wellRED podcast - #108 - Putting Diapers on a Goat w/ DJ Lewis & Jake James

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

In this whirlwind of an episode DJ Lewis takes over to tell us about refereeing a fight at a rap show, his new juvenile art program (Y.A.L.L.) and watching a homeless man diaper a baby goat that was shitting all over the inside of an activity center.Lord god it's a doozy. Click here to message DJ Lewis for more information on Y.A.L.L.wellredcomedy.com for tickets

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money.

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast they're the we'd all love to hit skip on our problems now and again but using weed to deal with stress as a teen

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Corey Ryan Forster here, well-readcom, W-E-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com, spelled just like the podcast. That's where you can grab tickets. to shows, grab some sweet merch like our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark, and sign up for our newsletter so you'll know where we're going to be even before I do. This portion of the podcast, as always, is brought to you by smokyboysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all you meats. Also, carvevodka.com. Do you want to get drunk like you boy the show, I know you do, go to carve vodka.com and see what Jacksonville

loves about their first and only craft vodka distillery. Carve your path today, bitches. Speaking of tour dates, I'm going to turn it over to Future Cho. Future Cho, where are you and the boys going to be? Hey, past Cho, appreciate you, buddy. March 29th and 30th, Sacramento, California, April 18th, 19th, and 20th, Portland, Oregon. April 25th, Oxnard, California. May 3rd and 4th, Salt Lake City, Utah. May 17th and 18th, Jacksonville, Florida. May 19th, Orlando, Florida. May 30th, through June 1st, New York, New York. June 2nd, New Brunswick, New Jersey, June 28th and 29th, Huntsville, Alabama. June 30th, Birmingham, Alabama, and June 13th and 14th, Asheville, North Carolina.

Like you said, go to well-read comedy.com. Grab those tickets, yada, yada, yada. This podcast needs, I don't need to say anything hardly about it other than Jesus Christ. It was the funniest thing. It was the funniest podcast. It might be the funniest podcast we've ever done. Also, I'm very sorry that it took me a while to upload it. You can probably tell in my voice that this ain't my day.

But anyway, enjoy this podcast with our good buddies, DJ Lewis and Jay James. And we will see you on next. Next time. Skew. Well, well. Well, here we are. We'll get to the Game of Thrones in a minute because I was actually going to break some shit up. Well, I guess we have now.

Yeah. Here we are. Yeah. Yeah. There DJ is. DJ's here. You'll remember DJ. Yeah.

Yeah. A friend of the podcast, DJ, aka Skinny Bumpkin, always a much requested return guest here with us in Knoxville at the BG where we're doing a show. And we just now turned the mics on, but in the 15 minutes we've been up here, not podcasting. DJs talked about flat earth and, uh, what about pissing? Yeah.

Yeah. If you go into, you're just saying, I'm saying, if you go into your probation office and you're dirty, you need to just go on and tell them that you're dirty. And because if you sit down there and tell them that you, you're wasting their time and saying, like,

I just can't piss and all that. They're going to lock your ass up. But nine times out of ten, if you go ahead, just tell them what's up, you know what I'm saying? Like, I did some drugs.

I got shit out of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the nine times out of ten that they, can I la lawyer this, a little bit. Hold on. Wait, wait,

nine times out of ten, what? They're gonna let you go unless you're just... Like with nothing? Like they don't do? They ain't gonna revoke you off the top if you're honest with them.

Can I, can I lawyer this a little bit? Yeah. That ain't true. Nine times out of ten? If that's true for you, it's because you're so goddamn charming. But I still...

I still completely agree with you. Tell them, if you waste their time and you're like, oh, and I can't be... You're 100% going to jail. Well, I got a bad at him there. But I just don't want anyone out there hearing this to think it's not.

out of 10. It's more like 5 out of 10. It's 50-50. But what do they think? What's the plan for life? Do they think they're going to be like, well, I guess just go home. Okay, here's what I've seen. Here's what I've seen. You can't peeve.

That was what I guess. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to lock you up. They're going to lock you up. That's what I've seen. I've seen people sit out there for like four. That's 100% true.

I've seen people sit out there for four hours talking about that they can't piss. Okay. And then they lock their ass up. And I've seen people and I don't know what the situation was with these individuals. But, I mean, because there's e-cigarettes. E-cigarettes, and the way that they're doing, like, you're smoking, people are putting weed in them. I know for a fact that people have tried to hit an e-cigarette from somebody, and it'd be marijuana, and then them be like, whole fuck. Yeah.

Happened to me yesterday. I didn't know. I didn't know if somebody that you don't hit this. I was like, yeah, I thought it was a jewel or something. And then go to their probation office to be like, look, this is what the fucking deal with. And they understood that. But then a motherfucker just sitting out there going, oh, I can't piss. I don't know what's wrong.

I've only drank a fucking gallon of water. while I've been out here at four hours. You know what I'm completely with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just saying, I don't think it's nine out of ten. You got a nice probation officer is what it is.

Dude, I've seen my probation officers out of there because in Walker County, in Walker County, let's say you get out of, which we're after the bed, if you get out of jail and you don't have a place to live, the only option that they have

is to give you a tent in a goddamn sleeping bag and send you off into the woods, which is completely fucking illegal. Yeah. And that's why our homeless population is like it is. You know, but I've seen,

I've seen my probation. officers. You know how many people I know it will be like, if they give them a tent? I know, dude. You fucking kidding me? My taxes paid for that.

I wish I'd just live in the goddamn woods in a tent. That sounds like a fucking vacation. Well, that's what I was saying the other day. Jails a vacation. Tents are vacation. You ever know how everybody like that

thinks that being in any way locked up is some kind of fucking vacation? Yeah, yeah. Never mind all the rape and murdering fucking violence. How shit is your vacation? You're right.

I'm just. Here you, Panama City Page is some male. No. You don't jail. That motherfucker went on vacation with his shitty kids. I would much rather go to a prison than PCB to be quite honest with you. I think I would. Yeah, dude.

I never been to prison. It's the same amount of heroin needle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to have that bit about that. It's terrible. It's the worst. It's never a big. I had that bit about that way back of the day.

What is that? The bit was fucking hacked because the bit ended up being like, I don't get butt raped on my vacations because the bit it just ended up being about prison butt raking. But I've been on this for a minute. Groundbreaking, groundbreaking, groundbreaking. Buddy, I break butt-breaking. But, butt-raping?

Oh, we forgot y'all were here. You are, yes. Did you say, buddy, I've been butt-raping? I've been butt-raper from my start. They're one of the saga. I was trying to say butt-raping. I've been ground-raking on the butt-raping. I was going to say to you about the logic question, though.

you're like what the fuck did they think was going to happen by pretending they can't pee? Yeah. That's just fight or fly, dude. For sure. It's just like, just, you know, just to the last minute. Don't even show up. That's what I was about to say. I mean, I know, obviously, that'll fuck you too.

But like, right, like, they came there. Yeah, why are you going to fuck? You got to get a ride there. You got to drive there. You're going to spend four hours. You might as well go ahead, drive up to the mountains and goddamn find a cave. You know what I'm saying? This is the fucking content I've been hoping for out of this goddamn podcast.

