wellRED podcast - #145 - Thanksgiving with The Wives! w/Andi and Mrs. CHO

Episode Date: November 27, 2019

Y'all ask us to have our better halves on ALL THE TIME so we figured since it was the holidays and we are thankful for y'all, we'd give ya what you wanted. Poor Trae was sick so on this episode Drew and Andi sit down in LA to talk about what they are thankful for, and CHO and Mrs. CHO do a Q & A in Webster City, Iowa! Shinesty.com Promo code RED MDRNCBD.com Promo Code RED 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See Capital One.com slash bank for details. Capital One and a member FDIC. Hello everybody. It's your boy the show. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellredcom.com.

W-E-L-L-R-E-D Comedy.com. That is where you can find out where we're going to be on the remainder. of our 2019 tour. Not a lot of dates left. We are closing out the year with our special homecoming slash Christmas shows at the best comedy club

in the country, Zanies in Nashville, December 19th through the 22nd. Grab those tickets, they go very quick. Also, subscribe to our newsletter at well-readcom. That way you'll know where we're going to be before my dumb ass even knows.

Also, now everything is just up on well-read comedy.com. That is where our YouTube page is, YouTube.com slash well-read comedy, which is where also now, if you don't know, you can actually watch this podcast. We've been filming them, and they're up there on our YouTube.

You can also just get the podcast on our website, well-red comedy.com. You can also get merch. We got T-shirts. We got hats. We got books. We got, yeah, our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto,

Dragon Dixie Out of the Dark, and our album, Well-read live from Lexington, all sorts of good shit. And like I said, the podcast is up there, anything from the archives, every single episode at well-readcomedy. com. Your one-stop shop, you don't have to go anywhere else. This portion of the podcast is always brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all you meats and also carvevodka.com.

Go to carvevodka.com and check out what the Cho drinks. It's Jacksonville's first and only craft vodka distillery. All right. Anyways, enjoy this podcast, and we love you. And skee-y-y-y-h- Okay, so listen, I think with this particular episode of the podcast, since ostensibly what we're trying to do here is show how thankful we are for everything, you know, I thought that it would probably be.

Like I think, obviously, since this is the well-read podcast, and obviously I, Trey Crowder, I am, most would consider the well-red leader, you know, leader, you know, leader, Trey Crowder. What? Yeah, I don't think I follow. I was like, like, is this a bit, Trey? No, no, I'm just, I mean, like, I'll talk later about how much I think y'all are cool, but, like, why not? Are you not thankful for me? Yeah, I'm just, of course. Yeah, I don't think it's that, man.

It's just kind of on the spot, you know. I mean, if it's really important to you. I mean, I think it'd be nice. Okay. When do you want to do it? Just, oh, wait. Are we recording right now? Okay,

Cho just edit my voice off. It's fine. Just go ahead, go now. Do it now. God damn. I got calls and stuff. I am very grateful that, oh, read this list.

Okay. I am very grateful for my benevolent Lord Trey Crowder, who has provided me with opportunities that I would not have had otherwise and has helped my family. In many ways, he is... Really? In many ways, he has provided me with more opportunities than my own father. And I hereby pledge my undying loyalties of him.

Yes, John, do it. Just read it. Also, it is important to note that while he is in every way responsible for the goodness of my life, he has not once asked for anything. Well, that's really on the nose. I think that's good for me. Corey, you can finish it out. Okay.

And also, Cho, cut out that part where he said it was on the nose off like that. But go ahead. Go ahead. Should I say on the tooth? Would that be better? Okay. Hush. Hush.

Cho, what are you thankful for? So, oh, so you have another list. Okay. I am very thankful to Trey Crowder for being more like a second father than he ever would be considered an older brother. I am so thankful for Trey Crowder because as it should be clear to every single person who has ever come in contact with me, Corey Forster, there is almost zero way that I was going to survive in the business of comedy. my own were it not for trays very inevitable pop in the viral video world I should be I excuse me I am grateful every single day that the world finally realized Trey Crowder's genius because if not I would still be living in a nearly

condemned house in Fort Oglethorpe oh you spelled it right in Fort Oglethorpe Georgia where I would not be married to my wife because there is no way that she would ever be with an even fatter and fatter version of the person that I am today and I owe that all to Trey Neil Crowder. God bless him and hail hydra. Wow. Okay. So was that so fucking hard y'all? God damn. They're the. They're the rednecks. They like cornbread but sex.

They care way too much, but don't give a fuck. Next that makes some people upset They got three big old dicks that you can suck Okay everybody, it's Drew, I'm here with honky-tong Andy And today Andy, me, Corey and Trey decided to give our wives a platform really to explain to the world on Thanksgiving week How, why, and the ways you're grateful for us. How humble of y'all So the floor is yours

I'm grateful for you Yeah Okay Okay I am grateful For your support You always support me And like believe in me

And tell me Even in like the lowest moments You tell me that you believe in me And I really appreciate that Oh man you ruined the joke That's very sweet Is there a joke? Of course there's a joke It's you guys

Well, no, I just meant the joke that we asked you on here just to... I mean, I'm not joking. I was going to roll with it. I know. You yes and did it. That's very sweet of us. I am grateful, too. That's very sweet of you to say.

I'm also very grateful for that. I think we're lucky because we both have insane careers, but our respective ones are close enough in type that we get it, but then far enough apart that it's not... weird. Does that make sense? Like, if you were an accountant when I was like struggling and wanting to die in New York and so close to giving up so many times, I think at some point you'd have been like, yeah, no. And if I were, you know, like a teacher, I mean, I think at some point I'd be like, I don't think this is making you happy. But doing what I do, I know that it is even

when you're miserable. Or it's like almost like you don't have a choice. understand it that's what I'm saying yeah for that yeah because I think that goes both ways what else are you grateful in general this year hmm um I'm grateful to have moved to California cool I've been enjoying did you just fart no it was the chair I'm grateful you didn't fart but I say farting you don't lean forward just kind of turned that way Okay, anyway, go ahead. I'm grateful we live in California, too.

The California. Yeah. I don't know. I'm grateful for a lot this year. I think moving out here has been good for us as a couple and individually. Yeah. And my new favorite joke only happened because we moved out here and you made me go to a honky talk.

That was so fun. Yeah. That was a fun night. It's true. Drew Kista guy The rumors are true And I'm very thankful But I had that experience in 2019

Thanks, California This is our first Thanksgiving in California And Andy is vegetarian Oh my God, you're so cliche right on time I know You're gonna break it The day of? I don't think so

You're not gonna eat gravy? You're not gonna eat I do love gravy I do love... You're not gonna eat eat the sauce of the gods. Yeah, I'm going to eat. You're not going to eat thickened meat juice.

Yeah, I'm going to eat the gravy. Boiled fat mixed perfectly with gluten. Liquid gold. You better deliver now. Yeah, I'm probably better flip this gravy up. You've been on a quest to make good gravy for a while. Literally my whole life.

Literally my whole life. Every year, Drew, it's like. I'm a sauce man. Every year, Drew gets like really, you get really into the, like, gravy game. All right. I didn't know that we were going to get so emotional so quickly. But we're talking about gravy. My dad makes it. My dad is the best cook in our house.

Hands down, he won the Betty Crocker Award in high school. He took Home Mac as a joke and then crushed everybody because Mama Dingin'in had taught him how to cook. And he had had to for himself. anyway he's a really good cook and what I miss most about home is the meals where dad cooks

and the time's dad cooks so like on Thanksgiving him and mom will split a lot of the stuff but he always makes chipplet gravy because he's the best at it and then he makes breakfast gravy because he's the best at it and those are probably two of my favorite things in the world same

biscuits and gravy favorite thing your dad does make good biscuits and gravy My most favorite meal is fried chicken biscuits and gravy and put a little bit of chicken grease in with the gravy, but you got to cook bacon or sausage for the gravy to be perfect because she just likes that white country gravy. Your dad's like, thin. No, it's like. It's like it's the white gravy you think of when you go to Hardee's, but it's brown because he's got that much grease in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

And he burns the flour a little bit when he starts the road. Mama makes good gravy. All right. Bullshit. It's pretty good. We're both loyalists. Is that what it is? No, I think I'm just an honest man.

Or it's just what you grew up with. No, my dad's gravy is better, and I'm just talking about that in honest terms. I think also it's what you grew up with. Objectively, my father's gravy is better than your mother's. Bullshit. It's objective. You talk about my dad's gravy. You brought him up.

No, I did. You did. You did. We're a little high. You always talk about how my dad's gravy hits. Your mom's gravy is great. But I wouldn't even put it in the top five of her things. And that's not, honestly, that's not even disparaging her gravy as much as it's me talking up the other things that she does so well in the kitchen.

Yeah, my mom's a really good cook. I'm not denying that. I'm not even trying to put my dad up against your mom, generally speaking. Though I would be in his corner. I'm just saying that when it comes to specifically. specifically biscuits and gravy gravy, what we'll call country gravy, frankly, your mom's a little bit too elitist to make it the right way. That's just what it is.

That's what it is. I said it, all right? I'm not trying to be, you know, but we're Baptist. Y'all Methodist, Presbyterian, excuse me. Excuse you. Exactly. Catholic J.B. I don't even know what that means.

