wellRED podcast - #140 - The Boys Hang With MIA JACKSON!

Episode Date: October 23, 2019

This week the boys hung out in studio with the hilarious Mia Jackson and talked about working in an office, orgasms, and the time Corey puked on Trae!Mia Jackson is a bonafide Georgia peach (that's Georgian for “native”) and self proclaimed know-it-all. After graduating from the University of Georgia she hit the local comedy scene and has thrilled audiences since day one. To her credit she has appeared on NickMom's Night Out, Viceland and was a semi-finalist on Season 9 of NBC's Last Comic Standing. She has appeared on Inside Amy Schumer and the movie Mother's Day. In 2017, she was named a New Face at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal and Atlanta's Creative Loafing named her the city's Best Stand-Up. Smart, funny, and versatile, Mia entertains all types of crowds.Remember to leave us a 5 star review if you think we deserve it! Love ya like chicken!Youtube.com/wellredcomedy to WATCH THE PODCASTwellredcomedy.com for tickets!miajackson.com for more on MIA JACKSON!Sponsors:MDRNCBD.com Promo CODE RED for 30% off and Free Shipping!Shinesty.com/RED for your first pair of BALL HAMMOCK boxers for only 5 bucks!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like, you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the. Hello everybody. It's your boy the show. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellredcomedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. That is where you can find out where we're going to be on the remainder of our 2019 tour. Not a lot of dates left. Next week we're going to be in Charlotte, North Carolina, then Charleston, South Carolina, then Denver, Colorado, and then we are closing out the year with our special homecoming slash Christmas shows at the best comedy club in the country, Zanies in Nashville, December 19th through the 22nd. Grab those tickets. They go very quick. Also, subscribe to our newsletter at well-readcom.com.

That way you'll know where we're going to be before my dumbass even knows. Also, now everything is just up on well-readcom. That is where our YouTube page is, YouTube.com slash well-read comedy, which is where also now, if you don't know, you can actually watch this podcast. We've been filming them, and they're up there on our YouTube. You can also just get the podcast on our website, well-red comedy. You can also get merch. We got t-shirts.

We got hats. We got books. We got, yeah, our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. And our album, Well Red, live from Lexington, all sorts of good shit. And like I said, the podcast is up there. Anything from the archives, every single episode at well-readcomedy.com. You're one-stop shop. You don't have to go anywhere else.

This portion of the podcast is always brought to you by Smokey BoysGriling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all your meats and also carvevodka.com. Go to carvevodka.com and check out what the Cho drinks. It's Jacksonville's first and only craft vodka distillery. All right. Enough with my bullshit. Let's get on with this podcast. Special guest, I am...

Excuse me, I had to take a breath there. Excuse me. Special guest on the podcast this week, replacing me. because I was not able to be there because I had some prior engagements. I'm very sorry, but filling in is the so much better than me, so much funnier, so much better of a person, so much better looking.

The amazing Mia Jackson, Mia, was a semi-finalist on Season 9 of Last Comic Standing. You've seen her on Inside Amy Schumer. She's also open for Amy Schumer. You've seen her in the movie, Mother's Day. What else has she done? Oh, yeah. new faces in Montreal and also just a good friend of ours for a long time.

I've known Mia for probably, I want to say, probably close to 10 years, met her at the comedy catch with our buddy, our mutual friend Landry, and she's been making me laugh ever since, and I love her very much. I think the most important thing, though, that she ever did was she was also in Will Redd's first ever sizzle reel that we did about two or three weeks after Tray's video went viral. It went nowhere. You cannot see it, but Mia was in it and Mia crushed. Anyways, enjoy this podcast with Mia Jackson and the boys.

And we love you. And skeew! They're the liberal rednecks. They like cornbread, but sex, they care way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can sub. He usually is piped in. No, I don't think we're...

You don't mean Corey, do you mean Brendan? Yeah. The producer? I wouldn't call him a full-on producer. He's more just like our... Like, the person who does all the things that we're too stupid to do, which I think is what producers normally do, but like he just kind of gets us started and then...

He has no idea what we talk about or anything like that. I feel like a producer would. Right, yeah. Yeah, I'm not trying to at all negate what he does. No, he's great. I think he's just like, no, I don't produce that shit. Oh. Well, also, like, he don't, like, look shit up or anything.

You know, you got like, Jamie, pull that up. Yeah, okay. We don't have that guy. Oh. We're that guy. Yeah, but we just don't do it. So are you? Like, if we're wondering about something on here, we'll just keep wondering about it.

So you don't fact check. No. No. That's actually a thing with us. us kind of like we sort of who have we killed we've killed like three celebrities who aren't dead also wallace shawm was one of them this is um all right let's get into it you know did you think wallace sean was dead i'd had i just googled him the other day because i saw i saw a dog that looked like and then i was like you know which actor and i went i think he died and i went oh he's still alive we did

too he's doing great he's killing he was in something recently young sheldon he's in that show i guess It's fine. There's a band from the 60s and 70s. It's the mama's and the popas, right? I'm right about it this time. Yeah. That's a very gnarly backstory where one of the guys had an incestuous relationship with his daughter. Yeah, John Phillips.

Yes. I blamed it on. Who did I blame it on? The drummer for Fleetwood Mac. The drummer for Fleetwood. Which is Mick Fleetwood. Which is slandering. You're slandering Mick Flewled.

He was. He was. He was. This is that thing happening in my brain. People say all the time, Fleetwood Max incestuous, because they all slip with each other. Right, right, right.

But they're not literally incestuous, which is what the mama's and the popas, which... Right. How's it going to be the mamas and the popas? That's such a gross... Yeah, that whole story is like, y' yuck. Yuck.

Yuck. I've read and, like, saw the interviews and... It was rough. So you just generally, like, know more stuff than we do. I can tell. Like, we have, like, everything we've been. brought up and be like, listen to what we fucked up. You're like, yeah, I already know. You didn't know that?

I knew that already. The one thing she didn't know, she looked up immediately. Right, which we also didn't do. Who is this actor and is he alive? Yeah. We just said he was dead and rolled with that. Yeah, I do a lot of, I read a, I read a lot and I just, I just, it's just, I like, and I like celebrity gossip. Oh, yeah.

What's the juiciest shit going on right now? By the way, I meant to tell you before we started, but then we kind of started quicker and I thought we would. Corey, who isn't on today, sorry y'all, Sands Cho again. We got another substitute show here, and Mia Jackson. But Corey will have done the intro by the time anybody's hearing this, and he will have given you a full intro and everything. So they will know who you are by this point. But this is Mia, everybody.

And so anyway, what's the, what's like the hot goss or whatever? You know what? That's a thing people say. I saw it on The Good Place last week. Someone said that. I love the Good Place. The Good Place Rules. It's a great show.

What's the, well, okay, it's not, it's not necessarily hot gossip. But what I enjoy, I mean, I read a lot of people's autobiographies. And I was just talking about this recently, even though the book came out a couple of years ago. But I don't know if you've ever read Bobby Brown's autobiography. No, but I bet it's something else. Let me tell you. you there's a part where he talks about having sex with a ghost. Yeah.

The ghost of someone he knew or someone famous or just a ghost. He had a, I think it was a mansion in Atlanta. And he said it used to be owned by a porn director or something. And he said he woke up. And then he's like, he looks up to the mirrored ceiling. And he's like, yeah, there's a ghost riding me. And like, that's in the book. Ghost riding a dick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when he was a kid, there was a part where he talked about accidentally frying chicken in cocaine. What? Yeah, because he did like his, it was like. Oh, they were cooking it in his house and then? Like he was a child and it was in the freezer. And that's, yeah, and yeah.

