wellRED podcast - #106 - The Green Book Controversy or (Drew Got Robbed)

Episode Date: February 27, 2019

This week Drew and Trae settle in to the new studio in Burbank and patch the CHO in from his house in Georgia. They discuss The Oscars (Mainly the controversy around Best Picture Winner The Green Book), Racial Slurs, Bill Maher, memory foam beds, and Drew shares the story of how his car got stolen this past week while he was trying to play basketball. wellREDcomedy.com for ticketssmokeyboysgrilling.comCarvevodka.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

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practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to? What was that reply I give for just when I did something stupid. Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for

it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the... Hey, what's up, guys? It's Corey. Before we get going with the podcast, I just want to make a quick announcement. Some of you heard last week in the intro portion of the podcast. I made a little

announcement that what I would do was if you left a review on iTunes or Stee, or Google Play or Podbean or wherever you listen to the well-read podcast and took a screenshot of the review and sent it to me on any form of social media that I would make you a personalized video. And I was absolutely overwhelmed in a good way by how many people did so. As I'm recording this, not when it comes out, but as I'm recording this, I'm currently working on the last 15 of about 100 videos. So I got a lot of them out the first day. and then I had to take a break, do some the second day. So again, overwhelmed in a great way.

And I will do that again this week. Obviously, if you've done it before, you don't have to do it again. But if you will leave a review of our podcast on any of the sites that you listen to it, take a screenshot of it, and send it to me on Twitter at Corey R. Forrester on my Facebook fan page, Corey Ryan Forster, or my Instagram, Corey Forster. Just send me a message with the screenshot, and I will get you a personalized video. I would also like to say there was some. someone on Instagram who sent me a message.

It was, I think today, it was Monday, whatever Monday is two days before this podcast is coming out now, February the 24th or something like that. Somebody sent me a message on Instagram and it was about a request for a video and as I went to accept, because it went in my other box, as I went to accept it, I accidentally hit decline and I can't, I obviously can't get it back. So there's somebody out there, you know who you are, you were supposed to get a video and I accidentally declined it. So if that was you, send me a message back on Instagram.

Or if there was somebody out there that I didn't get to, that just means I accidentally overlooked one because my inbox was full. But I'm pretty sure I checked everything off. But if not, just send me a message. I didn't ignore you on purpose. Anyways, enjoy the podcast. Cue. Love you. Bye.

Cho. What's going on, everybody? It's your boy, the Cho. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellredcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. Spelled just like the podcast. That's where you can grab tickets to shows, grab some sweet merch like our book,

The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark, and sign up for our newsletter so you'll know where we're going to be even before I do. This portion of the podcast, as always, is brought to you by smokyboysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all you meats. Also, carvevodka.com. Do you want to get drunk like you boy the show? I know you do. go to carvevodka.com and see what Jacksonville loves about their first and only craft vodka

distillery. Carve your path today, bitches. Speaking of tour dates, I'm going to turn it over to Future Cho. Future Cho, where are you and the boys going to be? Oh, hello, Paschow, I'm glad you asked. This weekend, March 1st, we're going to be in Tampa, Florida, March 2nd, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, March 6, Los Angeles at Largo, Trey Crowder and Friends. March 8th, My Old Stomping Grounds, Chattanooga, Tennessee, March 9th and 10th, Knoxville, Tennessee, Trey and Drew's old stomping grounds.

March 29th and 30th, Sacramento, California, April 18th, 19th, we're going to be in Portland, Oregon, and you know your boy is bringing an empty suitcase so I can go to the Nike Employee Store. Ski-U! May 3rd and 4th, Salt Lake City, Utah. May 17th and 8. 18th, Jacksonville, Florida, May 19th, Orlando, Florida, May 30th through June 1st. We are in New York, New York, at Carolines in Times Square. Get your tickets at well-readcom, as pastcho said, W-E-L-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com,

spelled just like the podcast. And speaking of the podcast, enjoy this one. Scoot! Well, well. All right, well. All right, well, here we are. This is actually a different. here we are than we've ever here we are before it's a different here here you and i are it's a

different we it's a different everything there corey is uh-huh corey is in uh-huh corey is in uh chikamaga and you and i are in burbank but we're not in my guest house as per usual we're in a studio here in burbank um that we are currently using and because we're working out of nothing nothing's going to change from y'all's end listeners uh but we're working out a new podcast situation that we won't, I don't think we need to bore you with the details of or anything, but we have access to a studio and all that and it hits. It might sound better.

I hope to God it sounds better. I mean, you know, show, no, I mean, you do a great job with the audio. I'll say, it sounds pretty good. It's not show. I mean, we're in a room with egg crates on the wall. Oh, dude, undoubtedly it's going to sound better. Did you have those when you were younger, Trey, like on your bed? I have what?

These things, these egg crates shaped pads on the wall. And did you think that was like the height of luxury? I loved them. I did too. Is that not what, were there memory phones that were this shape or no? I mean, I know memory foam was like, right. When the memory foam first came out, it was shaped like these egg crate things. Because I think it's because that's what people were used to buying.

And most of the memory phones were toppers. Yes. I remember thinking that like it was fancy as fuck that I had a thick ass egg crate. And I mean, in retrospect, it is one of the most basic. forms of like, I live in, but why trash style? On that note, and I think we've talked about it on here before, but like, dude, for most of my childhood, I had a waterbed. Hell yeah, you did. I think it was like my parents or something when I was real little, they got divorced, and then it became my waterbed.

And I slept on a water bed. I mean, I actually think when I graduated high school, I still had that water bed. And then it's no longer there and hasn't been for years. But, I mean, I was on it by as long as I could remember. I think you something. Yeah. How often did your mom forget to pay the water bill and y'all had to drain the water bed into a pot so you could bowl water? Well, that would suppose that like I at all lived with my mom.

Oh, right. Or she paid any of the bills at the house that I actually grew up in because, you know, that was just my dad. My mom was, you know, in somebody else's trailer or jail sale or whatever at that time. I don't know. She was in somebody else's jail sale? Well, I mean, it became hers when she got in it, you know, I'm sure. Because she's a, you know, she's a boss bitch as far as all that goes. Yeah, like red on oranges the new black.

Yeah. Well, I don't know about all that. And also, this is to hear her tell it, but like seeing her interact with people outside of prison, but I mean other people who are, you know, prison types. He's normally the, you know, the one in charge. They're calling the shots, people, you know. But anyway, that's never here nor there. Yeah, you had a water bed.

Well, Mom and Dad had a waterbed, and they still have that frame. They just put a mattress down in it. That's exactly what my old waterbed frame is still in the room I grew up in. It just has a mattress in it now and has for years. Is there about five inches of space on the end, like lengthwise? A little bit more than five inches. Uh-huh. We, Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Maw folds up blankets and puts them in there.

Oh, you mean where there's a gap? Yeah. Yeah. That's where the kids hide during Thanksgiving. Yeah. Well, I was hiding there once. There you go. Mom and Dad got rid of it, but I was hiding there once.

I was probably eight, and I found Mom's vibrator. Yeah, you've. I have talked about this. I know you've told us about it. I don't think on the podcast, though. So, well, I mean, you know, unfortunately, I've buried the, that's the whole story. I mean, I asked her about it. She said it was a back massager.

And I distinctly remember using it as a back massager after that. without her knowing it because she didn't like change hiding places because you know why the fuck would she fuck me right yes so you used your mom's but you say vibrator was it like it actually vibrated it was a you know a dilter yeah so but it was shaped it wasn't like these new rabbits it wasn't a pocket vibrator you know what I mean what's that super popular I'm getting so uncomfortable I bet and I'm sorry but just one more sweating Hitachi magic wand was it one of those no it was smaller than that okay but you know what I'm talking about yeah yeah see you all that's like 2000 shit.

This was definitely in the 90s. This was a 90s vibrator situation. Gas powered. They got a 19-98 model dick. That keeps a speed butt song. This bike massager stinks. Oh, well, we were going to talk about something. Before we started recording, we were going to, oh, you were to ask him, why don't movies and TV smell?

