wellRED podcast - #109 - Carmen Morales: You Can Still Have Fun When You're Sad

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

This week we had the privilege of sitting down with the hilarious Carmen Morales! Carmen is a comedian, actress, podcast host, and all around great person who we've all known for quite a while now. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be in a bad mood when you are with her. In this episode we discuss how we all got to know Carmen, we share road stories, and Carmen gives us life lessons on how to take care of yourself when you are on the road (or any stressful situation really)Go to CarmenMorales.com to hear more from Carmen, and be sure to check out her podcast No Sir, I Don't Like it on iTunes or wherever you get your podcastswellredcomedy.com for tickets 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore,

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Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that.

Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas.

Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com

slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the. What's going on? Well red comedy folk. It is your boy the show well red comedy.com. W.E.L.R.E.D. Comedy.com. That's where you can find out where we're going to be on our 2019 tour. Coming up, March 29th and 30th, Sacramento, California, April 18th through the 20th, Portland, Oregon, April 25th, Oxnard, California, May 3rd and 4th, Salt Lake City, Utah, May 17th and 18th, Jacksonville, Florida, May 19th, Orlando, Florida, May 30th through June 1st, New York, New York, June 2nd, New Jersey, June 28th and 29th, Huntsville, Alabama, June 30th, Burm.

Birmingham, Alabama, and June 13th and 14th, Asheville, North Carolina. Go to well-read comedy.com to grab those tickets, sign up for our newsletter so you can find out where we're going to be, honest to God, before my dumb fucking ass knows where we're going to be. Grab some merch, grab our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie, out of the dark, all that good stuff. Also, did you guys know that we have some sketches up on Comedy Central? Well, we sure as fuck do. So go to ComedyCentral.com, click on shows, and go to Well-Red, and you can check out our sketches, you can also check them out on any of our pages and on YouTube, on Comedy Central's

YouTube. Anyways, we did some sketches and we're going to do some more, and we're super fucking proud of them. This week, we have just one of my absolute best friends in the entire world. Carmen Morales, Carmen is a very funny comedian. I've known her for going on a decade. We've done shows together. We have roomed together in various establishments. She's cooked me food. She's been super sweet to me. Carmen is just one of those people who when you, when you first meet her, you know within a minute, hey, this is definitely a friend for life. This is somebody I just fucking, I don't know. She's special, man. She's, uh, she every time she would come to Chattanooga and I saw that she was going to be featured in her headline or whatever. And I was just emceeing.

I knew I was like, well, I at least have four good days because I get to hang out with my friend Carmen Morales. This podcast was tremendous. We let her talk about everything. She claims Carmen texts me. She's like, oh my God, did I do good? I feel like I got too preachy or some shit. And no, she

didn't. Carmen has a lot of great opinions, and she's going to tell them to you, and she's going to tell them to you fucking very loudly and very, with authority. God damn it, because Carmen's the best. So you can check out her podcast over on iTunes. It's called No, sir. I don't like it.

and go to carmenmorealis.com also for all your carmen morales needs and without further ado here's the podcast with none other than Carmen Morales enjoy skew well thanks for assuming that I'm trash motherfucker I'm oh she's fucking trashed you watch your whore mouth you're uh from Florida so I just even if you aren't you grew up in it you know what I mean but I'm not white Florida no I know that yeah I'm not asking you that's what I was saying it doesn't have to be about you we just want to hear Florida we just want you to make fun of Florida, Carmen. Oh, okay. That was one idea. And then the other topic, go ahead. Do you want to explain that? Oh, that was your, I mean,

anyway, whatever, let's just fucking get into it. You want to just get into it? Yeah, we can just get into it. Surprise me, that, I guess. I know. That's true. We're just because I'm not prepared at all. That's okay.

Okay. We're not either. It's all right. I'm getting, I'm getting that vibe right now. You know who else doesn't prepare for stuff? Fucking pieces of trash. Corey, won't you give Carmen an intro here

she's your buddy you guys go back the farthest we do okay uh this dirt bucket that you're about to hear on the other end uh car remember we're awesome we've know how long we know each about seven years

seven or eight something like that seven or eight something like that and I met you at the comedy catch you were coming into feature for I want to say Ricky Reyes am I correct I think so yeah I don't remember if it was that weekend or if it was a different weekend but anytime I ever came through Chattanooga, we hung out. Whatever. I just remember the first time I saw her thinking, we're going to get along

so well because she is without a doubt, without knowing anything about her, the trashiest piece of shit I've ever seen in my life. I feel like you're really burying the hat. You're really going hard on this whole trash thing just because I said I wasn't trash. And what I mean is I'm not white trash. No, you're not white trash. You're olive trash. Yeah, exactly.

There's a difference. It's a different shade of trash. My favorite thing about this is that we were just explaining something to you, like an idea that we had. That might not, that might get cut out. So the podcast just is going to open with him calling you. I know. I know. Yeah, I guess I'm really talking about the great friendship that we have.

Which by the way, we do. Yeah, we do. But what's even great about how we met is I blindly, and this is a story you never hear about coming from abroad, is I blindly, like, I blindly stayed with. Corey like I had never met him before and it was just a recommendation of a mutual friend who's also a piece of shit Who I'm certain you've talked about plenty on here dusty Slay yeah no not dusty no who was it DJ? DJ sorry DJ Lewis yeah he was on last week he's a yeah he's a frequent the old Northwest Georgia gutter billet yeah

So he was already that's who you go for for recommendations when I didn't know he didn't know anybody Stay with? Yeah. Well, here was my thing. Not to get meth from. No, no. Live with. Well, to temporarily live with.

So it was because I didn't know anybody. And he was my only reference. Because at the time I was living out of a Saturn. So, I mean, my options were slim. He was living on Saturn, probably. Without question. And I was like, hey, man, I'm coming into town. And I think DJ was going to be out of town.

And he was like, oh, my friend Corey will put you up. He's totally cool. So he just gave me this random man's phone number and then I start. Well, man is a bit of a reach. That's true. Your balls hadn't dropped yet. You still had those pink-ass cheeks. And I mean on his face.

I'm not talking about his ass. That was before he was into that whole spanking thing, right? Isn't did you tell him about your spanking face? They know. They know. So I just got this random man's phone number that I was going to like stay with. And it just started with, I was like, all right, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions. And so it started to be like, Tupac or Biggie, what's your favorite fast food?

Like, I just started asking him all these questions. I remember that. Yeah. And then, and I was like, based on these, you don't seem like a serial killer. So I think I'm going to be fine. And I was. And that was one of those things where I stayed with a random man and he didn't meet to me. You know what I mean?

And like, you never hear those fucking stories. It's always like all men are awful and they're always going to kill us. I'm sure he was awful in otherwise, wasn't they? I didn't kill you. You didn't kill me. You also. Like, there was no mushroom stamp on my forehead or anything like that. Like, if you did, he did it lightly enough where a light sleeper wasn't interrupted by it, you know?

And I also remember you made me, you made me a meal when I left. You made me spaghetti squire. What was, what kind of spaghetti squads? You want to talk about a piece of trash. Your house, there was no vegetables in that bitch, okay? Tell me about it. I know. Every time he always.

I was like, would hurt you to eat anything green? Have you seen him, like, on the internet? it was, it's always been a thing with him. He, like, post about food a lot, like, cooking food and, like, nice, like, pseudo-foody type shit. And every time I would go- Back then, I didn't know. Every time I would go down there. No, that piece of trash was only eaten out of rappers.

I know. I know. He'd nothing but bean dip and shit. Every time I go down there, it's like, he would always talk about, I just made, you know, big thing of greens this morning or whatever. And every time I showed up, it was just like, I got some old bugles and a can't, and a can't, some canned meat. I like to eat them off my feet.

I like to pretend like their fingernails. Bugles is the most perfectly named food item ever. Yeah, it sounds exactly, which it just, it smells like an old beagle. Here's the thing. Yeah, it's its dog feet is what it is. It's just like corn chips. Can I defend myself for a second? No, piece of trash.

Okay. I started y'all a braw last week. You did this, by the way, Corey. I wanted everything to be all nice and friendly, but you had to come out shooting like I'm trash. Well, can you tell me, I know it was spaghetti squash because the first time I'd ever had spaghetti squash. What was the meal that you made?

Who's trash now? She introduced you to spaghetti squash. Well, I did, because he wasn't eating any, and I was, at the time... You could tell. At the time, I was living on the... Well, yes. You really could.

But also at the time, I was living on the road, and I was also juicing at the time. That was like when the... I was like just, yeah, I used to travel with a cooler full of vegetables. Oh, sorry. No, no, not steroids. I'm not trying to get...

Yeah. I'm not injecting bullsemen in my ass or anything. Do you have like a car adapter for your juicer or whatever? No, I just used to do it in the hotel room. I had a juicer and a cooler. Wait, who lives in a Saturn stays with random men that DJ? People that have a Saturn. Real goddamn comedians, man.

And also juices. I knew that's where that was going. Yeah. No, I'm not knocking your comedian credentials here. I just, that's. I was a real progressive truck driver, basically. Well, you're riding on wheelhouse. Come to the right place.