And it was. Thought it was lard? He thought, no, he thought it was, he thought it was flour. Oh, he, he, battered it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he thought, yeah. And so I was so, so I love getting. love getting a hold of a good autobiography and just getting into people's business.

I have to know. It's so good. Did he connect that at all with his problems? Did he? I don't know if he stopped a phone line. I can't remember. I will say, to be fair to him, if he did, if you grow up in a household that has cocaine in the freezer, if that part is true, then I could connect that easily to your problems. This is right.

But the sentence, I accidentally ate chicken battered in cocaine and now I'm fucked up. Fried it. Because apparently, like, his parents, they were, you know, all his parents was in the house. I think his mom, I think in the book, he talked about his mom being a teacher, but he didn't know, like, she was, I think, doing selling drugs on the side or something like that. Yeah. And so that's how it all, yeah. And then he's like, his mom comes in and smells like the scent. And she's like, what is, what do you fry?

Cocaine does have a sense. Yeah. It smells real good. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, really? But yeah. I actually don't like cocaine at all.

I would hope, you know, you wouldn't be into it. It's lucky to not be into it. Yeah, well, I mean, I've tried it. I'm not trying to be, like, holier than anybody. I don't like uppers. I think you can be. Okay. Well, I think you can like something without being into it.

In terms of drugs. Yeah, what you have to. Like, when it comes to drugs, you could try something to be like, Oh, I like this too much. And then you make yourself not be into it. Yeah. That makes, yeah, because you can be like, I like the way this makes me feel. But I know it's a bad idea.

Right. And I don't maybe want to become a Cokehead. So you wouldn't say that you're into it, but you do like it. You enjoy it. Yeah. The rule you. It sounds like you're just saying that she does. I don't enjoy it at all.

I've never done cocaine. Yeah. No, that's not what I meant. Hey, I wanted to ask you something. Okay. I am so sorry if I'm way off face. No. Let's hear it.

Did you used to have a bit, like, making fun of dudes about dick picks specifically or, like, any kind of dick pick bit? Yes. Okay. What was the, you don't have, I'm not asking you to do the bit, because I know that's fucking weird. But, like, what was the general premise of it? Because I want to see if I was right about this. The general premise, it was, one, it was talking about me getting them for the first time. And then saying that when I got the picture, how, because it was the first time I had gotten it, I thought.

It was a bill from Verizon. And I was like large and overdue. And then I talked about how the person sent it in and it's like, hey, this is a work of art and this should Van go in your vagina. Yeah. So, yeah. But did you then get into like how it wasn't a work of art, it looked shitty and that they should like take some, like take some pride in it? Was that part of it at all? Yeah, because I used to say there was one part where I said, because I would also go women.

do a better job with our pictures that we actually like clean up and shine up things. And I said that men should, you know, like, oh, you know, put it on a countertop. Put a doily underneath it. Use a shirt as a backdrop. Yes. That's what I was thinking of. The other day, some friend of his sent him a text that was like, what was it? Y'all should do a sketch about someone who takes like J.C. Penny style dickpicks for dudes.

And has anyone done that or whatever? And I was like, I don't know. and I sent that to them. I was like, has anybody done this? This sounds familiar, but I can't place it. I've seen a sketch, though. There is a sketch like that, yeah. I actually saw a sketch and then like, because I remember when I, I don't remember who did it,

but I know when I did the joke a long time ago, I was like, oh, there's a sketch. And I kind of dropped that part where I would like, oh, you know, if people take picks, they should go to Sears and they should. Yeah. And then when I saw a sketch, I went, okay, I won't do it. That part of the joke. Well, that, I mean, that wasn't why I brought it out. We were just trying to figure out where that came from in our brains. Because it was like, no, that feels familiar.

And I said that I thought that it was you, that I'd seen you do a bit like that before in Knoxville or something. Yeah, I'm like, dress it up, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I have seen a sketch, though. But I, yeah, yeah. So I guess that particular bit is not on your new specialist coming out. You know what I don't think it is. I don't remember. Has it been that long since I said.

Did you type it a really long time ago or something? I typed in January of this year. Wow. Where at New Orleans? New Orleans, yes, at the New Orleans. Royal and Civic Center. We're going there in May. Are you?

Was it awesome? It was great. Yeah, it was fun. And it really, it made me realize how many terrible vocal tics I have. And then I also went, who wants to hear my voice for this long? And how have I been walking around with this voice my whole life? Right. Because you had to do the whole thing where like, you had to listen to it a lot, right?

If you had done it to get the, like, final cut of it that you were into it. I can't imagine. It's a nightmare. I hate. He would have to imagine because we did all that for him on our album. So you didn't even do it? No. You didn't listen?

When he's, I, I, not, I did, yes, I listened to it. I had to give, uh, I had to cut down, I had to cut it down at the end to get it to fit or whatever. So I had to listen to all of it and make like the final cut. He may have done that, but I also chose which jokes to cut. I texted you, these are the two you should cut and you're like, okay, cool. And I was like, yeah, do that. Trey, I am stunned. And now.

I'm the producer. And Corey is, Corey's actually more of the problem. producer than me to be fair. I don't even know what to believe anymore. I genuinely feel like I trust a other, a different person more than myself when it comes to picking that type of thing. I believe that. I think that I'm the worst, I'm not, I'm the worst judge of my own, in both directions.

Like, just because I like something the best doesn't mean that it should be on there or just because I hate something doesn't mean that it shouldn't be on there. I just feel like it, I believe you. I'm better off to have a neutral. part, a neutral. I believe you. I'm not how neutral he is. But she's here, so you're being nice.

If you weren't here, you know what he would say. I mean, that's what y'all would be doing for me. Y'all need to be doing that stuff, right? You know, because I'm the headliner and y'all need to be doing that. No. That's not true. He'll mostly say that to Corey, like right to his face. Is Corey just do that for me? Tongue and cheek, you know.

But I do want him to do it, though, when I say it. All right, we have to revisit a story because you'll enjoy this. Oh, God. God, damn it. Let me hear it. This is like the hammered drunk. Now we're pulling back the curtain. We did Star Dome. We played a Star Dome.

And we, he and Corey killed a bottle of wine during the show. And then during a meet and greet, started to kill another bottle of wine. Right before we left, Corey had wine. And I was like, look, I've been drinking a little. I'm driving. You're not bringing that in the car this time. Like usually I don't care, but like, you know, because we had to go do some stuff or whatever, including

anyway Tray's in the front seat puts a seat all the way back laying back and he's hammered drunk Corey's trying to get in and he's like hey man I can't get in Trai's like just get in you just climb over me

and Corey's like I don't the merch is behind Drew like I can't get in he's like just get in you'll be fine just do it so Corey gets in Tray's like laying in his lap

he's like all right I guess and I mean that starts a little argument between him and then Tray just starts being as he says tongue and cheek just the dickhead just like

yo you you you go and then we get to get cigarettes. We go to get cigarettes. Oh, the reason I brought up the wine and I told Corey I drank, Corey downed it. Corey drank the whole glass of wine. Of course he did.

We get to the store and he's like, go get me cigarettes. And Corey's like, I can't get out. And he's like, you go get me cigarettes. I'm like, I'm not going to get you fucking cigarettes. You've been acting like an asshole. And he's like, y'all need to go get me stuff. Like, if it weren't for me, y'all would be here right now.

And Corey's like, fuck it. I'll just go. I'll go get him cigarettes. He's not going to shut up. Will you at least, and I think Corey's thought was, he'll at least lean forward to let me go get cigarettes, and I'll be comfortable with the rest of this ride. So he's like, well, at least lean forward,

so I can go get you cigarettes, sir, like being sarcastic or whatever. Traj's like, climb over, still won't lean forward. So you're just laid back. Yeah, into Corey's like, in the core of, like chest. And laughing the whole time. Like he thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. They are my subjects.

