wellRED podcast - #107 - Katie Crowder Wears The Pants

Episode Date: March 6, 2019

This week Trae and his wife Katie sit down in the studio to discuss how Trae can't fix shit and also how his mustache don't hit. Also Drew gets freaked out about the Chinese Government and leaves The CHO a voicemail about it.wellredcomedy.com for ticketsCLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT OUR COMEDY CENTRAL SKETCHES!!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,

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Meanwhile. They got files on people and they're going to have a file on every Chinese person by 20 people. As a whole, my heart goes out to them. I'm an empathetic person. You're living over there. You're not allowed to. You get points taken away if you eat sweets. You get points taken away if you're in a bad mood.

That's all you. You wouldn't have no points. You'd be homeless for being the show. Just from a pure logic standpoint, taking empathy out of it, they're creating the most incredible army ever. They're just getting rid of all the people who want to be. want to hit? Getting rid of people who are just constantly worried about likes? Who's constantly worried about likes? Instagram models. Comedians. Well, we'd be shitty fucking people in the army,

but we wouldn't make it because we'd be heating sweets and getting hammered as fuck. But you imagine all these Instagram models. You see out here doing 5,700 push-ups. They're like doing pull-ups on a tree route, talking about the earths. This is my friend, bro. We're going full paleo. Imagine trying to fight a whole army of those motherfuckers, but they know karate. I ain't having it. It's just freaking me out. And I know, like, we were talking about that, and trade was like, Will Drew, you know, China ain't ever going to attack us because we buy other stuff. Yeah, for now. For now, they want our money.

Yeah, I get that. I get that right now, we mean a lot to China because we are fucking upholding their whole economy. Just so much debt we're going into buying all their bullshit, fucking finger traps and cars and electronics. I get that. But China has, like, ten cities larger than... New York City. At some point, they're not going to need our money. At some point, they're going to need our land.

That's what they need? Yeah, okay, money's fine for now. At some point, what are they going to want, though? Farms and a two-bedroom cobblestone. Where are we got that at, huh? Where is space and affordable housing? You tell me, the South, the Midwest. Yeah, everybody talks about you go to New York City.

That's got the best Chinese food. That's Chinatown. China's going to come over into Chinatown. No the fuck they're not. Chinatown ain't got shit on Mrs. Joe down there in Chickamauga. Go three red lights past the shone. You turn right. They fucking make it with the best grease in America.

I don't know what they're doing in there. They got umami-mami on everything. It's delicious as shit. What I'm saying is all the best Chinese restaurants are in the South and Iowa. That ain't by accident. I'm telling you, Joe. They're fucking coming for us, man. And I'm not talking about shit about Chinese people.

I'm talking about the government of China. They don't hit. They're infiltrating us. They want you to think that all them people, when you go through Chinatown, it smells like fish, are trying to sell you a Louis Vuitton bag for $13 fucking dollars. You're like, how do they get it so cheap? Because a child made it. That's how?

Duh. That ain't what we have to worry about. What we have to fucking worry about is all these goddamn Chinese restaurants in the South. I'm sure most of them are just full of great people. That's not what I'm saying. But what I'm saying is a few of them are fucking operatives. They're coming for our land. With an army full, a fucking Instagram model, paleo motherfuckers who are worried about likes.

That's what they're coming for. We're going to have a file on every Chinese person. Where the fuck they're going to put the filing cabins, huh? We're going to put them in fucking Idaho. About to go get some crab rang. Oh, no. Let's go to Fool in here in Old Cren. They got fucking sushi and fried rice, baby.

Yeah. You know what? Fuck it. Let them take over. I'll pretend to be in a good moot all day long. I'll learn Mandarin. Hell ya. No, I don't hit. I don't want to use chopsticks.

Really, that's it. That's all this is about, man. I ain't trying to use chops. I've tried it before. You know, I like looking cool. Everybody likes looking cool. You're like, oh, look it. Just shovel up your ass.