I know why they don't, but why they haven't tried to develop that at all? I this might just be some bullshit from but I don't think so I'm pretty sure that was very briefly like a thing a long time ago like in the 70s or 80s it was like smell of vision it was like a hot new like gimmick thing but it sounds like Corey's nickname as a wrestler but it obviously you know didn't pan out but I think they actually porn would be very different and Corey was saying yeah point in theme park rides or whatever that are no it my hit dude some some some um some um some um of the performers would get famous for smelling the best. What would hit for you? You a savage. Me. You're the one who always talks about wanting to smell people's butts. So Smelo Vision,

smello vision was a system that released odor during the projection of a film so the viewer could smell what was happening in the movie. It was created and made, oh, okay. It was created and made its only appearance in the 1960 film, The Scent of Mystery. In the 60s, it made its only appearance?

19, according to this, 1960. They haven't developed it. I am almost certain that, what would we call that? O-Factory technology. At least have been better by now. People don't want it. No, they don't. Because, I mean, like, war movies and stuff, you know, you're smelling like blood and

gumpowder and dead poop. People poop themselves. Don't do that. You don't show poop. You don't have to, I mean. You don't show it. You ever seen shit on a regular movie? Like actual shit?

shit. It's hinted at. Right. There's plenty of shit scenes and comedies like dumb and number or whatever. Can you imagine the fucking nutty professor scene? Well, no, but you would use it when you needed it. Like, farts are funny because you hear them and that's what's funny. Smelling them ain't funny.

So I would not use it as a director. But a gunpowder? Hell yeah. Gunpowder would be, yeah, that'd be sweet. Imagine the Patriot, some of the fucking post-battle scenes with the music playing. You just smell gunpowder and not death, but like a hint of it. Yeah, like Fern Gully. Fern Gully would hit, like all them tropical smells and shit.

Yeah, Matt, still magnolias, dude. Yeah, but like Fern Gully, okay, if you were smelling all the, yeah, all the fruits in the jungle and the rain and all that, the main villain of Fern Gully is a sentient poison cloud. Right. You know. Nexus. Like, I feel like if he shows up and you can't smell him, that's like, that'll be weird after having. smelled everything else because like so let's smell him you know what I mean but he would smell like noxious and terrible or you could give him like a sweet but spicy smell you know yeah like you're

I used to work at a cologne stand because of course I did and I hated all of it but it was like what an evil person would wear okay you know spicy yeah I mean I mean you're right just like any other tools at their disposal just be how you used it. Yeah, you don't have to be able to smell all that terrible shit. But you know a lot of directors would be doing stuff like that

because you know, pushing the limits. Imagine a John Waters movie. Right, exactly. So much stink. All to stink. Speaking of movies, you got,

y'all know about Green Book. Green Book won best picture. I know a little bit about it. Oh, I didn't even know. that. I didn't watch shit last night. The internet is furious. Furious. Yeah, I guarantee you.

You have a favorite? My favorite. Of the movies? I know of the internet being furious. You mean about Green Book specifically or just, okay, no. Mine is, uh, Green Book friends are black movies. So, I mean, it's a, just one best picture. It's a pretty, you know, high profile movies.

So I assume people know, but very briefly, it's a true story about a, famous pianist, a black man pianist from the 50s and 60s who hires this big mook, Gumbagh guy, is a tough guy to be his bodyguard and driver as he tours the American South for the first time. And it's a true story, real people, all that. And correct me if I'm wrong though, Vigo's the star and Marshala is, like, it's about Vigo's character? Well, it was written by, it's based on a book that was written, I think, by the son of the man Vigo played.

And also, based on the stuff that I read, that guy that, what's his name, doctor or something? I mean, he was famous back in the day. I had to find it real quick. But that he gave Vigo's the real life dude. He gave his son permission to tell the story and put the book out and publish it and all that, but only after he died. And he died like, I don't know, five or six years ago. And so they published the book.

And yeah, it's kind of from Vigo's character's perspective. But, I mean, I feel like that makes sense, given the source of it. If I'm wrong, the guy's gay and closeted. Right. And I feel like that's probably like one of the main reasons that he had the only after I die stipulation to it or whatever. Because he was still in the closet before he died. As far as I'm aware.

Supposedly his family is furious. I know. Okay, so that's getting a little bit ahead of ourselves because I was going to say, even before this, part of the reason the internet is furious about it winning, other than on top of them just being like, it's nowhere near the best movie out of the, you know, selections they had. There's been controversy around this movie for a while. A lot of shit has been swirling around it, and that's one of them, and we'll talk about each of them. But I heard, well, actually, let's talk about the things first, the controversies. So, yeah, one of them you just alluded to the Marshal Ali's character, that real life dude who died, his family has complained a lot about the way he's portrayed in the movie and everything.

But, like, to me, and I knew the backstory of the movie and everything before I saw it. Like, the man himself, like, signed off on the book. The book before it ever. Is the book like the movie? I mean, that's my understanding. the, because the dude that wrote the book and the guy, you know, that Vigo's son is, was heavily involved with the movie and all this. Wait, hold on. Signed off on the literal book or signed off on the dude writing the book and then he wrote it after the guy died?

No, I'm pretty sure. As I understood it, I could be wrong. But the way I understood it and the way I remember it, he had, had his permission to write it, wrote it, had the guy's blessing to publish it, but only when he died. And when he died, the book came out. Okay. So, like. You know, and then the other thing, there was another thing where Peter Farreley, the director, who like, before all this came out, whatever else, when I just heard about Green Book, I was really pumped because it hits for me really hard when any kind of like comedy writer or director type person makes a for a four-a into this like, you know, high-level prestige drama Oscar bait type shit like Adam McKay when he won an Oscar for the big short or whatever. Like I love that. And Peter Farley. Didn't he lose this time?

Adam McKay, yes, for vice, yeah. Oh, yeah. Peter Farley and his brother Bobby did, you know, dumb and dumber, one of the greatest comedy's ever made. There's something about Mary, another one of them, and, you know, me, myself, and Irene and a bunch of other great shit, and wrote Peter Farley wrote the book for Outside Providence, which you adore.

And it's great, it's great, but. Shut up, you little hot on. So I've been a fan for a while, and when I saw he was making a movie like this, I was like, oh, fucking right. Turns out one of the other, like, scandals, he, you know, he got me-toed in the midst of all this. He showed Cameron Diaz's dick. Right. Oh, I don't even know that.

As a, as a quote-unquote joke? Yes, on the set of it. And, you know. But we're talking, and I'm not, this isn't me defending it, but we're talking, like, in front of people, ha, ha, this is a joke, which is shitty, but not trapped in the corner. You want to suck it? It wasn't one of those, right? No, on the set of a raunchy 90s comedy, you know, and yes, and from, oh, you know, pulling, pull my dick out. And I am pretty sure that Cameron Diaz has, like, said before that it was like, basically said what you just said.

It was like, yeah, look, I know it's shitty or whatever, but it was fine. Well, I was trying to make sure that he wasn't accused of rapy shit. No, no. He was accused of, what, you got, salty shit? Making a shit. Right, yeah, like going too far. Yeah, that happened with Chris Pratt on Parks and Rec, too. Yeah, he did the exact same thing.

And I mean, yeah, it was shitty, but he apologized, and it was a very different thing. Right. All right. Well, I don't know. That's number two. I don't know. There's more. Magical Negro.

Well, okay, so then there's the criticisms of just the movie in general, which are not, like, behind the scenes, controversies or whatever, but a lot of people are like, they say a lot of things about it, but among them are, it's like a white savior type film with a magical negro in it. Yeah, and it's like a story's been told a million times, and it's like, oh, this guy's

a racist, but he learns a lesson and he's not all bad. Racist with a heart of gold and whatever. The Italian guy? Yeah. I feel like that's, if Italians had a brand, it would be racist with a heart of gold. And just that type of thing, but like, I've seen

the movie, and I actually wasn't aware of all the content. I don't know if y'all remember. I texted y'all about it. I was texting y'all. Me and Katie were watching it and I was something about how hard it was hitting for me and how much Vigo in particular was crushing it. And he fucking does unbelievably.

I can't believe it. Can't believe it. Right. And I was texting all that and Corey said, well, I know the internet liberals sure do hate the shit out of it. So I'd imagine there's at least some good shit. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then I looked all this up and found it all that.

