wellRED podcast - #126 - Area 51, Lizard People, Okra, and DJ LEWIS!!!

Episode Date: July 16, 2019

This week BEST GOOD BUDDY of the podcast DJ Lewis lets loose on Area 51, Alternate dimensions, Portals, Lizard People (and dog people and plant people) and Drew surprises us with some new body art! This episode is a CANT MISS! DOWNLOAD SUBSCRIBE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND LEAVE US A REVIEW WE LOVE YOU LIKE CHICKEN SKEEEWWWwellredcomedy.com for tickets and merch and stuff

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid.

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So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast they're the the papyes family feast why has everybody suddenly family with papas hits the table feed all those cousins with six pieces of our boldly seasoned signature chicken two famous chicken sandwiches two large mouth watering sides and four flaky biscuits.

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That is where you can find our 2019 tour dates. We are on a, in my opinion, well-deserved break at the moment. But we're back on the road, August 9th and 10th in Little Rock, Arkansas. Then we're on to Chicago, Illinois, then Iowa City, Iowa, Madison, Wisconsin, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Traverse City, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan, Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas, San Diego, California. Let's see here, Lexington, Kentucky, back at Comedy Off Broadway, where we recorded our album, well-read, live from Lexington. You can grab that in our merch store.

Then we're on to San Antonio, Texas, Dallas, Texas, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Phoenix, Arizona, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina, Denver, Colorado. and then we are finishing the year at the greatest club in the whole damn country, Zanis in Nashville, December 19th through 22nd. Those are our Christmas shows. They always sell out, so go ahead and get your tickets right now, and subscribe to the newsletter so you will know where we're going to be before my dumb ass even knows where we're going to be.

Also, subscribe to the newsletter so you'll know where we're going to be because something so goddamn hilarious happened. Let me just, hold on, let me pull this up. Let me read this message. quick. This is so freaking hilarious. And I feel so very bad for this fan of ours, but it is just objectively hilarious.

So we got this message the other day. It was sent to train. This is what it says. My husband and I were so excited to see you in South Bend last night at the Morris Civic Auditorium. We had front row seats behind the orchestra.

My first clue that something was amiss was a giant drum set and huge amps. One of the ushers said we might need earplugs. What? Turns out it was a concert with David Crowder. So disappointed. We will try and catch you in Chicago. Number one, I hope you do catch us in Chicago, and that sucks. Number two, this should be pointed out to everyone listening, just so you'll know just how Raven this is. Not only did they go see the wrong Crowder, David Crowder is a contemporary Christian musician.

So you talk about getting the complete goddamn opposite experience of what they were going in for. They were going to see the liberal redneck show and then had to hear our God is an awesome God he reigns

from heaven above. Which I'm certain that David Crowder's show, for what it's worth, is amazing. I mean, God damn he's playing an auditorium in South Bend. It's got a hit. But, If you want to avoid that, first off, just, you know, read, I guess.

If you see, you know, don't just see Crowder and be like, that must be it, because there's a whole lot of Crowder's out there. But subscribe to our newsletter at well-readcomedy. And you can also go there to grab our merch. We got T-shirts. We got hats. We got posters. We got our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto Dragon Dixie out of the dark.

And like I said, we've got our album. well read live from Lexington. If you enjoy this podcast, this is we put out, I think this is episode 126 or some shit. That's fucking crazy. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us for over 120 episodes. That is,

I was talking to the guys about that last night. I just texted him. I was like, can you believe we've been doing this shit for this goddamn long? Like, that's, it's amazing. And we wouldn't be able to do it if you guys didn't listen and give us such good feedback. And if you do like the podcast, we ask you please do us a favor.

and go leave us a review on iTunes or Podbane or wherever it is you leave reviews because it really helps us move up the charts and it makes our advertisers happy and it makes us happy and it just, you know, we'll be able to keep putting out hopefully better content. But sincerely, thank you guys for the support. So far this episode is, I say this a lot. It's sort of like, you know, Conan had the, used to have the running joke about how every show was going to be the work. show they've ever done. And I say, you know, every time we put out a podcast, I feel like it's the best because, you know, you should. You should always want to do your best. But, like,

sincerely, any time we have DJ Lewis with us, it is guaranteed to be just top brass, amazing podcast. We were in, we reported this in, oh, God damn it, where were we at this past weekend? Oh, Asheville, North Carolina, one of the greatest liberal redneck capital of the world, almost. We were there. We were there. DJ. We always take DJ with us when we're anywhere in the south. And my dad was with us. And dad, we were about to record and the boys hadn't got to my room yet. And they were like, Dad goes, so what, uh, what's the subject going to be this week? And I said, dude, when we're with DJ, we don't have to prep. We just start talking and let that son of a bitch go.

He makes our jobs so insanely easy. And he's definitely the most requested guest we have on the podcast. And so you guys are going to, for some background of what we talked about, because we kind of just dive right into it. There has been a petition online or something started by a bunch of neckbeards talking about how they're going to go infiltrate Area 51 because, and I quote, they can't stop us all. So we obviously wanted to talk to our chief alien correspondent, DJ Lewis, about the Area 51 bullshit.

And we did, and he did not disappoint at all. So please enjoy this episode. Leave us a review. you tell your friends share it subscribe do all that good stuff and before we get on with the show uh because this is actually a teaser of things to come i have we have a song for you this is a skinny bumpkin aka dj louis featuring okra boy aka drew morgan this song is called deliverance uh and after that the podcast with none other than dj louis we love you guys and uh uskiy you You're one for the liver, resented with skinny, and they're up in and now spread them and sweat them and sweat like a pig while we drill in your folks.

Spit, roast it and grilled, smoke, chill, toast it and poach. No beers on the table. We use that to storm pills off of go get a coaster. Why don't you bro? It's your fresh skinny skin. Be believe Jesus out of this, we're gonna save your soul. Come up front, honey, let brother oak rep be by the mola tacos one day hope to be nacho, throw her up for he to be a dream of skinny. I mean, look at me, I'm

Curricial shivery, anyone can't, anyone that Stone us a gentleman, give us a breath, give us a cow, give us your daughters, give us the bone, the dog, and the dog, does it. Please bless us, never won. Baddellon. We ain't got no shoes.

Never to have shoes, he quit smoking that mess. Just let me find out one of y'all some bitch to put a miracle whip in the tacks up, I'm going to whoop somebody's ass. We went to, Ashfield Music Hall? Yeah, Asheville Music Hall, which is the place we always go to when we're in Asheville.

Never not empty, empty as hell. Yeah, as I say, it's the first time we've ever been there. And it's Saturday night, too, we've been there multiple times. And every other time it's been, like, packed to the gills in there. And there's always, like, either a band or a DJ or whatever playing music. And there was last night, too. But last night, it was, yeah, it was a ghost town for whatever reason. Usually it's like a band that's rad.

Yeah, yeah. No, the place hits. And I'm not, I'm never upset when a place isn't packed. No, I had a good time. I was fine with that. That's true. But I was surprised by it, though. No, I had a blast.

We went downstairs and Andy got her a taco, and there was a dude there that I kind of knew from Knoxville, who I used to play basketball with at the Y. He was in town for a wedding, and he was drunk. And you ever just like, you know, you're, hey! And then you're like, I wish I would have done this. Yep. Every time I go, hey, every time. He would not have noticed me. And then he was like, hey!

And he was like, feeling the same thing. We play ball together. There's nothing for us to talk about. Yeah, I have like, I have like pretty unspoken agreements with several people that we, like, we don't hate each other at all. But if we see each other at grocery store, it's very much just like, you know, like, there's, what can we do here? There was like, and I know you and some DJ's here. You and DJ never worked in like an office building. But I'm sure you, like, I don't know how you always felt about that, but that's one of the main things to me about working in an office building is that like,

You're constantly passing people in the hall all the time that you know all these, some of them like on a pretty personal level, but you don't for the most part, like interact with him really. Because you can't because you'd be doing that all the time. But it still makes it kind of sort of weird, or at least it's weird for me, because I'm like awkward in that way. But I don't like it. Like walking past people and it's just like, you just sort of nod. Yeah, I nod too. Do the up nod. How come only for the most part black people do the up nod and we do the down nod?

