wellRED podcast - #150 - THE LAST WELLRED PODCAST OF THE DECADE!!!

Episode Date: December 31, 2019

In the last podcast of the decade, The CHO gives his annual year end review, Drew and Andi reminisce on a road trip back home, and Trae and The CHO catch up over the phone and talk about their Christmas breaks and discuss their favorite things about 2019!Love y'all like Chicken... thanks for making 2019 the best WellRED year yet!wellredcomedy.com for tickets!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the skew universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore,

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Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that.

Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas.

Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

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What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Show. This is the last podcast of 2019, last well-read podcast. And here we go. We're going to do a rapid-fire recap. 2019 was a roller coaster year. It started out with unprecedented political corruption. And now, well, it's December. In January, the Democrats took control of the House where they promise to end the government shutdown, but without funding for President Donald Trump's border wall.

And since he was never going to actually do that anyways, and it was all a ruse just to ignite his base, I mean, really, who gives a fuck? And also, the Republicans increased their control of the Senate. So, hey, when some lose some. and then lose some more, and then lose some, God damn it, we just keep losing. In late January, the Supreme Court ruled that the Trump administration is allowed to limit military service for transgender people because here in this country, we support the troops by God so long as we know whether or not they have titties or a dick. And, of course, once they get back home and get addicted to painkillers and have a mental breakdown and are living on the streets, Then we just step over them and tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

The very boots stained with blood from a pointless oil war that we made them go to. But hey, at least they fought to preserve the integrity of our goddamn national anthem. You got to love war dramas. Let's see. On a lighter note, a shit ton of folks tied to the White House got indicted. R. Kelly finally got charged for sexual abuse because apparently it takes 15 years to confirm the authenticity of a pissed-touch. that we all saw. What else?

A whole bunch of boring white dudes announced their candidate's here for president, so I'm sure that will work out. Jimmy Carter's old ass built like 78 different houses with his bare hands, yet is still considered a pussy in 92% of red counties. And, oh, this is good. Kentucky outlawed bestiality prompting every chicken fucker to be like, okay, fine, hell, we had a good run. I guess we'll quit.

Mike Pence ordered NASA to fly people to. to the moon within the next five years, I assume, so he could be all by himself on earth while letting a male Scandinavian prostitute whip his bare ass and back with an extension cord. What else? What else? Oh, Jesse Smollett did something, and I'll be honest, I still don't think we know what. Notre Dame burnt down because the gargoyles took a break to protest Brexit.

Joe Biden announced his candidacy for president, and his first PR move was to make us question Barack Obama and Leslie Noakes' judgment. I mean, seriously, Joe, what the fuck? You could have won back in 2016, but instead, you decide to take four years off, get CTE, and then come back sounding like a Republican who wasn't able to say shit because for years he had a black boss and couldn't speak his mind for fear of being fired. Oh, shit, that's what happened. God damn it. Jesus. All right, we're only up to April. I'm already depressed. So let's streamline it. There were a bunch of school shootings, and we still haven't even attempted to do shit about it, which is the type of consistency and commitment to tradition that really makes America America.

Trump played a shit ton of golf, his son wrote a stupid-ass book, abortion got outlawed in Alabama because apparently you can change the law if it isn't about guns. And also, how are you going to shoot unarmed minorities if they aren't allowed to grow up first? Jay-Z became a billionaire, LeBron James spread his butt cheeks for China, Kevin Spacey put out some creepy videos, a bunch of billionaires got sad, and for the first time ever, our uncles felt bad for them. There were tornadoes and hurricanes and the ice caps kept melting.

And as I'm reading this, it's still golf weather in Georgia, but I'm certain that we're all going to be fine and we're not all going to die. And oh yeah, Donald Trump became only the third president in history to be impeached. But don't hold your breath because hope is a lie and only the darkness is real. Anyways, this podcast is brought to you by carve vodka. Go to carvevodka. and check out all the fuss about Jacksonville's first and only craft vodka distillery. Carve your own path.

Also, smokyboysgrilling.com. Go to smokyboysgrilling.com and get all the rubs for all you meets. You can go to well-readcom, and I wish you would, W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com, but we're not going to be back on the road until March. The dates will be going up there as soon as we have the contracts filled out. So just go to well-red comedy.com. sign up for our newsletter. That way you will know where we're going to be, even before my dumbass does.

We're only taking a break to work on some cool projects for you guys. I don't know if you saw the War on Christmas sketch that we just did for Comedy Central, but if not, go check that out on their YouTube and on our pages. We're actually going to be working on a couple more sketches for you guys. So there will be some content. And as always, the podcast will still come out every single Wednesday, and we'll be back in March, and we can't wait. Until then, you can still go to well-readcom.

check at our book the liberal redneck manifesto dragon dixie out of the dark and our album well-read live from lexington along with some pretty sweet t-shirts and whatnot but like i said we'll still be coming to you every wednesday here on the well-red podcast thank you to everybody who came to our shows this year and made 2019 the best year the well-red tour has ever had we had a blast i love all y'all and i hope to see you out there again next year um so for this podcast we were not all together. Me and Trey had a phone conversation and then Drew and his wife Andy also had a little phone conversation. I'm going to play you Drew and Andy's new year's portion of the podcast first and then we'll go straight to me and Trey and that'll be all she wrote for 2019. Actually I'm my

guess of shit this is coming out tomorrow. I know you fuck that I'm going to put it out early that way it's the it's the last podcast of 2019 and the first one you hear in 2020. How about that? Love you guys this your boy the cho and uh skee-hue they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fun they're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck that's our artist of the decade Colin Hay. What? Timeless.

Timeless. Timeless. Oh, Colin Hay. He follows me on Instagram. Good for you. Yeah, I know. It's really cool. We didn't have Instagram

at the beginning of this decade, did we? Yeah, I actually don't think so. Facebook was just starting at the beginning of this decade. It sounded like you said Facebook. That too. Facebook. Spacebook.

I remember when Facebook started. I was just starting college. It's a brand new thing, a whole new world. That's the whole story? Yeah, I mean... My story's way better. I think I've told it before, but it's not that great. It's just better than yours, because it has the beginning, middle, and end. I was at Tasha's dorm room, my cousin Tasha. She was at UT. She was a year younger than me. We were pre-gameing to go to a frat party where I would... show up with her and her like four best girlfriends with a six-pack of what was that cold steel

four eleven steel tall boys gross so I didn't have to drink any of their beer I wouldn't pay a cover when they tell me how to pay I would be like then my friends ain't coming in and they were all cute girls anyway that's not the story that's just me trying to look cool yeah we were pre-gaming and she was showing me Facebook and I was like what is it And she showed me. And then she was like, I'm talking to my friend. I was like, where's your friend? She was like, upstairs.

It made me so mad. I was like, what are you talking about? Just go upstairs. Why doesn't your friend come down here? And she was like, I don't know. It's a new thing or whatever. And then I immediately was like, this is going to suck. I mean, I didn't, I'm not saying I predicted Zuckerberg killing the election and Russians.

I'm not saying that. But pretty much, that's what happened. That's such a Drew Morgan thing to get mad at. To be completely right immediately about how Facebook's going to run or you're right. Even back then I had it. No, that you were like an old man in college. You were like, why don't you just walk upstairs and talk to them? Yeah, but we were drinking and she was cute.

So like, I feel like there's a way that I could young man this. Okay, I guess. See, you treat me just like Corey and Trey do on this podcast, and, you know, I'm starting to think it might be me. I love you. You're cute. You're cute old grumpy man. I wasn't being grumpy. I wanted to know why, and I said this is going to ruin, you know, social reactions.

Guess what? You were right. Thank you. You were very right. Oftentimes, you are right. People don't want you to be right. That's what I've learned. That's true.

In my last decade. Yeah, that's a valuable lesson. Are you going to change? I've been trying, but no. Because I've realized, even realizing that is just me being right. You motherfuckers don't want the truth. You can't handle the truth. so you're just going to keep being right.

We're in the car, yes, we're in the car, so you guys are probably hearing that. We're recording this on a phone because we're high tech. I'm going to do, me and DJ, DJ Lewis, are going to do on end of the Obisket this week. Listen to that podcast right after you get done listening to this one. If you don't know what I'm talking about, where the hell you've been?

Me and Gutter Bumpkin, number one most requested, a guest on the podcast. I think you're like number two or three, Andy. Have a new podcast Into the Abisket Spelled like it sounds Into the A and then the word biscuit, but it's all one word

Into the abisket. Yeah. We're going to do a top 10, you know, we're going to do a counting on the decade with predictions of the next decade. But if you're familiar with End of the Abisket at all, you understand it's not going to be very normal

countdown or predictions. It's not going to be like the 10 best albums of the decade. It's going to be like the 10 best farts we can remember. the best murders of the last decade. I got some good ideas for that. The 10 moments that sent us deepest into the void.

Who could pick 10? Yeah, a lot of choices there. It's been quite a decade. For us, especially. I mean, someone pointed out, you know, if you're a millennial and you're like, oh my God, this last decade's been crazy. Yeah, it should be. It's like your first, it's your 20s, essentially.

I mean, for me and you is our mid-20s to mid-30s, but... Yeah, we were... We became adults in this decade. Well, I don't want to go too far, you know? Well, we... Yeah, I mean, technically we became adults. We're adults the way Rhone State Community College is a college. Fair.

That's in the name. Yeah. No, actually, I like community college and us. I like us, too. I don't have anything against community college Oh shit traffic? Is that traffic? No I don't have. It's just a big rig

Swerving back and forth This is so safe. I love the we're recording while driving Why wouldn't we? If we died, do you know how many hits we'll get? Yeah, I guess I mean, I don't know if anybody would hear this If we got on a wreck right now and died Oh yeah, I better get to send the Corey in a minute Damn, that big rig, whoo, I felt the wind off of it.

Yeah, that guy is out of coming. control. He's trying to get home for New Year's. Last year on New Year's Eve, you and I were at the Grand Canyon. Yeah. It was so awesome. I cried. You did? It was so beautiful. If y'all ain't been to the Grand Canyon, you got to get there. It's fucking amazing. And it was covered in snow. Oh, man.