Okay. I thought it was black people's Twitter that was blaming it. I mean, it was both, I believe. But anyway. As per usual, the white people are offended the loudest. But like, I didn't, I don't know. There's one more. I didn't think it was, what's the, do you know it?

Are you saying you're- There's one more controversy. Right. While doing the press for it. Yes. Vigo said the N-word. Right. Now, I think he said it like, you know, I don't know.

know, academically. I'm not sure what the, I know what you made, but that's so funny to hear. Exactly what. I'm just trying to make sure people understand the exact story. I think it was something along the lines of like, you know,

back in the 50s, if you're driving through, this kind of guy would definitely have said, and then he said it or whatever. For sure. And then that was a controversy. You're right. I remember that.

Yes. My second favorite tweet or whatever about this with the internet hate in the movie was someone took pictures of all of the headlines about all the things you just said you know, that guy's family hates it. Vigo says the N-word, fairly showed Cameron Diaz's penis.

There was one more. What was it? Oh, basically it's just driving Ms. Daisy, too. Yes, right. And then the dude wrote, there needs to be a movie about the PR team for this movie, and that will win a fucking Oscar. Okay. Because I didn't hear about any of this until literally last night.

Okay, all right. So on that note, because this is what I almost said at the beginning, but I want to talk about all the other shit first to set it all. all up. I heard a saucy Hollywood rumor recently that uh, that

you're coming to sauce. That was all, all of that was not that any of that isn't true, but that that whole like firestorm of bad PR that the movie was getting all that came from the PR company for

Bradley Cooper's people or a star, a star born as like a you know, because they're direct competitors or whatever in award season. So it was like a coordinated campaign aimed at Green Book. I have no idea if that's true. Dude, it wouldn't surprise me. And it's like when that, you know, this reminds me of is when Nike did that Kaepernick commercial.

Right. And everyone, a lot of like cynical comic types were accurately saying, Nike didn't give a fuck about black people or Colin Kaepernick. But my take was sort of like, okay, but when a business recognizes that it's in their best interests to be on one team versus the other, that does mean society's changing for the better, in my opinion. Absolutely. And they could have just done nothing. Right. It's a symptom.

Now, this, it's not shocking to me that Hollywood is going, hey, being woke is going to make us money. That's a little disgusting. But Hollywood's always going to do what makes some money. Absolutely. Right. I mean, that was probably, I mean, when they made Philadelphia, that was a fucking, you know, afterthought or a thought at least. I mean, it's a great movie, but you know there's one person like, oh, yeah, the AIDS epidemic is huge right now. Let's do this.

Exactly. And also, like, the whole thing about female stars not getting paid as much as male stars, they do that because they can't. And when they can't, they'll stop. Right. That's all that is. Because it's like they hate women. I mean, Harvey Weinstein definitely hated women, but Hollywood just likes money. Right.

Right. But anyway, all that aside, like, I just, have either one of y'all seen the movie? No. No, I haven't. I didn't even, I don't know anybody who won any Oscar last night except for what you just told me. I've somehow missed all this. So, I, again, I kind of alluded to this earlier. I saw the movie without knowing any of this shit.

And, like, I don't think it should have won best picture. I don't think it was like the best movie of the year. But, I mean, I thought it was a really good movie. Did you see Roma? No, not yet. Did you see Black Klansman? Yes. Like Klanzman's a better movie than Green Book.

But like... Everyone I saw said that those two were better. I didn't see anyone claiming Starsborn was a better movie. Right. Not a single... I mean, I'm saying there aren't people that definitely believe that, but no one said that. I like, you know, unpopular opinion, I'm sure, but I mean, I liked a Green Book better than a Star is born personally. No, I don't think that is an unpopular opinion.

I don't, I didn't see anybody arguing that. That's not, like, the people who are mad aren't saying that. Even people who aren't even mad, like, for the political reasons. who just didn't think it was good. They're mostly black Klansman fans or Roma fans. Right. And then, of course, the Black Klansman, you know, you probably know, Spike Lee lost the driving at Miss Daisy.

Yeah. And so I heard he got, he was apparently real pissed off last night. Jordan Pell had to, like, calm him down or something. I saw some, you know, shit on the internet about that. I don't know how true that is either. But, I mean, yeah, I don't blame him. You think about those two movies, like, because I'm pretty sure that's only two times he's been up for it.

It was do the right thing. And then Black Klansman and both times he, he, loss to kind of the same type of movie. But safer version. A safer version of, yeah, of like, racism is bad. But, you know, like the easiest way of doing that. And Green Book is that. But, like, again, I mean, I really like, they both.

Ali and Mortensen fucking crush it. I just thought it was, I thought it was a fucking good movie. All those, like, criticism are valid. But, like, it's still, I don't know. I liked it. I think it was good. I don't think it is their best picture, but, I mean, it's a good movie. I think it's getting a lot more shift than it deserves.

We'll probably get into, we're probably about to get into, like, what is a movie supposed to do? And I'm not sure it's supposed to do anything other than be good. But it's like I saw someone flaming this guy. He was like a radio host who was talking about how great the movie was. They showed a clip of him. And he was such an out-of-touch white guy. Right. And it was very funny.

And they were like, see, this dude, this is the kind of thing where this guy thinks, like, his own problems, his own racism, his own whatever prejudices are okay. or that the world's fine, even though it's not. Maybe, or maybe if this is a guy who considered voting for Donald Trump or doesn't think Donald Trump's racist or whatever the case may be, this is a movie who, like, is getting him there. Here's a guy who would never watch a Spike Lee movie. Maybe he'll watch this movie. Right.

And maybe I'm wrong. And like, that's super easy for a fucking white guy to say. But it's a separate question. Like, okay, fine, that movie should exist. it's a separate question should we hold Oscars to certain fucking standards like should they push the envelope

a little bit? I don't know. Well, I got to say something here. I've only, this is actually the least amount of best picture nominees I've seen. I'm looking at the nominees now and I realize fuck I've only seen,

I saw Stars Born, Vice, Black Panther and I didn't see Bohemian Rhapsody but I've heard both of y'all talk about it. And I kind of like, there's obviously still a stigma with fucking animated shit because if Bohemian Rhapsody is what y'all said it was,

then I don't see how fucking into the Spiderverse ain't on here. Have they ever? It did win the animated. It went best animated feature. But my thing is like, I told y'all when I came out of that movie, that's the fucking best movie I've ever seen. Even like Disney back in the day, like when it was brand new, like Fantasia or Snow White or whatever,

because I know in my memory they've never nominated it. Oh, nominated it. I thought your question was going to be one. I'm just, yeah, I'm not saying it. I mean, a lot of that is about the Oscars, and you guys can correct if I'm wrong, but I think Toy Story 3 might have been. It should be. I feel like part of their job is to, you know, protect, quote-unquote, real movies. I get that, but Black Panthers on here, which, by the way, I deserved it, but like, I guess we're at least.

On that note, if you're talking about, okay, the plot's easy, but it's well done, I mean, well, let me just ask you, was it. it better than Black Panther? Green Book? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of different types of movies. And you know what I mean? Like to me, I mean, I know they're up for the same award, but like, they're very fucking different.

I mean, Black Panther was so insanely rad while also being, you know, right, like impactful and everything. And they pulled all that off. And it was very well executed. The plot was pretty good. Except the CGI was not that great, frankly, by the standard of Marvel movies. But, like, the plot was pretty good. Yeah.

For Marvel movies, too. But, I mean, I love Black Panther. And I certainly had more fun watching Black Panther. Sure, it's a different. And, I mean, it was a great movie, but, like, you know, dude, and I really, I enjoyed Vice. I didn't like it as much as I like the big short. But, I mean, dude, into the Spider-Verse is a better goddamn movie. And I'm not, I swear that's not just me being a huge Spider-Man Marvel nerd.

Like, it just was. It just was a better movie. I agree with you, man. I mean, I think, I mean, into the Spider-Verse might be my personal favorite movie from last year. It's if I had to big for it. I'm not kidding. It's my favorite movie of all time. Well, there you go.

It is. It's the best movie I've ever fucking seen in my life. Well, I can't remember we did it on the podcast. I mean, I watched Bohemian Rhapsody on the plane. It was a great fucking plane movie. I can't believe it was nominated, though. It was only rad. That's what I'm saying.

