something was wrong. You know? And like, I'll be all right.

I'll kick it or whatever. Before he actually did go to the doctor and get diagnosed, I guarantee you it went on for at least a little while. So that's a very easy lesson. I could have taken away, but I didn't. I ain't been to the dentist in fucking 14 years, man. When you think, dive shitty tea. I don't know.

You can eventually, I think. But the doctor, too, I don't like. You got a sleep study? I don't go. That was a big deal for me. And then they didn't find shit. And so I'm like, fuck them. They don't know nothing.

They don't know shit. I ain't going back. I'm not. You're supposed to sign of surgery. Called that off. Called it off. I didn't know. I just don't.

So, you know. Yeah. No, ain't shit changed. I ain't learned shit, Drew. We ain't never going to change. No. We ain't doing nothing wrong. Mm-mm. Well, all right. Now we are about to move into Trace's kitchen. The vocal quality is going to get a little less good.

But I think you guys can suffer through it. It's not very long. We're about to make a dish called stuff. It's a big part of the end of the abisket is that we eat food, right? Because, I mean, what's better than thinking about sad things and eating shit that's bad for you? When I say we make stuff, that's the actual. name of a dish you will learn what that is why it's called that and why it matters to tray all right we are in tray's kitchen now uh we're going to eat that's part of this and tray at i reached out to your sister page to ask her what your dad's favorite food was she basically

arrived at barbecue after telling me he liked everything and then telling me about like 19 stories but then she started talking about where one of those stories was the supper club yeah after Paula left Spook. Yeah. He didn't know how to cook. No, not at all. But he had to cook for some chivalrons, you and your sister. So he has, and I, this led me to Purple.

She told me that his friend Purple would come over and make something. And as he did it, the idea was he would teach Spook the basics of cooking. Yes. But then according to her, she's not sure that ever really would happen because they just got hammered drunk. Yes. And it was Purple Doc and Spook, which, by the way. there was kind of a rotating cast of a miscreants there was also Jeff Taylor and Carrie Scott

and some poo bear and some other folks well other than poo bear the only people who made it in the these stories on my end and doing this was people with nicknames yeah yeah well I mean and that checks out I reached out the purple and he told me about come to Jesus soup he told me about five alarm chili yeah but he also told me and I thought this was really adorable he had this thing that he just called stuff

and I just brought this up to you and said we were going to make it and you said well I don't even know how to do that and what was funny about that to me is when I reached out to Purple he told me stuff was we'll just take whatever meat Spook had and then I'd just go through his fucking cabinets and see what there was but it was a single dad who didn't have a lot of money

and it never cooked before so I can imagine not much I don't remember I just remember liking it I mean purple so you know Purple he's a big fella and he likes food and I remember all that you just said about the backstory or whatever. Yeah, my dad couldn't boil water, man, when him and my mom got divorced.

And yeah, I remember that was the deal. Purple was like coming over to teach him how to cook, and they would do it by making shit together. And yeah, they called it the gourmet supper club, you know, ironically. And them and their buddies would get over there and just, but yeah, page is also right that's how i remember it too and that mostly it seemed like what it ended up happening was they'd just get drunk and like i mean cook and it would be good but i don't know how much my dad was retaining my dad got to a point i don't know what page said about it i don't know if it's gonna upset

her or anything but like my dad got to a point where he could make a few things pretty well just like a handful of things and i feel like they're kind of like the uh the uh single dad greatest hits you know it's like spaghetti chili he could roast like chicken and taters you know or whatever like things like that simple shit I remember learning that not everyone had spaghetti once a week right it blew my fucking yeah we definitely had spaghetti yeah once a week for sure and and like tacos you know what I mean manwiches yes big one hamburger hamburger helper type shit the same-a-lott brand of man,

have some cobasso The, those like Build Your Own Pizza kit things Oh yeah

Yeah That shit School sold them too That type of thing But that's actually why I got into cooking