There's a bit on that. I don't remember what it. As soon as you said the nod, I started trying to think. There was a podcast called The Nod that's about black culture. So like, you know, it's recognized that that's a thing. Yeah. It was somebody saying that something like, like, either we're, is this about to go down or fucking, are we cool or like something like that? This is like, yeah, yeah.

If you got a nod back or like, are you like what's. And the down nod is that kind of like that very awkward white person's face. Like, you know. I was about to bring up a white person's face. But y'all talked about it. and now I find myself doing it. I feel like you probably did it and never realized you did it. Because that's what happened with me.

No, I never knew it was a thing until I saw like the gift. Yeah, and I do it so much. The white person face, which this is a shitty podcast topic because you can't. But just imagine a white person. Yeah.

Well, just acknowledge. Put up a picture of Bryce. Yeah, producer Bryce, rest in peace. His face just always is the standard white person face. Even when he got caught on. on fire and died in that horrible flame.

He was still, he went down making the white person face. As soon as he saw everything was catching on fire, he was just like, it's like a half smirk kind of like an awkward smart nod thing. It's like a what do I do with my hand. It's the face of, well, here we are. Yeah, it is. Well, here we are.

Yep. But like, anyway, I had never once even thought about like doing that until I saw that gift making fun of it. And immediately I was like, holy shit, I do that all I make that face when it's like, you know, like, but like you guys were talking about when you see a stranger and you kind of go. Yeah. It's an elevator.

It's an elevator face, like hugely. When the elevator opens, you're just like. I really don't think I did that. But the reason I think I started doing it after y'all brought it up is because what I think I did is people go like that and I just go. Just stare at it. What? What? What?

What? What? What? What is something mediocre right now? What is happening? Is that what my face makes you do? Yeah. I can say that.

I'm insane. Hello, DJ. Hey, what's that? Hi, DJ. Big week, big week for you. Aliens, let's get into it. You know about this area 51 thing, right? Oh, yeah.

Are you going to catch a ride out there? No, I'll get on. Let them babies out of them cages. That's what I, you know what I'm saying? That's where I'm out with it. Like, that's some bullshit. I already know what's going on in Area 51. I don't need to storm it.

What's going on there? Fucking just a lot of motherfuckers doing science. You know what I mean? That's some motherfuckers. do it. I mean, they got to technology. We know we they've got to technology from all this shit. So they're experimenting. If we went and stormed on it, what we do.

There they are, really? Like, you don't already know. I've seen a lot of people say, and I feel like this makes sense. They're not saying it like they know. It's like a theory, but I feel like it checks out that from the government's perspective, once Area 51 became a thing that everybody knew about, you figure like they'd move all that shit to some other place, and they want, they want, They want Area 51 to be a black site in the public's imagination because that's like a good diversion from the real places that they're keeping shit. Yeah, man, the whole thing when you're, uh, uh, Jackie Gleason, right? When, when, uh, like honeymooners Jackie Gleason?

Yeah, yeah, okay. President Nixon, he, and he swore. This is happening. Yeah, yeah. President Nixon took him in Miami to these underground bunkers. And you can look this shit up, man. It sounds like an old Scooby-Dude. It does.

It does. It sounds like one of those old. It does. Like you can have like Jackie Gleason and Richard Nixon like looking in on the like, but it's true. I am not a crook nor an alien. Right. He said it because they used to, there were great golfing buddies and stuff. So one day, Jackie Gleason says that, you know, Richard Nixon took him out to these bunkers.

So look at all this alien stuff. Bob Lazare has said for years and explained. He said he's never seen an alien. but he's talked about the alien technology. I mean, it's out there, man. Well, that, uh, hold on. The Bob Lazar thing is actually kind of what started all this, sort of. The Bob Lazar's.

So, that does, yeah. The whole Storm Area 51 thing is kind of a result of a Bob Lazar documentary coming out on Netflix and him doing Joe Rogan's podcast to promote said documentary. And so he kind of got in the public eye. And that's sort of when this Area 51 thing that came up out of nowhere. Have y'all watched that? documentary because i have i haven't before we get a documentary explain to everyone listening right now you asked dj are you in you just kind of teased it but i'm not fully aware there's like what

an internet petition there's a plan to march what is it it's like an internet event like where people can sign up to go to this event and there's at this point there's like 800,000 people saying they're going to go so they'll be 35 but the event is we're all all going to show up and we're just storming. We're going into Area 51. They can't stop us all. And we're not doing that with babies in case. That's exactly right.

That's what I've been saying the whole time. It makes me, I have not signed it. I have not signed. By the way, that's, I'm, of course, agree with y'all about that, but you just have to realize who the people are that are signing up on this thing. Also, this is so much more in there. Well, I mean, people who are really into UFOs, I don't think anybody who really, who is into it and has, like, I'm way into it. Like, way into it.

And so, like, I mean, I, like, like, like you said, like, I think people who are, like, for real legit about it are just kind of looking at, like, all right, that's cute. Well, forgive me if I'm stupid. We finally found something DJ's pretentious about. Yeah. Yeah. It's a head-to-up. These motherfuckers don't know shit about UFOs. You wait to this documentary.

We've known this shit since. the 80s. Now, because Netflix come out with it. I'm a UFO hipster. Well, goddamn. I'm telling you. I was believing in the light beams

before the light beams were cool with liquid nitrogen. I also have always been very into UFO shit, reading up on it. But Corey, you're wanting to say something. I'm just saying with these people

who like, the people that are wanting to march on that, they believe there's alien technology and shit there. And, but they, like, if you believe all that

and you believe that's where it is, then like, yeah, I bet they could stop all y'all motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people are saying that too. It's like, uh,

they can totally stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, that's like whole, it's, it's cute and everything. But like, dude,

let's talk about, like, that's great. It's just more of that whole passive. Yeah, we're all gonna do something. No,

you're fucking not. No, they're not. It's the same thing with like any kind of other. It's like, it's just, ugh.

It's gross. It's gross. But I do hope at least some people show up. Oh, me too. Footage of it. Oh, yeah,

and then getting a rubber bullet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just getting drug off. Like, that'll be, you know, hilarious. But, yeah, there's definitely, like, lasers and stuff that they've developed. Yeah, you guys are just going to get disintegrated as you pass a certain life. And no one will give a fuck. Yeah, yeah, no one will give a fuck.

Okay, you can storm Area 51, but, like, how in the fuck are you going to get into those, like, where I'm supposed to actual bunkers and shit. Yeah, dude. But what's you going to do when you get there? Right. They're going to use our cell phones to take these. Well, where do you think your cell phone came from? Space.

You know what I'm saying? So you already got alien technology right now. Shut the fuck up. I don't think they're going to do this because they know they have advance warning because Drew, the event is set for September 20th. So it's not even supposed to happen for months. Oh, good. Tell them when you're coming.

Well, that's what I'm going to say. Dale just told me that Chuck Norris and Keanu Reeves are going. So, I mean, if Chuck Norris is on your team. Keanu Reeves is way. Right. But with a militia? cooler than Chuck Norris. But, like, so anyway,

I'm just saying Chuck Norris could probably beat his way into a cave. I don't think they're going to do this because the government has time to, like, prepare for this stupid bullshit that they'll have no problem squashing. But if they didn't, Area 51 is one of those places that, like, it's posted everywhere and everything. Like, they can just shoot you. Yeah. If you come, because, like, I think I've told this on here before, but, like, it was a big story at the time.

