wellRED podcast - #155 - Death and Talking Funny!

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

This week, among other things, the boys discuss Funeral Home traditions in the south. wellredcomedy.com for tickets!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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Terms apply. See Capital One.com for details. What's going on, everybody? It's your boy the show, well-readcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com. That is where you can find out where we're going to be on our 2020 tour. We're going to be in Raleigh, North Carolina, New Orleans, Louisiana, Indianapolis, Indiana, Washington, D.C., Atlanta, Georgia, Vancouver, British Columbia, Seattle, Washington, Minneapolis, Minnesota, and Reader, Pennsylvania.

More dates being added all the time, but you can grab those tickets before they sell out at well-read comedy.com. Also, while you're there, go ahead and subscribe to the newsletter. That way you know where we're going to be before my dumbass even knows where we're going to be. You can also pick up some sweet merch, our book, our album, t-shirts, hats, all that sorts of good shit. This portion of the podcast is always brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com and get all the rubs for all your meats. And also Carvodka.com if you want to get drunk like the show. Anyways, on with the show. Skew!

They're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex. They care way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck. Like, it's zero sugar root beer. She bought that like a month ago. Mm-hmm.

And we can't stop now. That tastes like fucking root beer. It's got stevia and something else in it. It's called Virgil's, everybody. Virgil's all natural zero-sugar root beer. They do not sponsor the podcast or just likes them. That's right. My boy is like root beer is there.

number one jam. Did you know that even like standard root beer don't have caffeine in it? Yeah. I always just assumed that it did because it seems like it would to me. Right. But yeah, ever since we found that out, it's sort of been just open season on root beers at our house.

For them, I don't, I don't really fuck with any. I know more about root beer than I should. Like, I know what the roots are. Oh, also, by the way, Corey, unfortunately,

has had a death in the family and is not with us this week. He's alive. He didn't die. but he's not with us here today. There's no show today. And Drew is only about 25, 30% here because the Kansas City Chiefs won Super Bowl yesterday, and he's half dead. And because I was just talking to our producer Brennan about this. This is my first Super Bowl on this coast.

Super Bowl ends at 830. Hit so hard for me. I get it. And I expected it to hit for me. And it did last night because the Super Bowl was over. I was in a great mood because I've been a Chiefs fan. So I was eight years old. And then I partied.

Right. I mean, if the tight time. had made it and then well first of all if the titans had made it i'd already told katy i was flying back to tennessee i wasn't even going to watch it here i was going to get a plane ticket and go home i was thinking like going to miami uh but but if i did end up out here while watching either the titans or the vals in a championship game or something like that and then they won i would i mean dude i wouldn't be here right now the what like i would either i wouldn't you know i wouldn't be in a hospital or a jail cell or nothing it wouldn't be that bad but like i would cancel everything i had that

the next day because I would be too hungover to do fucking anything 100% without a doubt. Well, I can't do this 100%. I skipped into the Obisket. If you guys have already listened to the episode or are about to listen to the other podcasts, you'll note my absence. But, I mean, DJ talked to our producer, Kevin, and he told me all the shit they talked about. It was wild. Honestly, I think it's going to be a better episode.

Tell me, we were talking to Corey, about this funeral situation, and him not been able to be here. And we started texting, and there was some confusion among the ranks. It seems like either it's semantics or y'all did funerals differently in Morgan County than we did in Clay County. Neither of us has ever done it any other way. When someone passes where I'm from, everyone I've ever been to, they have what we call the funeral, but it's just a receiving of friends. But the reason they call it a funeral is because someone preaches. they have the funeral what like eulogies the service yes the service yeah at night that is when

the town comes like unless you're close to the family you're not going to go to the burial most likely yes and that's always been a bigger deal that first thing unless it's like you're yeah i mean like all that is the same but what was the problem you said the funeral is it not night, the burial's the next day, right? Yeah. That was the major difference because Corey had said that the funeral or something was tomorrow, which made you assume the burial was Wednesday and thus we were going to have to cancel something Wednesday or something like that.

Yes, that's exactly what. I was like, Corey was like, no, no, it's all because like what Corey said in Saline, literally every funeral I've ever been to, which has been mostly Salina, a little bit of Waynesboro. But it's, it works the way you just said. It's just that it's, the burial happens immediately following the funeral. And I? Like afternoon evening or during the day, if it's a Saturday or Sunday or something.

But if it's on a Monday. I think they still just do it. And people just leave work or whatever. Or like, I mean, I can't remember the days of the week, but I know that we have, in Salina, what it works is you have visitation. Where's that at? The funeral home. But there's no speaking. The corpse is on display.

People bring food, whatever. People just come through to pay their respects and the family is there. But like Corey was talking about being there and how he's got to be there for eight hours and he can't leave. We always would like kind of handle it in shifts or something. Like we would almost never would all of us be there always the whole time. Right. But that's neither here nor there. People come pay the respects.

The family's there. That's for, it depends on the funeral and who's died or whatever. but that's for like a number of days normally like one or two days and that will be in like the afternoon evening it can go into the night eight or nine o'clock at night or something and it's just a set amount of time where the family is receiving people receiving friends but there's no we call that visitation there's no speeches we call that the receiving of friends but it's when the preacher talks and the eulogy's over nobody nobody talks at those and then and then there's the funeral which is like you said everybody comes extended friends and family anybody

who's going to be there at all is there at the funeral right before the burial and people talk the preacher does his thing there are eulogies given dedication songs are played whatever depending on the each individual person and then as soon as that literally the second that that is over everyone goes straight from there to the parking lot

gets in their cars and but it's still like you said it's not everyone only the close friends and family go get in their cars line up behind the hearse follow the hear straight to the barrel and do the burial right then and that all makes so to the how everyone I've ever had. And the reason...

I've never been to one that didn't work that way. The reason this conversation come up is because I was confused about Corey's schedule. And then it occurred to me as we were discussing things. And this is probably true of you. And it's probably almost true of Corey, although there might be two or three. There's one funeral home company in some... Salana also only had one. And the owners, if I'm not mistaken...

We have either one or two. The owners, if I'm not mistaken, also run and... on the one in Warburg. Yeah, the same thing. And I ain't ever been to one in Oakdale or Coffield. That's too far out in the county for me. You know what I mean? Right.