Methodist? Yeah, I don't know. Methodist like in between. It's like. They're like Presbyterian light. No, we're there. like Baptist life maybe is a better way I mean it depends on the area. They're the middle child.

Exactly. Like, you know, they let women talk, but like only at a certain time of day. They're not, they don't tend to be like as loud and charismatic as Baptist churches. My music. They do, but it's not quite as rowdy as ours. Oh my God, the first time I went to Andy's church and they started the

you know, singing like you do. Like it's not, we like you know, like a really old classic It's normal. For Presbyterians, I guess. And Catholics and Methodists and Lutherans. Literally everything, but like Baptist and some other evangelical type churches. And it's the South. I mean, a lot of it comes from, like, I think, black churches in history

and the way they play church music differently. And then Appalachian churches and the way they play church music anyway. Yours way is normal. But I just went there and they were doing all that. And I was like, what? Like, in my head, I was literally like, this girl's, rich. Look what she comes from. This culture's different. And we do that. And then your mom's introduced me and people's like, and this is the DA and this is Mr. Johnson. He's an attorney in town. And I'm

like, what is happening right now? Because you know, at my church is like, this is Jim. Yeah, he owns a truck. That's his job. That's his whole career. It's his truck works. He just drives around working for people. Who go to your church? What did you think when you first started come to my church and we sing the same that one hymn glory be to the father and to the son and to the Holy Ghost.

Do you remember that? Yeah. We do that every Sunday, every church sort of? Obviously the first time, I didn't know you did it every time. Okay, fair. But I mean like, when you kept coming, did you learn it? That's exactly what I did. I kept coming. That's what I needed. I was looking at that. stained glass picture of Jesus you guys have and I kept coming

man I don't remember what I thought I mean I just thought all those thoughts I was just talking about in general like oh this is fancy you know like y'all don't have to remind everybody about the building fund every week the building fund yeah like churches like the ones I grew up in are constantly

needing more money because we have poor parishioners so even if everybody is tithing it's tough you know Whereas your church looked like an upside-down warship on the inside. It's pretty in there. It's gorgeous. So pretty. There ain't wrong with that in a pretty church.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like, you know, I could see how it would appear to be elitist for sure. That was honestly me probably being shitty and myself so accurate. Yeah, it's elitist. But I mean, I don't, to me, like a church. looking nice, especially one that looks like your church, it's like brick, old wood, stained glass.

In my mind, I'm like, oh, someone gave a shit. I sincerely feel that way. When a church gets real ornate or they have a $30,000 electric light-up sign or it's like white marble and gold everywhere, that's when I'm like, and look, it may be no difference. The reality of it may be that both your church

and the white gold churches I'm describing cost the same amount of money to make or whatever. But in my head and in my heart, I see that and I think, oh, someone cares about this church at your church. Yeah. And then the white and gold ones, like the Joel Austin ones, I think, someone cares what this looks like. Yeah. You know what I mean?

They care about appearances in the ladder and they care about actually just, they just actually love the church in the former. Yeah, it's really beautiful, actually. I mean, people have loved that church that I grew up in, literally from its existence. Like, in the hallways, there's photos from when it was. first built. Yeah. And like my great, great,

great grandparents are in it. Like, they help build it. Not great, great, great. One great. One great. But there's photos,

and there's photos of all of us growing up, like all the families and every year they took a Fourth of July picture. And it's really cool to walk through and like people really do love that building. Of course. And you can feel it. Because it's culture. Yeah. It's community.

I think that's the best of what church is. And I've spent, actually, I've spent a lot of time. lately, publicly, even on my own podcast with DJ, sort of talking about things I'm not grateful for as it relates to my time in the church. But since it's Thanksgiving and we're trying to stay on topic

and being sincere, I am pretty grateful for the love that I felt at the church I grew up in, the people that I got to meet because of that, the perspective that it gave me. Yeah, it's important because you're like grounded in that now. and that's really important, I think, as when you're young. I'm, like, somewhat grounded and then somewhat I feel actually unmoored because I left it behind and I didn't replace it with anything. And I don't know what to do about that. Gratitude's a good practice, though.

It is. As far as, like, rituals go, you know? Yeah. Because, like, I think you're the same way. No, I know you are. We talk about this because we're married and we live together. I started thinking about the podcast again. I'm so high instead of just talking to you.

I'm not an atheist, but I think, like, most people assume that I am, because I'm very... I'm fairly against organized religion because of, you know, the problems that it causes or whatever. Anyway, I'm saying I'll have to say I do mislake community in some of that shit. Yeah, and it's hard to get community now, a day, is I feel like it's getting harder. Why? Because people are getting more singular and living in their own world, so it feels like. Because of the Internet or just everything? Yeah, the Internet, the pace at which we move through life.

You know, like people are hustling and living life. Everything has become so impersonal. And I realize how old we sound saying that. But like, you know, you go to the grocery store. You can go to the grocery store and get. get food for two weeks and not engage with a single human being. Which they used to be impossible.

You had questions. You had to talk to the meat man. Tell them what the fuck you wanted. Then you go over here. You wanted seafood? Too bad. We had the truck went bad. And Chip's going to tell you the story about it. You don't want to hear it. But Chip's an okay guy. And you're allowed to smoke inside so you have a fucking cigarette. Exactly. So you smoke your cigarette while

he tells you why there ain't no fish. You move on. And you go over, you get some milk. I mean, probably not a milk, man. We'd be going way back if that was the case. We don't have communities, though. Yeah, we also lose, like, people calling you out on shit, like knowing you. I don't think we've lost that. Have you been on Twitter?

That's fair. Oh, you mean accurately. Yeah. Just mean, like, in your own small world there around you, in your community. That's true. I think so, yeah. I actually don't know what I mean by that. You talk about how, I think you're talking about how you're not an

a bubble when like growing up not just us as kids but our parents literally weren't in a bubble because they were going to church and school and jobs with the same group of people. So like, you know, your behavior got rewarded or punished

almost by the group. Is that what you're talking about? I think wait, you grew up in a community. You grew up with like all of your family around you, right? So I wouldn't quite call it a community if in this classic sense of like, welcome to the Burville community. I lived on Pleasant Ridge Church Road.

It was the church. That's where we got the name from. Aunt Cindy, Aunt Barb, Aunt Lisa, sometimes Aunt Donna, and the Coleman's. Aunt Lisa moved, but one of the Coleman's daughters moved into that house. Aunt Barb got a divorce, and then they moved eventually. Uncle Don, who's Aunt Cindy's husband, and bought her house

and let my cousin Caleb live in it for a minute but he's gone now and then Dustin my brother before he went to prison you know him him and Lindsay replaced Aunt Barb's

they didn't move in her house they got rid of her trailer and put a new trailer in so it was yes very a rotating cast of the families and then the Coleman's have been the only people

that have infiltrated it which is kind of ironic because Mr. Coleman is like this quirky history teacher who is for our area, the most liberal person in the world, and he's super weird, and compared to my dad. Yeah, he's... They get along, kind of, most of the time.

He's a weird guy. Mr. Coleman? Are we talking about... Yeah. Yeah. I love him. Yeah. He's a character.

But what were you going to ask me about it? I've forgotten now. Okay. I started rambling. Well, you know how it is. You start talking about Mama's sisters. I know. You could literally be here for days.

I love talking about your aunts. I want to write a book about it. I don't want you to. We're a TV show from the perspective of like a little boy growing up on a street like that. Because I learned so much from all my different ants. And they're all a different kind of nuts. You should definitely write a book. I've already done that.

No, no, no. Move on to a TV show. About your aunts. Do it. Ah, TV show. You can play one of them. What's the title? All my aunts.

I learned a little bit from all of them and they're all nuts. That's too long, but I liked it when I said it a minute ago. Ant crazy. I have, how many aunts and uncles do you have? You got a lot, too. I have seven, I think like seven uncles and seven ants on my dad's side. Word? 15 total?

Oh, wait, wait, wait, no, seven and six. Yeah, you counted your dad accident. Yeah. So many cousins. So many cousins. So, I'm also grateful for birth control. That's another thing that I'm done. grateful for them?

My dad's parents, man, my grandma had 13 natural childbirth and they adopted one. They adopted their grandson. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah.

Basically. It was just time. Yeah. After 15 years. Oh, Lord. I just think about, like, how they were coal-mining family and they were 13 14 kids and just like in this rotating

cast of children by the time my dad came along he had like older sisters who were like could be his mom yeah yeah I've had I have plenty of cousins like that my cousin Amy I thought she was my aunt until I was like 13 Aunt cousin Yeah that's Aunt cousin baby

Aunt cousin Amy Well, I'm grateful for family not to be cheesy, but I am. Me too. I think I really am too. I think I'm ready to wrap it up. I'm grateful for all of you guys out there listening. I know that's cheesy, but it's true. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

I hope that you have someone to spend it with tomorrow. If you don't and or you don't have money, you can hit me up on the internet, and I will either buy you turkey or talk to you, but only for like 10 minutes. Because let's be honest, I don't even want to see my own family on Thanksgiving, much less. I'm just kidding. I actually wish we could go home. But so thankful for family. No, I do wish we could go home.

