wellRED podcast - #132 - Shirime The Japanese Butthole Bigfoot

Episode Date: August 28, 2019

From Sam Raimi's game changing Spiderman trilogy to Christopher Nolan's reinvention of the genre as we know it to speculation over the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Trae and Corey discuss comic book movies until Drew gets back from a local bar and the conversation shifts to Japanese folklore... specifically Shirime The Japanese Butthole Bigfoot. Don't know what that is? Yeah, neither did anyone but Trae and BOY WAS IT WILD... listen to the full episode to have your mind and butthole blown! wellredcomedy.com for tickets to shows! Bluechew.com - promo code RED for your first order FREE (Just pay 5 dollars shipping) MyBookie.ag - Up to $1000 First Deposit Bonus, Double Your First Deposit (Use Promo Code WELL to activate the offer) NEW TWITTER HANDLE: @wellredpodcast Fan Mail: PO Box 240 Chickamauga, GA 30707 TELL YO FRIENDS

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Hey, well-read listeners. What's going on? It's your boy, the show, Corey Ryan Forster. So I assume that this podcast is reaching you at 6 o'clock in the morning on Wednesday as I wanted it to. But if not, I'm very sorry. but I've had a hectic a couple of two days. I've been today, at least right now, currently, because the podcast hasn't been edited.

I'm just doing my intro. I've been on call for the past two days, and let me explain what that is. So me and the boys were in Michigan this past weekend. Thank you to everybody who came out in Grand Rapids, in Traverse City, and in, oh, fuck me, oh, Pontiac. Now, we had great shows. Everything was fun.

And so I get me and Trey, me and Trey on the last night that we were there. We were in, we were in Pontiac and then we decided to drive the hour to Detroit so we could stay by the airport. So we did that. And then as we are want to do, because we both had later flights so we could stay up, we stayed up and we watched movies and we smoked weed. And we ordered $60 of White Castle, which is a fuck ton of White Castle. And, you know, of course, we ate it all and laid there in shame and watched movies and just hated ourselves. But, you know, whatever. It is what it is.

We're back on the road. Yolo, fuck it, whatever. So anyways, I'm sitting there. Trey leaves goes to his room. And I'm sitting there, like, the weed kind of kicks in a little bit too heavy. And then I start looking. I just see all the White Castle shit on my counter. That's the thing that always happens.

And no matter where, like, no matter what we do, or if it's me, me and just me and Trey or me, Tray and Drew, for some reason, anytime we order a large quantity of fucking food, we always seem to eat it in my room. So when everybody else leaves and goes back to their room that doesn't have the fucking shame burgers just on the counter, I have to sit there in my filth and still smell it and I'm too high to fucking throw everything out. And even if I wanted to, there's so much of it and it's just going to stink up my trash can. So it just sits there on the goddamn counter.

and I'm sitting there and the weeds kicking in a little bit too much and I look and I'm just staring at all the White Castle just going what the fuck is your problem man what have you done like what you've got you can't do this again this is three and a half years on the road 15 years of being a comic like you have to take better care of yourself I know that you say this all the time but sincerely it starts tomorrow dude I'm like having a little existential crisis and I'm thinking of myself I'm like you know fuck man your your dad your dad had a heart attack couple years ago and thank God he lived, but his dad had a heart attack and he died, and don't you dare do it. Don't you put your kids through the fucking worry. Like, I'm not going to do it.

I'm going to change my shit. And all night I was just thinking about dad's fucking heart attack and freaking out. So I wake up the next morning. I don't grab my phone immediately. I pack up all my stuff. I get to the car because I'm going to drive to the airport. I look down at my phone and there's a text message from my mother that just says, hey, are you awake? Now, That's not a normal text message that I would receive from my mom. Normally, mom will just call me. Or, hey, buddy, how's it going? Give me a shot?

But she said, are you awake? And immediately, I was just like, well, fuck, dad's dead. Like, that's happened. And I called her, and she said, the first words out of her mouth were, first off, he's not dead. Because she knew that I was going to be freaking out because I'm an erotic piece of shit. I said, what happened? She goes, well, we think he's had a heart attack. I'm sitting there freaking out even more because I was like, I've literally done nothing,

but think about him having a heart attack all goddamn night, and this has happened. And she's like, you know, I took him to the hospital. They got him. He's conscious. And, you know, they're attending to him and he can talk. And they don't think it's, you know, they don't think it's as bad as his last one, which was the Widowmaker, which should have killed him. He had 100% blockage in the Widowmaker. She's like, they don't think it's that, but they are definitely going to keep him overnight.

And I just want to let you know that that's the deal. and I'm sitting there and I'm like, okay, fuck, I can't do anything. I'm on my way to the airport, but it's a direct flight. I said, I'll be, I can literally be at the hospital in three hours. She's like, okay, whatever. So do that, go to the hospital, get there. And this is just so weird because I was thinking all night about dad having this heart attack. And it's almost, and it just manifested.

And then I get there and I text, I text the boys. I text Drew and Trey because they're very close with my father. goes on the road. A lot of you guys have probably met my father. I know Slobberho's had. He had a beer with him. They're very close with him, so I wanted to let him know. I was like, hey, guys, he's okay right now, but dad has had another heart attack. I'm just letting you guys know. And then Drew texted me, holy shit. Five nights ago, Andy had a dream that your dad had a heart attack. And I'm like, good, fucking God, can she not pick different ones of her dreams to come true for Christ's sake, so they all have to kill my dad.

And then I get to the hospital and my sister, I tell my sister about my, not really premonition, but my just like, you know, me dealing with the void and thinking about my dad having a heart attack. And then I told her about Andy. And she said, holy shit, that's crazy because Jessica, who is, I mean, I guess if her dad's my godfather, she's my god sister, my friend Jessica, woke up two days ago, which was the day that dad had the heart attack. She woke up just in the middle of the night.

just sweating for, well, not middle of the night, but in the morning. She wakes up without her alarm. She's freaking out. She's like, something bad has happened. She calls everybody in her family, and nobody's picking up the phone. So she calls the funeral home where her dad works. And she was like, I need to talk to my dad right now. I think something very bad has happened.

And they said, Robbie's busy right now. He can't talk to you. And Jessica's like, that never happens. He always drops everything to talk to me. So finally, he called her back and said, hey I'm sorry I couldn't come to the phone Dale had you know Dale had heart attack and Jessica's like I fucking knew

something was going on so that's three people who like had weird little premonitions of there's some sorcery afoot is what I'm saying but regardless dad is fine at at the moment he's at the hospital but I'm kind of just sitting here on call I've went and been bringing my mom coffee and shit like that and checking on them

but he was in good spirits i went i got to the hospital uh like i said three hours after i boarded the plane to detroit because i had a direct flight and um my wife amber um she's calling me as soon as land she's like hey do you want me do you want me to go to the hospital with you i'm like yeah i'll wait on you so we go to the hospital and i'm on the phone this is classic my dad i'm on the phone um with mom and it's on speaker and i'm asking for directions while i'm in the hospital they're like it's room you know 610 or whatever the hell and i'm like Okay, so dad knows that I'm coming. He also is fairly certain that I'm coming straight from the airport and thus will be alone.

And I know that because he would have never done this if he knew that Amber was with us. But we walked in the door and dad was standing up beside his hospital bed with the back of his gown just completely. He was showing me his ass. And he said, hey, son, how's it going? Oh, I'm sorry. And then he turned around. He saw my wife and he kind of freaked out and almost had another goddamn heart attack. But he was in good spirits, which was cracking me up.

I sat there with him for, you know, several hours kind of doing the whole lot, you know, last time it was way more grim when he had the heart attack. It was like, he was in and out. Like, we didn't fucking know. But this time he's sitting there. He's hooked up, you know, we still don't know everything. We don't know how bad it could be. But like, he is fucking alive.

So I sat there with the family for a while. I ordered a shit ton of Chinese food and, you know, had a little buffet there in dad's room that he was not allowed to eat, which kind of hit for me, because that's what he gets. because he's gone off his goddamn diet so much, so much so that he had a fucking heart attack. So we sat there, we ate, and then I went home and mom stayed there, and then I had to go back up there this morning to bring mom coffee, and it was pretty adorable. Like, I didn't know what was going to be going on. Like, you know, all sorts of shit could have happened at night.

I didn't know if he's going to be better. It's going to be worse. And I get up there to bring him coffee, and mom had, like, moved the couch over to dad's bed, so they were, like, kind of laying next to each other. and they were both just sitting there. They didn't even see me come in because they were both on their cell phones laughing at different dog videos, like a couple of goddamn millennials. And the reason was cracking me up.

So, like, he's in good spirits. I had to bring her coffee because she literally, she can't leave my dad. But it's not like, I don't want anybody to get the wrong impression. It's not like some notebook shit where it's just like, my mother is so in love with my father that she did. leave his side. It's that my dad is very much like me. And unless it has something to do with his actual line of work, which is advertising, which he's very good at, or something that hits for him like baseball, he's dumb as fuck. And dad, I know you don't listen to this podcast, but if you are noticed that I preface this by saying, me and you are a lot of like. So I'm not just sitting here

straight up calling you a dumb fuck. Me and you are the same type of dumb fuck. And mom can't leave his side because, like, as soon as she does, the doctor's going to come in and start telling him some shit about his heart. And dad, with his ADD riddled ass, is just going to be staring at a goddamn picture of a squirrel on the fucking wall, not knowing anything. Like, literally nothing at all. So, mom is completely having to play nurse, which makes sense because my mom did, used to be a nurse, which is probably the only reason my goddamn dad is alive right now to tell you the truth. So I'm talking to dad, the doctor leaves. And I'm like, dad, how you feel and everything? He's like, oh, man, I just really.