It was years ago when everybody forgot about it. But when I worked in Oak Ridge, at the DOE site, this nun, this old, like, you know, can't hug your children with nuclear arms-style none, like anti-nuke protester. Her and two of her accolites or whatever broke into Y-12 in Oak Ridge,

which is a nuclear weapons complex, very high level of security. It's also one of those places like Area 51, where they're all throughout, they're like, anyway, they broke in, got all the way to the facility and started painting blood all over it, like anti-nuke messages on blood. It was a protest thing. But it was a big deal that they got there.

Like, if they got all the way to the facility, the company, the security company that was in charge of that, Wacken Hut, it was called, they lost their contract. And this is a multi-billion dollar contract that they lost because of that. And the actual, a lot of shitload of people got fired, including the actual guards who finally apprehend. them and the reason the guards got fired is because they did not shoot them when they saw them. Because they just apprehended them and put them in the vehicle and they got fired because their protocol was to shoot the nuns. She's like an 87 year old lady, but the protocol was they were supposed to shoot them on side. I'm thinking 87 year old woman ain't going to have some kind of dangerous. You know what I'm saying?

Every time I see him, me, my mom, he's like, there's a knife. I'm just saying my point is like, they don't fuck around with those facilities like that. You know what I mean? Right, yeah, yeah. But I think because they have all this time to plan, they know it would not be a great look to just slaughter a bunch of neckbeard. She is.

Right, right, right, right, right. But if they had just done it out of nowhere, I believe they'd have slaughtered a bunch of neck bears. Oh, I guarantee. I mean, they kind of would have had to. Like, what the fuck are they there to do? But maybe, and there has been like an extreme spike in, in this type of where the air, force and the military has come out and said listen yeah they're UFOs we're not saying they're from

their alien crafts or whatever but we've had a a bunch of UFO side and there's a bunch of stuff on the on the internet you can find where there's like you know planes uh tracking yeah tracking objects in the air yeah yeah shit is wow yeah it's why okay so but back to lazar though DJ that documentary that i can say bob lazar alien race bob Bobelizzo. Bob Lazar. From your name is Bob Lazar. Okay, like I said, I've also been into UFO shit as long as I can remember.

Since I was a fat dork kid, I'm still a fat dork child. I've been very into that shit. I'm not immediately dismissive of alien stuff. Like, I'm open to believing in it. Right. Absolutely. Well, I, keeping that in mind, I watched that Bob Blazar documentary. Uh-huh.

And I tapped out on it about 75% of the way through because I, I was like, this, this is bullshit. Really? This dude is full of shit. Okay, here we go. He's a lunatic who is talking out of his, I just didn't buy it. I didn't buy it at all. Really?

And I'm predisposed. I turned it on because I was like, ooh, we're about to get some truth. But I thought it was really great. He explained how they were, how, you know, it was moving ground, and the interdimensional, like, how they were actually moving through gravity. And, like, there was this, like, I was. I thought he explained like space travel very well. I thought like that made sense to me.

Well, that's the thing with him is he's one of those, in my opinion, he's one of those particular types of crazy that's like he's very, very otherwise articulate and like intelligent and everything. He does not at all seem like a crazy person. You doesn't present as insane. Other than the things that he's saying to most people are crazy, but like he doesn't seem crazy while saying them. which I think helps to say.

You should start a religion. All I know is, and I was high as hell. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm saying to me that makes it even more egregious, maybe. It depends on what type of high you are. Right. But either way, I got about three-fourths of the way through it, and I was just like, dude, this is horseshit.

Well, the thing about it is, I think it's so minuscule to me what he's talking about. I think he made some good points, and it's like, in the grand scheme of things, I think what he's saying is, He was working for this thing. He got scared for people. He knows that there's some technology and that the government has been hiding. I mean, that's his basic. This is basically.

I believe all that is probably true. Of course it is. That's what I'm saying. Without him even saying. Right, exactly. I just assume that that's all true. Yeah. So the thing with me was, it was like it was no big fucking deal.

Right. What he was saying was no. It was like, it was like, oh, that's neat. You know what I'm saying? 101 alien shit. Yeah, he said a couple of cool things about space travel. For the most part, he's a fucking loser, and he's not a true blue alien lover like that. Well, no, no, let's see what I believe.

Here we go. I don't even really want to get too far into it. Everybody calls the podcast. I'll make a drink to come back. I'd like to cannonball right in the sooner of this motherfucker. I would, I think that we are, what do? I believe, I definitely believe in reptilian. I think it goes back to, all the way back to like Samaria.

It's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They cut yourself off. Hold on. The lizard people. Yeah. Oh, you.

You're saying they are aliens. Are you believing both aliens and the lizard people? Are you saying they're one of the same? There's different types of lizard people in like rays and different types of transomint interdimensional beings. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with it.

And I totally believe that. Like, what is going on here on Earth is like, it's an experiment. You know what I'm saying? We are an experiment created by these. But, like, what we were, first supposed to be, oh, man, this is just going to sound. No, no, no. No. Okay.

God damn, before I get into this, I think it's my best. No, I mean, like, I know that's why I don't talk about a whole bunch. You know, I'm saying? I don't really put it out there, but yeah, man, lizard. I definitely believe, like, most of, like, the whole, you know, the government, I think there's a bunch of, like, for real reptilian lizard people who, you know. Okay. Go further for people who don't exactly know what you mean.

But, like, for people who are literally for the Arunaki, they're called the Arunaki, all right? Just look it up. The Al-Anunaki? Anunaki. Yeah, just look it up, right? Does that just mean lizard person? in another language. Japanese.

So, here's kind of how I feel about the lizard people. By the way, I'm on your team. Because I reference, I reference lizard people all the time. I sort of feel like,

it's a metaphor. Basically, exactly. Basically, to me, they 100% objectively exist. It's just

whether they're literal lizards or not is kind of immaterial, in my opinion. Like, they operate, that they become,

come cold blood. Exactly. So lizard is a good metaphor. They might as well be literal lizard people. And if they actually are, like, what fucking difference does it? Well, you're exactly. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. They still want to put babies in cases. I retract that statement. It would make a difference. That'd be like one gorilla in a zoo saying to the other and being like, it won't matter if we're in a zoo. But you know what I mean, though.

They're shape shifter. The results the same either way. Right, yeah. I totally believe that they're actually lizardly individuals that, you know, that have been here. But also, god, you know, lizardly individuals. They're very lizardly. Well, because I also believe that there's dog people and cats. I do.

I do. I absolutely do. Guerrilla people, plant people. You know what I'm saying? No. That all these things are. Hold on. I know some plant people in California.

And some, it represented in a... So, if this makes you feel better, let me tell you something, I definitely believe that I think is kind of, I guess, weird. The pyramids and all that bullshit. I'm not, that was aliens. I'm not done with what you mean by... What is a cat person? Yeah, no, that, I want to know the further more of that.

Where did the dog people and the cat people not? Where do they fit into the story? The story of this. I have no idea. Maybe they don't even give a damn about Earth. You know what I'm saying? But I just got like... The cat people don't sure don't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They might have it one time and they got to fuck around. You know what I'm saying? Because there's a lot of... But I feel like because I believe that there are other dimensions. I believe that there are other and that... You know, that's another thing they're doing in Oak Ridge? There's a scientist in Oak Ridge literally trying to open a portal to another dimension.

In the first thing... Oak Ridge is a wild fucking place. Yeah, they... And they just storm that, you know. They won't shoot you there. If you an old lady No, they will now Yeah

They wouldn't then, they will now They'd shoot DJ if he just looked at the film Oh yeah Oh shit when I'm got out Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah I'd be like, let me back in

Like wait I've been out here for hours This is all like his son Yeah Yeah It's different here This is weird Yeah

So wait Okay There's cat people In other dimensions Are there cat people here I don't know that. I know lizard people are more, they're more of like trying to control and like... Does this have anything to do with DMT?

Well, it's very funny you should ask. Well, there's a reason. There's a specific reason I ask. Right, because what it mainly affects is your perennial gland, which is the closest gland that we have in our brains to lizard, to, you know, co-blooded reptilian. left over from when we were cold blood. It's vestigial.