I don't like missing this one. I do. Yeah, I miss Thanksgiving when we're not there. And it's fall in Tennessee. It's just a great time. Because of global warming. It is somehow fall at Thanksgiving. You are correct.

Well, all right. We're done. You good? You're feeling good? Do you got anything else to say? Oh, hello, pup, pup. Micah's interrupted us gracefully. I am thankful.

For the chickens. I'm thankful for my lesbian aunt, dog sitters. And the Russian ones. And the Russian dog sitters. And just like L.A. chickens, it's organic and it's tasty. So, like, typically, you know, generally, just thankful for the family. I'm cool now. I'm cool now.

I say, did you just give him a California accent? in the middle of that? Yeah. Ruled. That's a professional, ladies and gentlemen. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Hug a dog. Hug a fucking dog. Hug a dog. Oh, Andy, Andy wanted everyone to hear her turkey gobble. Okay, here we are. I'm in the basement of my in-laws

here in Webster City. We're here for Thanksgiving and me. And I have with me, Mrs. Cho, and we're sitting down here giving much thanks. How are you, Mrs. Cho? Fabulous. You sound it. So fabulous.

So how was your day so far, hanging out with a fan? It's been pretty chill, pretty relaxed. What'd you do? Tell them where you ate. We ate a Taco Tico. Yes, Iowa, as everyone knows, is known for tacos. Yeah, and Taco Tico is the number one place. So we did that, hung out, then we went to the, where we go?

We read books and chilled for many hours. We did. Then we went to dinner, and one of the, top three dinner places that they have here in Webster City. Yes, top three because it is... The only top three. It's the three. That is true.

So, yeah, so I read my comic books. I'm currently reading, for all you nerds out there, I'm currently reading Batman the Court of Owls. So I finished volume one. I also just finished volume one through four of the ultimate Spider-Man from 2001. And I'm mainly reading Doddy Girl books. Yes, what I like to call Doddy Girl Book. Explain them what...

Dirty girl. Explain to them what a dirty girl is. I mean, I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory. There's dirty girl stuff in there. Sexual things. Usually a guy and a girl who's broken and somehow she chooses to be with this guy who's also kind of broken. Oh, yeah.

But shows good qualities, so they end up together. There's some type of drama that goes on. When the girl wants to bang somebody and be dirty, she's broken. when the guy does it, he's a stud. Basically, yeah, 100%. It's not because. It's bullshit, right? Yeah, it's all stupid, but it works.

It makes the time about really quick when you have a 13, 14 hour drive. It ended up being 14 hours because of the traffic. Lots of traffic. You read like when we were on, not our honeymoon necessarily, because you did drink a lot and I didn't. I read a lot of books. But we've been on vacation, and it's like literally nothing for you to read like seven books in a week. I do read a lot.

Yeah. I can read very quickly, surprisingly. Yeah, and I mean, those books. I'm somebody who appreciates actual books, but for some reason, when I read on, like, my phone or like an iPad, I can read even quicker. So this is my theory on that and tell me if I'm stupid.

But my theory on that is that it's in your brain. Like when you're on the tablet, you're just read swap, read swap, read swap. And when you have the physical book in your hand, you know how many, pages you have left. So sometimes you'll be like, oh, I have so much left. I better get up and go do this thing.

Yeah, I make sense. I can't finish all these pages. But when you're on the tablet, you don't think about it because you don't ever feel the weight of that. That's true. That's true. But on tablets, they give you a percentage. It's like, you are 39% into this book.

Okay. Well, new theory. New theory. Maybe that triggers the same thing in your brain as like a game where you're like, oh, I'm going to get to 50. And you get to 50. And you get to 50. Whereas it when you're on the real book,

you don't start doing the percentages of page numbers in your head, or at least I don't because I can't even do regular math. Yeah, I don't know. Like I've said, it's a struggle because I've always liked to read actual books. I'm not against actual books. I love actual books, but I do read faster on technology. Yeah, so I just got the, you do Kindle or whatever. Yeah.

And I just, because I keep going to the comic book store all the time, because comic books are so easy to just breeze through. Yeah. Because even the huge graphic novels are, you know, mostly graphics. So I keep going back, keep going back. And I have just this huge pile of them. So I've signed up for Comicsology on Amazon, which is awesome. But like I read a couple of comics on it.

Comics are totally different. So much of it. Comics would be a little bit more difficult to read on technology. On the phone it definitely. On the phone it definitely is because then little bubbles are super tiny. But it's just, I need. My favorite thing, though, when I'm. do purchase a book.

As it says, if it's a dirty girl, it's like, thanks, Corey, for buying. We just did that whole thing, and we're not even plugged in. We're not like, that's not even on. Okay, well, that was hilarious and stupid. The reason that that was so quiet is because we were recording,

but it was only picking up through my computer because I didn't turn my damn microphones on. So, anyways, yeah, comic books, I like them, dirty girl books, you like them. we're going to do something different on the podcast this week. A couple weeks ago, I had people send me questions for you. Months ago. What, did I say weeks?

Yeah, it's definitely months ago. You know, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. Well, I had people send in questions for you, Mrs. Cho, to answer. And I thought it would be neat because people, you always get such anxiety. I'm like, please come on the podcast.

You know, why can't. It gives me serious anxiety. I know I'm a teacher, but I do not. like presenting. Anytime like parents or in my classroom, I almost like cry and hyperventilate because I don't like public speaking at all. Right. And I think I just don't want to support him. No, it's not that. It's not even that. I just get anxiety. And look, you're allowed to get anxiety about literally whatever you get anxiety about, but this is only public speaking when I put it out. But still. And you can just not look at what people say. And but again, as I've said, I mean,

in times, you and Katie and Andy are like our most requested guests, aside from DJ. I mean, totally get that. Yeah, but like, other than that, like, it's, you know, they want to hear from you. And that's great. I totally support that. I just get anxiety about it. I mean, again, you're totally allowed to do that. But like, I'm going to, so we're not just going to chat free form.

I have questions that you can answer. So, I mean, you have to use your brain a little bit, but not like 100%. Yeah, I mean, that's fine. Okay. we're going to start off first here from our buddy Drew Rodin, who you actually know. I do. He asked, how much does his, meaning me, how much does his mustache tickle? I mean, I guess I'd say definitely tickles, but a good tickle.

Oh, don't know. And also good in the sense of like you've been pretty vocal with me that I need to keep the facial hair. Oh, for sure, always. Go on with that. I want to explain why. Please never cut it. Because when we started dating, I was, I mean, completely. Yeah, and I mean, obviously, I would not choose to be with you if I didn't think you looked swell, you know.

But I just think you really rock the facial hair. I think it definitely adds on and it looks really good on you. And so I like it. So I think you should have it forever. I have such a huge baby face. Yeah. I mean, I guess if that's how you. You feel that I just feel that the reason you like it, I mean, the reason I like it is it makes me look, even though, don't get me wrong, I look plenty fat.

But it gives the illusion that I have a jawline, I think. Yeah. I mean, I don't see it that way because I just see you and I love you regardless. Aw. But, you know, if that's the way that you see it, then obviously you should still want, I mean, you still want it. And it tickles. Where. Yeah, it tickles that pickle, yeah. Sandy Saunders just says, just tell her that we are thankful for the time she sacrifices so you can make us laugh and think.

Not that I make anyone think anything other than, is he going to do another fart joke? Really? All right. Pretty bold move. So, you know, thank you for your sacrifice, Amber. I've definitely sacrificed. Don McCracken wants to know. Has she watched all of Tim Stone yet? Sadly, that has not happened. And I will say, this is the thing. Like when we started to do the tombstone watch, I had honestly thought I had watched all of it.

For people that don't know me and Mrs. Cho did a bonus episode of the podcast that you can find in the archives at well-readcom. And I thought, oh, this will be fun. You know what we need to do? This will fill an hour. This will fill two and a half hours. And it should have. Let's do a rewatch of tombstone and we'll do commentary over it.

and I turned it on and about five minutes into the movie, she realized, oh shit, I've never seen this movie before. Well, okay, here's the issue with that. We, back in the day, Corey was like freshly out of high school, 19 maybe. I was still in high school. I was 19. And him and his buddies stayed in this house. It was a very rundown house.

Happened to be at the end of the road of my parents, where my parents lived. And where we lived now, at the end of our road now. But that's where my parents lived. And so we would go down there all the time. To explain how run down it was. What did we call it? That's where I was going to get.

That's where I was getting to. We would party this house and we establish it as the crack house. Not because we were all doing crack, but because we were all, it was drunk. We were drunk. No, it was drunk. It was drunk. It was drunk. We were drunk and the house was totally run down.

piece of shit house and so we would party there and us being the 17 year old that we were we thought we were so cool and Corey was there being 19 living there doing we were just being hot messes and it was just the crack house and the only like we

obviously did not have cable in this house so we would watch like three movies at the time it was actually two or just two and definitely one was tombstone so I watched a lot of tombstone but literally just in small just in small increments.

And in my mind, I was like, oh, I've definitely watched Tombstone, but I'd only watched small pieces of Tombstone. Yeah. And what was the other movie? Do you remember? It was two movies that we had. We only owned two movies.