Corey leaves. Wow. keeps doing it to me. I'm like, there ain't even no one here right now, Trey. You can't tell me this is a bit.

There's no audience. And we get like actually into it. Corey was gone. You were just doing it to me. Yeah, this is the argument we were having, but he was hammered drunk. I threatened him.

He was like, for real? And I'm like, he was being ridiculous. And I like threatening him like, I'm going to beat you up. I was like, dude, shut the fuck up.

Like, this ain't funny to me anymore. He's like, all right, cool. And I'm like, all right, cool. And I think we're cool. Cory gets back in the car. He starts right back in on Corey again, which I did think was funny, to be completely honest. He gets back in, Mia, just wait. We get to the hotel.

He's still doing it. Corey's like, let me out. Trey's laughing now because now it's become the bits become the bit. Now it's out of control. Let's see how far we can push it. Corey pukes the entire glass of wine that he down on to Trey. Who is in his lap. Who's in his lap.

Yeah. And there's nothing. There's nothing. Just. I, I, I ain't ever been that happy now alone. The next day I was depressed, that maybe if I have a son or daughter when I look into their eyes, other than that,

nothing has ever felt that good. I wouldn't even there, and that is like. I heard it first, too. I didn't see it because I got down the car. Do you understand? Like, I heard it, and I stopped. And I was sitting there and I made a deal with God. When I turn around, if that's on him, I'll do whatever you want for a week.

Oh, my God. Because I heard it. And I was like, please. You just. Your prayers. And it was silent. So I knew. That is.

What kind of wine was it? Red one. Oh, I was hoping it was red. Oh. Very red. I was hoping. I was hoping it was red. So you were stained.

Yeah. Well, I had a black shirt on and I still wear that shirt all the time. Okay. You've washed it since. Well, I mean, yeah. But I still smells like justice. So anyway, yeah, we edited his album. We have a running thing and always have about me being, you know, the king?

The liege lord, yes. Oh, okay. And it's like, and so I was hammered drunk as he said. This is a joke he invented that apparently is that a running thing. That's bullshit. We got this running joke. That is bullshit. I heard that defense before.

Sexual harassment. That is that. He had a running joke. I grabbed a rat. That is bullshit. That's what we do in the office. They easily make an equal amount of those jokes about me as I do. Like about how, and it's always about how like, how shitty and, you know, whatever, like, okay, my lord, yes, we'll do this for you, whatever.

Like, they do that kind of shit all the time. Also, they play into it. It's a running thing. What are we supposed to do? This is how we get by, you know, when you're a comedian, you take your pain, you turn into jokes. Okay. You're right. Anyway, it's a thing.

I was hammered drunk. In my mind, in my very drunken mind, I'm just doing this thing. And I think it's hilarious. But like, they're not hammered drunk. And so it's that thing where like you're around a person way drunker than you and they're not. Like, I thought it was funny. And I was just crushing. But I really was just being completely incorrigible.

In your drunk brain. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that happens shit. So your drunk brain was like, this is amazing. And they were like, we see who you are as a person right now. Well, speaking of being shitty as people, we completely derailed what was very much supposed to be about you. And now it all makes sense what you just told me. Yeah.

Okay. Like, because I did that. No, I did it. I definitely did it. You did it. All right. No, it's fine. So what's going on with you, man?

Yeah, the special is coming out on November 1st. November 1st at 11.30 p.m. I'm so pumped. Happy for you. Yes. Thank you. I haven't even said on Comedy Central. Comedy Central.

We still haven't even said that. Well, I was about to say, Yes. People have had, Comedy Central, it's one of those things that's been around forever. So it goes through these waves that, you know,

you hear people be like, oh, comedy Central's fell off and comedy Central's this or that. When I saw the list of names, yours at the top of this for me, I was like, hey, they got it right. It seems like.

There was definitely some people I didn't know, So I'm like, we'll see. But you, Dave Borey, you two specifically, I was like, those are two the funniest people I know doing it. And I'm like a little surprised Comedy Central's put them on because they, but Commy Central has been figuring. I mean, they put us on. They've been figuring it out, you know what I mean? Yeah. No.

Is it 30 or an hour? No, it's a half hour. Did you? How much did you film or tape or whatever? I taped about, I think I did about 30 minutes. I think I did I do 35. Somewhere between 30 to 35, but I think I did around 30. Right, but because it's on Comedy Central, there will be commercials and stuff.

Yeah, so 22 minutes. It'll be 21, 22 minutes. Did you get to pick which 22 or did they? Like, they sent me a cut of it and then asked if I had any notes, and then there's now the final cut, which I haven't looked at yet because I am fearful of seeing it. I can't imagine because it's like we were talking about hearing your own voice is one thing. Yeah. And just watching how, and then I was wearing heels, and that's not a thing I really do often. And it was on heels on carpet.

Every movie make, you're just like, what was that? What was that I just did? Why would I do that thing with my hand right there? What are my elbows doing? Oh, my God. How much did you think about your outfit? You're not a, you're not a whole, yeah, because this, I do not plan things well at all. Like, I'm trying.

But I got the outfit two days before I went. But I was like, I wanted to look, you know, good or whatever. And I happened to be in Atlanta and my BFF, we were walking through the mall. We just see this mannequin with this jumpsuit on. And we're like, oh, that's it. And jumpsuits are easy because it's like, oh, it looks like a well put together thing. Until you have to pee. Right.

But have you worn a jumpsuit? I don't know about him, but I've just. always thought about that whenever I ever like, yeah, my wife digs those things or whatever. Anytime ever, I'm always like, that has to be how that works, right? Like you just like, take the whole entire thing off just to pee and I've just, yeah. Yeah, that's wild. You have to disrobe, but like, yeah, and then it had a belt. So I had to, and the belt kind of, I feel like it had like a seat belt buckle situation,

like a plain buckle thing going on. So I had to turn it around. And then I also had on shapewear holding my gut in. I've never seen that. Oh, you're going to say, I've seen the jumpsuit situation. You asked me if I wore one. I've seen it three different times. It's a whole deal.

They make man jumpsuits. No, I know. I've seen them. Yeah. But they, it's a lot. Yeah, but shapewears is basically like, you know, when I'm sure you've heard women talk about spanks and corsets and all that kind of stuff. And then I, the girl at the store went, we're going to get you in the smallest one possible so we can make. make your waist snatched.

And then she said snatched? That was the word, yeah. That's a word people use about like, we're going to make that waist look snatched. And then she had to suck it in, and then she buttoned it all the way up. And then I, and then just the day of the tape. And I just wore it the whole day. I just got up that morning and I went, this is my body now. I wear, I wear this.

Could you breathe? Not well, you know. You said you didn't have any big actouts, I guess, that night. You know, and if they did, they got caught in the corset. It was, yeah. So it was. Do you wear it? What a relief to be a man.

Yeah. I've seen a man in Spanx one time, and I just thought it was a back brace for like two days. And I realized looking back on it. That's how much male privilege is. None of that you do not have to do it, if you do it, everyone's like, I guess he hurt himself being man with. That is amazing. I'm thinking about looking into it. You should.

Yeah. How, like, uncomfortable are we talking here when it's actually on? And also, is this like an all-day thing that you put it, you know what I mean? Or did you just kind of do it just for the taping? Yeah, because you know what? I put it on the award the day before just to prepare. And I went to eat with it and everything. I mean, that's a good call, I think.