They ain't, you know. But yeah, I also realized that I've only ever been to one kind of funeral. Like, my dad was cremated, and I've been to other words where people were cremated or something. And the only difference is there just is no burial part. Everything else works the same. That last step just doesn't occur, but everything else is the same. So, like, I guess what is just blowing my mind about it. What you just said makes total sense to me because it's kind of what happens on a movie

and it's like, oh yeah, you have the funeral, then you bury the person. That makes total sense. But what my town does makes total sense to me in a lot of ways more so because, let's say a patron, you know, a real pillar of the community, excuse me, I don't want to say Patreon, a pillar of the community passes. Everybody's going to go to the receiving of friends in the evening

when they're off work and hear the speeches. That's always in the evening so people can do that. Is that technically a funeral? I don't know. I wouldn't. What is a funeral? Again, we come. Is the burial by definition?

What I have always called the funeral is the part where people talk. There's a preacher if you have that. People give eulogies, whatever else. The casket is there if there is a casket. That's the funeral. And then it's my, you know, in my experience, that's the funeral, which is then immediately followed by the burial. All that other stuff you describe,

we have always called visitation, and we have that too, but it's not, I wouldn't call. But no one speaks. But no one talks. You said people talk at that. Right. And this is like a very, it's like an open house with a dead body in it. They have that. They have that for people who can't make it to the funeral. Right, yes. But like, they put the funeral at night the day before the burial

so that more people can come. This is the definition of a funeral. The ceremony is honoring a dead person, so far. That covers both of what we're describing. This comma, though, typically involving burial or cremation. I guess we're atypical in some, right, in many ways. But it makes, like I said, at a small town, it makes sense to me because if you have a funeral at 3 in the afternoon, nobody can come. Yeah, people just would, you know, hell, it wasn't no jobs anyway. No, I agree with you about that part of it.

I never even considered it at the time because it's just like you just, if you were in school. nose in there. Well, like, if you were in school, you didn't go to school that day. If you had a job, you just, if it was like a friend or family member, you just didn't go. I like to imagine. So a big part of my town's history was that the frillses and the Galloways, which was a combined family, you know, Mary Power. They, uh, it was like, they were such an important lumber family that back in the day, they even, like, had script before that was illegal, you know?

Oh, yeah. I'd like to imagine that what happened is that real boss man stuff. Right. It's like in the, like, 1930s. They were like, I'm tired of these motherfuckers. laying out of work just because their dad died. Yeah, right. Start doing that at night, God damn.

Probably. Or, I mean, I don't know about probably, but it wouldn't surprise me. Well, if it's not too macabre for you guys, I'm curious, tweet at us or whatever, which is, which you're more familiar with. How do people die? How do people be dying? Dude, I've wanted to do a funeral bit for probably three or four years. Fitzsimmons, when I was in Portland, he's got one, and it's so damn funny.

Because, like, I get why we do it. Like, ceremony to honor the dead. It's really for the people that are alive. Yeah, right. But it's all so strange. Mm-hmm. You know, a lot of the ceremonies are old. They're from a time where superstition...

And anyway, he just... My favorite one was making fun of people saying, oh, they look... He looks so good. Dude, that's so weird you say that because doesn't... Wasn't we just talking to DJ? DJ was saying that exact thing, like, on our podcast, or were we not on the...

I know that DJ recently... was talking about, he was like, basically verbatim what you just, where he was like, they always say, it's like, oh,

he looks so good. It's like, no the fuck he don't. I remember him looking like a goddamn clown corpse and fucking, whatever, like a fucking, a CMT video.

I don't remember what all he said, but I just vividly remember DJ going on a fucking diatribe about how much it pisses him off that people are always like, oh, he looks so good when they don't look nothing like that. I thought that was when he was on the podcast, But anyway, I don't know. Well, I may have added that to Greg's bit because DJ did it and it was funny.

Or maybe, obviously, they both comment on that. I mean, Greg was longer. He was talking about, you know, you're standing in line and how weird that it. I don't know. It was great. Awake. I don't want to be. Yeah, I may neither.

Oh, that's a thing. That's a Catholic thing, ain't it? I don't know. We don't do them either. I just know that it's a thing. And did they get drunk? Catholics do, yeah. Right.

Yeah, generally speaking, yes. Generally speaking at a wake. Yeah. Right, yeah. But awake is more like like a party, isn't it? Or am I wrong about that? Party to honor the dead. Well, that hits. Yeah.

We ought to do that. My, everything I know. We had a party at Thompson's house after my dad's funeral, but I wouldn't call it. And that's the reason we had to party. Right. We just didn't call it that. Yeah. And the way anyone tells stories?

Did anyone tell stories? I mean, everybody telling stories all night. Not in a formal, like, not in a like. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's hitting the wine glass. It wasn't no wine glasses. Right.

You're drinking out of jars. Boxes. Yeah, I think that's what a wake is. And I will say most everything I know about wakes comes from, I want to say, mostly Irish literature. I know that the Irish fuck with them for sure. But I mean, like, Finnegan's Wake. And a lot of, there was a big Wake. There was a couple different James Joyce scenarios where there was Wakes.

And, like, I had to, you know, you read those in, like, lit. They was just dying all over the place. And drinking all the time. Yeah, right. Right, yeah. Hard to blame them. You can be racist towards Irish still. Yeah, they're still white.

Yeah. They are white. They're actually now white for the first time. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's new for them as us as a people. I don't know what I'm saying? Them said over here, my beard's redder than this fucking microphone cover. But yeah, no, we've, Corey was saying the other day, I don't think on here about, like,

which nationalities and stuff, it's still. okay to stereotype or to make fun of or be like, it ain't racist, but ethnic, whatever the fucking word is. Yeah, I mean, I guess it would be xenophobic. Xenophobic about which ones are still accepted. And it's like, it's pretty much

it's literally just if they're white. Like, you know what I mean? Like, Russians are fine. The Irish are fine. Italians are fine. Like, fucking if, like, and I'm not bitching, by the way. I don't want this to come across. Like, I'm being like, how much bullshit is it? That it's only okay to, that's not my

point, I'm just making an observation. I mean, I think it's funny. Like, as long as they're white, you can make fun of that country and what they do and how they are. This is a comedian I like. His name's Andrew Derso in New York. He tweeted something recently about, like, it was something like, love going to these woke Brooklyn shows where they're all doing the Italian accent.