At all Because I got To learn Yeah I was a teenager Yeah Or tween And then teenager

And I was like I love my dad But I got to get some other shit Up in here seriously that's what it was so i was like so i'm just gonna

i'm just gonna start making it myself and then i just started like cooking disastrously but that's how that's what got me started down that road and now i'm almost 33 and i love to cook and i think i'm actually pretty okay at it but you're great now corey claims to be cori's full shit he don't cook he doesn't he's ever cooked he don't cook now i brought kilbasta and you just said you know you that's why you learned how to cook because you

were eating shitty and you had to you know it was like eat pizza every day or learn how to cook. When I thought of this, I did think it was funny that you had climbed out of, you know, basically poverty, climbed out of the rural ghetto, as it were, climbed out of this background with your mom and all that so that you didn't have to be white trash. And then I come over and been like, hey man, let's order your dad and just fucking make a bunch of dumb shit. Well, first of all, I'm still very much.

I tell people all the time, especially out here, because one, a question you get asked when you live in Southern California is, you know, what dietary restrictions you have, you know, whether you're vegan or gluten-free or dairy-free or all of the above or whatever, that comes up a lot. And so what I always tell people is I'm a human garbage disposal and I have a trash palette and I don't know shit about fuck with it. And I don't eat anything and that's all remained true. I still love white trash food.

I like, you know, I like actual good food now too. Yeah. But I still, I love the trash shit also. Well, first of all, Kilbasta just looks exactly like a dick. And that could make it any girth. Like, if it was fatter, it wouldn't look so much like a dick. That looked like a dick. It does look like a dick.

It's not inherently trash, though. Well, the reason I know, the reason I brought Kilbasta is Purple said that he would make whatever you all have. But he said the kids, I'm quoting him as best I can, the kids love kilbasta. Yeah. So anytime we have that. Every day. I would just throw it in the pan of whatever we have. and he said he put it over Angel Hair Pasta.

I didn't get Angel Hair Pasta because I figured it would take too long and be annoying. Anyway, I've got kibasa. I've got potatoes that I found earlier today, which is weird, because I had no idea we were doing this. And I fuck with a hello fresh now. This is not an ad, though, until the motherfucker starts sending me boxes for free. I ain't giving them too much air time. But me and Katie do subscribe to that.

And so because of that, I don't have a lot of raw ingredients. to the point that when I found these potatoes earlier today, because I found them in a cabinet, and I still, I have no idea where these potatoes come from, because trust me, Katie didn't fucking buy them. I guarantee you that. And I didn't buy them either. I don't know.

These dreams you're having to become a mystical guy. It wouldn't that be shitty if, like, that stuff was real, but all it was was sometimes you've got to have dreams and dead people brought you potatoes. Another thing I always remember about, the gourmet supper club or just them coming over and doing that was like the like knights that stick out were like the grill nights when they would do stuff on the grill because more than once because we lived in fucking Tennessee and this would be the summertime more than once it would come a fucking

wrath of God thunderstorm while they're doing this right but they're drunk and so like it You know like Lieutenant Band and Forrest Gump, like up on the mask, just like, come and take me, motherfucker. You know that? That attitude. That's the attitude they took to finishing their fucking burgers and pork chops or whatever. Like, they never went inside, never called it. I don't care how bad it got.

Like, I remember one time they had this little, what are those candles called that drive the bugs away? Oh, yeah, there was a brand name. A brand name that, like Band-Aid type thing. Citronella. Citronella. Actually, that's not, that might be a brand name, but that's. That's what I was thinking of, though. Citronella was a citronella candle,

and it was in a glass container, and it was sitting on the edge of the grill, and the fucking wind... And think about... This was a big heavy-duty, like a smoker, basically, like metal grill, heavy. The lid was heavy. The wind slammed the lid of the grill shut

more than once, which like that is fucking, that's hardcore wind. Right. And every time it did, it would knock the like impact force would knock the candle off of the side of the grill where my dad had it sitting. And it would break a little bit. And he would just pick it back up and relight it and put it on there to where by the end of the night, the end of the night it was basically just this like jagged saucer. with like a half-melted candle in the middle of it

that, you know, was keeping the skaters away in the middle of this thunderstorm. You didn't need it. No. No. But it wasn't going to let the by God's storm win. God damn it. No.