Both were Westerns. And I consider those two movies, maybe the number one and two movies of all time. The one you can't remember is the greatest movie of all time. I don't. It was Tombstone and Blazing. saddle. Oh yes, blazing saddles for sure. We played them on repeat and do you but I was also 17 so like I registered nothing. I was just like oh I'm cool

hanging out of these dudes and the only um the only music that you were allowed to play do you remember? No everybody obviously had CDs but we would only play one it was a box set it was boats beaches bars and ballads by Jimmy Buffett it was either that or we were watching Tombstone and we were uh or watching blazing saddles at the cracker. was the fucking question uh the crack house oh yeah she watched all of thamesstone yet so no she hasn't but we're going to do that and then i would like us to do a watch along of it and do our own commentary yeah we definitely should we definitely should but obviously i couldn't do that for her i fucked that one up that was not fault for sure percent what mic are you on that looks hot as fuck you're talking louder

and you said you were going to in the check i don't i just i get excited no i want you to i want you to do what you were going to do but when you're checking you were like i'm just going to i'll just do this I know, but you just got me going. You got me heated. I know, girl, I know. Let's see. Oh, this is a good one. Are there times when Corey is being funny that you wish he would just knock it off?

So this, she actually has like three questions on here. So we'll just go with that one first. Honestly. Honestly. When I'm being funny that you wish I'd just knock it off. Honestly, no, because that's how I work as a person. I am not a serious person at all. I make everything into a joke and try to make everything funny because I never want

you want to take me serious. For the record, you can shit on me right now. It's okay. No, but that really is how I work as a person. And so, like, I'm cool with him being funny all the time. I feel like that's his thing. And so I want him to be that way all the time. And he gets lots of reception that way.

So I prefer it that way. Yeah. So, no, I don't hate on that. I know that there's probably something. That is not the thing that bothers me. That is not the thing that bothers me. Okay. does he ever embarrass you?

I mean, I don't feel like you embarrass me unless you're like trying to make me look shitty. Let me, uh, yes, but like the only time I ever try to make you look shitty is if you're... To prove a point, because you've got to always be right. No, if you're shitting on me first. Yeah. And usually it's when I embarrass you and you call me out on it, it makes me feel bad about myself. Yeah. For instance, here's one story where there's, you cannot deny that I embarrassed you.

the record it's fine i understand um we were let's see i can't remember what it was i think you were going in to get a prescription or something you were going in in the grocery i can't remember what it was but we're sitting in the car and uh and i'm wearing my new my brand new uh bad boy joey janella jacket that's what i'm wearing and uh no we were at the hospital because i was having surgery no i know but i went in there with you for that i had to but yeah it was that day and we were having to go in some other place to get something and we're sitting in a car and oh no that's what it was i was going in to get your prescription and i was like are you not going to uh go in with me like don't don't you need bob to go in for blowing you're like absolutely not you're like no it's it's fine i'm not and i was

like you sure you said you wanted to go to the store and you're like no no you just you just go in i was like why aren't you going in you go your your jacket has a skull on it yeah because you didn't want to be seen with me with a jacket with a skull on it wasn't even that It was just like, I have a very strong opinion about people respect you by the way that you look because it's very true. It is true. And so I feel like you get treated the way that you look. Yeah. And you had a skull on your jacket.

And so I felt like I would not be taken serious. And I feel that's a respectable thing. I know how you are as a person. I know that most people respect that. But like, people in the public. You're not wrong for the record. It's just that I don't give a fuck if someone treats me like a person with a skull on my jacket because I'm going to have a skull on my jacket. And that's fine.

What else? Okay. And the other part to that question is the farting. How do you deal with that business? I fart just the same. Or more. Or more. Donny go.

Dottiego. Mrs. Butt. Mrs. Butt, you know. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll move on to the next question. If we're not going to talk anymore about farting. How, let's see.

Okay, this is worded weird, but. from gwendoline tina yuca i hope i got that right if someone offered you $100 per student to buy them each a gift and you had to buy each student the exact same gift what would you purchase for them that's a very intense question it is a very intense question because i don't know if it's something that they would take home or if that's something that would be used in the classroom right because well i feel like gift like if you buy them something for the classroom, that's something to work with. That ain't a gift. Yeah. So I don't like an array of things. Definitely books. Right, because that's fine for

everybody, no matter of you. Yeah, and books are honestly the most important thing when it comes to teaching and like kids learning, especially my kids, like being in second grade. So I definitely want to get them books. So how about $100, is this cheating $100 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble or books a million? Yeah. Because that's the same gift, but you can't get everybody the same book because they might not. Like, I saw it. Kids are on very different levels. Well, they are.

John Michael Bond posted something on Twitter. He's a comedian buddy of ours. He posted something on Twitter not long ago that was like, you know, when are we going to stop just completely forcing the classics on kids? Like, oh, you have to read the Canterbury Tales or you have to read blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you shouldn't force. And that's something we've very much been talking about as teachers that, like, support. Because we used to tell kids they could only read books in their level,

because kids would be on different levels. Right. But that doesn't support their love of learning or their love of reading. And what they're into. Yeah. And so we've stopped doing that. Like that's, we just want them to read. Right.

And what he was further, he had a whole thread about it was like, yeah, Treasure Island is a classic. But what if this person, this kid isn't into pirate shit or whatever. So you want to support what they love. Then he don't, he don't give a shit that just because you loved it as a kid. If he wants to read Harry Potter, you shouldn't go, no, you have to read the classics. Harry Potter will 100% be looked at the same goddamn way as Treasure Island and fucking picture

of Dory and Gray and all the classics when we're 70 and 80s. And this is a very tough question because where I come from in the kids that I work with we are in a very poverty-stricken school. Yeah, for sure. And so it's very

wide range of what I would say to that. Like, some Some kids, I would straight up say, I want to buy them a jacket. Right. Because they need a jacket. Well, you know what I'm saying? I guess it would be cheating, but $100 American Express gift card or basic gift card, do whatever you want. But you know what, though?

That's almost tough to say, too, because I don't want to just give some of those parents the free range to buy whatever they want. Right. I don't, you know, I don't, that's a tough one just because of where my kids come from. Well, I like the Barnes & Noble idea. Yeah. Or, I don't know. Well, how it's poverty-stricken? like a $100 gift card to some food place?

Yeah, something like that. That'd be good. Or like, yeah, definitely not just a $100 bill. No, absolutely not because it, you never know where that could go. For sure. Let's take a break from the podcast so I can tell you guys about our good friends at Shinnasty. Shinasty has, and I'm not just bullshit in here, the best underwear I've ever worn in

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Now, back to the podcast. Scoot. Um, okay. Next, how did you and the show meet? And when did you know that you were meant to be Mrs. Cho? That's definitely a huge two-parter. Yeah, that's a very...

So answer the first one. How did you and the Cho meet? Well... And then I'm actually curious about the second one. Um, Well, Corey and I met many, many years ago. His sister is actually my best friend. She was the first of them that I met.

We were in the same grade at school, and they did not go to the same school as us. They actually came from the school that I taught, that I teach at now. Yeah, used to be called Osborne is now. It used to be. Yeah, it used to be called Osborne and Cherokee Ridge. But then they came to our school,

and then me and his sister Kirby became best friends, and we're still best friends at this day. And so I grew up going and hanging out with Kirby and going upstairs to hang out with her older brother, Corey. In the attic. And thinking that him and all his friends were, like, super cool. Like, I remember going and watching the Sixth Sense with you guys. And, like, being scared, but thinking it was cool

because I was hanging out with you guys upstairs in the attic. And, like, y'all invited us up there to hang out. Like, I felt the coolest ever. For the record, we were cool. Oh yeah, I wasn't saying you weren't. No, I'm letting the audience now. I know you know. So anyway.

She didn't mean like, I thought he was so cool in like quotes. I was fucking pretty cool. So that was pretty much how it was for the most part of our lives. And then I went to college and spent many years away. And then when I moved back, I absolutely like could not live with my parents. And so Corey invited me to live with him. And at the time we were like strictly friends because I was just an idiot. and doing idiot things.

You just graduated college. I just graduated college. I was doing a lot of dumb things. And then Corey decided to move off to New York. And then I guess at that time I decided to visit him. And when I went to New York and we hung out, just me and him. For time reference for everybody, when she came to visit me in New York in New York was the week that something more than free by Jason.

Isible came out, so that's that time from. Well, and he's the person who got me on Jason. Like, before that, me and him used to get drunk and hang out on the couch, listen to all the Jason. You went to some Jason Isabel shows with me and other girlfriends of mine. Yeah, I would hang out with him on the couch or listen to Jason, stay up all night, just shooting the shit. Also, we listen to meatloaf.

We jam out to some meatloaf. Yeah, I love it. And we have the time of our lives, but we were in definitely different places at that time. but we also kind of always said if we were 30 and never married we ended up getting married to each other like we just made that stupid pack that kids you know younger kids did and um and then he moves in new york and then i went up and visited him that new album came out and we just kind of like i don't know realize the only you're missing because he had left and uh so i came home so he came home and dated another girl he dated another girl who you know kind of called him Ham Satan. Yeah, it was Ham Satan. Ham Satan. She was the one that called me, and they know that from one of our Vegas episodes.