It sucks that you're not here, like, in person with us. Doesn't it suck? You're the only person that feels that way in that room. Well, they get, like, overwhelmed with you. You know what I mean? They do. I don't get enough of doses of Corey in my life. I'm a lot.

I am a lot. I was going to say, the only proof that I have that Corey doesn't love Trey more than his wife is that he's never cooked food for him. Ooh. He actually, dude, he did in the last Tennessee weekend, which was just like last weekend or the weekend before, whatever it was. He made like broth for like four days and made like ramen with it and everything. And that's when my goddamn flight got canceled in Atlanta. And I had to drive straight to the show in Chattanooga, so I missed it all. So I kind of am skeptical that it ever existed.

You know what I mean? You know, he was in a restaurant. Look at, I made this. There's no real proof. The first picture we saw that was after we left. That's not true. That's not true at all. I sent y'all fucking videos getting y'all ready for that goddamn four-day ball that I had going.

I do remember that, but I thought it was after, but I believe you. I gave you some of my dog's pills, you piece of shit. I don't want to hear anything about it. You did give me dog pills. He also gave me mushrooms. Confession on the podcast. Corey doesn't know this. I lost within 30 minutes.

Word. No, I know. And you know what? I got them because you lost them in my driveway. Oh, nice, dude. I knew I lost him in a little. liquor store. Amber fucking... The only place I stopped was a liquor store

and then Brian got there and I was like, we about to go see Tramble by turtles in a cave. We saw a band in a cave. We would get mushrooms and I was like, uh, uh, and it was a bolognest amount of mushrooms. Please listen to this because this is... This is what we thought happened.

So Amber came in the next day and she goes, um, there's a sack of mushrooms in our driveway. And I was like, okay and she goes i go oh i gave drew mushroom and she goes right so why are they in our driveway my literal first thought and then you're gonna be about to get mad at me was that you were walking to your car you ate the amount of mushrooms that you wanted and you just threw the bag of that should be enough don't need the rest of these you just throw them over and you're like

i better go in and give them to him no i'll just leave him right here and then i was like no that's stupid he's drew he dropped him there and his wallet's also probably in my yard somewhere. Well, the only place I stopped between your house and realizing they were lost was the liquor store. I just thought they were on the floor of a liquor store close to the airport. Nope, I got them. Which is where I met Brian.

Well, I'm glad. I'm really glad. Well, so, all right. So, yeah. So I used to juice on the road and stuff like that. So I was being real healthy because I was trying out to die at a rust up. Yeah. At a rest stop, right?

It's hard to, you know, do anything worth the fuck while you're on the road all the time. It is. So I was trying. Make an effort. And so I, and so then I, and so then I have. had this buddy and my new friend that I made that, like, didn't rape and kill me. So I was like, oh, this guy's not bad, right? I'll make them a meal because also most dudes, especially dudes like Corey, don't ever fucking cook for themselves, you know, that's why you guys all need

women. All three of you need women to keep you alive. I'm the one that cooks in our family now. I have changed a lot since then. You're welcome, Corey, because I'm pretty sure nobody wants, you're not going to give me credit, but that spaghetti squash changed your life. No, no. I'm I hear you, but like if I, if my wife made me a casserole, I'd throw a goddamn parade. Like, I fucking, like, she doesn't cook anything. I'd fly out. But, you know, hey, that's all right. It's okay.

I like cooking. Like, I enjoy it. So it's fine. But yeah, she, uh, she don't cook shit. But the reason I even started cooking in the first place, because I was raised by single dad and God bless him, it just wasn't. Same kind of thing. I got to, I was just like, I'm going to have to do something because I can't eat much more, you know,

macaroni cheese. Yeah, chili poured over Kraft mac and cheese or whatever. So then I made him, and he was just like, what the hell? Because I made him, it was like ground turkey, bolognese over spaghetti squash. So it's super lean, lovely. And then he was like, I don't know if I'm going to like this. And I was like, it's okay if you don't. But I just.

I don't know if I'm going to like this. And then he ate and he was like, well, holy shit, this is good. Could I have a second? Like he had seconds and shit. And I was like, yeah, and I was like, keep the leftovers. Like, I just want, you know, people love a good home-cooked meal, you know. Yeah, he's looking at first like, oh, no, that's not as beige as I normally like my food. Where's the cheese?

And I did have cheese on it. There was, there was some parm on top. I was glassy about it. I was just making fun of my past fat self. Plastic bottle parm. No, no, I got the legit. Shaved. I literally didn't know about legit shit until...

It was after college. You didn't know until it was... You thought it was only... Parmesan just comes in powder form. Right. That was what I thought. Did you... Do you know that's why it's like...

spelled the way it is? The plastic bottle. You know, it's like Parm... Is that real? Because it's not even real? It's not parmesan. You know, it's not real shit. So they can just call it...

Parmesan. Because they call it a totally different thing. It's like it's okay that it's not... Like how Taco Bell puts the sand in the... recipe so it's like oh it's just how it's how it is yeah so they can get away with not serving you meat macdonald's was going to uh tried to copyright or trademark beef patty the government wouldn't let them get away with it because it was not going to be completely real beef by the way whatever they make still is that gross shit they just didn't let them get

away with trademark right right that's a move i didn't realize that so it's just called Parmesan. Right. It's also like if you ever notice, like if you ever look like craft singles and that type of shit, it doesn't say cheese on it. No, it says cheese product. Cheese product or pasteurized dairy product or that type of shit because it's not. It's not like macaroni. It's not cheese.

It's not. You can't. Briars doesn't say ice cream. It says frozen dairy dessert. And that shit is garbage, by the way. It's the fucking worst, dude. It's a piece of shit. Because it's not ice cream.

I could fucking, I could do this all day. Let's just hate on You know how many times I just walk up the frozen aisle Just going fuck you You're bullshit Get the fuck out of here Do you remember we In Athens

When we fucked up in that waffle house And it didn't work out And we went to a different place It took us forever to get served And we ordered the ice cream they had there also And it was that It was briar Like a pint of briars

And we were all drunk and high And everything It was three in the morning And we were still like This what the fuck is this bullshit That's how you know If it can't pass the drink Drunk in high test.

You know it's trash. Especially drunk white trash slabs at 3 in the morning. We left Waffle House because we wasn't getting good enough service. Corey was eating off other people's plates in the Waffle House. By the way, I was so drunk I didn't remember we left the Waffle House. Yeah. I remember five with Billy Ray's Sikes. Because we couldn't get served there and we went to some wing place.

Did they not serve you because you were already serving yourself of other people's plates? Yes. And bothering other people's plates. customers. We went from like, these women were getting hit on by this guy drunkenly, and he had him trapped, like he was sitting in the booth beside him. And we went from like kind of trying to help them out by making fun of him to just make him fun of the whole table loudly.

What Corey called, Cory, would you call him pretty much to his fuck, Billy Ray Cyrus's ball sack? Is that what you called him? Oh my God. Yeah, I called him Billy. I was like, okay, Billy Ray Cyrus's ball sack. Like, yeah, didn't give a fuck, like right to his face. We didn't care.

that's always a fun fun level of drunk when you just really don't give a fuck so dude with that particular guy I think it wouldn't have even had to be that drunk for all of us was he a tool yeah

yeah he was a huge fucking tool so your stand-up comedian obviously we've oh okay yeah I guess I'm a comedian yeah he was a huge fucking when did you start where

how did it all begin for you I started in a Orlando, Florida. Yeah. And, uh, because that's where I was born. And, um, I started when I was like 22 and I was started doing comedy in a hotel bar, a hotel lobby bar called Bonkers. Comedy Club had like one of those banner comedy clubs or they just hang a banner in a place.

Over a hotel bar. Yeah. And, uh, I started doing comedy there. And we didn't have like a real, there was like an, uh, an improv there, but that was, it closed almost. immediately after I started doing stand-up, not because of me. It wasn't that bad, but. What's what happened with sidesplitters with us in Knoxville? Yeah, it was the guy that owned Backstreet Boys.

What was the guy's name? What? I don't know. His name was Lou, something or other. He owned them? Yeah, he owned them. He owned them. You know how Hollywood is.

They own your ass. It was one of those things. And he owned a bunch of bars downtown, and he ended up going to jail. And so, like, all of his businesses that were downtown closed. and one of them happened to be the improv. There's an improv there now, right? Yeah, it reopened like four or four years later, something like that. Did he go to jail because of his relationship with young men?

No, he was, it wasn't just backstries. It was like backstreet boys, like 98 degrees, something like that. All that genre came from Orlando. Nothing has ever checked out harder. I knew that there was like this impresario, like in Florida who had basically like built those groups or whatever. I never knew the dude's name. I also didn't know that he went to prison. It's not Lou, it's like Lou something or something.

rather. I forgot, I forgot his fucking name. Lou Domlin Phillips. No, like Lou. Now, he's out in about, buddy. I've seen him around. I don't know. But, um, so the, the business, the, so I didn't have an A room. So I came, I was like born in the trenches and then, so, and then, like, all the dudes, what was cool about Orlando is there was still, like, a hierarchy of comics, even though there wasn't that many. There would be, like, open micers and then there would be, like,

people, features and there are the headwaters. Yeah, Pedro. I love Pedro. I love Pedro, too. He was actually. He was, uh, he was, he was, uh, he. He came up to sidesplers a few times when I was in the House of M.C. there and me and him hit it off immediately. And is that where Ricky's from? Is he from Orlando? Ricky, he was born in New York, but he was like, he was an Orlando comic, too, for a long time.