Right. You know. But then he followed, like, in the same tweet, but then he said something like, but I'm not even saying you're a hypocrite. Comedy's just fucking weird, man. Yeah. Did you see the Super Bowl? I tweeted about it with the Boston accent.

Yeah. Ruled. Yeah, I liked it too, but it's like the whole commercial is just, the whole entire commercial is just, let's get these celebrities and make them talk like these fucking idiots from this place. I'm pretty sure all of them are from near Boston. They probably are. I know Sherry O'Terry is. That's Rachel Dratch.

Yeah, so I'm in. Yeah. And I 99% sure that John. John Cresensky. Yeah, is. I don't know anything about Chris Evans. I don't know where any of them are from either. But I kind of figured, I was like, I bet they're all from Boston.

It's fine. Like, it was funny. It hit, but I'm just saying, like, the whole concept of it is just, let's just have them use that accent because it's hilarious. Well, there's a very popular, almost like a meme joke before memes were a thing. About Cox, Pop the Cod, and it's called Smart Park. SmartPock. Yeah. So I think there's like an extra thing.

Right. Yes. I agree with you. Like if they were, like, if it was a car that had like a cousin fucking app, they'd have got us. Well, that's what I tweeted. It was like, I appreciate Boston for taking the, you know, isn't it hilarious that they sound the way they sound? Yeah.

Heat off of us every once in a while because it's like, you know, it easily could have just been hillbillies. Like you just have, like, famous people. I was trying to hear what the cousin fucking app would be. I think it's Facebook. Like a truck commercial. You know what I mean? Fucking everybody says that.

You know what I mean? God damn. No what I'm. Shovels and hammers and stuff. That's an actual line from an F-150 commercial. I know. Thompson used to say it all the time because it cracked him up. It wasn't said in the southern accent, but it was just, you know how they had for a while there and probably still, but for a while there, like every truck commercial was just like trucks.

Yeah. Man. Yeah. Man love trucks. Like everything. And it was like Dennis O'Leary's voice. Yeah, it was. And one of those commercials, they literally have like a working man with a hard hat on.

It was just like, again, he didn't have, I'm doing that fucking thing because he didn't have an old boy accent. But I cannot I cannot not do it in an old boy accent. He's standing with a hard hat on these. They're talking about the like built-in toolbox in the back or something. He's like, yeah, it's great. I love it. It's like, it's great for, you know, shovels and hammers and stuff.

Shovels and hammers and stuff. You know, stuff I like. Love I like, because I'm a man. But anyway, yeah, if it was like that. I'm trying to find something. I think that, I think we're always going to be fair game. And I think that's okay. I'm okay with it.

I used to do that bit about how we, I, the same thing. And I would be like, why is that you think? And what I landed on was that, and I'm not saying I actually believe this. Just like a funny theory. The reason we will always be fair game, no matter what, I think, there's a few different reasons. But the ultimate one, why it will never change is because in order for that to ever change, you have to give a shit. You have to ask people to say it. You have to tell people like, hey, just so you know, that's offensive and we don't like that.

And like rednecks are never, ever, ever, ever going to do that. You know what I mean? Like in the bit, it was just like, you know, rednecks just like, who's talking shit? Everybody. Well, you tell everybody to kiss my ass. And that's the end of it. Like, we're never going to ask for that treatment, you know. No.

Which is fine. It reminded me, and I can't find the picture quickly. I thought that I could. There was an ad, like a big ad campaign in New York. It was an apartment. website it wasn't apartments.com but let's say it was apartments.com all right and the whole theme of the ad was we're going to help you find whatever you need and different people need different stuff and it was cartoons and it was it was like a dude and a woman who looked very jazzy and he

had like a horn and find an apartment in the cool you know i don't know what the fuck one then there was literal pigman yeah in a pickup truck yeah yeah i think mississippi was what they were searching for they had had like a jug of moonshine. You were living there at the time, right? You, I remember you sent that to, like, the group text. You took a picture of it and sent it to us. But what was the...

You said it was like, hey, if you're into jazz and hip shit, but, like, who was that for? If you, like... If you move here from Mississippi? No, no, no. It was a New York campaign, but it wasn't just for New York apartments. Oh, okay. It was, if you want to live in Mississippi and you're a pig man. Okay.

You know, the pigmen of Mississippi. We got mud huts. Right. They know how to use the internet now. Ever since Al Gore, the pigmen know how to use the internet. That's true. So I don't know what your problem is.

Literal pigmen. With a jug. I miss Corey. Uh, Hey, when you go from, uh, hold on. Are you changing?

Yeah. Well, what I wanted to say is, and this relates to the, the Italian accent thing and the, shitting on Irish people and you know not doing it with like you know you can't do a Chinese

accent I mean you can but like people are going to be like that's fucking weird and racist if a white guy's doing that and blah blah blah I think that my main I don't know concern problem with PC culture here we go white man coming in with a hot take not always but sometimes it becomes just like a list of rules

yeah these are the five rules right and that's not what being a good person is is following five rules Being a good person has to do with like empathizing with other people. It's just the one rule, right? Don't be an asshole. Yeah. What's made a gold?

The rule. The golden rule. Oh, right. And I think, I think that if there's a problem with it currently, it's, no, there is a problem with it currently. And it's that it can be abused by people doing that. By going, that dude didn't follow the five rules, so let's pile on there. But like, they're not employing any empathy or vice versa. Well, this wasn't technically against.

the five rules. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, but it's against the one rule. Like the pig man thing. It's not on the list of rules. Right. Not making fun of Southerners

for being cousin fucking idiots is not on the list of rules. Right. And as you just pointed out, it won't be because we're not trying to petition to get it on there. First of all, we fucking hate rules.

We hate petitions and we don't like the people who make it. Exactly, yes. I think I'm losing my train of thought, but my, God, I'm so hung over. But my main point is like,

it kind of has become follow the rules. instead of well this is all about being decent sense about what it being a decent person this seem fucked up to anybody instead of that it's like does it or does it not break one of these rules because if you're being decent if you're doing a decent person and you're not a complete idiot you know why it's different to do a chinese accent than a it's in a bowing a meatball because it's like one's goofy you know it's a day in the meatball Yeah, that's perfect.