And I basically, I guess at that point, realized, oh, wait, what was I missing here? Like, I've always loved Corey. Why could I not love him in this regard? You saw the picture of Ham Satan, and you're like, yeah, that's it. That's it. I was on it from there. And so I told him to break up with that girl and she was very bitter about all that. I think so, but, well, yeah, because then Ham Satan became a thing. So anyways, I realized I loved him then and we decided to get together and here we are now.

Okay, this next one, it's a doozy. I'd just like to hear her sound off on politics from Mandy Smith Thompson. Lord. Well, here's the ridiculous thing. I have absolutely no say on politics. They stress me out. And me talking about anxiety earlier

gives me the most anxiety. I feel like it's a bunch of people bitching each other all the time trying to make the other person see their light and see their thoughts on it. And so I've never really gotten a politics opinion.

I mean, I think where we're at right now don't hit. I agree on those terms. I mean, I agree with Corey for the most sense. Not because he tells me what to believe. I would never dare. He doesn't tell me what to believe. I do also just agree with what he thinks.

No, we just chat about things that aren't I would consider politics. We just, we talk about societal issues. And we usually are pretty down the middle with everything. And so, you know, if you, I think if you took a like a test, you would. lean more to the liberal side or whatever. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I don't necessarily say I'm fully a liberal person, but I've never been somebody who is fully one thing.

Sure. Like, I don't identify as one thing in any regard, but... I used to say, I said that for my entire life until 2016, because used to, that was like an okay thing. It's like, hey, you know, I don't really consider myself a Republican or Democrat or a liberal or conservative and I didn't and then this whole shit happened and I realized 100% how liberal I goddamn was and I was like no you know what I do identify as that because I would rather I'd rather be in that camp than the other bullshit but yeah I guess that's how I am I just

don't like identify like I don't I don't know well I mean we talk about it a good bit and like sincerely and I mean some people might get mad at me for saying this I have certainly kept up with politics more since Trey's video popped and our tour kind of became about that. Yeah, without a doubt. Our book and yada, yada, yada. But like, I believe what I believe

and I've never had to hear a person say it on TV for me to know how I feel in my heart. Now, there is some, like, gray area shit that I was not aware of that has to be pointed out to me like, oh, wow, I didn't even realize how deeply rooted in fucking sexism that thought that I had was. No idea. Thank you for bringing, you know,

from bringing that up, Elizabeth Warren or whatever the fuck. I guess I don't like ever, I don't know, I guess I've flip-flop between a bunch of different things. You're just a political person. Yeah, I'm just, it's just whatever. In my opinion, it's just a lot of stress. And for the most part, like, everyone is just bitching back and forth about stuff. And, like, I ain't have none of that. Like.

For sure. I don't know. I guess that makes me dumb. I don't know. Don't make you dumb. It honestly may make you very smart. Who is your favorite in-law? And I guess this honestly could go.

They're asking you questions that don't all have to be about me. This could be on either side. And we're going to exclude my sister because she's not. We're excluding my sister. You know, Corey's sister is my best friend. Now, we're excluding her. I'm going to exclude her. But to be honest, I'd probably say your mom.

Wow. I didn't see that coming. Well, just because she is a very, like, clean-cut, prestige, like, woman, and she has her shit together in life. But she's also cool as shit. Yeah, she's funny. I can come to her and say things, and she has the funniest stuff to say about it. And she's super responsive. Like, she gets it.

Oh, yeah. She's somebody, if you were to meet her, you wouldn't think, you know, I guess sometimes you wouldn't think she would, like, get you as. a person, but she does, and she doesn't necessarily pass judgment on you. And like, she's hilarious. No, she admittedly, like she'll say it, she has gotten more empathetic to people as the years have gone on. Mom had, mom, but she says how it is too. And that's what I love about her. She 100% says it how it is. She has her certain type of feels. And she's like, look, that's what it is. Hey, I mean, I'm sure after all these years of me being Kirby's best friend, she's probably had something to say about me. I'm sorry.

And I'm sure she, yeah, for sure. And now you're my goddamn wife. Yeah, and you're my wife. So, like, but no, I mean, mom definitely has like, this is my opinion and that's what the fuck it is. But I'll say this, mom's opinions have evolved over the years because, you know, we grew up pretty fucking in the church and yada, yada, yada. And mom definitely still is more of a conservative person for sure. Make no bones about it. but like she has started definitely in the later years to you know kind of be like oh well

I didn't know a lot about that culture or this person or this lifestyle because it wasn't around here and we went to church and we doesn't necessarily pass judgment yeah what I'm saying what I'm saying is the show will and grace really did a lot for our family really did really did just a huge number on our family so well that's interesting that you say that I wouldn't have I don't know who I thought you would have picked I mean, also, I love your dad. Yeah. You know, like.

All right, well, cool. You know, I'm not saying anything. I love your dad, too. Oh, no, no. That's. I guess I just conversely your mom the most. Well, you know, also, it's literally just, it's either my mom or my dad because I don't have a family. So it's one of those three.

We eliminated Kirby. Of course, it's my fucking mom. So, all right, next question. All righty. Let's see here. Do you find your husband funny? Well, first off, answer that one. Yes, I do.

One thing I've always said is that I'm not a huge comedy person, which is really insane. Yeah, it's sort of a bummer, but at the same time kind of hits for me. But I get major anxiety for people. Like, I get secondhand embarrassment. Like, I don't like when comedians have, like, a lull in a sense, like, where they're waiting for somebody to laugh and maybe they don't laugh. And so I never feel that way with Corey. So I've always thought he was funny because he's always a very fast pace.

ace comedian so which i've also told you like when we're about to go see a comedian you're like oh i just don't know like what if they gives me major what they're like what if they do something that's not funny i'm like if i'm taking you to see a show it's going to hit because either a i have gotten tickets to see bill byr or some fucker like that like we're actually going out of the house to see a show or it's one of my bros and like you know i fucks with funny motherfuckers so like that i could Because I wouldn't, I couldn't stand scene and not funny comedian either. Yeah. I mean, that happened all the time.

It opened mics, but like, if I'm fucking spending some, not money, I, I, literally, I've never paid to see comedy in my entire life just because I've been doing it since 16. And if you do it, you don't have to pay for it at the club. And, you know, luckily, we get hookups to theaters and shit because that's just such a small goddamn way. There's really only 20 comedians. Yeah. And I get to be kind of one right now, which, which really hits. Mrs. Cho.

Oh, wait, no, that was a two-part question. Do you find your husband funny? And now here's the other one. And do you have to explain his comedy to your MAGA-loving relatives? This is from a guy named Guy Clark. It's not the guy Clark that I grew up, love, and rest in peace. But do you have to explain my comedy to your MAGA-loving relatives? That's the thing.

I don't have MAGA-loving relatives. No, you don't. And it really supremely hits for me. Yeah. It's pretty wild. And you have a shit ton of relatives. Like I have... I mean, I really don't have that many

compared to a lot of people. But compared to me. Yeah. Like you have a, to me, you've got a fucking huge family. Yeah. Because with me,

it's literally just, it was just my, for a long time, it was my grandmother, my mom and dad and Kirby. And then Granny, of course, you know,

very famously died three years ago. Yeah. So you, I mean, we're in Iowa with a shit ton of people in my opinion. But not that many, but they also were not

Maga loving. Yeah, no, it's wild. Matter of fact, the first thing, your Papal Jansen, the first time I met him, number one, it was my first time being in Iowa as your boyfriend at the time, or was it

fiancé? I can't even remember. Maybe by the time I met him, it was fiancé. I think it was fiancé. Any Shways, we go out and he lives on a goddamn farm, you know, a farm, he's got all these cats, he's got a barn and shit, and he's an older,

white man from Iowa. So I'm just sitting there like, all right, you know, whatever. Like, obviously he's Amber's grandpa. I'm going to love him. But, like, they... Their opinions are going to be different of mine. Yeah. And the thing about who I am as a person, because I've been introduced to them by you and

your family as like, he's a comedian. That side doesn't really drink or... Yeah, that too. They don't really drink or cuss or anything like that. Which makes me immediately think, like, super really drink. religious, which, you know, Trump won amongst super religious people by a shit ton. Yeah. So, like, and again, all of your family, like, hell, the last couple times I've been here, your

grandma on the other side of the family has to show everybody the view that I was on, the interview of him. I would like, she's obsessed. So, right. So I knew they'd all seen that. And if they'd seen that, they knew how I felt. Yeah. There was no like, oh, I could just not talk about it.