Fuck that. What's going on, everybody? It's your boy, the show. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellred Comedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D. Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. That's where you can grab tickets to shows, grab some sweet merch like our book,

The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie, Out of the Dark, and sign up for our newsletter so you'll know where we're going to be even before I do. This portion of the podcast, as always, is brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all you meats. Also, carvevodka.com. Do you want to get drunk like you boy the show? you do, go to carvevodka.com and see what Jacksonville loves about their first and only craft vodka distillery. Carve your path today, bitches. Speaking of tour dates, I'm going to turn it over

to Future Cho. Future Cho! Where are you and the boys going to be? G-Pass, Cho, I am so glad that you asked March 6th, Los Angeles, Trey Crowder, and Friends. That is tonight. If you are listening to this podcast at present, March 8th.com. 8, Chattanooga, Tennessee at the Walker Theater tickets are going fast. There's only a couple balcony seats left, so grab those. March 9th and 10th, same situation at the Bejew in Knoxville, Tennessee. March 29th and 30th, we're in Sacramento, California. April 18th, 19th, and 20th, we are in Portland, Oregon.

April 25th, Oxnard, California. May 3rd and 4th, Salt Lake City, Utah. May 17th and 18th, we are in Jacksonville, Florida, no doubt, going to be drinking some carved vodka. May 19th, we are in Orlando, Florida. May 30th through June 1st, we're in New York, New York. June 2nd, New Brunswick, New Jersey, June 28th, and 29th, Huntsville, Alabama, June 30th, Birmingham, Alabama, and July 13th, and 14th, we're in Asheville, North Carolina.

As always, go to well-readcom, W-E-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. This particular podcast is your boy, Trey Crowder and his lovely wife, Katie Crowder, in our new studio in Burbank, chewing the fat for 30 or so minutes. And I haven't listened to the whole thing, but I assume Trey says a bunch of dumb things, and Katie corrects him on those dumb things. So give her a listen. Remember to subscribe, download, and leave us a review. We love you so much.

And ski you. You said nothing about my mustache. What did you almost say? You look ridiculous. What? But I mean, that's not uncommon, so. Thank you. So the stubble doesn't...

So you, what, are you saying you don't like my mustache? No. You're not saying that, or no, you don't like it? I have no preference. You said it looks ridiculous. Even with like the stubble, it doesn't make it look less ridiculous. No. No.

I mean, it's like if I ask you, like, do you prefer my hair blonde or brown? What would you say? You have no preference. Right? Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like a mustache is like a different, more, like a bigger difference. Your facial hair, not mine.

I know. But I'm saying, okay. I mean, I was probably going to cut. know, chop it off before Largo tomorrow night anyway. No, definitely I am, so thank you. You can leave them. I knew I was going to. No, like, I don't know if you remember, but I had a mustache for a little while, like, too.

Very much reminds me of Bonarue. I used to always have a mustache at Bonarro, yes, but that's a difference. Bonarue. I'd grow it out for weeks in preparation for Bonarue. Then I would shave everything but the mustache for the weekend of Bonarue. Then I'd shave that off when I got back and had to go back to the real world. or whatever. Yep.

But after I went full-time in comedy, sometime in 2016 or early 2017, I had a mustache for a while, like, I don't know, a month or two, probably just, like, in the real world. And I didn't like it doing comedy because I felt like I had to say, it felt like it was like a joke. Yeah. Or like I was doing something. Like, I felt like people saw me walk up there and be like, is he doing a thing with the mustache?

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's the must. I know. Right. Well, so I have ended up, cut it off for that reason. Yeah, damn right. Damn straight it is.

So if y'all haven't figured it out, and I don't know if Corey will have said it or not, because we're recording all this separately, but that's the lovely Katie. Y'all remember Katie. And we're here at the new studio that me and the fellas had told you all about. It's just me and her in here right now. Drew is in Tennessee, and Corey's in Georgia. Drew, we were in third. Florida and he just went straight to Tennessee from there because we're in Knoxville and

Chattanooga this weekend. I know. Homecoming shows. It's going to be sweet. But he just stayed up there. So here we are. We're the only ones out west. Mm-hmm.

I was going to talk to you about something that I think our fans will, you know, like appreciate about us. I really feel like you're a little too far away from that mic over there. I don't know. I mean, you do sound all right. but you're like so far away from it. I'll, is that better? Yeah.