Hell no. I love the image of three dudes named Doc Purple and Spoof, drunk as shit on a porch, refused him to stop grilling. And if some other adult had been there, and I realized there weren't any. But if somebody had come by and me like, God damn, you know what? I love the image of them getting super to feed.

We've got to feed these goddamn kids. Like, that's what it was about. And it was. It was super sweet. But it was also about my boys coming over and getting hammered, fucking drunk and grilling some meat. Yeah. Do you have any onion? No.

That's what I'm saying. I ain't got shit. I have, I mean, I've got garlic over there. Yeah. We'll spice her up. Do you have butter or oil at least? Oh, fuck yeah. Does hell of fresh.

do that right motherfuckers i had to stop doing hello fresh because i stay in the butter the uh starch is almost always potatoes and i just can't well i i know you had told me that how long did you stick with it because like i've been fucking with hello fresh for a while now and again i ain't trying to do no fucking ad here but like in my experience it's either potatoes rice or some kind of pasta and it's pretty much just those three but like those three are pretty well well, you know, varied. Also, there's a list of like, fuck it, never mind, I'm going to quit talking

about it for real. Well, if it makes you feel you better about how we're doing a free app for them, I'll go ahead and tell everybody, I fucking hated it. Okay. Because I get what the convenience of it, me and Andy don't have kids, so that's like a big part of it. The convenience I do

get, but to me, especially with the spices, it became the same eight meals. Okay. I get that there was variation, but I just, here's what I'm saying. And I'm not at all, like, your life is different to mine. You have two kids that's very different. They've got to go to school.

You're busy, blah, blah, blah. I get why it works for that. But, like, I don't have to live my life that way. And I feel like that's what that is. It's like Walmart, where it's like, you mean, if you have to go, there's nothing better than Walmart. If you don't have to go, like, if you can afford to go somewhere else or you have the time to go to something? Okay, but what are you saying that you guys do? That you eat out more or that you cook?

and sometimes I cook and I like to go shopping. Here's what I was, okay, here's what I, here's actually the main reason. It's not really that much about the kids, honestly, because they don't, they eat kids shit. They don't eat those. Right. Like, I cook separately. I mean, every kids make shopping an annoying. I cook separately for them anyway, but with the shopping, what it was for me, I would go and I would buy a bunch of ingredients, like a bunch of different vegetables and a bunch of different vegetables and a bunch of different.

meats and stuff and invariably more than half of it would end up well the meat not so much but sometimes the meat but definitely the vegetables half of them or more would end up going bad yeah and that shit was just driving me crazy no i do get that and also like i would cook and i shop more often like we have to right often just before supper and it is annoying right see how just that's why i tried it right and then that got annoying the other thing is i tried it in New York and I liked it a little bit better there. But out here, it's not as big of a deal to get to the grocery store for me.

That's true. I just don't like... I like cooking and everything. I don't like any kind of shopping, including grocery shopping. But literally any kind of shopping does not hit for me and never has. So, like, and Katie will go grocery shopping,

but she pisses me off when she does it. Because, like, she just don't hit at it for me. She gets... She doesn't get what you want. She don't get the... things that even if I give her a list, the types of things or whatever, or the amount or whatever that she buys will be, it's not what I wanted or it's not what I would have got. And so like, I just, is that how you treated Spook back when he would shop? Or did he, did you like what

he bought back then or you just didn't fucking know what he did? I didn't know any different or any better. Also, dude, in Salina, man, there's not, you get what there is. Okay. I'm saying, no, I don't mean, like, you know, what, you know what I'm saying? I'm saying. I'm going to Amish got maters right now so we can maybe have some spaghetti. That's not what I mean. I just mean that like... Did you fuck the save a lot?