Exactly. Exactly. I don't know what that word is. It means. It means. It means what you just said. So the reason I asked that. I mean, this is even like Sturgle

Simpson's song. Turgall alien's made a lot. Cuts you open, pull out all your pain. There's a lot of people, like, more than one example of people smoking DMT and meeting reptile creatures who talk to them. Sometimes they say nice things.

And then there's like some gnarly examples of them like, fucking with them hardcore like you know probing their assholes and stuff yeah they'd be doing that that'd be what I'd guarantee you that yeah I've never done DMT

and the reason it's like it ain't gonna go the fairy tale way it's gonna be me getting butt-fucked by a sword or something same well not the sword completely same and that's why I haven't done it and if you really want to be fucking terrified there's a theory out there now

that that's what the afterlife yeah I heard that is the DMT drip releases in your brain when you die right Yes, every bit that you have. And you get a little bit every night and it helps you drain. So if it pumps all of it's their brain. But that's just the plane. See, everything is, it's...

Hold on. We'll get your theory in a minute, but I want to finish scaring Corey. Okay. So the idea is, because I can't live with this by myself. So the idea is... No, I've heard this. You get pumped full of it. Yeah.

And then you have essentially a dream right before you die that last 10 seconds. But it feels to you. It feels like an entirety. it lasts for a fucking eternity. Right. And what if that dream's down on it? Yeah. So that's hell.

What if it's a nightmare? That's a little bit comforted. Like that's better to me than literal hell. But how would you know for sure? Not to me. Because how bad I freak out just don't weed? Well, I mean, if this is all a mental thing, I don't think you'd actually be able to feel hellfire. Now, that's 100.

But you can be scared and miserable. I live scared. But yeah, that wouldn't hit. For me, that's going to be very much a, I have no mouth and I'm a scream situation. Like, it's going to be. going to be fucking torturous. But it could hit. Maybe we just got smoked DMT to see what happens.

But then after that, it's over. It will end. It might feel like 800 years, but then it'll end. Jesus, son. See what I mean? That don't hit. No. Attorney's the worst thing I've ever heard of.

It's that. They told me at a very young age, and I told them to go fuck themselves. Yeah, I hear you. They were like, don't you want? And I was like, nope. And they're like, but heaven, I go, fuck you. Nothing. Nothing good nor bad.

Hey, we get to live forever. Who wants to do that? You're stupid. Yeah. AJ, planes. Plains. And I'm assuming not like the winged variety. You said that's just a different plane.

You started talking about planes. Oh, yeah, you, yeah, yeah. Again, of existence, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You said that's just a different plane. Yeah, consciousness is existence. What we perceive is definitely what is real. Sure.

So, like, but everything's cyclical. It's like, you know, we're evolving, you know, blood, you know, consciousness moving in and out of different phases. and planes and then this is like everything else in the entire universe. I mean, you look around, you know what I mean? There's a plant, do. It's seasons, every, you know, et cetera, et cetera.

So this was life death. It's not in the same part. Because I totally believe in reincarnation. Oh, no, I do too. So, like, that all goes back into that. So you're not going to be staying in that one state. You know what I'm saying? No, it's going to feel like it is what I'm afraid of.

God damn, I mean, goddamn, you know. How long has it felt like you've been alive right now? I know. It don't hit. Too long? If you do DMT and it seems. It seems like it's a long time, but also there's just a point where you can just open your eyes and end it. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're kind of aware? Not always. How much are you aware? I'm just wondering if, like, because we've had this conversation, if when that happens, some part of my brain can go, oh, this is just the DMT mess right before you die. Let's go ride a unicorn or whatever, you know? Right. Is it like lucid dreaming where you can, like, kind of control the narrative?

That would be right. It really, really scare you really back at it. It does feel like you're dying. It feels like your body's just like it. Oh, that's fun. that was fucking terrified that girl i don't want to miss her name your friend that talked to us about that dm t she was talking about how she felt like she died when she did it but she and she was scared but now she feels so much calmer about death and that's how it is death though never has been

you know it's the idea of not getting to death i'm fine with death i don't dying because i don't know how that's going to be like i just don't hurt yeah i just don't hurt drown like something like But like the thought of like, hey, snap your fingers and then you don't exist anymore. Nothing is more comforting to me. I just know I'm not going to get that goddamn lucky. For me, I still haven't let go of the notion that there is something else. And so what scares me is that I'm going to wake up afterwards. Like, snap my fingers, it's over, and then I pop right back up.

And then all of a sudden you're 10 and they've restarted you at your last checkpoint or something. And you've got to fucking do this shit again. But you won't do it. It's like in the body that you've got right now in your own conscience. Thank God. The whole reincarnation thing, like... How literal do you mean it? But also, like, like you just said, even when that does happen, you're not going to have any...

Any semblance of awareness of it having happened. Absolutely. Well, so, you're... For all intents and purposes, you're dead. You will have died. Yes, certainly. Even if, like, reincarnation is a thing in your soul or whatever is transported into... It's something.

else if you're not aware of it which i'm pretty sure is a universal tenant of reincarnation is that you're not aware of it because you couldn't marry people be walking around talking about it right exactly exactly so it does you died like who you were is dead so no matter what what kind of you know fatal you are now or whatever like what you think you are essentially because i feel like essentially that there is a spirit or so you know what i'm saying and right now we're just is it separate than mine uh no not not no no no no no No, but like, but your consciousness is. I know that.

So, so, so you're, and I've said it, you know, ethereal mass of consciousness being hurtled to the finite conditions of time and space, you know what, saying in all this. Is that an Alan Watt's quote? That old show. No, that's a DJ Lewis original. Okay. DJ. Huh. I've talked about this once for a long time ago, but there's an added element to it now and you weren't here for it.

So, consciousness, right? Yeah. All right. Imagine that teleportation now exists. like and it's it's like universal there's basically no cars or playing through anything anymore we teleport everywhere and you have booked shows in london england and so you go to the teleportation depot at chattanooga every morning and teleport to london to go do your shows and then or not every morning every night teleport to your shows and come work can i get a job there this is a job

oh yeah we go anything yeah that's a job but yeah but yeah but i got grocery store You were working in a produce section in a Gloucestershire or whatever. That's fine. DJ's dream. I want to sell fucking apples and London and come home to Chickamauga, baby. Cool to own like a little shop or something, like a little. This is taking the turn. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm not. Fuck performing and doing a small business sound. Fuck performing and doing shows. You know what would be cool? Did I be a comler? Okay. So anyway, the way it works, like a lot of.

One of the most popular ideas for how teleportation would theoretically work is like you step in this machine, you are disassembled down to the molecular level and like your atoms and all that. And then on the other end, you are reassembled into this new place, right? but so let's say you go into you go in there one night to go do your show and you know the laser goes all the way up your body and it don't work you're just you're still standing there nothing happens and you're like well this don't hit so you go out to the lady at the desk and you're like hey teleporter's busted you know you need a refund or whatever and she says well actually sir according to this uh you know you came out the other side just fine and she shows you like the security camera from the london office and it shows you

beaming in and just walking off and going to the comedy club or the you know so it literally or the haberdash or whatever yeah yeah yeah what a great word and you're still standing but you are still standing there and chattanooga and she's like no you got to report back in there for you know disassembly yeah because the process worked the version of you that came out the other end is going to 100% think and believe that it is you. Because it's going to have every memory you've ever had of everything up until the moment it stepped in. Well, I have my memory, but will I have my, like, and I do believe in, like, a spiritual, like, weird, can, like, okay, can it disassemble that? What makes that?

And so, like, so, there's even people who've said, like, because you have to think about, like I said, from that, from that version of you's perspective, anybody that questions it it's going to be like, no, I was DJ Lewis. I was born and, you know. I'm the real one.