I love, I just love this hospital. This hospital is so nice. Memorial Hospital in Chattanooga is just super nice. And I'm like, yeah, this is your favorite place to have a heart attack so far. This is your favorite one. He goes, I just, and so the doctor comes back in, the dad starts asking me, he goes, hey, last time I had a heart attack and I was here, they put me in that rehab program. And the doctor's like, yeah, absolutely.

He goes, can I get back in that? And the doctor's like, yeah, fuck yeah. Of course. You're going to get back in that. And dad's like, oh, I really enjoyed that. I love this hospital's rehab center. I like working out in that gym. It was super sweet.

And I was like, Dad, if you like working out in the gym, just start going to the one that ain't in the hospital, and then you won't have to fucking go to the hospital so goddamn much. And dad, and I mean, I really, you know, shit. I can't say nothing to what he said because it's true. He goes, no, Corey, I like working at this hospital because if some bullshit happens, there's a bunch of doctors around me.

So my dad's probably going to join a gym at a goddamn hospital just so that he can crank up the, you know, treadmill as far as it goes. In case he strokes out or some shit, there's going to be someone with the paddles right beside him. So we're sitting there. We're telling stories about the last time dad had a heart attack because that's super good fodder for conversation with your son who recently has almost had a panic attack about your health in the first place. And he's telling the story about the last time we were at Memorial Hospital. And I'm not sure if any of you guys know, maybe some of our southern. fans, which should be a lot of you, might know the Forster Sisters. They were a gospel singing group back in the day. They might still be together, but they're the Forster

sisters, and they spell their name exactly like ours, and we would constantly get asked, hey, are you guys related to the Forster sisters? And no, we're not, but like I get why people would ask that. Forrester's not the most common name, and we spell it the same. Well, the first time Dad had a heart attack, they transferred him to Memorial. Me and Mom drove up there. Pretty sure we beat the fucking ambulance. So we get up there, I'm freaking out. At this point, I sincerely thought that my dad was dead. We're running down the halls of memorial.

And finally, there's a lady that she was a doctor or something. Like, she ran the place. I don't know. She looked legit. And she's like, hey, guys, you look stressed. You look panic. How can I help you? And we're like, my mom's like, my husband is having a heart attack.

And we don't know where you're, and I'm crying. My sister's crying. My mom's crying. And we're all freaking out. And she goes, okay, everybody. It's okay. Just calm down. What's the last name?

They put them in places by alphabetical order. And again, we're crying. and we just said that my dad was having a heart attack. And my mom goes, his last name is Forster. And the woman took two steps forward and then turned around and goes, hey, are you all related to the Forster sisters? Which I thought was pretty funny. And it definitely liven the mood there in the hospital. Anyways, so all that happened.

And then finally today, I leave to come do to edit the podcast. Like I'm like, I got to go. Like, you know, dad, you good? He's like, yeah, I'm good. you know, he's awake and everything. I said, if y'all need me, I'll bring my computer back up to this goddamn hospital. I ain't going to hit for me, but I will. So I'm going to go finally edit the podcast.

I got a lot of shit to do. So I'm sitting there trying to do it. And then my mom calls me. And she's like, hey, what are you doing? And I'm like, nothing. And then my sister beeps in on me. And I said, Mom, let me get this. It's Kirby.

Kirby fucking, I said, hey, I'm doing the podcast. She goes, I need you to come to my house and move a couch. And I'm like, didn't I just move a couch for you literally two weeks ago? and she goes, yeah, I don't like where it is. So I want the other couch back from upstairs, downstairs, and the one from downstairs back upstairs. And I'm like, yeah, why the fuck wouldn't this happen today? So I go over there.

I do that shit. Totally forgot about goddamn mama had just called me. So then I called mama back. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry. She goes, look, I ain't going to lie. I'm on my way back from the hospital. They finally told me I needed to leave and your dad was passed out and everything was fine. But like, I'm all stressed out and wound up.

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep. Can I come by your house and get like a, weed gummy or some shit. And I was like, yeah, I'm on my way to Kirby's to move a goddamn couch because everything sucks. But just I'll call Amber, tell her you're on her way, she'll set you up, everything will be totally good. Don't worry about it.

You know, like they're in the cabinet, go get them. No problem. So any fucking ways gets here, I ain't had none left, but I did have some frozen weed cookies in my freezer. So I was like, just get them cookies, whatever the fuck. So she gets them, goes back to. her house. I pass her on the road coming back from moving the couch. Way about her. What's up? Okay. I'm finally going to get here and I'm going to edit this goddamn podcast. And then

all of a sudden my phone started ringing and it was my mom and she goes, hey, oh, Jesus, I feel like a fucking idiot. And I was like, what? And she goes, well, I had that weed cookie in my purse and it was just, it was loose. I had it in there loose and I'm like, good Lord. I didn't think my mama was getting leaving loose candy and shit in her purse like a fucking old lady at the Baptist church. Oh, but apparently she's getting there. And she's like, I had a fourth of a cookie in there and it was loose. And I sat my purse down. And, you know, I looked up and Reese, the dog, her dog, Reese, Reese had eaten it.

And I was like, oh, shit. And normally I'd been like, well, shit, she's going to be fine, no fucking problem. But, you know, I talked about on the podcast not long ago. My dog had gotten to some weed and it was a pretty fucking bad night. Um, so I was like, don't freak out. I'll be right there over. Get him, you know, get her some food in her, get a full stomach. She'd probably be fine. She's a bigger dog. So I had to go over to my goddamn mama's house with, but she's like, oh, I don't have no dog food. I ain't got no goddamn dog food because, you know, dad had a heart attack and everything's been crazy. I was like, I'll bring him cat food. I was like, don't give him cat food. I was like, don't give him fucking cat food. I'll be over there with dog food. So I had to go over there with dog food. Um, um, and I had some doggy CBD, which I was hoping would counteract the weed. And any fucking, I said all that to say this. It's been quite the goddamn day. And my mama accidentally got her dog fucked up.

And he's probably at home laying in bed, shaking like a son of a bitch while she sleeps, only to wake up the morning to go back and check on my father at the hospital. Everything's been raving. But that was my day. And I just wanted to share it with you guys and also say this. If you're out there and you have heart troubles or like you have a family history of heart troubles, take care of yourself. I know I just talked about the, I clearly don't take care of myself, but I need to.

And I'm going to start doing it to be encouraging for my dad. Because even though maybe, you know, age-wise, I'm not to the point where, like, I'm at the, you know, past the point of no return. But like, I need to start now. I need to do it to be encouraging my dad. If you're out that quit smoking, quit fucking smoking. I hadn't had a cigarette since Thanksgiving. It's been one of the best thing that's ever happened to me. And they say, I was like, my risk of heart attack went down by like,

fucking 40% or something like that. So take care of yourself and hug your loved ones because you never know. And anyways, that's it for this story. I just wanted to fill you guys in on my bullshit and explain why the podcast may be a couple hours late. But like I said, unless I get a phone call, it ain't going to be. So, as you know, well-readcom, w-l-l-R-E-D, comedy.com. That is where you can find out where we're going to be in the next couple weeks on the

major of our 2019 tour. We're going to be in Houston, Texas, Austin, Texas, San Diego, California, Lexington, Kentucky, back at one of the best comedy clubs in the country, comedy off Broadway, then San Antonio, Texas, Dallas, Texas, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Phoenix, Arizona, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina, Denver, Colorado, and then December 19th through the 22nd, we're going to be at the best comedy club in the entire country. Zanies in Nashville, Tennessee, doing our homecoming shows, our Christmas shows, our end-of-the-tour shows. It's always sales out and it's always a blast. So go ahead. Did I mention Austin, Texas? September 15th, Austin, Texas. Hell yeah, we're playing at Austin City Limits live. It's

such an honor. Get those tickets now. If you're somebody out there who is like, oh, fuck, I never know when you're coming to town. Go to subscribe to our newsletter at well-readcom.com. Just click on the newsletter and then put your email in and then you'll know where we're going to be before my dumb ass knows where we're going to be um you can also now listen to this podcast on well read comedy dot com if you don't you know like screw it around with the podcast apps or you want to go all the way back in the archives because i know that sometimes the podcast apps like they cut off some episodes like a couple weeks ago it's back to normal now but a couple weeks ago iTunes only had us from like episode 35 to present so go to well red comedy dot com and you're

one-stop shop for everything. We got t-shirts. We got our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. We have our album, well-read, live from Lexington, recorded at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington. Other than that, let's, oh, another thing, you can, people, and there's a lot of people who's making fun of me for it, they're like, well, you just want free shit. And I mean, yeah, dude, free shit hits for me. Please do not get me wrong. But I get, I get, I get, Trey gets, and Drew gets a lot of messages from people that are like, hey, I'd really like to send you out like there's a book that I think you guys would like, I'd like to send it to you, or like, here's my band, I'd like to send you our album, or like, or fuck, just, I've been

getting thank you cards and shit. And we never had an address to send that to, and obviously nobody wants to give out the personal shit, but now we do. It is P.O. Box 240 in Chickamauga, Georgia. P.O. Box 240, Chickamauga, Georgia, 3070. and what I've been doing during this portion of the podcast for the past couple weeks is talking about the stuff that we've gotten, which has been just, it's been so nice, y'all. We've gotten thank you letters.

We've gotten baseball cards. We've gotten CDs. It's been cool. I didn't have a chance to go there today before this segment on account of my dad's heart exploded and he about died. But thank you for sending stuff. So if you want to continue to send stuff, it is P-O Box. 240 Chickamauga, Georgia, 30707. And also, because we're stupid, we just now figured that, hey, we need to have a separate Twitter for our podcast.