Like, after hearing, we talked about last week. We did do it. Yeah, after hearing y'all talk about it, like, you know, Remy, did he win? Did Remy win? He did. Okay. So, like, that's undeniable. Like, fuck the movie, it doesn't matter.

His performance is undeniable. Like, from what I hear about this movie, it's like, there's no goddamn way this movie should be nominated and fucking into the Spider-Verse not. And it pisses me off. Well, you know, it's like, they all have to do, like, campaigns. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you're right. Studios or production companies or whatever that have these.

movies, they have to, like, launch an Oscar camp. They got to pick which one of their movies. Like, okay, we're really putting our muscle behind this one. And they knew Spider-Verus was going to get animated. And, like, so, I mean, I'm, but I'm just saying, like, that also, in a perfect world, that's not at all how it would work. You know what I mean? Like, that wouldn't have nothing to do with it.

It would just be the best films, but, like, that ain't how it's maybe ever worked. It's so crazy, too, that that's just, like, it's not even a secret. Like, everybody fucking knows that. You know what I mean? It'd be like that was just kind of a hush, hush thing. And it was probably back in the day an open secret. But now it's just like, hell, they talk about that shit. And that's just-

My understanding with Harvey Weinstein himself is the one who kind of changed all of that in the way you just said, show and just made it like overt and not, you know, even trying to be surreptitious about it, the year that Shakespeare in love beat saving private Ryan. That's horse shit, man. Other shit for Best Picture. It was because of Harvey,

Weinstein and his like strong arm fucking relentless, uh, campaigning behind the scenes for it. And yeah, that's like a known thing now. Yeah. And it happened kind of, are you saying he forced love upon us?

And here's the thing, dude, I get like you can camp, like if two movies are close and you've schmose the right people, whatever, but like, you know,

having seen seven private Ryan and Shakespeare and love. And by the way, I like Shakespeare in love. I really did. But I liked it. But God, damn, dude. I don't remember anything about it.

and I remember a lot about saving private Ryan. Right. Well, saving private Ryan is a fucking iconic movie. Like, it's like a flashbulb type movie. Yeah, it changed.

Huh? Is that something you can know the year it's made? Maybe you can. I mean, dude, that movie just felt huge when it was made. Right. And,

because you had a huge ballast, but they were all fucking great. Well, another thing I saw in terms of takes, from the night that I agree with. And I think it's kind of what you guys are talking about, that the Oscars whole thing is making up for past mistakes while making new mistakes. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

They're the my uncle of award shows. Right, like, given Leonardo DiCaprio an award when he should have gotten one, even though that year maybe he shouldn't have, but then that same year, that was the Oscars so white year. So then the next year, they, you know, every movie that isn't starring white people, gets a bunch of awards. Cool,

Moonlight deserved it, but they probably made a mistake that I'm not aware of that year. What year was that two years ago? Yes. Yes. 2017. But, yeah, Green Book,

I just, I don't know. Again, I don't think it deserved to win best picture, but, like, it's become, like, just straight up hated, you know,

on the internet. Like, not about everybody, of course, but you know what I mean? Like, generally speaking, the internet hates it. And, like, I just,

I don't think that's fair. Well, I think we're at a point in internet culture, though, where we know that what happens is people hate that it won. And then that cools off. Do you know what I mean? I mean, dude, I can't believe I'm bringing this back up. But I think that's like that Aziz and Zari thing to me where it's like there's this big like, what the fuck? You built your whole career on X and, you know, on feminism and now you're doing this growth stuff. And then they're like, then like a year later, everyone's like, yeah, he's a dick, but he's clearly not a rapist.

Okay. Like I think that that's where the internet will end up on Green Book. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure, except I do think, I don't know if you're aware of this, but like one thing that gets brought up a lot when talking, I've seen it a million times since Green Book won. They're like this was, Green Book was this year's crash because in like 2005 or something, this movie Crash won. It was garbage. Yeah, not a good movie, but it wasn't good. It was super pandering just racism is evil. type shit.

And of course it is, but like, it wasn't a good movie. It was just shoving it in your face and it won like just to be like, dude, just so. That movie was a piece of shit. But I think that it has lasted as a,

the example, as the example because it's so bad. Right. And yeah, Green Book's not a bad movie. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

There's the deal though with when, when fucking crash won. Number one, and I'm not like, it's not like, oh, it was a fine. That movie lit,

I fucking hated that movie. It sucked. And it went, up against Brokeback Mountain. So if we're going to go with the whole, oh, they won because they were saying, Brokeback Mountain was a fucking landmark movie in gay culture. So, I mean, so, fuck that. I guess, man.

You have to go through the period of where we're ready to acknowledge those movies and that plight, but we're not going to give them the award because everyone will say that's the only reason we did it. Right. And then you get to the point where you do give them the award. And then if it's crazy. crash, unfortunately, then people do say that's why. So before we move on... In Moonlight, by the way, was then make...

It was a great movie, but that was partially making up for Brokeback Mountain. Crash was literally the fucking worst nomination for Best Picture that goddamn year. It was Capote, Brokeback Mountain, good night and good luck. I didn't see Munich, but I'm sure it hit. You never seen Munich? No, I actually have it. I know, I know. Fuck, box.

I know. It's on my list of like, I can't believe. I haven't seen it, but I've seen all the other ones, and they're fucking leaps and bounds better than crash. And so... You guys like... Yeah, I did. I went to watch it at the movie. My dog, man.

And I didn't not like it, but like, it ended. And I was like, huh. What movie? What does it happen? Traffic? Yeah, but I saw it back in the day. And, I mean, yeah, traffic was stylistically similar to crash, but it was infinitely. Oh, it was definitely better.

It was the same type of thing. But I didn't even love it. Anyway. Anyway, so I was going to, before we move on from the subject altogether, I was the Vigo controversy specifically, him saying the N-word at a panel while discussing, he was discussing, you know, racism then versus racism now. I believe that's what it was. Now, I looked it up a minute ago, and I guess the actual sentence he said was, and again, he's been comparing then versus now or whatever the whole time. And in the course of doing that, he said, you know, and nowadays, you never hear anybody say. out loud anymore or something to that effect very close well he wasn't lamenting it but

that that's the context in which he said it and uh that's all that Netflix dude or wasn't remember that Netflix guy he got fired for saying the N word in a meeting in a meeting but it was a similar context I clearly don't know the story because I thought you were talking about And that was Sony. I'm remembering Sony. It was emails and it was real bad. No, this was a similar type of thing with the Netflix guy. It was something like, you know, um...

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Anyway, you got fired. Whatever. So that type of thing, what's y'all's general stance on that? I actually, I mean, I've done. General stance on the N-word. I've changed over time. I was definitely a person who, if I was quoting somebody, especially if they were being racist.

Right. Like I would say it because I had this thought of like, and this was a little bit informed. I mean, I discussed this with people. It was like, if I'd pull it right there, I'm kind of taking the weight out of what this racist person has said or done. I don't know how I feel about that. But after hearing, and honestly on a podcast in New York, after hearing some black

people's opinion about that, it was one of those things where it was like, I just respect that a big part of that population doesn't want me to do that. And so I'm like, all right, I won't do it. Yeah, I felt about it. And it's not like,

I'm like, okay, I completely think I shouldn't or should or whatever. It's just more of like, oh, they don't want me to. Okay. Yeah,

and that's kind of the end all. I mean, I was always the, you can say it if you're rapping, you know, because you can't help. Like, you just get in the zone.

You know what I'm saying? That's correct. Don't fuck up the dray. Exactly. And then there was, that Louis bit where he he and you know of course I've gone back on a lot of stuff I used to believe about Louis but there was a Louis bit where he was like when you say the N word you put that word in a person's head which is what saying a word is and I was always like yeah I guess you

should like if you're if you're trying to tell a story about this person said that like you know don't be a coward but it a like what Drew said if the general consensus is even then that's not good then fuck it it's not up to me whether or not I get to say it or not that's kind of The point, it's just not up to me. Even if it's not the general consensus, I'll go a little further. Obviously, there's always going to be some people who feel differently than everyone else. But like, if it's just quite a few, and in my experience, it has been quite a few. And it is the general consensus.