What, yeah, for, yeah, he's going to 100% believe that. This is a Bruce Willis 90s movie. You're going to be sitting there saying, well,

actually it's the prestige. Oh, right. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a major plot point in that movie. Yeah,

yeah, that's true. I'm going to do it. But anyway, taking it further, though, like the whole consciousness is what makes you who you are or whatever. Like,

some people have asked, like, when you get, like, put under anesthesia or something like that. Like, what if you're like, consciousness is like obliterated, basically? When you're put under?

Yeah. Because, like, have you ever, have you been under anesthesia? Yeah. I have. Yeah. It don't hit for me. It's insane.

It's like time to, it's like you disappear. Yeah. And then just come back. It hit for me. And even it, but I would have, I just had surgery not long ago.

I have no way of like knowing. This is like a thought experiment. I don't believe that this happened. But I'm saying like, I really have no way of knowing. That you're still you? That I know exactly what you made. The guy that laid down on that table and got put under that that guy didn't just vanish completely and never woke up. And then this now, this copy of me woke up.

And I remember everything, you know, because I would. Yeah. But what copied you? Right. Yeah. All the time. But yeah. So many things.

You mean besides just the regular stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is anything new missing? No, I don't think so. It feels like it'd be weird. It'd be weird to be. How weird do you feel when you wake up, though, from surgery? And by the way, I try to fight everybody.

Which means I'm still the same guy. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fine, everyone. Yeah, don't worry. He punched a nurse. He's okay. He swung a bedpan and an old woman.

I wake up confused. than in bite or flight, and I have no memory. They tell me these stories. I'm just awful to people. I jerk shit out of my arm. They're like, you can't leave. I'm like, you fucking watch me right now.

My mom tried to calm me down. I tell her to shut up. I'm a horrible person, so, no, I feel like it's the same. I'm going to isolate that track and put it on loop. I guarantee that. I was absolutely. The last time I went under, as for surgery on my hand,

and I remember, I remember when I was coming to you. I was just like this, and I was telling her, everybody about Indiana Jones. Which one? I was dissected all the Indiana Jones, and I remember going like, am I talking about Indiana Jones?

And they were like, yep. And it's the most normal conversation we have ever had with you. I came to eating a hamburger, and I remember coming too, because I was having to do it. I've come to eating a hamburger. Well, I said, where does hamburger come from? And my mom looked at me kind of sideways, like, what? And she was like, you demanded that they bring you a hamburger. And I go, what?

And she goes, they told you you can't have anything to eat because you have to do another surgery. And you told them you weren't doing shit. And I quote unquote, until they brought you a goddamn hamburger. And they told you. What a nightmare, boy. And they told them how to do your goddamn job. You know what? It will probably kill him.

Let's get a hamburger. Listen. Listen. So I'm like, what? And she's like, yeah, and they told you that you didn't need a hamburger that you'd get sick, and I puked as she was saying. And then, and then I'm in ICU that night, and they had put like this real gnarly, I had a blood clot.

That's the insane clown unit for anybody. Yeah, I was an insane clown unit. 10%. And I had a real, thawley blood thinner in my blood. That's why I had to be in ICU because they were trying to get rid of all the clots. I pissed black And they had told me I would piss back That hamburger came straight out your dick

They had told me I would piss My kidneys were bleeding They had told me that would happen But I forgot So I'm like what the fuck And my mom was in there And they hadn't told her Well my mom starts crying

Like tears are coming down her face I think now I think I'm dying Like we get Andy on the phone I'm hitting the button This nurse comes in there She turns every light on It's like three in the morning I'm very out of it

She turns every light on It's super bright You know how hospitals are and just opens with, oh, do you need a little attention? Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm a peed black. Oh, did you pee a little black? It's got you worried. I got a baby next door is hanging on for her poor little dear life.

But I guess I could come help you. I heard how mean you were to my friends. If you fuck with me, I'm going to kill you. I have the drugs to do it. Hell yeah. I just started dying laughing. And I loved it because almost immediately. Was she black or a redneck?

Redneck. Okay. It would remind me. It could have gone either way. Remind me of my aunt Barb who's a nurse. It's who it reminded me of. And it made me feel better immediately, even before I realized what was happening, because no one talked to you that way if you're dying.

Right. Like as soon as she started being meeting. Nobody talks to most people that way if you're dying. Oh, I'm fun. You're right. Yeah. I'm going to be all right. Yeah.

For sure. DJ. What about that consciousness shift, though? Hell yeah. I'm with it. Hell yeah. I like it. I want me some.

Would you I won't be some? Would you teleport if you knew that the No, I wouldn't teleport. Like a clone version of you? I wouldn't teleport. No,

ever since that that first became a thing that I had even thought about had that presented to me from that moment, I was like, I'm never teleporting. Right.

Yeah, no, yeah. What a rule? Okay. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. So not. this because like there's the alternate situation where you're, the thing shows up on the other side, but you also, you didn't just stay there.

Like you actually went through and then it shows up, but it's still not you. Well, that's supposed to be sort of the point. Okay. The thing is that it's never been you. Right. Every single time you've ever done it, you die. And that's fine. That's fine.

What I'm saying, what I'm suggesting is, isn't that kind of, if that truly happens, like the you that is you, zaps, and then this other thing goes on believing it's you, that's literally the perfect suicide because you get to die but your family doesn't have to be devoid of you you know what I mean they get this maybe shittier version of you that's all like on this

that has no... Did you hear my story? The next version will be way better DJ. Can't not be. It's yeah but the assumption I feel like is that no one's going to know

I know that. You get to die though. Yeah but you're not doing You're not making that choice. You're not making the choice. You think you're just going to Paris for a day or whatever, and you commit suicide. Well, then accidentally it would hit real hard. Yeah, I don't, no.

If we got the technology to make portal machines, why don't we just make sense? Now, portals are different. Portals are different. Well, we ain't asked. Yeah, we have. Yeah, we haven't. He wasn't on it, but me and you got into it. If we could make teleportation devices.

Yeah, I put my own butt, maybe. If we've got, if we got technology to make like a teleportation device, Why don't we just make something like a cannon that it just shoots you where the fuck you need to go? What's going to catch you? Those like tubes at the ride-day? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to bank check me to fucking live, baby. Go down the tube station.

Yo, there's a restaurant. You're out in Seattle. There's this burrito place. That's in Futurama. Man, you get stuck halfway to Djibouti because there's this bullshit and fucked up. I don't remember where it was, but I was reading about it. There's a burrito. booty.

You got to get our guy in here. There's a burrito place that opened up, and they bought an old bank. That's where the burrito is. And when you go through the drive-thru, they will fucking shoot a burrito down. Yeah. And it comes out to ATM. I'm trying to think of the amount of money I wouldn't pay for that burrito. I may, dude.

They could charge $22 for a regular-ass burrito. And I'll be like, yeah, I got to have it. That's why I'm thinking about, like, if you ever see a bank closing down, like how much for me to get one of them, just buy the whole tube situation, put it at my house. You know what I'm saying? He's putting everything in there. Every, dude.

You please believe everything. Polaroids of his dick, that's what I say. God damn it. Ambers in the living room. Immediately. Did you get it? Yes, I fucking got it. There it.

It didn't. Oh, my God. But no, but again, I'm, okay, we'll go on with portals. You're talking about how portals are different. like in what way? I just, because you're just walk through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't, you're not being disassembled. The fabric of space time is what's disassembled. You just, you just walk through.

That's what's up. That's what's up. Yeah, that's where, I'm fucking portals all day. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we know, we've been over that.

Yeah, there's no need to go back in to it. Didn't, didn't you, didn't you come back on that though? Didn't you decide that you indeed would fuck your own butt if you could?

Uh-uh. With a portal, I thought you said. it was the future version of yourself. You were like absolutely no way. Oh, I admitted. I would definitely try that with a portal. Because that's different. I didn't think I'd like it.

That is different. Yeah, it's super different. I don't like it. You'd half like it. You'd half like it. You'd half like it for sure. I'd have no qualms against it. I don't think I'd enjoy that because I can't.