So we are now on Twitter at well-read podcast. So when you're tweeting about the show, if you could just go ahead and at well-read podcast, that would be super sweet. You guys got us, I think it was like 500 followers in a day just because we tweeted on our other shit like, hey, do this. And that's absolutely tremendous. Thank you guys for being the best fans in the entire world. And that's all for me. So I love you guys. And thank you all for being there for me in these weird times.

And letting me cast gets out to you at 6 o'clock in the morning on Wednesday. Love you and ski. Oh, also, that's so stupid. I wanted to plug this. Trey has a new series over on YouTube and his Facebook and everything. It's called Do What Now? And it's basically Trey's porch rants meet John Oliver. And if you haven't seen them, you're going to love them.

I mean, I think it's exactly what the people want. It's the man in his best form doing some of his best work. So check those out. Subscribe to all that shit. Follow us on all the stuff at Corey R. Forrester, at Drew Morg Comedy, at Trey Crowder. And we love you. And here's the podcast and skew. They're the fever of sex.

They care way too much, but don't give a fuck. They're the fever and next that makes Some people upset They got three big old dicks at you Are we here? Here we are Here we are In the basement

Of the Crowfoot Lounge in Pontiac, Michigan Yeah It's a real glorious time Glit's and glam, baby All day long No, we're glad to be in Pontiac, Michigan It's just, you know That ain't the type of place

That you hear people You know Bragg about doing shows of Sure And you know Also We find, you know The most of our people

people at yeah absolutely and not for nothing i mean if this was the first day of a run i would be in a lot different of a mood than i currently am it's the last day of a run and that's often how that goes a run involving a lot of driving and stuff that you've done 100% of so yeah well i didn't want to get killed right so yeah um so anyway you and drew really carved out a nice place for yourselves yeah well i mean i got yeah no it's not neither one of your faults well you hey just Yeah, he will wreck and kill us. A rage-fueled lunatic. Yeah, so, you know.

That's his thing. Oh, yeah. My eyes just genuinely don't hit. Right. So, yeah, it don't hit for you. I'm sorry. But anyway. It's fine.

Some of me wanting to, because Drew's, he's not with us physically right now. He's going to be here at the show, but he's not here at the moment, but we had only this time to do the podcast. He didn't bail on it. That's not what happened. But he's not here right now. And I've been wanting to talk about a specific thing for a, while now, but I knew he wouldn't give a shit and whatever. So it's like a mostly for you thing.

But. So this is about to be about candy or comic books? Comic books. Okay. Right. I nailed it. Comic book movies. Right. And so first off, you may end this conversation before it even starts right now. Okay.

I still have not seen Spider-Man far from home yet. Oh, okay. So no spoilers for me, and I don't want any spoilers from you. But without spoiling anything, do they deal with, you? Do they deal with the snap in that movie? Yes. A lot? A lot?

Yeah. Well, hold on a second. No, you know what? I'm thinking of, I'm getting confused right now because endgame, obviously, the whole thing. Very much, yeah, and they do that. Well, endgame is what I want to talk to you about. But since Ingame come out, there has been another Marvel movie that I haven't seen. So, like, it's possible they've addressed some of the things that I'm about to bring up.

But I don't know because I haven't seen the movie. But if they haven't. I have a lot of questions. They actually, yes, they, but only once that I know of, and it's literally just, I don't think this is a spoiler. Like, it's just in relation to people's age and stuff. They do that at the very beginning when everybody's... Do they do it in a way that makes everything makes sense and like checks out? Okay, all right.

Matter of fact, and now, granted, I was high as a motherfucker, because that's how I watched comic book movies. But at the end, I was just like, okay, I heard it maybe wrong, but I'm just going to 10 because I don't want to seem stupid. Amber at the end was like, wait a minute, but and I won't say what she said because then you won't know. But I was like, actually you're right. I don't fucking know. So here's what I want, and again, keeping in mind that I haven't seen Spider-Man,

but massive spoilers for endgame and the rest of MCU upcoming, but I mean dude, in-game's out on home video and has been for a while at this point. So like if you haven't seen it and care to, then yes, turn it off. But I feel like that's probably not going to cover most of y'all. So I haven't said that, here we go. Preface

it by saying, I'm a colossal MCU fan. I'm so impressed with everything they've done with it. I loved Infinity War and Ingame. I thought it was just a cinematic spectacle, the likes of which we may never see again. We won't. It was phenomenal.

Yeah, we will. Having said that, ever since I saw Endgame, I've had these nagging things about the snap and the implications of it. And I want to run some of them by you, and I know some of this is kind of nigh, nitpicky, but I really feel like

some of this is just like genuine, you know, issues with it. And also I feel like they didn't necessarily have to be this way. So anyway, just a few things starting out. So the way it worked in the movies. He gets him all the infinity. I don't like to snap, by the way. He gets all the infinity stones, snaps.

Half of all life in the universe on earth and elsewhere vanishes in the blink of an eye, turns to dust. Later on, or end game starts right in the aftermath of that iron man about dead all this stuff then they kill thanos and we skip ahead five years later yeah and then the rest of the movie takes place and and at the end of the story from end game which again is five years after the snap they managed to fix it and bring everybody back yeah right okay so just picking just some random ones off the top

my head like let's say like and they deal with some of that in endgame there's like survivors therapy therapy yeah they feel guilty about how they miss you know their wife but they're dating again now that type of thing yeah well so yeah okay so like let's say that you know god forbid a maniacal cosmo you know cosmo titan comes and snaps us all whatever and it gets undone uh for i wouldn't be lucky enough to get snapped you know lord no no i'll be one of ones left behind but But let's say that, like, you know, Katie and my boys both got snapped. Yeah. Five years later, obviously, I'm devastated and had been the whole time.

But horny. I've just gotten over it. Not over it. We'll ever get over it, but I'm trying to move on. Yeah. And I have gotten remarried. And she pregnant. Yeah.

And then Captain American undo the snap. Obviously, nothing would make me happier than to have my family back. But like, how does that work? Well, and you know that type of thing had to happen a lot. Absolutely. Let me run a couple more about you. Another thing, Spider-Man, the Spider-Man character, he's a high school kid. He gets snapped.

Five years go by. He gets unsnapped and comes back. Logic states that half of his classmates would have been snapped, but the other half, they're 23 and just out of college now. You know, like, how does that work? Right. the way they make it seem in endgame is that when you got unsnapped, you come right back to where you got snapped from. Right.

Because you know, Spider-Man's like, you remember we were on that planet, and I got to feeling bad, and I sort of blacked out or what. So it seems like wherever you got snapped from, that's where you get unsnapped back to, right? Yeah. Well, what about all the people that was like on airplanes? Right. Now they're just in the middle of that.

Right. And then five years later, that plane ain't there. Right. It gets unsnapped and they just plummet to their death. Man, can you imagine that? So, like, I just feel like there's a whole lot of, like, logical inconsistencies with it. Most of the airplane thing still stands, except they could have made it to, they could have hand-waves something away where that's not exactly how it worked.

But most of the other stuff, though, the other things that I mentioned, I feel like you could have avoided by, like, in my opinion, they didn't necessarily have to go five years. No, they didn't. Dude, you go go four months, go six months. Right. That's going to be not enough time for people to have started new families and moved down and all that stuff. But it's plenty enough time for people to be utterly fucking devastated. No, I got.

No, I feel like is what they most, that's why they mostly did that was it's like five years down the road and it's like, we want to show. We want to show. We can never go back to the way things were. And then they find a way. Because that's the thing. Like they use it as like five years go by and like, you know, you see all these run down buildings and like all these houses that have. that are you know there are now there's a squatters in them because these people were snapped away if you go six months everything still probably gonna yeah you don't need five whole years to

show the devastation that results from half of the globe disappearing in one instant you know what i mean like so i've just been wanting to ask you about this for a while like your thoughts on no they definitely address the i won't say how but they address the age thing at the beginning of Spider-Man, and it's still like, it's very much like, okay, but. Right. And it's also like they got to that point and go, fuck, we're going to have to do this. I know. You know what I mean?

And it's like, and I'm sure they were like, why didn't we just make it fucking six months? See, that's what worries me is because like that, everything eventually, for the most part, if it goes on long enough, it gets to a point where it jumps the shark. Because you have to keep elevating things. Absolutely. But it's something like that. To keep it interesting. And I'm saying. now that they've kind of unopened this Pandora's box of that, not only that, but also like, do time travel.

Like, in-game ruled for me, but, like, I've felt for a long time that time travel is a very problematic storytelling device, because there's literally no way to do it that makes complete sense. No. It's literally impossible to do it. Because then you just never do it again? It's impossible to do it in a way to where no one can point out inconsistencies or plot holes in it. so now that they've introduced time travel introduce like parallel timelines

and all this shit with the snap and they're still planning on making all these additional movies it just concerns me about the like I don't know logical integrity of the universe going forward like it just makes me feel like shit's about to get like real crazy real fucking real fucking fast I feel the same way and I'm certain that you felt this same way

but like, you know, in the third Harry Potter, when they're able to use the time stone and Hermione, not the timestone, Time Turner, my lord. Hermione goes back and, you know, yada yada, everybody knows what the fuck's up. That was also very stupid because in that movie and in the book, the whole reason Hermione was using the time turn was just so she could take more

classes. Unboy. What a fucking nerd. You have a universe shifting magical device. And this is, what you use it for extra credit. Like, that was already stupid. No, I know that, but going forward and, you know, it's like, we'll just fucking forget about that, which is what they want. Which is what they did. Right. And that's what the movies did. And it's crazy because then you get

there towards the end. You're like, hey, Hermione. So you would use this motherfucker to take algebra eight at the same time as you're taking divination. Right. But you won't pull it out now. Yeah. To say to world. It makes no goddamn sense. Exactly. Every, not just towards the end, every problem and every Harry Potter movie and book after the introduction of the time turner. Yeah. It's like, just use the time turn.