But even if it wasn't, even if I felt like 30% of the black folk I deal with in my life told me that was their opinion, I'd be like, okay, does it know from you. Okay, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're right. You're right. Well, yeah. Or if this is one person that's my friend.

doesn't like want me to say it. Like that's just what that's all. That's all fine. I pretty much agree with everything you guys just said that your perspectives on it that you laid out is also pretty much I've always felt about the thing about. If I'm quoting, if I'm telling a story about some racist ass, I mean, hell, I did this on the podcast recently. And I said the word because the guy had said the word. And part of my rationale was always like you said, it's almost, it almost feels like letting that person off the hook a little bit or something. or whatever, you know what I mean?

If you don't. Just remind me to something. Go ahead. And then, and also everything Corey said about it too, that's always how I've felt. But I agree. If the consensus is we don't say it, then I'm fine with not saying it's not a big deal to me. It's always weird when people die on that hill, right? Where you go like, yeah, I understand your logic, but why are you fighting so hard? And I'm not going to do that.

But, but having said all that, when there's an instance of some public figure, who does say it in those types of circumstances or whatever, you know, how much like backlash or whatever is appropriate when it's one of those types of things. Here's my thought on it. Vigo's an artist. He's an actor. He's a weirdo.

Isn't he from another country? Yeah. I don't know. He may not be. I thought. I don't know for sure. He may not be. I'm not saying that. I mean that makes any of that okay.

But it's like if he had that opinion and someone was like, like, no, man, don't. And he goes, oh, okay, my bad. But like that Netflix, dude, you have to know. It, like, almost feels like a dare from that guy. Actually, do you know what I mean? Yeah, Vigo was born in New York. He's got Danish ancestry.

I was wrong. Okay. It almost feels like a dare. Like, you're in a meeting as an, either it's a slip-up, which means you'd be saying it. Or if you did it, you had this thought process. And since you know who you are, you know you're a Netflix guy, in a fucking meeting.

Just don't. You just want to. Like you, you, it's almost like dying on that hill. Well, you're dead now. I saw,

I saw a tweet where someone said that he said it when he found out how much money they were given friends. Yeah, I saw that too. I know y'all did not just spend $100 million on friends. Which was such a great tweet. But like, you know, we're comedians.

We're on a podcast and somebody goes, oh, you did that and I think it's bullshit. But it's like, all right, you know, we're big boys. We can go, okay, we did it. Here's why. And we've learned lessons or whatever. But it's like, if I'm an exec at Netflix,

why am I taking them risks anyway? And why am I putting the company at risk and trying to pretend, you know, like, I'm going to have what, some First Amendment conversation with people whose ancestors were enslaved? Yeah, right. Yeah, you're going to have a First Amendment conversation with someone who didn't get a say in the fucking First Amendment. And I think also it has to be said, and I could be wrong about this, but just to be completely, I guess, transparent. Growing up where we grew up and having so many people who used it, not even hatefully, some people did use it hatefully for sure. Absolutely.

But like me, sweating like an N-word on Election Day. I heard people who aren't, I don't think racist at all, say that phrase, which acknowledges that the government screws over black people, but I'm not saying that makes it okay. I'm just, you know, hearing that kind of thing so much, I almost think that in my mind, like, it was easier for me in my mind to go, yeah, if you're quoting somebody, you don't want to take, you know, that, come on, we can do that, or we should do that. You know, you don't want to take the oomph out of it if you're trying to make a point about how racist somebody is. And it's like, yeah, but I grew up with that word being thrown around way too much. maybe that desensitized me a little bit. Sure.

Right. Well, yeah. And I mean, then you get into the, you get into the area where it's like, okay, Django Unchained, you know, Tarantino got a lot of shit for how often that word was using that movie. And I will say, yeah, it was a lot, but like, you can't make a that type of, it would be, it would be insane for Leonardo DiCaprio's character not to have said that in that movie. because if you do that, then you're like,

you're trying to make this racist fucking mandingo fighter act like, oh, he would never say that? A slave owner who fought his slaves to the death and, like, he ain't able to say the N word, you know what I mean? And I'll be honest with you. I think most of that was, I don't, I feel like that was probably some white blogger shit. Like, I feel in movies, as long as, as long as the character's a bad guy.

And also going back to the consensus versus 30% or whatever, like, you know, It's not like they're not, aren't annoying people of all races out there. Sure. You know, let's not, let's not get that twisted. But that's where you kind of got to go like, all right, is it like one or two people out of 100 or is it like 30? Mm-hmm. I was in college and I had walked outside to smoke with Kevin Teach. Kevin Teach was visiting.

And this dude, white guy, wasn't, wasn't, didn't go to our school, pulled up. but I recognized him from parties, and I think he, like, sold drugs, sold weed to some of the people on football and basketball teams. So I kind of, like, look familiar, and he was like, hey, what's up? And I was like, what's up, dude? And he goes, have you seen Calvin? Calvin's one of my best friends. Calvin's the guy, I think I told the story in the podcast.

I know I did it on that show we had. Calvin's the guy who came back to Sunbright with me, and we took a raft down the creek. Did I tell that story on the podcast? I don't know. And the raft broke down, and Brian and him were on it, and I, walked out to try and get help and they got picked up by a boat and it was brine and this six foot six black man on the creek in the middle of morgan county which listeners has no black people in it anyway he said have you seen calvin taylor and i was like i haven't seen him tonight and

he said i'm gonna beat that in words ass this dude dray who's also on the football team and also black came outside just a few minutes later teats had already started in the guy what the fuck is your problem dude you know blah blah blah blah Drake comes outside, I was like, what's going on? And I just immediately go, that motherfucker called Calvin, and I said it. And Dre kind of looked at me, but this moment is why I had this opinion. I felt like if I had said the N word, it might not. And I don't know.

Again, it feels like I'm defending myself saying it. I guess that is what I'm doing. But I feel like it did carry way in that moment where Dre was like, what? Because Dre does not like Calvin. Right. But in that moment, he hit that motherfucker way worse. Right. Yeah, I mean, right.

Yeah, like I was saying earlier, like it really does. If it's a situation like that, it almost feels like I said, letting the racist off the hook a little bit, you know, if you don't say what they actually say. But how quickly it came out of my mouth, if Dre, and he didn't do this, he and I weren't very close. But if he had come back and been like, you know, that came out your mouth pretty easily. What would I've said? It did. Like, you're right.

I said it quickly heard it. I was mad. but whatever at the guy. But anyway, I saw a video online a couple weeks ago, and it was like this kid who his stepdad had called his buddy, his black friend, the N-word. And the kid, he beat the shit out of his stepdad.

It was a great fucking video. But as he was beating his dad's ass, he's like, you know, call him up one more time. And he was saying it like a lot. But because he was, and trust me, I searched the comments. I was like, oh, shit, he's about to get, like, invited to the barbecue and then retracted right after this. But, like, I feel there was nothing. It was all nothing but love, you know, in that situation.

Because I felt like, I guess they felt like, you know, he was just raging and clearly in a moment of passion. And that's just how, like, yeah, he wasn't letting him off the hook, I guess. But I don't know. You just reminded me. It's the gray area. I just did Jamel Johnson's podcast. podcast yesterday and he recounted the moment we met to his podcast partner and what happened there well red fans we were at the district of comedy festival I knew Jamel's co-producer

of his show Mike Malloy because I just met him in New York and I was on their show we one of y'all brought us chicken biscuits and spicy chicken biscuits and we had two trays of them and we were walking through the Kennedy Center mason dixie biscuit company It was. You're right. Nice, nice plug. I got their hat on right now. We were fire.

And we were eating those biscuits and we were handing them out to comics. And we handed one to Jamel. He was like, what? We handed it to him. And then we had to keep going. We were going to a meeting greet or something. And as we're walking away, he shouts down the Kennedy Senator. Man, these in words, walking through the Kennedy Center, we handed out loose chicken sandwiches, loose chicken biscuits.

Yeah. And it was hilarious. He recounted that story. And then he said. and I didn't know this. He talked about it on Twitter the time I didn't follow him. Oh, that don't hit. I wish I did.

That happened to him too? No, he did get some flack. Not like for saying it. Like some people were like, no, what? I don't know if he's talking about the same thing or if it was he did it separately. And y'all were with me. We were together.