Some of our fans are appreciated by us, I think, if they haven't picked up on it already just from listening to us, but that's that you and I, in our marriage, we do not adhere to standard cultural norms on gender roles. And what I mean by that blog title of a sentence, I just said, and me and you don't live by standard gender roles, basically all I mean is I don't know how to fix shit when it breaks and if you ever cooked me a meatloaf I'd throw a fucking parade. That is very accurate.

It's pretty much what it boils down to. No, it's more than that. I also, I'll freely admit it. You're the, you're like the disciplinarian with the boys. Yeah. You're the one that they fear. It makes me upset sometimes even though I know that I mean, I get why. but they'll like sometimes

Bishop will want to do something or want something want to drink something whatever and I'll say yeah it's fine and he'll be like and then he'll come and ask me he'll be like yeah it's fine go ahead and be like what what mama say about it and I'll be like we don't have to you don't have to bother mama right and don't worry about what

mama I told you it's fine yeah but did mama say it's fine? Yeah she ain't even here don't worry whatever and so So yes, clearly, they, you know, like, there's a famous Chris Rock joke about daddies and whatever, and part of it is him being like, you know, the daddy's the one that the kids, like, lived in fear of, you know, mom is always like, no, let me tell you daddy, I'm going to tell you daddy, you don't want me to tell you daddy, you know, that type of thing. And it's just totally not at all the case for us. Yeah, I'm the mean one Well, I mean, somebody's got to be So I'm glad that you do it

I mean, and for the record everybody They love and adore her too They just, she's the She's the disciplinarian I'm the one that like, you know, plays video games But And I limit everything

I'm like games, tablet time Everything else You have to read X number of books Before you even get an hour a day On the tablet But yeah, I like Cook and clean.

You also like clean something, but I'm saying a lot of men don't at all that I do. I cook and clean you fix shit and that sort of deal. But, okay, and here's part of why I want to get into this. And I've told you this before. My stance on all that is when stuff, yeah, when stuff fixes at the house, I don't, I don't try to fix it. Or when stuff breaks at the house, I don't try to fix it. And I'll just tell you, no, I'm not doing it. The reason that I do that is because we have never owned a home.

We have always rented. And that's like part of renting is that the landlord, you pay rent. Part of that relationship is that the landlord fixes stuff. So even if it's like something relatively small, I still am like, no, call the landlord, make them do it. Like that's part of, that's one of the perks of, you know, renting instead of buying. Like, I maintain that I'm capable, and I know how this is going to go, but that I'm capable of fixing and doing shit from time to time. I just often don't, because I think that ain't how it's supposed to work. What have you ever fixed?

I used to do stuff to the vehicles that you never did. Yeah, I don't work. I don't do that. I changed brake pads and rotors before me. I changed the, me and Adam Clore replaced the fuel tank on that Jeep Cherokee. I've replaced multiple alternators. I take that back. I did change the brake pads and rotors when I had the Toyota Camry a long time ago.

I've done, I did a lot of like car stuff over the, and I didn't know how to do any of it. Every single time I looked it up on the internet and YouTube and like figured it out. And I could do that with like a broken sink or something is what I'm saying. If the sink's messed up, I could get on YouTube and Google. I can figure it out, but I refuse to do it because we rent is what I'm saying. Wait a minute. When we lived in Oak Ridge and the garbage disposal broke, do you remember that?

And the landlord bought a garbage disposal, and it sat in our kitchen in the box. Right. For how many months? Forever. Forever until I got under there. Our landlords at that place were a very old, like, sweet couple. And they didn't live anywhere near there. Right.

So. They didn't do shit, but we kind of just. That was fine. I like the house. They were nice. They were really sweet old people and and it was fine. But yeah, they didn't.

Yes, anyway. Yeah, I do. I remember that. The garbage disposal sat there for, I mean, yes, literally months probably. Before you put it in. Yep. Well, that doesn't take away from what I had said already.

No, that's very true. But anyway, but I mean, but you do, you cook and you clean. I think a lot of it has to do with like, I'll say how we were raised. Because, like, I didn't have brothers. So anytime that my dad needed help doing shit, I'd rather do that than, like, learn how to fry food.