Just use the fucking time turn. Like, you know, you just, you can do it, but like establish a, the time turner only works if we also have this thing. And then,

you know, maybe that thing gets lost or whatever the fuck. But like, it's not that. So. Right. I don't understand. And,

like, you know, I want to be as clear as I possibly can about this. And we've talked about this off might before. Another thing that concerns me as far as all that goes with the Marvel movies is, is Captain Marvel. I love Alison Brie. I think she rules as that character, but I don't like characters like that. She's basically like Superman, and Superman has never hit for me.

And now that she's there, she's just the ultimate Deus X Machina and you either have to say, oh, God, we're in a bad spot. We should call Captain Marvel. And you're like, oh, well, she's helping out the Mangalorians on their planet. Right. no can do. You either have to do something like that, or she swoops in and just breaks everything and saves the day with no problems whatsoever. And like, that's, no, it don't hit for me. Because that's, ever since they've introduced her, they have done that where, like, they'll have a problem.

They're like, where's Captain Marvel? And they'll be like, this is so beneath her. Right. You know what I mean? Earth isn't the only place with problems. Yeah. And also, like, if she was here, this would be over in two seconds. And we're like, all right, well, fucking, I guess holler at her like I would.

But yeah, man, I'm not about it. And it fucking super sucks because, like, I like her and I like the character, but, like, I don't know, man. I wanted the first Marvel female vehicle to really hit for me, but it did not. I mean, it did hit. Like, I enjoyed the movie. It did hit, but, like, again, I just don't like that type of superhero. No, I don't either. Because, again, she's basically just like Marvel's version of Superman.

Right. And I just ain't with that. No, I'm not either. I like very flawed, very, like, you know, vulnerable. Spider-Man is doing fucking high school. You know what I'm saying? Like, Tony Stark is literally just a man who's rich.

But yeah, man, no, I can't stand that like, you know, my one weakness is a goddamn green space alien rock or some shit. And, like, we ain't on that planet, so you probably be good. And it's like, I don't know the origin story of Captain Marvel. I mean, from as far as how that character got created and came about. But like with Superman, I was always kind of. like sort of understanding of it because he was like he was almost like the very first one right and it's like you don't think about all that no and they were just like that's how that would be the superest

super person right we could come up with and that's just how and then he was a massive hit right because they'd never seen anything like and now you just you have what you have with Superman it ain't never hit for me but it's like I kind of I got it I got how that came to be the way it was you know but like I kind of think that's why maybe the last several Superman movies have flopped, because I think that, like, collectively comic book fans, once Spider-Man's and Tony Stark's and stuff were introduced, they feel pretty much the same way that we do. Like, they're like, oh, now that I know a character can be flawed and have a true Achilles' heel and shit, this Spider-Man dude, or this Superman dude, it's like you can just come in and fucking do anything.

So, like, I don't know, man, it kind of seems to me like that's, that might be universal. It's definitely not universal because there are Jerry Seinfeld is one of them. There are colossal Superman fans out there. Yeah, I mean, but those are like, I think people that were Superman. That's not enough money to like sustain a franchise. No, that's true. And I think that.

But obviously, he's a popular character. If you were a Superman fan a long time ago, like you're going to be the rest of your life. I guess it's, I think it's harder for new people to get on board with Superman. Like your kids, like if they're introduced to Superman, they're going to be like, Spider-Man hits way fucking harder. What are you talking about? I don't remember exactly, but, you know, I was a fat. dork as a kid. I was a nerd. I liked comic books. And in my memory, in my recollection, I started

fucking with like Spider-Man and the X-Men and stuff first. And then after, obviously, I was aware of Superman. But still, after that, I, like, read some Superman comics or whatever for the first time after I already hadn't seen these other heroes. And immediately I was like, I was like, this ain't it. No. Like, it's, it's boring. Yeah. It's boring. Because, like, he can literally he's involved you can't do anything to him he's unstoppable

except for one way fucking kryptonite yeah which ain't native here right like you gotta have somebody like lex luther that knows how to fucking harvest it and shit like it just never hit for me me neither but i mean again massively popular

but i started fucking with batman first yeah talk about batman including because we were talking last night about the nolan batman movies and just, I mean, A, how hard they hit, but also how they, like, you know, very much open the door in a lot of ways for the superhero. Oh, it's unbelievable. I mean, they're... Boom. The Sam Rami Spider-Man's also went a long way.

I was telling you last night, I kind of feel like you take Sam Ramey Spider-Man movies and Nolan's Batman movies and smoolems and you get them together. And you get what's going on? You know what I mean? I absolutely agree with that. Because they have some of that darkness and grittiness and pathos and all. that, but they also have some of that vibrant comic booky, you know, swash-buckling flare. We got high, and we wanted to watch, what was it, like, just that clip compilation of Michael Kane as Alfred.

And like, you pointed out, and I hadn't ever thought about it, and you were just like, I was like, goddamn Michael Kane hits. And you're just like, yeah, man, like, do you understand what this fucking movie was doing with Alfred? Like, before then, not that. old Batman movies didn't hit, they certainly did, but, like, Alfred was like such a second, third, fourth, whatever

the fuck banana, and like... And a lot of times, a comic relief. Comic relief, absolutely. Which he still isn't like, like, in the Lego Batman movie, which rules, in my opinion. You know, Alfred's like, he's a comic relief character. Sure, of course, but like... But in the Nolan movies. Michael

Kane could have been nominated for a goddamn Oscar for what he did with Alfred. And, like, I never thought that I would say shit like that. But yeah, dude, like, I mean, what those movies did just in terms of like, my dad will watch The Dark Night, but he doesn't fuck with like comic book movies on the regular, but those, he's like, well, these don't count.

I'm like, no, you're, I mean, they do. That's like the whole thing of like, you know, why don't we get Andre 3002? Why ain't he from the South? But like, no, those definitely are comic book movies, but I totally hear what you're saying. And they, at the same time, and this is so ironic, I don't know if, you know,

how fucking people will nitpick the actual definition of irony. I don't know if this is truly ironic, but what I love that you just looked at our fake audience. It's the very, it's at the very least, it's the Alanis Morissette version of irony. Sure. But like in the same way that tells Nolan Batman movies in a lot of ways paved the way for the success of the MCU, I think. Yeah.

I think they also doomed the DC. Absolutely. 100% because how are we going to do? Well, because they also, it got them so stuck in that mode of we got to be dark and gritty. And they, and like, they were doing, they were just labeling that shit on to stuff that it didn't work for. Like, you can do that with Batman in that way, but you don't need to just be pouring that shit all over everything. No. And in my, and I think that fucked them.

And then, in my opinion, their last couple, their last, like, two, three movies, D.C., they've gotten away from that. And they've been. And they have started hidden. I agree with you. Like, Aquaman ain't got none of that. No. No. It's one of those comic bookie movies ever made.

And it hits for me. I mean, Shazam, it's kid-oriented, whatever, but it's not dark and gritty and shit. And it, you know, and it's fun. It's a good time. No, that's the thing. Like, and it, you know, it, you know, Aquaman at first handles a dude that loses his wife because she has to return to the sea so that the earth and the sea won't go to war with each other, which is dark. And that whole part was dark. But then it's just like kid friendly, well, I won't say kid friendly everything, but like, yeah, it was fucking fun.

Like it was a super, I mean, dude, like a fucking Merman King rides a great white shark into battle against crab people. And Shazam dealt with, you know, foster children. is very sad and can be very dark and it dealt with parental abandonment. But it was also super joke-oriented, very kiddie, very fun shit. It's a kid as a superhero that's going to be, you know, it's going to be a romp. Right after the Dark Night movies came out, if someone had said, we're going to do a gritty Shazam, I'd probably been like, oh shit, awesome. But like looking back now, like, you'd hell no, wouldn't have hit.

It would have ruined it. Like, I'm so glad that we're back to that. Well, and I don't mean that they're, I hope there's not another one of those. It depends. It depends. Logan was that. Logan was that. And it fucking ruled.

Yeah, you can't do it. They haven't hit. Their past fucking three have, like, this reboot did not work. Who? You're talking about Fox? X-Men. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Well, they, presumably now they're coming under the MCU banner and I'm sure we'll start hitting again. Thank you. You're right. They, yeah, they. And, I mean, I don't know about you, but like, I actually, I enjoy. enjoyed first class, but I don't know if it was just that I enjoyed it because, hey, everybody in the cast is fucking awesome.

Yeah. And I just love X-Men so much. But then, like, after that, I was like, oh, man, I really thought this was about to be such a rise to glory. I also really liked days of future past, even though it had, you know, that's a time travel thing. Yeah, I think that bothered me. I didn't not like it. Right.

But I liked first class better. But then everything after that, except for Logan, which. is kind of its own thing. It is definitely its own thing. Yeah, they ain't hit. Well, so, because I know, you're like the biggest MCU fanboy. I personally know probably. Yeah, it's a problem.

Which hits for me. Do you think that all this shit we was talking about earlier? Like, does that concern you? Are you concerned about them? That's the last thing I'm concerned about, though, right now as an MCU fan, because obviously I'm concerned about the Spider-Man shit. Oh, right. Well, it's funny because that won't even matter to me if they don't resolve that.

And this is maybe a naive or silly thing to say, but we were talking the other night off mic about that. I'm actually, like, not at all concerned about that. Right. Because, like, I just feel like, dude, they will figure that out. Right. You know what I mean? Like, at the end of the day, they're going to realize, like, we can't just let this die. Like, we got to keep this role.