Yeah. And I just, I was in there talking beforehand and eating and just saying this. That's the kind of thing I don't think of. And it was, let me tell you, it was just, I just remember wearing it and going, you know what? it probably would be easier if I just ate right. Yeah, but yeah. But for a day, it would be easier. Eating right for a day would be easier.

I just thought I went, you know what, I could just turn my life around instead of having a resort. Do you eat wrong? No, though. Of course. How hard is it on the road? See, there was a time in my life. Let me.

Because you've had different road experiences. Let's get into it. Let's let's let people know me as life. All right. This is the camp. Yeah. Guys. So there was a time in my life.

life where several years ago I was real chunked up as a person. Okay. Just a real chunked up. I've been real chunked up. That's how I like my Waffle House hash brown. Yeah, I was smothered and I mean, I've, I saw one of the memories pop up recently and I went and nobody was going to say shit to me. Like, y'all just let me sit there and look like that from the side profile. Like nobody.

Do you prefer honesty? Yes. In those scenarios? prefer. I thought you're about to say, can I tell you something? And I was about to get real else. I was going to say. He's been going through a whole thing lately trying to figure out the level of honesty that people actually want from him as a person. I don't want to do the bit. It's a bit I'm working on, but it's like the idea that my mom taught me to be nice and my dad taught me to be honest. And I realized pretty quickly that those two things clashed. And I chose my dad's side. And then one day I was like trying to figure out why my life was hard. And I,

And I looked around, I was, oh, my dad don't have any friends. Because he's telling, he's too, he's harsh. Yeah, and I'm harsh. And I realized that way too late. We're talking like a year and a half ago. I'm 35. I should have picked up on that like, like, like, oh, people don't like this. It took me a whole decade where I was like, oh, people don't like this.

Your brain wasn't developed as a 25-year-old man. But 28, it probably was. No, I thought it was 25 was the age. Is that wrong? For men, no. I thought it was 25 for men, 22 for women. I'm just, I'm just, now this is something. I haven't researched.

This is just my experience. But you do prefer honesty. Well, in that situation, because when I started working out all the time and then lost a bunch of weight. And then when people would see me and see the comparison pictures, I remember my sister going, oh, my gosh, I didn't realize you were so, you were just such a little chunk. And she said, I wish I didn't say anything, sister. I'm so sorry.

And I went, but that's because you saw me all the time. Right. And you didn't see me just, you know, chunking up as a person. And I realized what it was. At the time, I was into gas station hot dogs and gas station milkshakes a lot. You like, she locked them in, she was into them. Yeah. What do you mean?

Like, the way people feel about cocaine. Yeah. Why those specific things? Also, what's a gas station milkshake? I think it's those, they have those machines in gas station. You ain't fat so you don't know about them. I saw one. You and Corey were looking at one one.

For real. For real. For real. Yes. For real shakes. I saw him and Corey looking at one day. Just looking longingly at a milkshake. I was like, please God, no.

I had them. I used to get them all the time and then I would go into quick trip, you know. Yeah. You know, and I would go in there and just get a full hot dog and just be driving around, eating them with, you know, chili on my shirt and just living a life of a. I would pay upwards of $100 to see Corey Pugwer and them for real milkshakes. on you, Trey. That aside.

How long was that period? And wait, was that also you being on the road as a comic? That's what I was about to say. Are we talking about like you were on the road and traveling so like you were hitting a lot of gas stations? Or is this like when you were at home and like you'd run out for lunch to a gas station? It was both. It was both. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a real addition there. Yeah. You were in it. You were deep in it. It was my like day job time plus going on the road on weekends where I'm like, this is what I do. I eat hot dogs from gas. I'm a gas station hot dog eater.

Yeah, but yeah, it was, and then, and then... Did you have a moment where you're like, I guess this is who I am? Yeah, and I went, I eat hot dogs from gas stations. Like, that's... That's who I am, that's what I do. I eat hot dogs. I'm so upset, Corey's not here. Yeah, I get gas station hot dogs.

What else? I used to eat at Popeye's all the time. And I just, it was just bad. And I would, because, and I think, I would look back at myself and be like, I look, I look fine. I'm tall. I carry weight well, and then you look at pictures, like, no, you don't carry weight well at all. Like, this is really bad. I bet you do, though, and I bet that's how that kind of thing happens. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. You can, like, hide it. And it goes slow. You know, it's like, oh, 50 pounds later, I'm starting to see it kind of thing. Yeah. And then I think, and actually the first year I was like really on the road, I was actually did pretty well as far as, because that was when I had the commitment to go, oh, I'm going to work out. And so I would get to a hotel and I would. You know, if I didn't go, if I thought their, you know, facilities were sketchy, I would just do, like, those, you know, app exercises and do body weight stuff in the room.

And then I would really just, I was really on a role. And then this past year and some change, you know, I was on a road a lot and then went to New York. And so that has really made me fail. Well, hold on. Okay. I've never lived in New York, but when Corey moved there for, like, less than a year, he, he, actually lost weight during that time. And when I asked him what was up with that, he was like, well, in New York, you fucking walk everywhere all goddamn day.

He was like, so I'm walking miles every day. He's like, I can't help it. He was like, I'm still eating like a trash person that I am. He was like, but I'm like losing weight. So like. So, okay. But again, I've never had the experience. But you were doing, you moved to New York at a time in your life where you were doing a lot better than Corey was then.

If Corey moved to New York now, he'd get fat as hell. Yeah. So, because it's also like, it's a, that's, I think. Now, being there, the walking helps it not get out of control. But I think somewhere in the year leading up to it is when it happened. And then also being there's like, you know, you might have a spot at midnight. And then you're like, oh, there's pizza on the corner that I should have. And you probably took an Uber home rather than a four-hour fucking train ride.

Yeah, yeah. There are times when I go, you know what, I'm just, I'll just, I owe it to myself and I get killed tonight. Right. Right. You did owe that to yourself. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, I want to live.

So I will take it. Yeah. So it's... If you eat three pieces of pizza, you don't want to live. But if you eat two, then you deserve a car. So it's just a combination of... And I also just have to take personal accountability here. I don't want to work out.

I mean, it sucks. Well, I don't hate all of it. I go back and forth. It's horrible. I don't hate... Sometimes I get on a good run and then it's like my body starts looking forward to it. You know that whole working out the drug thing? It takes time for that to be true.

Yeah, yeah, because I would be, when I was still in Atlanta, the gym was across the street from where I lived. So, oh, I would get up like, it's 9 o'clock. It's time for me to eat my first breakfast. Then I go to the gym. Then it's time for my second breakfast. And then I would just be like, oh, I'm going to go work out. It was just, I was out of control. But it was good control.

Was it easier or harder when you started touring in? you know, staying at better hotels, make a little bit more money. It's like, oh, I got the money to afford these things, but also my life's better, so maybe I'm in a better mood so I can work out. No. See, when I was staying in better hotels,

you just get excited like, this pillow feels amazing. Yeah, I'm just staying bad. These sheets are, why would I get up and work out in this, when I could just lay here and they already have Netflix built into this TV. You know, this is.

The first nine months of our tour, so from May of 2016, until when I moved to California, the very beginning of January in 2017. So it's not even nine months. That's fucking, what is that? Well, how's math work? Seven months? Yeah, I'm terrible. I'm numbered on. Anyway, first of all, when we first started the tour, I was in the best shape I've been in since college.

Me and Corey had just done a weight loss competition. and I dusted his ass. You did? So I was like, I did, I did. Absolutely, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Dog walked in, man.