Right. And my mom was not around. So somebody had to cook. And it was my dad. Me and Drew talked about this on our podcast not that long ago. So people are like, every week listeners, they've heard me recently talk about that. but just put briefly, my dad's a single dad, couldn't boil water, learned how to cook a few things,

and got okay at, like, the simple dad, or simple, the single dad, like, you know, official cooking playbook, which is like spaghetti, chili, you know, dressed up frozen pizzas or whatever. Like my, my playbook. Yeah, like simple, simple stuff. And he got to where he could do those things reliably well, but it was like five or six things it felt like. And I was, by the time I was 13 or 14, because I was a fat kid, I was like, man, I got to get some, we got to get some new stuff going on in here, which is why I learned to cook in the first place. And cleaning, yeah, it was just me, Paige, and my dad. And somebody had to help clean up or whatever.

So, yeah, I did it. Yeah. So I mean, also, because you're a food person. I, I am not. I'm not a food person. I know. You're one of those food is fuel people, and it sometimes drives me. crazy because when I make something and I'm like, oh man, this turned out great.

Like something I'd never try before or whatever and then it works out. And I'm like, hell yeah. And then you just don't care at all because you're not a foodie. But more so than that when we take trips when we go on vacations together. Trey wants to plan everything around all the restaurants. Okay. And I don't want to do that. Look, the whole food is fuel thing aside, a big part of like the cultural landscape of any given place is the food.

And that's not just a me thing. Anybody would agree with that. Like the food is a reflection of the people in the area and all that. And that's true all around the world. So if you're traveling to a place, it makes sense, in my opinion, to put a priority on. the food that you eat there. But yes, you would get a spinach spinach English muffin

from Starbucks that morning and then go walk around all day and, you know, whatever. Yeah. No, to hell with that. I also like looking at and see, like I like sightseeing or like, like, you know, that architecture tour we took in Chicago. That was fun.

I love, I like doing that type of stuff too. I just, I just, I, also very much care about the meals and you just don't at all. And it, yeah, it's a, it's a problem. But so you, you also have this thing going back to like fixing stuff or whatever. Mm-hmm. You, you want to do it. Like, you have, this is like a part of your identity is that you do this type of stuff.

But you're like, I'm a woman and I do, and I do this manly shit. and you want to do it. No, I just feel like I can fix it. Like, if I can fix it myself, then why would I get someone else to do it? Who's an idiot? If I can fix it myself, why would I get some dumbass who don't know anything about it to help me do it? No, that's not. I think, I think part of it, because, I mean, you grew up in, like, and I say in town.

Yeah. Salina. Like, we didn't live in town. Solina is like extremely rural. I know that. But I mean, yes, I grew up in town so much that Solana even is like a real town in the first place. But, you know, I mean, we lived like outside of town. And my dad was very much, like, did everything.

So, like, if something broke, he wouldn't call somebody to fix it. He would just fix it himself. So, like, I didn't grow up, you know, just calling the plumber or calling the whatever. I didn't do that neither because we, my grandpa did it. Yeah. Okay. But I just, I don't know. I guess I just didn't take an interest in it or something.

I don't even really remember much of that happening, but I know that it had to have. But no, because we didn't rent or whatever. We didn't have a landlord and we couldn't afford to like call. But I don't remember many, like, of those types of problems. Anything happening? Yeah, but I mean, I'm sure that they did. I just don't. recall them. But what I was getting at earlier though as far as I got, you like want to do it. You want to,

I don't know, specific example from recent history. I just want to do it myself. And I can relate to that. That's how I feel about cooking stuff. That's also how I feel about writing things like in my job. Sometimes like I, a lot of times I'd rather just, I'd rather just do it myself. Yeah. But like you, like recently, you, we got bunk beds for the boys and they came in and like while you were putting the whole thing together, I was disposing of all of the packaging that it came in, which was a lot and took multiple trips. It took me a while. I wasn't sitting there playing video games as my point. It took a little while.

While you were putting the thing together, because again, that's our dynamic. Then you had the frame put together and it was time to put the mattress on it. Or the only thing left to do was put the mattress on it. Yeah. And it's a queen over a queen. So this is not like a twin little, does not a little mattress. It's a big ass mattress. Queen mattress. I had gotten up at like, that thing came early that day. Uh-huh. Like I had wanted to go, you know, a lot of times I'll get up, take the boys school, then I go back to sleep for another hour. No, it was delivered early, like right after the boys went to school. And so we unpacked it, did that.