Giving people real advice on how to fuck. You don't go to your PO if you're going to fail the drug. Don't waste their time. Don't wish you because you go into jail, motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? You dumb some bitch. What the fuck are you doing? Run to Canada.

But man, criminals are fucking stupid, dude. Speaking of you, if you've got to go to a different state, in my experience, Texas will just not send you back to you. Go to Texas. If you're in Texas, you get arrested for some bullshit and they find out you were on probation in Walker County, Georgia, and you got an extradition hearing, Texas has just let you go.

They'll be like, fuck that. We ain't spending money to send you back. Just fucking go. Well, yeah, have you seen the prison camps that they got there? Like in their fucking county jails? I got to be honest. I'd forgotten about that part of it. Yeah, they're a little overcrowded.

Just don't get arrested. Yeah, I think that's generally advisable. They do that fucking, what's it called? The seizure of... Oh, asset forfeiture? Yeah, yeah. That shit. Everybody does that now.

I know, but Texas is like... California's about the only thing. bad about that shit apparently. They take everything. So Drew, how's that work? Logger, Drew. You get pulled pulled over for like fucking speeding or some shit and you go like... Well, as far as I know that has never happened, like you get pulled over for speeding

and then you lose everything. But if they say they find drugs and you're like, you get pulled over speeding, they say they smell weed, they search your car, they find weed. It was your weed. You were clearly just getting high. Okay, you should get charged of possession. But they charge you with possession with intent to sell because they say, oh, and he has $80 of

cash on him. Who has that anymore? or I had a client one time, they legitimately had $500 in cash, but it was in an envelope that said rent. They had proof that every month on the same day they got out $500. They took their car, their car, their Toyota Corolla that this family took their kids to school in because they said, your car, you was using it to sell drugs. And I had this client, and that's all she cared about. She's like, I will literally go to jail for a year if you can get my car out.

so my husband can take my kids to school. That's where I was. That's where I was. I would have took a year instead of getting banished. I was about to go to prison for a year. I was like, I was about to say, fuck it, man.

Instead of like putting me into a situation where not only is this, is this completely, like I'm going to be on probation in this county and y'all are going banish me from this county. Not three different counties. Dade. Doesn't that sound like a made-up word? Hold on.

Like I'm a goddamn monogued. Like you get exiled? Yeah, dude, like a monogue. Yes. Yes. Like a motherbugging 18th century. I mean got Dante Alighieri. You're in the 15th circle of girl.

Georgia does it bad. And they say they're not... What are the rules of banishment when that happens? I don't know, but as far as I know, I'm the only non-violent... They just put you out on a raft in a lake and just set you adrift that way. I mean, dude, I mean, like, I guess, like, okay, you're not supposed to travel across state lines. Yeah. Okay?

You used to do that with me all the time. That was our favorite thing to do, travel across state lines. Yeah. Well, no, I was supposed to do that. I was on non-report. I was on non-report. Okay. All right.

False. We don't want to see this so much ever. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Pause. Because, well, never mind. The moment's past. Go ahead. Well, thanks a lot.

I don't even know. Well, I was on non-report when I was traveling, and they knew that I was traveling. I mean, that was my main thing of income was that I was a comedian. Or at least that's what it was saying. I mean, I was working at the shop riding what happened. But I was like, so it was part of my job description. And at that point, that was cool. So you almost got banished recently.

Shit, yeah, dead, buddy. Fuck, bigger than shit, bigger than chow is fucking crying, dude. I was so fucking, dude, it was awful. He called me to ask me about it, right? From just Walker County. I have been. No, Walker, Dade, Chituga, fucking Catusa. I mean, I'm talking about, I don't know how the fuck.

His county and every county named after an Indian. Dude, Northwest Georgia. They were trying to throw me out of Northwest Georgia. Walker County is the biggest county in Georgia. That's some bitch is huge. And Catos is right. Where the fuck are you going to go? So he goes.

Yeah, right. Exactly. That's the only option. So he texts me or calls me, whatever. He's asked me about it. I have been a criminal defense lawyer with these kinds of cases in two different states and three different counties. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about. I was like, what?

Banishment? I had to look it up. My instinct was, that's completely illegal. They can't just take away your right to live in a fucking place. That's what they used to do to witches. Yeah. Okay, but, but what? I will say that's legal.

First of all, it is legal. And second of all, if you threw DJ in a lake, he wouldn't drown, though. You got damn right. Come out with a sword. I've been with him before. Dagger with the eagle on the hillside for a minute. You might know this boy in a goddamn way. That's what they need to do.

Do you guys remember the last time we did a home-coming podcast in this same theater? We're at the Bejou in the green room right now. Everyone lives. It's hotter than fuck, by the way. Yes, it is. And the guy who just said that has been to jail in Texas. But we're doing what we did last time. We're just screaming at each other.

That's what has been literally every time we've got together. I intentionally have the mic's turn pretty down. You guys are doing it right now. Like I was talking about it, and y'all both just started screaming at me. I'm not. I'm restraining from screaming. I want to scream, but I don't want to be. You do it.

That's how I feel so often. I'm just barely keeping myself. from screaming. Oh yeah, because she was... Oh, and by the day. Yeah, because... Did you know? No.

I just want to scream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's what a stroke is. It's just you didn't scream enough, right? Like, you just held in a scream for too long. I don't necessarily know that. I don't think so, because a lot of people who have my personality have strokes and we stay screaming. Right. Also, though, we stay not screaming when we want to.

Hold on. Don't scream a lot. I still want to know what the deal is with banishment. So it's been up to... How often does that happen? They'd be doing that a lot?

They be doing that out of time. I looked into it because of this and there's a lot of counties in Georgia who do it a lot. It's been up to the Georgia Supreme Court quite a few times. They've always said it was legal. They've sent it to the Supreme Court

of the United States and they've declined to hear it. Dude, not only did I have to... Check this bullshit out, okay? Check the bullshit out. falsified 911 call, right? Verified that the 911 call that they had said that they had called on me, right? It was never happened. In other words, the police showed up where he got arrested at and just, like, came in there and

like, somebody called 911 and they started searching everybody. There was never even a 911 call. Oh, what the fuck? The charges that I got were, they graded a goddamn concert. They just, like, you know, if they came in here right now? So I was opening up for up Church to Redneck, right? I was opening up for him. I say y'all know the story

So anyway No no tell it though They don't know the story Upchurch the rednecks You know one of these Facebook Yeah yeah right right right right Yeah

Just gets on there And videos himself Bump a moron Dumbass God damn redneck Facebook comedians Oh What's up bro

This is from somebody I'm gonna Yeah I think it's fucking chocolate Oh that is Is it liquid chocolate? It's mud whiskey It's mud whiskey

It's mud whiskey Good. Wishkey. Thank you, Shailin. Shailin is so good to us as a fan. I can't tell if he's the best or if he's going to murder us. Well, he definitely is now. All right.