You know what I mean? Like, I really think they'll figure that out eventually. Because I also read, and I don't know that this is true, because I read it on the internet, but it was in a discussion thread about that news story. And the thing I saw said that the current existing contract that is still in effect, like they were renegotiating the follow-on contract, but the one they're currently under between Disney and Sony that covers Spider-Man,

I read that it covers like two more movies. Right, the next movie will still happen. Yeah. Which means another like Avengers type, you know, get-together, team-up movie. and another Spider-Man standalone or two of injured, whatever, two more appearance. And like, I feel like by the time, by the time that, dude, you look at three or four years. Right. In three or four years, they will figure that.

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Well, W-E-L-L-L, when creating your account to claim the bonus. Bet, win, get paid. Now back to the podcast. Ski-E-U. They'll figure that shit out, I think. No, I hear you. The thing that, the thing with the snap doesn't worry me as much as Disney Plus happening. I mean, and this is probably just a thing that I'm making myself worry about, but like Disney Plus happening,

like there's going to be a Winter Soldier and Falcon show. There's a Loki show. There's a Loki show. I guess I'm afraid that like, and this is a hell of a thing to say because the MCU is literally all about doing so much and still being able to fucking pull it off is that they're just going to like stretch themselves too thin and we've seen the last of greatness. And I don't even, I don't watch these. I don't think you do either.

But the way that I've, well, I've watched. watch the Netflix Marvel shows like Daredevil and all that. And like, the way they've normally handled their TV shows versus their movies is that like, yeah, they're in the same universe and they'll, the characters will say things that reference, you know what I mean?

Like in Daredevil, they'll reference the Battle of New York or whatever from the First Avengers. But they're not really like... The storylines will be completely different. They're not really tied in to the universe so that you don't have to worry about like, inconsistencies and shit like that, you know? And I would imagine that they'll keep, that same thing going on as far as how they handle them, you know?

No, I would think so. And, I mean, other than that, I literally could not be more pumped about Disney Plus because, like, maybe I've just assumed this the whole time, but, like, it's supposed to have, like, the entire Disney catalog. I mean, that's my understanding. Like, you want to go back and watch fucking Charlie the Cougar or whatever the fuck. You can just do that. The, uh, god damn it, was that one?

The Leprechaun one? The reluctant dragon. The reluctant dragon. Oh, but dad, I don't want to be metal. fuck. Oh, that gives me some very good and painful memories. Yeah, that was a poster on the wall of the office building we were working at on the Disney studio lot when we were making that pilot that failed.

So, yeah. I know this is going to sound crazy because I ate at a combination Taco Bell KFC today and have been drinking like a fish for three days straight, but I feel fucking. looking horrible. Yeah, I hear you. How are you? I mean, not great. Don't get me wrong.

I'm not. Like, I've, I don't know. That, like, dude, okay, preface this again by saying, I still don't hit. Nothing hits. Still feel like shit. Very often, whatever. Right. But, like, sincerely, that goddamn sinus surgery made such a colossal difference in the way that I just feel on a day-to-day basis.

Because, like, I'm tired right now. Right. but I'm nowhere near the level of like fatigue that I just walked around at almost every single day of my life before I had that surgery. Yeah, man, you would say things to me that would make me be like, God, how bad does he fucking got it? Like, it would be like, I know. Two o'clock in the afternoon. And you just look at me, you're like, how are you doing this? And I was like, what?

And you're like walking around with a smile on your face. No, we had that conversation. And it's like, and I know this type of thing that a lot of people, everybody feels this way about their own predicaments versus other people's. but like we would be having those conversations and I would be like and you'd be like what do you mean? I'd be like dude I'm just so goddamn tired and you would be like I mean don't get me wrong I'm tired too and I would and I would be like I was like I mean I know you are I'm sure you are but like I'm telling you you cannot feel the way that I feel like you cannot be as tired as I am otherwise I wouldn't be acting the way I'd be acting exactly and I used to think that about a lot of people you know it's like people like I'd tell katie just I

wouldn't want to do something and I'd feel bad about not wanting to do it But she's like, why? And I was like, I was like, I'm just really fucking tired. And she was like, I mean, I'm tired too, but you pushed. And I would always be like, I was like, I mean, I'm sure you are, Katie. But there's just no way. There's no way. Because if you were as tired as me, you wouldn't want to do this thing.

Right, that you are as tired as I am. And now that I've had that surgery, I know it to be true. I know that I was right the whole time. And isn't that the best part? Isn't that the best symptom? Oh, vindication? Tell me about it. It's my favorite.

But like, I know. neck because now I think I get tired the way a regular human being gets tired. Right. Which is to say, I mean, yeah, I get tired. It sucks. You know, mid afternoon, I'll get a little, you know, dozy or whatever. But if I get up, move around a little bit, I can push through it. But, dude, before that, because I wasn't, I wasn't breathing at full capacity ever.

There's definitely part of me that thinks I got some of that going on a little bit. But, dude, before that, I'm telling you, man, it was crazy. First of all, I could sleep. If you left me completely alone, nobody fucked me, left me, left me to me. on devices. I swear to God, I could have, I could sleep 12 hours a night every single night. Yeah. And still, like, just stay tired. And I know some people, some people be like, well, yeah, when you sleep too much, you get sluggish. I'm like, you don't understand. I could also sleep eight hours a night every night, perfectly like you're supposed to and still be insanely fucking tired.

But I had that sinus surgery and I don't, I still get tired, but not like that. Like, it was oppressive fatigue. Yeah, I could tell, dude. sincerely and and i kind of don't know how you didn't die that first year and a half a tour and dude it had it wore me down yeah you should have been way more of a diva than you were yeah i mean like in hindsight you weren't that bad yeah well that's also what they'll say about us for how queer i was you know the old people in salina the papas and stuff we get to like 2033 oh yeah you know in hindsight track rider wasn't that bad right i'm wrong still a queer but i'm recently been, I guess, because this tour has, you know how we talk about it, it feels like yesterday,

but it also feels like 15 fucking years ago that we started. Absolutely. Well, like, I went from a 28-year-old to about to be a 32-year-old on this tour, and I guess I haven't realized how much your body not hitting really starts to pick up in those years. Like, that's a pretty crucial time for misery. And, I mean, it's maybe the most crucial. Yeah, and like mentally too, but like, so I guess what I'm saying is like, yeah, the death of youth, like the fucking your youth ceasing to be. Yeah, it's a very pivotal moment.

Well, it makes me mad, though, because like all this is happening to me, but you don't get any of the luxuries that other people get being old. You know what I'm saying? Like, to them, I'm still a young whippersnapper. Right. But my, I'm like, my body's falling apart and I'm bald. Can I not just be one of y'all? Dude, I've been down in my back this whole weekend, and I literally don't even know why. I think it's because I slept a little funny on an airplane.

Yeah, that's the thing. And I woke up and, like, my back has been fucking with me ever since. That's the thing is, like, I'm certain that 80-year-olds feel worse than me. Right. Certain about it. But, like, I'm not convinced that a 55-year-old who doesn't travel for a living feels that much worse than I feel all the time. Right. Because, like, especially, you know, they got a routine and shit like that.

like they get the right amount of sleep. Sometimes even if we fucking attempt, like if we try our best to live a healthy lifestyle, it just is only going to be half ass, like no matter what the fuck you do about it. But like I've started having some like, you know, things happen where I'll be like, I'll be out with my mom or dad or something

when I'm out home on break. And I'm like, I don't know what's wrong. You know, what's wrong me right now? But like, I'm super tired. And they're like, yeah? I was like, but I, I slept last night. And they're like, yeah, you're getting old, dude. And I'm like, oh, man.

this is not good. And, you know, like you were talking about your back, like, you just don't have to do nothing. No. Like the other day, I wanted to go play golf. And trust me, for me to not play golf, I've really got to be in a bad way. I just woke up, and my whole knee just didn't work. It just didn't. It was just like, whatever, couldn't do nothing.

Like, you couldn't even play fucking ski ball yesterday. Right. So, I mean, yeah. I could have, but I would have. It would have. I was like, I don't want to risk. Hurting my butt. aggravating this back injury while playing ski ball so i'm just not going to do it but like yeah it's

wild it don't hit but and but you know i cannot stress enough how much me eating at a combination taco bell kFC on the regular after drinking solid kind of doesn't give me any right to sit here and blame god that's the thing we we live wrong but i will sit here and blame god he still don't hit i didn't ask to be born no he's done this he's done this he's done all this he's done all this He's fucking, you know what that motherfucker did? He made me be born, go bald at like 20, make me funny, and make airplanes hurt. Yeah. He did all those things.

What the fuck was going to happen? Yeah. So, yeah, I'm a little, you know, I'm aggravated at that. But like, I just don't. Do you know the very first line of the Hitchhiker's Guide of the Galaxy series? No. The first line of the very first book. But the book, no, no, no.

He goes, in the beginning, God created the universe. this has been widely regarded as a bad move and upset a lot of people this has upset a lot of people and been widely regarded as a bad move I know how this question is going to go because it seems like always the obvious answer but

so you read those books yeah they're awesome and you've seen the movie I love the movie too okay you do love the movie I saw the movie when it first came out and had not read the books yet Okay, because I've heard the opposite from other people.

You're right, yeah. But I also super love the movie. But I mean, you know, to me, if you put Sam Rockwell and Martin Freeman and fucking Alan Rickman. I couldn't believe the tepid at best reaction at that movie. Like, that movie was polarizing. A lot of people, like, really did not like it. And when I first saw it, I hadn't read the books. I don't even know.

I knew that there were books, but, like, I didn't know nothing about them, you know? I had definitely heard of that before. That movie came out when we were what? I mean, like, I was in... 18, 19? Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I was like 15 or 16. Right. So, like, you know, Salina Kid, like, whatever.

I might have been very vaguely aware of it, but I didn't really know about it and then watch the movie and it blew my motherfucker. Yeah, it was awesome. I loved it. I thought not only was hilarious, I also was like, this shit is brilliant. Yeah. Like so much of, like, the, fucking social commentary and stuff.