Trey finished disposing of the boxes. You had, it was the only thing left to do was put the, queen mattress up there and I had been up for longer than I like to be at that time of day. It was nearing lunchtime and I had already decided. I was like, I'm going to lay down and taking 30 minute or an hour long nap now. And I came in there and told you, okay, let's put this mattress up there. And you were like, no. And I said, that's the only thing left to do right. And you're like, yeah. I said, okay, well, well, let's do it. It won't take long. Let's do it. And you were like, I'm tired. I need a break. You were like, I want to take a break.

I don't want to put it up there right now. And I was like, okay. It'll take 45 seconds. Let's just do it. And you're like, I don't want to. So then I said, okay, well, just so you know, I'm laying down for a minute. But whenever you're ready, fine. And I went in there and laid down and I woke up a little bit later to the sound, the unmistakable sounds of you putting that goddamn mattress up there on the top bunk by yourself. Yeah. And like, no, that was, I had already put the mattress on. The sounds that I was making was when I was trying to, trying to put the fucking sheets on the mattress. That was worse than putting the actual mattress on the top buck. Well, either way, I woke up and heard it and knew immediately what was going on and was just like, whatever, fuck it, I'm laying here, I ain't getting up. I offered help earlier.

I told her I'd help her when I got up and she's done this anyway. Yeah. So why did you do that? I know why you did it. But won't you, you know, tell the listeners why you did that? Because, because I could? Because you like When I was awake

You didn't want to do it And while I was asleep I didn't want to wake you up I'm saying you You didn't want to do it at one time And then you did want to do it at the other time And you do what you want to do I know that's what I'm getting at

I know that Yeah When I want to do it Right Yeah Even if it makes no sense And you have somebody that was willing to help you But I did it

But you also did it So What does it matter? Next time we have people over to a barbecue or something at our house. You can tell them the story about how I slept through. You putting the... No. Yes, you will.

Don't you lie to me. But so, yeah, you know, like I said, no gender norms around here. Yeah, and I'm currently... We don't believe in them. We don't believe in them. It's not fun. Yeah, that's nothing. I haven't...

Okay, all right, there you go. See, you have helped zero times. I taped that stuff off. You. What, it was terrible? No, it wasn't terrible. Oh, God, here we go. What?

I, should I say what you did? No. Okay. I mean, I taped off the wrong part that didn't need taking off. I asked him, so two walls are all cabinet to the top, and then two walls are wall and then crown molding at the top. It's not a visual medium, honey. I know, right. It's hard to explain. It'll take forever and it'll be boring to explain.

I told him to tape the top. How stupid I am in this fashion. I told him to take the top and bottom on two walls and just the top on the other two. And he was taping top and bottom all around. Anyway, that's another good example. As far as I'm concerned, you took it upon yourself to redo that kitchen or whatever in a house that we do not own. You know, we lived there for two years. And I was like, from the time.

you set out doing it. I was like, well, whatever. If she wants to do this and she can do it, but I ain't sign up for this shit, which is still how I feel about it. But yeah, I helped you that one time and fucked a big part of it up, not all of it.

And that was fine. Like, I mean, I like to do things myself. But, I mean, the main reason that I'm painting is because I just don't feel like the, like, no matter how much I clean, I feel like the cabinets look dirty. So, It just got to the point where I was like, fuck it, I'm just going to paint. If that'll make me feel better and feel like the kitchen is more clean, then it's worth it.

I mean, we're going to be in this house for a little bit longer. Okay, fine, fair enough. What about cooking, though? Fuck that. I don't want to cook. Okay, so we get, I hate cooking. We get, I think, the picture on why you do the other shit. Mm-hmm.

But why don't you, you know. Why don't I cook? Yeah. Um, your mama don't really cook either, does she? She fries a lot of food. I think,

I think part of it is my fitness and nutrition background and knowing, um, knowing how many, like calories and, and all of that stuff goes into food. So I just prefer to not really know that. Like when I'm cooking, when I cook,

it's usually healthy shit. Uh-huh. Because, I mean, I used to cook before we had kids, and now we just do mostly Hello Fresh, and you cook it. Uh-huh. But then Trey also adds a ton of butter and oils and everything else, because I'm like, how many sticks of butter do you add to this?