I hope so. Start with me, Shailin. Up Church Redneck. You were opening up a show for him and where was it at? It was in Somerville. Yeah, trying, trying, Georgia. We're Ben lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So basically what happened was after the show, and it was a goddamn rowdy barn burner, buddy. God damn, buddy. It was a. Everybody that's listening to this podcast that knows anything about the trying area is like, really. You don't say. It wasn't at a little playhouse.

And if you're listening to this podcast in like, I don't know, say Iowa, and there's like one town within an hour of you where everyone's like, look, don't go there. I mean, unless you want to. That's what that is. That's what that is. Yeah.

It was a kick-ass show. It was a really fun show. I had a fucking blast. Up until the time that they started fighting in the streets. Is that the show where you told Upchurch the Rednecks fans about white privilege or was that a different show?

That was the one when I was doing all Trump jokes and shit you know. Well, they had already told me to stay up out of fucking trying. They had already,

the police had already been banished from trying. Well, not necessarily banished but they were not, they were not, they were not, I thought he was, I did not take it seriously.

But, you know what I'm saying? They don't mean it. And I'm not saying, and listen, and listen, the people and the police stuff that, look, my honest people are getting,

and I'm not saying that this is like some sort of repercussions from comedy. I felt like that at first, but I don't feel like that necessarily was what was happening. Repercussions for your comedy? Is that what you said? Because you were up there making Trump jokes and stuff? Yeah, I was pissing folks off. I mean, I wasn't making Trump jokes. Basically, what I was saying was, you know, you know what I make. But tell the people what you do. Well, well, but, oh, Jesus. So basically what I was saying, like, why

to fuck my joke? My whole joke was like, man, we can't keep on saying, like, fuck the police Trump doesn't know anything about, you know, a working man. And basically the joke was around there. He's like the chief of chief of police. Like, how is he ever getting, you know, well, I guess there's a lot of anti-police stuff. Come to think about it. I actually started to fuck the police chat. Yeah, they might have had it.

Three separate times. I'm remembering now. So anyway, I'm on stage screaming, fuck the police. And for some reason, they got mad at it. No, they're like, yeah, and a guy, and I went in the police, I was like, you probably should stay out of trying. I was like, ah, buddy, good show. Thank you very much, you know what I'm saying? Right.

And to be clear, if everybody listening, that was a different show. You had done that. They told you never to come back, and then you came back. Came back. Yeah. Yeah. And so it was a great show. And I like Upchurch. He's a, he's a great guy.

He does a lot for his community. I have, I don't have a lot of bad things to say about him personally. I, David, we'll get into that. No, I was just saying, I think that, yeah, yeah, you're doing. So, uh... These are no one who gives a fuck about them. I know, I know, I know, you, yeah, but I know you, yeah. So, so, so, so anyway, so all, so then they start fighting in the streets and shit,

as they are want to do, right? They're in trying. They start trying to each other. Yeah, they was out there fighting, and the police was getting into it. So they had this dude in the chicken wing, right? In the middle of the street, like this right? And the guy's chasing him around. And what's the whole dumb ass thing he's going to do?

Get in the middle of that motherfucker. Start riffing, right? Well, he's got it a little bit. JJ found a whistle somewhere. Yeah, yeah. So, did you have drugs on you when you decided to you? I did not. I had, listen, listen.

Like, I'm asking, did you walk into a pile of people fighting with cops to ref with drugs in your pocket? Not where they said that it was. You, baby You're That shit was a lie You know You know what? You know what?

All right How many times I've heard that So many times I've been like No, I had drugs But not where they said they were Are they really? Really? Because I did

I had it in my underwear Where I keep it Like I had it in my love In my love room I know you're telling the truth All right He's never lied in his life I know

Quit telling me this motherfucker shit. Well, I've already played guilty to it, so fuck them. You know what I mean? Might as well say that, no, they did not find my drugs, okay? They say, race in my pocket, they said they had a makeup case. They said, I don't know what the fuck. But see, there was fights, and they were pulling people aside and, like, putting them up against the wall. You know what I'm saying?

Searching people down, shit like that. I was in the middle of the street running my fucking mouth. You know what I'm saying? And, uh, but I had just got my, I had to go get my check. Sleeveless T-shirt. Sleeve-less t-shirt. I'm not, I'm not,

Drej said asking for it. It's what you was telling you is fucking up again. Yeah. With my ass out. Go ahead. Fuck this butt. Why don't you? Lord, Lord did they.

And then y'all bonded me out. So that was. We did. Yeah, damn sure it in. We did. I remember, I don't remember where was that. We was on the road. We just got a text.

So, goddamn DJs in jail We're like, all right, well, y'all want to split this? I don't know. So, yeah, so yeah, man. So that's what happened. I had to go in and get my check from the dude that was running the bar, and I left my jacket in there. And so somebody could have put something in my jacket.

And that's where they said that they pulled the drugs out of. I don't know that that happened. I don't know. I never saw the drugs. I never saw. And even in court, they said he had a, and he looked at the paper, he goes,

amount of drugs, small amount of methamphetamine. You know what I mean? I was like, well, you ain't got say it all loud, motherfucker, god damn. So. I kind of wish you to took that shit. I could have, I kind of wish you to took that shit to trial. Well, I'm getting amended now. It's getting amended. I mean, I got like, like four four. Well, let's talk about that. I mean, that, you know, that was all fun and

hilarious, but let's, I want to, I want to give you an opportunity to talk about what you're doing now. Kind of, not as a result, though, but kind of related. It's 100% of result. Okay, I didn't want to throw that on there. Because they, they, so. So, so. So I beat, so I was like, man, y'all can't banish me. Number one, I fucking love chicken monger, man.

God damn, dude. Like, why the fuck? I love my, love my trailer and my fucking dogs. So they're going to banish you from... I wanted to leave until they banished you. I wanted to. You know, Drey just said, you wanted to leave until they banished you. That's the most redneck shit of all times.

I don't want to be here. Good. Leave. No. That's true. No. I wanted to leave because I was having so much trouble with the goddamn law, man. You know what's hilarious?

So, so they tried to ban. banished you from Dade County, too? Dave County seceded from the union, and they tried to banish you. And Walker County, Walker County voted no. They did, they voted no. They said they were like, we don't want to sue you.

I know you mean voted no for seceding against the union, but it sounded like Walker County took a vote for DJ. I bet Walker County would take a vote for DJ. Keep his ass in here. Yeah. We need to know where he is.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so then I was like, fuck, man. Y'all can't banish me. Fuck, dude. You know what I mean? Help me out. You know what I mean? And so they ended up giving me $192. I traded the banishment shit for a hundred, 192 community hours to do community service. And they wanted me at the probation office. And I was like, well, this is not going to be great at all.

But, you know, fuck them. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to do my shit. I'm going to handle my shit. And this is what's up. So I started working at the probation office. and I started seeing crazy shit like the shit with the homeless population. I see these people coming out of, and I'm not talking about one person, y'all. I'm talking about like a fucking, a lot of people and families and shit like this. There's no transitional center.