And originally, or he does not, he can't, I think he started, he's originally from Ohio, from Cleveland. But he was coming up in Orlando. And like, so there was, like, all of these headliners that would work the road. And this is before the internet boom was happening. So I was like it was like right before that. So I just learned about comedy from these guys who would do comedy professionally all over the country and I was like, oh, I want to do that. That sounds cool, right? So I was just raised by these dudes. And then once I started working the road, which was probably like two years in just because that's how I thought you got to do. Yeah, you grew in comedy. Right. I was kind of like just raised by like dudes in their 30s and 40s that were some divorced or for. For. Forever single. So that was just kind of like, I had a very skewed view of how the world was. But just because of that's who I was hung out with.

Yeah. Because there wasn't a lot of chicks. There wasn't a lot of chicks, you know, 13 years ago doing it. Right. Well, I mean. Especially not doing it the way I was doing it. Even like, you know, me and Drewbo started in Knoxville, like, going on nine years ago. And, like, there, I mean, there were girls who did comedy, but, I mean, not many at all.

Like, very few. And I don't know, but I bet that's still the case now probably in Knoxville. Like, it's just not, you know, as much of a thing. And that was the whole thing is then you didn't have more than one chick on a lineup anyways because all female comics were the same 12 years ago, apparently. So it was like I was never, even if there were other chicks on the road, I think maybe once I worked with a female headliner in my 12 years, you know. And now it's different because, like, there's enough chick female headliners that can,

they can bring other chicks and like it's the all of that stuff slowly changing but um then it wasn't so it was just it was a sausage fest not even like like because i liked it that way but just i didn't really have another option right but i didn't hate it either because i was always kind of like like a like a like one of those tougher type of broads where it was like i mean i the i use the word broad girl Not necessarily, because I think a lot of chicks say that, I'm one of the guys, but then they're also just fucking all the guys, too. And I didn't, I had the unique perspective where I wasn't fucking any of the dudes I was hanging out with. And I was also mean enough. That was the other thing, too, is I was also, I'd been through enough shit where I wasn't scared. You know what I mean? I wasn't scared of men. So I wasn't meaker. Yeah.

I used to beat up kids when I was in elementary school. I used to beat up dudes. I was a bully. Yeah. When you were 13 is when you started beating up divorced. dads. So I was training for comedy. Pretty much.

But I used to beat up dudes because I was bullied, but, you know, because, so I, I, instead of, but I, but chicks were so mean to me, uh, that I would just, like, avoided them. Like, they were, I had that real mean girl experience. So that I would just, I would just beat up dudes because it was easier because they wouldn't hit me back. Did you go to, like, a big ass, like, Orlando High School, like, you know, with like a shitload of students. Like you see in like high school movies type of experience with like clicks and all this wild. I mean, there's that in every high school. But it's never as like as defined as it is in like a high school movie. Right.

Well, see, we went to such insanely tiny high schools that like that kind of wasn't really a thing. Because I remember having no other experience whatsoever. I'd watch movies like that and wouldn't be like, that's not how it is at all. And then realize later it's like that was true for where I was growing up. Oh, right. is that it was not the way it is almost anywhere else. If it's only 300 people, it's hard to hate. You know what I mean?

It's hard to have. Because then your groups are only like six people. There was just popular and not popular is all there was. And in each group, it was all different kinds of like, you know, whatever, the archetypes of high school students. They weren't, like, separated like you're seeing movies and shit. But so did you have, like, was there this group of, like, catty bitches who were like, like, you said the mean girls. It was more in elementary school of all places. Like there was this group of women that would they would call me their friend, but just I was I was the one they were mean to you know what I mean

And then yeah and I didn't like that so then I would just beat up dudes to make me feel better about it Because a lot of them were just like why is she hitting me right? And I was just like because you're my favorite Like that's how my dad shows me love fucker, you know So I don't I can't figure out why you weren't more popular I was I actually was I had I was I was good in high school like because in high school I hung out with everybody. I went to a predominantly black and Puerto Rican high school. And there was still, there was still white and just a very tiny amount of Asian people. So there's still all of the demographics represented for the most part. But it was mostly Puerto, and like, so, and I was, and I remember going through like phases. I went through a lot of those phases where, like, in middle school, I was like, I was New York and I was not Puerto Rican or ever had been to New York, but I had my hair up and I was listening to all the right music. Like, it was one of those things. I was. would paint the brown line around my lips, you know, and have my hair plastered onto my forehead. And, um,

but it was just not me. And then it was, I made a hard left when I went to ninth grade from that to listening to corn and wearing jinkos. Like I was all over the map. There it is. And then, um,

and then 10th grade hit and I was just like, oh, I don't care about any of this. Like none of it was, I was just like, I think I was just trying to find people that I liked. So I was just, and then I just started hanging out with everybody and wearing whatever I want.

And I was like, oh, you could just do this. You don't have to be a part of a group to make friends. Do you remember Corey earlier when she said she wasn't trash and now we're right into G-N-Os and corn? I mean, it was like, yeah, of course. Yeah. So do you feel like, well, no, I don't think that. That's a dumb question. Trey say something.

What's a dumb question? I love a dumb question. Well, I was going to ask if you had always been into comedy or thought about doing it or whatever. Yes. Okay. So like from First grade. First grade, I had to write a paper about who inspired us and like a lot of people wrote about their family. They wrote about astronauts, rock stars. I wrote my paper about Gallagher. Gallagher was my dude. I know. Fruit. I know. Well, it wasn't the smashing feud. That was my least favorite part. Okay. My bad. You weren't hacking first grade. She appreciated the artistry of Gallagher. It was all the other props that I appreciated not when he was. destroying them. Yeah. But that was the smashing fruit was the element of spectacle that attracted

me when I was even younger than that because, um, like I used to watch that. Bill Cosby's himself and Robin Williams, um, live at the Roxy. Those were like my frozen. Those are like the things like how kids will fixate on a movie and watch it over and over and over again. When they used to take me to video gallery, those were like the things that I always wanted to get right. Like I could pick a wreck. That was like my big perk. You know what? Instead of allowance, I get to pick what movie we could rent. that week for me. I'd get my own movie. And so we would just watch that over and over and over. And I would watch that over and over and over again. And I just always thought it was so fascinating that somebody could just go on stage and say stuff. And it made people laugh all the time. And that was the whole thing because when you're raised by a psycho, like joy, you know, like laughter was the only thing I would kind of like get you through it. So like I would have to, I would love making my mom laugh. You know what I mean? So I used to be goofy and. and real stupid and do all these characters and stuff just to make my mom laugh because it's kind of like, you know, we were in this like weird like my dad.

Like my dad, like, I remember my dad getting mad at me one time because he like felt sick. And then he asked me to bring like his 401k papers to him one time. And I was like, what do you need something to throw up on? And he was like, go to your fucking room. Like he was mad at me for trying to make a joke. And he had to call his, because he's crazy. He doesn't know what I'm trying to do. I'm like trying to make him like, hey, he don't get right pop a bear.

I'm like making jokes. And then he. He would call my mom and be like, is this bitch making fun of me? Like, he had no idea what I was trying to do. And then I was just confused in my room. Like, did I not do the joke right? I felt right. It felt like I was doing it, right, you know?

So it's just, is this bitch making fun of me? I know. What the fuck? How old were you? I think I was like nine or ten. Was he dumb? He's bipolar. He's just crazy.

He's just like, huge trust issues, always thinking that I'm trying to, you know, everybody's always trying to get one over on them you know what I mean so um and uh so it was just it was just a strange place so I just loved I loved that the that ability to make a bunch of people left so I used to do that shit in school all the time I was always in trouble I was always getting suspended and just for my mouth you know what I mean it was just I just I would shoot off at the mouth all the time and um and I had to be quick like that was the whole people always tell me that I'm quick-witted and I don't feel like I am. I just talk fast, I think, is what it is.

But it was always so I could get my shit in. You know, before I would get my ass beat, I would have to get my line in to make it worth it. Exactly. It wouldn't be worth it. Yeah. Is Corey still here? Are you asleep? I don't know.

I was wondering that too. Damn, he's not. Corey. Well, how about that? I mean, keep talking. I'll text him and see what happened. I don't know. He just said, I got cut off somehow.

Feel free to continue without my dumb ass if it's easier. also. Have you been doing colleges ever? With my mouth? Are you kidding me? I'm kind of what I thought. I audition for I audition for the chick for K.P. comedy

that college agent or whatever. And then she was like, um, you call, you say bitches a lot. And I was like, well, I'm talking about bitches. What do you want me to say? And I was like, I guess that means you're not interested. Yeah, you just can't really talk about bitches. Corey did the knack of thing last year, and he showed up to one,

Kyle, I don't remember which one it was, but it was some form of Christian school, which he knew that going in, but they also had said no content restrictions, like that was part of the thing, or at least that's what our touring agent told Corey. And then he gets there, and they tell him like 30 minutes before, 30 minutes before or whatever. It's like, hey, listen, by the way, you're not going to curse or anything. Like, they just basically told him it had to be, like, PG, pretty much, like, at the last minute. Yeah, they can't do that. It's in the contract.