I've tried, buddy, I've tried. The whole like, it feels super good if you get them to massage your prostate or whatever. I want to feel that orgasm. I can't stand it. As soon as anything gets, I got, I got problems, bro. I got butt problems. Yeah. You guys know about them.

How's your butt? Good. Speaking of butts, I got something to show y'all. Okay. Oh, oh, shit. Oh, right. Damn, I don't forgot about this. Should this be set up at all first?

Yeah, set it up. Yeah, well, I need to remind people what has happened. Right. So, DJ has a nonprofit that he started and works with called y'all. Well, yes. He was trying to raise money for it back in the day. No, that was for the haven where it's at. That was for the children's defense fund.

Okay. Children's defense fund. I was just like seeing it and was raising money and doing stuff. And I said if we raise, what was it, 5,000, 2,000? Something like that. I don't actually remember. I'll get a tattoo of okra on my, did I say my ass or my body? You said your ass.

You said your ass. Okay. And I was always planning on doing it, but I wanted to do it with DJ. And the first chance we got was the last time we were in North Carolina, but then we didn't have a chance. We were like literally waking up at noon, driving three hours, doing a podcast, doing a show, blah, blah, blah. Right. But of course, you know, our fans on Twitter didn't believe that.

They thought I was trying to back out. Yeah, you caught a lot of shit. Oh, not just your fans on Twitter, May too. And May. For the record. I was never not planning on doing it. Y'all didn't think I was going to do it? I mean, after a while, it got to the point where I was like, I bet he thinks we're going to forget about that.

Because I pulled that shit, by the way. That's not a knock on you. Like, I get it. Like, getting a tattoo on your butt's a fucking big commitment. And if nobody remembers, fucking. I hear you. but you also know how I am. We're like, you know what I mean?

Like, if I say I'm going to do something, you know what I mean? Well, I mean, I have a tattoo on my butt literally because of if I say I'm going to do something and I'll do it. But like it's still. Also, it was titties. It was titties. Which we've decided. It's kind of like I got my butt tattoo for charity. You got yours for titties.

That's similar. Yeah, because her name was charity. There it is. Yeah. Anyways, go ahead, Drew. Well, I mean, I was always planning on doing it. But then about four people on Twitter, to me just got so fucking annoying. Which, by the way, 50% of our.

fan base so yeah that's that's a lot of more people in that well then i then i realized i told him i'd get a tattoo of ochre on my ass if they paid money i did not say they could see it so that's what i've been telling them lately is they i'm gonna do it but y'all can't see it so i think what i'm gonna do is i'm about to show y'all this tattoo of okra and you can tell people whether it's cool and we're seeing and then y'all got to give dj more money i that's just that's how i've decided and you can give it to the children's defense fund or whatever the fuck you want to Give it to whoever's like fighting ice right now. We got a couple of gay fans.

Let's figure out somebody who's doing something wonderful. We got a couple of gay fans who will write that check just betwixt themselves if it's to see your ass. I want to shout him out. Back when I said. Wait, hold on. Go ahead. Is that what you just said? What?

You'll send a, you'll let anybody say it that will donate money to something? Yeah. Okay. I thought you meant just me and hint. You're like, I'm going to show y'all, but you got to give money to. a charity. It's like, oh,

fuck that. Whatever. I'll pull your breaches off right now, boy. So you're saying anybody that wants to see it

can donate to a charity. This is literally how porn stars work on Snapchat. If you'll do you a picture of your ass. Yeah, give it a fan chat.

I mean, I didn't realize I was saying that. Well, I guess that is what I'm saying. No, no, what I was thinking is that we would find

a charity, set a goal. When we hit the goal, I'll just release the picture. That's good, doesn't that feel less sturdy? Yeah,

to spread my butt hole up? $20,000. How much for you to spread? Actually, my student loan is $68,000. That's what I've gotten it down to at this point. I would spread my butt hole right now for that much money. I bet you could. I heard that.

So, anyway. You have to sit there with it like that for a minute, but when I first said anything about this, a fan who's a fan of the podcast, Louis or Lou Campa. who works at traditional tattoo in Slow in San Luis Obisco. I hope I said that right, just north of L.A. Bispo, right. He does great work. They're traditional tattoos, so hit him up.

I wanted to shout him out, and I really appreciate it. Back then, he was like, I'll put ochre on you for free. Well, I hit him up when I was going to do it before this trip and was like, look, I want two tattoos. And he's like, I'll do him both for free. And I was like, no, let me pay you. And he was like, no. Anyway, great guy. And I did make him take some money, but he does great work.

You guys have seen this one. I got the Raven on my arm because I said, what if I did Bonaroo? And now I'm about to show you what is actually my favorite tattoo. This one is one I've wanted forever and picked and designed myself and blah, blah, blah. This fucking thing I'm about to show in my ass is the raddest thing I've ever done in my life. Pull them down. Drum roll.

Scrum roll. Oh, yeah. That's what's up, dude. It's got boxing gloves on and little booties. It's a fight-in-up. Well, I don't know if you guys heard that, but my dad just walked over here to look at Drew's ass, which is wild enough as it is. My dad thought that we were saying that he was going to get Oprah tattooed on his ass.

And, I mean, that would have hit. So that is the fighting okra of Delta State University. And Delta State University is known. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Delta State University is known as the statesman. That's their mascot. In the 80s, late 80s, early 90s, the student body was like, that's a dumb fuck mascot.

It's boring. It's not scary. Let's pick a new one. And someone drew a figure similar to that and sent it into the school newspaper, and that won the contest. Now Delta State in Lower Mississippi, I think it's called Cleveland, Mississippi, is now the fighting okra. So it hits for me in a lot of ways because, you know, he's fucking fighting. You are the fighting okra.

That's right. Yeah, no, that's a rad fucking tat too. Well, he was showing his friend. He was like, look, man, we don't care. We've seen it all. But like, I've been telling my friends about this one. Yeah, of course. Ain't nobody I know ever done a fighting ochre.

On my butt. Well, that hits. So we'll figure out the charity, and I'll tell everybody this week, and it'll make those people who annoy me even angrier so that helps because I'll make them pay more money you do it do it anything you have I mean that's where I'm for you I if y'all have tell us more yeah while we're here tell us what you're doing right now I'll wait for them for the haven to move but man that's the whole thing and I don't necessarily know uh Christians man they can't get anything right I'm I'll tell you they will something so fast here we go they will man and uh there's a lot there's a lot

problems that I'm having with them, especially being able to teach what I'm trying to teach. Still teaching, still working with the kids, but I want to work deeper into the system and kind of get away from, of course, the homeless community is a totally different thing, and I can work with them and then through the Haven at a transitional center and try to, like, figure out how that's going to work. But with, like, the youth in the area and stuff like that, we're going to have to go a different direction and get away from the haven right now. Not that it's a, it's a, uh, the Christian, uh, uh, the Christian, uh, uh, place.

They're, their, their church. Yeah. They're, they're a faith base. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't want to say anything bad. I don't want to say anything bad. I don't want to make a say like that, but they have policies they have. Oh, I'm sure they don't hit. Yeah. Well, it doesn't hit for what I, and then when I have to.

when I'm going into certain things and then I'm being corrected in weird ways that like, well, I'm not being corrected, but like, is it like, is it like, is it like bureaucracy? Is that what it is? There's some of that. There's some of the churches in, uh, in, in the area don't want certain things going on there that's like, it, I feel like needs to be done. They don't want anything said badly about the church or like what the church believes or things. things like that. I'm in there teaching these kids to hell Satan. Well, I mean, not necessarily hell Satan, but I'm like, I'm saying, you know, you definitely need to, you know, that's good, but like if somebody's teaching you to hate somebody

else, you don't need to listen to what that person's saying. If they're telling you. And they don't want that? Can you believe it? Can you believe it's come to this? They want their rehab or their outreach programs to be an extension of the church, which means all of the church's ideas. And with the kids, too, and it's hard to say that because, like, they're breeding a

lot of weird stuff that I don't really necessarily agree with. Yeah. So, and I'm not saying anything bad about them. I'm saying we have two different points of people and their philosophy ain't going to job. Yeah, not with it, not with the use working with the youths in that area.