Yes, there's a save a lot and there's a family-owned grocery store and I'm just saying the selection compared to any sizable town or anything like that is very limited. That's all I mean. Right. So like...

But, yeah, I had no concept of any of that at the time. You know, I just... These were just the things that they had. There's actually one thing in particular that was hugely popular in Salina and still is. And everybody in Salina calls it shoulder. And I guess it is.

It's pork shoulder, but it's a specific type of pork shoulder. It's like a very thin sliced like pork shoulder steak basically. But when I say very thin, I'm in like an eighth of an inch thick. It's thin as hell. Okay. And it has a bone in it.

And people barbecue, the barbecue joint in Salina, that's like their number one seller is a shoulder plate. And it's fucking amazing. But anyway, even in like Cookville in college, I realized that I couldn't find that shit anywhere. Even in Cookville and dude, forget it out here. The cookville's like, what, an hour away? You couldn't find that cut of meat anywhere and you can't find it anywhere out here either.

What I've since realized is it's like, that's like, it's poor people's shit because it's really, it's very thinly sliced and it's very cheap. And the cut of meat, I guess, is also cheap. but like we all genuinely ate it all the time and loved it and had no idea that that was the case but I know now that that is the case to the point that you can't even find that in most places. What was your dad's favorite thing? Did he like that stuff, that pork soda? Oh yeah, hell yeah, yeah. I mean, I think Page is right, like grilled meat, you know, barbecue, whatever, that type of thing,

including the shoulder. That was probably his favorite. I am putting these potatoes. that Trey found. We're going to call them Phantom potatoes into the pan. And I'm going to pause this for now, so we need to actually cook and eat. And yeah, do you want to cook or do you want me to? Well, you're doing a good job. Well, there we go, guys. Thanks for going into the abyskit with me.

We are going to wrap it up in just a second. But a quick note. Not too long after I decided to record this episode, a friend of mine randomly texted me and said that unfortunately has... His father was dying. And we were chatting about it. He was there at the hospital with him. He had actually left.

He went to a bar next door and he felt guilty. And that's what he was talking to me about. He felt bad that he wasn't in the room 24-7, but he just needed a break. He wanted to go drink IPAs and eat food from a crock pot, which is what this particular bar offered. And, of course, I told him not to feel guilty. I mean, you need a break. And I was thinking about that.

that today when after we got done recording this episode, Trey told me he was in some ways grateful that his dad had gone quickly, that once he got the news of pancreatic cancer, the fact that it had been such a quick turnaround, he was sort of grateful for the fact that he didn't have to suffer and that he didn't have to watch his father suffer. And, you know, I get that. And I get why my friend needed a break

to see someone you care about, you know, going through something so painful, it hurts. You know, for Tray to see Spook lying in a hospital bed or whatever, instead of the guy smiling, talking about let's go smoke a doobie, that feels wrong in a lot of ways. And then a little while later, my friend texted me again, and he was talking about the service and how they had chosen to all just tell a favorite story about his dad. And the stories were so cool that he shared with me.

And I think that that's, again, nothing profound here, nothing new. But I think that's probably the best way to grieve over people. It's certainly the one I'm going to choose. It's to laugh about the things that they were, that were funny, and the things that they did that were funny and try to focus on that. We're going to wrap up here in just a minute. If you keep listening, you will hear us eating quite literally.

Sorry about that. Got a new mic situation. Didn't know we'd pick up our chewing so much if that bothers you. Just don't fucking listen anymore. You know, I don't need an email. We don't need a tweet. Corey doesn't give a fuck, all right? He really doesn't, and I barely do.

Yes, you can hear Trey chewing. So if you want to hear us wrap up, Keep going. And then after we discuss how good or not good the stuff is, there's a little bit of a story that's more in the well-red vein at the end about something that happened to me at a honky-tonking L.A. that I think you'll enjoy. Thanks a lot, guys.