I just, I loved it. I fucking loved it. And then I started finding out and reviews and whatever else and stuff. It's like, it's not, it's not like universally reviled. No.

It's very, but it's a polarizing movie. A lot of people are like, oh, it don't hit. And then a couple years later, starting when I was in college or something, I actually read all the books.

And I mean, yeah, dude, the books are better. Right. But like, that movie's still very much hits for me. But, dude, the books, though,

oh my God. Well, I haven't read the books, but I've been. Because I'm telling you, man, they're legitimately genuinely fucking hilarious right real funny throughout like you'll laugh out loud

reading them books and like that doesn't that don't happen much no actually I was thinking about that the other day because I was at I was doing my weekly trip to McKay's bookstore which is a used bookstore they got books DVD any you know it's like a super hit and thrift shop

but only for nerd shit like there's books there's CDs there's DVDs there's action figures there's playstations. And I was in the comedy section books. Ours was there, of course. Eight bucks, by the way, I'll say that. It was going for eight bucks. Every other book was 75 cents.

I was about to say, yeah, I was very not expecting you to say eight bucks. No. 50 cents marked down from 1799. No, like all the Foxworthy books that I bought were 75 cents, and ours was $8. And the only reason I can think of is that like we hit for one person at McKays. And that book will just sit there forever. Ever. Because hell you can buy it.

Ever and ever. Yeah, you can buy it new for fucking 12 or some shit like that. Any goddamn ways. I was in a humor section and I was just like, you know, we've been, me and you've talked about how we feel like right now, we've had like a renaissance in our, like, you know, touring wears down on you and like not saying that we don't fucking love everything that we do. Yeah, I'm about to say.

Yeah, I don't want people to get the wrong. I know. And I'm not going to make it. But like touring fucking makes you tired. And when you're working on a million different projects of, you're, you know, at once, and then, like, a couple of them don't pan out. You can get, it's really, it's just depression is all it is. I don't mean like we didn't give a fuck about comedy, but like, we've just been kind

of an, oh, God, we got to get something going. I don't know what the fucking problem is. Then we had a great weekend in Little Rock, and we got rejuvenated, and I was like, man, I'm going and I'm fucking, I'm restocking my comedy book collection, and I'm going to just nerd out again. I feel like a fucking 16-year-old going to my first up in Mike. I feel great. So I said all that to say this.

I'm in the comedy section, and literally, like, all it is, is, is, books either about comedy, like the art of comedy, or memoirs. Like Tina Faye's Bossy Pants, which I've read, is sitting right there on that book show. I'm sure it is. And it is funny. But like it's funny because it was written by a funny person. Right. There's written.

Which is, that's how I would categorize our book, too. It's funny, but it's not like, like, your Hitchhiker of the Galaxy is a comedy book. It's a, it's a, yeah. It's very rare that you read, like, a novel. That's supposed to be funny. Yeah. that is supposed to be funny and actually is very funny. Like I can,

and I'm sure I've read more, but like off the top of my head. Christopher Moore does that. The three books that have made me laugh the hardest was not in any order. Hitchhackers guy of the Galaxy. Also, Christopher Moore's lamb. Yeah,

Lamb. Christopher Moore is about Jesus's brother Brian. He fucks with us. He does. He does. I know. Go back and forth on Twitter. Yeah.

If you're not, follow him on Twitter, I think it's that author guy or something. When I first found that out, I had written an article for Rolling Stone and he like shared it with just like glowing praise of it or whatever

and I didn't even know that he fucked me at all before that and that was one of those moments of like holy fucking shit man you know and I like I message him and said that I was like dude fuck I that means a lot coming from you because you fucking hit for me you're the dude I actually and the third one is catch 22

which is not just it's not that's not just a funny book But, dude, that book is funny as fuck, man. Yeah, I was actually, when I looked on my phone and I was reading Lamb, what is this? Is this just what's going to be playing during our show? I fucking bet. I'm assuming. I bet.

Oh, my God. We love trap, but this sounds like some like hardcore trap beat shit. It's muffled because we're in the basement. Yeah, but our show's up there where that is. Right. And I'm also very much assuming. Yeah, because we're in a place that's like, got. several rooms so like of course they're going to have like different activities going on yeah and yeah

this is going to be a whole thing that happens well this is riven anyway go ahead uh i was on a plane reading lamb loving it and i looked at my phone it said christopher more just started following you and i fucking kind of freaked out yeah uh but anyways i don't know why we got off on that tangent anyways i said it's just it's just it's super fucking rare man like that's a weird that's a weird thing and like honestly i i don't know if it's just like most people people that want to write comedy, if they're starting to do that, they're like, well, fuck it, let's make a screenplay out of this. Or like, so much of humor is visual. Or auditory.

Auditorial. With our book, we had to do that. That's what I was going to say. I feel like the way comedy has evolved over the years in America specifically, and you're talking about stand-up specifically, we're starting in America. You're going back to vaudeville and all that. It always was like, it was visual or physical or audits. or whatever. Like, you had to hear it, see it, be whatever.

That's, like, kind of how comedy sort of came to be. So, like, I think that has something to do with why. It'd have to. Novels and just the written word and stuff. Again, you can find examples. There's shit out there that's funny, but, like, it's mostly not funny. For sure. And, I mean, if anyone would know examples, it would be us.

Because as funny people, we would have sought these things out, but they just don't. That's just not a goddamn thing. And, like, there's also stuff like, because I'm, I'm a big Stephen King fan. Yeah. And, like, Stephen King is the type of author that's like, he's also funny. Yeah. There's humor all throughout his books, but not like, but not like, I don't know that I've ever

been reading a Stephen King book and literally laughed out loud. But those three books I named earlier have made cracking up throughout the whole thing, like out loud alone in a room. And like, it's also just that that's really hard to do. It's super fucking hard. You know, like, you know, we were talking about it the other day. like I can I can read a sketch and absolutely know that it's fucking funny right yeah absolutely this is great but I'm not sitting there cracking up so like when that does

happen it's like god damn this is fucking something else because usually you need to see it well that's like we were talking to you know we had these meetings trying to find a potential showrunner for our next round of Comedy Central digital sketches which we've already said we're going to do and we're excited about and everybody we talked to about it all said some version of like you know, the first, I think one of the most important things you do when you have sketches and you're trying to figure out how to make them as best as they can be, the very first thing you do is a table read because of a sketch, you need to hear it. Like, you need to hear it. Absolutely. And that lets you better understand what you're really dealing with here. You know,

because, like, again, it's hard to be super funny with, like, just the written word. Yeah, it's very hard. Dude, we tell people all the time with our book, when it comes to our book. Yeah. We tell people all the time, like, if you're asking us the way to consume our book, get the audio book and listen to us because you get to hear our voices saying this shit, and we think that makes a big difference. I mean, it does. Yeah, without a doubt, that's why we literally had, I won't say fight with the publisher. We didn't have to fight with them, but we did have to have a conversation that was like, look, we're going to spell a bunch of shit wrong because we need them to say it like this. That was the whole reason we did that.

Like, I don't know if people, I'm sure there's at least a few people. there that read the book and thought that it was some kind of like gimmicky thing we were doing because we spelled things phonetically. We spelled things the way that we say them. We ain't the fucking first people to do that by a long shot. No. But our entire book was written that way. And we knew that from the beginning.

And I'm sure there were some people that read that and thought, like I said, it was just some like gimmicky bullshit or something. But we had a discussion about it. And the whole reason we decided to do that is because we wanted to do everything we could do to ensure that when people read that book, they hurt. heard it in their heads the way we wanted it to be heard. Yeah, which, yeah, the way we would say it. As you said, and comedy matters so fucking much.

So like, yeah, man, it's actually, now that we've talked this through, it's a huge thing. Christopher Moore is so much more impressive than I even thought he was. I know, right. He gets no visual. He gets no, I mean, nowadays you do get audio. Like, you can have somebody, you can have it narrated or whatever. But, like, dude, that's fucking, that's fucking crazy.

It's almost like that dude is really goddamn talented. Right. so and this is going to be a weird transition uh this has nothing to do with you christopher more if you listen to our podcast i'm sure you don't but you still hit for us and we're here for you anyway uh i've just been wanting to bring us up to you for a while this is a total noncequeter joe have you ever heard of shiramee the japanese butthole bigfoot much like the combination kfc taco bell i went to earlier this is a lot to process uh-huh say All that again.

The description of it, I put in my own words. But when I give, when I actually explain it to you, you will find, I believe, that I described it perfectly. Okay. So that's not what it's. No, his name is Shira Mae. Oh, it's a dude. What I said, it's like a mythical figure. Okay.

Like Bigfoot in America. Shira May, the butthole Bigfoot. Sheer May, the Japanese butthole Bigfoot. Okay. You ever heard of him? No. Okay. So let me tell you about him.

Shira Mae, which in Japanese means buttocks eye, is a yokai, which a yokey are a class of supernatural monsters, spirits, and demons from Japanese folklore. So Japanese folklore things. So like squid demons? Probably. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, they clearly get weird. Right. Let me tell you about shirame.

Okay. So, yeah, yokey is Japanese folklore. So, yeah, our big foot and our fucking, you know, you're, you know, you. talked about green eyes and the bellwits and shit like that it's the japanese version of that she remains a yoki with an eye in the place of his anus the story goes as follows this is the folk legend long ago a samurai was walking at night down the road to kiotto when he heard someone calling out for him to wait who's there he asked nervously only to turn around and find a man stripping off his clothes and pointing his bare buttocks at the flabbergasted traveler.