So it was kind of like, little nervousness about that. Because I don't have the luxury of just like, I will just either, A, ignore it or be like, heard that. know so they know where I'm at and then we were sitting there and your papal jansen I'm talking to him and I don't remember what got brought up but he just goes well I'll tell you what anything would be better than that I butt head whatever you say when you don't curse I think piece of trash that piece of trash that we got in there right now and I was like Trump he's like oh I hate that guy and I was like oh my god me too like my eyes lit up so much yeah he goes

it was very shocking to be honest he's like I miss Obama so much I voted for Obama twice he goes, I'd vote for him again, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, you know, and I know there's a lot of people around here don't feel that way. It turns out he worked for the post office, which means he's a union guy. Yeah. Like, you know, it shouldn't take you a union position to think that Trump's an idiot. And Obama was a lot better. So, like, when I found out that you're fucking papal that lives on a farm in Iowa,

it wasn't not only hated Trump, but wasn't Obama. Because that could go one or two ways. He could have been a Republican that was like, look, he's making us look bad. or like he's a silver spoon fucking Yankee carpetbag and son of a bitch. But it was he liked Obama and hated Trump. And I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. This is like the family I want to be. Yeah.

And we talked about Obama. We talked about union shit. We talked about politics, social shit. It was awesome because I was talking to an older white man who thought like me. And it was fucking great. Yeah, you would typically think they would think other and another way. Yeah. Then I found out me and him were very similar.

in a lot of other ways. He's more, I'd say, dad funny and like, or like, he's super, how do you explain his humor? I don't, I mean, it's super fucking corny. It's like dad jokes. It's super. He's definitely dad jokes.

Okay, but like grandpa jokes. He's in a different realm though, because he's one of the people who, he tells dad jokes, he tells grandpa jokes, he tells cheesy jokes, but he knows 100% that he's being cheesy. You can tell, and he does it on purpose.

Yeah. And he does it on purpose. Yeah. And it makes it hit harder. Yeah. Like, if I'd have heard those same jokes from certain people that I knew were being, this is funny, right? I'd been like, get the fuck out of here with this bullshit. Yeah. But he's like, you know, he's like the Andy Kaufman of Papawls. He knows that he's doing it and it works for him.

Yeah. So that's the jansen side. Like, he could have been a comedian. Like, honestly, a lot of things that he pulls, he could have been a comedian. Hey, he told me, he said, you know, next time, because we do Des Moines from time to time, which is about an hour and 15 from here. And they've come before. Yeah.

And he's like, we were leaving his, maybe his house the other day or when he was down in Chickamauga. I can't remember. And he's like, hey, when you're in Des Moines, just let me get up and do five. I'm fucking doing it. Don't tell him I'm going to. I want to surprise him, but I'm going to let him get up and do five. He would love it. And like, you know, he's going to tell dad jokes and it'll be what it is.

But like, I'll put him up. A lot of people would really appreciate that I feel like. I'll bring him up. I'll put him over. I want to do that for him because I think he's a great also do. crush it. Yeah. For sure.

Absolutely. Especially if I intro him correctly. So that's the Jansen side. Yeah. And then the Robert side are just very apolitical. Yeah. Like matter of fact, I just, did you see me when I went downstairs? And I came back up here and said that your dad and your uncle Mark had hit for me?

I don't think I saw that. So I was walking up to get some grapes or some shit. We all were down here playing with Sadie. And I heard Trump like three or four times. from the basement and I was like, oh, shit. Oh, God. What is talking about? Hill turn.

They've turned. And so I put my ear to it. And it was your dad and Mark going, and God damn it, all these Democrats, instead of trying to run like a good campaign or some shit or trying to unify, all they want to do is talk shit about Trump. And I mean, yeah, fuck him. But like, what are y'all talking about? And I was like, I walked down the stairs and I go, I've been saying it like Randy Quaid and Independence Day, like 10 goddamn years I've been saying.

I've been saying it. I was like, yes, that's 100% right. I was like everyone who fucking, like everyone who's going to hate Trump already hates him. And they were both just like, what else could he do? Yeah. Like, what could he? Like, I was like, nothing. Everyone that fucking is going to hate him hates him.

So like there's literally, it means nothing in my opinion for Joe Biden to come on there and go, you know, Donald Trump, but he sucks. Cool. Tell me what it is about him that sucks and tell me what you're going to do different. Yeah. that's fine don't offer me a goddamn problem without at least some sort of solution and i'm not saying i'm not saying that i'm not saying that none of them have done that like do of course elizabeth warren has a plan semi laid out bernie's had a plan laid out since hell when he ran in 2016 but like so many of them just at least on their twitter feeding shit which is how they're getting their followers

and that's how they're canvassing nowadays all they want to do is go trump's a fucking racist Trump's a goddamn homophobe. Yeah, he is. And that hits for a lot of people. And those people are still there. And if that didn't hit for people, they're already gone. He's already exposed himself. What could he do new sincerely?

Yeah. Like, what could he do new? He said before he was elected, he's like, I could walk out on Fifth Avenue right now and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any supporters. And at the time, it's like, that's ridiculous. That's so fucking true. Yeah. Because he's pretty much like mentally and psychologically done exactly that.

Doesn't matter. And those people still 100%. Don't give a fuck. They do not care. So anyways. Yeah. So right now is like definitely not the time for me to be a political. But again, your dad and Mark are not down there being fucking liberal dudes by any goddamn

stretch of the way. But they're just apolitical what the fuck ever. Yeah. So my family is definitely not. So yeah, guys sincerely out there. there like y'all you know you come up to us after shows and stuff you're like oh you know going to thanksgiving with the family it's it's rough for us southerners and i hear you uh i'm so god damn lucky because got really lucky i'm so lucky because on one side of her family we talk about how

obama hits and how trump don't hit and then on this side of the robert side of the family i said this because we're at that house right now we usually just that's the first time i've ever heard your dad or anybody in this house say trump yeah so like and they're also drunk yeah this is why they were doing it but like i don't have to to hear about it here. Yeah. When I come to, when I come to, and I'm putting in quotes, vacation in Iowa, I get to take the week off from ever hearing it.

And I never, I never have to worry. No, this tomorrow or this Thanksgiving, it will be tomorrow when this podcast comes out. Each dinner table I sit out, I don't have to worry about shit. And if someone does start talking about him, I know that he don't hit. Yeah. Luckily, my family is not all right to open that either. So I guess that's why I am the way that I am. Yeah.

No, it hits. So let's move on. on Mrs. Cho cage fight of the three of them, who wins? Be honest. God, this is a really tough one. I feel like, definitely not Trey.

Because Trey's just like a little, I don't know. I'm going to lay out an argument for all of us. Trey has the best reach because he has the longest arms. Yeah, I don't think he's not capable. I'm just saying I feel like Trey's just like, whatever about that. Well, but okay, that's true, but in this situation, we do all have to fight.

Like, we have to, so he will be, like, you know, into it. And also, he's way less that since he had his sinus surgery. Like, he can get up and do shit now. He's up more, yeah. Yeah, he's not just a fucking invalid like he has been forever. I don't know. I feel like you can get very scrappy. I can.

Here's my argument. My argument for Trey is he's got the best reach, which is super important in a fight. And I just feel like you and Trey would team up. Yeah, we probably, that's a good argument. me and Trey would probably team up and beat the shit I drew right at first. But Trey has great reach and he has dad strength. Yeah. That he's the only one of us that has dad strength.

And that is a very real thing. That's a very real thing. And in a cage match when he knows like, hey, somebody's got to get out of here and go back to their family. Like if you gave him like the thing, like you got to go home to your family, like he would. Also not for nothing. Trey has dad strength, the best reach. And I mean, he grew up in a fucking show.

shit situation. That's true. Yeah. So he would definitely pull some, like, he's fighting for his life. Yeah, having to get whipped up on by fucking bigger trailer motherfuckers. So that's, Drew's, my argument for Drew, Drew is by far the best in shape. Like athlete. Yeah. Best athlete of us, he's the most in shape. He is absolutely fucking insane. And I don't know that he cares if he dies. Yeah. Which is pretty good in a goddamn cage match. I also feel like you could be that way too, though. Yeah. No, I hear you. Um, my- You would not when to go down losing. My argument for me is literally only that I have been in several fights and I've won most of them and I have a pretty good right and I'm really strong on the ground.

Like I can't necessarily say like how you are in fighting regards because I've never seen you. I'm not bad. But I feel like I've heard about how you can be scrappy. Yeah. My only, yeah, oh you have? What are you heard? Who been saying shit? I mean from a long time ago. Yeah, back in the day. I'm definitely. I'm less in shape now, but I'll... I think the being out of shape might not help. Well, see, that's the thing, too, is where Drew is definitely going to have me and Trey. He can rope a dope for a minute.

Like, he can just run around forcing us to have to beat the shit on. I feel like he'd pull some dirty shit. Yeah, well, it wouldn't even be dirty. Just be smart. He's got, he's better at cardio. Yeah. He could run around from us, force me and Trey to beat the shit of each other. And then when one of us was gone and the other one was worn out, he comes in.

I could definitely say that. That's a tough one. It is tough one. I would probably get butt-necked and be like one of y'all going to have to come at me. Yeah. But Drew would have to be like, fuck it. Drew would come over there and bite me on the dick. He wouldn't give a shit.

Yeah, like I feel like he would do some dirty shit. So who do you think ultimately wins? I don't know. I want to say that you would. I can take a lot of shots. Yeah. I want to say that you would because I feel like you can get like this very intense rage about you, too, though, that would really pull through in the. the end, you know?