And like, I'll be honest, I've heard jokes where people employ, you know, a foreign accent and whatever. And I'm like, oh, that was funny to me. And I kind of look around the room and everyone's laughing and no one's offended. And then there's other times where it's like, oh, this is, this is the whole joke here is just that Chinese people don't know how to talk. So, you know what I mean? Like, there's a huge difference in that.

I'm actually going to stick with this for me because I thought of two things. First of all, I want to ask you what you would do and like what the rules are, except I know the answer for what you would do is just not play this game. in the first place, or be at this party, probably. Let's say, hypothetically, you're at a party with a bunch of white people. And, like, a very suburban type situation. And somebody starts playing that game. You know the game from Inglorious Bastards, where you got a card on your head,

and it's like a person from history or a thing, and you have to, you can't. People tell you stuff. You ask them questions or something? Well, this one is just the things on your head, and the person's like, you don't ask questions, they just describe it to you. Okay. But you can't say any of the words, right? Right.

Well, so we're doing that. I'm so excited. And I had the, uh, I picked the category like accents and impersonations, right? And, uh, so it's like Russian. Okay. Or Elvis, you know, either really, really famous people or just. Yeah. Countries.

Yeah. Whatever. Or. Really, really famous people or racism. Yes. Here we go. So like, you know, I got, I definitely play this game. Okay.

Well, you could, there's a bunch of different categories. It's not all accents and shit. But I picked, or I didn't pick, I got, the person I was playing with my partner, it said on their head, Japanese. So what do you think I did? Also, there's a timer.

You know, it's a time, you got one minute. So what do you think I? First of all, what would you do? What do you think I did? And like, how match anybody? No, I didn't do that. I didn't pull my eyes back. Thank God.

But I immediately, pan of mine to sword. Okay. That ain't bad. And went, Ha! Yeah. And then they were just like, what? And I'm just doing it.

I'm like, ha, ha! It's over with a sword. You ain't got much time, Drew. I know. But you got to succinctly get in the cross. Helps. That definitely helps. It helps.

It didn't help you win. That would have immediately narrowed it down. Just because of everyone knows the racist joke. Like, fuck, you know, whether or not it's fair or acting. accurate just right but go ahead the other thing staying on Japan

and Italians yeah like I've always heard in red I've been over have you been to China or Japan I know you've been all over the world no and I was talking to Andy I might go there like for World Cup or something but like I don't

I'm not as interested I would love to go to Japan I'm not interested in China really but Japan would have yeah I guess that's really I feel China scares me but but yeah me too but um

I've always heard that they just don't. They just don't have none of this over there and don't give a fuck about any of it or even pretend to, like still to this day. And this is an old example, but they haven't, this racism stereotyping type shit of other cultures.

And the biggest, most prominent example. They don't do it to other people? No, they do it without, it's not even, it doesn't even occur to them. Like,

you know what I mean? That's bad. Yeah, go ahead. I can't wait. Well, I was just going to say, one of the most prominent pop culture icons of the past 30 years probably is, is a

like hilariously caricatured Italian plumber created by Japanese people you know it's a me

Mario and like he still talks like that they've never changed it he's to me and like no one has ever given a fuck

and they're never going to change it but I know that's an old character but I sent y'all in the group text recently a Pokemon obviously devised in Japan from a recent Pokemon edition and it's like a Mexican Pokemon

and dude he's got a fucking sombrero on he looks part of his like caricature is like being lazy what I swear to God the Pokemon is like if you read his character description he's like he just lounges by the fucking

aquatic areas where you can find him and he's got a sombrero on his head and shit and it's like that ain't old like Japan come up with that one within the past like, I mean, I don't know, it might have been five years or so at this point, but relatively recent history. And it's just like, they just don't give a fuck about none of that stuff. That's wild.

I was trying to find this tweet I saw where somebody had screen capped all the American names on this baseball game, this Japanese. It wasn't offensive, but it was just so. I was thinking of the lacrosse thing. But that sounds funny, too. It was so, I can't find it. It wasn't offensive, but it was like, it was like Mangel Bernandez. Yeah.

Anyway, you remind me a few things. But I think they don't have any other, like Japan, especially, extremely isolation. Like, they literally only have themselves for the most part. I've read about, you know, China's economy essentially being where we were in the 50s. So maybe they're just where we were in the 50s in a lot of ways. I guess. I don't know. They're just.

Two stories. My friend Julian at a Halloween party I had in New York came as guy on vacation. but he had a sombrero. Julian's very Italian. And one of my friends thought that Julian was being racist because he came as a Mexican, even though he hadn't. He'd come as a guy on vacation,

like an asshole on vacation wearing a sombrero. But Julian is dark, and the guy thought Julian had dumb brown face too, which is a kind of racist assumption, like not racist assumption, but you look at somebody and assume that they would not be, I don't know,

it just was so hilarious to me. frankly, all of it. It's like a literally racist assumption, meaning you're making an assumption about someone's race. Right. But not that you're making a... Based upon the color of their skin. Right, but not like... They're lazy.

Yeah, or something like that. He's just not that brown naturally. That's not his race. Right. That's a racist assumption you're making. Right. Yeah. It was weird.

So funny to me. Yeah. You were talking about playing games at a party. Not a game, but you used. saw the picture of where I was at last night. It was a friend of a friend's parents who were pretty rich in the Hollywood Hills. We played the quarters game. Like you buy a square at the end of each quarter there's a score. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get three and four and then the chiefs have three. Yeah. So it's a game. Charles, you know Charles. He loves those. I love them too. I bought

four. I didn't win. Before I tell the story real quick, I want everyone to know that Trey and I are very aware that the differences that Italians are white and have been a part of white supremacy in the West. Like, we're not idiots. And I'm not even saying that to, like, get woke points. I'm saying that we're aware of why it's different to do that kind of. Yeah, it's the, like... And again, it's fine.

Yeah. I don't want that to change. Right. Please, God, don't change it to where we can't make fun of Italians or Frenchmen or Brits or whatever anymore because, like... Yeah. I think it's going to get to the point where accents are going to be fine as long as it serves the purpose of the joke and the whole joke isn't...