You tweeted it. I tweeted it. But you tagged him. I censored it. And I, but I tagged him in it because it's like, this is the guy that did it. No, no one, he retweeted it. No one got mad at you because you censored it. And he had said.

it, but he said that some of his people were coming back at him being like, really one tray of biscuits and they're already getting to be. You know what I mean? It was like, listen, I'm not sure about it to the barbecue just yet. Hey, they were good fucking biscuits, though. They were amazing. They were, dude, we got them, they were cold because we've been doing a show and they were still fucking flames. Yeah. I was, like, we ran out, we got high and we gave them all away, not in that way. not in that order.

We gave them all the way and ate a bunch of them, did the meet and greet, went back to Mike and Jamel's room, got stoned, and we didn't have any biscuits, and I was furious about that. That did not hit. So if you were at the Kennedy Center

and I gave you a biscuit, I regret it. So, did y'all see what my good, close personal friend, Bill Maher did this week? I heard something about it. He made,

he said something about it. all red states are jealous of blue states. Yeah, you know, he does that like closing monologue thing at the end. And so first of all, the, this whole premise of his closing rant was that Amazon, you know, they're currently looking for where they're going to put this huge multi-billion dollar facility with all these jobs and stuff and something like 200 American cities have submitted proposals to them to be the city that gets it. And his whole premise was like, Jeff Bezos, don't put this shit.

in LA or New York or San Francisco or whatever. It's like put it in, you know, in a city where it'll actually, you know, make a difference or where, you know, a city that really needs it, you know, a city somewhere in the middle of the country. That's the premise of the rant and in the course of doing that. He, yeah, he goes, he does this thing where he's talking about how they really need it because, you know, they ain't got nothing else. We already have, we already have everything.

They have nothing. Give them this. and then from there he go you know that's that's the whole deal here that you know they don't hate us they want to beat us because they're jealous of all this other shit and then he goes he's like you know they got this we got that the only one i can remember is we have chef wolfgang puck they have chef boy rd it was that's you get it right there was a bunch of those i don't remember any the rest of them but y'all that then that's that's what it was that's pretty much it but of course you know a lot of people were like this is such a perfect example

of, you know, the thing that people hate about coastal liberals and all that. Which is true, but it's not going to matter. He said the N-word last year, too, and didn't get fired, so I don't think the working man's going to take him down. I got... I mean, buddy, the working man don't give a fuck about Bill Maugh. Exactly. I got asked to do this, like, morning show, The Hill. Y'all know the Hill, whatever.

They're in D.C. It's a newspaper and website and everything. Is it the one you die on? I mean, I guess. Is that their whole premise? I mean, they've been around for a while. They're pretty whatever. They ask you a question that is uncomfortable.

Is that the whole? That'd be a good podcast. The hill you die on. Yeah. But they, I went on there this morning and they asked me about this. And I just, I said, I said, look, I'm a comedian. He's a comedian. He's a comedian.

He was doing a bit. I'm not offended. This is what he does. It's not that big of a deal. Having said that, just to clear, one thing. thing up right now, you know, the whole thing about the Red States being jealous. And he said, you know, they don't, they don't hate us. They're just jealous of us.

And I said, look, as somebody who grew up there my whole life and still has roots there and goes back there a lot, let me just tell y'all right now. No, they hate you. Yeah, right. It's like, I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse about it, but they're not jealous. Maybe because you say shit. Right.

They're jealous. Over Wolfgang. You ever been a Wolfgang Puck? I was going to get into that. The one in Vegas hits. but also but like you go to airports a restaurant in Vegas yeah that's also he's the dude that puts his name on like shitty roast beef sandwiches at airports you know airport coolers and stuff like that like I mean yeah it does hit Corey but you you know you ever ate chef boy RD does it yeah buddy

I'm just for you boy here's my thing is that if they if these people hadn't have said anything they were the ones that told the rednecks that Bill Maher said this shit otherwise they'd never fucking known because they weren't watching the goddamn show. Right. And, but like, dude, like, my, I can make a lot of examples, but someone that's currently with us, my father-in-law, Katie's dad, he's like, he's a hardworking family man. He's not a big Trump dude. I hardly ever hear him talk about politics.

He's like, he's a good dude who's lived in Wayne County his whole life. He don't say much, doesn't. No, no, not really. He gave up on talking years ago, you know, he married my brother-in-law and had Katie and her sisters and that was it. But, um, but yeah,

he's a good, good and respectable man. Good role model lives his life. You know, with honor, all that shit. You couldn't pay him five million dollars to move to Los Angeles,

California. Right. Or New York. And there's a shitload of him out there. Like, you know what I mean? Like, dude, my dad drove me to Boston for law school.

We got there on my birthday. We unpacked all my shit. And he. drove back home. Right. Yeah. He, on my birthday, all he did was unpack all my shit and then leave. We didn't go eat.

Yeah. He barely said goodbye. He fucking hated the city. Right. Never, never come visit me. And also, like, there's good, you know, like, if you're cherry picking shit, it's easy to make arguments in either direction because, like, you know, yeah, what, you know, they have fucking houses they can afford.

Uh-huh. They have, you know, open roads. fucking stars in the goddamn sky at night. Actual friendships and relationships with minorities. Just like there's, you know, there's tons of, you could make, you could literally do the exact bit he did in the opposite direction if you wanted. How? Right.

Right. Well, and also, man, we stay, you know, us and our people, we stay talking shit about LA and New York people in our country music and all that shit. So, I mean, what the fuck ever? We all talk shit about everybody. I mean, I know it was Bill Maher and he's got a history of it. and when he says it, he's got more of a punchable face. But, God damn.

Well, he's just a douche. Right. That's his thing. That's his thing. Like, that's his thing. That's what, when I saw it on Twitter, it was trending on Twitter, it says, Bill Marr under fire for comparing red states and blue states. I was like, Bill Maher is under fire for doing his career of 30 fucking years. That's insane.

Like, what the fuck is this shit? I can't. I can't let it pass before I say, fuck Amazon and fuck the whole idea. Because all those proposals, all of them, everyone proposed, you can come here and not pay any fucking taxes for the next 30 years. And that's ridiculous and should be illegal. And if there's anything I'm fucking jealous of, it is the goddamn amount of money that people in L.A. where Bill lives has. But, you know, in other parts of L.A., they ain't doing much better than fucking Salina. Sure.

And it's also like, yeah, that's another thing, too, talking about, like, we have orchestras and world-class shopping and all this stuff. But, like, again, a shitload of people in New York, LA, San Francisco, any of them, like, don't have or are able to do any of that shit. You know what I mean? They're fucking 35 years old and they have five roommates or whatever because they can't afford, you know, to live there otherwise. Yeah. And it's fucking. Or they live in fucking Section 8. And any time, any day of the week, a fucking government official can come by.

And if it's a woman, if he finds a grown man shoes there, they kick her out. They say, oh, you're living with a man. It's fucking bullshit. Right, yeah. And you boys sitting here living in Georgia not being jealous at all and none of that shit. Best nap I ever had was at the Sydney Opera House. I bet. All y'all should be jealous.

I am. Fucking Figaro. You slept during Figaro? Yeah. Woke up during that part. That part, you got off, you got it. Yeah. Yeah.

So. drooling, son. I got a story for y'all. I don't know if it's time to transition to this. Trey, I don't know if you know this. I texted y'all this and I don't know if you went back. Me and Corey moved on. Do you know what happened to me this week?

Maybe. I don't know. My car got stolen. Oh, yeah. Okay. We did just move on from that. That's weird. Here's what happened.

Well, I was kind of happy to move on from it because I wanted to save it for the podcast and get y'all's actual reaction to this. This is the, best worst day I've ever had. Okay. You've had a lot. This is the best worst day I've ever had. All right.

So I went to play basketball at the North Hollywood Recreation Center. I've been playing there during the week. They got open gym from 1230 to 230 to 230. I don't know anybody there. I go into play. It was my second time there. I'm playing. And I have my cell phone on me.

The last time I went, I didn't have it on me at all. When I played basketball in New York, twice my cell phone got ripped. Like two different times playing pickup basketball. at an outdoor park in New York. My cell phone got stolen. So I'm looking around.