There's no shelter. And I already knew that there was a homeless population. I did not know that it was as big as it is. So, so, and then I've seen how the probation officers were working with the, with these people and how big their hearts were and how great. Chief Bo down there at Walker County, buddy, man, that motherfucker is awesome. And his, uh, Chief Bo?

Chief Bo. You know it was Chief Bo, babe. So he was awesome. So I had all right. That sounds so written. Chief Bo is DJ's probation. No, no, no, no. What say, Bo?

You know, you. We say, Chief. No, no, that's Raymos. Raymo's is my probation officer. Oh, okay. He's the guy who came here last night. Chattanooga, two nights ago. Yeah.

No, it was in Chattanooga, yeah, yeah. So, so what? Probation Officer. Yeah, it's probation officer. Oh, yeah, because he's also Cat Williams. He's Cat Williams Probation Officer.

Yeah, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're supposed to say that. Oh, no, I don't mean that Cat Williams. It's a different cat Williams. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean my cat, William. Yeah, my cat Williams.

Tim, Tim, Tim Williams. It was dog, Williams. Yeah. I had a program already that I was in the juvenile judiciary trying to push to have them help fund for a program called y'all for rural kids teaching them arts, young artist learning leadership. Y'all, yo, yo, yeah, yo, yeah, yeah. So we, y'all, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Young artists learning leadership slogan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the all-state jingle for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You, you, you, you, you. All right. So what is y'all? Keep going. So what we do is we teach you. We teach kids who are in D-Facts or in foster care.

It's Department of Family and Children's Services. We work with them foster kids, people, kids who are juveniles. I mean, we have a lot of kids. kids who are in a bad way. But when I found out about this homeless situation, I found out how many kids there were. Then we started raising money for a place called, I started working up at a place called The Haven,

which was the only shelter in, and it's not even a shelter because the kids stay open that long. They only would stay open for like five hours a day. And so to feed it's for people to get warm and be able to use the internet or they're, you know what I'm saying? Like they might have, you stuff like that. It's just a homeless community area specifically for them. So we cook for them and stuff.

And a lot of kids come in there. So I've been teaching the kids stuff there. But we need more room because it's just, it's just, you saw it. Yeah. It's a very, it's not, it does it. It does it. Yeah, it's some bullshit. DJ joined me through there.

And it's like whatever in America's history was before the strip mall. Yeah. You know, strip mall is like the cliche of, I was in a. goddamn strip mall all run down this was a step below that oh wow yeah dude it was bad yeah this was a stripper mall nice so so now we're raising money to uh to to to get a facility uh that's big enough to have the transitional center for the people while we're on that where if you're raising money where can people donate to the haven in lafayette uh you can say i i i share it all time on my on my twitter and uh i've shared a few times we'll share it yeah yeah yeah share with the podcast uh we only need

$8,000 more to get the facility and be able to turn all lights on and shit like that. So we're $8,000. And the new facility is what? It's the transition center, right? It's a transition center, homeless shelter, and that's where I'll be running. But it's a school, so there's going to be an area for the transition and for the food and stuff. And then we're also going to be able to have a garden and stuff like that.

We're going to be able to have classes there for drug rehabs and drug classes and also for the kids and stuff like that. It's going to be really, it's going to be so, yeah, and then we have a playground and, dude, it's just going to be,

if we could just get this fucking, you know what I'm saying, so. That is sincerely, very beautiful. Now, please tell everyone about the goats. Ha ha.

The goats. The goats. Yeah, everybody wishes they, so, so, okay, so also,

this is redder than fuck. It's in the area that it's in, right? Oh, God. Damn. Yeah, yeah.

Red all the way. Yeah, yeah, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For those of you that are listening this right now, and you've heard me, Corey, talk about where I'm from in Chickamauga, this is 10 minutes from my house. Oh, yeah. And this is the place that Chickamauga's like,

you think we're red. What's it called? The area you're talking. Lafette. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They weren't into war, so nobody gets the shit. I was driving DJ around Lafette as he was telling me this story, and I was imagining the redness that was happening.

Proceed. Okay, so they just started, so they just, started this thing so it's it's only been a year it's it's it's really good that this happened where it has when it's have it has because of the population and stuff booming like the homeless population but uh so they just started they don't really know what they're doing but they're all red as hell and god bless them and they got big hearts and they're just great people and uh but they don't really know what they're doing so uh so on saturdays they have this the day where they like have an event day for like the kids you know what i'm saying so this lady uh so they had the baby go

come in, right? Well, basically what happened was the lady with the goats, basically came over with the goats. I was like, all right, y'all play. This is indoors. Oh, this is all indoors. She didn't bring baby goats to a field. She brought these.

Because he told me the story, and then we pulled up, and he goes, that's where the baby goats were. And I go, in there? It was the room, the size of a double-wise, like half of it. And she was just, she brought the goats. Hold on. Can I say something real quick? Remember when we was pitching a story to ABC,

and we're like, no, the cows will be in the building. They're like, they would never be. cows in a building. They're crazy. Yeah, they don't know what they don't fuck. That was a giant building that had room for cows.

Right. There was not room for baby goats. Right. So what I'm saying is it happens. Yeah, they don't fucking know. Listen, so if they drop the baby goats off at the fucking place, right?

And they're just like, all right, y'all. You're off? Yeah, like, all right, man, I was going to bingo. Y'all plays a cake. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Got a damn.

Where's your green babies? I have the goats are watching. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. So, like, and I'm in the back serving food, man. And I'm like, dude, this is like Mamaw's Kitchen. Dude, there's like old ladies cooking biscuits.

God damn barbecue chicken, dude, which hit like a motherfucker, dude. And I'm back there eating and talking with motherfuckers. And the next thing I hear, fucking chaos, right? Like, there's just chaos. And I look out the door. And there's like these baby goats basically terrorizing all these fucking people. There's running around jumping, shit and fucking, goddamn. Like, old ladies are yelling.

They're terrorizing people. kids are trying to chase them the fucking people and this, and this, and this goes on and dude, and I'm dying laughing. Like, I'm in the fucking floor, dude. I've had no list in 15 strokes. Like, I got the goddamn fucking spatula against the counter. I'm going,

God damn, there's no fucking way. And this goddamn, and this dude, and this homeless dude, he's just eating while there's all his chaos is going on. And the guy's got his bag and says, he hasn't said a word. He basically just gets up, grabs one goat, throws up,

puts his hand in the fucking bag, pulls out like an adult diaper, puts it on the back of the fucking goat, duct tapes the motherfucker onto the goat, sends his ass to the way, and he grabs the other one, and then just goes back and eating like, it never fucking happened.

Start throwing diapers on the goats? Dude, he just fucking, and that was it. And I was just like, oh, my God, this is the best fucking thing that's ever happened. I love this place. I'm staying here. You know what I'm saying? like, can't be banished from this shit.

Can't be banished from this. Was they Biden people? They was eating everybody's food. They were knocking food. These people hadn't eaten in a minute. They were knocking all the food. That's right there. When DJ told me his story, I was like, man, this is fucked up.