I'm going to say that Drew, excuse me, Trey knocks Drew out in the first punch because Drew was trying to come at me. Trey hit him from the back, knocked him out first punch, and then Trey probably beats the shit out of me. I don't know. I like that one's up. It could go either way. I feel I could be afraid to beat you up because, like, you guys are loves us.

Now I'm thinking Drew, I'm thinking Drew wears us out, like cardio-wise. and then I trip up, get on the ground, and he pumbles me. I don't know. That's a pretty good question. That's really tough. And like, yeah, because I'm definitely not to like, fuck that. I'd beat shit out of anybody. I don't know.

I think it depends. Like, if we did it three. I think it was 10 years. I was to say if it was like five years ago. I wasn't even going to say that. I was going to say that if we did, if we fought in a cage three times, it might be three different outcomes. Like it was just whoever's day it was. I just feel like that's being 30, too, you know.

Yeah, for sure. All right. Ernie Hernandez. oh, my buddy from, I believe, Sacramento, Ernie, says three things you are so glad he does, and it just wouldn't be the same if he didn't do them, he being me. Just like in our day-to-day life. Yeah, just three things that I do that I guess you really like about me. And if I didn't do those things, maybe we would have never got together.

You're very determined. That's true. Like, I feel like you work really super hard. Like, there's times where you're at home and you have, you guys have a bunch of stuff. Well, we're working right now and I. You guys have a bunch of stuff going on and you are very determined to do that. And like you put your all into it. Like always.

For sure. For sure. You are always that or support me no matter what. Like you got my back. You right, girl. In the worst situations. Well, we haven't been in pretty none of those yet. Yeah, yeah.

But I'm saying like in the small scale of things. Yeah. You always got my back. um you always provide i guess like you're a huge cook obviously like you don't want i was about to say if you do not mention the fact that i fucking cook i'm gonna lose my god damn mind which i'll say gives me anxiety back to my anxiety like i have pressure to cook for you because i feel like you just get it like you know it's such a bummer you have those like ability so i have this like so what she's what she's talking about and taylor's the same what like i can't nobody

will ever make me shit in our family because, oh, you, you're, and I'm, this sounds like a humble brag, but it's really just me talking about how much it don't hit to be me, I guess. Yeah, I'm a pretty good cook, learn it from my mama. You are. You just have this natural thing where you just throw things in and you can make it happen. Well, because of that, Amber and all her friends, none of them will ever make me anything because they're like, you're going to judge me. Why the fuck? No. I mean, I'll make. I'll make some, like, hello fresh meals and some. But, like, you're saying that while I'm sitting there eating instant ramen noodles, like, like, like, anything don't hit i'm a fat fuck i'll eat anything yeah and i mean i still attempt we've been

we've been making meals here in our uh you've been crushing it making those instant pot meals what's funny too about you i think i've mentioned this on the podcast you met the first hello fresh meal you made it was amazing and i was like see you can cook and you're like well i mean i just followed the recipe i'm like that's what fucking cooking is but i get that anxiety that like i'm not going to make you happy like i could have done something differently like i I could have done this more or added this or put this seasoning because like you're so good at that. Like you can make a basic recipe be gourmet almost. I will, I'm going to counter it with this.

I guarantee you that I never fold the towels the way that you want, that you would fold the towels, right? That's true. But, but don't it hit for you when I did just fold the towels and you didn't have to do it? Yeah, no, it's great. Yeah. Well, fucking there you go. Just do that thing. Yeah.

There you go. Like, no, you wouldn't have done it the same. same way and your way would have hit harder but like you didn't have to do it so just like that person is like do you want a hamburger helper for dinner and i fucking would you like a case when i was a kid because mom learned to cook like i watched her learn how to cook and that's when i learned too watching her yeah like before that hamburger helper beef stroganoff she made that twice a week and i fucking wish she would still it's amazing um let's see so we did that does choh have more shoes than you do oh that one's tough one too. More shoes that hit, I'll tell you that.

Yeah, I was about to say, um, he definitely has more shoes in the sense of like what he wears. I get really hung up on like, you've still got a bunch of shit from the past that you don't fuck with. Yes. For some reason I hold on to things. Like, I hold on to like shoes. I do too, and it's going to be a problem for both of us.

I hold on to shoes and clothes that I'm like, oh, this will make a comeback. I'm going to hold on to this. But like buying shoes wise. I'm definitely probably you Which you haven't been really going in here lately As I was telling me and Me and maybe dad were talking about the other day We were driving somewhere and he's like

Hey he's like what's the last what's the last pair of shoes you bought And I was like honestly I think I think I got them all Yeah Like not that I have like a pair that goes with everything I have finally got a pair that goes with everything And I feel like those don't go out No they don't know no hell no I maintain it look style is what you wanted to be

Yeah like here's the deal And you can rock anything. Here's the deal. Like, jean jackets and, like, fucking bomber jackets are back now. Well, they're only back because at some point, someone just decided to keep wearing them. All it took was for somebody to say.

Right. So, like, I don't give a fuck. Hell, I've been wearing bomber jackets since before that shit. Well, and when it comes to shoes, like, for dudes, like for Jordans, like, those just always are a thing that are a huge thing. They're the, well, the thing with Jordans and a lot of sneakers I get, because I do feel like I have pretty decent. taste.

Like, they actually hit harder later. Exactly. Oh, damn, those are they come out in 86. But for girls, we got all kinds of dumb shit.

Like, y'all have a bunch of shoes that look exactly the same, which I'm sure you feel that way about mine. Yeah, but it's like, like with women, it's like, right now the fat is booties or,

you know, tall boots or, you know, like we go through different fads of things. Yeah. And so we have to like go along with that fad. So it's like each year I get like one pair of shoes. that will go with the fad at that time.

And then the next year, it's something else. And I'm not going to, like, splurge on that. But with you, like, everything you buy, it's literally the same thing. Like sneakers or whatever. In 15 years, I can wear a pair of Air Jordan ones, a pair of dark jeans, and a black shirt, and it will be fine. Yeah. Like, even if that's not the current trend, it will be like, well, that's okay. That's timeless.

I think the only thing. Dudes have way more time with shit than women. And the reason is, is because we just have decided that we're going to wear the same shit all the time. And so, y'all just, you know. Like, y'all are going to have to get together. I'm telling you you, have to get together and be like, look, look, listen, bitches, have a meeting. Listen, excuse me, attention bitches, no more heels. It's over.

And let's just wear sweatpants all the time. Fuck these guys. They'll have to date one of us. They'll have to date one of us. Yeah. Or fuck them. We don't need to dress for them. My biggest thing about, like, having these conversations is that I wish people could see, like, your reactions.

You know what I'm saying? What, to this? Well, we normally film it. But I'm saying just when people are talking, I feel like some people like me, I feel like I have a lot of emphasis with, like. Oh, you do. Your hand, yeah, yeah. My hands and my vision. It's coming through, though, I promise.

And I keep on doing it. I'm like, people can't see me doing this. No, it's coming through. I promise. Let's see. Let's see this one. Where were we done with that? Yeah, it was about shoes.

Cho would, from Scott Doyle, Cho would Portal Pork himself if he could. Are you disgusted by this? I don't even know what the hell that is. If not, would you have a Menagerie Tuat with Future Chow? So Portal Portle Port Port myself means if Portals existed, like. You go back and bang yourself? No.

Okay. I would stick. So we had, we literally, it was a three episode arc in order to get to this. So like, basically in order to, I guess fuck you're on both. I can't remember how we decided it was going to be, but like I would put a portal to the wall, right? And then I'd put another portal and I'd stick my dick in that portal. Okay. Right. And then I'd throw another portal over here and the dick would come through the portal and I'd suck my own dick.

Right. Okay. Does that disgust you? Uh, I mean. If I suck my own dick. Or if I fuck my own butt. Or if I had a clone, it was exactly me, showed up. Or it was myself in the future or the past and I fucked myself because it's me.

I mean, I would just be confused why you'd want to fuck yourself. Because it's, I think everyone maintains like, well, that don't count. It's you. But why? Just to like pleasure yourself. Yeah, it would do. It's a butt I could fuck and it wouldn't be cheating because it's me. It's my butt.

Yeah. I mean, I guess I'd be confused why you wouldn't just want to bang. Well, I'm on the road. Can't do it. Okay, so like being on the road. I mean, I don't know. It seems like a very weird thing. would you leave me if I fucked myself?

I feel like we'd have to have a long talk about it. I just feel like in a situation where this thing even is a possibility, there'd be so many other variables. Like we'd have another you. Yeah. Now, God fucking forbid, but still. Oh, Jesus. Then he said, would you have a menagerie twi?

Like, would you let two maize buying you? I mean, I'd be open to it, I guess. Yeah. I'd hit. Yeah. I mean, it's literally two me's. Yeah. Let's see.

Let's see. Let's see. I mean, I'm just not one of those, like, weird things about porn and stuff, so I don't know. All right. That wouldn't be weird. Yeah. Well, again, I'm sure there's, we've had a lot of people like, would you quit talking about fucking portals and portal butt fucking? So we'll move on.

But you answered better than I thought. Guess it shows how much I listen to all of these things. I don't expect you to ever listen to any of these things. I do enjoy it though Yeah well thank you I appreciate it On the road trip And we listened to a bunch of things

Yeah that was a nightmare for me But luckily we just listened to a bunch of DJ episodes Which always that's for me Always Those are some of the ones I definitely will go back and listen to Because I ain't going to listen to just us three Yeah I do sometimes for like oh I need to figure out

What we said in this one or like What this is from but like a DJ episode I will gladly re-listen to that Because sometimes I'm laughing so hard I didn't hear a thing Yeah. And I have to go back here. All right.

We'll do this last question because we got a big day tomorrow. Also from Ernie Hernandez, but I like it. Top three things you want to change about him right now. Here's a magic wand. Go. One for sure is like how super defensive. I'm not defensive at all. He's super defensive about everything.

Not even close. He thinks that every. Everybody is out to get him. Oh, well, you and your friends talking about that before the show? Yeah. Yeah. Like everybody, every little thing is out to get him. So that.

The government. For sure. Okay. Well, that's one thing, which is not true, but go ahead. Another thing, I wish that he wouldn't be so, like, self-conscious about being bald. because it's not that big of a deal. To you, because you're not bald. And I get that.

That's very a personal thing. But like, I don't know. I don't know about other women, but it doesn't bother me. I don't care about you in that regard. I think that. I know it doesn't bother you. You married me. I'm in the entertainment industry.

That's what bothers me. That's the thing. My mom's like, I don't care that you're bald. Fuck you. I don't give a shit. that you care that I'm bald mom. I just don't feel like I've heard anyone complain about somebody being bald. In the entertainment industry, you hear people be called bawdy all the time on TV and shit.

Like, in my opinion, now, I mean, wigs and hairpieces exist, but like... I think that they play it up like it's an issue, but people don't actually think of an issue. The reason that they played up like it's an issue, you write what you know, I get called bald, on this podcast, I get called bald fat fuck all the time. That's fine for the record. It's just what bothers me about it is that it limits the things I can play on television or in movies or what the fuck ever. It could put you in a certain category. Yes, it does.

That's literally why I wear this hat on stage and stuff. And me and Trey have talked about it. He's like, you need to let the bee out. You need to just let the bee fly. For those of you don't know, my head is nicknamed the bee. Not me. My head's nickname is the bee because one time during a rose, Trey said that my head was so big.

It looked like I had just sucked off a beehive. So the thing, and he's like, just let it go. And I told him, I was like, dude, my act is so and this is me letting people know how the sausage is made this is like a wrestler breaking k-fayb right now but like my act is so very reliant on corey's the all shucks oh like i can say a lot of things that maybe certain people couldn't say because i have this childlike persona on stage i'm wearing these fucking big ass clown shoes and i'm wearing uh you know wrestling t-shirts or whatever and a trucker hat well i get away with it because there's Everybody looks at me like their younger fucking cousin or whatever. If I'm up there doing that shit, horseshoe balled, it doesn't work. I can do some of the same jokes, but no one's going to give me the same grace because now I'm just some fucking old dude.

You know what I'm saying? 100%. Like that's just how that goes. And it's just a perception. It's a bummer. Like just with this hat on, it's like, oh, what's up? Just Mani being Mani. Take that off.

It's like, oh shit. You want to do my taxes? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's just different. And I've also, the thing people don't understand, I've been, I was going bald at like 22. Yeah. I never really got to enjoy having hair that much.

Yeah. It just started like a. It was under a football helmet for the other part of my life and shit like that. So like. I guess just like I've never once even thought about you being bald. Yeah. I always. And I've always worn a hat as a comedian because when I was 23 and 24, like, it was, it was weird when I didn't because like I would be talking about these very.

very young things, but I looked old as fuck because I was going bald up top. And I just didn't make sense. So I wear the hat. And then that's just who I am now. And I don't know, maybe when I have kids and shit, I'll fucking start, you know, like, oh, whatever, we can just do this. But like right now, just fucking 31. Nah, I just, I don't feel like going straight to being the ring balled fucking old

professor looking dude. Like I would look like a professor. No, I wouldn't. I'd look like the dude jerking off in the subway. That's how I'd look like. but like you know and i'm just straight up if we you know we get another book dealer show or something i just get fucking hair plugs it's a thing i don't give a fuck i know people make fun of me at first like look at me you got fucking hair plugs i don't give a shit i just want you to do whatever

makes you happy so like i guess that's my i guess that's why i say that because it doesn't matter to me like i was going to get new teeth if you want to wear a hat for whatever thing and i always do and i always do like some people wanted to make a comment about like oh you're going to let him wear a hat for the way and I'm like um I don't care whatever he wants to do like whatever your response should have been the more accurate well he's going to anyway so I may as well be okay with it no no my thought process was if he wanted to me to wear a super tight dress and I felt fat in it I would not want him to do that so I'm going to let him do whatever he wants to do to make him comfortable yeah I was but I say like why would yeah why should I why should I

hate my wedding. Yeah. And I would have hated it. Exactly. So I wanted you to do the thing that you want to do. And I would always say that, like say that till forever. Like, I don't care. Whatever makes you happy.

I don't give you her hair. But that was my point. I didn't want you to feel like self-conscious about it. Like that was my wish. For sure. For sure. And again, I know that you don't care. I appreciate that.

But that is not what it's about at all. No, I mean, I get it. And number three, I'm sure you're dying to say whatever this is. Number three would be, this would definitely be like at home and a personal thing. You wish I knew how to use a screwdriver. The hamper. Oh, the hamper, what's the hamper? To use the dirty hamper.

I do use the dirty hamper. No, you don't. Well, I do. The amount of times I find the clothes to the side of the hamper or on top of the lid of the hamper makes literally no sense to me. Here's why it does make sense. I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just going to defend it. the ones on top of the hamper.

Defensive. Here's the defensive part. Sure. It is. It is. But you said, no, you said it doesn't make any sense. I'm going to attempt to make it make sense to you. I also preface this whole thing with, I'm not saying I'm right.

I'm not. Like, you're right. I should put them in there. Here's why it happens though. He rarely says those words. Here's why it happens. I say it all the time. No.

Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Here's why it happens. The reason that they end up on the. floor is for this reason. I get in bed usually with my clothes on. And then throw all the clothes off. I get in bed with my clothes on.

I'm sitting there reading or whatever the fuck I'm doing. And then I get super tired. And often what will happen is it's pants first. And I'll just carry them. I'm like, I'll just throw them over here. And then my shirt and I'm like, I'll just throw them over here. And I'll fucking, I'll just put them in there tomorrow or whatever. And then what happens is you get up.

You get up first. You get up for school first. And you do it and you go, I always have to do this. And the thing is is that no, you don't. I would have done it. you just got to it first, which is another thing. But the ones on top is usually, and then it's stupid, I guess. When they're on top.

You think you're going to wear them again? Tomorrow, the next day. Yeah. Because like, but then usually get something else. Maybe, sure. But like, yeah, in my mind, I'm like, I'm about to go to bed or something. And I'm like, hell, I just put these on at 5.30 to run to the store. And I haven't done anything else.

I'll just take them. Because if you notice, they're always usually folded up. Yeah. I'll give you that. They're folded up because I'm like, I'll wear this tomorrow and I'll just grab them right off the top of this hamper and then I'll be on about my day. So again, it obviously don't hit for you. I guess the thing is is like later on you didn't do that.

Sure, sure. And so that's just sitting on there. Again, I said that I was wrong, but you just said it makes no sense. I think now it makes sense. Okay. I mean, I guess it makes sense. But with the ones on the floor, that's literally just because you get up first. Yeah.

Like that's all that is. Like I would have grabbed them. weeding through clothes on the ground. Yeah, because I've, you know, got naked into bed and threw them over there. Or they're just at the bottom of the bed. Yeah, because I'll take my underwear off and just kick it to my feet. In the bed. I'll get that in the morning.

I'll get out of the morning. And then you usually forget about it. 100%. Yeah. There's no telling how many underwear and socks that are just in hotels across America. Like I'll come about, how the fuck do I lose so much? A lot because how often we have to buy those things. Yeah, so much.

I buy underwear and socks. like a motherfucker. All the time. All right. Well, we did it. We're here. We've done the damn thing. Were those all the questions?

That wasn't all the questions. If we did all the questions, it would take a lot of time. It would take three hours and I have a call tomorrow and you have to go shopping with your friends or whatever. I guess I officially made it through it. You did and you didn't have anxiety. I mean, maybe you did. Yeah, I mean. You had a couple drinks.

Usually wine helps. And again, I told you, we had questions. You didn't have to just carry stuff. Well, anyways, all right. Well, those are the things you change about me. I don't hit. I love him regardless. I'm a defensive, bald, sloppy piece of shit.

So, happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Everybody, and we will see you next week. Skew. Skew. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you, God. Bless you good night and skill. Jessica, this is the happiest day of my life. Right up there with the day I bought my RV and insured it with Progressive. Man, I love that thing. There are a million fish in the sea, which I'm reminded of every time I bring my RV to the lake, but I vow to love and cherish you. Just as much as I cherish campsites with full electric and water hookups.

I'm so sorry. Protect your beloved with an RV policy from Progressive. Take as little as four minutes to see what you could save at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.