I don't add multiple sticks of butter to one damn meal, but, I mean, yeah, I put a little bit more in there. What? But I think that's, I think that's, that's part of it is that that I, I don't know, I just have a really hard time enjoying cooking. Well, that's what I was about to ask. Like, you don't, the process doesn't, because, like, I bitch about it sometimes, but, like, I, like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I genuinely like doing it and also find it relaxing a lot of times. You get none of that out of it at all.

I mean, I know a lot of people don't, but I'm just wondering, like, you, the whole, if you do cook something, the whole time you're doing it, it's like a chore. for you, like washing the dishes or something? That's where you like, I don't know how to explain this to you. You know how like people use dishes and they get dirty, right? Well, if you put them in the sink, you like turn the water on, you can make this like special soap and you can use like a rag or a sponge or like a brush wherever you want and you like lather it up and you like clean those dishes and then rinse them off and then dry them off and you can use them again.

I don't know if you understood how that process works. Are you saying that I never washed the dishes? Yes, Katie, that is the joke. Thank you. I do wash the dishes. Oh, my goodness. I have to wash dishes after you wash them. False. That is true statement.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. So you told me about this documentary recently. Yeah. that I guess had went like like it was being talked about right like on the internet people were talking about it

and I see why when you first told me about it said it's just okay it's called abducted in plain sight I'm sure a lot of y'all listen have heard about it saying whatever I hadn't heard shit about it at all and Katie just starts to scratch it oh we need to watch that you ain't seen none that people posting about that sounds crazy I said what is it she goes abducted in plain sight and immediately I'm like no absolutely not

because I can tell already that it's like a true crime thing. He can't do those. And I don't like true crime. I love them. I know. You're a true crime person and I'm not. I like fake crime. Fake crime's great.

I love true detective or whatever, like, you know, movies like seven. And what serial killer murder movies and TV shows, I dig it if they're well done. But like real ones, they just fucking bum me out. And like, bum me out, gross me out, make me. Like, I'm not entertained. by them. I just find them mostly fucked up. I know I guess I'm in the minority on this. A lot of people love that shit.

It's like a huge subgenre. And you love it too. But you're so immediately I'm like, no. You know I don't fuck with true crime stuff. And you're like, yeah, but this is, this is like different. And I was like, no, it's not. I guarantee. And I was like, what's it about?

It's like, well, this family has this daughter who gets like abducted multiple times. And I'm like, no, no. Because like, particularly anything involved. children, I can't, I can't do it. Even fake crime, fake crime that involves fake children, I don't really like or will make me sad. True crime about true children, I can't fuck with it at all, ever. And so as soon as you said that, I was like, no, I'm not watching that. And you're like, no, no, no, you don't understand. And then you start exercising. And then you start, explaining it to me and show me posting stuff.

And within like five minutes, I was like, all right, we got to watch this shit. But we didn't really watch very much of it. You didn't. You fell asleep like you always do. I stayed up and watched it. Oh, okay. Well. Yes, like I always do.

But you didn't watch the whole thing because you fell asleep, but you've seen all the posting stuff. You still know what it's about. I still know, yeah. So why don't you summarize it for people? Yeah. So, I mean, I'd say everybody. pretty much knows that this family.

Where they at? Idaho, Utah, some of the white states. Yeah. One of the widest states, because that's the thing that's said like almost immediately. These are like, these people will make you ashamed as a white person and like think about how much we have to be ashamed of. You know what I mean? And normally we're totally unfazed by it. But like these fucking people, I'm just like, I was telling you as I was watching,

it's like, man, I wonder if black people watch this shit. it just like cracking up. It's like, God, damn these white people are stupid. Oh, man. Because, like, they're so, so white. They're like Mormon-y. I don't know. Are the actual Mormons?

They are Mormons, aren't they? I think it's... Light of Day's Sikes? Yes, I think so. Even if they're not Mormons, they're Mormon-ish, which is probably offensive to Mormons, but I don't care. Mormons are like the whitest brand of white people in this country, in my opinion. True.