That's it. All right. Well, he went up there. He said, because he was raised in the church and everything. Yeah, yeah. So he just went up there and talked about, like, the Bible and stuff like that, like, making fun of it. But anyway, I guess he rifted and figured it out. But they, I got to offer the other day for some Methodist school in, like, Texas.

And it said no content restrictions. And I told Val, our agent. about that with Corey and I was like so you know because that shit ain't gonna fly with me yeah exactly on the Bible for an hour at all and then he said he went back to him and like mentioned I tried to put specific language in there about that and they wouldn't do it and then he said they were like well I mean well actually there's not no content restrictions you know even though they had said that at first and so anyway I told them just no because I think a lot of times people just don't read that shit.

Corey, are you there now? I don't think it's you. Yeah, I don't think it's you. I think there was some network thing here initially. Good. So I was, I was silent

for 12 minutes and not one of you all was concerned. I was, but you only texted your boyfriend. So I looked at my phone. I didn't have a boyfriend. Ooh. I was like, because I was on my soapbox. She was very much. Like, I didn't interrupt

her, but I was looking at my phone. And I was like, I guess Corey's just doing, you know, of the letter talk thing because he's a great man. Also, you know, I was telling Carmen, we were trying to get it fixed. I mean, you know, you'd be doing that. Like, especially when we have a guest, you'll love. I absolutely do.

And honestly, I thank you for sending me. So we went to, we went to find somebody to help us, Corey. And if you remember, one of the guys here who helps us a lot, his name is Brendan. Yeah. Well, I went out there and asked for Brandon.

And it was like three people. before someone figured out what the fuck out. Really? Two people were like, Brandon? I was like, he's like kind of blonde. And then like a guy was like,

oh, Brendan. Now, to their credit, the guy who figured it out made fun of the other two, so I didn't have to. I have to.

I have to. It was such a hard jump. Brendan, Brandon, Pete, Petty, I get it. I can't not do this

just since you brought it up. And I don't think we've done it on here or not. No, this is different, but I absolutely own it was ridiculous. Okay. Corey was also on that thread. No, this was me and you physically together in the car when it came up.

I feel like he had my back. Okay. Our buddy Pete Revello. First of all, wait, hold on. Is he from Long Island. Do you know Petty DeBrew? Petey DeBrew, no. Okay.

He's a New York comic. These are both New York comic. Okay. Pete Revello had been in town out here. He was in our Comedy Central sketches, one of them. And he did the podcast that night. And the next day I was talking. That's the first time I had met him.

Him and Corey both knew him. And the next morning I was talking about it. I was like, yeah, no, he's great. hilarious. I liked the dude a lot. I was like, he doesn't look anything like what I expected him to look like, though. And Drew was like, what do you mean? And I was like, well, dude, for some reason, I was convinced that Pete was Puerto Rican.

And he's not at all. Like, he's very, like, you know, wide New York, Long Island dude with long, like, blondeish hair and everything. And he was like, really? And I said, yeah, man, I could have sworn. that you guys talked about a this a Puerto Rican comic in New York named Pete, who was just great and you loved him and he was hilarious and all this. And Drew was like, no, no, I don't know. And I was like, is there another Pete?

Is there a different Pete who is Puerto Rican and is hilarious in New York? And Drew was like, I mean, maybe, but not that I know, you whatever. And anyway, like two days later through like a split cider article or something, and I saw Petey DeBrews name get listed, and I sent it to them and I was like, you know this guy, right? Like this hilarious Puerto Rico. Tell me how much I'm not crazy.

He was just like, oh, Petey. Oh, okay. You just did that. Yeah. And it was the exact, that just happened to you. Right. It was the exact same thing,

but with Pete and Petit. Well, I totally owned that I should have made that lead. I was like, yeah, I'm an idiot. But I also feel like, he's the only Petey I've ever known in my life. I don't even think of that name as the same. same as Pete. I realize it fucking is. And he's Dominican, by the way. And I know you

know that. I don't want everyone out there listening to be like they don't know the difference. Well, you've never met him. I don't know him. So yes, I just got it. Someone told you and you flip-flopped him. That's very different. Anyway, he did one of the Comedy Central half hours this year. So shout out to that. And then that's where Trace saw. And he's like, this dude,

you and Corey both told me how funny he was. And I was like, oh yeah, Petey. But then I go, and this is fair. The whole sketch was about a racist white guy thinking we're racist because of our accents. So then part of my defense was like, why the fuck would he be coming out to play that role? Well, I thought it was weird. The Dominican from the Bronx, yo, P.D. Abru, yo, son, you ain't even heard of the fucking herpes.

I bet you Pedy could get racist with the best of him, but like in a really good way. Well, that's something that annoys the shit out of me is people try to act like racism doesn't exist in any other ethnicity. white people. That's actually pretty racist. Everybody. You know. Yeah. We're fine.

It's just other people can do it too. It isn't just a white thing. No, we're just way better at it. Might hurt like a fat kid's feelings. Well, you guys just yell about it. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

So before that whole bullshit with the audio earlier, where were we I was just talking about high school she was talking about on a leash she was getting tattoos she had ginkos I didn't have no tattoos

see I got a lot of commitment issues there's nothing that I like in this world enough to put on me permanently that goes for humans that goes through art it goes for everything see I said that to a friend

one time and he said and he had a bunch of tattoos and he goes yeah you clearly like yourself enough not to do it though because that was his own thing he's like yeah I'm not gonna like this but I already hate myself. Why not put something fucking on it, you know?

I don't know. I haven't seen suicide girls, dude. Those bitches love themselves. And they have tons of shit on them. True. My buddy is a canvas. Mine is a shame. I mean, there's more the one reason to get a tattoo, so I just don't.

Yeah, I'm definitely seeing the comedian origin story, performing here in your background. Psycho dad. bullied. Yeah, bullied. I ate it. Corey's house. Florida. Yeah. So you started doing it at 22.

You talked about that. You said you got on the road. Then were you like road dogging it for years? Yeah, I lived out of that Saturn for like six years. Did you do the South mostly at first or did you go all over? I went all over. It was mainly the South and then the Midwest. South, Northeast, Midwest, like, that combo was, like, good enough to keep me out for a year. And then I would always go back to Florida for the holidays because I have an adorable, a little Italian mom that would have fucking killed me if I didn't. Were you driving that Saturn all over?

Yeah. Because when I met Ricky, and I remember this. Ricky Ray is, by the way. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Did we bring him up earlier? Yeah. Okay.

When I met Ricky, I distinctly remember this. He was one of the first guys who was really cool to me. Like, you know, we got high on my car. We hung out. Me too. Giving me pointers, all that. And he was like, yeah, I came in on the Greyhound thinking about rent in the car, but I'm probably not. And he started just described.

We were just talking about his next week where he was going next. And I heard it all and I thought, fuck that. Dude, I had very similar. Well, this is also because this dude had lost his driving privileges from a DUI. So he's doing this out of necessity. I accidentally told already I had a snitch that in me too. Well, it was like, but that was what was impressive is like he was still able to do comedy like for a living while not even being able to drive, which was impressive to me, you know? Because him and like Patrick Garrity and like Pedro Lima and like Mike Allen, there were all these dudes that aren't famous that were really good comedians and are really good comedians that were.

just like working like making tiny pockets of people all around the country laugh you know funny about that you said were are and for a second I was like no I mean they could have all been dead well some of them don't do it anymore like Mike Allen doesn't do it anymore like but Patrick Garrity and

and Pedro is very particular about when and where he does it he's very boozy when it when it comes to stand up like I only do shows with my friends and um god damn Puerto Rican one by the way Pedro's fucking hilarious. He's so good. Yeah, he's great.

I love him. He's one of those dudes where if I ever get to a point where I can make some calls, like Pedro's getting a call, you know? I remember being absolutely blown away by him because the weekend that I met him at Sidesplitters, he was, I don't remember who for, but he was featuring for somebody at Sidesplitters. Dude, so was Ricky, and I don't remember who for it. Ricky buried whoever the fuck it was. So I also emceived when Ricky was featuring there.

And then later, I met him. Ricky at Sidespliers. And later, I was on a show with you and Ricky at a place in Knoxville called Jack and Dianz. It was this like bar, like down town. Oh, it was like for a festival, right? It wasn't a festival thing. I thought I met you at the Scruffy City Comedy Festival. That's definitely where you and I met.

And you took that picture of me with the word titties. Yeah. In front of it. At some show we were on where we had to talk about what was in front of us, but we didn't know what it was. I love that picture of you. Yeah. But anyway, Pedro was like. Again, he was featuring, and I was like, this dude is fucking unreal, you know, like was, again, I remember who the headliner was, but Pedro was better.

And like, and that didn't, that didn't often happen. I mean, I saw it a couple times, like with him and with Ricky. Stuart Huff was the feature the weekend I met him. And obviously he just, you know, blew the headliner out of the water that time too. But, like, that's, it still wasn't that common. Normally, in my experience, the headliner, you know, was better than the feature at size splitters. I were now thinking that I remembered Ricky featuring that weekend. When I was working with him.

