wellRED podcast - #143 - Wild At Fart w/ DJ LEWIS!!

Episode Date: November 13, 2019

Our most requested guest of all time DJ DJ LEWIS is back on the WellRED podcast to talk about everything from trying to give up Facebook, The Dukes of Hazard, and Dick jokes! wellredcomedy.com for tickets to our shows! BlueChew.com promo code RED for your first month FREEHawthorne.co Promo code RED for 10% off your order! Leave us a review and tell your friends!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's the thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the. What is going on everybody? It is your boy, the show, Corey Ryan Forster. As you know, well red comedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. That is where you can find out where we're going to be on the remainder of our 2019 tour and we've only got a couple dates let me check out here next weekend November I think that's next weekend November 22nd the 23rd whatever that is we're going to be in

Denver at the Oriental theater and then last date of the year December 19th through the 22nd at the best comedy club in the country Zanies in Nashville doing our special homecoming Christmas shows so get tickets at well-readed comedy.com also sign up for our newsletter so you will be the first to know where we're going to be on our 2020 tour. We're starting to book dates for that right now. I can't give any of that away, but we are signing some contracts, contracts, signing some contracts, making some deals. We're going to get back out to you guys in 2020. In the interim, we have a bunch of cool things going on. Obviously, we're going to still be dropping the podcast every Wednesday. You can also check out the brand new podcast from well-read alum, Drew Morgan,

and good buddy DJ DJ Lewis. It's called Into the Abisket. You can find that wherever you find your podcast. It's on iTunes. I believe it's on Stitcher or Libson. That's Into the Abisket. Also, Trey just started a new series with Attention Media that's going to be on Facebook Watch.

It is called Southing Off with Trey Crowder. The first episode premiered. If you're listening to this on Wednesday, it was today. Yeah, it was today, Tuesday. So check that out. Also, another cool thing that our friends, John, Lori, Michael, and Tyler have done. This is really insane. Over on Facebook, it's a closed group, but it's called Well Red Nation, W-E-L-L-R-E-D Nation.

And they started this like a month ago, and it's already got like a thousand members. And it's basically, it's kind of a group for, you know, us like-minded folk, people that like the well-read podcast, people that like the well-read tour. You can go in there, blast off with some people from the South that think like you do. do and share memes and we also share our podcasts on there and we share dates and they're really great about keeping it updated and uh man it's really it's a humbling thing i looked over they told me they were starting it and i was like oh yeah nobody gives a fuck about that but you know good luck to you and then within a month they had a thousand members on there so that's super cool so go to well red nation it is a closed group because we're an exclusive bunch but you can uh you just

answer some questions uh like you know the questions might be like which uh member of the group uh is your favorite and obviously the answer is the Cho and then you'll they'll just put you right in. This week on the podcast is well-read podcast, fan favorite the number one fan favorite, the most requested motherfucker. Matter of fact, we've almost,

we might have had him on too many times this goddamn year. You're getting spoiled because when this guy's on the podcast we don't even have to do shit. You know him, you love him. Skinny Bumpkin aka DJ Lewis, aka DJ DJ Lewis, aka Boots, aka Okra, Ocrow, whatever,

whatever he is, all them things. So enjoy the... Oh shit, look at me. I'm not even going to throw it out to our sponsors. This portion of the podcast, as always, you know, brought to you by smokyboysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com and get all the rubs for all your meats. Also, carvevodka.com.

Go to carvevodka.com and check out what Jacksonville is all just fucking talking about, about the number one and only craft vodka distillery in Jacksonville. now doing whiskey, live oak whiskey, I just got my monthly batch in the mail. My buddy Paul Gray sent it to me, so I'm about to have me a drink because I'm still a little, I don't know about you guys, but hear me breathing. Don't hit. I'm not hitting. I don't know if y'all are still got the winter bug, but I'm not sick, but like I can't shake

the, it's the bullshit in my throat. So we'll hopefully have a couple hottie-totties and get all that taken care of. Before we're in Denver, like I said, go to well-readcom, sign up for the newsletter, or grab some of our merch. You can grab our book. What's our book called? Oh, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie. I'm sorry, I haven't slept.

I was up all night writing some stupid shit. I can't even talk right now. Our book is called The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. You can also get our album. It is well read. Live from Lexington. We've also got T-shirts and we got hats and we got all sorts of cool stuff. So check that out.

But now, without further ado, here is the podcast with DJ. J. Lewis live from the studio in Burbank. Ski. They're the six. They care way too much, but don't give a next that makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck. You want mine? I'm not going to use them.

Do you talk, check, check, check two one, two. Thank you. Check, check, check, DJ and Drew. You, you. It's good on the ones and two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for you. I like the cans. You don't like the can.

No, man, it makes my ears hot. Yeah, I can see that. I don't know. I don't even really know why, but I just want to justify ripping someone's head off. What now? That's a little biscuit. I was good. Yeah, all I was doing was, I was just going to say, I don't really know why I like wearing these.

I just do. But when the words came out, I don't really know why. Immediately in my white trash brain, I just finished that lyric. Hit for me, Supreme. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. I was not saying it, and it came out like a blessing. A little bit of, like a little sparrow.

Hey, look who it is, y'all. You, baby. DJ Lewis. Gutter bumpkin. DJ DJ Lewis. Yeah. We talked about already, writer. I know we have off mic at least, but also on here.

We told you about there's at least one fan of ours who this whole time thought that you were a DJ, whose name is Lewis or whatever. you know, like disc jockey, he is. To clear that. I mean, yeah, he, yeah, right. And I get that,

but. Uh, his name is DJ Lewis just everybody knows. He's Hollerville's number one morning, noon and night DJ. Yeah,

DJ, DJ Lewis. No, for, for some time, man, it's been a thing for where,

like, sometimes I'll get like, uh, like some dude out of Germany or something like that. And he's just like into the scene or whatever and thinks that I'm a DJ.

And like, I was, uh, I was telling Corey and Drew, I think about that. Remember me, you and Tushar ate at that Mexican place in L.A.

The time I came out of visiting you. Yes, I remember that. And you said the Tushar, like, you didn't even put it that way. You didn't even explain like, they think I'm a DJ. You just were like, yeah, I don't know, man. I've been, I meet a lot of Germans. Where I'm going out lately?

As soon as I tell my name, it's like, I don't know, they just fucking love me. Germany's love me. And as soon as you said that, Tuchart just fucking died, he was like, yeah, they're just like fucking, oh, DJ! You? Yeah, DJ. Speaking of Tushar, by the time... DJ Monk. By the time this episode comes out, Tushar will have been our last episode's guest, correct?

I mean, what Corey just said. We're absent the show again because he's en route to Iowa, because that's, you know, how his life works. And he is the Lord of the podcast. He just said that. He just said that. Oh, okay, all right. So I think by the time they've heard this, they will know who Tushar is. So you guys can imagine it.

Yeah, y'all are in for a tree. Tishar hasn't been on. I know it's weird, right? It is weird because he's been on, he's done plenty of shows with us. He's been with us on the road multiple times, but it's just never worked out that when he was there, we also were recording that week or something. Because, no, he's never been on it.

That's crazy. Y'all are in for, the listeners are in for a real, yeah, a real mighty fine time. A mighty fine time. So, I guess we'll talk about why DJ's in L.A. a little bit. If you don't know, then you don't follow us. God, damn it. My best friends didn't even know he was here.

I told him. I told him. I told him three times. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. Yes, I did. And I told you why he was here. I texted DJ and I was like, we fucking treat me like I'm your goddamn mama or something.