With the homeless people. It's like being married to someone, but you have different ideas of how to raise the kid. That's exactly what it's like. You got to let up, dog. Yeah, dog. So we're going to have to, we're going to have to do that. And, but that's fine because there's 100,000 different places to in different programs,

get involved in that want to be involved and want to work together and we've had I've had so much success and so much support and so much like it's all it's just it's been so wonderful so it's not like a so anyways I've been on a hiatus right now for a while and uh and it's just finding different people to get involved in finding another place and another activity and stuff like that so yep cool we was uh well we was on portals and I thought wearing at me well I thought there was some in my brain house in there like did we did we do you know all that and I don't know how long. Just when DJ got finished, I just looked at Joe and he was just staring holes through me.

I hadn't spoken in minutes. That's why. Fucking you chime in. How about that? That's what that was. Well, and then he's like portals. I was just saying about fucking my phone. Well,

I didn't know if we tied up all the loose ends in space and consciousness because DJ was on a goddamn roll there talking about dog people. And then we got off on fucking ochre butt, which we needed to do. And that was fine. I wanted to make sure that we'd tied up all the portal those sins because that was really good. What about, like, the dog people and stuff like. Yeah, exactly. What about them?

Well, if, like, if we have dogs here, there's a different parallel. If there's parallel universes and in different dimensions and stuff like that, okay, then there's like a, there's like dog people. There's like a planet of dog motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? Going to work every day, putting on ties and like, you know what I'm saying? Just being dogs. I'll be so depressed if we go to a world, if I ever went to a world where there was dog motherfuckers and they still wore ties

I'd be so sad dude well I wouldn't think that I don't think that that's what's like going on there but you guys think that's hilarious well yeah yeah the one time the time that I've had the most fun and gotten the most out of mushrooms I was at this big hippie party and part of what happened that night was

me we were all on shrooms and me and my buddy Charles y'all on Charles he uh we started this thing I don't even remember why and it's like it's not funny really in a vacuum but it was just we started this thing where we were acting out like an anthropomorphic bear who worked in an office building oh sure yeah so it was like a it was a bear with like he had like a you know like a suit jacket and tie but no pants yeah no they never have pants and he carried a briefcase and he was just walking around asking you know janet about her

weekend or whatever and like making coffee and stuff all totally monday but he just was a bear. Right. And that was the funniest god damn thing that anybody had ever conceived of in that moment. Of course. I mean, Charles, were like on the ground laughing, thinking about this office bear or whatever. Especially the no-pants part. Well, no, the dogs wouldn't wear pants either.

Why would they? Have you seen that thing? Which way would they wear? How would they do it? Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That illustration is how would. a dog wear pants?

How would a dog wear pants? You know how to wear shirts? Everybody knows that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but the pants, that's a little, that's something. I'm saying, like, if you're going to think, like, in terms of, like, this is possible, then you might as well just throw away, like, saying, oh, there are all over big dog people. You can't fucking, why wouldn't there?

So you believe in infinite, infinite realities. Yeah, because, I mean, and if there are infinite realities, then, yeah, there's definitely a reality where dogs go to work and fucking, I guess, humans sit at home and shit everywhere. Or, like, they not go to work in that sense, but, like, that they are, they're the top race but why not I mean wouldn't they have jobs and go to work

yeah that's how you get to that's how you get to be the top yeah yeah dog baristas and you think about like what would they do like would they be still sniffing each other's butts in the morning

to like say what's up would they still be doing like you know if one of the the female dogs is in heat would like everybody is it still outside her door all day like how would that work

I mean it'd be interesting to think about that do you watch do you watch Bojack Horseman. On and off. Oh, dude. Yeah, that's my job. I figured out that show would hit real hard for you to me because it's so.

If it's not space. It's so wild. But it's spacey. It's kind of space. It's like, it's very psychological and like, I mean, it's fucking wild, man. But they make so many great jokes about if animals were anthropomorphic, what would the implications of that be? They have so many great moments based on that in that show.

I fucking love that show I know a lot of Man dude there's just something about and I do not know what it is but like if it ain't really about like either alien or just like a show that like Stranger Things God dude

there's something about Hits for you or no no no absolutely not I love that show absolutely not How does that not hit for you? For one I feel like I'm being Indermational fucking demons and shit I feel like I'm being sold everything Dude I feel like everything Like product placement I'm being done

product. I'm being sold in like nostalgia. They are doing it. But they're seeing Pint 15? No. I don't know what it is. But the way that they do nostalgia in that, like in the 90s, said it in that 90s and they've got, dude, it's not so aggressive. Strangest things, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's laid on thick.

And it's, uh, and I can't see past. But it's, but I, I very, it's cheesy. I very much think that's by design. Well, it is, I mean. That's how those 80s movies and stuff. That's how they work. Yeah. It's the Spillbergie thing.

And so I feel like they do it on purpose and it works for me. I mean, I do feel like too, like when you're like a symptom of doing a period piece, like a nostalgia thing is like that, that's how you associate. Oh, this is a time we're in is by like the product or something like that. Like, oh, that's the old Coke can. Like that's just how that is. And I mean. Like a whole Coke commercial. There was.

The Coke commercial. The Coke commercial thing, I know exactly what you're talking about. And even for that show, that was a bit fucking much. Dude, that one scene didn't really hit for me. But otherwise, though, I love that fucking show. It's like one big long Super Bowl, I had, dude, is what it's like for me. And I just, there's like great special effects. I enjoy looking at it, but I've got, I can't, like, I can't process, you know what I'm saying?

I can't process, like, what they're doing? Because I can't see past all they're just, like, you know what I mean? All the product, like, all the, all the, all the, all the just, like, consumerism and, like, all the capitalism. like I said, I do know what you mean, but I feel like most of that is pretty well on purpose because of the fact that that's how that shit just used to be. After this last season, I was trying to, that's why I watched the last, I've seen all the seasons. And it's kind of been like, always like, okay, but okay, cool. But after this last season, man, dude, you couldn't have put, you can't put, like, they put Burger King, like, how many people are. involved in this. You know what I'm saying? And like

in the Coke commercial, it just seems like they're trying to sell something. They are. They are. I know I get it. Coke announced their partnership with Stranger Things. Netflix is because Netflix doesn't have commercials and they can't have... Netflix, they play Texas.

Like, they can't have commercials, but they're finding a way. Netflix, it's not just Stranger Things. They're going to do that with like all of their shit. They're selling ad space to companies that they had to put it into the show because they don't do commercial so product placement is the options that they have it'll be like a bunch of Super Bowl like I don't want to

yeah dog that like that shit is car for the course anymore like I know that consumer it don't hit for me either right he still hates it though like even if that's how it is I can't say that it's just part for the course to just like buy into I can say I can agree with you that that's the way that it's done but like I'm not I'm not sure I'd rather watch Hulu Amazon there's like so Let me say, you know, there's so many more different options. But I guess, though, that's going to end up being the same thing. You pay money and they still have commercials unless you pay them even more. They, no.

Have you seen Catch Twos too yet? None of them are no better than the other ones, mine, as far as that shit goes. I said, oh, well, I'm sorry. They're not. They're all massive corporations that are going to get your money in any way they can get it. I expand, dude. No, I want to. Hulu is putting out some fire.

I thought they just got bald. I didn't hear to tell you. They did. They have been putting it out. But they're going to still exist. The act, Patricia Arquette, dude, man. I mean, I've been watching. Oh, the act is what's her face?

Patricia Arquette, what's the girl with the- DJ, let me ask you this. Yes, I damn it. Candy Rainbow. Yeah, it was my Mommy Dead and Dearest. It's that story. I haven't seen the show yet, but I watch that documentary, and I have so many fucking thoughts.