But like, this is poor homeless people. They get three hours at this place warm, free meal. Somebody just turns a bunch of goddamn goat close in there. So what the kid with cancer get for Christmas? Fucking AIDS. Like that's that kind of a job. It's that kind of joke. You show up at the homeless shelter

and there's just goats biting you shit and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if y'all have ever seen a goat shit, but basically just, dude, it's something else. It's like, imagine like a twerk, like somebody twerk him, but there's little pebbles, like, shooting out. And it's like, it's just like rapid fire.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just basically just shooting fucking pebbles fucking rapid fire across the goddamn while they eat people's fucking And then a homeless man put a diaper on it. Dude, and didn't even say a word, dude. The only type of wisdom that you can learn by living in the woods in a tent. You know what I'm saying? And I asked them afterwards, I was like, you know, dude, like what kind of tactical situation?

Like, hey, you know, you seemed like you had your shit and go. They were goats. Yeah. You're right, buddy. They were. You were. Jesus fucking Christ. I know.

God, damn. Yeah. Yeah. When he told me this, I was one of the first. to tell y'all immediately and I was like you gotta save this man I was done I'm out of breath again yeah baby DJ you tell us the problem that you specifically have with flat earthers they're too pretentious yeah yeah I agree with that they're absolutely too pretentious honestly all conspiracy theory huh all conspiracy theory people I feel that way they are they are it's like me

and my two buddies have this idea you know what I mean and like it's so like everybody else is yeah we're smarter than you and now you you You know, we smoke pipes and... Yeah, everybody else is all sheep. Right, yeah. Mindless followers who don't... Baby goats. Yeah.

We're all just baby goats with no diapers. The government wants you to believe that the earth is round for literally no reason. Literally no fucking reason. But me and my buddy Bill know better than that. Yeah. Look, we've been watching flight patterns for 14 hours. Look. Look.

That one can go that way? Now look at it. They go that way. Look. Look. You see it turn around? Look. flat earth

flat fucking earth that's what it is it's actually verbatim the keynote address of the flat earth conference was last year but I met one of them on a plane we were on our way to a show

we were on our way to a show and they had a conference the same weekend and I feel like one of you was on the plane with me we were talking about that earlier I think before you got here about Raleigh

because were we in the same hotel and we got yes and we got upgraded me and Corey to first class and this dude was just sitting there In other words, he's rich. This dude is paying for first-class tickets to fight to fucking Riley,

and he's a flat-earther. That blew my mind. Yeah. I mean, for the record, he could have just got upgraded before us. But, so you're trying to tell me he got upgraded because of all his miles. So this flat earthers flying around the goddamn lobe. Now you're right.

Thank you. Now you're right. The main dude, what is his name? Mark. Or he accumulated a lot of miles trying to fly and prove himself, trying to see the edge. You saw that. You saw that, James. Dude, dude, Mark Sargent.

He lives with his mom and his baby. He's like the head, like, dude. He's the head flat earther? Yeah. He's the second one down. Corey just opened a bathroom door and screamed. The head flat earther lives with his mom and about fell. And it was Pete Corey.

That's true. How do he get to be like the pope of flat earth? Dude. Like how did, why is he? Oh, blogging. That is true. Wait. Well, he went by.

Hold on. We got a lot going on in this room. Go ahead, Trey. What were you saying? Well, Jake James says. he got to be the Pope of Flat Earthers the same way I got to be the liberal redneck.

By going viral. Yeah, just talking shit on the internet, I think, and people are listening. And Gray said basically the same thing in a different way. She said blogging. I thought she said clogging. Clogging. Hell of a clogging. Some say the greatest that ever lived. He's up there

tap dancing. I mean like, you see how flat it is? You think I can do this on a round one? It absolutely is. What is it? It's easier to clog on flat ira you need a mic please take my mic everything you say is it this yeah she'd rather let yell at us you know she'd rather let yell at us yeah that's what i hear all day what are you talking about dj that's dumb as fuck yeah you're telling that you're telling that story wrong that's how what i hear is just fucking i love her all right all right dj two words you got for everybody

here buffet insurance buffet insurance please tell them about it now listen this jay's hot in the He did not give you credit for it at all, Drey, just for the record. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She could use it. That's how it came in about because she can't eat. Let's see, $14.99 for all ribs that you can eat. She can't eat enough ribs, right? So imagine that if you go into a buffet, right, and I'm like, hey, listen, for an extra dollar,

can I get, instead of having to pay for it to go plate, you know what I mean? Can I make sure I get my $15 worth of fucking barbecue? Golden Corral or whatever it is. You know what I'm saying? To ensure that I get my money's worth out of this buffet? I thought the idea was you pay the extra dollar up front and if you don't get to $14.99 worth of ribs, then they give it.

Then you get like the difference back or whatever. I thought it was like you just sign up and pay each month for buffet insurance and then when you get to Golden Corral you just have a co-pay. Well, listen. You know what? Actually, that would be better. That's it. That's it.

That's the idea. Leave it to this. Leave it to this. Yeah, yeah, dude. To crack the buffet insurance nut, a chope without even the... Right, right, what's the deductible on it? Like, what do you... Listen.

I've got bumper to look for up to 65,000 miles. Hold on, put the microphone. What if nothing goes wrong? Right. I want insurance that something's going to go wrong on my car so I can... Use that warranty. Exactly. Because you paid for it.

I paid for it. I want to get my money's worth. I need someone to come around. See, that's what I'm up so I can collect... I absolutely agree with that. So if there's anybody out there, we'll look at the fuck about it. show, but listen, ever since DJ has pushed. It's a movie passes format, is all I'm doing that.

But ever since DJ has pushed this on us, I feel like, and this is a hell of thing for me to say, you two have been overthinking it. I think I know. What do you mean? You didn't, I really like that idea. We've talked about this for two days, and that's the first time you came up with that particular idea. I haven't said a word about it, actually. The most simple thing, what he's saying is, look, I might not get my money's worth.

Please let me pay for insurance to make sure I get my money's worth. it. Okay, but in what fashion, if you don't get your money's worth, what happens? Then he's also just paid an extra dollar. No, no, no, no. Then I get to take a go to go play with me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for a dollar.

And I get to feel it as far as, it's not, it's not, I have to. I still think I like my stuff. Yeah, I think yours is the best. The movie best thing is brilliant. That's great. That would love to just get $10 a month for me all the time because I might not go there this month. But it's also, that's just every gym. Okay, right.

that is every gym. It's every gym. But much like MoviePass, you're underestimating how much people love Golden Corral. That's true, but the food cost is different than the ticket cost. It's just buffet. The reason that Movie Pass didn't work is because you literally were paying per month. Your per month subscription was less than even one ticket. Their whole idea, Movie Pass' entire idea, is that they just wanted to mine your data.

They wanted you to sign up so that they could figure stuff out about you and then start selling ads to you. And then the bubble bursted on them. But at Golden Corral, if I put it hit while it was there, buddy. $10 a month. If I pay you $10 fucking dollars a month, and if I go to Golden Crowe three times a month,

but that's you. I know, but I'm not going, but not any buffet. Any buffet. If I gave my nephew a $10 a month subscription to Golden Crowe, you think he ain't showing up four times a day?