They can't talk. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we was doing that Squares thing. and the host, the one, there was a couple,

a husband and a wife, but she won two quarters in a row. And my friend Megan said, well, she deserves it because they had put on this party. They had like a bartender. The food spread was ridiculous. So she won,

this lady won $200 and what Megan meant was, oh, she probably recouped that thousand she spent on this. But she said, well, she deserves it. And I, it got kind of quiet. And I just looked around. I go, yeah,

because they have so little while we were like right by their pool. And I'm pretty sure I offended their son. Yeah, probably. How adult son or like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's like, I mean, me and him were cool, but like, I think it annoyed him. Yeah. You know, like, I'm at his house. But I wasn't shit on it. I'm surprised

that that's the most you did. I asked you if the Ravens were going to show up, because, you know, you can really go in on the rich. Well, they were self-made creatives. I mean, I'm sure they had help, you know, like so many self-made people. But, you know, they were sweet.

They made a TV show about dancing. Mm-hmm. And anyway. I was going to switch it up a little bit. Yeah, let's switch it up. You skinny. You be working out and stuff. When you start eating well and, like, keep it up.

But I'm talking about it at the beginning. Like you start and but you actually stick to it for a couple days or whatever. Like a week? Yeah. eating, like eating stuff that is actually healthy all the time. Yeah. What's that do to your guts? Anything?

Hmm. My guts changed for the better when I do that stuff, but that's because I stop drinking, usually. I mean, me too. Not drinking is included in part of that. And the drinking is, like, a big part of my gut situation. Me too. Issue.

So it improves. I don't know if I ate well but drank what it would do. Even at the very beginning. Okay. First of all, you used to tell me for years, you were right. Well, I would talk about how terrible my guts wearing out of these gut problems, and you would be like, well, have you tried cutting out this or this or that? And I'm like, no, no, no.

And you're like, have you literally tried anything to do anything about it? And I was just like, no, fuck that. No, don't hit. I'm telling you, it's just me. It ain't know of that. Yeah. Well, it, I have since found, but accidentally, like not through trying to. I told you when I told you that shit that I found mine accidentally.

But like it's just, it's booze. Like drinking and not just beer or not just liquor. It don't matter. Like drinking alcohol is the number one thing that makes my stomach fucky. But back to the subject of hand, every time that I first switch gears into actually eating healthy for a little bit, eventually it does improve. But like at the very beginning. It's a nightmare? Yes.

And I feel like it's my body. being like, well, don't hit. What is this? It's green. What are you doing? We like beige stuff. You know that. Yeah.

Throw some more trash down here. What are you trying to make me work? It's don't hit. Andy. Or something like that. Vegetarian for four months now. Pescatarian is more an accurate description. She eats fish about once a week or shrimp.

When I say she hasn't stopped farting for four months. Yeah. And I keep thinking like she'll adjust. And they're not super gross or anything, but like, doesn't stop farting. So, I mean, it's a real thing, man. But, like, that's good, though, right? Or, like, because it's supposed to be, like, all that's supposed to be good for you

eating that way. It's probably bad, but the bad is that your guts is wrong and have been for so long that now this is your reality. You know what I mean? It's still good to eat healthy. It's still good for Andy to be vegetarian. I don't know. That's my theory.

Yeah. yeah well that's all that's that i just i wondered i ate uh some grilled chicken and a big ass bowl of spinach today and your guts is wrong yeah and so i was just wondering on the way over here yeah if that was a common thing because katie said the same thing about herself like two days ago because she had gotten her shit together or whatever i can't be consistent enough with anything for me to even remember or no though like let's be honest right i have been relatively sober Last night was an exception and Portland was an exception this entire year, and I'm going to continue to be. But I've been craving sugar, which I don't ever eat sugar, but because the booze is gone.

And buddy, let me tell you, I went to Dunkin' Donuts, Dr. Dunkin' Donuts. Krispy cream. Yeah, I know. And when I got there, they said, do you want a sample? And I did. So I said, yes. And they gave me a whole glazed donut. And I ate a glazed donut

While I was in line For my donuts Yeah I'm waiting on my donuts I got the ring-filled cream Which is new They're putting cream in the ring now Like stuff crust pizza

I ate that Because that's what I got I got Andy This cute little heart-shaped ones They was doing for Valentine's Day That are cream-filled to say Cutie or whatever on it And they had different kinds of cream

You could put in there And I got her cake batter because I saw that hit for her. I ate half of it on the way home. I justified it in my mind by saying she'll think it's adorable. Who wouldn't think it was cute to have a heart with a bite taken out of it? You're saying that's because you have sobered up. You're like your body is replacing that sugar in other ways.

I mean, I've always like whenever I go on a little bit of a bender, which I haven't really done that in a while, but I used to stay doing that when I would go on a band. And not like, you know what I meant, not literally laying drunk all day every day, but just drinking every day in a row at nighttime for an extended period of time or something like that. Every time I'd do that whenever I would first dry out, that first day or two of drying out, oh my God, dude, just hoovering. Well, like everything. But yes, sugar especially.

But it was just like, and I've talked to other buddies of mine who were like big drinkers and had the same thing. And it's like your body just becomes accustomed to a certain lifestyle, you know. Yeah. And it don't care that it's, you're murdering it with that lifestyle. It hits, so it wants more of that. We have a mutual friend. I won't say his name, but he was quitting drinking, you know, I think he was deciding it had become a real problem for him. And he was doing that, eating candy all the time.

And he told me that he had read and people who had, you know, recovered from alcoholism or whatever had told him, do it. Yeah. Eat the shit out of that candy. Right. Don't deny yourself anything. Get fat as hell for a few months. Right.

And as long as you actually kick it. Right. You can worry about that later. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, that makes sense to me. Yeah. I mean, because like diabetes will kill you, but it won't break your mama's heart.

Right. I mean, probably won't have for her, but yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. So, Trey, it's almost Super Tuesday. That's probably not. This isn't Super Tuesday. I'm fucking that up.

What is it, what is the Iowa Tuesday called? I was just, I don't know. The Iowa caucus would always hurt call you. That's tomorrow by the time this comes out. Damn, that's tomorrow? Uh-huh.