Yes, but you should see Patricia Arquette. I guarantee it. Dude, oh, buddy. First off, that little girl, or not be in jail. Well, that's number one. No, Mary a little girl need to be in jail. No, but it's bad. Oh, I know what you're talking about.

She killed me. I'm going to. DJ, I want you. For people that have not seen. I know what you're talking about. She's like crazily abuses her kid. She gets, it's a munchausen or whatever. Right.

I can't fuck with shit like that. But it's- I'm telling you, man. I read about it. I heard it's good, but I can't. It's not just. See the way that she did her act. Dude, watch her act in that and watch her be her mom.

And the girl be the kid. And the dude, all, they all, everybody in there did. That whole thing is just so expertly just. The only part of that I'm interested in seeing is when they kill her. For everybody that does not know, this is based on a, fuck that mom. This is based on a true life story. The documentary was on HBO. It was called Mommy Dead and Dearest where this woman can't remember her name, but she's there in Louisiana.

And she is, I mean, a goddamn lunatic sociopath and convinces her daughter her entire life. not only convinces her daughter her entire life that she's sick literally somehow I fucking don't know still can't wrap my head around it convinced she would go to several she would doctor shop and do all this shit and like convince doctors like oh I'd already seen this other guy here I've got this file she's got this disease or whatever

and they would legit prescribe her medication for shit she did not have just because this woman and she convinces the daughter she does it the daughter is literally confined to a goddamn wheelchair and is convinced that she cannot fucking walk until it all kind of unravels and then all the sudden

like, oh, wait, I'm fucking fine, and my mom has been doing this bullshit to me. And then, yeah, her and her, this dude she meets on the goddamn internet, go stab her mom to death. And in my opinion, how the fuck was she not going to do that? She just realized that her mom had held her in captivity for 20 fucking years. We were talking about this with David Joy two days. There used to be laws. If people needed killing and you could prove they needed it, you'd get way less time.

They still do that in Texas. That bitch needed killing. Yeah, I agree. list time. And like who else? There's something wrong with defects. There's something wrong with our medical, our medical, like all that. There's a lot of people who allowed a lot of bullshit to go down.

They shouldn't have been had a feeding tube in her for as long as they had. I just don't. A doctor should have, there should have been people. How did they not? Like what the fuck is going to get the insurance money or like doing. Yeah. The fuck ever not giving a fuck just doing surgeries and shit and fucking, they're just this fucking guilty for fucking feet. Absolutely.

As I every one of the other. 100%. But I don't like, she literally would just, she'd have a goddamn chart. And she'd take, go here, she's got this, this, I've got on. She had somewhat of a chart. Now, she said most of the chart got lost in Katrina. And that was her shit. But dude, you got to think those doctors had patients who did have charts lost in Katrina,

who did have. If you're a doctor. Let me finish. And you examine her. And then you got to, and then they move places. And they've been through all this bullshit. You think there ain't doctors that have people who. lost charts in Katrina,

had to move, because people had to move, poor people, had to leave New Orleans because they didn't have a place to live anymore. They show up, they don't have chart,

they don't have good insurance. I mean, you think those doctors didn't experience that shit? I bet they did. I know what they did. I'm saying, why didn't they do some?

Rediagnosed. Exactly. Hell, man, I can't get a goddamn Aberprofriend if I broke my goddamn colorbone. But how does a doctor tell your legs work?

What's the doctor? What do you do to... You make that bitch, you make a bitch stand up? You make her, you put her in there. How do you know what I'm saying? How you make sure that leg ain't broke?

No, man. Can you go to the doctor? Put her in therapy. 99% do tests. 99% of diagnoses in every country, every culture, because this is how comes from what you tell the doctor's going on. That's true. And then you do blood tests. That's all you could do is a blood test.

Let me tell you, if a child came into my office. Yeah, wait. Let's think about DJ's doctor. All right. Dr. Lewis up in his motherfucker, all right? Okay. And you say, this child's all fucked up, right? I'm going to have to be like,

technical term. I'll be like, number one, number one, we're going to find out exactly if, because, like, there's cures, there's other things that we can do. So we need to reexamine her from head to toe and figure out what we can do here at our hospital because we might have different, there's so many different, dude. Right, that's true. You know what I'm saying? There's so many different reasons why.

Like, I do believe you're sick. I blame a lot of this on the doctors and the medical drug. You're saying even if they thought she was sick and, she was sick, then they should be examining or try to figure out a new way to cure her. Like, we should be doing something. DJ is dancing in the hotel room. It's awesome. Well, I feel like there's...

You're right. I completely agree with that, baby. It reminds me of a friend of the podcast, Joe Zimmerman, that joke of his. He's like, and it's on one of his old albums, so, you know, he's like, I went to the doctor and I told the doctor, I think I might have ADD. Yeah. And the doctor goes, okay, do you have health insurance? I said, yeah, he goes, yeah, you got it. Yeah, that's exactly right.

That's exactly right. And they do it, man. I mean, it's been proven, God, dude, here recently, I was reading an article and like, something, like, I don't know where it was. Oh, you know what? I'm not even going to repeat this. Dr. Lewis Medical Journal? Yeah, this could be what I'm about to spit out of my mouth could be complete bullshit from a fucked up article

and I'm not even going to repeat the information. Yeah. I'd hate to say any wild shit. Yeah. All right. They said that there's a bit a lot, there's a whole bunch of people have been diagnosed with cancer that had,

that did not, were not at all, had any type of cancer. And, like, doctors have been, like, doing that for years and years. Well, I hope those motherfuckers get cancer in their dicks. Me too, dude. I fucking despise.

Dude. We got a. What? We got to go. Yeah, what time is it? time to go 545 DJ real quick

I haven't watched it yet I intend to but have you watched all of that Catch 22 Catch 22 is my favorite books ball in my favorite I love it I love it

so is it really yeah yeah hang on hold on no I have a specific personal question to ask about it as do you remember the Texan

in the new the Hulu show the guy that plays him is he like is he good looking is he strapping and how old boy is he Dude,

Okay. Is he pretty old boy and is he like in shape? Let me tell you that, man. Who are we talking about? I miss this. The guy that plays the Texan. Some guy who's clearly beat Trey for a part.

That's exactly what happened. Is that really what happened? Yeah. Good call, right? Nice. Well, I told you about it when it happened. Remember when I kept saying George Clooney called me fat?

Yeah. Dude, tell everybody else. You can't just throw that out there. That George Clooney executive produced the new QS-22. I audition for the Texan. they passed me through whatever and for it in my audition tape to George Clooney. And then what they, the response that I ultimately got was they think you're great,

but it ultimately came down to physicality. Yeah. He's the soldier, whatever, and I'm a doughy motherfucker. So I was just like, yeah, it checks out. I will also say this. I would also say this. Of course, I would much rather you have had that role and it just, I would just, you know, I would love to see you in that because it's great.

But I did it, old boys. Yeah, it would have changed your life. Well, but he was very much more, and I'll say this, he's very much more texting, old boy. I know y'all know what I make. It's a different thing. Very much like, yeah, yeah. So they did it.

They did. Did a good job. I'm sure they did. I'm sure they nailed it. Buddy. I'm guarantee you they made the right choice. I would much rather have you got it. It was really good.

But the subtext of everything else I'm saying is I'm kind of glad you didn't get it. No, no, no, no, it wouldn't have hit for me regardless. Yeah, just not the rest of the world. Not the general population. The rest of the world would have really been, would have really been deprived. They'd been deprived, a wonderful cinematic moment. I've gotten that role instead of that guy, yeah. Let's go drink German beer.

I need a German beer. Yeah, we've got to go do a show and stuff. Now, Roddy, let's do it, and, uh, uh, uh, skee-skie. You. Thank you for listening to the podcast. We appreciate all of you. Even though we just made jokes about us, we're glad you still stay too. September 20th, 2020,

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