Sure, but I guarantee that's still probably 10 bucks to them because that food is fucking pennies on the dollar. I just called my nephew and he said challenge except. But in that one, it would still be worth it

because most people like with gift cards. For six months. Could somebody please break my leg? Yeah, no, man. Insurance is... You can't get to thinking too much about insurance because you'll get pissed off at the whole thing about it. Yeah, in case shit.

In case shit happens. Well, if shit don't happen. Shouldn't I get my money back? Right. Yeah, no, you start really thinking about insurance and it'll piss you off because... Right, but how much money you've paid for years for literally nothing, you know what I mean? That's how it works. mandatory insurance is what pisses me off.

Mandatory, like, fucking, I know you have to have liability for other human beings. But that's, but what I'm saying is, most places only mandatory insurance. I understand. Car insurance. What I'm saying is, like, insurance at the basic level is like, yes, it does suck because, like, you're paying all this money. And then if nothing happens, you just paid all that money. But let some shit happen, and you will be glad you had that motherfucker. Right.

So, like, but fuck that, man. I'll hear you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how cheap bullets are? I mean, you know what I'm saying? You get a gun anywhere. I'm not serious. That's why people shoot dogs where we're from.

Exactly. Because the vet's fucking expensive. Does it? Is it hurting? Shoot it. Yeah. And I feel the same way about myself. So did most of my buddies after high school.

Well, that's a different thing. Oh, right. No, it's the same. I'm talking about physical pain. Mental pain, physical pain. All of it's expensive. Instead of it. But bullets are cheap.

They are cheap. I'm saying if I got a terminal illness, boys, a lot of people, you know. opt for that that route you know like yeah i would definitely that is available to you yeah i know i would definitely do that i would definitely do that i would definitely do that i don't here we are i'm for any reason i'm lost now who knows okay okay that's right's mad as hell and nobody's generally um but let's say okay all right how about this you can hook that that up with the insurance instead of having insurance and all that, you could put your money into Valhaller LLC.

Now, let me tell you what we do here at. Okay, here we go. Valholler? Valholler. I'm in already. All right. So it's our business. Yeah, absolutely.

Our business model goes like this. Instead of being like a funeral. Right. Imagine. Imagine this. Instead of paying money for the thing. I'm definitely going to put some ambience. Yeah, okay.

Go ahead. Do your pitch. Okay. Valholler, LLC. You're going to die, son. Before you party to the pearly gates, call L.L. VAR, L-L-L-L-C. Go ahead. Go again.

Before you want to party through the party, fuck it. Anyway, so. Do it again. No, no, no, no. I just want to tell you the idea and then I want to get off of it. Just basically, instead of,

instead of goddamn, paying for a funeral parlor, and all this shit to make people say, what you do is, you can hook, call us up, and we'll arrange, like, whatever kind of party or anything that you want to have afterwards,

because, like, does anybody like funerals? No. No, they don't. Like, when you go to a goddamn funeral, you go, you look, at the body, you go, well, he still looks dead. What am I paying for? You know what I'm saying?

Like, damn, make him dance, whatever. Something cool. You know what I'm saying? Like, has anybody, like, has anybody been fooled by that? Like, oh, he looks so peaceful. Do you really feel like that? No. My granny used to always say, she goes, oh, he looks just like himself.

No, he never looked like that. No, he never looked like. He used to have color in his face and the lips. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I never remember his eyes being sewed shut. I got to be honest with you. Never. So as an alternative, Valholler LLC offers what service.

We throw a giant party and then we'll throw you out to sea, put you to trash, we'll set you on fire, whatever you want. Whatever you want. Yeah, they have a big, yeah, have a big picture. It's up to where any, like, whatever you want to be your theme and it can be anywhere. Whatever thing. Whatever you want your party to be. Yeah, bonfires, byefires. Dude, yeah, dude, we can send you off like a vicar.

We can set you on fire. You know what I'm saying? Give everybody Viking hats and give a party. You don't care. And here's where we say money. Even if we don't do it. Yeah.

You don't agree. That literally, yeah, that's Brent Marsh in fucking... We change the ideal of the ritual of death and funerals needs to change. It's bullshit. I agree.

DJ and I decided the other day. By the way, podcast is... And the other thing... Fire Festival of Funerals. Yeah. Everybody just give us money. We ain't going to do this shit. Yes.

Before we go any further, I would like to make an announcement. because there's about to be a shift in this podcast. We are joined right now by friend of the podcast, one of our best guests of all time. We got Jake James. Jake James. Jake James. Before you take over,

we're saving money because we're not getting license. No, I just want to ask one question. I just want to ask one question. We don't get any lines. So you got a bunch of, like, different funerals you give. So I can get the Viking funeral, get turned to ashes. Yeah, yeah.

And then everybody that would have gone on the funeral gets to go ride a roller coaster and throw my ashes behind. Yes, yes. And we set that up for you. And we set that up for you. All right, I'm good. Yeah, yo, you, you know, you. Yo, yo, yo, that's my man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got vision. He got vision. Jake James gets it, man. Not vision insurance. Wouldn't you rather have that than have, like, some kind of... Actually, I don't care. I would...

Oh, yeah, you do. But everybody who's going to your funeral does care. It's not about you at that point. No, I know. It's not. It's not. That's the genesis of this business model. Is that the funeral has never been about the dead person.

It's not everybody else. That's true. But nobody else wants to go to the goddamn funeral. Who does? Who likes funerals? I found... That's the same thing with weddings, too. weddings ain't for you.

That's where everybody else, nothing's for you. And you can set up this whole business model. You finally figured it out. I know. Don't hit it. Little Cho has grown up. No,

it ain't about you and it don't hit. Everything's a nightmare and you will die. I'll figure it out though. Do you all remember Nick Swartson's bit about that, about how like he ain't going to give a fuck because he's going to be dead? And he's like, but everybody else they should have a good time. So in my funeral,

my body will come down on wires. Yeah. From the rafters. There's going to be stroblights and partying and all this stuff. That's a bit much. Oh, yeah, right, well. Oh, no, shoot them out of a can. Hear me out. Hear me out.

I don't mean for the party. Yeah, yeah. Fuck the dead person. Yeah, like a remote control hover around. That does sound like a party. His wife is. No, you don't like that? No, I didn't hear it.

There's a lot going on. Dude, what if they can put your body in a hover around in a remote control hover round? Right, and just like driving around. Now it's weekend. It burns. There it is. Your body. That was Dre's idea.

Yeah. I have been trying. I've been trying to give Dre a. microphone for 13 years. What she does is just yell at me and then I projected. Buddy, I've been knowing. Dre is the first... Her yelling at me and me projecting

is me and my wife's whole relationship. DJ, DJ is the first comedian I truly became friends with and therefore Dre is the first girlfriend of a comedian that I became friends with and our entire experience together has been her in the back yelling at me and DJ

going, I don't think that you should do that. to almost anything and she's always fucking right like, guys, why are you spooning in the back of the band right now? Immediately it was caught.