And I'm now thinking Kendra Corey featured for him because, nope, that was Kevin Maney. It don't matter. All right. Corey, you met Ricky at the catch, didn't you, the comedy catch? Yeah, yeah, he was with Patrick, one of the first time I met him. Yeah, then they tour together a lot together now. Yeah, I met them both at the same time, and they let me hang out in the comedy condo with him. and then they got me so high that I vomited, and that never happened to me before.

I had to stay at the comedy condo, and I hadn't even drank a drop. I was literally just too high. I was vomiting, and I was shivering, and Ricky was just like, yeah, it happens sometimes. See you, dude. You know, like, whatever. Dude, I just remember my Ricky story, and it was kind of similar to that. It was St. Patrick's Day weekend. It was Julie.

What's Julie's last name for? Julian Scoggins. Yeah, and he told me I don't usually feature, but I'll fucking feature for Julie. She was great, and it was awesome, but I was hosting. Brian got engaged, a friend of the podcast, Brian got engaged that weekend on St. Patrick's Day. We went to downtown Market Square and he asked his now wife to marry him. We got so fucked up. I passed out on a couch and somehow didn't have service where I passed out in my house.

So never woke up when the phone rang or whatever. Missed the first show entirely. Oh, wow. still drunk, came, got there, freaking out. Bridget, I knew was going to fire me forever. Didn't because Josh Phillips. Phillips had come to see Julie and he, you know, at the time was absolutely a better comedian than me anyways because Bridget was thrilled that she had a better show.

And I came in and I just reeked of booze and fear. And Ricky, like, calm me down. Gave me a breath, man. He's like, don't go fucking talk to her right now. You're still drunk. You smell like shit. and like basically taught me off the ledge so that I didn't lose my job. And it was all for not because Trey and I got fired via email like two months later.

But as a young comic, that was awesome. Yeah, well, I ain't there no more. So you're, yeah, road dog that for a while, you live out here now, don't you? I live out here now. Wait, were you in New York for a while also? No, I used to visit New York a lot. And then I lived in Chicago. We slept with a cat.

How long have you been? out here. That's right. I did stay with you in New York when you were like living in someone's living room. Yeah, and we slept with a cat. I remember that cat. Corey and I shared a pull-out bed in a living room. You've seen

me at various lows of my life. I have. It's so funny. I know, Trace. Shut the fuck up. There's been a lot of them. But most of the time it was the very, it was the same low for a very long time. She's seen me at specifically different lows. Different ones, yeah.

That New York low was the way, how's a big one? Well, the big low was I taught Corey into moving to New York because I thought he was going to kill himself. And then you got him into an even sadder place. Well, I didn't. Sure. I'll take that. That's me. Yeah, it turns out with your brain, it's not location, location.

location, location. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't matter. Yeah. I mean, that was a very hilarious and clever joke, Corey. But real estate actually did have a lot to do with your misery in New York, I feel. Without a doubt. Oh, it was so sad.

You were an hour into Queens. It wasn't like that was in Manhattan. You could get out and go to shows and see a cool restaurant. You lived two hours from all your fucking friends. Your commute home was miserable, and then you got to a pull-out couch with a cat that I'm all your shit. Also, I swear to God, I'm not even saying this for comedic effect. I would say that two, I don't know, let's see, four out of every 10 subway rides back to my house, I ended up in Jamaica because I passed out drunk on the fucking train.

I was going to ask you, I thought you'd only done it like once, but I knew it happened at least one time. It happened a lot. Yeah. Dude, one time I fucking rode out to Coney Island on accident, drunk as fuck. Yeah. That ain't it. That ain't even, no matter where the fuck you are, you ain't supposed to be here, Tony Island.

I did that in Australia one time. And thank God it was an English speaking country I was in, because you talk about like disoriented, you know, drunk, looking up, everything looks weird. No fucking clue where I was. I was on a bus. I never come to on a bus before. You ever come on a bus, though? A caboose, the first blowjob I ever got was on the back of a caboose. Not for real, I did, though.

You did what? I came on a caboose, like a train caboose. Oh. That was the first blowjob. Yeah, no, I came on it. The first blowjob I ever got was on the back of a boat. You were on the train itself? Yes.

You were in the train with a woman. No, I pulled my dick out and came on the train. You came on to a parked train. You left your load onto a train. Let me give a George Carlin joke about this for me, please. What did you say? Write a George Carlin joke about this for me, please. Okay.

I came on a train. I came around a train. I'm about to make it better, actually. So first off, I was a sophomore and high. school, so 15, so technically this is, I guess, fine either way. And also statute of limitations. It was a caboose that had been taken off of the train and placed in the middle of a playground. And I was, it was at our school.

And it was also our, it was the PE teachers. His, um, his office was in that caboose. And, uh, it was late at night. And this girl, she blew me is my first. He tells a story. Chickamauga gets weirder and weird. To review. The PDJ office was on a train.

A caboose. In the playground. At the school. Is this a mad list that you're reading? I know. Like you said, every fucking chickamauga story, Corey tells,

it's like a goddamn meth madly. Like, every time, they're never, like, you'd think we'd be used to it by now, but every single time I feel like, are you fucking kidding me?

So anyway, and they just like, don't come in my mouth. Like, all right, I'll come on the tree. I mean, I'll be honest with you.

I believe the rest of, of it's pretty self-executive story. But this girl, it was the first blow job I've ever got. She was a blow-in-me, and then I was, she's like, tell me when you're, you know, tell me when you're going to come, because I'd rather you not do that. That's not how she said it, even at all. But like, she's like, tell me when. And so I did, and she pulled out and she started jerking me off.

And I just pointed towards the caboose, and I came all over the side of the caboose. And it hit for me. So you were outside. Yeah, I was outside. Yeah, I was outside. outside in the open on a playground. Night time, right? Night time, yeah.

On a caboose, the gazebo of transportation. I came on a church once. I came in a church. Nice. See, people always talk about women having penis envy. It's not penis envy. It's coming on thing envy. Yeah.

I want to come on some shit. You know what I mean? I've seen some squatters fucking come on everything. I was about to. to bring that up. No, they're pissing on everything. No, I know. Yes, but the first time I saw one of those headlines, like, oh, it's just pee or whatever,

I was like, there's got to be a bunch of women just out there right now. Be like, don't fucking tell them. I'm not pissing in their mouth. I'm just trying to piss on some stuff. Yeah, dude, I've had plenty of girls piss on my face, apparently, and I didn't learn it until Drew sent me a goddamn article. That one wasn't me because I was trying to keep that one secret. That's why I don't read.

That's why he don't read. That's why every single time I read, I'm like, I'm like, poor poster don't read. Somebody. Can we quote you on that? I'm all for burning these books.

I've definitely come in a church a lot. I don't know if I've come on one. I mean, on a pew. Yeah. No, the outside of it. No.

I remember one time my buddy Jared, but he's getting jacked off in, in the middle of the church service one time. You remember that? You remember when you're both? Well, yeah, because it was church, you know, so kind of a flashbulb deal. And, man, I looked, somebody poked me. It was Robbie.

Robbie poked me. He's like, hey, man, I'm pretty sure that Hannah's over there Jack and Jared Hatcher off. And I was like, no shit. And I looked over there. And it's like, as soon as I looked over there, he knew that I was about to look over there. And he turned his head and just started fucking, like, smiling at me, like, Ralphie right before he beats the shit out of that bully in, uh, in Christmas story. And it was fucking hilarious.

He was, dude. She was totally just fucking giving him elbow, man. It was great. So, Carmen. You were talking about how tough it is to be a woman in comedy. Yeah. And then we started talking about coming on stuff. Which is one of y'all's throat.

But anyway, back to your experience or whatever. I'm sorry. Well, you. Well, where do we go from here? How long have you been in L. Like two and a half years. That's about how long I've been here, like two years and three months, something like that. How did that eventually ultimately happen?

Like, you were on the road basically that whole time before that, right? At what point did you decide to make that particular leap or whatever? Well, because everybody was always like you had to go from one city or the other two. So when I was on the road, I was like, I don't want to die in obscurity. But at the time, I'd been on the road. again for like six years and I hadn't had any financial responsibility because I didn't have anything. The only thing I had to worry about was my phone and my car insurance. So then I was like, I need to be able to. And either one of those cities is like a massive leap in terms of financial

responsibility. Exactly. So I was like, I needed a place. Yeah. It takes. It was terrifying. And I just saw my friend Corey Forster living in squalor and I was like, God damn. I don't want to I don't want to live in someone's living room. Lori has been some of the people's cautionary tale. Yeah, man. I stay living in squalor. Now you're just living in beef broth or whatever you got going on over there. I had a yard.

I was married with roommates in New York, but I had a yard. So, yeah. So then I was like, I need some financial responsibility before I moved to one of these bigger cities because I hadn't had any. I was like, I got to, you know, force myself to grow up a little bit. So I just picked Chicago because within six hours I could work like 40 something weeks. Yeah. You know, so it was like it was a good.

So I found a place where I could, you know, 500 bucks a month. And I, you know, and then I did and I did that. I had this financial responsibility. And so then I did that for two years. And then I was dating this poser at the time. And he, he was, I was 50, 50. Don't tell us the name, but a comic. Oh, yeah.