Cool. I think next week we'll be back to our regular scheduled shit. We're going to eat stuff. We have potatoes, tray found, that came from a ghost. Cobasht I brought, simply because Purple told me that was what you kids. It's Doug. We put Bulggy barbecue sauce I found in your refrigerator that's almost expired on it. I have chosen then to top it off with a craft single.

You've opted against that. You've grown. You're not white trash anymore. Yeah, no. Because like, craft singles is my shit. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't your refrigerator. And that's not for the boys either. I don't be making grilled cheese with those or whatever.

That's me. I put that, like, any time making, like, fancy-ass cassidias or something like that, I always put crash singles on mine. But I was just, I was skeptical about, because the one thing that, like, you was wrong to be skeptical. Well, now that I've tasted it, I can see how it will hit,

but like cheese and Asian stuff, not typically a thing. That's all it was. Well, well, this is good, though. This has been a second pilot episode of an e-biscuit. I don't know if I ever do anything with it. but now we're eating on Mike

eating white trash food on Mike we're back in the well red world I want to tell a story Trey and I went out honky talking Sunday with our friend Jenny and my wife Andy

went to this bar where his name was Johnny something and the Sums very L.A., but also pretty good country cover sums and stuff we went there you left you had too much a drink

we started doing whiskey shots you wanted to go home you left after you left and I tweeted about this but I know not everyone follows me on Twitter, well read listeners, and you should at Drew Moore Comedy. So, Andy goes to get our jackets, and they're at the bottom of that hook. You remember where that hook was?

Yeah. And there's two doos in front of them. She's like, excuse me, and they kind of look at her in the very L.A. way. And they sort of part a little bit. Like, she's like, oh, I'm trying to get in here, and they kind of part. And she's like, excuse me, because they're not parted enough for her to get in there or do anything. and she just, as you know, they'll suffer that shit.

Andy don't play that. Forces her way between them, grabs our jackets, like rolls her eyes at them, you know what I mean? And they said something to each other and chuckled. Now, she grabbed the jacket,

turned, handed them to me, was walking back over to Jenny to say something to her. I hear them chuckle. I look up, I'm looking at her like, oh, fuck, you know, what's about to happen?

She turns, she goes, what did they say? I go, nothing, they just laughed. It's fine. I've got myself in between them and her now. She's like, what the fuck did you say? Did you hear what they said?

No. I'm going to. They're still super loud in there. She's like, what did you say? They either ignore or don't hear her. She's trying to tap the guy on the shoulder. I'm physically trying to prevent this at this point. I'm like, Andy stop.

She tried to flip the dude's ear. She's doing anything to get this guy and cuss him out. I'm like, dude, just to fucking let it go. It's fine. We're leaving. She's like, all right, we're fine. We calm down. Jenny, we're leaving. And he walks

out. But when she walks out, she walks through their friend group. Like, there was a lot of room to go around. She walks through their friend group. Says something to her. They definitely heard it. One of them follows her. A dude? She leaves. A dude follows her.

Where are you? I am on the other side of the bar. Like, Andy, waited for me to look away, basically, so she could go get after him, right? I see all this, but I'm like, you know, I'm just watching my wife walk out. I'm getting my stuff, I'm like, come on, Jenny.

This dude is following her, and I was like kind of peacemaker, but now I'm like, what the fuck? So I walk, and I have to go through the friend group, because they separated at this point, and they're, like, watching this guy, and he's, like, yelling something towards the door, but it's clearly performative, because she's fucking gone, right? So I walk up behind the dude, as he's following her, he stops. He turns around,

and I'm literally in his face. I'm like, fucking nose-to-nose with this guy. He's about my hide or whatever. and I think I said like What the fuck are you doing or something? You know, whatever. And he goes, in what I can only describe that I tweeted this as

the voice your not funny friend does to mock a gay man. Okay. But he wasn't doing that. That's how he actually talked. That's how he actually talked. I'll kiss you. You got to understand like I am

in fight or flight. I'm in white night mode. In my head, this guy is about to follow my wife. A woman he thinks is alone outside. To what? Yeah. Like, what the fuck is your plan here, dude? You know, I'm foaming at the mouth.