You see, I figured it out. It probably was a good idea. It was cold. That's true. I figured it out. I seem to always end up at DJs while Dre's at work

and that's how these ideas are born. We don't have her there being on negative. You know what I mean? Yeah. He says up like his idea. No, I know. No, what?

Are you kidding me? That's totally my idea. Is Valholler your idea? No. Wait. Okay. That one was... Oh, hi.

Yeah. First thing I want to ask. LLC. Bell Haller. Well, barriers are good. Yeah. Tell me that's not a good idea.

It is a good fucking idea. Just the fact that people might get my ashes in their face on a roller coaster. Like, I'm ready to put all in on this. Dude, if you're way into drugs. This is like the dot org I wear the shirt for. I want to know what color the Valhalla ribbon is. Like, I'm all about it. Jay James is ready to give us 50.

15 Budlights and all the $8 in his bank account. Let's do it, baby. You think I have eight. That's adorable. I don't know the specifics of it because I wasn't there, but you're talking about shooting him out of the cannon or whatever. You know that? Johnny Depp very famously did that for Hunter S. Thompson's ashes or whatever.

And Rowan Stone. In Rolling Stone, people had said that he had spent $3 million on shooting Hunter S. Thompson's ashes out of a cannon for his funeral. And Johnny Depp in this interview was like, that's insulting. That's such bullshit. It was $5 million. No, shit. Yeah.

You gonna do it right. What the fuck? Why would that cost have much? Okay, well, see, that's what I bring it up. That's one of y'all's right now. That's one of y'all's options that you offer for service. Right. I'm saying, apparently, I don't know.

You know, how to look at cannons we just got laid out. He might have had a bar can. He might have, but you could do like a wedding. So imagine this. It's like that, it's like a wedding planner, right? We bring in a book of canons. What, what, which option would you like? You know, I'm saying?

And then we use different, uh, DJ, somebody's already beat you to the punch because for like 30 bucks, you can buy an almost ready to grow weed plant that you put your friend's ashes in. It's an earner. But what are you going to do for the funeral? We're talking about the funeral. We're talking about the party. And also, where did you get your friend ashes?

You had to pay somebody to burn him. We'll do it. We'll do it, motherfucker. Or we can have a funeral home. We do it out back. We're doing out back. Our neighbors are going to hate us. Our slogan is, we'll do it out back.

Yeah, but our LZ. We'll do it out back. Oh, holler. You're going to die, son. Ain't there very famously an old boy around where y'all are from? Yes, that was just doing it out back. Brent Marsh. That's where I mentioned her.

Brent Marks. Oh, okay. He wasn't throwing parties. If he had been throwing parties, he didn't have a dog party. He wasn't even burning the bodies. He was. He was. He had him up into trees and shit.

He did have them up in the trees. I'm so on DJ's team. When he stands up, I stand up. It doesn't say that. Hold on. This is a real... This is my client. Who got that right?

This is a real dude who really did this. Yeah, there was a dude that really did. His name was... Brent Marsh. Brett Marsh. And he was doing what? He had a funeral.

He had... Okay, so here's the Brent Marsh. First off, I went to... I went to school with his nephew, Terry Simo. Terry Marsh. Terry Marsh. Yeah, Seymot. So, yeah.

Seymow, no Simo from the Big Hill. Everybody knows what's up. So, Brent, what he was doing was... It was the noble crematory. in Noble, Georgia, which is an unincorporated little section right off of Wallaceville, right near Chickamauga, Georgia. How come all y'all's towns have names like that? The Noble Crematory,

the Trine Drugs. I have no idea. That's the pharmacy in Trine. It's called Trine Drugs. Ben Thompson has a good joke about it, which pretty much that's what it is, trying drugs. So, you get it. Anyway, so what he was doing was and there's been actually

a recent development in this case that was probably about 12 years ago. What he was doing was people were coming in, they were bringing the body, and they were saying that we want to cremate our dad or whoever the fuck it is that died. Anybody's dead. So what he was doing was he wasn't cremating them. He was just taking the body and

throwing it in the woods behind the crematory. This went on for a very long time and then somebody as it happens in every single crime mystery, somebody was out in the woods with a dog and they just what's that? How is it

cheaper? It wasn't. No, no. Well that's the thing. It never It never made any sense. He wasn't saving money or nothing. That's where the new development comes in. That's where the new development comes in. Dre said he's probably fucking him. But see, the thing is, he could fuck him and then burn him.

He could fuck him. He's saving money. He's saving a lot of money by not turning that criminal. No, but here's the deal. Here's the deal. I've read about this. So that was their whole thing. They're like, he said, first off, it wasn't like he actually had

complete ownership of it at all. So, like, the person doing it. He was just lazy? No. So here's the. That's harder. Here's the new development. That is harder.

It is harder to do that. Here's the new development. So all these people find out that there's bodies out there. Obviously they sue because like, hey, we were getting these ashes and turns out it was just like concrete dust or whatever the fuck it was. Well, the newest development in this that I read probably five months ago was that they had been investigating it for a while after this. And there was a leak for apparently years at that crematory where they've got like all the gases and stuff where they do all this. bullshit and it was there was a toxic gas leak that had been going on for they don't know how long and they're saying that brent marsh showed signs of whatever like hallucinations and lunacy that

was going here and that it was driving him insane he's out my god this is new he's out by the way because that's what they're investing in there go it didn't he wasn't saving any money right there's no signs of him torture his body why was he doing that's the thing though to me it's like it's like that came out and everybody was just like hold on wait a minute wait a minute You mean to tell me that the old boy that was just throwing the bodies in the trees out back was crazy? Right. No, no, I hear you. Well, shit.

No, no, I hear you. But there's different. We should have been helping. Well, how is? But there's a difference in a sadistic fuck that was just doing that because he's a dommer type. Or, but, I'm saying, if he was literally going crazy because of a chemical. Dude, that shouldn't have been a new development. He should have never went to jail.

Right. Dude, he should have never fucking went to jail. I'm saying it, before that development even came out. You just told me the original story the whole time. I was like, that makes no. He has to be a crazy person. And you're, and you're a... And you're 100% right.

But everybody literally just rolled with the... Oh, yeah, he's saving money on the heat bills. And everybody was just like, yeah. He was also having to find out. Hey, hey, fake question. Can I say something? Brent Marsh is black. Right.

That matters. Yeah. That matters a lot. See, I feel like this is the same thing. I know there's a lot of you just throw racing this to no reason. Was that also because of the chemicals? Yeah. He was why.

before we went in. He was born a small white man. Dude, I feel like the same kind of thing where people react to justice that becomes social, like, we react so far, I feel like that's the same thing that's going on with Jesse Smaller. I feel like we need to really like, oh, that's what you wanted to get off your heart today? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, no, no, no.

We can. We'll go Justice Small. No, I don't know. But I'm saying there's so many cases of this. Because there's so many cases, I was just making an example that like we jump on the justice system. The justice system also was about to make an example of him. Go ahead, though. You think he's guilty?