A huge glittering eye then opened up where the strange man's anus should have been. That's it. That's the entire legend. The whole thing is just based on somebody's like, I've seen a dude bend over and he had an asshole or he had an eye for an asshole. So there's no like this, what he does, like if you turn around three times in a mirror. I just told you what he does. he shows you his butthole eye

and this is their big foot but I'm not saying he's on the level of big foot like in cultural relevancy but this is an actual Japanese folk legend that is fucking tremendous like a Japanese folk creature Shirameh that is fucking tremendous

the Japanese butthole Bigfoot no I'd never heard of that and thank you for bringing most anything butthole related to my attention dude let's I don't know how I was to say this other than to just say like I sincerely don't mean any of this in a racist fashion.

But let's just be like... Here we go. Dude, they are so wild. Wild as fuck, man. Like, and I don't think that's racist. That's nice. Well, because I'm not even saying...

Most of it hits for me. I don't even mean it in like a negative way necessarily. Some of it's, I don't hit for me, but like, but like just in terms of just sheer wildness. Yeah. They've got to take the cake, right? Like, dude, they shit is wild, man. Do you think it's, do you think it's because they're,

They're the oldest civilization on earth, and therefore... Are they? I'm not saying they're not, but are they? Is that true? I think. I feel like their culture has been around the longest. And you mean it continuously. Yes, continuously.

They've been the Japanese culture for longer than anyone else has been. Because obviously you got like... Actually, no, it's China. Right. Asian culture. That shit's been going on for a long time. Yeah, they're really good at staying around. For sure.

So I guess what I mean. is like because of that they're very ahead of us in a lot of things because they've been like tweaking their bullshit for a very long time i mean they still ain't figured fucking forks out go figure but like quick tangent how do you feel about that whole thing of like and i don't mean chopsticks as a device i mean i would like your feelings on that also but what i mean is like Americans go to an Asian place, Chinese, Japanese food, whatever, and want to eat it with chopsticks. There and only there. How you feel about that?

I think it's stupid. Okay. I think, by the way, if you know how to do it and you're good at fucking, yeah, rip it up. My thing is like... Because Katie's like that. No, but if you... But I'll see people sit there and just struggle for a whole hour to eat their meal, and I'm like, dude, just get a fucking Ford for Christ's sakes. Hey.

Hey, Drew. What's up? Don and Nick. Hey, what's up, guys? So Drew just came in with his buddies, Don and Nick, and Corey had to go find the sound guy, so we've just abruptly shifted gears on y'all. But me and Corey were talking about the Japanese, Drew. Oh, good.

Well, here's that starting. I don't want to have to rehear. I'll let you catch me up. Let me apologize to our fans real quick. I know four of you maybe missed me. We told them that. Nick's one of my oldest friends from Los Angeles, greatest guys in the world, used to give me a ride to school, even though he didn't have to.

every day. We, collectively, I'm also involved in this, should have done the podcast the last two days. Correct. I knew that I was supposed to meet with him. We just didn't bring it up to y'all. We didn't get into the details of it, but we did say, Drew did not bail on the podcast, like, because we were on tour. But I do feel super responsible because I knew I had something to do today. And last night was so drunk, I was throwing tables over and making Corey take dirt. It was. Well, like you said, though, yeah, we should have done the podcast before.

Did you all talk about, did you talk about how much the stones hit? No. All right. We'll get into that. Go ahead. With Japanese. I don't want the listeners actually the exact same thing over again, so I'm going to try to be very brief with it, but I do want you to know about it. Have you ever heard of Shiramey, the Japanese butthole Bigfoot?

Yes. For real? Yeah. Okay. No. No. No, I haven't heard of that. What?

It's a Japanese folk legend about a crypto zoo illogical, like, you know, like Bigfoot. Do we have Bigfoot? When you say folk legend, I hear 100 years old. Oh, I don't know the age. But it's like a- In the age of the internet, nothing surprises me. But if they've been afraid of a butthole Bigfoot since 1942, I need to know the details. No, no, no.

It predates that. Okay. Does it predate the atomic bomb? It goes back to like, you know, like, OG samurai days. What? Yeah. A butthole Bigfoot? Yes.

And the very brief legend goes, a samurai was walking home one night and encountered a man stripping all his clothes off naked and the samurai said what are you doing and he turned around and spread his butt cheeks and showed him his asshole but instead of an asshole it was a eyeball staring at the guy and that's it that's the entire thing but that legend has endured some people believe he's still out there i almost showing his asshole eye ball to everybody and then before i could get it out i was like that's the most terrifying thing i could possibly think of his asshole looked into myself. If you talk about to flash you, I'm going to tell a story from law school.

Yes. You just think you're about to be flashed. That's obviously horrific. All right. But if when he flashes you, it's an eyeball instead of an asshole. Oh, my God. I'm going to tell a story from law school in honor of Nick being here and in honor of Bigfoot butthole. All right.

This girl who I won't mention my name, because I still talk to her every once in a while, she had a party for her birthday. Her birthday is close to mine and Micah's birthday. Nick knows Micah. You know Michael. Uh-huh. And he got a big old set of jaws. His jaws are three foot wide, just like his shoulders. She had this party, and it was at her apartment in Boston, which was a one-bedroom tiny apartment, as you can imagine.

And she had these friends. I don't know how she met him, but they ordered strippers to come to the party. What's wrong? I can't. I can't do it anymore. I can't suspend this. I know. I'm sorry.

Corey's looking for his phone. He's using my phone to do it. I can't. I am listening to you, though. Can we pause it? Yeah, go ahead. Don't hit the red button. Okay, anyway.

Yes, this is this girl that you're not going to know. Tiny apartment. Right. I almost said her name. I'm glad you said you know. Anyway, they ordered strippers, and then her friends. She did? Yeah. She's wild son.

She rules. And then her friends, that's why I still talk to her, that we didn't know went and got four or $500 worth of ones and just passed them around the party. in anticipation of these strippers. They must have spent all their money on the ones, and they didn't get the best stripper.

Buddy, it was rough when they showed up. They had the bouncer with him. He was wearing a Boston jacket. He definitely had a gun on him. Everybody was a little bit nervous. I'm sad on this to say, you told that story, and I immediately thought of when she bent over. She pulled her butt hole out.

She bent over. I mean, it was a wild show. They was using dildos on each other. And what made it awkward was the apartment was smaller than this room. this room. It wasn't like there was a stage. These girls were just in the floor fucking each other with dildos and all these law students. These type A, I'm

the best of the best type. And like a few of us were degenerates at heart. And we were like, this rules. That was like four of us. I've been to a couple parties. But of the four, two of them were a surprise. If you know what I mean. Like there was a couple where they were both super into it. And everybody was like, wow, they're on law review together. That's a lot.

They're about to fuck these two girls. This is crazy. But for everyone else... And their presence is what made this awkward. And there was no way out without going through them. That's how small the apartment was. Like, if I had wanted to leave, I'd have to walk through a pile of fuck. Right.

Do you understand? Yes. So they're doing all that. She stands up, one of them stands up right in front of me. She bends over, and she spreads her ass apart. Right. So I could see her butt hole. And buddy, you wish it was an eyeball, right?

So gnarly. God damn. Well, there were shape bumps, which sucked. Right. I don't know it's hard being a woman. I'm not trying to judge here, but it was not bleached. I think eyeball would have made it worse in so many ways. Well, yeah.

I mean, other than a turd, what could have been the worst thing to come out of her ass on that moment? An eyeball. Right. Because, because. That ain't what, or not, this is what made me think of it. My buddy, Matt Barnett, who you've met, was right beside me, and I look at him and he puts his head down it, and it's hard to make him blush. And he wasn't blushed as much as he was disgusted.

and then our friend, another man. He's at an eyeball, and he's like, no, but it's staring right into my soul. That's exactly what it was. Another Matt goes, did you see into her butthole? He just said it because he didn't care. He's from Canada. You know how they are. This is in front of the girl.

He's like, do you see into her butt hole? And Matt goes, she saw into my soul. With her butthole. That was Sheerbred, dude. I think I saw Sherribe. She took the form of this Boston fucking stripper. Clearly. God damn,

she did have an accent. I just remember that, too. Just a Southie Boston act. You guys want to say, I can't do it. You want to see my butt hole? Let me ask you fucking quiz. What are you doing, Quay?

Look at my butthole. Anyway. Yeah. That's phenomenal. I came in the middle of this story and just dropped an atomic bomb on it, if you will. Well, so like briefly,

what we were talking about you walked in here is like, people, white people, Westerners, whatever. Sure. It would be black Americans too, whatever, just using,

like going out of, their way to use chopsticks when they're in like an Asian restaurant. And I mean like in a place where like they give you forks and shit too, but also chopsticks. Right. How do you feel about that? Used to hate it. Used to be very like you're just showing off. Now as it's become so ubiquitous, I sort of am like, it's like a generational thing.

It's almost like Instagram or something where you're like, oh, you're going to post pictures of yourself. That's the whole thing. And now it's like, well, everybody's doing it. I guess it's normal. Right. but it's like, is it like, is it like respectful of the culture? Or is it like... If they're giving them to you?

Or is it like the op... Yeah, you're right. If they're giving them to you, then they want you to use them. Or they're happy about you. Yeah. Right, yeah. Right. With sushi, I feel like it's more part of the experience.

I will say this one. I see people doing with noodles. And I'm even talking about my own wife. Honestly, a fork feels weird with sushi. I either use like, you know, chopsticks or just my fingers. Right. I stay using my fingers. Me too, yeah.

But when it's like noodles, Or like a salad, like a seaweed salad. Yeah. I'm like, come on. We get it. You're better than us. Katie will use chopsticks at our house with just us. Andy will do that.

When it's that shit. If she's eating that shit. She's like, I need some chopsticks. And if I, you know, and she's like, we should buy, I have metal chopsticks. So whenever I'm eating noodles. Andy used to have a pair. Wait, pause. Oh my God.