We will know who won Iowa. Do you have any predictions? Oh, Bernie. That's what you think he's going to win Iowa? Mm-hmm. I agree with you. I'm about 55% sure it'll be Bernie

and the other 45 things should be Biden. Isn't, won't the like impeachment verdict isn't that also coming very very soon like in the next couple days and the stay of the union is tomorrow night I didn't know the state of the union is tomorrow but that makes sense that they would plan it

on that night you know what I mean that's just a lot of shit at once to gom up the you know what I mean well what now that we're on politics the impeachment stuff so like the Republicans voted to not allow evidence

right in their trial which is like seems weird but really conservatives, they've never really needed evidence. It's just this is the opposite because normally it's a black man who's then executed. Right. But like, as opposed to being a president who's allowed to walk free. But evidence, evidence never, never really been a big thing for them. They have been consistent on their feelings about evidence. Yeah. Who needs it? Right. So I mean, but I don't know. On the one, basically the way I feel about the whole thing is that the whole time, we have all always known that they were never going to convict him, right? Like no,

Like, no matter what. Like, we always knew that. That was never part of the bargain. So, like, I think, of course they're doing this shit. Right. Well, but I think fairly what they're getting at and fairly what Dems are mad about, they wanted to put on the evidence for the political theater of it. And conservatives didn't want them to put on the evidence to avoid the political theater of it.

What Lamar Alexander said, and I agree with the first half of his statement, even though I think they should have allowed the evidence because justice is a process, not a fucking outcome. And I've been saying that ever since I learned it firsthand. But he said, we know. He said it. You know, like, in the articles of impeachment, there is no lie. The only question I have, and this is him talking, remaining was whether or not that was an impeachable offense, and I don't think it was. Now, how he arrived at that conclusion, and again, saying that it's not an impeachment, offense doesn't mean you don't think the president should be removed it means you don't think it's even a question worth having a trial over and I just don't understand that thought process

but that's what that's kind of becoming their like official line isn't it on all this they're like some of them even said like it was wrong it was improper it was improper he shouldn't it shouldn't have done that but but it's not enough to remove him from office for and that's what we're impeachable and feces impeachable offenses I think are treason. High crimes. It's probably not that. It might fit somehow under high crimes.

I mean, I could argue it. But then, like, felony or misdemeanor that you abuse the office while committing. Right. Abuse the power, the office, whatever. The powers of the office of the president. While committing a misdemeanor or felony. Right. And how, like, how could you argue that?

I guess you could argue that while it was improper, it wasn't a crime, but it is. But it is, though. Yeah, right. It's against election laws. Yeah. And that's a felony. But again, they were never going to convict him, in my opinion, and we have known that the whole time. So, like, voting him out or whatever has always been our only real recourse.

I still think that it was the right thing to do to impeach him. I'm not saying that. Yeah. That should have happened, but, like, this was always going to be the outcome. One thing I said we needed it for is we needed young stars who could use the, trial as a launching point to be, you know, the future of the party. Adam Schiff is not that young, but we have gotten from him. I mean, he's done a decent job, and I think in the eyes of a lot of sort of centrist Democrats,

he's crushed it. So we did get one rising star out of it. I mean, Schiff's been around a while, but I think he's really, I think he's going to be one of the leaders of the party for the next 10 years because of this. Yeah, you're probably right. I would have liked to have had more of that. And I would have liked to have, you know, to be younger people and people who are more progressive

and frankly, some of those women that I like. But, you know, the four. Side note, but as political, I was just thinking, did you see, as far as I'm aware, it's real? I saw it all over the internet. They immediately fixed it, but I think it was real. You can't even fucking tell anymore. But the thing that Trump tweeted right after the Super Bowl,

do you see that? Kansas? Yeah, but congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs. They made the state of Kansas. and the whole country of America proud on a global stage or something. Like, he first of all said Kansas, but he also implied that it was like, you know, like the Olympics or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed to just like they're all American team, like it's a wholly American league.

I do think that was real, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's just, he's so dumb. He's pretty dumb. He's, he don't hit. This just then. But yeah, I thought of it because you said Schiff, and I also saw that tweet recently. recently where he's like

you know silly shift lying Nancy Pelosi and the no nothing Democrats are on the fake no like every single noun every one of them had these like multiple just

junior high grade like insult nicknames attached to them like it's just it works man it just still blows my mind that that's like that's the president of the United States talking like that. Like, dude, the president of the W.W.E.

Talking like that would make sense, but I don't even think he does. You know what I mean? Like, Vince McMahon comports himself, you know, better in his capacity as president of the world wrestling entertainment. Donald Trump has been on his network. Yeah. That's not by accident. the face with a bedpan by stone called Steve Austin. That's not by accident.

I mean, and I bring that up because, and I don't give Donald Trump any credit for this, I think he just kind of oafed into it. Like, I think that's just who he is. Yeah. People like that, dude. I mean, clearly. It's weird, but they do. Reality television was such a punchline for so long.

Yeah, but it was always raking it in, though. It's the true American art form. It is absolutely what we have added. to the lexicon of Western culture. Stand-up and jazz. Yeah, especially stand. I mean, jazz, too, but I just, I'm a comedian, so stand-up. I know.

I mean, go on. But we are doing a lot of what he does, just ironically. Yeah. Like, he's as funny as most stand-ups. The reason that comedians try, and I'm not the first person to say this, is it's difficult to satirize someone so ridiculous. Yeah, right. You know, we taught him that too.

You know, the sort of, what's the word, provocateur. There's a lot of stand-up comics like that, man. Yes. Go back to the reality TV thing for a second, though. There's some good reality television. I'm not saying there's not. I wrote a sketch for Comedy Central that they rejected, in spite of all my work on it.

That was, and I'll just tell you all what it was. The idea was we're going to lampoon 90-day fiancé, but it's going to be 90-day savior. If you don't know what 90-day fiancé is, there's a special visa. Have we talked about this on here before? No, but let's please do, because I watched it because of that sketch. Me too. I mean, it's wild.

It's really good television. It's undeniable. So, the drama is so, all right. It's hugely popular. I'm sure a lot of people know what we mean. But if you don't, there's a special visa that people get for 90 days if you are going to marry someone from another country, which would make them a citizen here, which would entitle them to immigrate here. Which is real.