Whether he's guilty or not, son, they're frying his ass. Man, fuck out of it. I think he's a narcissistic actor who faked all that. How do we get off on this? I don't know. Anyway, I said black and DJ was like, I know a black guy. Wasn't it, to be fair, Trey, wasn't it a little cheaper? Not that much cheaper, but a little cheaper just to throw people out.

Okay, but he was still giving people ashes, right? And it was, what, like concrete? So he was like busting up concrete? Right, which is insane. You're right. None of them ever made any serious. You're right. This is going to sound how it's going to sound, but I have friends who run a separate

crematory, and I've talked to them about, they're like, dude, the expense, like, you're not saving that goddamn much. The risk, you know what I'm saying? It's just time it makes sense. How much time did he do? Right. To drag an old fat white bitch, which is who everybody is that dies and knows is an old fat white bitch. So he's got to drag her out of the woods, that ain't it.

Having said all this, the reason you first told me this story, the first time I ever heard it from you, first told me about it before that recent development was because there had been another story about a crematorium in Colorado like two years ago or something where they were doing the same thing except they weren't just throwing the bodies in the woods out back they were like selling cadavers to like to like medical schools and other countries and shit because that's insane because there's it's not really regulated like you would hope it would be like where they get like cadavers from not even huh so this cremish

That should be allowed. But hold on. I get that, like... They should be allowed? Dude, think about how much medical science we owe to grave robbers. Dude, I'm serious. I'm dead serious. No, I mean, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Dang, man. Thank you very much. Thank you, buddy. But lying to somebody about tame, this is your dad's ashes on that shit. That makes a buck-up. No, I'm saying it should be. It just should be allowed.

Question, Trey. I get that it's not regulated, like, there's a medical school in street. Sri Lanka and over in Sri Lanka, there's the, you don't fuck, it, who cares where you get the body from? How do you fly a body from America without having to, at the very least, you ain't never seen weekend at Bernie's? I don't know. I know I said that a minute ago.

I don't know that it was like third world situations actually, but that's what they were doing. Okay, but you said other countries. Where you're kidding. Yeah, but my point is, how do you fly a body internationally? Do you know how hard it is to fly in a live person internationally? It's insane. A dog? They killed dogs.

They kill dogs. Who kills dogs? You can't sell a kidney. You should be able to sell a kidney for profit. I think you should be able to sell it. That's what these people are not mine. See, I've always thought that too. Like they got the fucking like, so they got the list of like the organ transplant list or whatever.

I feel like if I decide there's a dude that wants a kidney and like, you know, I'll give him. Holden 10. Thank you, sir. Hold them 10, cool, yeah. Yeah, you should be able to just be like, no, I'll give them that one. That's fine. Sell kidney, sell lungs. Sell your. Pussy?

Yeah. This is capitalism we're talking about, but still, it worked. Exactly. God, damn it. Yeah. You don't, yeah, your body don't hit for the government. Guys, we got to wrap it up. Damn.

Your body don't vote. That's why they don't care about kids with cancer. So I don't care about old people with medicine. Unless you're like that, 20 to 45, those are the only diseases they're going to give a shit about. You got to be up there talking about it's the luckiest day of my life and really had done something for them to give a shit about you. Lou Garrett.

Well, dude, that's really the problem with folks. You look like say, okay, what's the market, capitalism, whatever, whatever. It's like, if you got cancer, let you die. That's the market fucking answer is for let people die. Right. Because like you're going to go bankrupt. So, yeah, we got to, we're all on the same page. Sure.

Valholler. Somehow. Valhalla. LLC. You're going to die, son. Valholler, LLC, guys, thank you so much for being here. DJ Lewis, Jake James. It's been a blast.

I've enjoyed this homecoming weekend. Okay. I just feel like we need to give Jake a moment to rant here. Okay, please. Because we've been passing a mic back and forth, and that's not really his style. My man's... And I'm proud of him. You don't have to be the last word.

It's not the last word. I'm being a lot of Thrones quiet, and you know it. That's what I'm saying. Very respectful. DJ's been shining. He's the whole reason these last couple shows have been good. And so, like, this... I mean, literally, every time I get to hang out with DJ,

he is the embodiment of what I picture your boy Buckshot. looking like. And so when he was talking about how the goats were buckshot shooting poop out, I was like, that sounds like a DJ thing to be a problem. Right, yeah, yeah. And I like it, man, and I appreciate it. No, I was Game of Thrones Quiet. Hell, I've been wanting to say, what was that thing you said when they took their corolla,

that little lady with a corolla? Took the lady, took the family's corolla because they called them a weed on them. Yeah, yeah, but what was the name of the term you used, like? Asset forfeiture? Asset forfeiture. I feel like every native. American that's listening to y'all's podcast was like they just took the corolla holy shit they took our school

we don't we don't got nobody to drive there so yeah asset forfeiture sounds a lot like them commandeering to me yeah all two of them felt that way you are correct commandering that sounds like draze it's a indian all right american sorry my bad but thanks for cotton motto it's nothing to be ashamed I think of, Dre. They can't see me.

Well, I was eighters more than two. I just had... I could have been white on the radio, but now, for the record, Dre, if they could see you, nobody knows what the fuck you are. You're just gorgeous. And also... You're an ambiguously gorgeous woman.

Also, they knew your name was Dre. They would have assumed, you know, our fans. I'm kidding. I'm like I was radio here in this town, so you can be whatever you want. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You got to say it again.

I don't think I picked it up in the mic. I'm definitely the black guy on the radio in this town. Everybody come up to meet me and they say, oh, man, you Jake James? Man, and then they do that, like. You got that Michael Jackson shit? Like, what's going on? They turn their head around and make sure no one's looking. They said, we thought you were black.

I was like, I don't think you have to whisper that to me. Yeah. You don't have to look around. So, yeah. You can do whatever you want. I can see that. Our manager. last year at the Homecoming show,

we had you on the podcast for the first time. And that was her first comment. I guess she looked you up or whatever. And she was like, God damn, I thought Jake James was black. Yep, it happens. I mean, I don't mind it. I mean, I don't mind it. But I feel like when they say it

and I want to say something like on our show about it, like I can't bring that up because there's no way. You need them to keep thinking you're black. Well, I'm the black Hebrew gay. This is what I want them to think. I don't care what I. I'm sorry, what? Black Hebrew gay.

B-H-G, motherfucker. Yeah, what don't you get about that? Like, the Ignaut. Like, I got an award in all of it. And my aunts, lesbians, so I'm quarter lesbian, which really kind of make me gay, and I'm not married. And I don't know where I'm going in life.

That's the first time I've heard of white, dude, apply the Native American logic to the gay. My aunt's on the other side. Yeah. I'm one-six-teen queer on my dad's right. Tell me I ain't, goddamn it. I'm going to start using that in California. actually.

Oh, it works every time. I'm money. We got to do a show. Bye. Love y'all. Love y'all. Skew. Ski.

What are you doing? Ski. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God. Bless you, good night, and skew.