That, that, ready to fight. Just, just fucking throw some sass. That's all he was trying to do. Right, right. Let that bitch know. When he says, I'll kiss you. Yeah. I'm processing.

Very disarming. Disarming, but not entirely. Like, I'm still fucking mad. And what I realized is that fighter fly had me, in like macho man mode. I told him to kiss me. What? I said, do it.

Do it. Do it. Kiss me, motherfucker. So he did. And he kissed me on my lips. Oh, my God. Which made me laugh at my own ridiculousness. Andy's come back by now.

She sees the end of that. I was like, what the fuck is going on? This dude comes over who's with him and goes, they weren't laughing at her. They weren't laughing at her. And I'm like, what? What is happening? And he goes, they weren't, I saw what happened.

They weren't laughing at her. And I was like, why was he following her? And he was like, because she said, you know, whatever. And I'm like, whatever, whatever, it's over. Because what happened was a gay dude was rude to a redneck woman. That redneck woman was rude back. And then that gay dude was about to be even rude. Like, you know, they were about to escalate this thing and, you know, whatever, either end up finding.

Best friends or. Mato Drew Stead. and realizes my services are only not wanted here, completely pointless, unless I'm going to bash a gay dude or whatever. But I won't have that. I have to win. That's why I did that. Because there's no other thing I could think of.

I'm not saying this is what went through my mind. I have to say this. It's the only way to win. Looking back on it, I now realize that what happened was that was all I could think of to win was what kissed me then. I mean, it sounds to me like not even a, I mean, I believe you when you say that, but I first, when you said that a minute ago,

my first reaction was like, I got it from the standpoint of just, you had already made up your mind that this was about to be a certain thing, and then it wasn't that thing, but your mind is still in that same, like, gear? Yeah, well, so, I didn't even think of it as, like, a really that much of a cognizant move on your part.

It was more just like, you know, we'll fucking do it then. You know, like, that's just, that's just what you say. Right. It's like a reflex. It was the reflex of having to win. Right. It was toxic masculinity.

Right. Yeah. That's I tweeted. Yeah. That's hilarious. I was gay for toxic masculinity. That's so goddamn funny. I'm also so glad.

I'm like both glad and disappointed knowing that that I left when I did. Because like you said earlier, and that's also true that I had too much to drink. but as I told you off the mic, what mostly happened was I had eaten one of these California wig gummies we've got out here on the way to this bar, and I'm still a bit of a lightweight when it comes to that sometimes,

and it kicked in full force while we're at this country bar, and I just was very much like, I got to get the fuck out of here right now. And I didn't have to, but that's how I felt because of that, that weed gummy kicking in. Well, knowing that, if I'd have stayed there for all of that in the state of mind I was in,

like, I'd have seen Andy getting into this shit with this dude and then storming off, and then I see you walk up there and I'm sitting there high as hell just like, oh no, we're about to go to jail tonight. We're about to get into a fuck. And then I look back and you're fucking kissing the dude. They're like, what the fuck? Yeah. What the fuck is happening?

I moved the L.A. started making that with this a country boss. Yeah, well, it's like, part of me might have been like, right, okay. Yeah, I can see that. He was in seven. I give him a seven. So I'm a bad breath. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show.

We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and school. To my newborn baby boy. The day you arrived was one of the happiest days of my life. Right up there with the day I bought my RV from that guy on the internet and insured it with Progressive. What a deal.

Just no, son, I'll always be here for you. And by here, I mean in the middle of absolutely nowhere. In my RV. Protect your baby with an RV policy from Progressive. Take as little as four minutes to see what you could save at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Appiliates.