And that's what these people are. like and like they have it's a family and they had a daughter uh who got who became the subject of an infatuation of a family of a family of a family friend an adult family friend a dude who you know like fell in love with her basically so anyway some bullet points and they knew this they knew he was like in love with her and he's also married and they were just like whatever they still like let her go like on a camping trip with him he then abscons with her from that. They're gone for a little while.

They get her back. And the thing is, is they didn't even, like, say anything. They weren't like, oh, our daughter is missing. This dude took her on a camping trip for one night. And now... Yeah. And now it's a week later. Right.

Like... But she'll be safe. She's with her pedophile buddy. Yeah. And then they get her back. Don't press charges. End up letting that dude, like, come over and, like, sleep in her bedroom and shit with her. For months. heard for a month because they didn't want to like because the therapist said that it would be good for him

like it's fucking insane as you're watching it the whole time it's like and then on top of that right both parents had affairs with the man both parents that that's one of the things you told me when you're describing it to me and i was like hold up well i saw i saw a post both of them i saw a post and and i didn't get it at first and then i like a couple of days later I saw another one and I was like, wait, the dad? Yeah, I just, that's when I started laughing and I was like, I think we're going to have to watch this shit. So, yeah, the dad, who is again, this super like white, like, like overly nice acting, just dorky motherfucker. It was like giving this dude, this pedophile friend of the family, a ride in the car and the guy was like apologizing to him saying he's just like,

He's so, he's so, like, stressed out. He's got, he's, like, pent up emotions and stuff, and he just needs some release. He just really needs a release, and then he'll be better. Mm-hmm. And, you know, pulls his dick out. And the dad's like, okay. The dad's like, and I, uh, and I reached over and I relieved him. And you're just like, fucking what?

Hold up, dog. You did what? And he just kind of, like, shrugged. He just like, well, he does shrug, shrug, but the end. And he's like, you could tell that he did it. And he was just like, oh, I didn't want to upset the guy or whatever. It's like, that's how they are about everything. It's just like, oh, I didn't want to upset people.

So I just allowed my daughter to be raped by a monster for fucking years. And the reason that they didn't press charges and stuff is because the pedophiles' wife ask that they not. Yeah, because it put like a strain on their marriage or whatever. Like, yeah, you know what? It also puts strain on your marriage. Your husband. Kidnapping and sex and children up. That's, you know, that'll stress a marriage out real quick.

quick. The mom also had a way more involved affair. In my opinion, you could tell the mom was like... The mom was still in love with him. In love with the dude, right? Yeah. He was like jealous of her daughter and all this fucked up, like, um,

Stanis Barathian's wife type shit from Game Thrones. Very much. And, uh, and, uh, shit was... Oh, when the dad's talking about jacking the pedophile off, he says that that was the worst day of his life. Yeah. And whatever? Was jacking this dude off?

That was the worst day of his life. Not his daughter being abducted twice. Neither of the times your daughter was abducted. It was missing for weeks or whatever. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. And yeah, I don't really know what else to say about it other than like I normally don't fuck with that type of shit at all. And it was, uh, but I mean like, it is crazy.

And I was like, I guess I was entertained by it. But also, to be clear, like, I was pretty much. mad throughout most of that movie because I'm sitting there watching it just like you have got to be fucking kidding me you know like the whole time I'm like there's no there's no way he's not about to say I know he's not about to say that he jacked this dude off and it does it's like are you fucking serious right now and that's how like that's the general that's my general one sentence review of that documentary is fucking serious right now yeah that's how you feel watching that whole movie it's insane

You got any more of those? What? That type of shit. No. No, but I mean, that... All right. Well, maybe we'll find something, and... What?

But maybe we'll find something in the meantime and check back in on it later. But me and you, we got to go. Okay. All right, thank y'all for joining us, and hope you enjoy whatever bullshit, Corrin, the rest of them idiots do. And I love you, see you next time. They was wearing pastels and shit. Right, but it didn't...

hit didn't hit didn't hit didn't hit that hit supreme didn't hit that hit supreme are you shitting me getting hit you're so no no no no of shit full of shit all of shit all of shit all of shit

everybody shut the fuck up right now shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up right now yeah oh my god god god god god god that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life.