I love. that you used that word because he was. He's fake. More than literally anything to a comedian. Like there's no word that would hurt him more, I think. Well, he was. He was one of those dudes that was like, he was like, oh, you know, punk rock, blah, blah, blah. But he was like, he came from like an upper middle class family and didn't have any real trauma in his life and shit.

So he was just fucking fake, you know? And, you know, and you don't realize that when you're in it, too. And I had just gotten out of a real shitty. relationship too so it was like like a rebound type of deal and man you'll take anything you'll take anything in your life right cori you made to tell me the relationship you had while you were living in a saturn didn't work out what was it was it you or him car it was both it was quite it was quite a shitty he had just gotten out of an engagement and so like we were both and we were just both yeah the first few noises of saturn is

I'm sadder. And I went to add. I've saturned my boy. I've saturned my boy. I said near. So we made the great decision. Like, we toured out, because I didn't have any money to move anywhere. So I was like, well, I'll just tour for nine months.

And I made 10 grand because, again, no overhead. And then we moved out here together in a studio apartment in, like, Westlake. And we're horrible, horrible neighborhood. The only reason we got the apartment we got was because I spoke Spanish. Like the landlord, like the chick that was managing the property, didn't want any white people in there. She wanted only like Hispanic people in there. So I got us the place four months in. He starts banging this fucking like Russian improv actress that lives in Vegas.

So then I find out from her because I'm very manipulative and easy to get information out of people. I find that out. And then that night I called him and I was like, all your shit needs to be the fuck out. Like you have to be out. Oh, yeah. God damn, that's awesome. Yeah. And then she still wanted to be my friend.

Impropped people. Even Russian improv people are the worst? God, damn. It was one of those things like where I wasn't going to be mad at her because some dude was trying to fuck her. And she was like, fine, I'm drunk, whatever. You know what I mean? It was him.

It was him being assigned. No, absolutely. We're not blaming her. I'm 100%. Right, right, right. The move there is to just never talk to you again. chicks for them. Dudes are the same way.

I know. It doesn't make any sense. No. Yeah. Be mad at him. Yeah, exactly. I agree with that. But the move for her was to just leave your life forever when she fed.

You know what I mean? Like, you're not to blame. She also didn't know. She also didn't know. That's how fucking, that's how manipulative I was is she had no idea. She left here not knowing. Not knowing what? Not knowing what was about to happen.

She didn't know that we were still together. She didn't know that we were still living in the same fucking, like, studio apartment together. He had lied to him. Yeah, yeah. So then I called him and I was like, get all your shit out. And then he was still trying to like negotiate shit. I lost my fucking mind, dude.

I lost my mind. I threw a coffee pot at him. I threw his own guitar at him. I had all of his shit in black. Yeah, he was one of those posers that would try to show up. Yeah. I would think he fucked the Russians. What?

Nothing. I love you. You said you love that he fucked a Russian? No, he said he played guitar. And I said, yeah, how else do you think? think he got to fuck a Russian. I still don't. I don't know.

She was an improv actor. He was a lot of prayer charts or something. Yeah, he just didn't rape her. That's the standard for women in improv. You're not a rapist? I'm in Russia. Yeah. So

you get too much for this podcast. No, no. No, it's hilarious. When we're done here, I want to talk about what Russia an improv has in common. You'll wish you were dead and both. There's a lot of rules, Drew. Just say yes and smile. So I lost my goddamn mind and then he kept trying to like, and I was like, I'm serious, dude, if you don't fucking leave.

Like, I'm going to beat you up, basically. And so I had all of his shit in black trash bags within an hour and a half of me being home. I had everything in that apartment. So there was no, we had never, never, I made him delete every photograph. he ever had him in his phone, every communication we ever had. I was like, you're never going to be in my life in any way, shape, or form forever. And he still isn't. I was about to ask if that had been, if that had held.

Yeah. True. I'm proud of you. But it would have been hilarious if you'd be like, no, no, we fucked like a week later. Yeah. Because I'm still, I still come from crazy. So it's still there. It just, it doesn't get.

I try really hard to not have it be activated. Well, what you just described was not crazy at all. I felt crazy because I was on... Like throwing a pot maybe a little bit. There was coffee in it. I threw a full coffee pot at that piece of it. Get it, girl. The thing was so, you know, it sounded like almost necessary.

Like you had a plan and you were following through. I guess crazy people don't know. I don't know if you heard about New Zealand, but that man had a plan too. It was still crazy. That's just first degree, ain't it? Yeah. So, are you still in that? So anyway, so then he left.

And then I had a friend of mine happen to be moving here from Chicago herself. And then so her and I, I'd always want to live in a bunk bed with someone because I never had like my sister was like 12 years older than me. So she's more like my aunt sister, you know. So I always wanted to have that kind of like I was trying to relive a child that I didn't have. So her and I lived in bunk beds for like the rest of my lease for like another eight months. And a very funny comedian. Her name's Laura Bites. He's very funny.

And then after that, you know, then I was just kind of. Los Angeles is weird. You usually move around until you find your place, and I finally found my place a year and a half later. Which is where? Right now I live in someone's guest house, which is like winning the Los Angeles lottery. You know what I mean?

Oh, I thought you meant a place like a neighborhood, though. That's what I thought you meant to. Oh, no, no, no. I just mean like a good living situation. Each person out here or whatever. Because even after the bunk bed situation, which was, you know, you can only live with someone in a bunk with,

in a bunk bed that close is to grow human beings that aren't fucking. You can only do that for so long, you know. And then so after that I was like renting a room and there was like this dementia ridden pill popping Mexican lady that had like illegals living there too. So we didn't have a lease. So she would just like like fucked up come into my home my room and be like, I think you should pay more rent next month. And I was like that's not how this shit works, bitch. Like you don't have no paperwork.

Would the DJ recommend her to you too? It does sound like a DJ hookup, doesn't it? No, buddy, you got a big closet over. Here you. These dogs are a lot fun. We've told her in here before, but briefly, Trey, tell her the story of when DJ was out here and you came to visit him where he was living in the bikes and all that. He lived in Watts, right? And he had roommates, one of which was like a, like a 19-year-old dude, a Hispanic kid, you know, who didn't speak any English at all.

and then a like 45-year-old Sri Lankan lady who also barely spoke English and DJ. That was the roommates, right? The Sri Lankan woman was in love with Trey and would openly hit on him in front of his wife. My wife was with me and DJ, I am certain this is not her name, but DJ called her Shri-Sri. Oh my God. Like with her, you know, like, it's Shri-Sri-Sri-Sri-S-S-R-S-T-R-Y, you know, whatever. I'm like, anyway,

you sit there and just like fucking rub on me and stuff. And like, it was wild. But we were outside, uh, drinking and it was me and him and, uh, Dave Waite and Tushar Singh and my wife and DJ's roommates.

And while we were out there, uh, just like on the stoop drinking, you know, uh, two by fours or whatever. This other Hispanic kid, probably a little younger than the roommate.

So probably like 15 or, something just and also didn't speak English just comes up with a bicycle that's like broken like the chains like broken on it and just like hands it to DJ and DJ just like starts fixing it or whatever and I was like I was like what just happened he was like I don't know man everybody thinks I can fix shit around here for some reason I was like because you're a redneck or whatever yeah right he just like oh let's give it to that fucking the hill you get you the tattooed guy that talks funny he'll figure it out and he uh and yeah he did He fixed it.

And his next door neighbors, one of them, like, OD'd while we were out there too. Like, the ambulance showed up and everything. And, like, it was just, this was all in the span of, like, an hour and a half or something. So, like you said, you move out here, you have to find your place. Yeah. You feel it at home. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm getting molested by Sri Lankan lady. People are OD. Yeah. Kids bringing DJ stolen bikes to fix or whatever. And DJ is so fucking tremendous. You know, DJ was in his element. He was just totally comfortable all the time. I have a neighbor named Jose, and he is the most redneck uncle.

Like, there's piles of stoves and refrigerators and all kinds of shit in his yard that you can tell. Appliance Graveyard's, yep. And then sell, but he just didn't get around to it. I mean, that's how hoarding happens a lot of times. So I'm just, it looks like that. But I'm walking my dog the other day. He's out there just drinking beer. He's pretending to weed his, like, flower bed.

But you can tell he just didn't want to be around his wife that day. The old tinkering in the garage trick. It still works. So we start talking. And whatever, literally an hour later, my car battery dies. And I'm like, you know who's going to have jumper cables? This is my man, Jose. And I go there and tell me this ain't an uncle moved from the south.

He's about 45, 50, right? Like he's got his belt, his guts hanging over it. He's sitting there drinking his beer on the weekend. He's his off day. He's a welder. I already knew that. And I go, hey, Jose. You have a set of jumper cables?

And he goes, no. And it's like that. And I go, and he goes, With your choice of select sandwich, nugs, fries, and a drink, Wendy's $5 biggie bag is your go-to. Your Nugged Wingman. You're hot and crispy fry co-pilot. Just like us.

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Spag boys, bag boys. U.S. price and participation may vary. Includes choice of double-staffed JBC or crispy chicken sandwich with four piece nugs, junior fry, and small soft drink. Third-party delivery pricing may be higher. I got a battery charger. I was like, why do you hope with that, man?

You just let me say his sweat. That's a classic, yeah, that's classic uncle move. Well, it's also the uncle the way, we've talked about this before the way I got treated by all my own, by my, by all my uncles. It's like, you know, I'm the kid who liked to read. Right. They make fun of me anytime I have. I had to come and let him work on my car.

Yeah, buddy. Well, except my uncle was gay and, you know, baked Kish and didn't have jumper cables on him. It was not that experience. But Thompson's dad, probably. No, he was old Tommy Chong sounding a hippie guy or whatever. But there was plenty of your uncles around who were very, you know, my uncle bubbles, for example. Like, wait, what you mean you can't fix your car? I thought you was the smart one.

What was that? Well, don't you read a book on it there, Drew? Like they got car books. So how you like it? I like it now. I haven't had like, I've had a very unique experience. Like a lot of people, aside from the weird living situations and stuff like that, like this city has been pretty nice to me as far as like industry and stuff like that go.

But I think it's because I moved out here because I worked the road for so long, I knew so many people, you know? that was like one of the brilliant things that Ricky taught me is like there there is an art to hanging out and like and I'm good at it and you got to hang out here. And so and I've figured out a way to do it where it doesn't make me want to kill myself at the end of it. You know what I mean? Can we leach off you? Absolutely. I think it's funny. I'm our friend. I don't mind.

We've both been doing that with Corey for a long time. Yeah, me and Drew are not great at hanging out. I'm pretty good at. Corey's great at it. I'm better than you and I'm surprised. We'll stop talking about him like he's not here. Corey. I mean,

that was how Corey and I resonated with each other's because it's like two good hangar-outers were hanging out. That was a great thing about DJ's. DJ was amazing at hanging out. He was insane. Such a good time. It was like, yeah. Yeah, whatever you say, dude.

You, everyone gets a little better when they drink, but I get way better, but that's dangerous. And I ran into that New York. Especially here, too, because you have to drive everywhere, too. I ran into that New York before Corey got up there where it was like, no, I was, everybody was starting to like me. But I've been drunk the last four fucking nights. Yeah. I'm out of money.

Guys, I don't know for sure. We're going to have to pause. I don't think we've been recording. Dude, I saw you over there looking upset and worried. It says recording on my thing. I mean, I know he attempted. Well, Corey, I'm looking at the H6 thing that they have here. Uh-huh.

So you'll still have the download from the call because the call is recording. So I think the H6 recording. I saw you over there looking at that in fear and I knew that's what you were going to say. As long as it's still recorded on this thing, we're fine. Yeah, because I had checked the time on it earlier and it looks completely different. This is my level of expertise. It don't look like it did earlier. No, buddy.

What do you hear you? I think something's bad happening. I don't like different. No, my head. same hits. Same hits. We've been sying it. We've been sying it.

But yeah. So that's been not the whole is like my whole experience is always been very lone wolf. And it's all because of being out like on the road by myself. And people are always like, oh my God. You were you to go with anybody? And I'm like, no. And that's what it's like, it's not always as scary as everybody says it is. Like I'm so tired.

A bitch is telling me how scared I am all the time when I'm not. You know what I mean? Scary like for a woman? Yeah. Like it's just so scary for a woman on the road. Are you not afraid of the void? Like how do you spend time with just yourself? What's that like?

Well, I'm entertaining as fuck. You know what I mean? It's just like you. You have to leave the hotel room first of all. You have to leave the hotel room in Australia. Yes, exactly. You got to leave. Well, that's the thing is I'm an extrovert.

Yeah. Well, it's also a sad den if you just sit there. there with your own thoughts. You got to go distract yourself. So it's one of those things. Like, I love old shit. So I'll go to antique stores and tinker around and make old dolls talk to each other and be a child. Like, that's the whole thing is like, like I read this old Eric Begosian book, which was pounding nails into the floorboards with your forehead or something like that. And he had this really great piece where he was talking about being in touch with your inner child and making sure you don't kill it. So since high school, I've always been trying to,

to keep that thing alive. Yeah. Keep that part of you because we people do die and then you do become too cynical and it does ruin your psyche and like how you view the world and stuff like that. So it's always like like I just recently went and saw the super bloom. You know what I mean? And it was just like, oh my God, like excited about flowers. Now how stupid that sounds.

I know how dumb it sounds. You know, but it's just like it's just I'm allowing stupid simple things. to give me joy. You're talking to the king right here, buddy. My new trick is to try to turn my cynicism into allowing me to have a good time. The flowers is a perfect fucking example. My wife was like, let's go see these flowers.

And I was like, you know, in my head, we're going to drive, set in traffic. But then I thought, how shitty of a person get is mad at flowers? And like, you know, everything is going to say. I'm like, fuck people who hate flowers. And that was like my new person. I fucking love flowers. What are y'all talking about? Super bloom.

Super bloom. That's something out here? I've never heard of this. Okay. We had a significant more amount of rain this year. Right. In Southern California. Yeah.

And because of that, because the desert was like submerged in water for the first time in years, there is an exponential amount of flowers that are blooming in, like wildflowers that are happening right now. In like a specific area or just like all? In Southern California. There's poppy's feet. poppy fields, there's all different kinds of flowers that are blooming. And because of that, like last year, we had a record amount of, a low amount of butterflies that migrate. And this year, there was like over a billion.

So it went from record low to record high in one year. Like they thought the butterflies were going to be extinct last year because so few of them migrated. And then this year, there was a super swarm. Like two weeks ago. You could see that in your neighborhood. Yeah, two weeks ago here in California, if you would have went to a park or something, It was like, it was like the plague. But instead of locust, it was fucking butterflies.

It was crazy, you know? And I will say, if anyone out there listening to that and you're like, wait a minute, I've seen these pictures of the poppies, why the fuck haven't I seen the plague of butterflies? And maybe where you were, it was different. Where I was, like, in my neighborhood, it was an unbelievable amount. Eddie Pepitone has a video of the butterflies being like swarming. Well, in my neighborhood, it was like three butterflies every two seconds all day, which, is an insane amount of butterflies, but it didn't look as overwhelming as the poppy pictures.

Right, right, right, right. Is that all over now? The poppies aren't over. The butterflies. Where do you go to the? It's in Lake Ellsnor. That's one place, but they closed it down, but we went outside of a land. Because people were being said, because Instagram whores were ruining this fucking nonsense.

They were going there with photographers and trying to, you know, show their tits off among a bunch of flowers and then trampling all over said flowers. You know what I mean? It was fucking wrong. Ruined it. I was so mad. Outside of Lancaster's Poppy Preserve that there was a lot of people there when Annie and I went, but we got in pretty quickly. Everyone was being respectful.

There were these two young women doing that, and like 14 people were yelling at them. I thought an old man was going to get into a situation where he beat the other flowers. Oh, let me see the butterfly. Look at all these are all the butterflies. Okay, see, that's not what I had in my neighborhood. Nevermind. That's flanks. Hey, Carmen.

Yes, baby. Oh, I had my thing muted because I had to pee-pee. So the disdain with which you said, Instagram whores made me laugh very hard, but you didn't get to hear it because I was peeping. So I just want to let you know. You live in the Instagram horror capital of the world. No, and I get that. And I'm not knocking you doing that. You make your money however the fuck you want to make it.

But don't be trampling the flowers so people can't fucking look at them anymore. Don't be a dick about it. You know what I mean? because that's the other thing too is I went and I walked all through those mountains and I didn't trip on one fucking flower. And I still got cool pictures and still did all that shit, you know? It wasn't. And I also, I'm bitching about that, but I was also a complete asshole because I brought my boyfriend right now who has so many fucking allergies. And I was like, come see the flowers with me.

And now he's been in bed for two days. Just swollen ass eyes. You look so happy in your picture with the poppies. That also, like I'm telling you, I try. I killed my inner child. a long time ago. But I'm trying to bring him back the life. Right.

Yeah. Resurrect that motherfucker. Do it. Because that's the thing, too, is a lot of times people allow, and it's because it's fun to be cynical and because the internet is super rewarding of cynicism, that a lot of times, I think that's why people are so fucking sad is they think cynicism is a personality. Actual things happen to me, but I know those people exist too. Well, no.

Actual things have happened to me. I check all of the boxes. And that's what I'm saying is you can be a victim. you have been victimized and not live your life as a victim. You can't do that. You'll be miserable and you'll probably fucking kill yourself. Well, I mean, also, you might get something out of it now because, like, being a victim is like, it's in right now. I don't know if you've heard, but it's really, it's really hot right now to be a victim.

And it's like, but to be whiny about it. And that's not how I live my life because it's a breeding ground for depression and for you to self-hatred and stuff like that. Well, that was me. I don't think I've ever been much of a whiner. I'm more of a hate and everything, including myself. Sure. It's just, it's exhausting. It takes so much fucking energy, right?

To hate everything? It's easier to have fun. It's easier to have fun. And it's more rewarding to have fun. I've always been now, like, you can't truly kill my show. What the fuck are you laughing at? The podcast is not the medium to express for trade. God damn what a face he just made.

It was so sad. It was the core of the, It was the face of, that all sounds really nice. I wish I could have to keep it. Yeah. I was one of those, like, my mom and everybody else has always said that I was, I never was a child. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I was one of those kids that never acted like a kid.

You mean your mom said that in court to the judge? Right. Yeah, right. I don't know what it is with him. Your Honor, I don't know what's up with this little piece of shit. Yeah, right. What do you mean abandonment, Your Honor? He's never been a child.

child. He's been taking care of me since he was five. But I think that was another. He'd whip his ass for you. But I think that was another thing that like Corey and I also connected on as far as like being friendships was like is the little kid inside of me met the little kid of Corey and we're like, oh, we're going to play. He's definitely, yeah.

Oh, I'm a child with him, frankly. Yeah, I was about to say, I think there's a little. Without that. That's the thing, Corries, you got plenty of self-hatred. So do I. But it's just checking that self and telling yourself, even though you hate yourself, that I'm allowed to have fun.

I'm allowed to be cheesy. And it's like that whole, that too cool for school for everything, then nothing is cool. And then you're never happy with anything. Right. No, I agree with you. I feel like I hate the too cool for school thing more than, you know what I mean? Like that's like what I hate most about myself. So it's like I'm trying to turn my cynicism into some positivity where I'm like,

I fucking hate that shit so much. I'm not going to do it anymore. Exactly. I'll be happy to spite myself. Yeah. Do it for spite. Dude, I've done it for spite and it works.

I mean, I don't know about you, Trey, you're kind of, no, I'm in the middle. I'm in the middle. I'm in the middle of doing that right now.

We've talked for years about how like, spite and hate and stuff is like one of my primary motivators. Yeah. It's like, even like a lot of like progressive liberal shit or whatever, a whole lot of it. I do believe it all, but a lot of it like at least originates with,

me just hating the dumbass motherfuckers I know who were on the other side of that. They weren't representing you. Right. Like that, yeah, the people that, you know. And that's what I'm saying. Like this whole, this, this, this is a disgusting term, but this victim culture doesn't fucking represent me, you know, as a person who's been victimized, I'm not going to, you're not going to tell me that I live in fear.

You're not going to tell me that this is how, how all victims are. Go fuck yourself. I have created a life. of myself because I overcame adversity, which is the story of any goddamn hero. Any person in any fucking story has awful things happen to them, and they don't wallow and drown in the sadness of the things that happen. They fucking, that's the real bravery is you overcome something fucked up. I mean, yeah.

Hell yeah. I'm sorry. I did not me to have. No, no, no. No, that was fucking great. I didn't mean I said you were a hero. I just,

that's where a lot of my rage. I'm not, I'm not trying to call myself a hero. Did you just kill yourself? No. No. That was the funny. I don't.

I mean, it just heard. I've been like, oh God, it ain't me. Can I tell you what I was really trying to do? So, because I don't have an actual microphone,

it's harder. I was trying to get up and squat over my computer and fart into it. And I dropped my phone. You should have just did it with your mouth. No, but that ain't it. No, that was pretty solid. You might have called him a poser.

No one of upset him. Well, we need to at least start wrapping it up, I think, because we got to get out of here. Sorry. That was the Christian. That's right. And that's the whole thing is I'm not, like, I don't mean for it to sound like I'm tooting my own horn and shit like that, but I figured out something that. that works, you know?

And you, and like, it's like these people who like try, like, they try to like wear being a victim as a badge, you know what I mean? And it's just, it's constant like self-read. And it's like, man, that's not how you, that's not how you over. That's not brave. Admitting the fact that you were a victim to me isn't brave, you know? It's what you do after that. Like, do you stay in that mindset?

Do you try really hard? Do you work on yourself and try to. get yourself out of that mentality of like where you still deserve good things and you still deserve to be happy and all that that's all the real bravery shit you know it isn't the fact that bad shit happened to me that that defines what I am as a human being I mean I absolutely agree with that plus I'm terrified to disagree with you right now you're right I'm also abusive so does that help everybody you said something though that I thought was really really cool you said that it works for me. One thing I've realized with my own, like, cynical anger is it worked for me

a little while. I had this anger and this self-hate and like it- Again, it motivated. It motivated me and it got me through some shit. But like, like, come on, I'm 34. It's going to turn to bitterness soon and that's disgusting. So I'm going to go see the poppies. Well, I think we also, because we're creatives, I think it's also different because, I mean, spite and hatred and things I don't like. My entire podcast is we talk about things that we don't like. It gets us riled up. Things that get us mad even from pet peeves to big shit like pedophilia. That makes me mad.

Like all those things. We talk about all those things. And it's just because for some reason, we like to try to deny the fact that we're like half negative. You know what I mean? It's always good vibes only. I'm a positive person. It's like, no, you're suppressing a part of your personality that needs to be addressed. It's okay to be sad.

Why is it so bad? Why is everybody trying so hard to be so happy all the time? That's why you're really depressed is because you're lying to yourself. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to grieve about silly shit. You know what I mean? It's okay for you to have all of those feelings.

It's okay to be angry because all anger is is a secondary, like, feeling to sadness. Right. You know what I mean? The base of whatever you're angry about is a sadness or a self-criticism, you know? There's both. Yeah. You know, so it's just, I do know. And I'm saying I think I spit some time there and I needed to.

But now I'm like, I need a new thing. So it's also like I had there's another great road comedian that I absolutely love. His name was Ian Gatowski and he was. I love Ian. I talked to him yesterday. Me too. Ian's amazing. Eaton is so great.

And he was one of those dudes that taught me how to not be sad on the road. He goes, you have to. reward yourself because what you're doing is hard. A lot of people won't be able to do what you're doing and you have to reward yourself. So he's like, if you had a rough weekend, fucking take yourself out and get yourself a steak dinner, buy yourself a little something, whatever, whatever your budget can allot you, do something that makes you feel good. You know what I mean?

Go to a massage parlor. Get your fucking little H.J. Little fucking ribbon on the end of it. Whatever it is, it makes you feel good. You know what I'm saying? You treat yourself. And then when you do it, you go, I deserve, whatever it is that you decided that you want to do, I deserve for this good thing

to happen to me because of whatever it is that I'm doing. Right. Well, I think for me, the reason anger became dangerous and I had to get away from it or try to start is it became the reward in and of itself. Do you know what I mean? Because like how good it feels to be angry sometimes. And that's what I had to get out of, but we do need to wrap it up, I guess. For me, for me, I feel like we're like keeping at least some people here, like in the studio.

I mean, we might not be, but that's what, that's the only, if it wasn't for that, I just feel bad a lot, Tray. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I feel a lot of bad. I just, I take the weight of everybody, I, you know, I take everyone at some burdens on to my shoulders. Listen to this fucking piece of shit. Listen to this fucking piece of shit. It's what brings me down, Carmen. That's my pain.

So what you're saying is you're full of shit. You just have figured that out. Yeah. All right. It's been a banner day on the well-red podcast. Tell people how they can, you know, find you out there on the interwebs, your podcast, whatever. Sure. All of it.

All of it. All of it. Carmen Morales.com for all of your Carmen Morales needs. I'm not always on my soapbox. You guys just. You brought it out. I love you guys. I feel comfortable, you know.

I also have a podcast if you guys are lonely and don't, and you like a variety in your podcast obviously listen to this one. But it's called no sir. I don't like it. It's me and another comedian Brian Voki and we talk about shit we don't like. We have guests on. I would love to have you guys on if you guys ever want to do it. We could talk about shit you don't like.

So six hour podcast. And that's what's happened is we always like, we always like, oh, we got to wrap it up and like, because it's only like an hour long. And then people are like, oh, man, I went by really fast. Like, yeah. Yeah, you're letting it all out. Yeah. All that shit you've been really upset about that you haven't wanted to tell

anybody about. We just rift about and had a good time. And now you vented it out and you feel better. That's my favorite thing about doing bits about stuff that pisses me on is people are like, oh, you really got a thing you're trying to get people to agree with you. I'm like, sure, but mostly, do you know how good it feels to say that and you hear people laugh? Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? That's why it's, I don't have time to get into it. But yeah, that's why I don't try to fucking censor me because you don't know what I've been through and you don't know how good this makes me feel. Right.

So, yeah, so Carmen Morales. Follow me on all the assorted social media at the funny Carmen. And I'm usually way sillier than it was today. And I apologize, this wasn't funny. Oh,

you were phenomenal. You're getting me. It was great. And yeah, well, you know, we're going to have you back on for too long. Because,

I mean, I feel like this is a therapy session now. It's almost like by the end of it. Like, we're just now starting to get into some shit. I need to keep talking to her. I know. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I mean. podcast or not. I'm here. That's the other thing, too, is I like to help, you know, and that's why a lot of sad people, for some reason, gravitate towards me. She cooked some spaghetti squash. And that's right. And there were plenty of times when I saw Corey, when he was, again, at some of those lowest

points. And did we not still have a fucking amazing time? A blast. Yeah. You can still have a good time, even though you're sad. Oh, we know that much. Thank you so much, Carmen. Thanks for having me, guys.

Let's do it again. All right. Thank you all. See you next time. Bye. You looked so cute and you did that too. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go.

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