Wasn't even close. Does it still exist? Yeah, it's still, it's hard to find for whatever reason, but it's called Downton Flabby. And on WordPress, and they wrote a blog or whatever, and then one day Corey gave me the password, I'm going to talk about me for a second, and because he wanted me to put a picture up, and I was like, I can't get it to go through. And he's like, well, here, just log in and put it on it.

So I logged in. I'm like, oh, so I also was in the best shape of my life because I was living in New York as a poor person and walking everywhere and all that. And I'm just like, they would write this long blog about how their week had gone about like all the stuff they were doing and how much, you know, two pounds they had lost. And then I was in really good shape of the time. I would just post a picture of me at the bottom shirtless and be like, I ate burgers all week. Wow, that is, you guys are monsters. You have no idea. So you have no idea.

So, but anyway, that had just ended right when the tour, right when my videos went viral and the tour started. So at that time, at the start of the tour, I weighed like right around 190 pounds and I'm six foot tall. And so like, I wanted to get to, you know, 180 or under, but I still, that was the best I've done since college. Tour starts, and I say May 2016, it was like May 27. So like almost June 2016. So really, we're talking six months here. And by the time we moved to California six months later, I weighed 230 pounds. I gained 40 pounds in the first six months of the tour because that's how hard I was going in.

But he hiked well, too. So it's like I didn't notice being with him every day. But then if you showed me a picture, I'd be like, oh, yeah, you changed a lot. But I've been with you every week, so I didn't actually notice. And then he put a picture of me up and he's like, yeah, we want to talk about you too. We all got fat. Wow. Because I think because what happens is like,

Yeah, you're just running constantly. I mean, not as actual. Not actual running. But you know what I mean? But like you're going. You're going all the time. And then you, you know, you get up and you grab food. And then you, you know, before shows like, oh, do you want to eat before the show?

Do you want to eat after the show? We always pick after. And what that often means is we all, all three of us always pick after. We don't eat before the show. And what that means is we eat at midnight or later. And you ain't getting a fucking salad at midnight. It's nachos or a cheeseburger or pizza or tacos or something like that every single fucking time. Fish tacos is the best you can hope.

With some beers, by the way, normally. Oh, of course. That was the best thing. That was my biggest problem. And I think it was probably all of ours. We were excited. Right. It's acting like we were rock stars.

Yeah, of course. You know, like, you know, I've been to Portland once, but not like this. You know what I mean? Or I ain't been to Seattle. Like, what are we doing? And inevitably, it was getting hammered drunk. Yeah, I've been to Portland with snacks, you know. That's the difference.

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Do not wait. That's MDRNCBD.com code red. Now, back to the podcast. Scoot. I wanted to ask you about something that I know you have a story about because I have like a kind of sort of related story, I think. Okay. You used to do some kind of job where you like canceled.

Yes. Had to cancel credit cards for dead people or something like that? That is correct. I think I have a somewhat relevant story I could tell you, but please explain that for a minute, though. Oh, God. So I, yes, I used to. I just canceled credit cards for dead people. It's a real job that I had.

And. Like working for a credit card company or like a third party company that only does that? Yes, it was a third party company that would, there were, oh, wait, no, let me see. You know how it's certain banks behind? different credit cards like oh this is you know this bank and you know covers this is the bank associated with capital one or if you had a um what like a store branded credit cards like this is community bank you know that kind of stuff so it was one of it was one of those companies that had a bunch of credit cards but they might have also been a third i don't know but they so i got the job through a temp

agency and it was like my first like job in atlanta and when i was i was like my first like job in atlanta and And when I went to the temp agency, because I remember somebody referred me to the, oh, you should go as a really good temp agency. And I remember when I walked in the door and they said, do you have your driver's license and social security on you? And I was like, yeah. And I said, I also have a resume. And I went, no, you have a license. And Social Security car. That's really all we need.

And they're like, I cannot. And a pulse. Yeah. Those two things and a pulse. You're hired, man. Yes. And it was so quick because I remember going and I went, oh, but I have this. And they went, we can't believe you brought this.

This is amazing. Like, you actually have it with you. And I went just, I only have it because I brought my purse. Like, that's the only reason I'm responsible. I just keep it in my purse, you know, like a human. Like a human. So then they go, we have an assignment for you. And it's a call center.

We know you've done calls center work before. Then I go. and then they tell me, okay, what are you going to be doing? You're canceling credit cards for dead people. They said it will be sad. There will be people who will cry on the phone. Because sometimes people would call in because we had a script and all this. People would call in.

There were people who had died the same day because you would have to go, hello, thank you for calling. May I please have the date of death? And then you hear people like, hey, died this morning. And it's like, why are you canceling this Macy's card today? Yeah. I can kill him. Yeah.

Like what today? Like, this is really, you know, and then you have some people. Are they like, is it like maybe they're worried about another family member has a hold of it or something? Because I, you know, thinking about my own family. I can imagine a scenario where my mama is like, I got to get these canceled today. Yeah. Because such and such, you know, was in the room with them at the end. And I don't know where his wallet is.

Yeah. So there's, it might have been that. And then you had some people who have been using the, like, I remember one woman, And I said, okay, man, she's, I just need to get the card changed to my name. Because right now it's Mr. You know, whatever the name was. And I go, okay. And I said, well, may I have the, you know, your husband's day to death?

And he had died in like June of 1977. And I'm like, you've been using this card for 20. Because this was like around 2005, 2006. But she'd been using it off. She'd been using it ever. But paying it off. I guess. Because I thought the whole point of using a dead person's credit card is.

So you know, this is pretty much. Yeah. She's just, yeah, she's just been, because she was like, it says, no, that's what the car said. This is Mrs. whatever his name was. And she just been using it since the 70s. So she was an honest person. It was a weird situation.

Yeah, she's like, it was the 70s. They had let you do anything back then. Yeah, she's just like, I just wanted in my name. That's it. So I just want to close his and get mine open. And just now getting around to that. Just now. Yes.

And I'm trying not to laugh. I mean, I can relate to that shit. God damn. Like, geez. Yeah. So the, so in most costs in the situations, You get trained by somebody, and they will usually have you sit in the same cubicle with the person, and then they'll do a combination of, you know, first you just listen to them and you watch them take the calls.

Then they'll go, now you listen while I type. And then you'll type while I listen just to try to get you familiar with the system. So they put me with this girl, and they let her use, she didn't use a real name. They let her use a work nickname of Peaches. And I was like, this seems wrong. But, you know, but who am I to? My dad died now. I got to talk to Peaches.

Right. Yeah. Right. This is exactly what I wanted to do. Yeah. Hi, this is Peaches. How are you bereaved? Right.

Yes. And so you would. Bereaved Peaches. So I was sitting there with Peaches and she was like giving me the whole, you know, rundown. And then she was just like, oh my God. And you, you won't even believe this shit. But they got us, they got us dressing business casual.

And I went to a lot of places. You think are peaches. It is a business. It is a business. The business. She was wearing, I remember she had on a, you remember that, do you ever see the brand baby fat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she had on a baby fat shirt where it was like a low cut, V cut with a skirt.

And she's like, can you believe they got us dressing business cats? That you're not dressed me as casual. You're not. She was like, she was upset about having a dress like by having to wear that. She's like, this is some gussied up bullshit here. She was like, she was like a bottle girl. And she's like, can you believe they got us dress like it's in an office? in an office.

I don't think I want to talk to Peaches like when my dad passes, but I want to hang out with Peaches, if I'm honest. Let me tell you, Peaches was absolutely hilarious. And then, so the first day, this is the first day. So she's not, okay, well, you can listen. And then we're in the cube together. And then she just makes this face. And she's like, I got to go to the bathroom.