I'm trying to gauge the scene here, you know, not be super judgmental. And I kind of want my phone on me. And I don't really want to walk back to the parking lot. I'm not going to annoyed I brought it in, really. I'm like, all right, let me assess here, you know. There's people playing ball. You don't really expect that people playing ball with you to steal it. I'm like trying to gauge the scene here.

You know, there's a homeless guy walking around trying to get us to let him ref. He told us, and I quote, I'm the greatest ref of all time. He also said he was the Antichrist quite a few times. So it's like, all right, you know, there's some shady people. Like, you know, I don't know if he's going to still. Who's he going to call? You know, his mama who hadn't talked to him in 15 years. He's also very high.

There's a few people like in head, like headbands. They're all red. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, are they a gang? Am I just a white guy? You know, whatever. Is that just fashion? I'm going to put my phone in the car.

And I do. And I'm glad I did because that's how I got my car back. Mm-hmm. So I go and I do that and playing basketball. We get done. My car's gone. Someone has taken my keys out of my shoe, walked out to the fucking parking lot. Yeah.

Beep, be, beep, beat. Found it and left. When I went to get to my shoes, my keys weren't there. I know myself. Right. I'm like, but I'm like, no, I just saw them. I saw them in my shoe. Someone asked, are these orange keys anyone?

They found them in the bathroom. They weren't mine, but I went and looked at mine in that moment. So I'm walking around the corner and I'm like, my car's going to be gone. And it was fucking gone. So I'm kind of freaking out. I walk back in. I don't know who to tell what to do. And I realize my phone and my wallet are in the car.

So I'm like, y'all, my car got stolen. These are like 25, 26 year old young men. They're all like, what? I'm like, sorry, can I just use your phone? I call the police, right? I get put on hold because we're in L.A. I'm on hold. I borrow someone else's phone and I call Andy.

I'm like, listen, I need you to get on the insurance and find where we wrote down. the license plate number. I can give that to the police. I get off hold. I got Andy on one phone on speaker phone and the police on the other and a crowd of 25 young men, right? Mostly brown and black.

That's going to be important in about two seconds. I'm talking with the cops and they're like, did you see anyone get in your car? And I'm like, no, we were playing ball and, you know, there was a few people around. Okay, well, we can't send the car out. I'm sorry, what do you mean, ma'am?

We can't send a car to you if you didn't see him get in your car. I'm like, so my car's not stolen if I didn't? They're like, no, no, no, you can report it. You have to come in. I'm sorry, come in, where? So come into the police station. Like, ma'am, how? How do I get there?

They took my car. So I'll give you the address. Maybe you can take the bus. They took my wallet. Well, you can Uber. She starts coping an attitude. I'm like, what do you mean? Uber. They took my phone too.

She's like, well, I just heard you tell your wife to Uber over there, like, kind of snappy. I lost my fucking mind. I bet. I start screaming at her. And the crescendo, I don't remember what all I said, but the crescendo was, this is exactly why people don't like you. You're fucking

unhelpful. That and shooting all the brown and black people. These 25-year-old brown and black kids lost their minds. It was deaf jam. They were like, going fucking nuts. I hang up on them. Andy's on her way or whatever.

I guess I go to the fucking police station. Well, now these guys want to help me. Right? So this guy, AB, comes up to me and he's like, hey man, you said your phone's in the car. You got to find my iPhone. I'm like, yeah, but I don't want to make it beep. And alert the dude, he's like, you don't have to do that.

I've had something like this happened before. You don't have to make it beep. You can just see where it's at. I'm like, okay. So I log in on my phone or whatever. It's like at my house. And I'm like, wait a minute. And I go, you know what, dude?

It's just picking up the last place I got on the internet. You know what I mean? But that's what's going on here. Maybe these guys will give me to a ride to the police station. I start talking to him about that. And I'm like, I call Andy back. I'm like, Andy, walk outside, go right, and go left on Elmer. A block from our house.

That's where it's pinging. The fucking car's there, dude. I live two miles from this place. We're in L.A. Two miles might as well be 40 In terms of where your car would end up The car is parked in a driveway She's like the house looks kind of sketchy

There's bars on the window There's cameras everywhere I'm like my man went straight to Whoever it is They went straight to their drug house They're probably trying to sell the car right now I'm like Andy, call the cops Tell them where it's at tell them you see the car

Cops are on their way She's done that The guys, they're invested now right They like me because I told the cops off They're like yo we're going to give you a ride Let's go, we're rolling on them So I get in a car With these three Hispanic kids

they start rolling blunts. Yeah. They are so fucking excited. Yeah. They're talking about how we're going to beat the dude's ass. If we see them, they're talking about how one of them has got a record, so he better stay in the car.

I'm like, y'all, the cops are on the way. They're like, that's okay. You can smoke weed now. They're smoking weed in this car as we drive up. They've got me laughing so hard. We get there, we're waiting on the cops. Andy is standing 10 feet from the car in plain view with a fucking hammer in her hand. They're like,

Yo, Holmes, your girl's mad crazy, dude. Look at her with the fucking hammer. Oh, shit, what's up, girl? They're losing their mind. It's so fucking. They're having the greatest time. I'm like, all right, there's the car. Okay, whatever.

Sitting there, we're talking. We're waiting on the cops. They're like, yo, call the cops back. Tell them your wife. They don't know you're white. They don't know you're white. That's why I don't hear yet. Helicopter comes overhead.

Andy called this time. So, yeah, they definitely did. Helicopters overhead now. The cop shows up. The cop, he's an Asian cop. His name was Officer Dow, D-A-O. This kid Marvin kept calling him Officer Dad and cracking up. He's like, y'all, Officer Dag, and take care of you, man.

They're saying shit like this in front of them. More cops come. They're about to go knock on the door. Before that, they're like, listen, we can't go knock on the door if you didn't see anyone in the car. Wait, so there's like you, Andy, these three guys you're with at least one or two police officers. And you're all just like gathering outside the house where this is. At one point, the officer had us drive down. towards him, which is a little bit away from the house.

But now we've driven back up. There's two cop cars in the house. No. I was not. They were vaping, so I didn't get a contact high either. That's a real thing, Trey. It happens me all the time. And we're sitting there.

We're outside of the house. Yes, I'm like thinking to my mind, they can see at the window. These cops are just here. And he's like, I don't, I can't, I don't have a warrant. So if I go in there and they say we don't have the keys, I have to go get a warrant. And just so you know. And I'm like, yeah, I know all about that, actually. But you can knock on the door.

and if they run or whatever he's like yeah yeah we'll do all that because at first i was like are you not i was like i'll go knock on that door in front of you like i'm going in that fucking house if you're not he's like no no we'll go i'm just telling you so they go they go around the house there's no one there so now we're just we're just chilling the helicopters overhead they send it away and we're there these kids get a soccer ball out and just start playing soccer in the street the four cops are still they're look they're literally looking at i'm like what the fuck are you doing dude One of them actually says to a cop, hey, if we put a children at play sign up,

you guys got those, right? Can we keep playing soccer? That's tremendous. They send them off. They leave. We're waiting there on a toe, and I just got to get new keys. They take off the direction they leave from.

I look in the antichristis walking down the street. Uh-uh. The homeless dude stole my car, took it for a joyride, parked it in a house that is not his, is and then I guess went to get high. I'm not sure. He was definitely a space cadet level of high when he came back

because there are two cop cars in the middle of the street and he just keeps walking towards us. I'm sitting there by my car that he stole. Officer Dad is like, yo, get away from your car, come this way. I realize now he wanted him to get to the car. Yeah. So he can prove whatever, whatever. I like move down the street.

He sees the cops, keeps walking. and he's like, what's up, fellas, pulls my keys out of his pocket, holds them out for they can see him and keeps walking. Keeps walking? Towards them. With his key, with my keys in the hand, like, looking at it almost like daring him to come towards him. They see, he's like, what do you got there?

He's like, keys, he goes to put his hand in another pocket. They're like, no, no, no, no, don't do that. So now the whole like, well, let's he gets to the car thing. That's definitely off. They grab him. They put him up against a different car. They're like, you know, Whose car is this?