Hey, did you guys know that we have some videos up on ComedyCentral.com? Well, we do. If you go to ComedyCentral.com, click shows and go down to Well Red. You can view the two new sketches that we just put up in our series, the Well-Red sketch series that we have gone with Comedy Central on their digital platform. They're also on YouTube, on Comedy Central's page. You can go to our Facebook or Twitter or wherever the hell. We've been promoting the shit out of them.

We're super proud of them. We're super proud that we could bring you guys. something aside from the podcast. I mean, we're real proud of the podcast, too, and we love putting it out, and we're glad that you guys listen to it. But, you know, for a while, we haven't put out anything that wasn't just, hey, come see me on the goddamn road. And that's because we've been working on a lot of things.

But as you can imagine, the wheels in Hollywood are much like the meddling bureaucracy in our country, and they move very goddamn slow. So we're just so pumped that we could bring you these sketches that we are supremely proud of. So please go and check them out. share them and that way more people will view them and they will let us do more of them because we are, hell, we're excited to get back to work and bring you guys some awesome content. I will put the links in the information section of this podcast here.

I hope you enjoyed the conversation with Trey and Katie. I know I sure did because it reminded me of a conversation that I had in both my wife this week. Speaking of my wife, she was supposed to come on here as well and do a little interview situation with me like we always do. When we do, Katie, we like to have Andy and we like to have Amber on, but Drew and Andy are apart right now. He's in Tennessee, hanging out, going to concerts, living his best life. And Amber couldn't come on the podcast because when I tried to get her to do it last night,

well, here's the deal. Yesterday was her birthday, and she'd agreed to do it two days before, and then I guess decided instead to eat a shit ton of pasta and wine and then didn't feel like doing it. And I don't blame her, so whatever. ever, but the conversation that Trey and Katie were having that reminded me of a conversation we had was they they were talking about gender roles and how Trey can't fix shit. And me and him among many things, we share that trait. We are not the most handy of men. Me and Amber were having a conversation the other day with some couples and they were talking about mother-in-laws and father-in-laws and how hard

it is to impress your mother and father-in-law. And I just basically told them what I tell everybody's like, I don't give a shit what they think about me. And I'm not, I don't mean that in terms of, you know, fuck them because I love them and they love me. What I mean is like all I know how to do in my life is do the very best I can do my job, which a lot of people until the past three years have thought my job was bullshit because you just go up on stage and talk and fart and do all that and they give you money. And I guess that's true, but up until three years ago, they didn't really give me a lot of money. So now I just feel like, look, here's what I do.

I try my best every day to be the best comedian I can be. And if that's not good enough for you, I'm never going to impress you. the fuck ever. So Amber, here's the deal though. Amber's dad is a contractor. He is a handyman. He runs his own construction business. He's very successful at it. And he's also the shop teacher at our high school where me and Amber met. So like, you know, this guy is manly, manly, manly, and here I am. I'm basically a tough gal at best. I can't do any of that shit. Like Tray was saying, it's not that I don't think I could. It's just I've never had, it's not ever been my fucking thing. So Amber, we were talking with another couple the other day about, you know, parents

and step, not step parents, but father-in-law, mother-in-law is liking us. And Amber said, you know, I know, my dad really, really loves Corey. And I know, I was like, oh, great, that's awesome. She goes, I really think the main reason that he likes you so much is because you're just so much different than all the other. You know, because he's used to hanging out with, and I knew what she was about to say, but I waited for her to figure it out in her head. But she never could figure out a better way to say it. So she said, he's used to hanging out with, you know, men. and I was like, yes, I do know what you mean.

I'm a huge pussy compared to your dad. And that's the thing that we, I say struggle with all the time because around the house, we live in an old house. Our house was built in 1910. So occasionally things creak and maybe, you know, have to be fixed. And luckily he lives right down the street and he can come fix it. But she's always just like, you know, I guess I'll call my dad. I'm sorry.

I'm just used to having somebody in the house that can fix everything. And, you know, my dad can do that and you can't. And, of course, I always get angry and go, yeah, Well, did your dad write a fucking bestselling book? I bet he didn't. And then I get drunk and yell and everybody gets mad at me. And, you know, we're all different. That's all I'm trying to tell you.

We're all fucking different. So go share the Comedy Central stuff and come see us on tour. And we love you. And Scoot. Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you.

God bless you. Good night and Scoot. Thank you.