She leaves. She comes back. And this is maybe now towards the end of the day. And she's like, oh, you remember when I told you had to go to the bathroom early? And I was like, yeah, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. Was it like an hour ago? This was later, this was, if this was maybe right past, this was right after lunch.

And then this was maybe an hour, like maybe four when she's like, remember what I told you? And I went, yeah. And then she goes, girl, how about I nut it on myself? And. Yeah. Peaches and cream That's what I said That's what I started calling her

Yes I was like do I call the peas and cream now Because she And I just was so And I've been hot the whole time People watching on the internet And there's a part of me When you know

When you think like Is somebody just fucking with me Like what is she? Yeah right Because I think because I was all like Hi I'm Mia You know Yeah right

And then she's like Girl and so I just go Well What happened? You know like what caused it Was it good Was it? Are you okay?

And she goes, it won you? Like, you ain't doing it. Like, you ain't causing it. I'll tell everybody in this office, I nutted myself,

but God forbid you think you did it. And I went, I was like, you know, I'm in here. I'm like, I didn't know if my dress khakis had that kind of effect on bitches.

You know, I don't know. So maybe I'm out here enticing people. With Lovers. What did happen? So I was so stunned. Again,

this is the first day. This was her, this was her last. The first day. This is her last week. I was ready to leave that day. That was your first day? That was the first day.

Peach is nutted on herself on the first day. And I never told anybody until, like, me and one of my other coworkers, me and him got real cool. And I was like, hey, did I ever tell you about day one with peaches? And he was like, yo. Like, how would you keep me? He was like, you didn't tell nobody. I said, how do you report that?

Do you report that to HR? Do you just, who do you tell? Who do you like, hey, by the way, my train. or not at all itself? Like, how do you even, and my mom is in HR, so I had to call my mom. My mom was a really very conservative type. Like, I mean, it's conservative values.

Right, yeah, yeah, right. You know, kind of a black mama. Very professional. A black mama with N.H.R. Yes, right. She ain't wearing baby fat. No, so I had to call my mom. And I was like, hey, Barbara, um, listen,

how would you, I'm just going to have to tell you the story without, I said, I don't know when we don't say these kind of words to each other. But I'm just going to just say this outright. And my mom was like, oh, God. Wow, that is your first day, huh? I can say I've never had that kind of situation reported to me at all ever. And my mom was like, I don't even, she said, how do you, how do we move forward? I went, I don't, I'm asking you.

And my mom was like, yeah, maybe just go to work tomorrow, I guess. Because she said, I don't even know what to do with this. Did it feel? Well, no, because she said, you didn't cause it. Like she said that part. Because I can imagine a scenario where a guy says that trying to be like, oh, yeah, that's a couple of myself. I just noticed.

How's that make you feel? How about that? Yeah. Yeah, that's very different. Yeah, but she and the other, the guy that I, the guy real cool with, he told me, he said, well, I mean, she would talk about how, you know, she had it pierced, so maybe she just was, maybe some seat movement. Did it freak her out?

Is that part of why she lived for so long? Like, how did she feel about the fact? Did that just happen while she was talking to somebody whose mama just died? She just was really just chill about. She was just like, it was almost like, fun fact. Remember earlier today when I left? How about? How about?

It was just very much like that. Very much like that. And then the guy was telling me later, he said, oh, he's like, she never told you her wedding story? And I said, no, she didn't. She, apparently when she got married, he said she got married at an apartment. apartment complex, but she neglected to reserve it. So people would not get out of the pool during her wedding ceremony. And I thought that was the most ridiculous, hilarious thing.

He's just like, yeah, people just fucking swimming having a good ass time. Or she over there just exchanging her vows. So, yeah. I'm very ignorant about any of this. Is that at all normal to just catch a nut? No, no. You can see her hands when it happened, right? I think you're, the guy you were talking about who's brought up the piercing thing,

I think he might be on to something. Yeah. I feel like I've heard that before about that. Yeah. About that is that that's a thing that can happen if you have piercings like that. I saw a story today. I don't know, but I feel like I've heard that before. How do you feel about really gross stuff? How gross are we talking?

Hang on. I need to ask her something before you get into really, really gross shit. Okay. I'm sure it's not, but the same person. Your mama's name is Barbara Jackson? It is. And she's really conservative value, like businesswoman type? Yeah.

Where does she work at? Not the company, but I mean the city. What city did she work? She works in Columbus, Georgia. Is that where she's been at? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you know a Barbara Jackson?

I had my boss for a long time and my day job was about appropriately aged black woman named Barbara Jackson, who was, I loved her. She was awesome, but she was very, she was very conservative. A buttoned up black lady. Yeah, and Barbara Jackson who worked, and I worked in like an office setting. And I worked in contracts, but I thought I was like, did Barbara used to be in HR? I didn't know. It would be so hilarious if it was her. Yeah, well, you said Barbara, I thought of my barber Jackson.

And I was like, oh, shit. And I knew it probably wasn't, but I wanted to make sure. All barbers do HR. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Anyway, I didn't want to ask her about her mama after you went into some really nasty shit. Yeah, please. I'm not sure I want to do it.

I read it today, and it's so related to what you just said. hear it. What is it? I saw this today. I don't know if it was a tweet or was on Reddit or what it was, but this dude was like, when I was in university, there was this story that went around my campus, and he said, and I just looked it up and found a video, and I think it might be real. And this was the story.

This girl had been using mayonnaise as lube. Ah! Got maggots. Ah! And they was causing her to,

nut in class. God, damn it. Like, she went to the doctor like, what is wrong with me? Why am I nutting? And the doctor's like, let's take a look.

But can we, let's talk about this first of all. Okay. Sure. The grossest part of that story is mayonnaise. If it was miracle whip, would it make you feel any better?

No, because it's all gross. White egg based cream condiments are awful. I love mayonnaise. I'll die on that hill. Of a heart attack. Yeah, and it's disgusting. Oh, it's great. Makes everything moist and sweet.

Hold on. I'm a little confused. You mean it's disgusting, obviously, like, as a lubricant, or do you mean period across the board? Manage is the, let me tell you. One day, I almost, okay, I almost threw up because my sister knows how much I hate mayo. Right. And she saw a video of like, like, there's mayo ice cream. And even talking about it now, I'm starting to get ill. Yeah, we saw that.

That is gross. My sister's in, she's like, look, sister, ha. And I was like, I will punch you the next time of food. I'm sorry. I don't want to sit here and listen to a gas station hot dog eater, talk shit about mayonnaise. What do you think the secret ingredient is those two real milkshakes? For real.

For real. For real. For real. For real. For real. For real. Friel milkshakes. Okay.

But you're mayonnaise gross. Like on a chicken salad. And he said it was, okay. Now, I will, okay. I will eat it in. cold things. You're just not on a burger or something. Yes.

If I see it on, and I blame this on HR Barber. This is her fault because when I was a child, she would get, you know, like, HR people, did she get tickets to stuff? She'd get like discount. I thought you're about to just say mayonnaise. Like, you know, HR people that have mayonnaise. Manage is a huge thing in the HR.

You get a lot of money. Yes. Well, she used to get, as a child, I never ate. I rarely ate at McDonald's because my mom used to get stacks and stacks of free Whopper coupons. And she would go, we're going to Burger. You can take your ass to Burger King. We get fast food.

We're not going to McDonald's. So she had these, ugh. And so as a kid, I would eat so much, so many whoppers. And they'd just be fucking slathered. Yeah, they do slather it. You got to wipe it all. And then so one day, one day I just remember just being, and I was like, I can't look at this or eat it anymore. now just stopped eating it.