That's all real. Yeah. And this visa is essentially so you can plan for your wedding. Yeah, right. And then before the 90 days is up, you have to get married and then apply for the green card permanent stuff. Someone turned that into a show where the stakes were, yeah, plan for the wedding, but also make sure this is what you want to do. Because in the age that we live in, many people meet and hang out for a week in Jamaica and decide to get married or they've met on the internet. and only hung out in person two or three times.

And so it's very legitimate. I mean, look, I totally get it. If I met someone on vacation or over the internet, and I hung out with them a couple times, and I really think I fell in love with them. But, like, I would want them to meet my family and to live with them for 30 or 60 days. Yeah, I've explained this premise to some people in person before,

like, people out here, you know, and they're, like, who I didn't otherwise know about it when I started explaining it and I talk about the real thing that exists. I've had some of them be like, oh, really? Like, so. um you know us or whatever it's like like i don't know just like the world we live in type of shit or whatever but and i've always been and i tell them this like oh i mean i think the the program the system the way that works actually makes a ton of sense and is right totally fine it's just

that it has been used as the foundation for this reality tv show it's also the only way you can't get married in america if you are in love with someone who's a system of another country because if the only way to get him here was to marry them you'd have to marry them somewhere else and then bring them with you so it just it makes sense it makes total sense what also makes sense is that the machine that is Hollywood has turned it into

a game show and the reason the show is so incredible is that the stakes are so unbelievably legitimately high on the one hand whereas road rules we're going to win a hundred thousand dollars or real world what if a bunch of spoiled hot 20-year-olds all worked at a smoothie place together

we're going to get fired who gives a fuck you're on MTV and you're going to be famous for the next five years these stakes are fucking real you got people meeting kids you know you got sisters and brothers saying I don't like your new fucking fiance you got people being like I think this is a scam

and that's your family there was one this racist Cuban me-ma was just as soon as the girl got there just started saying racist shit about Colombians that was the whole episode it was so fucking hilarious. She was such a bitch. One of my number one takeaways from that show was that, because we were talking about Trump and everything.

Real quick. On the other hand, you have all the other stuff that you need for great reality television. So you have real stakes, unlike the real world and rules. And then you have trashy people being trashy and producers making them cry on purpose on camera. Sorry, go ahead. One of my main takeaways from that show, and I only watched a couple episodes of it, but I mean, I agree with everything you just said. But was that all this Trump shit in 2020 and nothing hits and everything, all that aside, like, America is still the place to be for a lot of people.

Because, like, these, the episodes I saw, I understand that it's, they're not all like this, they're different. But the episodes I saw, the foreigners were all the women. The women lived in other countries. The dudes were the Americans, right? And every single example they had, every one of them, the woman in the other country was from like Colombia or Russia or Bolivia or wherever, somewhere like that and was like, I mean, just a smoke show, just a dime, like gorgeous girl who is like jumping through all these hoops and going through all this shit and everything, like dying to marry a jabroney. Yeah. Every single one of these dudes was a fucking jabroney from Cleveland or Salt Lake City or whatever, both of which city is hip for me. But I'm just saying, just white-ass, dorky motherfuckers getting these, like, fucking supermodel or, you know, or at least regular models, at least.

Because, like, and they're doing that because, like, that's how hard it hits to get into America and get citizenship and all that type of stuff. That's what that says to me. That's very typical. I just want people to know it's not just that just because, again, I think it's the best reality television show I've ever seen. That's the base. That's probably 40% of what happened.

I think I watched two or three episodes, but that held true for all of those. There was a young couple. He met, he was a Mormon, and he's doing his Mormon shit in Russia and fell in love with this girl and was like converting her to Mormon. I saw that one, dude, that guy's a fucking lunatic.

The dude that was like the Mormon... Is he real young? Well, he was talking about how he's really worried when she comes over here and she's walking down the street. Some guy might try to talk to her and he's going to lose his mind over it. And then some dude does talk to her and he gets really pissed off. That might have been a different one. I'm a dude from Utah with a Russian fiancé. But they were both young.

Yes. And they felt like, I don't think, I think she just fell in love with that dude while they were hanging out in Russia. A dude going to skin her. Oh, absolutely. That dude don't hit. Yeah, he don't hit. I remember that dude. There was a Jamaican guy who was a lifeguard who fell in love with a blonde woman from

Pennsylvania. This guy sounds like he is. Oh, yeah. I mean, he was, he was gorgeous. Yeah.

And I mean, she was like, she frumpy? A little bit. Yeah. I'm saying. It was a nice role reversal. I'm saying it's like America,

like on the global dating scale, just being American is worth like three or four points or whatever on the dating, like attractiveness. There was. That's wild. Like a little Jewish princessy girl who had gone on birthright. and met a rich Israeli, and they were just fucking annoying. I hated them so much.

They just fought. The two rich kids? Yeah. Yeah, right. Well, yeah. You'll have that. Anyway, what the fuck were you talking about? Oh, like, we have a reality.

Television is the single greatest contribution of America. No, no, no. It's not the greatest. It just is our contribution. Like, this is what we are. This is what we've done. Donald Trump is not a mistake or an accident. I mean, it was a mistake to elect him.

That's not what I mean. What I mean is like, this is who we are. It is, but we're also like, dude, we make all the best everything. Movies, TV shows, all that. We also are number one in all of that, too. We make great movies and great TV shows. And what are the number one movies and TV shows? Let's like the most consumed.

Is it Scorset? Reality shit, no. Or is it fucking reality television? And goddamn Michael Bay blowing shit up. And there ain't nothing wrong with either of those. I genuinely enjoy 90-day fiancé. Mm-hmm. Oh, by the way, the sketch was 90-day saver.

You had 90 days to decide whether I'm going to let Jesus into your heart. It was very funny. It was funny. It was a great idea, too. I don't know if they just... Well, it was based on your original idea that I guess we could also talk about because... It admittedly was dated. I mean, I felt like when they said that, like I got it.

Well, because it literally was dated. It's an idea I had like seven years ago called Catfish Jesus. It was when Catfish first came out. Another unbelievable show. What a great... fucking show. Yeah. Yeah.

It was, did you see the documentary it was based on to begin with? Yeah. It's like unnerving and like a riveting watch. Like it was wild.