I liked it. Yeah, I want to go back. Hot take here for me. I liked the Grand Canyon. You're right there. too. I've enjoyed being home, you know. Yeah, it's been a good trip in Tennessee, but I'm ready to get back. It's exhausting being away from, you know, being away from your own place. Being away from home is exhausting. Being around your family 24-7 is exhausting. Yeah. Even if you get along with them great. And then your alternative is to like, you know, go out. If you don't live in a big city,

like we don't. You know, going out means potentially running into people. Yeah, there's not really much going out where we're from. True. I don't think we left our families. We went to Knoxville. I mean, other than that, like when we were in our hometowns, we didn't go anywhere else. Right, because we didn't want to run into, you know,

that couple that never left. He's in a Fox Racing T-shirt. She's in one of those sweaters with the monograms on him, like you see on Facebook. They got like nine kids, Braley, Rayleigh, Jay Lee, Braxley, Leanne, and Denham. And you're just like, good. I mean, sincerely good for you, dude.

It's great to see you. I just, you know, I don't want to talk about why I don't like Trump. You clearly know why I don't like Trump because you stalked me on social media. I have found within the last couple years that I'm at a place with my hometown where I kind of don't know anyone anymore. That is. And a lot of people don't know me. So it kind of rules. So you just come into the Walmart stinking with your half-shaved head and your nose pierced.

And they don't know who you are? Yeah. That's almost like, do they treat you worse? No, I get a lot of stares. Yeah. I get stared out a lot in my hometown for sure. But I also look a lot like... What is that?

I don't know, but if I can find a hole, I'll fuck it. I also look a lot like my... Like, I think if people know my brothers or my mom, they're like, oh, that looks like she's related to them. It's Samado. It's Samado. When they've got big round eyes and their faces shaped like by that's tomorrow. And big asses. Big old butts. Big old trucks.

That's that they follow you to your car and then you don't get into a big ass truck and you're like, well that ain't a tomorrow. Yeah. Just getting a sigh on. It's that hippie one we've heard about. Oh, that's the one that left. She's a liberal Aithin, godless witch Oh, good times Yeah, man, good times

Well, I don't I think, you know, I think we've contributed Oh, we were going to talk about where all we've lived In the last decade You want to just run through that You'll get a big breath and try to go through that Oh yeah, okay, so

Starting to 2010 In the last decade, we were in Boston Miami Knoxville New York City Knoxville again Los Angeles

Oh and sprinkled in there we lived in an RV On the river By the river We lived in an apartment So small in Boston It was really it was the attic of a house Yeah

We cooked on one of those hot plates Is it what they're called? Hot plate We shared a shower with a German lady. And we had... We're pretty sure the patriarch of the house was sleeping with her. But like, with permission. Like, I think we lived with a 70-year-old polyamorous couple.

Yeah, it was a weird, weird spot. But we lived in the attic that had been turned into kind of an apartment. I really... We lived in the attic of a polyamorous couple in Boston. Anyway, I don't know how we turned out the way we did. That's funny. But I loved that apartment. It was really cute.

We had like a little window seat and you could see Fenway Park. See the lights. See the lights of Fenway? I loved it. You should have wrote a song about that back then. The lights of Finway. The lights of Fenway shining. There's probably already a Bruce Springsteen song about that.

There are no Bruce Springsteen songs that I know of about Boston. Well, he's not from Boston. He's not from Nebraska either, and he named a whole goddamn out. I don't know them that. Wow. Fair. Do they love, does Boston, no, they're not boss people. No, they like the boss.

Yeah, but they're more Neil Diamond. They're Neil Diamond. It's weird how Neil Diamond do they are. You wouldn't expect that. They love Neil Diamond. I mean, but if they saw him in Southie and they weren't, and they didn't immediately recognize who he was, they just beat him up. That's true.

Look at this fucking guy with a sparkly pants. What do you think you're fucking better than me? Fuck your mother. I really love the story about, after the. Boston Marathon bombings, Neil Diamond flew to Boston and put on a free concert in Fenway.

He was like, Boston needs me. It's just a moment. Boston needs Diamond. And they did. They needed him. Yeah, Neil Diamond rules. What's your favorite

Neil Diamond song? I guess Sweet Caroline. Forever in Blue Jeans. I'm more of a Neil Young. Sure. I mean, yeah, you stink and you like farms or whatever. But we're asking about,

what your favorite Neil Diamond song is. I mean, I don't know many Neil Diamond's. I like Forever in Blue Jeans. And then I really like the monkeys song that he wrote. Like for the monkeys or about monkeys? He wrote it for the monkeys. The band. He probably wrote a few.

No, Neil Young wrote songs for the literal monkeys. It was in Shrek. Now I saw her face. That's Neil Diamond. That one, yes. But I think Forever in Blue Jeans, as a matter of fact, as soon as we get done here, I'm playing Forever in Blue Jeans.

going into 2020, forever in blue jeans. I think that was a Gap commercial when I was in high school. Probably. Yeah. You sold out. Yeah. Where was your favorite place we lived? Oh, we didn't finish the apartment.

I don't care why anybody would care about our apartments. What was your favorite place we've lived, though? Like favorite city, favorite house, favorite apartment. Any of it. Well, I really loved the backyard in Queens. That was my favorite outdoor area. that we've lived in. But probably our house in LA. I love it the most, I think. I really, really loved it. Which was your favorite Knoxville situation? Oh, no, I loved the apartment in Knoxville,

the last one we lived in. I loved it, too. I could be wrong, and I probably am. And if it's true, this was subtle. But I'm pretty sure you did a slightly different accent for each place you just talked about. I am. I'm a code switcher. That's true. By profession, actually. That's right, fellas. Get you one of them girls. It's one of them switchers. Code switchers. I'm a shapesifter.

That's creepy. There's a lot of things you're into that's creepy. Yeah. Snakes. I'm a creep. Okay. I think my favorite spot was the Knoxville apartment house with Brown in Miami. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That might sound confusing. Miami is a person. It's also a place we lived. Yeah, you're right. That was a really fun year when we lived with Brian and Miami in Knoxville. Our weed dealer was my buddy, Joe, who we knew from college. He was like a professional and got a kid now, so we won't say any more about him. But he used to come over, and Miami felt like he didn't like her. So she would give herself a humpback under her robe and then, like, put track marks on her arms.

And when he would come over, she would stare at him. And she said he would never look at her. I don't know if she thought he was sexist or he just didn't like her or whatever, but he wouldn't. And then she was right that time. He came over. He stole us some weed. We smoked out together. And she sat there and she ate crayons with a humpback on.

And then finally. And stared at him. And then like 10 minutes into her literally eating crayons, Joe looks over, high out of his mind and goes, what you got there? And she goes, crayons! No, she said it like. Cranes. And he went, all right. And then he left.

We never saw Joe again. That ain't true. Well, that kind of might be true. I don't remember seeing him much after that. Brian and Miami got engaged in that house. Yeah. And then they stole the swing. So we did pictures for St. Patrick's Day,

and Brian got dressed up in like all green, like a vest and a green bowtie. And he told Miami you want to do pictures in the swing. an opportunity to take their pitcher, and then he asked for to marry him. And then later he came back and stole that swing. He did. But I'm kind of glad because a bunch of douchebags moved in there afterwards. Is that real? Yeah, a bunch of douchebags moved in there.

Bo hated him who lived next door. We lost Bo this decade. We did lose Bo this decade. Rest in peace, Bo, I love you. Bo was the best neighbor we ever had. He looked like Snuffy Smith. He had like three teeth, a huge beard, and he laughed like this. It worked.

a joke. And one of the smartest hillbilly looking people. Kindest. And so kind. Aw. We lost Bo this decade. Aw.

We lost Bo. Bowie. Bowie. I'm trying to think. We lost, I think, yeah, we lost Geraldine. No. Did we? Yeah, because she got, she died after we got married.

Yep. We lost Drew's, Mamma, Geraldine. Ma'a, Dene. The coolest. Dene, Dain, Dain. The coolest fucking lady. Dene Dene Dene, I want to live 2020 like Geraldine would.

What would Geraldine do? She would get diabetes and continue to eat ice cream and drink tea every day until the doctors, they don't know what the shit they're talking about. I mean, she would not get another boyfriend, even if he had a golden pecker, but she would, and I quote, fuck a couple of them. Yeah. She'd slap a cop. She did that once or tried to.

Dyer hair red. I don't think you should live 2020 like Geraldine did. I just mean like being a badass and doing whatever the thing. fuck you want dancing at church and shit yeah slapping people just because you want to being being out of the ordinary and where like you know what i mean like she was outside the box so that's different for you how fair that's fair all right i'm out we're out happy new year happy new year i hope everybody has a great 2020 oh yeah fuck trump we had him this this decade oh yeah fuck him That's a good note to end on Drew.

Love y'all. Well, Red Nation, what's happening? This is your favorite disc jockey, Big D. We're going to get to Corey's portion of the podcast here in a second. Don't you worry. I know sometimes you get nervous. You won't hear your golden boy Trey Crowder, but I promise it's coming. But before that, though, we are so lucky to have one of our favorite bands sponsoring the podcast this week.

Y'all, it's Gypsy Speedboat. They asked me to play their number one chart-topping hit from 2019 for you guys right here. So to send you lovers into 2020 in the right mood, here is Gypsy Speedboat with their timeless classic, I can only come when I'm crying. Unfortunately, that is all we could afford. but I'm told for everyone to stay tuned at the end of the podcast for possibly a special treat from the boys over at Gypsy Speedbow. But anyways, without further ado, here is your boy the Cho and Trey Crowder.

Well, how's it going, Cho? That's good. Just, you know, we're doing a little, doing a little Christmas, post-Christmas cleanup situation. Yeah, that don't hit. We very shockingly knocked that out, like, the day after Christmas this year, which never happens. I don't know.

I don't even know how or why it happened this year, but it did. I don't see how that happened for you either. You had to have been fucking worn out from Nashville. Yeah, no, I was. I just, I don't know. I mean, well, you know, buddy, I wasn't, I wasn't ever captain of that ship. For sure. No, no.

I mean, I'm not really talking about. I'm not really doing shit either. I'm like, oh, no, you. go ahead. I got to record this podcast. It's really important because everybody's totally going to listen to it on New Year's Day. Yeah, I literally just do the same thing. Katie's in there doing some bullshit with our old couch. All right, so, okay.