If you add ketchup to it, it's a nice mix. It is not. It is the worst thing on earth. Do you do characters ever? No, I don't. Okay, because I would love to see you do H.R. Barbara as like a series just looking at your phone. Hello, this is H.R. Barbara. I should do H.

Because my mom is so, like, I think my mom is very funny. And she, but she's, it's just in a buttoned up very, like, okay. On purpose? Like, she, sometimes, yes. But one of my, I've been making fun of her a lot lately because she says, she calls things top of the line. Like that's one of her favorite phrases. And she got mad because I went and got tires for my car last year. And I said, oh, I just got some used tires, you know, just for now.

She went, ugh. Like, you got used. That's just, you didn't want top of the line tires for your car? And I said, it's fine. I'm like, you guys are the one who told me about getting used tires. Then she got this mug that she won at her job for something she did. And she got in the car at my uncle. And she put the mug in the car.

And my uncle was like, hey, don't put your mug in my new car. You're going to make this mug is going to make my, it's going to sweat and mess up my car. And my mom said, my mug is top of the line. She said, my mug does not sweat. And I said, you can't just go around saying mugs don't sweat. Like, that's not true. Mug sweat. And so she's always calling us.

And she says it so much that one time I actually said it in a show and one of her coworkers was there and they were dying laughing. And she was like, are you making fun of me for saying things are top of the line? And I said, I am, Barbara. And she just, she gets very, what is it? She one day in my neighborhood where my parents live, like coyotes were on the loose and then some wild hogs or boars or something. Where do your parents live, the swamp? No, they live like a residential neighborhood. I mean, wild boars is a whole thing now.

They're everywhere. They're running. They're everywhere. 30 and 50 at a time. And coyotes, though? Yeah, they were coyotes. I feel that one of them should cancel the other out. And I think that's what the boar or the hall.

Yeah, and my mom was walking in the park where they were. And then we were like, hey, maybe you should just walk somewhere else until they get this under control. And my mom just, she's like, let me tell you, if I see a boar. if I see a coyote, I will outrun him. She got them top of the line running. That's what I said? I'm like, your shoes. And I was like, what is it?

Because I said he's a wild boar. He's not a top of the line hog. Like, is that the problem? You know, but I'm like, also, you're 63. You're not going to outrun this damn hog. Like, stop it. But yeah, so she's very indignant about things. And it makes me laugh.

How fast do you think she thinks coyotes are? You know what? I don't know this, but I do know that my dad, when my sister told my dad, she's like, please get, please get mama, tell Mama not to be walking in the park. And my dad said, she must not know that, you know, hogs, they run like 70, 80 miles an hour. And I said, that's not true. It's not true at all.

It's just on opposite end to every argument. That is not true at all. 70, 80 miles an hour. And my sister's like, you know that's not true. And he goes, yeah, it is. Who told you that? Nobody told you that. That reminds me of so many things where.

my dad or my mom, I think, is talking sense against the other one. And then it's like right at the end. It's just this big turn, you know? Yeah, just, yeah. Like my mom was asking me about all that bullshit on the internet about Barack Obama being a Muslim. Like, you know, they send them around or whatever. And I'm like, mom, that's not, what are you? That's ridiculous.

Like, that's, it's racist. Like someone started that rumor. She said, oh, I was just asking, you see all these people sharing it. And my dad was like, Lord, Nancy, that ain't what that is. That's insane. Just because somebody sent you an email. They could say anything. And then he goes,

You know the government wrote those. And I was like, what? Oh, my God. Come on, man. At the end. Like, how are you so logical? Mm-hmm. And, yeah, yeah.

No, yeah, my folks, they are, yeah, they, sometimes I just never, I don't know how they, I'm like, how do you know each other? I just, I need to know this. You're on Instagram, right? I am on Instagram. I wonder sometimes just from, like, my experience, which I ain't like that wild, but like, not just Instagram, but like, with messages that you get sometimes, right? And, like, I think about female comedians sometimes. And it has to just be an absolute horror show, I would imagine.

Is, like, so that is the case. I've been proposed to. Yeah. Somebody seen me. I've gotten that. Marriage proposed. Mostly dudes for me. But have you gotten a multiple choice quiz and been proposed to?

That's what I got. Go on? That's like middle school stuff. Like a check yes or no type of thing. It was A, I like you or I don't like you. B, I love you, but I like you. C, what if I don't like you, but I love you? D, what if I wanted to marry you?

E, what if I didn't want to marry you? And it skipped a couple of letters and then just hit right back up later on in the alphabet. Yeah. And followed with an attached picture. That was a test in many ways. Yeah. And a lot of older white men with glasses seem to find me on the Internet. Do they have beards?

No, no beards. Old white men with glasses with beards find me, the gay ones. Really? Oh. But my proposals are never married. It's way dirtier. Oh, is there like a whole thing with old bearded, bespectacled white man? Is that?

It's just what the avatar's been lately. Okay. But that's not like people don't see an old guy with a beard and glasses and think. No. I'm not old yet, but I will be that guy one day. I want to know what I'm getting into. I don't want to walk in like, oh, God, it's another one of those. No, no, no, no.

Is you feel like they, you're fine. Do you have a type? Not you don't have a type. Is it a type of stalker? Is that why you said that? No, I'm just like, at one point I had an influx of old white dudes with glasses from various parts of the country that would just message me. Are they nasty? No, usually it's just a lot of stuff like, hey, I saw your pictures, you're very beautiful.

And if you are ever in whatever random state I live in, please let me take you out. Do they say just the state? Yeah, sometimes it'll be just, yeah. Because sometimes it's the city and it's like, it's got a thousand people in it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what, I can honestly tell you if I'm ever there, I will hit you up because I'll never be in Jonesville, Idaho. I'm never coming.

And then it's that. I've also, what else? What else do I get? There's one, I don't know who this person is, but they have an Instagram account that is obviously dedicated to big-titted women. Hold on, hold on. You mean like they run it and post exclusively. Photos of big-tid women? Yes.

That is all, that is. Or if they were just dedicating their, this goes out to all the big-titty women in the world. It's a little bit of both. You know, most Instagram's accounts are dedicated in that way to big-titted women. Yeah. But a whole, just a whole, it's a whole,

just big-titty photos. I'm super relieved that your answer was no when I asked you if it got nasty. Oh, yeah. No, no one's ever been. gross but like but big tity man will like you remember the handle it's at big titty man

is it like yeah you know what because that's the thing the name is yeah y'all y'all y'all heard of titty bear

this is titty man this is his dad he's grown this is big titty four chains but this this this person I don't because their name

has changed a couple of times on there but they will find pictures, like, especially from wearing something where if I have a belt and then that makes my boobs look way bigger, it'll be, hey, this picture's totally hot, so

can I repost, please? And it'll just be messages that I'll get sometimes, like, hey, I'm kind of surprised that he asked for permission in the first place. That's better. You're right. Oh, I'm not trying to defend it. I'm just surprised. No, he actually will ask, there was one person who, one friend

just shared a picture once, was like, guys, this is my friend. Me and me is amazing. and then some, I don't know, some account like big brown titties or something, picked it up. It's a spin-off. This was a whole other account. They were like, look at this big, bachshund. Can you spell that one just for, oh, so you're researching that?

That you'll fact check. You'll fact check that. Oh, yeah, it, yeah, it was, yeah. But apparently I had the message person. It was okay, can you kind of, can you take this off your titty account? You know, this could be. You can't be. be the character H.R. Barbara's role.

She's just going to, excuse me, sir. Excuse me, Mr. Big Titties. We didn't okay this one. Oh, she. Yeah, H.R. Barber would totally shut down. I think there's a law firm that, like, specializes and, you know, take your titty, take my titty's off your profile. Right, yeah. Tittalings.

Call me now. Yeah. True Morgan, Morgan and Morgan law firm. Are your titties up on the internet without your permission? Without your, and, including. And the account is clothed titties. Right. So it is cloned, but it's a lot of, you know.

Does Instagram allow the unclothed variety? They don't, they don't let them allow nipples. Okay, right. So he kind of is, he's restricted by the medium. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Let me ask you.

Instagram is keeping them from his greatness. Potential. Does he in the titty game? A whole picture or does he crop and zoom a little? Oh, this is your face in it. He was just going to take, yeah, because when I've looked at the account, It's just full. It's like women who've obviously been, yeah, you can use my picture.

Their faces too. Yeah. Look at the beautiful so-and-so in the picture. And it's just them like smiling and big titted. Smiling and big titty. Would it be different? Would you feel different personally? And then would it be different generally if it was the same situation?

Excuse me, can I use this? Can I repost this? You look very beautiful. And it was only that you noticed it was only the pictures with the belt and all that. But the name of the account was just, you know, beautiful black women or something. Or what if it was just beautiful belts? That's hilarious. I want to know now.

What if it's, God, that's such a, now, you're giving people ideas, mea, because they're going to hear that and they're going to be like, oh, shit. It takes, like, I'm dedicated to, to, accessories. Yeah, accessories. I want to show the world the best in women's belts. And this is a perfect belt, and he's just winking at all the other dudes. Like, hey, I like this belt.

Check this belt out. Big, beautiful belt line. God. Let me see. No, if I think, yeah,

because that would, that would appeal to my ego. Yeah. If somebody's like, this is everything called beautiful black ladies and I would love to put you on an account, I'll be like,

I am a beautiful black lady. So, yeah, but if somebody's like, titties, and I'm like, ah. When are we going to learn not to leave with the tities?

Never. Never. We're, We're unfortunately about to be out of time shortly, which I know it flew by as time always does with Mia. It's having a good ass time, guys. I know, me too. But I want to. It really did flab.

I know that's a cliche, but are you sure? Yeah, yeah. We started it. We started a little bit late, which meant it was right around 10.15. That's 11. You're right. Hour and one minute. All right.

But I want to, we talked about the special. So again, Comedy Central. Yes. November 1st, Comedy Central at 1130. Have they put out any clips yet? Yeah, there's a YouTube clip that shows a little bit of everybody from this season. And then there's also right now a whole streaming thing of all like the past half hours leading. It's going to lead up to the premiere this Friday.

Oh, I saw my friend Casey Salingos was up and I saw that. And I hadn't been able to watch it because of the paywall because I have cable or I don't have cable. Anyway, Corey. But it's on YouTube. They're streaming for out. I don't know if it'll be allowed. If it's allowed, we'll have Corey put that clip at the end of this episode. Yeah, because I've seen people already chop up their clips and they've been posting them on Instagram.

So I would assume I could do the same. Other than the special, like, what else do you want people to know about? Or is there anything that you wanted to talk about it we didn't get to? What? What do I want to? Well, you know, this is something I talked about yesterday very briefly. on another podcast, but I was talking about how this has nothing to do with anything,

but I was saying how I was very bothered by babies with unexpected teeth. Do you know what you're talking about? When they get their teeth too quick? Yeah, you know, they're scary, right? They still look like a baby and then they smile and you're like, what are you doing with this grown-ass man? What are you doing with full teeth?

Like, you are two months old. I'm with you. Yeah, I do not like unexpected teeth on babies. You know, when you see that little, you know, little cherub face and you're like, look, and then I saw a baby one time. You know what makes me feel like? It makes me feel the way I feel. I've never once thought about that.

And I like babies. I agree with you. I like babies. I like babies too, but it makes me feel the way I feel when twins who are too old still dress alike. Yeah. And I'm like, what do you do? This is wrong. You are an adult now.

Yeah. But yeah, but this was a baby. I saw the baby and your baby just kind of just did like this in church. And baby was like, and I saw it. You know, and I felt like it was in true blood when the fangs come out and I went, where did it? There's a full mouth. Vampire bags. Babies with unexpected teeth.

Yeah, it's very upset. But that's probably an Instagram account too. Probably I should make one. And I'll just hit up people with babies with unexpected teeth. Yeah, they'll love that. Can I post your baby on my account? I really appreciate how unexpected his teeth are. Do you mind if I post your baby?

My baby got stolen by a Chinese diaper company. He didn't get stolen. Oh, my God. I was about the same. Would have been a whole different tone. Why are we talking about this? His picture got... I just got another one, no big deal.

So we had briefly for a while, briefly, because it was stupid. I never was into it. We did a cloth diapering thing because Lou Byerman or whatever. But you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. So we did the cloth diapering thing briefly. And we had pictures of my oldest son when he was a baby in his clothes.

Both diapers and both my sons are gorgeous and beautiful, Maya, and they were at the time. Didn't I meet them? Yes, you've seen them, yeah. They are right. No.

I remember two little adorable little chills going around. All of their teeth are expected. At this point, right? Is how old are they now? Six and seven now. Oh, so, I'm prepared for their teeth. Well, anyway, are you prepared? Now they might be unexpectedly absent.

Right, you're right. This is the time when they start losing them. But in any way, He was a baby at the time, though, like, just starting to, like, kind of walk. Like, I don't know, nine or ten months or something. And my wife was in some cloth-dipering group on Facebook, and another one of the women in it was, like, trying to find the cheapest cloth diapers you could find on the Internet, which invariably led to China. That's where all the cheapest shit comes from. So she got on a Chinese cloth-dipering website, and on their front page was a picture of my baby.

in a cloth diaper. And this lady saw it and posted in that Facebook group and tagged my wife and was like Katie Crowder, isn't this year's son? And my wife was like, what the fuck?

And I posted it too. And I was, and Drew, like, freaked out. Because he was a lawyer at the time. And he was like,

dude, that's fucked up, man. What the fuck is that about? I was like, I don't know what that's about. But yeah, I'm a street,

they were just looking at like, just searching cloth diaper pictures or something. Gorgeous babies. And just took his pictures and put them on their Chinese cloth diaper and website. That is amazing. It's wild, ain't it?

And it ain't like there's a number you can call? They don't give a fuck about none of that type of shit over there. Even if you have like a genuine like copyright claim on like artistic material or IP or whatever, they'll just fucking use it and tell you to go fuck yourself. It quite literally stops at some of their borders depending on what it is. Yeah. Like if you're Taylor Swift, it probably doesn't. Right.

Like, it literally, legally stops at their borders, some of that stuff. Because we don't have that kind of relationship with them. We don't honor their lives. They don't honor our lives. Right. Well, this is a weird note to end on now. Okay. I should just tell people how to find you.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. Well, Chineseclothdiapering. com. No, no. I'm on. Miajaxon.com.

That's my website. And then I'm on Instagram and Twitter at Mia. Comedy. I'm also on Facebook. Just, you know, I got a regular-ass person. personal page, but my, I just had the courage to remove comedian Mia Jackson off of my fan page. And I just as Mia Jackson. Gas station hot dog eater.

Yeah, that's who I am. That's who I am. You think big titty manis gas station hot dogs? Yeah. Of course he does. I think he does with mayonnaise. And he's falling out while he's scouring in Instagram. Titty scouring.

Yes, he's a titty scouring. Titty scouring ass motherfucker. Yes. All right. It's always such a pleasure, Mia. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me on. All right.

Yeah. See you all next time. Skew. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night, and skue. With your choice of select sandwich, nugs, fries, and a drink,

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