Like, well, I'm coming into town, but I know if Trey finds out I'm there, he's just going to want to cook me dinner. And it's not that I don't appreciate it. It's just, I got a lot of stuff going on. And they could just be easier for all of us if he just didn't even know that I was here. you know that's what was going on because he didn't tell me i didn't know i'm a little hurt by it absolutely the very up i figured that you i figured what usually i what i think is that like there's you would already know and there were already plans and i just no he just expects

everybody to make his plans for him i do yeah yeah well he honestly that that's not like me to just completely miss something like that but i believe that i might have DJ is out here to do more episodes of End of the Abisket and to shore up the first two or three episodes, our new podcast. If you don't follow us on social media, but you listen to this podcast, we dropped, Corey just dropped our pilot into the well-read feed. So you can hear our first episode on the well-red feed, but please subscribe to Into the Abisket. Anyway, that's what he's doing out here. We talked about that, admittedly briefly, when we generally discussed this, what we got, three weeks off. then three and another three weeks off tray we have some time coming up uh yeah off the road

that's what i mean but but uh i ended up i will once again be out of town me too but yeah i thought you were also leaving this weekend i leave friday he leaves thursday i leave saturday yeah uh but anyway yes generally speaking we have a lot of time off of the road come in the coming weeks are you guys looking for tour weekends this year Denver the weekend i think before thanksgiving or somewhere in the middle of november the weekend in the middle of November, the 22nd and 23rd at Denver, and then the weekend right before Christmas. Nashville?

Nashville. A very well-roomed Christmas at Zanis in Nashville going to be a big, good old time. Dude, I don't have space booty until the weekend after that. What? So, yeah, so me and Dreher definitely fucking coming. I'm stoked. This will be the first year. We're going to find something.

Wait a minute. What? Yeah, you're on the show. Well, DJ's like, fuck you. I don't want to work. I do want to work. Of course I do. but uh...

It's a well-read Christmas extravaganza variety show with... I'm so excited song, dance, comedy and apparently I've heard the gutter bumpkin

you, baby a merry old but hold on why did we're all over the place which is fine yeah yeah DJ's here baby

but why did you bring that up? Right I bring wood up that all this time we had Oh I was saying when I was telling you that that's we were discussing that in general when I told you DJ was coming out here. Oh, okay. That was among the things that I was planning on, that

I had going on during that downtime. We are trying to get through enough episodes to have an entire first season. I think how we're going to do into the abiscus is we're going to do it for like six months and take six months off and come back. Because it's a very, very produced situation and I think you guys are going to love it.

A lot of the feedback so far has been, this is rad, I have no idea what the fuck it is. Why am I crying? It's perfect. Yeah, there's been a lot of people crying. A lot of farting. Yeah, there's been a lot of farting. I'm surprised how many people have already gotten it because it's such a weird. I know you keep saying.

DJ keeps waffling back and forth between being like, this is the coolest thing ever and then being like, I don't even know what I don't, how's anybody going to understand this or whatever? I've never known him to give a fuck about that. Exactly. To be fair to DJ, I've had a hard time explaining the idea that I had to anybody. And he was the one person where I was like, he don't need to get it. He can still be on board. That's exactly right.

That's generally how I feel. Do you get it now? Yeah, I absolutely get it now. I figured I would. I figured it'd flesh out once I got, once I'm not much of a, of a reader or a learner. Let me tell you what him and Andy did. I'm going to get in it. Maybe reader, I don't know, but learner for sure I know is not true.

Well, yeah, I guess that's what I think. You just mostly focus on wild ass. That was you. You keep saying that, but ain't nobody been farting. Then smells are just coming out your feet. I don't doubt that a bit. Feet farting motherfucker. Dude, hey man, we went to a guy down.

Feet farting. Feet fart. That's DJ Lewis's number one hit. DJ DJ Lewis. Feet farting. Feet fart. What? All right, let me tell you what him and Andy did.

This is the perfect way to describe this podcast. We might have smoked legal substances in this state. And they were talking about it, and Andy had been listening to us, make a few episodes, and mix some of the episodes. Because we put, like, a lot of different segments in there. It's essentially a parody of a morning radio show. Right. We run the middle parts like a podcast. We were just having a conversation about dark things, because that's the theme, whether it be suicide, heartbreak, failure, whatever.

Those are some of the lighthearted topics we've covered so far. And then we have fake commercials and fake segments the way a radio show would. and DJ was like, man, it's like if Prairie Home Companion was like on drugs in the treadmill and he was like, yeah, yeah, like if Prairie Home Companion and I was like, I told both of y'all that four fucking times

and y'all just looked at me like I was an idiotic. But when you tell somebody that, they're like, all right, you know? You know what it is? They're both so used to me just being ridiculous and full of shit. They both just went, all right, without actually listening to me, just fair. Totally fair. Have you ever heard me describe one of my ideas?

No, I don't listen to you. It's a version of it. That's what I'm saying. Friends don't actually listen to each other because you get to the point where you're like, you're just, it's fine. I trust you, whatever. We ain't got to turn this into this. So I'll mostly make it about my wife because that's easier.

She's not here to defend herself. Not that she would anyway. She would totally agree with this. But yeah, dude, that happens to me all the time, both with you and Corey, but also with Katie all the time because she don't ever, she hears my mouth moving. And she immediately knows like, well, this ain't worse. shit. I don't need to listen to none of this.

This is going to be completely without value. Exactly. So she just tunes it all out. And then later, she'll say a thing and I'm like, Katie, I've fucking been telling you after three days. And she just, you know, whatever. But they were trying to convince me, too. That was what, I mean, we were high and it was so funny. But they were like, no,

Drew, you don't get it. I'm like, yes, I do. That part of it drives me up the fucking wall. Nothing drives me more insane than that when it gets flipped around you like that. It's like, I'm the one who said, you know, anyway, whatever. But do you have the habit of like, do you have the habit of like, because, okay, everyone here has a lot of ideas busting around in their brain, especially with your old lady, you're, like,

basing them off her all the time. So, like, and your friends, too, like, you're bouncing them off all the time. So, like, which one are they thinking that you're really going to, you know, flesh out and which one is just you talking about? With Katie, none of them. Yeah. She's absolutely like not. None of it. He'll never do that. To be fair, you know, part of it with Andy was, with Andy, all of them actually, Andy will humor the shit out of me because she's like a very open, creative person. She wants, I mean, her first question is, what's the part for me?

But after that, she's like, Jenny, listen, maybe because she knew that she would or thought she wouldn't have a role on this podcast, she actually does have quite a big role. She didn't listen. A few roles. But she usually listens to me about creative shit. Now, about paying the bills, nothing. Of course not. You and I should work on that because it reminds me of that I've heard people say a lot that a good skill to have is the ability to make like a studio executive or whoever.

Some industry type person make them think that your idea was actually their idea. Whoa. Do you know what I mean? Like kind of make them feel like they came up with it. That's like a thing? Yeah. Oh, dude. I hear people say that all the time.

I'm like, if you can somehow make, like, give them the impression that they made it. That this was their idea. Basically, like, they give you some note and then you have an awesome idea, totally sober from that. But then you like tie it. You know, it's like, you know, you had this note. And basically what you were saying what that is what we should do. Okay. And they're like, that is what I was saying.

Yeah. You're exactly right. That's brilliant. Yeah. But anyway, if you can do that, it's very likely to, you know, make you be able to get your shit through there because they're going to be like, oh, that's brilliant because I came up with it. Right. That makes total sense. Instead of flipping out about it.

being like, no, goddammit, it's my idea. You don't do shit here. Yeah. That should be my inclination. That makes total sense, and I realize this isn't what you're doing. This is a perfect example of one of those where it's like, so you're saying, if you're good at manipulating people, you'll be successful. In show business? Yes.

You don't say. And I'm not good at it, which is a problem. You're too endearing. I don't think that that's true, though. You're great at manipulating Corey. But, buddy. Come on. That's pee-wee-wee-

By the way, big part of his ability... You got some cookies? You can manipulate court. A big part of his ability to manipulate people is pretending that he's bad at it. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a long con. Yeah. He named me Longcon.

As part of my own Long Con. As part of his own Long Con. That's what he did. Oh, man. Well, anyway, listen to our podcast. Yeah. Hey. Oh, one more thing.

I think this is interesting, too. We can discuss this more broadly. One surprising to me form of feedback, but now that I'm, I'm thinking about it, it shouldn't be surprising. We've had a lot of people, he was talking about them saying they were crying. We've had a lot of people essentially be like, fuck, I loved it, but it got my anxiety up and I had to take a break and this and that. And for me, when I hear other people discuss their issues, it don't, it's not a trigger for

me because it's like, oh, I feel less alone, kind of. But there's a lot of people who don't operate that way. I'm one of those other types of people, honestly. I mean, like, I don't, I don't know. Sometimes I wish I wasn't that way. honest this actually kind of just happened last night because i was watching a there's a new season of bojack out right and i fucking love love that cartoon i'm only two episodes in but the second episode was really hard for me to watch because it was like princess i not without spoiling anything

princess caroline has like she has a baby now she's a single mom and she's also still this big uh hollywood hot shot agent so the kids with a nanny all day and whatever and then she like the whole episode is about how there's literally no way of in hell seemingly that Princess Carolyn is going to be able to like be a good mom and remain successful or whatever I'm not I'm not a mom but I have children and I'm whatever and I'm on the road a lot you're not single and I and I was a huge part that that's the main part of it and I kept thinking that while the time I was watching it's like I thank God that I have Katie and she's on board with all of this because if I didn't this would be almost impossible like people so

people said along before I ever like popped or whatever was like Like, if you didn't have the wife and kids, you'd be, you know, you'd be on your way. And I would always be like, yeah, I'm still going to do all that. But like, because it's general, the conventional wisdom is if you have kids, you can't really be a comedian for the most part. And the thing is, I am like living proof that that's not true, but also not really because that you have to have. If you don't have a partner who's fully on board with it, then I mean, no, you can't really do it. And so it's different. I'm lucky in that way or else I wouldn't be able to do it.

Anyway, I got through that episode, but it was very hard for me because, like, it was hitting so close to home throughout the whole thing. And it was just as good as every BoJack episode, but it was just making me. I didn't like it. I totally get that. I guess for me, the way I consume stuff like that, and maybe this is why I'm drawing the darker things. Put myself in your shoes because I don't have kids, I would have watched that episode and been like, oh, my. My takeaway here is this cartoon just made me more grateful for my wife or feel gratefulness for my wife in this moment.

And therefore, I liked it, which is ironic because I usually focus on the anxiety or the negative. That's sort of my personality. But the reason I think I'm drawing the dark versions of art is it gives me a moment to, I guess, feel less alone. Other people's dealing with dark shit. And then sometimes it's cathartic. Like, that episode would have been cathartic for me.

And I also, I didn't like the ultimate takeaway that the episode ended on. Like, I kind of fundamentally disagree with it. That's also a part of it for me. Yeah. But I'm not going to get into the details of that. Right. So going back to our deal, like, you know, I don't want people to feel terrible when they listen to it. I was hoping that it would make, I'm still hoping that it makes people, when we do those personal issues, it makes people feel, I mean, the second episode is about suicide.

It comes out tomorrow and it's a fucking doozy. But then the third episode is Corrie's, and it's a little more lighthearted. And then eventually we're going to do. less personal shit. Like, we're going to have Mark on and talk about military coups. Yeah.

We're going to talk about broad, dark shit. Had a very wonderful conversation with that gentleman the other night. DJ and Mark hit for each other. Big surprise. No way. You never would have thought that. So we are,

so if you are listening and it is kind of making you feel that way, don't worry, we're going to get into stuff that's not about you, I hope. Military coups, pedophile rings, you know, shit like that.

But yeah, I guess it's not that I didn't expect that. It's just, I don't know, man. I process things differently. And I think it's 50-50. We've heard feedback from other people who are very into the dark shit because it's cathartic for them.

Well, I feel like the people, yeah, it's just going to be like you're going to have the people who, you know, are the first type who just can't, can appreciate that it's good, but just can't handle it. And they're probably not going to fuck with y'all. But the people that are the other way, I mean, are going to like really, really, really dig it a lot. So that's how that type of shit usually goes, you know. I mean, hell, God, that's, like, weird that way, just in general.

Well, especially with the humor. I mean, that's something that I want everyone who hasn't given it a shot yet to understand. It's really fucking funny just in spurts. You know, like, it's like a fucking gnarly 12, 15-minute conversation and then the most ridiculous shit. Dumb. So dumb. But so, God, I think we've really, people are going to enjoy it, I think. People already are.

And especially the more that, like, there's an outstanding joke there beyond anything, which is just, you know, just the whole Hollerville, the... Yeah, yeah, the world that we'll get it. I don't want to. Yeah, I don't want to. Well, moving beyond that, I've talked to you, Trey, about a bit I wanted to write. This is like the broader version of what we were just discussing. You know, people are talking about, they're being like super open about depression and stuff like that. Yeah. On Twitter, on Instagram.

and one night I was just kind of drunk or whatever and I'm scrolling and I saw a bunch of jokes about it and I was like, is this helping? I realize we got to get rid of the stigma. Like we talk about it openly on Facebook. We talk about it openly on Twitter because we got to get rid of the stigma. Right.

Which is pretty much my main thing with it. And we do need to do that. Which is why I fall on the positive side of it for the most part is just because it needs to be fucking talked about it. I agree. I just started a whole fucking podcast with that belief. Right. But there was a part of me in that moment that was like, I'm scrolling at night and I feel sad and alone.

You post it. You're sad and alone. I don't feel less sad and alone. Now I just feel shitty and know that you also feel shitty. I feel like, I hear that. But I feel like if you're, because I feel like it's almost, all that is almost a natural response to how social media was, like for a long time when it first came out the gate, meaning if you're at home at night, sad and alone and you're looking at social media, first of all, bad move in the first place. but if you're looking at social media and you're seeing all these posts from people you know, and it's all them on a fucking beach or at a fancy restaurant or on vacation or whatever,

which is like their highlight reel, basically, which is what social media is for a lot of people. Basically, yeah, yeah. You look at that, I feel like that's going to make you feel, that's not going to uplift you. It's going to make you feel worse about your situation, probably. But if in doing that, you come across some other people, it probably depends on how you feel about those people,

those crazy? If it's like your fridge, like, God, am I that guy now? I don't want to be like that guy. But if it's not that, you see some other people you know posting about how like, you know, they're knee-deep in a pint of ice cream at 2 a.m. or whatever. I think that it probably will make you feel better as compared to the, you know.

I guess I just kind of miss fake Facebook where everyone pretends like they're crushing. Sometimes I miss that because I'm like, if you're my friend and you show me the best. best version of your day. I'm like, hell yeah, man. DJ's killing it. And then if you're not my friend, now I can hate you and I want that in my life. You know what I mean? Like this piece of shit. Look, it's just so easy for some of these people. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That person that I don't like gets on there and is like, I'm sad. I'm eating ice cream. I'm like, now I got to feel sorry for this person and empathize with them and have a connection.

Right, but I feel like it's not just people like that who are doing that sort of thing anymore. Do you know what I mean? Like people that seem to otherwise hit are joking and talking openly about like fucking depression and all that type of shit and if you see people like that talking about it I think that that probably does generally speaking help

did y'all see that I think you're right yeah I got real real high and had to leave that room yeah I was me and you and Corey were to go and I got way higher

and I meant to and like I got halfway through it and I was like I can't no I can't I gotta tap out on this I was taking love this very off guard by that really

yeah well dude like I mean it's dark we're getting a little I feel like a lot of our fans may not necessarily know at all what we're talking about. Gary Goldman's awesome stand-up comedian who is mostly, to this point, been known for, you know, like, goofy observational type of humor. And he's awesome. He did a whole five minutes on grapefruits on Conan one time. Right, that type of shit.

And he rules at it. He's phenomenal. But he just put a special out, and I didn't know this going into it. Maybe you and Corey did. I didn't fucking know going into it. that this whole special was about like the void basically. Fucking depression and all this shit and just darkness. And I just, I wasn't ready for it and I was too high for it.

Yeah. And I had to bounce. Yeah. I loved it. I think it was super interesting. It was borderline a one-man show, but he's so great. And one-liners, it wasn't a one-man show. And then where he spliced it up with moments for his life. Some of that stuff made me really uncomfortable, but I was glad he did it.

Like, I was really uncomfortable watching him and his fiancé partner or whatever talk to the therapist. And then her and the therapist are talking as if he's not in the room. And then, like, I'm just watching all that. That shit made me super uncomfortable. I would never do that. But I was kind of glad he did. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it. But I also think it was really great. Just what we're talking about, like, being able to dissect. It feels empathy. Yeah. It creates empathy. You know what I mean? And like I think a lot of that is,

I think that's one of the good parts about put it, being able to share it on social media like that and be like, because like even if you're not in it, now you can maybe understand, especially with like humor and be able to laugh at it. That's great.

But Facebook is wonderful for me, just for the red. That's where I soak up all the red. Yeah. Like that's, that's where you don't get that, you don't get that good Twitter where like, you don't get that on Twitter where you get it.

picture of like somebody's mama holding a snake outside and there's like a fucking kit because i don't know about you but i feel like for most people and i know it's true for me facebook was kind of the first big one after my space and for almost everybody facebook at least at the beginning what these are like these are people you actually know so people like you grew up with are people from where you're from and all that yeah they're not necessarily actual friends right right right right they're like your snapshot of your world as a person yeah and then however your Facebook grows and that change is one thing. But like Twitter, though, I think is different. People get on Twitter and they follow like things that interest them. So either, you know, the beat

reporter for their favorite sports team or their favorite director or actor, comedian, or musician, whatever, that type of thing. It's not so much about people you actually know for most people. So you're not going to see all that wild neighborhood mammoth snake shit you're talking about on Twitter. I think, uh, and that's what I'm there for. One of the most like, not thought out, insignificant decisions I've made in my life ended up really fucking with exactly what y'all are talking about. When I was a lawyer, I made a separate Facebook page for my comedy. Because I was like weird about it and I was just starting out and I had this professional life and blah, blah, blah. Eventually I got rid of the old Facebook and just you started using the new comedian one and made that with my regular one.

I was like, fuck it. I can just be who I am. that had the, I didn't think about this effect of kind of getting rid of a lot of those people. Yeah. And then some of them came back into my life, refriended me, I refriended them. But a lot of them didn't because at that point they had become who they had become and I become who I become. And they were very different people. They weren't interested in my fucking whatever socialist bullshit.

And at the time, when I was first doing it, and I was like, I don't give a shit about their mammoth snakes. And now I miss their mammoth snakes. Well, also, this might be, this might be high. But I think there's a case to be made that if I hadn't had those people on my Facebook at the time, we wouldn't be sitting here right now. Because I've told the story a million times, that viral video I saw of the what? Feet fart. Are you laughing at me? It's feet fart.

It's feet fart. It's me, though. That viral video from that preacher in North Carolina talking about transgender bathrooms, but just being a asshole fire and brimstone preacher about it. just standing by his truck. Yeah. That made me like that was like a light bulb thing. I would not have seen that because I saw it because it was getting shared by the types of people we're talking about. People I went to high school with who I now don't have shit in common with politically or anything.

They were the one sharing that because they were like, hell yeah, this guy's telling it like it is. And I probably never would even saw that if I, you know. You weren't in the bubble. Right, exactly. That's why it's good enough in the bubble. And you can have a podcast. The deeper you go into the bubble. The bubble, the more beautiful, for me, at least, like, I like to go to, like, Facebook marketplace, like, from my hometown and stuff, like, in Walker County, see what I was selling.

It's fucking awesome. Yeah. Motherfler out here with, like, a fucking can of blue paint for, like, it's like a wish. It's like a, it's like a, it's like the wish app for the holler. You don't ever know what it's going to be popping up. It's like, mother's trying to sell a can of blue paint and then I'm. I tell you, well, I don't do it, but I know Katie does, and it's, I can't think of a single example right now, unfortunately, but like, that, that, that, that, but for, like, out here is. is also pretty fucking funny.

I bet it is. I bet it is. You have no idea how many times Andy's just showed me a picture of a weird chair. Don't we need this? No, we don't need that. Andy wouldn't let me write fart on the furniture. No. I'm sorry.

Believe it or not. They got high and they were decorating out in our yard. They put up a pinata with a bunch of lights and a bunch of other shit. Andy has his pot holder and it's got, you know, it's got four legs. And the legs come up and you put the, pot down in it. It's like a flower pot holder. I said pot holder like it's in the kitchen. And DJ wanted to write fart on each of the legs and was like furious.

Yeah, right. I had to come outside to see what they were talking about. Because I was in there working on the stuff we had to do yesterday. I mean, I could just hear him telling her for an hour how good the Duke's of Hazard was. Like, for an hour, he would be like, and you know, man, and Mark's what got him on it. Yeah. Mark taught DJ something he didn't know about Duke's a Hazard. the Corey and Vance season.

Right. Because it's not on any box sets anymore. Yeah. Why would it be? If anybody don't know. Corey and Vance? Yeah. I mean, I don't, like, yes, I know that that happened and was a thing and was terrible.

All right. So for anybody who don't know, the actors who played Bo and Luke, Tom Wopat and the other guy. Should have, but I don't. He's more successful than Tom Wopat. I just always just knew him as Bow and Luke. Well, like, I would, you know, I only ever watched it as a kid. They were just Bo and Luke. I hadn't got him to like.

They essentially went on strike. They were like, you got to pay us more. And the studio was like, we can replace you. And they called their bluff, so they had a Corey in Vance season. Right. Everyone hated it. Yeah. So they got paid.

DJ started telling Andy about that, as if she weren't there when Mark was telling us about it. No, I was talking about it. I was just expressing my... And then, Trey, I'm not kidding. At least 45 minutes. Like, I would be typing, and then I would kind of pop back in, and I'd hear him being like, and you know, if you think about it, you remember at time when boss hog stole from the, uh, from the, uh, nursing home.

Nursing home, dude. That's a commentary, Andy. Yeah, yeah. And Andy's just happy that somebody's, you know, paying attention to her. So she's just like, yeah, cool. As she decorates. And then, though, after 45 or so minutes, I hear them arguing because he is insistent that he write fart on this furniture.

Uh-huh. It would have been great. Didn't win that one, huh? Did not at all. She didn't see your artistic vision, man. Now you know how I felt. You're going to come back in a year. I didn't watch Duke's Hazard in a minute?

No, not. I mean, I, you know, I used to watch it all the goddamn time at Mama Kat's house as a kid. Do you remember when I got that leprechaun? I haven't watched it, I mean, dude, in years, man. Like, as an adult at all. I've been probably the last time I saw an episode, actually watched an episode of Duke's Hazard, maybe high school, probably. And then I watched that fucking reboot movie that came out when I was in college. The premiere of that was in Knoxville.

Justin was there. Didn't really hit for me. No, the movie didn't either, but I like Johnny Knoxville, though. Well, sure, sure. Well, didn't Jay Kandahar, who wrote Super Troopers, write that? I can't remember. I'm pretty sure. I know he directed it, and I think he wrote it.

Anyway. If I'm honest, I like him, but they order to let a Southerner do that. Yeah. Kandahard didn't grow up with a Dukes of Hazard. Right. All right, guys, let's talk about sex. Good sex. Remember the days when you were always ready to go?

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I absolutely love it. I can't say enough good things about Hawthorne. Oh, what is, what is this? I have a, I have a voicemail from our very own Drew Morgan. Let's see what Drew has to say right now. Hey, Corey, this is Drew. I just wanted to call you and tell you that I got my package from Hawthorne. And buddy, I am excited. I didn't know I could feel so excited from getting a box of goodies, but I just feel like a princess where we got. We got this deodorant. I've already used it. I try to get Andy to use it because she stinks, but she didn't want to. She says it's for men, and she's right.

It is. I got my conditioner and my hair. It's feeling silky. I got my lotion. We're not going to talk about what I did with it because this is a family podcast. Anyway, I just wanted to know if you enjoyed yours. Did they send you shampoo? I would have been rude.

Well, I don't really know why you had to go there, Drew. That was a little mean. But anyways, I do love Hawthorne, and they did send me shampoo. and it does work on the parts of my hair that God left. Oh, look here. I'm getting a voicemail from Trey Crowder. Let's see what he has to say about the situation. With your choice of select sandwich, nugs, fries, and a drink,

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That is, H-A-W-T-O-R-N-E dot C-O, and use our code red to get 10% off your purchase. Hawthorne. dot co get yourself smelling good don't be a stinky little bitch like drew hawthorn baby skid it it's customized it hits it's in a pretty package skew dj yeah buddy hell both y'all really but i don't think i don't know we've ever talked about this and i think that's kind of odd what tell me about halloween well what you want to know about it exactly about how we how we rock and roll on a hallowe What does Halloween mean to you, DJ? Man, I'm going to tell you, man, and this is probably just from being in prison and stuff.

Like, I don't have any, I do not have any connection to holidays. Any of them at all? Like, what now I do because of Christmas, because I got my nephews are close to me and my niece's nephew. When you're in prison, is any given holiday just another day, like every other day? They don't acknowledge it at all. like you don't get a shittier meal that's like you get more of a shittier than meal and then when i was in when i was in a when i was in a um when i was in a jimmy altry down in a pelham georgia uh got down i used to write plays for the mental health people out there warden windy thompson would let me go

and because those people had it you know it's really depressing really sad and uh you know they didn't have any family like you could send like a uh christmas package in so like you're folks can send like a certain amount of extra cookies shampoo and shit like that but you never saw it in a mental health arm so I would go in there and we would write plays and have

like a little production for the warden and them and they would give them a pizza party but that was later on in my career time time career my career you know as a playwright

a convict playwrights but it was like a little talent show thing like that So that was special, but it wasn't like family. It wasn't like anything like that. So before I say what I'm about to say, it's not because of some Ebenezer screwed shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just that.

No, that makes sense. So with Halloween, man, you know, kids are cool. They like candy. People, human beings like to dress up. Dressing up is cool. We do that a lot of the house all the time. Being crafty and creative is wonderful. Having a good time is

knocked that out of the park. But if it weren't like what it is, I don't know that I would miss it. I just can't, I mean, because, you know what I mean? You can go to DJ's house in July and him and Dre will be making a mask that they're going to wear

ritualistically. Yes, that's true. So I guess it does kind of make it make sense, but for that same reason is why I thought that you might be like, I could, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have been surprised if you were, like, super fucking into it. Or if you were like, oh, it's all commercialized bullshit, man.

The true spirit of Halloween, buddy. Let me tell you. Sam Haynes is what we're talking about, yeah. Like the joke. Either one of those wouldn't have surprised me. The St. Patrick's Day joke, you know, drunks hate St. Patrick's Day because that's when the amateurs pretend to be drunks. Like, you got that attitude about Halloween.

Like, oh, you're going to cause mayhem in a mask? No, I mean, I feel like, I feel like about holidays and stuff like that. I do no holiday do I have a personal, uh, uh, connection to to where like whatever kind of, whatever kind of opinion I have on it is, is really anything other than like, yeah, man, if you're enjoying it, fine, fine, right. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I had, uh, you know, I was a fat kid, so Halloween hit, because for candy reasons. But as soon as I stopped trick-or-treating though, from that moment, up until I had my own children, I could not have given a fuck less about Halloween. Matter of fact, I was mostly annoyed by it. I mean, like,

I always thought it was mostly stupid, frankly. Like, I've never liked horror movies or any of that shit either, though. Like, spooky stuff. Whoa, wait. I know. That's why I'm saying, I thought we might be different on this as far as,

but, like, I've just never been into that whole, like, aesthetic, and I just always, I never really gave much of a fuck about it. I liked, you know, when I was in my early 20s, I liked the slutty out. outfits and all that. Of course I did. But you like horror stories. Yeah, I love Stephen. Yeah, I love Stephen King. I like to read them. I feel like my, okay, hold on. That's a time time. But we will get it, but we will get into it. But anyway, then I had kids and them with their little precious costumes and trick-or-treating. And also we live in a neighborhood where we get at least some trick-or-truthers. Katie loves Halloween. She decorates our house. All these little precious little kids come up dressed as fucking, you know, sprites and goblins and stuff. And so now, I, you know, I very much enjoy it.

Like, it's not like one of my favorites, but I, you know, I have fun on Halloween. Kids make things hit. Kids do make things hit. Do Christmas. Now, I've always liked Christmas, but do Christmas with kids. Oh, my God. I can't wait. Unbelievable.

I cannot wait. But anyway. Well, me and Andy were, Andy and I went to West Hollywood the other night for their Halloween carnival. And it was a street party. And we dressed up like Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton. And we have fun. Annie loves to dress up.

She loves Halloween. It's her second favorite holiday. I think, maybe or third. And he loves holidays. And he just loves a lot of things. And dressing up is one of them. I dig it.

But something that happened. Somebody there had like a Jason mask on and they were like walking around and they would just like walk up to you and stare and not move or say anything. But that's some Halloween shit. Exactly. But I've never gotten that. I've never particularly cared for it. I've always thought, especially when adults do that, I've always thought that is so stupid

and immature. Like what joy are you getting by like doing that to me? This is what I said to Andy when we were talking about it that night when it happened. But I love immature shit too. Just a different type of immature shit. Like a good dick joke just gets me down to my core. And I know it's immature. And if someone goes, you're immature laugh at that.

I have to acknowledge you are objectively correct. Yeah. So it's not like fuck them and their immaturity. It's just something that to me is one of the most immature things. Like jumping out at somebody and all that. Like it's fun to laugh at a person if you scare them. But just generally speaking, I just don't do. that shit but Halloween now has become so much more than that I love to dress up like as an example

Willie Nelson and get fucked up yeah right yeah and that was always like I always like the getting fucked up part of yeah ain't done wrong with that but every year yeah every year pretty much all those years in between where I didn't really care about it I would go to fucking goodwill and build some kind of bullshit costume day of I love doing that though much every year like but I was it because I just didn't give a fuck. But it was like, I got a Halloween party night. I need fucking something. So I'd go and throw some bullshit together.

Like, I never was like all that into it. Katie used to fucking win costume contests and stuff. Like when we first started a day. She's always loved it. But like, Andy gets furious if we don't, if we go to one and there's a contest and we don't play. She gets furious. But like, I made this whole video about how, like, Katie's into it and I'm not,

so it's fine. But like, I'm often like her like sidekick or accessory or something to her costume. But again, like I said, I never really cared that much about it, so it's fine,

but it is kind of funny. But that, the, the dudes with the, the dudes being spooky, like, even as somebody never really gave much

a fuck about Halloween, I've always, anytime I've ever seen something like that, I've always just thought like, yeah, well, you know, you'll have that.

Yeah. Like, for a lot of people, for a lot of people, that's what fucking Halloween is. I'm not mad at it. But why aren't you at a haunted house? Like,

well, they probably also were at a haunted house. Well, the other thing I think about that is I'm like, no, that's for kids, though. But I realize how stupid that is. Haunted houses? And people scaring people.

Hot a house is, yeah. No, no, hear me. I'm wrong. Like, I'm saying that I'm wrong, but my initial thought when a grown person does that to me at the street carnival festival, another grown person, I'm like, why are you acting 13? And then I'm like, Drew, look in a mirror. You're dressed like a fucking country music icon and smoking weed.

You're 35, and you had to find a wig today. Like, let them have their fun. It's just a different kind. You know, yeah. I mean, obviously, it depends on how fucking far they take that shit. Take it, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying if you want to do the spooky version of Halloween,

I'm totally on board with that. But yeah, if you're like straight up fucking harassing people that don't know nothing to do with you. If you touch me, Willie Nelson will whip your ass. Yeah, then fuck that. But, uh... Yo, I think this microphone stinks. You've been feet farting on it sometime now. Yeah, I think that's where I thought the feet farts was coming from.

Yeah. That's so gross. You've been smelling farts all morning. So, look. I know it. Horrimmoner. with you all morning. Horror movies, right? My dad, my dad on the video store,

he's the reason I'm into all this shit in the first place. He loved all kinds of stuff, artsy shit, foreign movies, David Lynch. Oh, that was weird. Baby, baby. Dude, David Lynch was his dude.

Dude, man. Tell him the story. Wild at heart is fucking one of the ultimate, I love it. I've lived by that movie. When we put that out, didn't we? We just put it out on our podcast, right, Drew?

What? that story like pilot episode of into the abyss yeah yeah it's out and we put it out on ours so y'all heard it if you listen to that we talked about my dad you know oh oh oh I'm sorry you're talking about yeah it's very different now but you're talking about when I interviewed you about your dad right yeah I'm gonna call that yeah and I forgot we called that the pilot we yeah it's very different right okay but I'm gonna use that another episode that we had put it out and I wasn't wrong so people yeah people have heard me interview about your father yeah so I talked about it on there, but basically

he was super in all that shit, and I think with David Lynch, what happened was he just like he tried to get me into David Lynch like way too early. Oh, yeah. And I just remember being like, what the fuck? And he kind of never stopped doing that. Like, even when I was in high school, he showed me

fucking, you ever see? No, John Waters, pink flamingos? Yes, I have. Yes, I have. And he's like, he's just like looking there watching me, watch it just like, what do you say about that? Hey, what do you say about that boy? Ain't that wild?

Yeah. How wild is that shit, son? God damn. Like, just like that, but you got to think how, like, teenagers and fucking tweens and all that, how their brains work with that type of shit. I mostly thought all that was just like, what the, oh, yeah, I, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is this?

No. It's talking asshole. Yeah, right? Like, why are we? So, like, I never at all connected with it. like because of the context of it right my dad loved it i've actually been thinking lately because i've been reading shit about david lynch on the internet and stuff but i need to go back and revisit it all as an adult i think i would have a new kind of appreciation for it do you really think that and i'm being sincere by the way maybe maybe what i'm about to say wild at heart do you remember wild at heart uh with nicholas cage and laurne uh what's the what is the general story is got the chris isa ix song in the middle of it basically sailor and lula go on which is uh nicholas cage and lula Lordearn basically there

he skips out on parole he's taking her from her her like father there's some assassins there's dude no I guess you show me wild at heart no I cannot dude I cannot

if you're ready visit start with that bad some bitch I like David Lynch okay but he's one of those to me and I'm not like saying that you're doing this tray but I've done this and maybe you're doing this I've done this before where a lot of people who I

am into and respect are into something I think I'm supposed to be. Yeah, right. I'm smart and weird. I absolutely do that, yeah. But like, I like some David Lynch and some of it. I'm just like, I don't understand what the fuck is happening. John Waters, same thing.

I think Wilde Hart will hit for you in a way that, God, dude, there's so many people in it. I can't even, I really hope you get to that soon. I'll watch it. So, but. Sorry. So, he also. was a huge horror movie buff, right? And he loved to read the, you know, he loves Steve,

he turned me on Stephen King and all that shit too. But he loved horror movies. And that was another one that like, I just, and, but to this day, though, I personally just feel like 95% or more, even, of horror movies are just fucking dumb as fuck. You're right. For the most part. Now, here's the thing.

Anytime I ever see a horror movie that I think is actually, is actually genuinely good and effective and everything, I fucking eat that shit up. I love it. I just feel like I very rarely ever see that for the most part.

I feel like they're mostly very tropey, cookie cutter, same type of shit. That jump scare stuff is just bullshit in my opinion. It is. Like, a lot of times they don't make any goddamn sense.

All that classic shit scream was making fun of the way people act in horror movies. That ain't changed for a lot of them. They still do a lot of the same shit. And, like, I just watch all that, and I don't get fun and enjoyment out of it. I'm sitting there just, like, annoyed the whole time.

Like, the fuck. What are you doing? What is happening right now? What is the shit? It's one of those things that, like, you have to, like, be into it and enjoy the shittiness. Right. And I just don't when it comes to horror movies at all. Right.

You have to know that the tropes. And you have to, like, and knowing the history of it also, like, knowing, like, the dude who produced and made most of the Halloweens, not John Carpenter. His name was, um, Muscaton. Mustafa Akkad, I think he was, was actually, actually ended up getting up. The horror guy's name is Mustafa? Yeah, he was actually really known in a, in, uh, over yonder in the Middle East for making like, trying to like, make these like, uh, movies about Islam and stuff and, and, and to create, like, a more of an understanding of it and stuff.

And, like, he ended up getting blowed up. Yeah, yeah. That's how that goes. Yeah, you'll have that. It's so weird to see him like, like, It's so weird to know that he was out here doing that. And then, like, but anyway, that was very interesting to me, find that out. I don't know where I was going with that, because then another thought popped in my head.

Where was that? Oh, you have to know about the tropes. You have to understand, like, some of the, like, the history of its interesting, knowing that, like, Halloween 5, I think it was, was actually made by a Swedish director who, like, it's the most garbage movie. that's ever been made ever it's so terrible but like he came in to like direct the movie and he was like telling him apparently he watched like the whole slasher film like nightmare on elm street all this all this and then he was talking to the producers and like threw away the script that they had it said it doesn't this does not you know stand true to horror movies and all this other mess and then just came out with like a the biggest piece of shit silent and it's interesting to know that anyways i did the like the like Like, I really, I really dig all the old, like, practical effects type shit. That too. I really like all that, like, in a vacuum. Not CIGI, but, like, seeing, like, monsters.

Yeah, yeah. Like, I listen to Rick Baker, who's, like, the king of that on Mark Marin recently, and it's one of my favorite episodes in the years. But, like, I'm very fascinated by all that shit. John Carpenter's The Thing, on my all-time favorite movies. Fucking love that movie. It's amazing. So, like, when a horror movie hits for me, it hits really hard. I just find that they.

more than any other genre of movie for me in particular have far and away the lowest batting average. Like, I mostly don't like them. It's mostly the same for me in terms of the batting average, but it's weird because I feel very differently than you. Here's when I like them. When they nail the camp like Night of Living Dead 2, I think that movie is so fucking hilarious and sometimes scary with some of the jump scares and all that. And it's like borderlines on parody, though, right? No, it's the one with Michael Jackson comes out after he's getting like... It's the one with Bruce.

Bruce Campbell. You're talking about Evil Dead. Evil Dead. I love Evil Dead, too. Yeah. Evil Dead is a different. I feel like that's kind of a different. Fair enough, because it's like Borderlines on parody.

How amazing is Sam Ravis. By the third one, it's straight up. All right. I really like Stephen King movies. Stephen King movies that are done like by director who wants to focus more on the sort of themes. Instead of just the whole. Yes. The Shining is.

What's that one where Johnny Depp keeps eating corn and goes crazy? He's got a Titoro in it? It's a... I loved it. Secret window or the window or secret window? I loved it. I loved shit like that. But I hate the ones you're talking about, too, where it's just like jump scares.

But then some of the other ones you're talking about, like, us? When you're like, when it's really well done, I like it. I didn't say us, for the record. I thought it was really well done. Get out is... Oh, shit. Whether it's good or not, here's what I want to. I don't really even want to talk about that.

When somebody does a genuinely scary thing, well, I actually fucking hate that. I am not here to be frightened. I don't know why people like that feeling. I didn't have to watch us. As soon as you told me the name of it, I got it. Oh, the scariest thing in the world is me? You're exactly fucking right. And I don't want to look in that mirror.

It's not what I'm trying to do right now. And I don't know, fucking Saturday night, you know, set me down with a good book when I'm ready for it and I can go slow. Sure. Yeah, no, I can also appreciate when they pull the camp off. if it's that type of horror movie. That's what they're going for and they pull that off. I love that.

Like, you ever seen Cabin in the Woods? I love that movie. It was great. Yeah. But we never watch it. I'm already scared. It's, uh... It's cabin, it's woods.

It's got a lot of the camp. There's a lot. It's like, it's crazy, but it also is crazy in a way that makes sense. It takes almost every horror trope in the world and subverts almost all of them, like, very... But very well?

Very explicitly. And there's a unicorn... Goring motherfuckers in it. Right. Dude, people get gored by unicorn. It is hilarious. I might watch that one. Dude, that movie.

What about, I watched Blair Witch Project. Fuck that movie. In a fever dream. Like, I had a fever of 104 and I watched it with my girlfriend in high school, and it freaked me the fuck out. I have still never seen that movie. I, it was this huge, that's like the very first ever viral marketing phenomenon. Yeah. The first thing that the internet ever turned into like this whole thing, right?

The product. That's the first one that that ever happened with. And the whole story at the time was like, this is. is this is all real. We found this footage and we don't know what we do with it. I think a lot of people saw in theaters still thinking that and believing that. And if you did, I can understand how it would have been very effective. I had already like read somewhere on that.

I knew already before I ever saw it that that wasn't true, that that was all just part of the marketing and that was bullshit. And maybe that's why I don't know. But even at that age, as a teenager or whatever, when that came out and I saw it in theaters, I was like, this is. so boring and shitty. Like, I don't know. I just, I didn't like it the first time I saw it.

And I've, uh, freak me out. I always felt like that movie was just a, it got all, it was the, it was a cultural phenomenon in that it was the first thing to achieve, to effectively execute the thing that it did, meaning a viral marketing thing. Yeah. And that's what made it a huge success. But the movie itself for me had like little to nothing. What about the ring?

When the ring came out, I was, I liked it and was freaked out. It freaked me the fuck out. That was, that was me as a grown-up-ish. I was like 19 probably when I saw it. Yes. Being like, oh, I don't like this. When the first victim's face, you remember their face was blurry? I'm getting chills right now.

It rocked me to my core. I was like, oh, God, like, they took their soul. Like, they erased their humanity. And, like, I'm saying that to people who are watching the movie with me. And they're like, what the fuck are you talking? It's just some, it's just scary. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. She took his soul.

I'm freaked out. I can't do it. I just read too much into it. it I guess. I don't like it. Yeah, none of those that, what was that other mess that came out of Japan? There was like a whole. The Grudge.

The Grudge. The Ring started it. The ring was the first one. It was a huge success. So then they started just doing all of them. Every Japanese horror movie. I know. I thought it was Japanese horror, but I have a fun of it.

The Grudge was the next one. And it was also a success. But then they started, you know, digging deeper into the barrel and pulling out some horses. Andy and I saw an end of the barrel. There was a lot of them. Andy and I went to an independent horror. You remember Dom?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Helped us in Detroit. Yeah, yeah. He produced, and I think directed an independent horror film that Andy and I watched the premiere of in Hollywood, and it was hilarious, and it was meant to be. It was campy, and it played it up, like what you were talking about. There were these puppets, and they were controlled by this wizard,

and the puppets were demonic, and they were so funny and crass and racist and horrible, and it was so fucking funny. But it was meant to be. No, yeah, that's how. You know, a little stab with a little puppet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with it. I like all that.

Speaking of freaky shit, but in the real world, I feel like this is maybe, you know, I got this list of weird topics from what I can bust out every now and then. I hope DJ knows about this. Seems like the type of thing he might. The French dancing plague from like the Middle Ages somewhere in there. I don't know about Middle Ages, like, I don't know, 14, 1,500 or something like that. No. The French dancing plague?

You never heard about that? No, no. Okay. So it was this thing where like back in the, you know, the olden days before the hits had been invented. And nothing hit and everything sucked and everybody hated everything. I mean, I guess some things don't change. But the dancing plague of 1518 was a case of dancing mania that occurred in Strasbourg, Alsace, modern day France, in the Holy Roman Empire in July 1518. Around 500 people took to dancing for days without.

rest, and over the period of about one month, some of those affected collapse or even died of heart attack, stroke, or exhaustion. The outbreak began in July 15, 18, when a woman Fra Tofia began to dance fervently in a street in Strasbourg. This lasted somewhere between four and six days. Within a week, 34 other people had joined, and within a month, there were 400 dancers, predominantly female. Some of these people died from heart attack strokes or exhaustion.

One of your poor... Hold on. One report indicates that for a period. For a period, the plague killed about 15 people a day. However, the sources of the city of Strasbourg at the time of the events did not mention the number of deaths. Historical documents, including physician notes, cathedral sermons, local and regional chronicles, and even notes issued by the city council, are clear that these victims danced. It is not known why they danced, some of them even to their deaths. as the dancing plague worsened Concerned,

Noble sought the advice of local physicians who ruled out astrological and supernatural causes. Well, that was her first mistake, did you? Yeah.

It's like, no, this ain't no demon shit. Didn't there a theory that it was a parasite? Demons ain't got moved. Isn't there a parasite theory that? Listen to what they landed on, though. They ruled out

astrological and supernatural causes instead, announcing that the play was a natural disease caused by hot blood. Foreigner. It's foreigner. Hot-blooded. Check it and see. I've been telling you,

foreigner's one of the greatest rock bands. They had a hot-budded. God damn. Dude. They had a dancing favor. It wasn't a problem in the 70s. Why was it a problem then? They just didn't have discos yet.

They didn't know. They did a disco ball and some fucking subwoofers. They would have been fine. Dye damn. This was documented. It's a parasite, right? Isn't that like the leading theory now? First of all, yeah, there is, as far as I'm aware, there is no, like, definitive? Definitive answer, but, all right, theories.

Modern theories include food poisoning caused by the toxic and psychoactive chemical products of ergo fungi. Wait, that doesn't. They're on mushrooms? For five days? No, no, no, no. I'm not, right? I'm not, ergo is not the same as psilocybin mushrooms. No, no, no, no. No, it grows on wheat.

It's like, it's a wheat germ. That's what, basically what, what they. thought that the witch is... I thought it was Ergo just was Latin for because. Right, which grows commonly on grains in the wheat family, such as rye that was used for baking bread at the time. Why did they dance? Ergidamine is the main psychoactive product in Ergo. It's structurally related to the drug LSD, and it's the substance from which LSD was originally synthesized.

Was originally synthesized. The same fungus has also been implicated in other major historical anomalies, including the Salem Witch trials. Okay, but LSD don't kill you. They don't make you dance for five days. Maybe if you took too much of it. Maybe it does. And you keep taking it because you don't know that you're even taking it or whatever. But there's not even any music.

Like, what, dancing? Like, and they described this as dancing. Don't feel like dancing. Another expert speculates the dancing was stress-induced psychosis on a mass level. Since the region where the people danced was riddled with starvation and disease and the inhabitants tended to be superstitious. Seven other cases of dancing plague were reported in the same region during the medieval era. This could have been a florid example of psychogenic movement disorder happening in mass hysteria or mass psychogenic illness,

which involves many individuals suddenly exhibiting the same bizarre behavior at the same time. The behavior spreads rapidly. What's another example of that? The sufferers are primarily adolescent females. They're just talking about when Elvis came out. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. That was a mass hysteria, baby.

Yeah. There was a black plague Elvis coming through. Shaking his fucking left. Some bard just kicking ass. Yeah. He stole all the music from the moors and these white people couldn't handle it. Uh, yeah, I mean, and that's pretty much it. Good God.

I thought I read something about a parasite that makes animals dance before it kills him. No, that's, I know what you're thinking of and that's, uh... It makes them climb to the top of trees. then they die and a fungus grows out of their body and the spores get off and it's fucking wild but no that's thankfully that has never been known to make the junk to humans

to the dance well you mean thankfully might rule no we're not rule you've seen the clips I watched that hide I was like I was like dude I was like dude that's a zombie movie yeah that's a perfect oh yeah turns out

maybe the one of the biggest video games of the last 10 years the last of us. It's literally just that. That's what that game is about. 828 days, kind of that. No, that's like a grown in a lab,

like rage virus that the military was doing to make like super soldiers, whatever, but they fucked it up and then people got it and they're not, I must be thinking of a different movie

because I know I didn't confuse that. They don't zombie, they're not zombie, they don't eat people or whatever. They're just mindless rage killing machines. Oh, yes. But they're not eating.

You know what we figured out about vampires? Yeah, zombies. I mean, yes, I think there's a lot of terrible, fucking terrible zombie shit out there. There is. But I like the good stuff I liked. Wait, man. I love the first season of the Walking Dead.

Wait, man. Yeah, which I can't watch it, even when it stops hitting immediately. What did Max right? Oh, fucking World War Z. Love that book. That book rules. Yeah, it is. The hell, I like the movie, even though it's nothing like the book whatsoever, but I thought it was entertaining.

But no, I can dig zombies. I just think, I mean, I feel like they're done. to fucking death at this point. Yeah. I like looking at zombies for a while. Like a cool zombie to look at it at. I've been saying zombies deserve a break. Yeah.

Vampires. They've got too many allergies. Right? Like nothing, only like one thing killed, two days killed. Some bitch he's got a garlic allergy. You know, sunlight allergy? Well, sunlight will kill it, but like, but like, don't. Yeah, I have a peanut allergy.

You're killing a fucking seven-year-old. I guess a steak in the heart's the only thing that's like really kill them. I also am allergic to me. Those. But, yeah, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah. Deathly allergic to steaks in the heart. Yeah. But the rest of it's just allergies.

Holy water. Don't kill them. It just fucking. Sunlight. And a lot of versions, they can get hit by sunlight and not immediately died. Right. You know what I mean? So, like, you ain't counting sunlight as an allergy they have?

I reckon, yes, I am. Yeah. You made a very good point. Sunlight, garlic, holy water. I got an uncle who takes states straight to the heart. Some of them. Silver with some of them. Silver bullets.

That's a werewolf. Crucifix. Crucifixes, yes. They do have a lot of allergies, you're right. I don't think silver is one of them. Tell you what, they ain't allergic to. Dick. Yeah.

Stay fucking boy. Well, Dick's got a lot of blood in it. Ooh, they gay. Yeah. They hit harder for me when they were gay. It is funny. Like the Anne Rice, like when they came out and they were like, not gay, but they were obviously bisexual.

Yeah, hypersexual. They're hypersexual. It's way more for me. Isn't that kind of wild, sort of, that that's like a part of the vampire thing? I mean, I guess it's because they're, they bite your neck. They're seducous. Yeah. They seduce you and then bite you.

But like, yeah, the, like, seduce and then a dick. The super sexual part of vampires has always been like. Correct me if I'm wrong. They don't have, in classic versions, superhuman strengths. I mean, they can turn to a bat. But, I mean, they can't just wrestle you to the ground and choke you out and then drink your blood. It's more like I hypnotize. That's what I'm saying.

They have to be sexual because that's how they get you to let that neck open. Right. And if you're alive, the blood's better. Everybody knows that. It's like sushi. You want it fresh. Yeah, like if they drink it. Yeah, they can drink it.

They don't want to kill you and they drink your blood. They can, but they don't want to. As they, maybe my favorite line from what we do in the shadows. Yes. Fogneux of Mockumentary where he's explained, you were just talking about how it's better when it's fresh or whatever. And he was explaining like the document had asked him, why do vampires love virgins so much? He's like, well, I guess I'd say, I don't know. So let's just say, if you had a sandwich, you would probably just enjoy it better if it hadn't been fucked.

Dude, that show, do you watch the show, too? I've started it. I just started it, and I mean, I dig it. It's fun. But I'm not far into it, yeah. It's fun. Well, we've hit an hour. We've got a couple more things to do.

Let's wrap it up. All right. Yulke. Well, I got nothing to say. You got anything you want to come see us at Zane. Fly Spirit Airlines. Or don't. Don't hit for you?

No. Tell him why. It's like being on a rowdy bus in the sky. It was the best time. You said, I guess, I was a fucker. He told a similar story, and the story hit very hard. Don't get me wrong. He told a similar story about flying to Vegas on Southwest Plain.

It hits so hard. The story hit, but like the whole time when he was saying it, I was like, dude, fuck that. You've got to understand. This is something that's beautiful about DJ, though. He lives his life as if he's in, like, a video game. Right. So if the story hits, he's hitting watching it. Like, I watch him five.

There was a guy with a harmonica. Just playing the harmonica. Right, which is most people being like, could you believe it's some bitch is playing harmonica on my flight? And DJ's going, look at this crazy motherfucking. I went on my flight and joined the harmonica. I mean, every, when they started passing out snacks, I was sitting by a stewardess who had their flight got canceled.

They had to go somewhere. And, like, the dude kept on, he kept on, like, passing, like, snacks to the woman that was sitting beside. me like on the free you know what i'm saying on the low passing them off and then she was sharing them with us and like dude it hit for me so hard well i guess if i guess nobody i guess no they suppose people like you i think i've heard i never met one in a while but i've heard all right fuck it uh yeah come see j's gonna bet zanis turns out into the abiscus for part of it anyway yeah check out end of the abisket so you love you skee you thank you all for listening to the this week. Remember, we are on YouTube.

YouTube.com slash well-read. You can actually see the podcast. Also remember, well-redcom, W-E-L-L-R-E-D, comedy.com. That's where you can find tickets to see us on the road and grab our sweet marks. We love you.

And thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do, thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew. Thank you.