Andy used a pair, but my cousin Tasha got them for me. And I realize now she just assumed, I was that kind of asshole. Tasha just got me a set of chopsticks one year for my birthday. She didn't get him for Andy? No, maybe she did. Nick, you can just nod your head. You can just nod your head.

And then what about just noodle place? Okay, he was a yes and then a no. What about you, Don? Yes, for both? Yes and no. Okay, that's what I'm saying. Not to be stereotypical here, but I'm allowed to be stereotypical about our own white. I feel like that's largely white woman thing in my.

my opinion. Trying to do it on noodles? Just like for, yeah, that whole thing of like, oh, I'm having noodles or seaweed salad or whatever. That's, I'm supposed to have chopsticks for this. Obviously, and a, you know, and a Japanese and Chinese woman thing. This is. But that goes without saying. This is super stereotypical.

But I think it's fair. I think women like to do little stuff. To make the experience. It's like the Pinterest of eating. Right. It's chopsticks. The Pinterest of eating. Yes.

Same reason they put fucking salads in mason jars and whatever. Yes. And like I've always said, lady, just because it's on Pinterest, don't make it Pinterest thing. So keep it to yourselves, God damn it. I don't know how much time we are there. We are there. I mean, do you want to talk about the stones? If you want to.

Freeply at the ends? You want to say, like. Let's get real about it. Right. In no way disappointed. I know. That's like. Super phenomenal.

Like. But, man, I just don't ever want to see any band at an arena. Again. I've seen, I've seen, like, I felt that way for a while about. like arena or stadium concerts they've honestly never really hit for me let me ask you this though and i know it wasn't in arena you saw conya at bonneroo the second time or just the first uh i wasn't his first time his first time was before i started going i went five years in a row 2009 to 2013 or whatever which i know sounds like four years but that's five bonneros and uh and you missed

all of his first year was 2008 his second time his second time was after i quit going Okay, so the second time I saw him, it was an arena show, but he did it at Bonaroo. Right. Bonaroo is different, though. Bonarroo's not like being in the show. But he had this, like, weird cube that was a little out of place at Bonaroo. Because it was like, dude, just walking on stage and sing to us. But he was in the cube, and it was blasting, and it was wild looking. And I could imagine that kind of thing hitting at a stadium.

And I've seen, like, videos of him at the garden where he's, like, on this platform, and he floats above people. which is wild as hell. Like, imagine that. Yeah, but. Like, in other words, he designed his show to be big in an arena. Which I feel like you have to do. And the stones kind of did it too. They did.

They had these massive screen towers where they played like, you know, they played visual effects and intercut shots. Like, they did a lot with the footage of them on the live footage. You look at the big screen. You see Keith Richards playing the guitar. but it's not just him doing it. It's him doing it with like, you know, rainbow shit happening

or fucking Japanese tattooed women showing up out of nowhere and that type of shit over the top of him, you know, playing the guitar. That's the thing. And I feel like we're definitely meandering right now. They, the Rolling Stones were, I don't really think you could ask any more of them. It's unbelievable.

They were the stones. They were tied as hell. They sounded great. They played all the hits. The drummer had a, what's his name? They're 70 fucking seven years old. What's the drummer's name Morris? Charlie Watts.

What? Charlie. And I knew it was something like cute. Like Charlie. They're old as fuck. Charlie had a, uh, fucking show. He had a drummer cam that like looked up at him. And he had that look in his face of an old man who didn't know where he was at. Right.

But he was also crushing. Well, again, though, that's kind of always been Charlie Watts's thing. Exactly. Is looking that way. And Mick, and Mick was out there dancing. And I got to say this, man. I love Keith Richards. And you didn't believe me, but then I sent you the back-to-back picks.

And you guys can go. check, I want to say my Instagram, maybe my Twitter, he looks now like the boy in deliverance. The banjo kid from deliverance, yeah. His ears are big. You said that, and I was like, there's no way because there's 70 years difference between those two individuals, but then you sent a picture, and he does look like the banjo kid from deliverance.

But still murdered. Absolutely. And that's what I was saying. They were great. They were exactly what you want them to be. I just personally, I cannot, I cannot connect with a. with a concert with a live music show from 100 yards away

in that big of a fucking in a goddamn stadium from up in the seats in the stadium I just don't like it feels more to me like you're watching it on a really good AV set up in somebody's theater in their home. Okay but I'll go a step further. It doesn't feel like you're like fucking in there with them

main stage at Monoroo I'm often at the back if I don't love the band right but I still feel like I'm in the crowd. That's another thing that was different about that stadium thing. I definitely watched

Odessa, Odessa. I don't know what the fuck they were. No. You know what I'm talking about? You're talking about their opener? No, no, no, no.

The band. They're like a band that me and you in Bonneroo. I saw them Friday night at the main stage. I don't know. And they ruled.

I was very much at the back. I was watching on the screen. But the back was still in the long with a bunch of drug-outed hippies and were dancing around having a good time. You're not sitting in fucking stadium seats.

And I wasn't sitting for the Stone Show the whole time. But I was like standing by this old berm, like, you know, sold insurance. You're in like theater seating almost. You have to back up and let people walk by all the time. Yeah, he smelled like Old Spice and like mediocrity. But again, don't get me wrong. I'm so glad I did it because I've never seen them before. This was every year for my dad's birthday, which is September 5th.

So somewhere in the month before or month after September 5th, whatever the best show I can find that can go to music show live concert is I go for my dad's birthday ever since he passed away and it always has to be something I know he would that he would also appreciate and at first it was like my shit but stuff that I know he would like like

Jason Isbell and Sturgel Simpson but I've sent seen like a drive-by truckers was one year Lucinda Williams and Dwight Yolkham Steve Earl was one year right but like but the fucking stones though like he he probably saw the stones 10 times or something he would drive

anywhere in a 600 mile radius he would drive to see the stones that they were playing he saw him multiple times he fucking loved them and so like I was never not going to go and I'm glad that I went but that just stadium arena setting thing

I just can't get into that man what I said I think or maybe this isn't how I said it was how I'm into set I'll be happy if I never go to a state notice I didn't say I'll never go to one again and if I did well if we start hitting hard enough and we've got like headers passes

to something like that. That's totally different. Sure. That's a rule. But just go into one, I'm not going to do it. Because honestly, the Stones are maybe the only band on earth that could have even gotten me to go to one in the first place. Well, and on that note, this is Andy's favorite band. It's like her top bucket list item as far as bands go.

It was a day after our wedding anniversary. She walked down the aisle to She's Like a Rainbow. Right. And then they played that. And it was unexpected. They didn't just play it. They popped up on those giant tower screens. It popped up four.

songs and it said we did an internet poll which song did you want a hit Pasadena? I don't know why I'm doing Liverpool because it's the only one I can even close to do. Anyway, they were like, we did an internet poll of which one of these songs and that one won. She's like a rainbow one. Because of course it was Southern California. And he's where she belongs.

What I'm saying is watching her, I know this is cheesy. Watching her have fun hit for me harder than any aspect of that concert. Yeah. Other than the hot dogs and I got the shirt I wanted. But yeah. Even though it was sold out. It was great. The stones are still great. like they're awesome.

It's still the stone. Especially at their age, it's insane how great they are. Don, how old are you? 55. They're like 20 years older than you and they sprint around stage. Dude, I remember my dad. Mick Jagger, his wife is a 28-year-old ballerina. I was talking about this on stage last night.

For me to date a 28-year-old right now would be something. That would be me like really, like, really Drew. That's what you can do right now. But a ballerina, I don't have the balls to be married to a baller. arena, that's intimidating as fuck. Yeah, I mean, yeah, not if you make Jagger. Exactly. But like, dude, my dad, I remember when I was a kid, my dad talking about the

stones watching like live performances of them on TV and stuff, and my dad being like, you're like, son, them bull, motherfuckers is your paw's age. His dad, my grandpa's like, they're the same age as your paw. Ain't that wild? And that was fucking 20 years ago. I just imagine a little fat tray, baby. sitting there drinking tang you know, got 19 cavities in his mouth.

Like, look at him, Papa, they could move. Dude, at that time, my grandpa was, he was a goddamn, he was old as shit. He died of a heart attack a while ago, right? Fucking 2014, 15 years ago. He'd been dead for 15 years and for five plus years before he died. My dad was talking about how the Rolling Stones were the same age as him, ain't that fucking crazy? And they're still out there doing it.

It's fucking nuts, man. So don't get me wrong. they, you know, hot take, you heard her here first, the Rolling Stones rule. Pretty good live! Pretty good live! Right, obviously that's ridiculous, but I'm saying, like, I just don't want it to be misconstrued. They're fucking awesome. I just, that stadium shows, I just can't, it ain't my thing.

Maybe if you're down in the pit. It ain't my thing. I'm sure if you're down in the pit, different story. All right. But yeah, we got to go do our own show, not in a stadium. In the fucking sidebar of a rap club in Pontiac, Michigan. be a good time though. She'll be a good time.

We're not going to be able to hear the bass of a DJ booth at all. We are. Yeah, well, anyway. Don, I don't know this. Don't know this. Don did comedy for about six years in the 80s, early 90s. Oh, that was the time to do it, man. And he was accurately saying, while laughing like a hyena, once we walked in and saw that,

you boys are going to have to work tonight. Yeah, you're right, Don. You're right. All right. Let's go to work then. Okay, we'll see y'all next time. Skew! Thank you all for listening to the well-read show.

We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night, and skew. Save big on select major kitchen appliances at Lowe's. Get up to an additional $300 off when you spend $1,996 or more on a qualifying major kitchen appliance. And get free delivery and installation when you spend $5,000, $599 or more.

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