We got a new couch, which I'm very pumped about, and it's arriving today. So our old couch, Kay is wanting to donate or whatever, which obviously, you know, yeah, that's fine. I ain't trying to just throw it out or whatever. You can donate to somebody. but she's she's very thoroughly like taking it

completely apart piece by piece in order to clean it and then has reassembled and it's been reassembling it before she gives it away and I just don't really understand that

you know if I'm no you're not wrong that it's nice right But, you know, I just sort of feel like, you know, I don't know. If you're like donating something, it's part of the understanding that it's right. Yeah, that it's as is. Yeah. That's part of how it works.

Not the shit on Katie, but I will for a second. When's the last time she just took that motherfucker apart so it'd be nice and clean for y'all? For the house. Right. Yeah. It's like that Nate Bargatsy joke when he was talking about, he was talking to one of his buddies. And he was like, oh, man, got my 20-year reunion coming up. I better get in shape.

And he's like, yeah, God forbid you get in shape for your family and people that you see all the time. Right. You know, like, why would you give a shit about your health with them? Well, she's in there than that right now. And I did the same thing where it was like, you know, I was like, I got to do the podcast. I got, you know, sorry, I got to dip out here. But she also does, she like, I think I've told you this before. she hired a cleaning service out here that comes once a week

which is obviously fine but she like she like cleans the house for the cleaning ladies and I just don't it drives me insane well she'll be like she'll be like in the kitchen she'd be like I thought you were gonna

you know put these clean dishes up or something or another and I'm like well what's the big deal you know she's like the cleaning ladies are going to be here in an hour And I'm like, yeah, they're the cleaning ladies. Like I don't, I just don't understand it at all. Well, there's a couple schools of thoughts on it. And I only know this because, as you know, my mother, you know, she had one of them. And still does, different one, Anna.

She's great. And Anna also comes over and cleans our house. And my mom, I remember used to, like, that she'd come on Friday. And so Thursday, we had to, like, tidy up the house. and I was like, I don't understand this. Debbie's coming tomorrow. And mom's like, yeah, she's going to deep clean the house, but we don't want it to look like shit when she gets here.

Yeah. I'm like, I don't, you know, and Amber does that too. She's like, well, Anna's coming tomorrow, and I don't want her to think that we're gross. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I'm going to give her the same check. I don't care if she thinks I'm gross. Yeah, that's, that's,

Katie's exact reasoning, too, and yeah, I never understood it. Because I'm like, uh, like, I do understand, like, if you got a bunch of like packages or mail or your kids toys or something laying around and in the way I understand like picking that shit up and putting it

in the room or wherever it goes so they don't have to like clean around it or they don't have to decide oh where do I set this thing at and then you've got to figure out where they put the phone bill or whatever like that type of shit I understand but with Katie though by the time she

gets been like may as well not even have the cleaner over. Yeah, right. Seriously. Every week by the time she gets ready for the cleaning ladies, I'm like, uh, to my man's eyes, the house is clean. Like, right, right. What are we paying them to come over here do now? Because you've just cleaned the house, the house looks clean. Well, it's like, as a, as a mom and someone out in California who's not from there, Katie doesn't have, uh, maybe a lot of people coming over all the time. So I think what you're doing is paying someone to come over there to see how well Katie claims. It fucking

seems that way. She just need someone to come over there and go, look what I can do. Well, I think you'll

appreciate this. I almost texted you all of this last night, but it's like, it was, it would be a lot to text.

And, uh, Lord knows you've never done that. I know. Well, but I also just thought it'd just be better done,

you know, via voice or whatever. So, have you ever baked bread. You know, I think one time I tried it drunk, but that might just be a dream. That's weird if I dream that. But I don't, not to my knowledge, have I ever knowingly baked bread.

Yeah, I hadn't either. But, you know, like, I'm fat, dumb, don't hit. You fat dumb, don't hit. We like, we're, like, like, I like cooking. I like foods, all that, bacon, all that shit. But I've never baked bread. as one of those things it was kind of like baking is a science and

cooking is an art I'm way more of an artist than I am a scientist yeah I agree with that completely I've always felt that way too I've never been much of a baker but in the past couple years I've dipped my toes in the like you know like I've got this lemon tree

I've done a big batch of lemon bars or that type of thing before like I've done I've done some of that but I never like just baked a loaf of bread or whatever. But Bishop loves bread, you know, as most children do. And especially people from Illinois.

Yeah. Bishop loves bread. So yesterday's something I got brought up and we decided me and him was going to bake a loaf of bread, right? So we baked this first loaf of bread. And, of course, by the time it's all said and done by, you know, that evening after the bread has been baked and we've eaten some of it or whatever, I am. on the internet looking up additional breads I can now try and make so I thought it was good I'm reading yeah yeah it wasn't like my blowing good it's just like and that's part of it though is like I'm trying you know I'm like I'm going to up my game now I'm just saying like I had already in my mind

gotten into bread yeah yeah yeah no by the end by the end of the day you're speaking to the right person. Right. Yeah, I know. Like, I was, so, yeah, I'm like, I'm like, looking up techniques and stuff and, like, that type of shit. And I'm, like, plotting out, like, okay, what's my next loaf going to be or whatever? And I'm, like, getting excited about

baking bread, because I'm a, you know, white guy in his 30s. But I then, I, at some point, toward the end of all that, like, last night, you know, I thought we read it a lot. Yeah. And I, I've, you know, checked, and there's a subreddit for baking your own bread, right, dedicated entirely to home bakers, right?

Not surprising, because I'm sure on Reddit, there's also a subreddit dedicated to fucking a loaf of bread. Yeah, right. I mean, there's literally a subreddit for pretty much anything you can imagine. So, yeah, it's not surprising, but it's got like 300,000 subscribers or something, and it's called Breadit, right? So I find out that Breadit is a thing, and I'm now further excited. And so I get on to the Reddit page and I sort it all by like top posts all time. Yeah. And as I'm going through these like top posts on there, a very, very clear and definitive theme emerges.

White women? No, no. It's funny here and more raven than that. It's that like this subreddit is about two things and two things only, but in equal measure. Sucking dick and baking bread. No, bacon bread and dealing with crippling depression. Oh my God. That's so fucking hilarious.

There's like there's this through line running through pretty much every post on Reddit. The comments always devolve into them. trying to talk somebody else off the ledge or whatever and, you know, dives back into bread for solace. But like, they're all, and it's, I don't know. Apparently, it's like a bit of a thing. Like there was this one of the top posts that somebody shared an article from the onion, right, that said, like, excitement turns to concern as Karen's home baked goods are brought to the office for the fourth consecutive day. that's hilarious

and you read through the article and it's like don't get this wrong Karen's great with her pastries and all this stuff but you know by day four we couldn't have a wonder if something was going on and then you know

she but apparently it's like anyone who gets like really into home baking or bread or whatever it seems to be is also intensely depressed I mean that makes a good bit

a sense to me, but like, well, first off, I don't want to minimize anyone's depression. I'm not going to do that. I suffer. No, no, no. I know you weren't, but I'm probably about to. I don't want to minimize anyone's depression. Lord knows I suffer from it. But I will say this, if your method, if you've decided that your method of coping with

depression, like if you go straight to baking bread, I think you got a good, like, you've got a good depression. You know what I mean? Like, if there's levels. right i think that you've i think you've got a chance at licking it is what i'm saying like if you're healthy enough to be depressed but also think you know what'll help me just to fucking get in there and just need some dough right then i think that you're at a tear of depression that i aspire to be at no i agree that that's a good point actually but yeah they were like apparently it's like it has to do with yes the kneading of the dough but also it's like an allowed

and delicate process that demand your attention. Yeah, which takes your mind off of stuff. Which takes your mind off of stuff. And then at the end of it, there's a product that, like, you have created from nothing, which gives you, like, sense of accomplishment or whatever. It's for barren women. It all just, like, yeah, it really does check out. But it was just so raving for me.

because like, that had never once entered my mind. Like, oh, this might be good when I'm, when, you know, my depression is really cranked up or, you know what I mean? You're like, this would be good for me to like keep my mind off shit because I've been, you know, because my depression's been worse lately or any, like, none of that ever crossed my mind. I was just like, all right, I'm about to get really into bread, you know. If I'm depressed, I just think making bread or eating bread, not making it. Right, of course. But yeah, but I'm just saying, like, I was just genuinely interested in this new, like, potential hobby.

And then to find out at the end of the day that this is apparently the official hobby of depressed white people or whatever, it just fucking, it just cracks me up. Well, again, I'd say depressed white people with a little bit of money. Maybe. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think that's another upside, too. I mean, if you think about it. It's not that expensive, yeah. No, I mean, because, like, you know, peasants.

bread and water bread is like you know I think that's they also they also get very very into bread on there

obviously yeah are you filled the press try making gruel right well I went I ran across multiple comments on there

that would go into this long wind it's like owed on the histories and virtues of bread basically like yeah yeah of course

They'd start diving into the, how, like, you know, bread was a big deal in the progression of human civilization precisely for that reason because it was relatively cheap and, like, you know, more people could afford to, like, not starve to death because of bread or whatever. So apparently there's a bread Bible show, if you're interested. I am. I don't remember the order of the words, but it's flour, water, salt, yeast is what it's called. Okay. It's kind of like that.

What's that acid fat, salt, acid heat? Yeah, yeah, it's like that, but it's a bread and it's flour, water, salt, yeast, or whatever. That shit legit changed my life,

by the way, the salt, fat, acid heat. Yeah, I never read that either, but I should, but yeah, it's flour, water, salt, yeast.

This is like that, but for just bread. Yeah. This is all kind of checking out to me now because, like, in my life, I've known a lot of bread,

women, especially because I, like, from the church or whatever. And now that I think about it, every single one of them had the type of husband that they would need to distract themselves from. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like they had that type of relationship where it's like, oh, you know, she just loves bacon bread, gives her a sense of purpose. And like, that's, yeah, no, that's. So, yeah, you should keep doing this, I think.

I mean, I do still want to keep making bread. I just like, yeah, I mean, you know, I just, I really like cook all types of cooking. And like, anytime I find like a new thing, see, in my mind, that's what's going on with me right now is like, I've done this before with plenty of other things too. You know what I mean? Like, I find a new thing in the cooking world that I haven't ever really fucked with. and then I venture out onto that limb for the first time. And then I've done that before and be like, ah, fuck this.

I ain't about this shit. Or I'll be like, all right, I want to do this again and get it right next time or whatever. And then I just sort of get into it. I'm with you. As you know, this past year, I got super into broth. Right, yeah. I went to, like, for the first time ever. Like, I'd always heard that, you know,

I used to have that joke about ramen noodles and blah, blah, blah, blah. I ate ramen noodles as a kid, but, like, they were. were, you know, very much just the top ramen fucking 50 cent power held cheaper than that packs. And so when I saw these restaurants that had it, I didn't realize that it hit first and then they made the instant things. I thought like the instant, that's just what ramen noodles was. And then there was these asshole restaurants that were like, oh, shit, well, we're going to,

you know, just make it fancy. And it kind of pissed me off. And then I had it. And I was like, well, goddamn, this is my shit. And I started making broth. And, yeah, I mean, I haven't, I'm not as smart as you. wear like in a lot of ways but uh like i didn't when i started making broth i didn't go all right let me investigate how to make better broth i just like made 35 batches of broth

well i think i think there's like i think there's two different kinds of home cooks basically and that's me and there's you yeah i mean i think what you did is also very very common and that's how a lot of people approach it but i'm very much the other type i start like diving into like almost the goddamn science of it or whatever. Right. You know, why I fucked it up and tried to make it better the next time. Well, it's done with me. Like, I should, like, Amber found, like, a ramen recipe the other day, and it was like,

oh, yeah, I should have been doing that the whole fucking time. I can just take this and then add more stuff to it instead of just, like, literally trying to figure out a centuries-old fucking thing at my house in Chickamauga by myself. Like, of course I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. But we, I made some broth last night. We got an instant, you know what an instant? You know what an instant pot is? Is Katie fucking have one of those?

If it's a thing you cook with, then no. Right, right. Okay, well, yeah. But do go on. I'm interested. Okay, you should be. So the instant pot is like, it looks like a crock pot but acts as a pressure cooker. You're in pressure cooker like Maimot.

Oh, Maimaw swears by her pressure cooker. And that's another thing I never fucked with those because they always was, you know, that was, dude, that was like old magic to me. me. Yeah, me too, because like, they can explode and stuff. Right. And so I found out about this, Amber kept telling me this instant pile. Oh, my God, it's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And because, okay, it's kind of like, you know, I said, like, I never, I'm real bad about this. I was like, my sister was a big fan of Stunarchy. And because her and all her friends were, I was like, well, y'all are all stupid, so there's no way this will hit for me. So when Amber, Amber is in the same vein of California. Haiti in terms of cooking. So when Amber starts talking about this cooking contraption, I made it and like, well, if it's something that would hit for you, then it really don't hit because I don't like taking the stupid white women ways out.

Like, I like to cook and do, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I started fucking with it. And last night, I made, I was able to make in one hour a broth that normally would have taken me like at least five or six hours, and it was amazing. if it's essentially a newfangled type of pressure cooker, then I know that I'm into it. Because again, I've always been scared of pressure cookers pretty much

and I've never even tried to unlock them. But I am aware, though, of, you know, what they can do. So, yeah, a, like, simpler version of that. Yeah, the simpler version of that, it's got all the buttons for, like, all the pressures and shit and, like, yeah, man, I just, like, I didn't look up nothing. I just threw a bunch of chicken and a bunch of steak and a bunch of vegetables and some water and put it in this thing. Hit high pressure for an hour and then boom, I had insanely tasty broth.

And I am also, coincidentally, very depressed. What's, what, you said a man ago that that book changed your life or whatever. Yeah. I mean, I know that book was like a cultural phenomenon. I've heard a lot about it. It's kind of weird. I haven't looked into it more since I am into cooking or whatever. But why was that such a big deal and why it's so hard for years?

Well, first off, it's one of those things where you're like, no shit. Of course those are the four. Like when you think about every food, like pizza, pizza, salt, fat, acid heat. You got your fat from your cheese. You got your acid from your tomato sauce. You got the salt, like, and then you heat it up and that's what makes it fucking good. It was really what changed my life was just the. acid part and how yeah i should every single thing i make should have some form of acid because that

blends everything together and rounds it out and just like i've been i've been into pasta for a while which that's the new thing i'm doing in 2020 is i just got a i got the attachment for my um mixture that you can make your own pasta in because that's like i i love making pasta and like around around where i'm from when it when i make pasta folks come knocking like i do I do a real good fucking job at it. But I feel like a hat because I've never, I go and buy the really good, like, they were just made at the whole foods or whatever,

noodles. Me too. I know exactly what you're talking about. I've never made my own either. And I'll try to get the fancy ones if I'm trying to do it up big or whatnot. And also, Joe, you're about to get into making your own pasta?

Yeah, I know. What is pasta, but long bread? It's just long, slippery bread. That's all it is. I used to call, I used to call noodles slippery biscuits when I was drunk. Yeah.

But anyway, go on. Well, I've always felt like a hack because I didn't make them. But then I'll watch like, you know, I take some classes online and it's like Gordon Ramsey shit or whatever. They don't, he don't always be making his own shit. He just buys the really good stuff. But like, that's going to be my new thing. But what I meant with the salt fat acid heat, I've been making pasta for a long time.

It's always hit. But I have recently started no matter what, every time I finish my pasta, I had a squirt, at least a half a wedge squirt, a lemon juice to that shit. Yeah. And dude, like, not in date. Like, it's the difference between, oh, this is pretty good, but I probably could have got it at the cheesecake factory to, holy fuck, who's in y'all's kitchen?

This shit is, I don't even know what I'm tasting. It's so well-rounded and great. Lord, this has been the whitest goddamn podcast. Yeah. I knew, I mean, I knew since I brought up the bread thing to you that it would go this way, which, but I mean, that's for me. But basically the whole thing that changed me about it was like how to, like if you fuck something up in the kitchen, how to like, okay, is it too salty? Add a, you know, a little bit more fat.

Is it too not, you know, add a squirt of lemon juice, round this bitch out? Like everything should be. You can also use a bit of vinegar, right? Yeah, absolutely. Like you got a red sauce, you know, like a little bit of, you know, like a little bit of balfouric or red wine vinegar or something. And there was just whatever vinegar you got, just a little bit. to even it out like you were just saying with the lemon juice. And not that we're doing,

this is an official plug, but since this is the end of the year podcast and we're doing like maybe right now sort of our Oprah's favorite things, if you don't want to read that book, you can, they have the series on Netflix, salt fat,

acete, which is fucking amazing. If you want to impress your wife, and it's so fucking simple. That's the thing, is like a lot of it is really simple. That was my main thing. That was when I kind of turned a corner with cooking, which I think is what you're saying with that book, even though I never read that book, but just reading a bunch of different shit all at once over the year.

Reading a bunch of different shit over the years when I sort of put it together that like, do less, do less. I was always doing way too much. Me too. I thought that that's what made shit better or made shit fancy or made it good or whatever. And then I, yeah, when I realized like, no, in cooking, like, less is absolutely more. that's when all my shit really elevated. Like if you keep butter and also some kind of hitting type of oil, you know, dealer's choice. But you keep those things, salt, pepper, sugar, and, yes, some kind of acid or whatever.

If you basically keep the things in your kitchen, you could pretty much make anything hit. And with most things like vegetables or steaks or whatever, most meats, I mean, just oil, salt, pepper, as far as seasoning goes we'll hook it up well really the most important thing that I've learned and now admittedly now that I have a little bit of money because we've been doing well

if you got a good ass cut of meat yeah that does most of the heavy lifting for you like when you know I as a kid or like in college or not in college age I always say when I was in college I can't fucking go to college but like you get those like shitty steaks at the at the grocery

store for like you know 10 bucks for like seven of them. And you've got to like soak them in Dale's sauce to make them even passable. Right. And it's like a whatever. But dude, you get a fucking big ass nice rabbi from your local butcher. Dude, just salt, pepper, cooking some hot ass old, you're good to go. Yeah, right.

That's up. Yeah. Don't be, don't be scared of it. Crank the heat up. Cere that motherfucker. Oh, yeah. And by the way, you can do that in the instant pot, too. It's like a steak?

Yeah. Like when you make a, like if you make a roast and. Like if you're making a roast in the crock pot, you'd just throw the, you'd have to shear it and then throw it in the crock pot. But the instant pot has a burner at the bottom that you can crank up all the way and actually steer your shit and then just leave it in there. It's wild. Well, that all hits. I know we were supposed to be doing some kind of like, at least ostensibly an end-of-year thing. We still can.

What do you have, do you have things in mind for that subject? Because if so, go ahead. Maybe you'll get me going. Well, you know, the literal, I'd say biggest thing that happened this year, politically at least, was by far the impeachment. But that was this past month. There's been a lot of things leading up to that. Yeah, you could literally do an entire standalone podcast series with like 25 episodes at least an hour long. Yeah.

The saga. Yeah. The political saga. 2019. Yeah, Slow Burn will do that one day and it will roll or be super. I'll probably not listen to that one, honestly. Like, listen to, listen to the slow, do you ever listen to Slow Burn? No.

So it's a, it's a podcast where basically, like, the first one was about Watergate and they took everything about water. Yeah, I'm heard of that. Yeah, they took everything about Watergate. They made it into eight episodes. It was great. Then they did it with the Clinton scandal and it was great. And I love listening to those because, like, I mean, I think. I was alive for the Clinton scandal, but I was a fucking,

the only thing I knew about the Clinton scandal was from Saturday Night Live and my dad being like, hey, you know, they all suck, but whatever. You know, president, you don't understand, son. John Kennedy was getting his dick sucked by everybody. Nobody gave a fuck. So, like, that's all I. So I can go back and listen to those. I don't think, I think that in future years to come, whenever there is a Trump slow burn,

like after all this shit is over, I really just want it to be over. And that's not going to happen. Yeah, no. I mean, God, they're still going to be. Right now for sure. It would have to be like 20, 30 years in the future. And they'd make like a, you know, like a big budget Hollywood movie about the situation that I, but it, but yeah.

I mean, first one of those will come out before he's even out of office probably. Oh, for sure. I mean, it's being worked on right now. Right. Yeah. out and I not yeah I'm with you I don't I'm not trying to plug with that shit yeah and I'm not and I'm not I'm not trying to be the the you know the affluent white dude who none of this matters too so fuck it I don't want to hear about politics because I can't stand people like oh I just can't I just can't stand politics

you know keep your politics off my page I'm like dude first off everything's politics you know what I'm saying like it's all politics and I guarantee you if it's politics you agree with you wouldn't give a fuck to hear about it but it's just like, God damn it, when this is over, I want this shit to be over for a minute. Yeah, no, there's a huge difference. Everybody knows those types of people. Honestly, frankly, some of the ones that I have known,

I have been personally grateful that they don't engage in politics, if you know what I mean. You know what I mean? Not all of them. I've got, I've had other friends that I've been like, well, that's real shame, buddy. Because, like, you know,

you got a good head on your shoulders, generally speaking, and you're a good dude or gal, gal so you know it probably would be better for us in general if you were engaged but I also have known people I find out like I don't really broke with politics and all but like well that's probably a good thing well if you did I got a feeling I know how you feel about shit most I'm glad to have you on the sidelines well I hear you but I find and I could be wrong but this is obviously anecdotal. But most people I know that don't actually fuck with politics have never once said,

I don't really fuck with politics. Because that in itself is them engaging in some sort of political conversation. Like most people I know that say, oh no, we don't, we don't let's not talk about politics. They just mean, hey, I know that you think different than me and I don't want this party to be ruined. Yeah. For example, like I, I constantly get in trouble. at my folks, or I used to at least, my folks' household, because I'd be like, all right, Corey's going to come in here and fucking start arguing with everybody. And the deal is, anytime we've ever had Thanksgiving or Christmas, like, with our combined families and shit, it's usually like 30 to one, and I'm the odd man out.

I've never want to talk. That's the reason I don't want to talk about it is because I'm going to get ganged up on, right? Yeah, right, of course. So, like, what will happen, and I'm, especially now, because I swear to you, I sit there, stone face people can ask me something and I'm just like, hmm, good mashed potatoes, right? You should I sit there and just hear all this bullshit. Everybody's sitting there talking about politics and blah, blah, blah, blah.

I would weigh in with one opinion that was insanely contradictory. Everyone would get super fucking mad and go, God damn, we didn't have to make this political. I was like, y'all were. And I just chimed in on the other side like that we were at Christmas the other night. And it wasn't really that bad. It was just one thing. But like, so dad, they were exchanging prayers.

presence and dad mom got dad a pair of fucking Trump socks for him to wear and so dad picked him up he's like oh hell yeah he goes oh you know I think these were actually meant for Corey ha ha ha ha ha because he knows I hate I didn't say a word I was like yeah ha open the presence yada yada yada they're in there they're not really talking about politics too much but they are talking about like political correctness and blah blah blah blah and i think don junior's book triggered got mentioned or something like that and I'm in the other room as soon as all this happened I left the room Because again, every time I engage, even though everybody's been talking about it for 30 minutes, all of a sudden it's, we don't really want to talk about politics, Corey. So I left the room and I go in there and I'm just reading my comic books, but I can still hear them.

And I heard, I think it was my mom, say something like, you know, I'm not saying that they're the best people in the world, but it seems like Donald Trump's kids could literally cure cancer and somebody would find something wrong with it. And I just screamed in the other rooms. there's no way any of those goddamn dumb fucks are curing cancer. And then all of a sudden it was, we don't want to talk about politics. So, again, I don't think that people that say they don't want to talk about politics, what they mean is, I only want to talk about politics if every single person in this goddamn room is 100% on my team.

And then it's not politics. It's just we're talking about the way it is. Yeah, right. That's definitely true. And I'm just saying, and I know you know these people, I've known people. I've known people that like I've just known them and been around them enough to know that like

they don't fuck with Right Well my wife is that way Right right there you go And I'm saying And I don't know I think it depends what state you're in probably But in my opinion

I don't know I'm kind of inclined to think that mostly comes out In the wash Because like you probably right I think it kind of goes in both directions Like I've definitely known people on both side People that you know Selfish I don't know if it's selfishly or what

whatever, but I'll be like, well, that's kind of a bummer because I know that if you did, you'd be a liberal and that'd be good for my side. Right. I've also known people like that in my head, I was like, well, that's probably a good thing for all of us that you don't, that you don't give a shit or engage at all. And I feel like across the whole country, that probably is pretty even. Yeah, it probably does. And when it's, when someone's legitimately sitting there not engaging in politics, I just don't notice it because it doesn't piss me to fuck off. And those are the things that I pay attention to. Um, well, I don't, well, you got any like, uh, you know, type of the,

top of the, type, or what's the word? End of the year list type shit. Here's the thing that hit for me really hard. Oh, I would love, I would love to talk about things that hit for me very hard this year. Uh, my favorite, I would say that my favorite movie this year, my favorite movie experience at least, that's, I think that's different in a way. Like, I know, I know that there's better movies than eventually. Avengers Endgame, but Avengers Endgame was, without a doubt, my favorite movie experience of this year.

Yeah, it's hard to compete with it if you think about everything that led up to it. Also, you know, it's wild, it's wild when you think about, we're living a really wild time all around, but also just in terms of entertainment and pop culture. It's a really wild time. It's great. It's great. Yeah, it is great. There are downsides to it, but overall, you know, on board, and it is for me.

but like the fact that like three different massive cultural phenomenon like franchises or at least you know franchise primary storylines

or every you want to put it all came all came to an end this year as wow you mean you mean the Skywalker arc you mean the Avengers arc and what's the other one well the other one's on TV

but it was easily as big of a deal Yeah, Game of Thrones, yeah. And, Yeah, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, and Avengers

all ended. The main storyline ended all of this year, which is pretty nuts. Yeah, and of those three, in my opinion,

end game stuck the fucking landing. Dude. And I mean, obviously, obviously if you compare those three, but like,

in, like, I talk about, I don't know, man, I don't know if I've talked about Avengers end game

enough in the sense that I know there's a lot of people that had problems with it as you're going to have with everything. But like, man, like if you, especially if you look at what they did, like, you know, 10, 12 years ago, like, all, all building to this shit. It's unbelievable. It's literally unprecedented. Like, nothing like that has ever, ever even been remotely close to attempted in, you know, like the world of motion pictures. I mean,

except for kind of Star Wars, but again, that's not. And that's a different. No, that's a completely different thing. Because that was like, we're talking 20 years between. And also, dude, it's very clear to anybody that's watched all the Star Wars shit that, like, they didn't have a plan. Like, like, with Avengers, you could tell that, like, yeah, everything matters. Obviously, they made some shit up along the way. They had to.

That's how that works. But, like, they, they, mostly Kevin Feig or, you know, the head honcho over there at Marvel Studios, like, he, he's. him and his people, his team, they clearly had a general like skeleton or general outline of what the primary narrative was going to be going back years and spanning all these different blockbuster movies and they never fucked it up in any significant way

along the way and that's fucking nuts whereas you watch Star Wars which is like you know, but was at least you know an even bigger cultural thing It was the first of its kind. It was the, you know, it was like it was the Avengers before the Avengers. Oh, yeah. The first of that shit, you can't overstate how massive of a franchise and like a pop culture entity Star Wars.

And yet it is so painfully evident that when Disney started out this, the final trilogy here to conclude the Skywalker saga, there's no doubt that they had no fucking clue how it was. was going to go when they started with episode seven. And then I'll defend, I'll defend them a little bit, especially only in comparison to the Avengers situation. The only defense I'll make is that Marvel, when they were making those movies,

had a just years, I mean, decades and decades of source material to mine from. That's true. That's true. Like they'd had, because like the way comics work is like, just because Captain America, you know, died at the end of this, doesn't mean in every single comic series.

That's how it goes. So, like, they were able to take a little bit from the Ultimate Avengers and the, you know, the Ascentia original. So, like, there is a little difference. They had a lot to work with. They could pick and choose. And Star Wars did have to make it up as they went. Kathleen Kennedy is, like, the Kevin Fee of Star Wars.

She's the equivalent. She's the person who's, like, the Star Wars overlord for Disney. She kind of defensively said exactly what you just said earlier this year, about that exact thing. She was like, well, look, we don't have these decades of, you know, source material to draw from. And, again, she was kind of like being defensive about it when she said it. But, like, Star Wars fans still flipped out because, although I will, like,

kind of back her up a little bit, Star Wars fans on the Internet flipped out when she said that because they were like, yes, the fuck you do, because there was just, there's years and years and years of what they called the EU, the extended universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's all... Of, like, books, comics, all that... Well, it was. It was all canon. But see, what happened was when Disney acquired Star Wars,

they, like, at some point officially declared that, like, all that EU stuff was going to be non-canon going forward for their things. But it's still, like, treated as canon by a lot of the fan base. And they were saying, like, even if it's non-canon, you can still draw from them, but it's, like, I think from her perspective, It's like, no, we made the decision, but that's still a dumb decision, in my opinion, to have made to decide we're not going to use any of that shit. You know, I don't know why you would put that on yourself. But, like, you can just tell, in my opinion, I was talking to my buddies.

We were watching football, a sports barter the other day. We got to talk about Star Wars. And I just feel like you can tell very clearly when you watch the new trilogy that, like, seven was doing its thing. setting up certain things or whatever and then and that was JJ Abrams and then eight was Ryan Johnson at the helm and it was like in eight it's like he was basically saying hey

fuck all that shit from seven yeah here's what we're on some new shit now and yeah which you can't do in a trilogy and then like well I feel like you could you could do it and it hit harder executed it properly and then also you got to conclude it in episode nine

but what happened was eight was like the most reviled of the whole series by the general fan base. People are like, oh, this ain't it. Fuck this. I would, like, I actually respect the fact that he tried to do some different shit because one of the things that... I liked the movie. Yeah, I mean, I did too, and I respected

that because one of the things that has annoyed me about Star Wars, and I think you got this in both seven and nine, it's like, it's just a rehashing of the same shit they've all done. Yeah. And like, I liked in episode eight that Ryan Johnson tried to do some new shit, but the internet

flipped out, and it was like, raped over the cold, so they fired Ryan Johnson from doing number nine and brought back JJ Abrams. And so then in number nine, it's like, you can tell the, they're like, hey, all that shit from eight that he was trying to do, fuck all that. We're, you know, we're back on this now or whatever. So it's like instead of a consistent trilogy, it kind of resets every fucking movie of the trilogy. Right. You know what I mean? And I actually thought that all that aside, when it was all said and done, that Abrams and them did a commencement. job. I agree. Even all of that, they did a commendable job, putting, you know, tying it all together or, or a result, with resolving it all as best as they could, given the jumbled fucking mess that they were dealing with up until that point. But still, though, overall, it just didn't really work for all those reasons. And I think, I think they were very also helped out by the fact that, in my opinion, they didn't have to be better than four, four,

five and six, they just had to be better than one, two, and three. Yeah, without a doubt. Because you know what I'm saying? Like, we all know four, five, and six rule. And then the prequels happened, everybody was like, oh, God, damn it. Star Wars is over. And then when seven came out, you're like, okay, was this empire? No.

But was it the phantom menace? Fuck no. Yeah. Without a doubt. It's great. And, you know, I mean, we won't give any spoilers away because I know everybody hadn't seen the last Star Wars. But like, by the time this last one came out, I had all.

already just made up in my mind like, look, this is what Star Wars is, and you either fucking like that shit or you don't like that shit. And that's totally fine. But if it took you until episode goddamn nine to realize that this is what Star Wars is, you're a fucking idiot, and I don't really give a shit about your criticism too much. Yeah. And it's also so true. Like, you know, it's a cliche about them now, but it's true that, you know, that no one

hates Star Wars as much Star Wars fans. And I do think that that seems to generally be the case even more so than other things. Game of Thrones that went that way towards the end. But I still, like, you know, I made my own Game of Thrones series for this last season. And I've told you before, I know you know that it's true. I didn't know, like, when I decided to do that, I didn't know how that shit was going to go. Like, I expected most of that to be me being like, God damn, how rad is this, y'all? I didn't know that it was.

But once it started. happening and I already committed to making my own recap series. What am I supposed to do? Act like it ain't not hitting. You know, honest to God, I mean. I never intended to be one of those guys just like shitting all over something on the internet because that's not generally my style. Other than, you know,

you know, actual things that literally deserve to be. Right. Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, you're supposed to hold truth to power. You don't have to hold fiction to it. Right. You know, but the thing is like, you know, inarguably,

that's why your series pop right because that's just the nature that's just the yeah you'd been shit on whatever yeah nope it wouldn't hit for nobody well and also if this if the last season had of just hit real fucking hard

and you didn't have to act at all that also I mean wouldn't it hit it's hard no just because and it sucks but the sheer nature of humans is that we when we click on something

we're like oh I won't see the dirt yeah it's like that I'm not like like that. For a while about like shared like contempt or whatever. Like people like people love having shared interest and shared, you know, fandom, whatever. But they also love having shared, you know, contempt or disdain for something. When you can come together with other people and be like, man, this is bullshit, right?

And bitch about a thing. There's a very communal aspect. Yeah. And I just kind of, I'm going to be hypocritical here because I just said that I try not to be like other people in that regard. But like, let's say hypothetically, I just went and thought. movie that's super hit for me, which happens because I see about 70 a year. If I see a movie that super hits for me and then I'm scrolling through Twitter or Reddit

and I see an article where someone has praised the movie, I'll be like, I'll just see the headline and be like, yeah, movie did hit. But then if I see somebody that was like, this is the biggest fucking piece of garbage in the world. I'm like, oh shit, let me get on here and read everything this motherfucker said about it. Right. Yeah, and that's like that, that whole dynamic we're talking about is what the internet thrives on, you know?

Oh, yeah. Like, people know that, and they, like, that's what clickbait is a lot of times. But, like, everybody says, oh, man, the Internet is just the worst place. I'm like, I hate to tell you, but the Internet's just us, buddy. Yeah, it's true. That's like, we're just seeing everybody now. It's the Ed of Civilization. Yeah, that's just the Internet is us, and that sucks.

But the, and also, like, it's just, it's just objectively true, man, that, like, it was my series was anybody. it's easier to be funny about a thing that is not hitting you know like right you could probably make a funny a video that is funny about like in game if you wanted to but it would be way more challenging it'd be shorter and it you know like it's just it's way easier to make something funny that is already like not hitting in the first place and it's uh funnier in general you know because people are watching those episodes and they're sitting at home going like what the what the fuck was that you know right like if you pointed out and make a joke about it then you know it's just easier to do it that's just comedy in general I mean and I'm saying this because I attempted to do it I'm well I wrote it in my notebook I say attempted but like when's the last time you heard a comic on stage talking about how great his marriage was right yeah you know what I'm saying and like I thought for a while like that would be funny to go up and do a whole bit where it starts off with like the you know my wife and then boom it's like what Samberg did in that roast when he like nicely roasted everybody it was funny when he did it it's not the thing

that's not the thing that i do but that's actually like i thought about that specifically i had that that bit about me and katy hating the same things and it's all like that whole bit is about how like katy is perfect for me and i need katy around and all this shit and it's because uh it's not because i thought of it independently but it did occur to me and it's like you know i liked that it was not me, bitching about the, you know, the economy, making marriage jokes or whatever that it was like, for sure.

Because that is easy and that's the thing. But like, but also it's just like, you know, write what you know. No one has perfect, anyone who's married, like I don't care how great, I mean, I'm totally happy in my marriage. We have a great marriage. I've started

this episode with you off bitching about Katie. Yeah, and me too. It's just the way that it is. man you know well here's the way I see it I mean I could be wrong first off in my opinion like when it's only comics that ever say this I've never heard just I've literally I was thinking about this yesterday I've never heard a civilian which is what we call audience members I've never heard a civilian go oh another bit about airports never never one if you've got a funny airport bit the audience will fucking love it

it's only comics whoever like oh you do you're going to talk about airports well like okay so you don't like it but these third 300 people really laughed because they also have been to an airport, you know. And this is a, it's not, I'm not doing the Seinfeld. Why don't they make the whole plane out of the, out of the black, like, if you do something new, there's no, there's only so many goddamn subject. And my point, like, so I did that, I had that bit for a while about me and Amber, uh, going to that Sandals Resort.

And it was like 12, 13 minutes and like, yeah, at its core, it was me shitting on her for being the type of white girl that wants to go to an all-inclusive, resort and for the most part it went really well a lot of people really like that bit but i do have some people who were like oh really you're just going to be up there shitting on women i'm like i'm not shitting on women i'm shitting on my wife i never i never once said all women do this but my wife certainly fucking does and if you don't think she does why don't you fucking live with her you don't know my goddamn experience yeah like that's my thing as a comic you should never go up there and just start making generalists i mean if you i don't give a fuck if you do as long as it's funny but like

making fun of your wife is not the same as shitting on women. It's just not. Of course not. I mean, it shouldn't be. We've all gotten those complaints before, you know, like, and yeah, no, of course it isn't. And I'm like, my wife did that thing. I'm a professional comedian. Was I'm not supposed to tell you that she did that thing?

Right. Yeah. I don't know, baby. What was your favorite record of 2019? Man, I don't know. I'm ashamed to say that I don't have one off the top of my head. I like Childers, new one. I love Childers, and I did really like his new one.

I just, you know, and this happens all the time for so many different reasons, but I like purgatory so much infinitely better, you know, because, like, I didn't, you know, it came out of nowhere for me. I didn't know shit about him. I had no expectations. or whatever, and then it just blew me away. Pergatory did. And then this one, you know, it was completely opposite.

I was like, this guy is the new dude. I cannot fucking wake to hear, you know, what he's got for us or whatever. And it did hit. It just like, I had unreasonably high expectations for it, you know. Yeah, which I don't think that's a bad thing to say. I mean, if someone, if I put out a new album next year and someone was like, I liked your first album better, be like, oh, cool, I did that one too.

So, you know, whatever. I enjoyed Sturgle's new one, but that was different from, here's how I feel about that one. I, you know, we took a bunch of mushrooms and we watched the movie, and it rocked. And I love that soundtrack. I haven't yet gone back and listened to the album, just the album. I mean, I'm right there with you. And with his other stuff, I literally, like, with, dude, Sailor's Guide, when that came out,

I literally had it on repeat, like, all day. But it's how I feel about it too To defend all these Artists who were saying Didn't hit as hard for us this year This year to me it's really my fault Because to me this year has been the year Of the podcast

Because I've Me too I just got into that medium It's like I love fucking music And now it's like I like music more when I'm at parties If I'm on a playing and shit I can't just listen to music anymore

Because the time doesn't fly by as much And I got to have Also I have found myself, I still absolutely love music, but I'm very much with you. I have, I've noticed that about myself recently, that I've, uh, I've just listened to music way, way, way less overall than, uh, than I used to. Yeah, I mean, and all I do now, I listen to, I listen to podcasts about wrestling. I watch wrestling and I read comic books.

Like I probably, I probably, I got back into, this year's been a, uh, I think 2009, was like or 2019 jesus 2019 was it was you know remember that episode of uh south park the member berries yeah yeah yeah i've had i've had i've had kind of yeah i've had kind of a that year where like i got back into wrestling super all this stuff that hit for me so hard as a kid and then i just kind of got out of it i just fell back into love with it and it was wrestling and comic books and i mean god dude i can't tell you how many hours of pay-per-views i watched this year, I've gone to fucking multiple live events, and I've also read probably, I don't know, 750 to 800 comic books, which I mean, they're very short reads, but still. So maybe, maybe,

I know that Isbel went back in the studio and he's going to have something in 2020, so maybe 2020 or I'll be back to music. Yeah, I mean, I'm right there with it, not with the same, like, interest. Once I was talking to people the other day about how, like, and I, it's weird. I, So I was, you know, fat, dork-ass nerd kid growing up, I fucking loved video games, obviously, loved them. And then I got to college and I would be like, and I still went out and partied and, you know,

was doing my thing. But I also would like, me and my, you know, me and my boys who also played it, we would play Halo. Halo. Yeah, we were Halo. We were, yeah, on the Halo side, not Call of Duty. But we would play Halo.

online, I mean, for fucking eight straight hours or whatever. We play it until daylight. Like, I was always like that. Then I got, so, I mean, I was into video games. Then I graduated, got a real job, whatever. I started doing stand-up comedies, not too long

after that, Eddie got pregnant, whatever, and I just completely quit playing video games entirely for a few years. Yeah, sure. Then my sons got old enough to where they could play some games, and I just wanted to, you know, just wanted to introduce them to, you know,

I want to see what, like, kids, video games were like nowadays or whatever. So it's probably a couple years ago, I'd say. And I, um, first things were like, uh, those Lego games, which are really, really good for, for little kid games, you know, which what they ultimately are. I started playing these Lego games with my sons and having a really good time with it. And it was, that sort of opened the floodgates back up for me. Like, it like broke the seal. and next thing you know, I'm back into video games fully,

which, like, I have, I go back and forth on, like, you still there? Can we get cut off? Yeah, no, I'm here, baby. Okay, anyway. I heard something in the background a minute ago, and then it cut off, so I thought that maybe I'd lost you. That you heard something, which was me walking outside,

because we never have company ever. Nobody ever comes to this fucking house. but if I ever want people to come to this house, all I have to do is start a goddamn podcast. And then, and so I was running outside, and then as I ran outside, I turned it on mute, so you wouldn't have to hear the calamity. Okay, well, when you turned on mute, that's what I thought.

Yeah, I did all that to not be a distraction, and here we are. Well, you know, still, what you don't do. But anyway, I, uh, and, like, I think video games are fucking, they're only getting better and better. They're so, so goddamn rad now. a day and it's awesome. And also, like, I will argue with Katie about, like, if she thinks

the boys are playing, first of all, the boys only have one hour screen on a day, so off top, there's that. But, like, if Katie thinks they've been played to me video games or whatever, you know, I'll get all, I'll get my fucking backup. Like, you know, Katie, multiple studies have shown

the cognitive benefits of video games, you know, critical thinking, decision making, problem, solving, you know, whatever, this type of shit. I get defensive about it. But, but though, at the same time, I will sit in there playing a video game for a little bit, and I'll just start in my mind. I'm like, God, what are you, this, you're such a worthless sack of shit.

You know what I mean? Yeah, no, no, no. You ain't accomplishing nothing right now. That's fair. And I, like, there is, you know, what is, you know, moderation and everything. But, like, yeah, I don't buy that. bullshit when everybody's like, goddamn kids these days in fucking video games

are melting their fucking brains and shit. Number one, every single person who says that shit would have absolutely played HALA for goddamn eight hours if the 70s didn't suck. Right. And well, the 70s didn't suck, but like in comparison.

And like, dude, in the 20s, there was kids like didn't have shit to do so they just ran down the street hitting a poop with a stick. Like they would, they would have, you know, dude, if they'd have had Mario car, it changed their goddamn life. So, like, I don't buy that shit. Like, I do think that, obviously,

it's, like, you kids need to go outside and play literally just for the sheer fact that exercise is necessary. But as far as, like, they should, they should want more to be in the yard just digging a hole than they should want to fucking, like,

defeat Colossus. Shut the fuck up. That's so stupid. That's so goddamn dumb. On that note, just briefly, don't have to elaborate on them, but, you know, my favorite video games of this year in no particular order. The Outer Worlds is awesome. It's the people that made the Fallout games, but then they got fired by the, like, head, the Fallout publisher until they went and made a, they're on, like, Fallout knockoff, kind of.

But it's not a knockoff because they're the people who made the original games. So it's Fallout, but in outer space called the Outer Worlds. Star Wars, talking about Star Wars earlier. The new one? Really awesome game coming. out this year called Jedi Fallen Order that I thought was fucking bad ass.

And then on the like kids side, like the Nintendo, more kid friendly, I play with my boys side of things. Luigi's Mansion 3. Hell yeah. Hit really hard and yeah. And then indie games, it didn't come out this year, but my

favorite indie game of all times is a game called Dead Sales, which I keep going back to. So anybody out there plays games once recommendations uh those are mine i've started back a little bit not as much as you mainly because i think i don't have kids to play with like if i did i'd be like well i have a reason but i fall into the same trap as you like i'll be sitting there and i'll be playing video oh borderland three borderland three also hit really hard word i'll be playing video games for like two or three hours and i'm like god damn it you're wasting your shit whereas like

and sincerely this isn't a cop out mean you talk about what if i was watch three hours of like the Sopranos, I don't consider that a waste of time. No, that's what I meant. That's what I meant earlier. I know. I feel the same way, and that's what I mean. That's what I'm saying. Like, yes, because like, yeah, I don't get fuck when nobody says, yeah, you know,

some people feel like they're wasting time just watching TV all the time. But if you want to get into TV, like the way that we do, you, in my opinion, and not my opinion, most people in that will tell you, like, you have to, you have to, you have to make time to watch a lot of TV, which hits for me because I love it. Dude, when I... But with video games, I'm sitting there feeling like, yeah, like, it ain't that. I'm wasting my time with this. I had kind of, yeah, I had kind of thought, I'd always made that concession to myself about watching TV and movies all the time.

Like, in my brain, I'd just be like, well, dude, I've got to see how the sausages made, but I didn't know if that was actually true. And then fucking Andrew Wright said that, and I was like, oh, thank God. Like, it was my favorite thing to hear somebody that super hit, somebody that, no, did you, like, watching eight hours of good television in your line of work, like you should do that, like totally do that. No, you meet a lot of hitters in the TV industry who like, like make it a point to watch shit. Like at least a couple times.

Something brand new that comes out that looks down. Hey, try, hold up. Robbie just pulled up. Hey, I'm doing a podcast. What are you doing? Okay. Yeah, I'm doing this podcast, and then I've got to edit it,

and then I'll come over and we'll get hammered. all right buddy nice love you buddy uh Robbie who doesn't even live near me just pulled up and was like hey I'm about to smoke meat you weren't answering your phone you want to get drunk

well we've been at this shit for an hour anyway so we can grab your up what was I saying what was I saying I was just like yeah you'll meet a lot of people that like hit in the TV industry who like like make it a point to go out of their way to watch shit even shit that

they don't think will hit for them Right. They'll watch at least a couple episodes because they want to get, yeah, they want to keep their finger on the pulse of what, you know, people are making and what's going on out here. So, I mean, yeah, it is important. That's why. I mean, I'll watch shows that, I mean, only the first, like, I watch a bunch of pilots. Like, there's a lot of things I won't like go all the way through. But, like, you know, pilots, especially in our position, you, writing a pilot, maybe people don't know, is insanely different than even writing the second episode of that goddamn old product.

And so like I'll be watching a bunch of pilots that I know don't hit for me, but they were in that shows insanely popular. So I'm like, what the fuck am I doing wrong? Like I got to, you know, I got to be able to reach these kids. Yeah. But, you know, with video games this year, all I kind of, I got, I played, oh, God damn it, what's the Star Wars? And before that? It's the, um. Battlefront.

Battlefront. Battlefront, Two was the last Star Wars. I got Battlefront two. and the only progress I've made in that is now I've gotten to the point where when I'm playing on a team, I only get screamed at by 12-year-old Germans like three times. Yeah, see, that's another thing that like when I was playing back in the day before I quit video games for a few years. Back then, I played on the Internet all the time, almost exclusively. Every game I played multiplayer online, and I never do anymore.

Because I can't keep up. I said I would sit up playing it for eight hours straight with my buddies. Well, those dudes are still out there. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. The college kids, the teenagers now, but they're still putting those hours in. Oh, yeah. I can't hang with them.

I just don't even try it. That's why I play a lot of, it's Rory McElroy Golf. And like the game that I play came out in 2015, but they haven't made a new one since. Like they just haven't done it. So like, if you want to play Xbox golf, it's got to be that one. And I guess because they haven't made a new one in a while, there's less and less people still fucking with that. And so I can go on there and play online and fucking, you know, I can throw down. Yeah.

Because me and me and I had that game when it came out, got real good at it. And now it's just me and the dudes who like, you know, once every couple weeks, they sit down for eight hours and drink a fucking vodka soda and start hitting balls. but like, yeah, man, you get in here, like, oh, I'll just, I'll join this, uh, ranked session and just see how these guns work and then just dead and two seconds. Like it's, they're in that same. Yes, that. Yeah, I can't do it. Don't want it for me. Um, well, what else?

What was your favorite, what was your favorite well-read, uh, situation in 2019, tour stop or moments or what? I mean, we just finished the zanies shows in Nashville where they were like full on, you know, Christmas. like holiday. I'm going to exclude that because that will always be our favorite part of the year. Right. Okay. I just won't count that one because like that's just always going to be number one in my heart. This is also recency bias, but I had a whole lot of fun making our, the last, the catch that we made.

I didn't do. Christmas sketch that came out, like the process of making it. Yeah, I really, I had a whole lot of fun doing that. I don't know. Help me out. What up? Well, my two favorites. Little Rock, Arkansas for the very first time.

That was amazing. Awesome as fuck. I've loved that weekend. I was a big fan of that weekend because this is inside baseball stuff, but I feel like at this point, the remaining few listeners that we have on this podcast, enjoy the inside baseball stuff a little bit. That one was great for me because we had been, me and you at least, we talked about it. We felt like we were in the middle of kind of like a slump. Yeah, very much.

Like we, and, you know, some of it may have been our fault, but some of it was just like, we'd been working on this pilot, we'd been doing other stuff, we were having to take time off on the road, and when you don't flex those muscles, you know, it could not hit. And then also we just had a bunch of shows where we were in markets that, you know, we don't really hit in and we thought, God damn, man, do we just fucking suck? And then we get to Little Rock, Arkansas, sell out five shows, and I've been fucking happy ever since. No, me too. It's like a rejuvenation.

Rejuvenated, exactly. It rejuvenated me in terms of stand-up, and that has maintained ever since then. So, yeah, Little Rock was great. Little Rock was great. Also, yeah, this particular, this last time filming these sketches felt different for me because, A, we'd done two before. So I kind of knew a little bit more about what we were doing. B, I got to put you in fucking drag, which is like, that's the highlight of my career is when they were like, who do you want to play Miss Becky? And I'm like, well, that's fucking Trey.

And they're like, oh, what? I'm like, yep, we're casting a white man as the woman. Shut up. Just do it. This is Hollywood. And that was great. Being able to kind of be behind the camera a little bit, see things from a different perspective was great. Also, it's hard to beat.

Opening up for Sam Bush. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's a huge one. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Not just opening up. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Every single thing about that was just, that was after Little Rock, right? I man, I can't remember. It had to abound. It's weird because it was fucking cold there, but it wasn't,

but you know, it wasn't a cold weather month. It was like, no, it was just Colorado. But in my head, yeah, it was cold because we're up

in the Rocky Mountains. So I'm like, I'm conflating the time frames. Well, here's how I know it wasn't supposed to be cold in our minds

because we all brought our fucking Bonaro gear. Right. Like, I packed shorts and fucking T-shirts and shit. all wear these pants on stage.

Then I had to buy a Carhart jacket because it was snowing during my set, which was outside. Yeah, that was a truly magical experience for sure. Tell you ride Bluegrass Festival. First comedy they'd ever booked there in any capacity ever in the like half a century history of that festival. Sam Bush came to our like dressing room. Yeah, we were opening up for him. We had like, we had such a primo slot. I still cannot believe they gave us that slot.

It's stupid. And if we get it again, I'll pretend like we deserve it. But we don't. I never in a minute when I just, when we just knew that we were just doing it, I was like, well, boys, get ready to do stand up at one PM on a Saturday. I knew they only had one stage. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that. So I wasn't worried about like a tiny little side stage situation. But I very much thought we'd be in the middle of the day, you know, like sandwich between two, you know, like side project bands of other hitters that are like that type of thing. But no, we like, we were, we had the twilight slots on, you know, Saturday night, like, right before the founder and the, you know, the, like, annual. Mr. Teller, the mayor.

Miss, the mayor of the Tell Your Eye Festival, exactly. And I could not fucking believe that. And then though, we were, like, we were, you know, even more, like, sort of sweating it. Because, like, they were like, stand up or no stand up. understands that like stand-up is not good outside period ever for the most part you're outside people are standing up it's a festival scenario and also is not a comedy festival it's not only not a comedy festival they there's no comedy ever there has never been any kind of comedy at that festival a lot of people that go that festival they go every year so like they're not at all

they're the opposite of program like to pay attention and to laugh and we're not even musical comedy Yeah, right. If we've been funny by no players, it would have made sense. Everything about it was very much like, this is an honor and it's going to be a cool experience otherwise. But our actual performance part, though, is almost certainly not going to get because of all these factors that are just stacked against us from the outset. But then, that's not what happens. No. No.

It went really well. It went insanely well. Yeah, it was. and you're on that stage you're looking out over this park and tell you're out with the fucking snow cap mountains right there in the background. It's crazy. And just so everybody knows what those mountains are because I made this observation,

I was standing there doing the set looking at these mountains and I commented to somebody, I was like, man, those look just like the mountains on the fucking Coors Light can. And somebody's like, they are. They are. They are. It's just, this is from the behind view. The front is where they took the picture and I was like, well, I'll be goddamn, I'm a drunk. Yeah, no, that was awesome. No, you're right.

I'm glad you brought that up because, yeah, definitely, that was a highlight for sure. Yeah, that ruled. I hope that 2020 is better. You know, with this little well-read journey that we've been blessed to be on for going on, it'll be four years in, what, March? April and May. Bill went viral in April, first tour, was in first tour. stop was in May. And against all odds, in my opinion, every year has gotten better.

You know, we know the wheels will fall off soon, but hopefully not before 20. I'm anticipating it to be a good year. We're taking some time off to write on some projects, and we won't be back on the road until I think March and New Orleans. I don't know if those dates are posted yet, but go to well-readcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com, and you can sign up for our newsletter and then you will know where we're going to be sincerely before most of us do because we get emails like hey do you guys want to do this and we look at it and go fuck yeah and then i forget about it until it gets up on the calendar that's me i don't know if that's you yeah yeah yeah no i hear you so i'm pumped up uh and uh what do you so what are you doing tonight though

where it's I it's just such a dad situation so new year's Eve first of all I'd almost kind of forgotten even was New Year's Eve because like we have young children New Year's Eve kind of means nothing this frankly you know and also that's been mostly fine when they haven't really given a fuck because I've never never either New Year's Eve is always been very much just one of those like that's all it's a part it's a party holiday you know yeah it exists almost entirely just to get drunk. For sure. And so, yeah, you know, used to hit for me.

But I always, even back in the day, I never liked going out on New Year's Eve. That was fucking amateur hour, you know, like I'd always try to eat. I'd either throw a party when I was in college or, you know, go to a house party somewhere. That was my style. But, you know, you have young kids and New Year's Eve just kind of goes away forever. But tonight, though, we've got some friends out here that we've met since we've been out here, living out here. They're like,

they're like sketch and improv comedy people. Yeah. Actually, some people listen might know. I mean, it's the mom so hard

is what they're called. They're like for, you know, it's like mom comedy. Oh, yeah. Don't mean that disparagingly. I'm not a mom, but like mom fucking love them.

But yeah, and I've gotten to know them that Jen and Kristen are their names. And they're both married. They both have kids. who are like the same age as mine. That's how we got to like know each other and start hanging out.

We always like watch the Super Bowl with them all this shit. Well, anyway, we're going over there later. So it's going to be, you know, a bunch of adults in their 30s who all have kids like eight and under. And I'm a shitload of rug rats running around tearing stuff up. And we're doing New Year's Eve on East Coast time. Yeah. So like at nine at nine o'clock. that will be like, you know, New Year's, whatever, we'll pull up the New York feed on the TV and do the ball dropping shift.

Well, I mean, this is the real one. Right. Right. But also, you know, kids ain't making it until midnight, you know. So, like, we do it at 9 o'clock, California time and, you know, do the whole thing. Happy New Year with all these little children's. And then everybody goes home after that. I saw this dude.

I was just scrolling through Twitter and what he's done is, I guess, Somebody has edited, like, last year or the year before's New Year's Eve ball drop, and they just put a 2020 graphic on it. And so he's just, like, his kids want to see the ball drop, but they also are too young and know about time. So he's just playing that shit and then sending them to bed, which I think is pretty, I mean, a lot of your kids when you need to hit. Yeah, absolutely.

We are, yeah, we're going to my buddy Robbie, so I said just pulled up in my driveway, he's going to smoke me. We're going to Robbies starting at 630 or 7, and it's a 20s theme, like a 19-20s theme. So, you know, I'll be wearing my stupid little bowler hat, and we're going to drink like rye whiskey. Constable Cho. Yeah, Constable Cho. On the beat tonight. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'll text Amber and tell her some pictures. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to, it'll be the Cho-hibition. Yeah. But we're doing that. And because of my favorite thing about our ages and how we handle alcohol now is we start partying at 6.30 drinking rye whiskey as 12.01 we're all going to go to sleep. Oh, without a doubt. Whereas used to, midnight was when it got cranked. Right, for sure.

Yeah, it didn't start until the ball drop. My favorite thing is I never wanted to go to parties. It's always nice. Somebody's got some at their house cool, but I ain't fucking going out that stupid. because my favorite thing about New Year's is not New Year's Eve, it's New Year's Day, because my mama cooked the traditional black-eyed peas and cornbread and greens and that shit. And now that Mama drinks, we get to have it at two instead of 10 or 11, which hits so hard. So I'm pumped up about it.

I hope you all have a good time. I don't know what Drew's doing. Drew's supposed to be. He's near me. But I think he's leaving. I don't know what the fuck he's doing. So whoever knows what he's doing. Well, well read folks.

I hope this came out to you. I'm sure you're all going to be listening here on New Year's Day. It probably won't be up at 6 a.m. Let's face it. I know they've been, it's been shitty the past couple times because it just so happens that, so my birthday, Christmas Day, and New Year's are all exactly three weeks apart, and they've all fallen on Wednesdays this December. Yeah, but I'll back your.

up though and say like without throwing anybody under the bus or attempting to things have genuine behind the same things have happened like from the you know technical side or that we're out of your control that's true had nothing to do with that just so happened that happened like two three weeks in a row well that's that's that's a hundred percent true but like here's the deal normally like i i i i like tuesdays amber knows this tuesday is just the day that we record the podcast i edit it and we all always time it out in a way that like I've got plenty of time to do it I don't have to rush but like so yeah I mean I will have stuff on my schedule for Wednesday because it will have already been posted so it just

coincidentally we were late getting our shit I couldn't get it up at the time I needed to get it up and then all those other like my life still went on and you know like when we were in uh well hell was it we were we were shooting the fucking sketch or whatever and it just like look I got I got an hour to can dedicate to this and if I don't have my shit, I mean, it's going to be three days because we're covered the fuck up. So yes, it's not entirely my fault, but I'm not going to not take any of the blame for it because I'm an adult. So anyways, I love you guys. Please continue to listen to the podcast in 2020 and come see it on the road. Like I said, we won't be on the road until March, but podcast will still come out every week on Wednesday and we're going to be

working on some new sketch for you guys. And Trey also has, how many episodes you have left in South and Off? Oh, the last one is coming out, like right now. Okay, well. We'll figure some other shit out. Yeah, yeah, we'll do some stuff. There'll be a other shit. All right.

All right. Happy New Year, Yons. Happy New Year, excuse. That was the well-read podcast here on Sclarbro Country Radio. The last well-read podcast of the decade, in fact. Here with you now is your hostess with the mostest, the DJ in her PJ. the round mound of smooth sounds. It's Big D, everybody.

And here to finish off our broadcast, we have a special treat for you guys. You, of course, know the band Gypsy Speedboat from such classics as, I want this truck more than I need these teeth. It's cold out here, but it stinks in there. And of course, their number one hit single, I can only come when I'm crying.

Well, we couldn't afford them, but we were able to get their former open. and banned the slippery biscuits in studio today to perform their version of the New Year's classic Old Lang Sign. And if I had to guess, it'll go exactly how you figure something like that would go. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the slippery biscuits. Acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mine. Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mine? Should all acquaintance be for God and days of all langsine? My ain't sign, my dear for all insinine, we'll take this yet for an

anxiety. All acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mine. Should old acquaintance be for God and all langsine? Happy New Year, everybody. Thank y'all for listening. Ski!