Whose car is this? And he goes, this car? And he's talking about the car they've got him draped over. Points at me and says, I guess it's his car. This your car, homie? Why y'all fucking his car up? I'm like, no, that's my car that you stole. And he's like, nah.

They stand him up. He falls backwards, like on purpose, pretend he's freaking out or whatever. Drops my keys. At this point, I had looked around. I forgot to tell you all this. We had seen, he'd locked the door back, but we had seen he'd taken some stuff out. He broke Brad Carter's umbrella. That turns out to be.

the only damage that's done. Get my keys back. At this point, the three young Hispanic men who had taken off, they saw him, stopped, watched him walk back, they've turned around. They drive by while he's getting arrested, hanging out the window,

high as shit, and scream, Drew! They got his ass! And the cops were like, get the fuck out of here. I'm laughing so fucking, my car has been stopped. I had the worst ever. I'm laughing so fucking hard on the sidewalk at these young stoned kids who just think this is the greatest day ever because i forgot

that i left this part out and i'm so upset i did when they went into the house they were like shitting on all the cops they're like look at this fat dude yo they got to put him in the back because he can't chase him around the house there was this jack guy and he goes look at this dude looks like an iowa linebacker but uh they got he's got to have him read his own rights because that man can't read they're just roasting the cops so anyway they come back drew hanging out the window they get my keys they give him back to me and then the cops are like i don't know if we got enough for stolen car. I'm about to lose my mind.

I haven't said anything, of course, about being a lawyer. And I still didn't at that point. I still didn't be like, but I wanted to be like, what? I couldn't win this case with Johnny Cochran on my team. Like circumstantial evidence is enough to convict in the state of California as far as I know. They get the dude to admit that someone gave him the keys and they just charge him with receiving a stolen property. I don't know what's going to happen now. If I'm completely honest, I'm not pressing.

charges. Like, in my mind, he went to jail. He couldn't make bail. He stayed in jail for, he'll probably be there for the next 30 days. And then I'm just, I'm not dealing with it. I'm not showing up. I don't blame me. I, D.

in the Antichrist. I mean, I wouldn't, dude. That's him. You got the antichrist. I wouldn't, I wouldn't fuck with it either, man, because you said there was no damage done. What about your wallet? You said your wallet was in there. Was that?

He broke Brad Carter's umbrella, which, you know, fuck you, Brad. You got drunk left. Did he, like, not find your wallet? Or my phone, dude. Okay. So he didn't fuck with either one of those. I mean, dude, I wouldn't fuck with it either. No, oh.

I just let it go. It's Andy's car. You know, she's got all those beads hanging on the rear view and a bunch of feathers. But of course. And then she's got like a rock on the left side. And she had a turtle over there that I gave her that's made out of stone. And on the right side, you had this castle with like a little, it's like a baby cat that her dad brought her back from Iraq when he got back from more.

It's this little tiny, like, carved castle with a little crystal ball in it. It's just like her thing her dad found, and it came from him when he was at war, so she likes it. So she had all that. My man ripped all that down, threw it in the floor, ripped the eagle that says drive-by trucker's keychain I have on my keys, ripped it off through it. A neighbor found it in the yard. He got rid of the bird feathers, the beads, the castle, the rock, grabbed the turtle and moved it to the middle of the car. Turtle hooks. He was like, fuck birds.

Yeah. Fuck feathers. But this turtle, yeah. That's his, the turtle and the Antichrist were rocking it out in a Volkswagen jetta in North Hollywood four days ago. If you guys missed that,

I'm sorry. Yeah, so he gets it. Lizards hit. Yeah. Feathers don't hit. Yeah. That's amazing. Turtles ain't lizards.

Whatever. The literal antichrist. The literal antichrist. I was like 18 when I found out turtles was reptiles. I thought they were amphibians, I guess. Well, wait, they, they is on account of they They are reptiles

Right but they're also amphibious For sure are reptiles Because tortoises actually don't fuck with water Right but turtles are amphibious right They are amphibious Yeah But amphibian is a You know what?

I just looked this up recently Because the boys were asking me about it And I realized I was like Oh shit I actually I don't think I know A tortoise is just lying But the reason I know Like you said, there's amphibious. Amphibians, it has, you know how like frogs or tab holes?

Yeah. Yeah. If they live in water completely, like totally live only in water and breathe water and whatever else at one stage of life. And in another stage of life breathe air and then that's an amphibian, I believe. Things like turtles are amphibious because they breathe air and shit, but they also obviously fuck with the water a lot. I just don't feel like turtles and lizards is the same. it makes me angry. I mean, they're both green and fucking water.

I was like a lizard with a shell on it as far as I can tell. They're smooth. They ain't got scales. They got bigger dicks, too. Hey, you know, you see one. Really? I think you ain't seen that one where they pull buddy right out of her. Remember that video that went viral like a month ago?

No. Turtles was fucking. He pulled the dude off of her and his dick was way out and it like spreads out at the end. It looked weird as they. They have spikes. They got spikes on them, don't they? Probably some of them do. I just, I was older than 20.

I want to say this real quick. I've seen turtles fuck. I was like 25. The reason I know is I had a joke about going and getting turtle tracks for my, for Mama Dane Dane, Turtle Track ice cream. Dane Dane. And how it blew her mind. And I was like, and there was a line in there.

They got chocolate covered amphibians out here in my fucking ice cream. Like her mind is blown, you know, like how easy it was to blow her mind. Did somebody like? correct you or something. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Someone told me, you know, turtles are actually reptiles.

Well, actually. And it made me so furious because I was like, even if you're right, that's the dumbest thing. And you said to me. I remember Turtle Tracks being the last ice cream that blew my mind. Like, you remember that Dave a tell? You remember that Dave a tale joke when he's like, when are we going to get some new suits? That's how I feel about ice cream is like, turtle tracks is the last one where it's like, oh shit, they are here doing. doing it and since then I mean yeah

they do wild get with ice cream out here I mean probably I guess okay aside from Ben and like aside from Ben and Jerry's no I mean like you know what like just what's like artisanal you know like fucking 50 copy

crappereries and shit they have the equivalent of that but for ice cream too but I'm talking about like Turtle Track that ain't we go to where they got warm ice cream sandwiches that shit ain't that shit ain't mainstream though I'm talking about mainstream, like, all the ice creams start doing it. You know what I mean?

Like, Ben and Jerry's does some stuff that Mayfields don't do, but, like, everybody does Neapolitan. I'm talking about one that, like, gets mainstream. And Turtle Tracks is mainstream. I can say if Ben and Jerry's is doing it, that's mainstream. I mean, I hear you, but I'm saying, like, every supermarket doesn't have been in it. I know what he means. He's saying, like, you know, there's, like, every major ice cream manufacturer. Has butter pecan.

Make the Rocky Road. Or has a butterpacom ever, like those flavors. Isn't it the case that whoever invented turtle tracks, the other companies have to call it like turtle shells or something different? Probably. I don't know. But it's still that. I mean, I don't know.

I still feel like I'm right. I feel like everybody's doing the potato chips and chocolate in it. That's still, that ain't mainstream, buddy. That ain't mainstream enough. I can't believe I'm doing it to do with ice cream. Here's why I know that's not mainstream enough. I don't quite with Corey about ice cream. Right.

I can't go to it. I can't go to the food line down here and get no goddamn potato chip ice cream. And here's why I know, because I'd fucking have something right now because that shit hits for me. Believe that. It hits so hard. All right. Well, y'all are any parting thoughts? We need to wrap her up here.

Yeah, man. If someone tells you that the fucking Antichrist, believe him. Yeah, for sure, man. Okay. Oh, bullshit. Well, yeah. Yes. If someone is just saying straight to you, I'm the antichrist, yeah, you are paid.

We should have let him riff. You know, that person's, you know, action. True. If you let him ref, you wouldn't it? Whenever you were yelling at that cop and it was hitting for all them black and brown people, do you think you could have said to Mward in that moment and it had been fine? No. Okay.

And I would not have my car. It'd be funny if that's how it played out. I would not have my car. Right. All right. Homeless guy. Only other white guy there. Uh-huh.

Stole my fucking car. Ain't that just the way? I broke his heart. White guy wanted to ref. Of course he did. Well, boys, until next time. I enjoyed it. That was weird, Corey.

That was weird, Corey. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew.