wellRED podcast - #12 - Dragons, Racism, and British Ravens

Episode Date: April 26, 2017

This week the boys sit down in Bethleham, PA before a show to discuss their theories on Dragons, systemic racism in sports, Ravens who get discharged from the British Army, and of course, what they shoved in their fat faces this week.  Share, subscribe, leave us a review, and tell ya friends! wellREDcomedy.com for tour dates, merch, and our book The Liberal Redneck Manifesto! Come see us, y'all!!! 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the well well well well well. Well hey hey hi hi hi hi hi there everybody we're here we are where are we're in Bethlehem we've been calling at Bethlehem, and we were told last night that it's actually called Bethlehem by the people they live here, but he might have been fucking with us. They were fucking with us a lot last night. You know, now that you say that, I'm just kind of now thinking that they were 100. They had to be fucking with us. It's Bethlehem.

Well, I mean, I would buy that, though. There's all kinds of places that don't, that aren't pronounced the way they orp be. My hometown, Salina, that, you know, nobody's ever heard of it, but that word is almost universally pronounced Selena. everywhere else. But we pronounce it Salina. And right next door is the town spelled Lafayette, but it's pronounced Lafayette. Yeah, we got one of them.

Yeah, well, so I'm saying it wouldn't surprise me if it was Bethlehem. I guess you're right. What's that one in fucking Boston? Or it might shoot Worcester or something, but it looks like Worcester. It's Worcester like Worcester sauce, and everybody says Wooster. Wooster, right. That's how you say that, so. Yeah, but.

I don't know. And also, Wooster, Gloucester is up there too, and they say Gloucester. Then you got Houston and Houston. That's all from... That's two different people, though. That's Sam Houston and some other dude whose name was spelled different, and then they changed the spelling, but it really was apparently Houston. Oh, okay.

Also, that Gloucester... I looked it up, it made me mad. That Gloucester-Wuster shit, that comes from jolly old England, because they got a bunch of places like that, and that's how they pronounce... That's how that cester, you know, it's pronounced. It's just not pronounced, basically. Like, if it looks like Worcester, it's just... Worcester, Gloucester, Gloucester, England, it's just Gloucester.

You know, so why are we talking about, oh, yeah, we're in Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Bethlehem, we'll find out here in a few hours, so that's how it's pronounced or not. Well, they've got a song from growing up, oh, beautiful star of Bethlehem. Yeah, yeah, that's the different Bethlehem. I just, I'm saying, Jesus ain't never been in Pennsylvania. But my thing is like, but I'm saying, because of what America is, I would assume that since it's spelled the same, that's what they named it after. I'm sure it is what they named it after, but that don't matter. Lafayette is named after fucking what's his fuck Lafayette,

George Washington's boy, and his name is Lafayette, but it still ain't pronounced that way. George Washington had a son with a French name. No, not his boy. His boy, that was his dog. Oh, how'd you mean his kid? Lafayette, the fucking leader of the friend. No, I got it. Okay.

I thought he named his kid after some French dude that hit for him. Right. Well, I mean, he might have. I don't know. He might have a son. I also named Lafayette. Hey, Jacques. Go cut that fucking cherry tree down.

Anyway, I'm just saying, we'll find, I mean, it's undoubtedly the Bethlehem that they named it after, but I'm saying to me that don't mean that they pronounce it that same way. Jacques Washington. I want that to be the quarterback for the University of Tennessee. Well, all right, guys. Interesting start to the podcast. Yeah, I fucking thought so, Corey. Cut the sarcasm. I wasn't sarcastic.

I thought it was interesting. You did not. So. Good. We had an interesting conversation on the way up here. You're going to roll your eyes at this, Drew, because you thought this was over, but it's never over with me.

Oh, shit, yeah. I know what this is. This is the dumb dragon thing? Yeah. Dumb-wise. I don't remember what brought it up, but Corey basically, he said, you know, if dragons have been real and had always existed,

basically we'd still be like fucking caveman right now. I said, what do you think? earth. No. I didn't say we'd still be caveman. I just said it'd be interesting if there was something that could fuck with us, how much different would it be? Y'all then made it seem like I thought, we'd just be, oh, we goga, bugger, bugger. Like, that's not what I said.

You said to keep us in check because we wouldn't, and I said Yeah, keep us in check. Not that we'd still be caveman. This was the evolution of the conversation. You said to keep us in check, and I said, dude, put a dragon up against a fucking Apache and see how that. Dragons ain't shit. That's what I said. I want to be clear, we mean Apache

helicopter, everybody. Yeah. I fuck. But you probably find a badass enough Apache you take a dragon out too. Sure. Fucking Tomahawk, that big lizard bitch. What was that cartoon

by the dragon that had one weakness and they shot it with a bow and arrow when we was little? That wasn't a cartoon. That was the Dragon Heart with Sean Connery was the voice of that dragon. Oh, they made a cartoon about it too. You're right, they did make a cartoon after the

after the movie. They made a cartoon. No, this was before. I don't think so. I thought y'all were back. When I was a little kid, there was a cartoon. And it was like an old-ass cartoon. Oh, okay.

The cartoon I thought you were referring to was the Apache from the Justice League. You remember that that was a character in the Justice League? He would just, he was a Apache, and he'd just get real fucking big and just being Apache and fuck you up. There's people listening right now who think that they're on the wrong podcast. But I don't know. Usually they talk about fried chicken and politics, but I tune in, it was all D&D and Justice League stuff. Well, anyway, I said we would fucking drag it up. with our guns and stuff and you then said yeah but we wouldn't have all that shit if they had

always been around and whipping our asses so that's why i said to cavemen you didn't say literally we'd still be caveman but it was in that vein it was a similar argument i yeah i won't deny that part yeah and i am saying no you're wrong we'd still hit yeah but then it got got a little bit deeper than that because i eventually wasn't even having an argument it was between you motherfuckers and Well, that's because I agree with what Trey just said. But Trey also acted like you said it wouldn't be any different than lines. And I said, wait, hold up. Yeah, that is horseshit.

It would be a little different than lines if they was flying lizards that could breathe fire. Yeah, that's true. That's a little different than a line. A little bit. A little bit. But what I'm saying is I'm much more passionate yesterday. I'm fully confident that we would still be the apex predator and would have been this whole time.

So ultimately, I don't think it would have, dragons would have held us back that much. And we'd still whooped their asses and they'd be, like I said, you could take your fucking fat kid to go pet a dragon baby in fucking Cherokee, North Carolina or whatever, if there were dragons. Like, they'd be our bitches just like every other animal is our bitch.

You can't. They would. But I've never been anywhere where you could feed a line. Right. You could throw a base of meat into a cage. That'd be a bad at a... First of all, if you got enough money, you can like, kill and fuck a lion, so I'm sure you can feed them too.

I know, well, if you own them, you can feed them. You can own a dragon. Is that what you're saying? If you had enough money, hell yeah, you could own a dragon. We would have exterminated them is what I think. Yeah, we would have had to kill them a sort of dragon genocide. Like, lions was smart enough to stop coming around. Like you're saying, there's no way with, that's the other way of saying we couldn't

coexist with dragons. Like, yeah, you're right, we're better, but that just means we would have killed them all off because look, there was only room for one of us on this fucking rock, and I'm saying I don't buy that either. Well, here's what I'm saying is we exterminate predators until they're so far away from society. It don't matter anymore. Right.

But in my mind, these are flying lizards that fuck with our houses all the time, so that wasn't going to happen. They breathe fire. But if they learn to leave us alone, just like, you know, bears have, sure. There'd be some, like, in Canada. Maybe they still is. Not in Canada.

Dragons? Yeah, they'd be in like, Romania, I think. I mean, you're just trying to be funny, right? I thought, yeah, wait. Not funny. I'm more like a stoner thought, like, you know, how cool would that be? Right, but do you think there's dragons?

No. I kind of wish there was dragons. You just fuck me up for a second. What about Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot? Do y'all have any sort of like, maybe? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, because what is the lifespan on that fucking thing? Number one. Number two, every piece of. evidence they've ever had for Nessie, I believe, has since been pretty soundly debunked, which I don't think is necessarily

true for Bigfoot, but I don't know There ain't no evidence of Bigfoot except for there's that one video of that weird There's no real evidence of Nessie either. It's just old grainy pictures and some videos and shit of like weird looking waves. That's all meant by evidence. But I'm saying even those things people have said like

no, it was a hoax. We found the guy he admitted it. I know you know it. Corey, do you know Joe Zimmerman, great comedian we know from West Virginia's bit about... I was going to bring that up. Bigfoot? Nope. One of my favorite lines. He's talking about Dave Stone, ain't he?

Is that who he's talking about? I think he's talking about Dave Stone, who's another comedian from the South. I didn't know that. I might be wrong. I had to go back in the... Well, I'm not going to do that a bit. Y'all should go listen to him. My favorite line. It's Dave Stone.

He's talking about just his buddy who's super into big... He's a Bigfoot enthusiast, as Joe puts it. I think I know... I don't know it well enough to know all the... the lines and shit, but I think I've heard that. Well, y'all, if you're listening, go, go check it out. You know, I'm not going to do Joe's whole bit, of course. But my favorite line in there is, uh, one of the theories apparently in the bigfoot world is like, as, uh, you know, why haven't we ever found bigfoot bones?

And they say, well, we've never found bare bones. Yeah. And Joe points out that he has no idea if that's true in a very hilarious way. Right. Right. But my, one of my favorite lines, he goes, yeah, we, we haven't found bare bones. but we have found bears Yeah

Yeah Joe's hilarious Yeah he You know you should check him out Check up Dave Stone too Where you had is What are the What are y'all's favorite

Conspiracy theories Now I love all those Like They're entertaining to me But I don't subscribe to any of them But also I don't really call that A conspiracy theory What are we called that?

I don't know A legend It has a name Myth It's not paranormal What is it? It's crypto Cryptozoology is what they call that shit.

That's the bullshit term they made up for crazy people believe in crazy shit about chimocobras. Chupacabras. Yeah. Sam squatches and dragons and Nessie. Sam Squatch was a guy that used to own the junkyard back home. Yeah, cryptozoologies is what they call that. Are there any of those that are uncommon?

Uncommon. Yeah, but we probably can't name any of them. I figured you could. Because, first of all, you knew the word crypto zoo I would. Well, I mean, like, you probably got one in Morgan County, don't you? Oh, like local legends, huh? The one in Morgan County is this place where if you turn a car off, the car will start running again and a witch will murder you if you're trying to get laid on this road or something like that.

It's in a bunch of books. I don't remember. We got one. We got a pretty good one. It's fucked up. I mean, you can go ahead of it. Well, no, let me go because I'm certain I can't follow the chick of my one. I actually, no, that was what I was going to preface this with.

It's like, no, please let me go, because it's honestly not that fucking crazy. Ours is just called Green Eyes, and it's in the battlefield of Chickamauga. And right by this big tower, they basically, at night, if you go in and you yell, I don't know, there's some shit. Anyways, it's just two goddamn reflectors. But people still are like, oh, green eyes is real. Don't go out there at night. Does it have something to do with Ghost of the Civil War? Yeah, that's there's supposed to be there.

there's some general walking around and you can see his green eyes at night and so green eyes is a big that's the thing but it's again it ain't no big goddamn deal to me well this one honestly this is only even impressive to me

just because it's in like it's from where I'm from and most shit up there is not very thought out even at all but like there's an actual story behind it it's called and of course it's fucked up in a very stereotypically southern way

it's called Bloody Hill and it's this hill where when you go down the hill in a car and it's like a it's like a chip uh fucking chipped road uh you know chert tar and chip yeah yeah whatever used to be gravel when the county got a little bit of money tar and chip but not enough it's oil mixed with fucking gravel that shit a chipped road or whatever anyway it's a road like that's what the road is not dirt or anything you go down it your headlights on can't see nothing but going up it you see a trail of blood all the way, like in the middle of the road.

And, uh, and like I, I, I, some kind of fucking optical illusion or something like that. But I mean, I've been there and I've seen it and you can see it. Like, but the story, the story behind it is, and there's a, there's a plantation house right by there, right? Still to this day, we saw it too. Oh, shit. And the story goes that a slave ran away down. that hill got caught, stabbed a few times.

I'm not laughing at the fact that he got stabbed, just the mother. How raving this all is. Jesus. Yeah, and then got drug back up the hill and like haunts the area to this day. So it's a slave ghost out there. I love the idea that some poor person died a slave via stabbing and then they wanted to hang out in that area. Exactly.

And also they're a monster now. I don't know, man. It's actually not really the way that... But the optical illusion part's pretty easy to explain, right? Like, on the way up to hill, that's where the light bounces off the road. On the way down, the light can't bounce off the road. But if we all dumb? Also, I bet you...

We're all dumb up there. It probably is, I don't know. By the way, I don't even know that it's in Clay County. It's out in the middle of nowhere, but it's like within 30 minutes of where I grew up. To counterpoint that, I think there's probably plenty of people who died a slave that would love to hang around and terrify shitty white people. Yeah. You wouldn't want to do it maybe for eternity.

you got but like you know spend a couple of years old i thought it'd be awesome to make a low budget horror movie about that where it ends up the it's the slave owner's ghost is fucking killing everybody that was my big shaman twist like that wouldn't be immediately obvious you know like in my 17 year old never been out of the saline of mind it was like they'll never see the slave owner being the bad guy coming but anyway yeah that's one we've got up there that's the only one i can and like catfish size, their school bus size catfish below Dell Halladam. Oh, yeah,

we got that at Watts Bar, and everybody swears it's true. I believe that. The other one is the Diding Witches, and this is like not true, but based in reality. There were these three women of Diden Ladies, and there were more sisters.

There were a shitload of Diding Sisters, but three of them never got married. This was back in the day. And, I mean, you know how it is. Back in a day, when women didn't marry it, that's because they have witches. Right. they felt apparently.

But my friend Austin, they was his aunts. They're his like, great, great, great, great, great, great aunts. Them ladies was wicken. Like,

not that there's anything wrong with wicking, but the town was right that they was witches, just not evil. What time period was this again, though? I would say, in this wikening shit.

Round and turn of the century. Okay. Does I see, that freaks me out. I'm scared right now. And, you mean the 20th century, right?

It'd be funny if it was like, about 98, 99. Yeah, Y2K shit got a little while. The last one died, I reckon, like, supposedly, like, in the 60s. Because, I mean, you know, at that, she was the youngest one of them. You know, she was, like, 108 at the time. But Austin has all these tales of, like, freaky shit happening in that house

and how you go into the attic. And there's this part you can crawl into and there's stuff on the wall. But I feel like he probably made all that up. But there's this, there was this old tale of the middle. hookman wouldn't deliver to them once for some reason. I don't remember what happened. Maybe he said to his witches. Maybe it was winter. I don't remember. But

then his cows started producing blood the next day. That's wild. That is wild to shit. That's a big Morgan County folklore. The Diden Witches. Everybody knows about the Died and Witches. And what freaky about it to me is, it was real people. Like, people was related to her. And I was like, oh, yeah, the Died and Witches like, that wasn't

because my town's small. If you shed that downtown and ten people around, one of them was like, yeah, that's my aunt. Yeah. You know. Joey's mama's sister. Crazy as fuck. Yeah, man. She should be casting spells and shit.

It's really weird because, like, I'm not, I'm fairly firmly against religion, and I'm like, you know, most of that's just crazy talk. I certainly believe in the dark arts a little bit. Like, shit like that, I can, it's so hypocritical because, like, I'll hear somebody talk about, like, you know, Jesus, it's going to save your soul. And I'm like, get out of my face with that hokin' bullshit. Then you're like, yeah, this woman made a cow squirt blood out of its tetties. And I'm like, yeah, man, how on her?

How? My only one? Yeah. Okay. No, I'm into that. I mean, I don't think that lady could make, I don't think anybody. I'm into the idea of it. I don't believe that there's actual sorcerers out there. I do.

I do to an extent. Well, then dragons is extra fucked if I come back, Corey. Oh, that's perfect. All right. I do to a certain extent, man. But I don't think that them ladies could like, you know, prey an incantation and put some sticks on the ground and cows is producing blood.

but I do believe in like the idea of Wiccan in terms of and look I'm sure there's somebody who's Wiccan listen this and I'm about to fuck this up but just like in tune with because like when people like mix them up and they're like here take this and you'll feel better I believe there's people out there who know about that shit I just don't think it's magic I think it's just like fucking most people don't do it so it seems magic when one person knows how to do it like oh it was a spell and it's like no I mean it was just medicine that didn't come from a lab we've had this discussion before it's probably has the potential

open up and open up a whole can of worms here because let me tell you why that don't check out maybe there's one or two of those things but like every one of those things that works just became medicine sure well so like I'm saying like all the herbs and shit that's that's how medicine started and all of those things that are effective

they get turned into well not all of them first of all your imagination is so shitty well this he's also wrong i'm a hundred percent correct right now oh you're not you big dumb fucking idiot look it up well you're you're right about the medicines that we have but you're imagine that you're just shitty i don't know what you've made by that you don't want to believe in nothing you never want to believe in nothing i'm a realist you what's the word where you start with a conclusion and work your way backwards i'm done by now it's either a deductive or the other one you're you're doing it right now because what you're saying is we have all these

medicines that we can trace back to them, therefore look, see, they all became medicines. It's like, well, hold up. Some of them could have disappeared over time, and we would never know. But you can make money off medicine. Witches don't give a fuck about money? It ain't the witches that make the money. I'm saying, when that shit works, some fucking, you know, Ebenezer Scrooge type.

Evil lizard man. Yeah. Man, I feel like Farman was witchcraft for a solid thousand years in human history. Right. It was like, God damn, look at that. Something green is coming out to earth. That's kind of what I'm saying. I do think there are things that we have lost throughout time.

The tradition wasn't passed along. It went away, whatever, or it got replaced by something. That's another thing. Maybe some of these things went away because they were unnecessary. Right. Because we had something a little bit better or whatever. Yeah. And I think that's what kind of witchcraft is.

I don't mean to imply that they don't still also work. Like if they work, then they still work now. But what I mean is like if it claims to be something that we don't otherwise have an answer for, like, you know, this is a spell that will cure your cancer type shit. And that's an extreme example. But I'm saying like, no, that's bullshit. But if it's like, I'll rub this on your mosquito bite and it'll help it, baby doll. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, but like that works. So like a good. But then Burt figured out a way to use his bees to make that a thing that he could sell at a fucking CVS around. the cut. Birds a witch. Hell you. Witch, what's the witch's name?

That's the maddest I've ever seen you at me in my life, except for the Corn Nuts episode. That's like, you, like, it wasn't, I was playing around. You couldn't see his face, Drew, but I was like, I was like, you, you have such a shitty imagination. And normally when you, you call me a dumb, fat, big-headed fuck all the time, but usually there's at least a little whimsy in your eyes. He goes, you big, fat, dumb-headed fuck. Fuck, I've never seen you that mad in my life at anything.

You don't have an imagination. That's the scab. That's the wound, apparently. I figured it out, dude. I found out how to get under this motherfucker's skin. I have a vibrant and active imagination, Corey. I'm sure you do. I just also know about facts.

Andy, my wife, for those of you who don't know, we were talking the other day, I think there's something to this. This isn't 100% true, but there is something to this. You only argue with something that you either think might be or you are afraid, could be true. Who may? Anybody, a human being. Like, if somebody walked in and was like,

Trey, you're blue, you'd be like, I don't, what are you talking about? My point being is he said, you don't have an imagination, and you freaked out. No, no, no, here's the real reason I freaked out. Here we go. I don't, I don't,

and there's no different for you either, except you do it for sport. You argue with people for sport, right? I'm not saying I'm never wrong. I'm wrong a lot, but if I'm like arguing something, I've 100, 100, percent fully believe in my head that it's accurate and that I'm

correct. So his implication was like, that's the dumbest fucking thing I ever heard. When I knew what I was saying was true, that's not what. That's why I got so defensive about it. I just said you lack imagination. I just said you lack imagination because you never want to believe in anything. He like, oh,

lacks imagination. I think he said like. No. I don't believe in shit. There's no reason to believe in it. There's reason to believe in what that's, which is not what I was saying about him. You've always believed in me, baby. To believe. Anyway.

Someone like you. No, this is like this is, this goes back to that time. You big, fat, dumb piece of shit. There's a,

this is like that other time when you weren't there. Someone. I'm sorry. No. Go on. I want to hear it. No,

it don't matter. You're about to shit on me, aren't you? No, not. You weren't, you weren't helping me, but you weren't,

or you weren't hurting either. I hear you. That time... You sounded hurt. That time, I'm talking about a completely different time. See, we've lost everybody. It's because y'all's fault. This is how you treat me all the time.

No, it's not. Y'all don't hit. Fuck y'all. Go back to singing your stupid fucking song. All right. Look, I said, this is like that time that I made a... In a script about gods, I made a joke about Jesus being called Josh. and everybody there

Drew wasn't there. Drew wasn't there and you had been up for 48 hours or whatever. I do. Everybody else there was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Jesus's name was Jesus. I didn't say that shit.

I know you didn't. Okay. I'm saying this is like that time. Yeah. I knew for a fact that I knew what I was talking about. But they were, but they and all these people were. like you're wrong what you fucking and I got infuriated because I knew they were wrong. Hold on.

But the difference. And especially because it's about Jesus. You were right in that situation. There's literally. I know I'm right about what I said a minute ago too. No, you're not. First of all. How am I not? First of all, you said I was right. About the medicines that we have, I'm saying that you are discluding the possibility that there were things lost over time. No. What I'm saying is you don't, like you don't need that is my ultimate point. Like, you're not going to get anything from that. You can't get from actual fucking medicine. I'm going to give you example of why you're wrong. I'm going to give you an example of why you're wrong.

That's what I was trying to say. You're a fucking hippie, but go ahead. I'll give you a good example of that of hippie shit. Tumric. The medicine, the spice? Yes. Pits. It reduces inflation.

It reduces inflation and it helps with autoimmune and inflammatory diseases. The medical community. You said it reduces inflation. We have an economic wonder drug in the form of a spice. That's right. It reduces inflation. You put it out on the market. You put it out in the market instead of gold, a turmeric-based economy, Tray.

Everybody knows that. It reduces inflammation and it helps with autoimmune diseases and stuff related to inflation. I almost said it again. My point is the medical community has caught up. But like there was that gap in time until like the last 10 or 15 years where they hadn't. And so like is it, you know, it would be called, what am I? trying to say 40 years ago it would have been called witchcraft if your auntie who wears all black mixed something up for you and helped you with your disease you know what i'm saying helped you

with your inflammation issues and at that time the medical community couldn't help you that's all i'm saying okay but you're right it did catch up like when that hippie shit actually works the market goes wait a minute exactly but there's always it actually really does work right then it becomes an actual thing instead of rub these two fucking flowers together and fucking jack off for a while. So my two points were, or whatever. During those time periods before the market catches up, that's a time when you ain't right. And two, what if there are things out there like that that we have lost, that our, that a whole

culture died and we lost their shit or whatever from back in the day? Did I just get lawyered? I can't wait to, I can't wait to edit this podcast. I'm not, though. I'm saying if you drill down every facet of, think, why. I can't wait. I can't wait. Do you hear what he just said?

That's what I was about to say. When you drilled down to every fucking finite point of something that somebody said, yeah, you made me wrong, which is why I got loggered. I'm editing. The thing that, my ultimate point, the thing that I said, I was not wrong about. I'm editing all the parts out where Drew just admitted that you may have brought a little bit. And right as soon as you say, did I just get lawyered? I'm putting Big Sean last night I took an ale right there. Just that one little clip.

And then that's going to be the teaser for the whole thing. took L number one. Since we've been recording this podcast, not one. You just took an L. Everyone listening knows you took an L, and if you stick with the notion that you didn't just take a L, you're going to take back to back L's. You're going to be, you're going to be, you're going to be, you literally ended your argument with what you said was correct. But that will be.

You're a fucking idiot. The last thing you said, not the first thing that you said that we started with. What even are those two things? I was about to call him LL Fool J. and I couldn't get it out because he was talking. What even are those two things? I don't want to do this anymore. Do you really want to keep going with this?

You just don't. You can have a win. Thanks. All right, moving on. Plus, we already got it recorded. Everybody know what happened. Take it away. Stray's furious.

Well, this is hit for me very hard. Well, hold on. I want to say one more thing. Do y'all think, though, that women could have figured out those women, the dying witches could have figured out something to, like, feed them cows? Yeah. And make them bleed milk or blood. Just like the milk red, maybe.

Do I think women are a capable of murdering a cow out of a spot? Yeah, I do think that. Hilarious, but you know what I mean. Could you like that kind of thing? Is that what some of these stories, you know, come from? Like, oh, they did a spell. It's like, no, they snuck into his field and they put some roots in them cow's mouths. That's where all those kind of stories come from.

It could just be. Or they're just made up, yeah. It could just be beats. Could have fed him a bunch of beats and everybody thought it was blood. Well, I know my poop looked bloody when. I eat beats, but I don't know about teddy milk. I don't know about teddy milk either. I mean, I know that...

Beat titty milk would is. Like, you're not supposed to drink. If you're breastfeeding, you ain't supposed to drink and shit. Like, I mean, I know it gets into your titty milk. So, you're right. It do. Cows got like eight stomachs. How many livers do they have?

No idea. Y'all know about them cows you can put your hand inside from the side? Yes, Corey, you could always stick your hand up a cow's ass. They got holes in their side. Like gills? Like cow gills? They breathe underwater. The only place I know of for sure that they are.

I know there are other places, but I don't know where. They're at UT Martin, University of Tennessee at Martin. They have an ag department, like one of the biggest ag departments in Tennessee, probably the biggest one. And they breed these cows to have holes in their side. And there's like plastic so like stuff can't get in there. But it's so ag students can like get in there and watch and actually view the process of how their digestive system works. Yeah, okay. I take back everything.

I said, we fuck up dragons all day. God damn, that is some gangster shit. Just like, let's breed these cows with holes in them so we can see what the fuck. We can make a cow aquarium. It makes me uncomfortable. Me too. Hell yeah, that's weird as fuck. I mean, I'm all about, like, stem cell research and us being able to modify things to make them better.

But, like, just making a cow TV don't hit, I don't think. That shit's wild. Yeah. When you say a fucking shaman do that shit. Anyway. I mean, my argument is they're the same thing. They are. Yeah.

Our witch doctors is fucking mad scientist now. That's what I'm saying. I think that nuclear power is witchcraft. That shit. I mean, I'm too dumb to understand it. But when they talk about, well, you split the atom apart. I'm like, what? Do what?

The basic building block of matter. We just rip it into and everything goes to shit. that sounds like we fucked up the Matrix somehow. Yeah, that's, that is insane to me. I concur. Hot take. Yeah. That needs to be a new segment.

Hot take with Corey where I just say a thing that everybody ought to know, but I'm stupid. It usually is going to come up pretty organically in the podcast. Yeah. What else was we going to talk about? Well, you wanted to talk about something. I mean, I just wanted to bring up the fact, uh, that before you all walked in the room. I read in the Washington Post that Trump

and this is not fake news he said he was bragging about being on Face the Nation which he by the way quipped more like DeFace the Nation that's what he said he was shitting on the show but he said that he had they had the best

number his episode had the best numbers since the World Trade Center collapsed which I'll be honest with you both are fairly comparable Yeah. Maybe that's the point. People only tune into that show for a goddamn national fucking disaster.

Tragedy. But yeah, man, that's a thing that, like, his hubris literally every week, it goes to a new fucking level. It's insane. Yeah. I thought you wanted to talk about ducks or something like that. Whoa. But we could do that. Now it was the Ravens is what it was.

But, yeah. Or did you want to talk about ducks? You're looking at me like you want to talk about ducks? No, there was some, like, weird shit I was wanting to talk about. What about Ravens was I want to talk about? I was one of brought up to Ravens. It's funny. Oh, that fucking shit.

The Ravens of London. Yeah, I do want to hear about that more. Well, oh, I remember another thing. Drew was going to give us some theory he's got about black people. So we'll tease that. Anyway. Yeah, y'all stay tuned. Go on, Trey.

No, first of all, fuck Donald Trump, but that's completely. in line with the shit that he says. Yeah. Again, I don't really even know what else to say. Again, he's a parody of himself. So, you know, what the fun. I wasn't wanting to start a conversation. That's just a side note.

That thing happened. I can totally believe it. No, this is sort of related to what we were saying. I was superstitions and stuff. But to this day, and it's been going on since it's like the Middle Ages, the British Empire, the crown, the crown, right? They maintain a flock of a certain size of ravens at the Tower of London. because they have a superstition, it's like hundreds of years old that says,

if those ravens ever die or fly away, the crown will fall and the empire of Britannia with it or whatever. So they have, dude, they have like raven masters. That's their actual job title, Ravenmaster at the Tower of London to just keep these birds. They cheat, though, because they clip their wings, so they can't fly away. They just have to all die. But it's all very, very, very British because these. can also be like dishonorably discharged because they're like apparently in like the queen's

military and like the story I read was one of them bit a like police dog because the police dog wasn't hitting for it so it pecked it and it got discharged for conduct unbecoming an officer the corporal was like excuse me that was court-martialed that was not very raven you're you're out of here buddy yeah that's absolutely the most british shit is it not The clip in their wing shit is pretty us. Yeah. That's the part of us that left from Britain, I guess. But yeah, that is, like, I don't know.

I mean, we've got shitty, stupid traditions, I guess, that we just keep going and keep going and keep going. But having a dude who his job is to, you know, court these Ravens every goddamn day, that's so funny to me. Yeah, but Ravens. Do you know Ravens can talk? You mean, like, parrots? No, I mean like political discourse No, yeah, in the same way that they can mimic Like parrots can mimic

I don't know that I knew that But they're not like domesticated So they're not around things all the time But they have the like physiological ability to do so And like some of them It's, you know, like some people do have pet ravens They're like you know rescued or whatever Like

And they talk? We could probably find it on YouTube right now A raven talking Can we buy one? Oh, you know what? matter of fact, I went down to Raven rabbit hole the other day on the internet when I found that story. And there's a, you know, obviously this is not great podcasting because they can't see this

video. But if you go on YouTube, there's a video of a Raven walking up to a dude on a bench and telling him, fuck you. Shut up. Show me that right now. If this seems stupid, I will totally cut it out of the podcast. But I've got to see a Raven saying, fuck you. I mean, I didn't really.

that there was a raven who was a man after the whole heart. Here, I'll hold this mic up to it, so at least people in here. That's a dude talking. Hello. There's a raven just on the bench beside this guy. The raven just chilling. The raven's walking up to the dude now. Listen.

Oh, my God. That is fucking hilarious. So wait a minute. You think them British ravens can talk? Probably. They're all around this dude. They're all around people and shit all the time. I bet at least some of them can talk.

That's all them. That's all them raven masters do. Like, their job is just to not let birds die. And you know if a bird dies, they just get another one and don't tell anybody. Yeah. So they just sit around teaching that word, that the ravens had a cuss, British cuss words. That's probably why they get discharged a lot. Just ravens up there just like, poppy cock.

Yeah. Bloody hell. Queen's a bitch. Cod's wallop. Britain's got some wild shit going on. I don't know if y'all. It's up on that. I've been sleeping on it.

The Tories, it looks like they're wildly ahead of the polls and they're going to have way many more seats in Parliament than the Labor Party. The Tories are the conservatives and they've been running on a big Brexit platform, you know what I mean? So just like, even though when that all happened, everyone was like, this is stupid. They're still going down that direction look like, yeah. And it's very populist and very anti-immigrant. Well, we didn't fall far from that. did we? No.

I mean, wild shit's going on in France, too. Y'all know about that? They got one of them candidates. If I'm not mistaken, he came in second. But the dude who came in first, who's much more centrist and not quite as crazy as him, if I'm not mistaken, I could be wrong. I could be fucking up who's who.

He is married to his teacher from when he was in high school. France politics is always wild. This is going to sound really hilarious, but I kind of heard a little bit about that today because Danny Glover tweeted about it. Danny Glover would be wild in the politics. He is.

He's friends with, I want to say Hugo Chavez. That checks out for me, kind of. Okay. That's what Danny Glover's up to nowadays. Been up to it for a minute, if I'm not mistaken. I think he's super communist or socialist. Socialist. Really?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well. Yeah, he said democracy or capitalism. I'm too old for that shit. I was going to say, isn't he too rich for that shit? Yeah, a little bit. Being communist.

Oh, no, Drew. What? Educate us about black people. What? Your theory. Well, my theory was more about white people, but I'm glad you had put me on the spot in this. Although, as we talked about it yesterday, I realized all I was saying was, yeah, this is how racism works in America. But Corey, since Trey has walked away, and he and I have already talked about this, I was talking about how there are way more white quarterbacks in the NFL than black quarterbacks.

This is what y'all were talking about when I was on the phone with Amber. Yes. I heard a little bit of it got in my ear. enough that I can't wait to hear this. And I was saying that a facet of that is, of course, coaches and systemic racism just putting the white kid in the leadership role or whatever. But of the few people that get those leadership roles, I mean, there are young black quarterbacks across America, not as many,

but how come in the NFL more of them end up being white? Like, as it rises up, how come they're seemingly less Michael Vicks than Brett Farves or whatever? Well, and again, part of it is. coaches and systemic racism. Part of it that I, this was my theory, and this is still, I realized, systemic racism after I fleshed it out.

Right. It's just like the idea that when you are a young athlete and you're really, really good, a fucked up thing about our society is that the people around you, for the most part, unless you got like a real good mama and daddy or whatever, but like people in your community, for the most part,

are going to treat you like you're a God. Oh, yeah. You can't do any wrong as long as you can throw. And if you're good and you stay good and you go to a good college and you do well there and all that stuff, you're just never told you're not a God. You know what I mean? It's just reinforced.

Like Tom Brady, well, that might be a bad example because, you know, he got drafted low, but he still got drafted. Yeah, but, dude, it actually kind of illustrates your point a little bit because that's arguably the only like true hardship. Tom Brady ever had was getting drafted in the sixth round. And he broke down crime when he was talking about it in the documentary about it. Right. You know what I mean?

He was just like, you know, like he was talking about the abortion he had to have or whatever. He got drafted in the six. Plus, trust me, he still believed he was a God. I mean, you remember what he said to the president? He's just like, you just made the best decision you've ever made in your life. Best decision this organization's ever made. Yeah. Right.

So it's reinforced and your belief in yourself is completely validated, not just because you're an athlete. But if you're white, also because when you're. when you watch movies or whatever, you look like the star. So literally everything ends the sound. It's like that thing of being a white male in general, but you never learn that ain't about you.

Like as a kid, you see white males as being the heroes of all the movies. But then like at 15, you don't get beat up by a dude. So you think, well, I guess I'm not Arnold Schwarzenegger or whatever. You just always believe that. For sure.

Well, that fucks a lot of people up. You end up with Johnny Mansell, Ryan Leaf. but it also creates some people like Brett Farve and Peyton Manning who just believe in themselves on a level that I can't fathom as a human being. No. And I feel like it's harder, in my opinion, for a black kid in America to get to that level because the media surrounding you is showing very different images to you. And as I said, Corey, as I flesh this out with Tray, I realized, oh yeah, I just explained white privilege. That's all I just did. Well, okay, but let me ask you this, though, and we got into this a little bit in the car.

are you restricting this to like we're talking about quarterbacks and that's it right yeah because it's just because i was just because i was just like you're talking about the media and stuff like that well i mean like dude and in and i please no one interpret this as me being apologist about anything racism's a huge fucking problem in this country but i'm just saying to that one point i mean if you're a young black athlete like a really good athlete in like a junior higher high school or whatever i mean you got a million fucking wrong models to look up to. There's all kinds of people in the media that you see all the time. Sure. And it is changing and we are getting more black quarterbacks. I'm just, I'm just saying

at that level, NFL level, there's 32 spots, right? Of course, how we all got to, whoever is the 50 people or so that they're choosing from to fill those 32 roles. How you got to there could vary from anyone. But like at that point, it's not just, about who's the best, but that's a big part of it. I think with quarterbacks, it pretty much is about, but I'm including mentally as well as physically into that,

because, like, I mean, because there aren't 32 guys who can start at quarterback in the NFL, you know what I mean? There's about, I don't know, 20, 22 or something like that,

and then the bottom 10 are always cycling in and out, meaning like, if you are genuinely good enough to do it, like then you're going to get one of those jobs. I guess what I've arrived at for me is I feel like to play quarterback at that level, you have to have an almost psychopathic level of belief in yourself. Yeah.

And I think it's easier to achieve that without falling the fuck apart if you're a white dude. Yeah. And I realized after I arrived at that, I was like, oh wait, that's not really, everybody be saying that. Right. But it's just like that's a weird microcosm of how that manifests itself. Yeah. And I mean, it's just a numbers game too. as you said,

like that it, black quarterbacks is kind of a new thing. Well, yeah, that has to do with the systemic racism that was just around.

Sure, sure. And that takes for fucking ever to go away. And my example that I talked to you guys about not long ago was I remember, like when Tiger Woods came on the game, there was no black golfers. And I thought, all right,

he's huge, he's the biggest fucking athlete in the whole world. There's going to be more black golfers coming out. There ain't. They're just still, he's been in the, But damn, he's been the pros 20-something years. What's because it really is so insane that a black guy in golf rose up

that it's still going to take another generation before. And it'll happen, but that was such a, they weren't even allowed on the course until in the 50s. Right. So that's just not going to happen. But it did blow my mind. That was a realization I had like this year. I was like, damn, I really thought it'd be now,

like I thought now there'd be some young up and coming. Nope, not a goddamn one. Not fucking one. Really? How many golfers? Somebody's going to point one out and I'm going to be an asshole. How many pro-golf? I watch a lot of golf.

How many pro golfers that are big are there that aren't that aren't like they parents at least have some money type? It's because golf just seems like, because I played golf. I went broke on golf like four different times in college. It's a very expensive. Well, that's 100% true. I mean, there's, and I just don't know how you could do it as a poor kid. There's a couple exceptions. I don't know how you can do it.

There's like John Daley, Boo Weekly, both of whom rednecks. But there's a couple, but like, yeah, no, that absolutely helps. Golf is one of those sports that in order to be the best in the world, you had to be doing it your whole goddamn life. And in order to be doing that your whole goddamn life, your parents have had to pay for you to go play golf. Right. You can't just like all of a sudden go from a weekend warrior to a pro golfer.

You don't have the time. You don't have the mechanics. It ain't going to happen. So, yeah, I mean, I'm saying 99% come from a very, very privileged lifestyle. That's one of the things that's so awesome about soccer. And I don't look, I hardly ever watch soccer other than just during the World Cup. Yeah, that ain't the case. But, like, that's why one of the reason soccer is one of the biggest sports on earth is because, like, literally all you need is a ball.

A ball. And in, like, the favelas in Brazil and shit, they'll wad up bags of trash and tie it with string and play with that instead of a ball. Oh, yeah. That's my favorite thing about soccer. Me too. It's awesome. The idea of how... You don't have to...

It has none of that shit that golf has. Baseball is similar. You stick and ball, you know. But fielding, like, you can learn to hit anywhere. Yeah, right. Anywhere. But fielding is different. Without a doubt.

But it's, you know, there's a lot of... There's a lot. Plenty of poor people got a big jump in baseball and then soccer. But yeah, golf man, it's... It's very rare. Insantly rare. And I'd say, like, John Daly and Boo, weekly.

Those are my examples. When I say them, I mean, like, their parents didn't own oil companies. I'm sure that they weren't dead broke, you know. Right. Because I just, I don't, I don't fucking see how that could happen. I really don't. You know, another sport that's like that, and I don't know much of anything about it, admittedly, but like, uh, really high profile racing, like F1 and shit like that.

And I mean, like NASCAR, too, a lot of times is like golf in that way. Sure. You can't because dude like, guys. Their rednecks, them's rich redneck. Right. And those guys start driving, like, at the pro level, like 20 or whatever. And to be doing that, you have to been cart racing since you were like fucking eight. And that shit.

I had a neighbor when I lived in Oak Roos, my next door neighbor, his like 28-year-old son still was racing go-carts. He was, he also still lived in their basement and never had, never held down job the whole time I knew him. But he's a sweetheart of a guy. Yeah. But I'm saying they had this garage. I'm saying he treated that almost like it was his job. Right. And but,

and they had this garage and this big tractor trailer and stuff filled with all their shit. You know, the carts and the tools and everything. And like, I don't know. I never asked everything like that, but there's no way there was any less than, there's no way it was less than $150,000 worth of shit that they had,

probably a lot more. Yes, any vehicle. Like, goddamn, like that's going to. And, you know, that's what you have to be able to do if you want to be like a fucking professional race car driver. Also, there's a lot of time that goes into that. Time is money. There's also qualifying fees. There's also travel with all that horse shit.

Yeah. I mean, that's, I don't know, man. I mean, and I'm sure I know there's been some poor stock car racers too. But yeah, really the whole point of this is having money is very advantageous. And being white also turns out. Yeah, to know. advantageous. We are

really hot takes all day on this one. We are crushing this shit. I don't know if y'all have heard these too hot. These revelations. If you rich and or white

and or athletic. Black people don't play golf and having money hats. That's what I'm titling this episode. Oh my dear God. That's fucking hilarious. You guys want to review

all of Trump's accomplishments for the first 100 days? Sure. Is that where we are right now? Yeah. Yeah, we're right at it. Okay. Here we go.

He confirmed Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, which we did not want. Don't help. That's it. Yeah. I mean, he, like, got rid of some of Obama's executive orders, and then he instituted some executive orders. Like, he's claiming credit, for example, the higher American part of the pipeline, but he didn't even start a building that yet. And plus, you know, yeah, Americans are going to have some jobs.

We just ain't going to have water. in 10 years. When the earth burns up. So he's claimed more than that. I was being a little tongue-and-cheeky. He has accomplished a lot for shitty people. Yeah. He got the mother of all bombs, Drew.

Yeah. Moab, baby. That's an accomplishment to a lot of people. He is, he went on TV and said, I mean, of course, because he sucked, this is a, I can't do it like Corey Kim, but it's talking about how this is an unfair, like 100 days is a bullshit metric. Yeah. He's right about that.

I agree. but that did not stop him from going smooth in on Obama. Exactly. Everything he ever says, people just go back and find multiple tweets from him that are directly hypocritical of like whatever he has said. Also, I mean, 100, 100 days is, yeah, it is a bullshit metric, but at the same time, he has undeniably, of those 100 days, that motherfucker's been on the golf course for goddamn 30 of them.

and like I didn't you know I don't want to be hypocritical because when Obama took in vacation I didn't say shit I was just like man deserves a break but he didn't in the first hundred days you literally you can go check that shit he also has just done so much wild shit from Marlago from having the nuclear football there with people taking selfies with it to getting briefed on Syria like he has actually made some pretty big deal orders from down there and I think that's at the very least wild to think about like dude what's secure about that like who's to say how secure that area it's not like like DC where they, you know, that shit's been on lock for decades. They know every in and out. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, I'm, you're still right, but I'm also certain that the Secret Service and whoever else, like, they let some dude take a selfie with the nuclear football, Trey. Yeah, well, the only thing that in danger was that dude's life and he don't give a shit. He's black, right, that guy with the nuclear football? I mean, he was carrying the ball.

He's probably black. Anyway, I'm sure they went through some security protocols or whatever, but it's still ridiculous. I agree with you, but it unhinges some part of me to think about how we all just... I mean, I'm sure the CIA handle it's like, I mean, I don't know, dude, that's how I felt about Trump winning this election. I'm sure it wouldn't happen, and then it did. We assume there's a certain amount of... Competency? Yes.

Yeah. We ought not do that. We have faith in our institutions. That's our religion. I really do. I find, like, I find myself thinking that kind of thing a lot, and I'm like, and then I'll have that thoughts, like, what? Yeah, it's faith. Maybe I were not.

That's faith is what that is. Right. I mean, it's based upon years of us being competent, seemingly. Yeah. Because it really just comes down to me thinking America's number one. Well, I mean, in our hearts and in reality. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Trey's wearing a shirt right now that's all black. And then there's like, it's an eagle, but it's like a shadowy-looking eagle, and he's made out of an American flag. The eagle's made out of an American flag. The eagle's made out. I'm an American flag. I'm wearing a basketball shirt covered in booze stains. That's the same thing.

It means the same thing. Yeah, it means the exact same thing. And it's red, white and blue. I'm wearing a Jason Isabel t-shirt that stinks. You've had, that's day four of that t-shirt.

Because I thought after we went to, where we go first? Providence. Brooklyn. After Brooklyn, though, I thought after we left for Providence, we would be back at my house the next day. Because I didn't look at the map because I'm dumb.

Also, you'd just be taking stuff for green it. Sure. Yeah, and then we could have, I mean, you could have done that, you could have went to your house. It was fine with me and Corey. It was no problem. We didn't care. We were all for it.

Yeah, you guys were all for it. We wanted to go back by your house. That helps you out. I don't know why you chose not to do that. I don't either, man. For those of you wondering why they're being nice to me, but you can tell it, sarcasm. This is another fight we have had on this trip. You got to go, Corey?

No, I don't have to go. Why are you waving at me? I just. Is that the don't hit? the same we'd done 55. I was trying to do it without having to explain it. And that hits for me that that's how that happened. Corey trying to be covered about during just being like,

what the fuck are you doing, Corey? That's not what I said. I thought you had to leave. I thought you were waving at me. In your defense. Corey Flash 5-5. I just thought he was like, bye, bye, bye, bye. In your defense, that's fair because I often do panic and leave right in the

middle of this podcast that we do. So I ain't shitting on you. Yes, you do. It's just very raving about what happened. I was trying to be like a fucking hip producer. like, we're at 55, guys. What are you doing, you dumb fuck? What are you fucking leaving?

What the fuck's going on over there? So how do you guys feel about, and you guys know how I feel about it because I've turned it into a bit that I won't go into because that will be shameful. But how do you guys feel about Mar-Lago in general and how much time he's spending there and all that mess? I think it's interesting that if there is an attack, they want to do an attack on the president, that Florida will get fucked up. Like if they're going to do it, because D.C. hits for me.

you know like at least that's at least the silver lining you know somebody bombs the president like well at least it was Florida at least it was Florida Southern Florida specifically yeah and I'm just kidding Florida you know I love you I really hate it for a whole lot of reasons first of all despite the fact that I was devil's advocate initially I agree with what you said about it's not fucking there's not enough We just ran across the room and jumped over both of us. It's like it wouldn't be a distraction.

Oh, that was so goddamn funny. I don't know what you were saying, dude. You got it, baby. You got something. Corey flew across here as elegantly as a cannonball. So you know how you said that about security? And I was like, yeah, but I'm sure they took measures. And I am sure they took measures.

But you know what costs a whole lot of money? Measures, security measures. Measures be costing money. but and still there's no way it's as secure as DC in the White House everything else. So we spent a, it costs us a butt fuck of money. It, it does seem reckless.

And also what I don't like about it is, I've never bought a butt fuck, but I do think that's a lot. It is, I've been told us a lot. And, uh, and also, and maybe this is projecting a little bit,

not, but I don't think it is. Projecting yourself? No, the projecting is not the right word. What's the, like, I'm,

maybe I'm imagining. But I'm not. Of course you're not. You can't do that. Yeah. I have no imagination. It's just like, it's hubris.

His hubris? His hubris. You know, like it's just a thing that's indicative of that. And I could be projecting. I mean, I'm a hubris having motherfucker myself.

But, no, hubris helps. But, uh, is hubris the cheese? I'm kidding. But,

um, so yeah, I hate. pretty much everything about it. And then, and then on top of that, like, he's doing that. And fucking what's your, Melania and Barron are in fucking Trump Tower and Manhattan also costing us money on both. Like, also because of his and their hubris.

And it just, just the whole situation all around is just very, very shitty. And while he's doing all that, he's turning around and like canceling meals on wheels and fucking, you know, butt fucking big bird and shit. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah. He is what the Republican Party, what we've been saying they are for years, but they've been acting like, no, family values. We don't hate poor people.

We just got to have smart spending, you know, it's not hatred. It's just that we're being efficient. Teach a man to fish. And look, capitalism is what God intended and it's fair. It's not just greed. And then it's like, no, this is who y'all are. Donald Trump is absolutely what you have been creating. He's just saying it.

He's saying it out loud, man. He fucks this, you know, model who lives in New York with a son they have named Barron. He spends time in Florida because he wants to, no matter how much it costs, I fucking want to, so I'm going to do it. And here's the thing. Here's something that I like about some Trump voters and supporters. They'll admit that. They'll be like, yeah, that's what I fucking like about him, is that he's this crazy, I'll do whatever the fuck I want, hubris having orange motherfucker. but it infuse, it's gross, but it doesn't make me as angry as it infuriates me, these people who are like,

this is what God wants for the country. And we are the moderate party who is about, you know, level-headed spending and just slow progress. And Democrats want everyone to rape kale in the streets and throw God out of a window on his head. And it's like, no, this dude is a Game of Thrones character just not orange. Dude, there's a, those people, like, it goes beyond just like, this is what our party represents, you know, family values and traditional, you know, whatever, all that shit you were just saying. When I was on David Smalley's podcast, Dogma Debate, he played for me a clip, multiple clips of these, like, televangelists, right? And I don't remember which ones, it doesn't matter, but, like, popular ones, talking about Donald Trump. and they were like talking about how great it was to finally have a godly man back in the White House.

John Hagey and those dudes. I saw that shit. I don't. It's seriously impossible for me to conceive how you can delude yourself to that extent. If they just want to avoid it, if you want to say the Republican Party is the party of that, I think you're still full of shit, but whatever, fine. And then just avoid even talking about Donald Trump. but, dude, Donald Trump don't even say that he's godly.

No. You know what I mean? He lies about everything, and even he doesn't really pretend to give a fuck about God. Even if Obama was a Muslim, he at least fucking pretended not to be one. Or, like, pretended to be a Christian and pretended to go for their things. They were still like, nope, whatever. Okay, I see what you're saying now. That's what I'm saying.

He's like, Trump don't even do that. No, he doesn't be right. Obama would go sing in church and shit, and they were like, secret Muslim, evil fucking antichrist. Donald Trump's like, I don't really know the Bible. They're like, look, a godly man. Two Corinthians have three divorces. My wife's tits are out there.

I'm a Christian. Whatever. It's so fucking wild. What makes me the most mad about all this fucking, you know, we finally, we have a godly man in there who's tough. And like, he's no nonsense. He's no bullshit. He does wherever the fuck they want. I'm sick of people acting like that makes him a man's man.

And like that makes him tough. He's just got money. That's what people with money fucking do. I'd beat the fuck out of Donald Trump. Dude, Bill Marcev for weeks leading up to the election, like, his whole thing became calling Donald Trump a pussy. Because he knew how much that would, like, because it was that whole thing. It's like he was like, like, he was like a man's man. No, he's tough talking tells it like it is.

And Bill, and he was just like, no, he's a huge fucking pussy. That's what he is. Yeah, huge. And like every week he'd revisit Donald Trump being a pussy. It was hit. Well, my thing with that. He barely has an arm and he'd beat the fuck out of Donald Trump. Well, see, I'm glad you brought up McCain because I was just sitting here thinking.

It's not even about beating the fuck out of him, by the way. It's a lot of shit. Sure. It is for me. Well, it's that too. I'm glad you brought it McCain because I was just sitting here thinking, like, I'm not mad at Trump for being. Trump's been Trump forever. Right.

He ain't been no different. Like, I don't like him. I don't want him to be president. And I'm mad about a lot of the shit that he's doing. But like, I'm not going to sit here and be surprised and anger that he has turned out to be who I always knew that he was. Right. And I'm going to be honest with you, some of these people on TV with these televangelists, I knew they was fake. I've been knowing they was fake.

my dad, who's a preacher, been knowing they was fake? I've been told they were fake since I was seven years old. Like, even by people who would agree with what they're saying, but just saying, hey, they're lying. They're just bullshit and this is all. Like my dad would always say, it's like, oh, they love poor people, they love sick people. How come their church is so fucking expensive and they're not just spinning at the goddamn hospital? I always knew that those people were exactly who I thought they were. And like McCain deserves to get some credit because he stood up to him.

But where are people like McCain? Why didn't they rally against them? How come Mike fucking Huckabee, who has said for years, well, you know, we may disagree, but I love America. He's fucking one of the biggest pro-Trump dude ever. This dude is unbelievably against everything they claim that they have bought into. And if you're a

hack on TV who's just selling religion to get money, of course you're full of shit. I already knew that. But it's like you are revealing that Republican Party is either completely full of shit or full of people who this is what they want. This is what they want. They want a dude who fucks Russian models, lives wherever he

wants, spends times in Florida, and like, just own that. See if it's a winner. I mean, fuck, it might be. That might be the way to win votes in America. Just get up and be like, I'm the coolest motherfucker here. I fuck the hottest girl. I got all the money. I got gold on my fucking time.

I'm going in, ain't I? That's literally President Camacho. Yeah. In any of the Irish. Yes. President Alizando Mountain Dew Camacho or whatever. The world's greatest porn star and president of the United States of America.

Bernie needs to release a sex tape. Does that do it? Just Bernie sitting there fucking a girl eating a, Can I got dizzy screaming. I'm not, I was not surprised by those people being the worst. You're going to make those televangelists. I'm just reiterating again, I, like, I seriously, I can't conceive of what has to go on in your brain to either have the balls or the, like, again, the true delusion to be able to say some shit that's just so fucking baldly false like that about talking about how. Donald. Like, I, there's no, I could never go on TV in public and just, and say some shit like that.

I don't care how much it served my own interest. I find another way to do that without just being so fucking overtly, ridiculously, absurdly wrong. One Trump supporter of my family explained that they were voting for him because he was a bulldog. And I said, he is a peacock. Yes. That's what he is. That's exactly. ugly orange peacock. That's exactly right.

But I understand getting fooled to a certain extent by that. I don't understand the we're not the bulldog party. Right. You know, like, I understand that you got fooled thinking it was a bulldog. I don't really. I think it's ridiculous. Jesus Christ, it was obvious. But saying that you want to vote for a Christian and then voting for someone who so clearly is pretending to be a bulldog who's going to bully everyone.

It's quite. unbelievable because that really is he's just a stereotypical movie high school bully and except he's ugly biff was ugly yeah that's the only one though yeah well not really roger clonts and Doug funny he was ugly that's a cartoon I know but I'm saying a lot of times they is portrayed is ugly that's what they mean well i was thinking more like the 80s and 90s movies like the ice man you know like like the bad guy i was thinking about something earlier um was it volleyball on the beach and homo i'm always thinking about that me too dude take after my uncle tim in that regards speaking of your uncle tim did you see what he coming in on my picture that's what i'm referencing

even though i'm referencing it to peat no one else is going to get that that's listening but yeah my wife posted a headshot of me that she had found in a folder where i took headshots but i had I had my sunglasses with me one day, so I took some of these sunglasses on. She found them and posted it. He just happened to have his sunglasses with him. On a sunny day. Just had those with them.

You took those to the photo shoot. You couldn't wait to put those sunglasses on. That's not true, but okay. I like how, what's your proof here? Like, literally a year later, my wife found these and posted them or stuff. Did I call her? Hey, baby, listen, there's this folder.

Maybe. I believe it. I can imagine that because I have a vibrant imagination. Anyway. What always flummoxes me about how y'all think about me, it's not just that you think that I'm that person. I'm like, if that's who you think I am, why are you my friend? That's how I feel about how you think about me and me too.

No, wait, I get why y'all my friends. Why wouldn't you be? There's a whole bunch of reasons for y'all to be my friends, so I get it. All your flaws hit, Corey. That's true. I mean, they're fun. That's really what I meant to say. Yeah.

What was we talking about? Oh, I'm telling me. the people. So she posted this picture of me in sunglasses and someone made a top gun joke, of course. And Uncle Tim just immediately, just like, you know, I could definitely go for some

homo erotic volleyball right now. Hell yeah. That's Uncle Tim for you. So if anything don't work out between me and Annie, I'm going to end up marrying Trey's uncle. That would hit for me. I'm getting line, buddy. Keys forever. I'm in the front

of that line. Uncle Tim's got some, buddy, Uncle Tim's Tim's banging 20 year olds right now. Two-year-old dudes. He's going to love this shit. I mean, I'm just saying, Uncle Tim's, uh, he's, uh,

on fire. Yeah. I can't wait for Paige to text you, Bubby, don't talk about Uncle Tim's sexual prowess. No, she knows what you just said, which is that that will hit for Uncle Tim,

so it's fine, he'll think that's funny. She is going to text, Bubby, please tell Corey to stop doing my accent so shitty. Without a day. Probably that sounded pretty spot on. That ain't what I really sound like,

God. Y'all. Try. I just love y'all. Stop it. God. She listens every week, so she is going to hear that. And I will get a text from her.

I love you, Paige. What were, before the, the volleyball, the, oh, bullies in 80s movies. Yeah. Attractive. Something reminded me earlier I was thinking, and we've talked about this a little bit before. You know how in, like, romantic comedies and Corey is a connoisseur of romantic comedies. He's a cute, probably the biggest romantic comedies. he's a cute, probably the biggest romantic comedy fan.

We know he loves them, all of them. They're his favorite type of movie genre, period. This is romantic comedies. Absolutely true. Because Corey is a white woman. 100%. You know, I'm... Every time in romantic comedy...

I know what you were trying to do, by the way. I know. Well, that's okay. I'm glad you went with it. That's sweet. Joe growing up. Anyway. You know how in...

Now I'm furious. In every remaining... comedy you know they have to go through some turmoil like oh they're not going to be together and then they end up together and then in that period of they're not going to be together one of them finds somebody else yeah and that person usually is like comically the worst right so it's like okay when they leave that person you know what i mean like they get a new boyfriend and he's such a douchebag right and they do that so you're cool so they do that so you're cool with what's about to happen but sometimes though like a good example is the notebook sometimes they

They hit. Sometimes they don't even fuck with pretending like the person's a bag of shit. Also, Sweet Home Alabama. James Marsden or whatever in the notebook, like he's just a totally all right dude. But still like women watching it. When you're watching it as the viewer, you're like, oh, fuck that guy. He ain't Gosling. What's he said, he's not Ryan Gosling.

That's who he is. That's his only sin in that movie is not being Ryan Gosling. You know what's wild about Sweet Home Alabama is that it was Patrick Duffy. Not Duffie. Patrick. if you think I saw that movie. No. Yes, his name's Patrick Wilson.

Is it really? Ain't it? No, from Grey's Anatomy? Oh, no, no. I was thinking of a different guy who I also thought was in that movie, but maybe he's... Anyway, guys, I'm very interested

at exploring this trope and breaking it down. No, no, no, no, but mine's the opposite. Mine's the opposite, where she... He was like the biggest, he was McDreamy or whatever, and she fucking left him for goddamn Josh Lucas, who don't hit his haul. Josh Lucas, who I was thinking of it.

Josh Lucas, for me. Josh Lucas looks like, like a dude named Patrick, who's also an actor that makes movies kind of like that. I've always thought him to be the poor man's, uh, oh shit, who? I don't know. Go on with your thing. All right. So, I think, is, I want to ask you as a connoisseur of romantic comedies, is there

anything that's like explores that, but from the perspective of James Morrison's character, like a movie or whatever story? Like the guy that got left that was good. That's about that guy who's like a totally all right dude. And then, but he just happens to be the third. Because as y'all know, that happened to me in real life. Sure. It's happened to me with every relationship I've ever been.

And I mean, it's fine. We were not supposed to be together and I'm glad it ended. But the only time I've ever been cheated on, the dude she cheated on me with, they're married to this day and have like three kids and whatever else. So like I was that dude in real life. and I think it'd be interesting to see a a romantic comedy or something from that do's perspective because that's not a thing, right?

Is that a thing? I think the reason it ain't a thing is because that ain't interesting. How is that not interesting? Everybody's been that dude. It might not be interesting to girls. No, there has to be. But like, the reason you, that dude, is because you ain't interesting in this story.

You didn't hit enough for that girl. And I don't mean that against you personally, but that's just how it is. I ain't enough way she was wrong about. Exactly. I agree, baby. But I'm saying, like, to make that story have the ending that you want to have the whole point is from that girl's perspective you wasn't a one that's kind of pete home's life i'm listening to say it's a different it's not a romantic comedy if you do a show

from that perspective it's not at all romantic comedy it's a pete holmes thing it's some witty allen movies uh-huh to a certainty yeah right kind of how is that but like i i get what you're saying about yeah you're not one or whatever but that's sort of the point like again yeah it's like It's not classically interesting from a romantic comedy perspective, but it's like more, something more people can actually relate to. Sure. Because those are like storybook, love story, fucking movies, that shit don't happen. Yeah, but who wants the movie to relate?

I mean, that's not what you're after with. I do. Yeah, but that's not what you're after with a romantic comedy. Yeah, but you're right, though, it wouldn't be a romantic comedy. What would it be? It just be a fucking... Sad. Yeah, sad.

It'd be a sad movie's hit. I know, I agree. Hey, it'd be a dark comedy. Now you're at my jam. Yeah. Yeah. wait midnight i've seen midnight in paris i love that movie she she cheats on him with what's his face uh see it ain't the same if we don't know his name clearly he's not

no i can't remember what the other movie he's in uh he's in not a rival but uh fucking god damn it passenger he's the bartender and passenger you haven't seen passengers oh really was that any good it was for what it was yeah i mean terrible reviews right well i mean I'm like a motherfucker. It's them, it's them, too, who both hit for me, and it's sci-fi. Jennifer Lawrence can't actually carry a movie like that.

But it's sci-fi, so it hits for me. It's fine. Do you all remember when we went to a rival? He's in 30 Rock. He plays the dude that keeps coming back in Liz Lemon's life. He's the British guy that they were, she met at the dentist office. A solid three minutes of this podcast has been us talking out loud about something we can't remember.

Yeah, that's fine. Anyways, she cheats on Owen Wilson with that dude. Now, given he was trying to fuck Pablo Picasso's mistress. So I guess it's fine. Right. But, you know, he was a nice guy and he just didn't hit for her because he was Michael Sheen. Michael Sheen hits.

He does hit. I want to do mushrooms with Picasso. Yeah. Yeah. That hit. He did. He very, very, very dead. Very dead.

So. You remember when we were, we went to see arrival and we didn't see the first three minutes of the movie because we had to do an interview. And there was a. forgotten about. A colossal plot point in the very first of the movie. The biggest thing. Like,

yeah, it had me and you arguing about what was going on at the end. I'm still glad we went to see it. And I argued. I loved it. I think it kind of made it more interesting that I thought it was a mystery that we didn't know what was going on. No, I'm with you.

I agree. In fact, I think you could maybe, and I still haven't, I haven't rewatched it, so I haven't seen that opening scene. And that's a pretty new movie, so I don't want to spoil any of it.

But, like, I'm kind of with you. Right. not knowing that, not having that super important piece of information, that made a huge part of the plot mysterious to me, which I was kind of into. I was too. It's a fucking great movie though either way. Was we stoned?

Very stone. God, I was fucking ripped. Yo, we were stoned. We were in Atlanta, right? That movie's about Snapchat. Yeah, we figured that out. That was a very stone thought that I'm pretty sure. you had like in the mirror.

Oh God, this whole movie is just a product placement for Snapchat. Nothing's real. Arts Dad. Fuck this. I watched Bo Burnham from years ago on the inside the green room where he plays art. Paul Provenza. Yeah.

Dude. When he plays artist dead. Hold, real quick. I don't think I've ever told you all this. When I was at Skullfest this past year in Atlanta, Paul Provenza was part of Scull. No, wait, it wasn't Skull Fest. It was Red Clay. Yeah.

That would make more sense. It would. I went to one of my shows at Red Conveza. Clay and I walked up. He was sitting, he was sitting right by the door where you walk in at. He was sitting there with like a fucking laughing skull. It wouldn't be like, it was some kind of t-shirt on and he was like, and a hat and shit. But anyway, I walked up and I asked him something about like, you know, hey man, I'm one of the comics that I just going here. Like he, like, I absolutely thought he was staff. Paul Provenza. And he like, like, looked up. It was like,

uh, what? And I still didn't know. I, I didn't. know until after it was already completely over. I was just like, I was like, yeah, I'm actually, I'm actually, I'm a comedian. And I'm just, you know, I did that. And then like I, you have a long history of doing shit like that. What was the other one? What's the other ones I've done like that? Really?

Do you want me to, you want to? No, no, no. That, okay, first of all, that's completely different. Secondly, no, I don't want it. But yeah, that's not at all the same thing, though. That's not the exact same thing. the same vein. I went up to a work

in Kabadian and I was trying to talk to him and I was being drunk and belligerent and that did not and that did not hit for him and I walked away. That's not even what I'm talking about. I'm talking about we were in Salt Lake City

and you went up to fucking Jimmy Schubert and go, or not Jimmy Schubert but Jimmy Pardo and go, yeah, there's like a festival going on around here or something and we were on the fucking festival. Okay, dude, you were right beside me. I didn't know either.

Did you know? No, but I also didn't say it. But I didn't say it to Jimmy Pardo. He's saying you have a history of making the mistake out loud. I'm not saying, buddy, I'm not saying. And you do be having a history of making mistakes out loud. I'm not saying you're more wrong than me. It's going to cost me of this career.

One of these guys. Yeah, I'm not saying you're more than me. It's just it seems to happen to you more than me because I don't ever know shit. But I always don't say it. You're right. You're right. Yo, I got to go. I got a shower.

Okay. Oh, shit. Yeah, we have a show. I can smell my balls. We do have a show. Bethlehem. Ooh, I can smell your balls. Get ready for the second coming.

You want smell my balls? I do. well all right guys this is a very fun you like to weigh your balls smell sometimes it just depends kind of a little bit that's got to be an animal pheromone type thing right i'll be sitting there like i'd be just sitting like when i was at my office job i could be sitting in my

computer like this and i would start smelling my balls sometimes and that would almost like freak me out because i'd be like because you know they say you can't smell yourself yeah for the most part so like if i can smell my balls from here then like the chicken across the hallway also can smell my balls Definitely. I don't help. I mean, it kind of does.

Email us at, what's the email, Corey? I have no idea. Don't we have a podcast? Yeah, but if you have it. He's set it up. Yeah, but I don't remember what it is. I think it's well-read podcast at Gmail. At Gmail, yeah, you can see it on here.

Let us know about your, I want to hear about y'all's towns and counties folklore, like the died and witches and the bloody hill and all that. And also, if your ball smell. What's your ball smell like? Anyways, we'll see you on next time. Ski! Well, well.