But anyway, that, um, like just getting catfish. Because also at the same time that show, the movie in the show came out, Manta Tayo, it was a hugely high profile

college football star. Had a fake girlfriend. He was like his cousin. That all happened at the same time. So like cat fishing and the idea of catfishing was very in the Zat guy. So I wanted to do a sketch about someone who gets catfished by Jesus. And it's basically the Jesus that they think they know. Jesus' dating profile, but Tinder didn't even exist yet.

It was like, you know, American Jesus, blonde, blue-eyed, ripped all that. And then when they met actual Jesus, he's this Middle Eastern, you know, sandals wearing fucking... Tendry-Hippie guy, though. And I know that. Yeah, I don't remember. Just because I remember when I found out about Tender, my friend John was single. he was one of my trial partners in Miami, and he got on Tinder,

and he showed it to him. I'd say Miami was ahead of Knoxville on the Tinder game. So he shows it to me, right? And I'm like, I'm immediately, I go, you're just shopping. Like, this is window shopping for booty. Uh-huh. He just showed me how you swipe,

and I was like, man, I cannot believe I missed this. This is bullshit. Tell me about it. Okay, fast forward a week. Yeah. And he was like, bro, that one girl just showed up at my house. I was like, what happened? What do you mean?

He goes, she's never been to my house, dude. She found out where I live somehow. And I was like, oh, I'm not upset that I miss this. When those, like, early days of Tinder, A, it was literally just, like, openly and meant to be a, like, hookup app exclusively, right? Like, I'm pretty sure, because I'm pretty sure, like, Bumble or whatever the fuck, whichever one came next was, like, its whole thing was, no, this is like a rel-this. This is, like, Tinder, but for actual relationships. I know that's true. is just for fucking.

Right. I know that's true, but I don't think Tinder was necessarily trying to own that reality. I think Bumble was like, let's all be honest. Yeah.

It's trash people who just trying to get their D.S. I should be clear. When it first came out, I was like, I can't believe I missed this in my, you know,

back in my days. Right. That was my response. But, like, I don't, I don't envy it or, like, the thought of,

like, Katie leaving me and me having to, like, weighed into those waters now. Like, oh my God. it like terrifies me and also like just don't hit the like fuck that like that would not hit for me I'm gonna hire one of those blonde ladies I got in airplane magazines yeah you know those matchmaker people it's just lunch yeah right yeah my man my man be eating five lunches a day he's not even trying to find a soulmate I just I just like any stakes I said it just has just lunch and I'm about that

Uh, quick caveat, before I say this, uh, this is not me. Uh, but I'm bringing it up because I could see it being me or any number of people. I bet a lot of people stay together just because the idea of being alone, first of all, or trying to date so that you don't have to be alone is just so horrendous. Yeah, no, it, it also is not me. That's not why I'm still with Katie. But separately, though, the. idea of dating or having to date now and figure that out with how much everything has changed, how much I have changed, how differently I feel about everything.

And just the whole game, everything about the game is just so much different than when I was playing and the idea of having to figure all that out, man, fuck that. Even if the game was identical. Like that does not hit for me. Even if the game was identical, the fact that we're in our mid-30s is I think where I'm just like, when you don't know who you are in your 20s and you're dating, you can go through all that shit. You have to have more patience.

You don't even know it sucks. I think maybe that part of it would be one of the things that maybe helps because I'd like to think that in your 30s and 40s if you're dating, it's mostly people who are also divorced and broken or whatever. Finish the sentence. I think there's, they got their shit together? No, there's less bullshit and less like, like, they're more. or up front, it's like, we're not going to do this, are we?

Yeah, let's just not do this. Right. Or it's like, well, if you want, we can go back and I can suck your dick and you can fuck my butt or whatever. Yeah. But then we'll never do this again, and we're both fine with that, and we could just say that, right? I agree.

But how many times could you go on a date? Like, go through that motion. And face the reality of, yeah. We're not doing this. Yeah. I mean, wouldn't hit. No, nothing about it would hit. Because that's the other thing you have in your 20s that helps dating a lot.

It's hope. Yeah. A positive outlook about the possibilities of other people and your relationships with them. Yeah. No. Because you're right. Like, I feel like if I had a date right now, there's to be a certain level of like, I know what the fuck I want. Yeah.

And I'm not going to deal with any other stuff. And then I think after three months, I would be like, I'm going to have to loosen up these rules a little bit. Maybe I don't know what I want. Yeah. All right. We got to go. About that time. I wanted to say.

What did you think of the halftime show? Loved it. It was Fuego, right? It was so great. I think I tweeted something like, knowing that it wasn't at all for me. Yeah. And it still hit that hard means to,

I mean, it's like a top five all time to me. And sincerely. Corey took that screenshot of some Chickamauga person being like, I guess we should have expected this coming from Miami. And it's like, yeah, yeah,

you should have expected something awesome. That's why. That's right. Exactly. Yeah. Like, it was super, super Miami in a,

like, hitting way. I guess because of the show or the movie Hustlers, and then that's why Jaylo, that's why JLo did. the pole dance that's the only thing she rocks in that movie that's the only thing i could give to those type of people without it they're still stupid but that's not racist you know what i'm like if you don't like pole dancing i can't say you're being racist right you know what i mean yeah yeah

but every other complaint it's just you're just being a racist yeah yeah it's like this is offensive too much spanish what what's offensive yeah right they dance different in other language in this country i mean yeah but i didn't even mean uh uh American or white when I say it clearly wasn't geared towards me. I meant male. Like this is a male game. This is a male dominated sport and fandom. You don't think that halftime show was that all geared towards males.

I know what you mean, but like both of them had all male backup dancers. Yeah. Jayla's 50, she's hot, but she's 55. I think it was for everybody. I don't listen to their music is what I'm saying. No, I agree with that. I tweeted something as like, I'm not the one to judge this. And what I meant was because I don't listen to this music and don't know anything about it.

But it crushed. But it crushed. And Shakira crushed me. Yeah, it was great. And every time I just happen to see Shakira music video, half-time show, I just fall in love all over again. Have you ever seen Zootopia? It's a really, really awesome kids movie. I have not, but I heard that she just dressed like her character from it.

Katie showed me that this morning. She does this whole thing. She plays a pop star that's a gazelle in Zootopia, and she has a concert in it. And in the concert, she's wearing the... literally the exact same outfit. That movie's from like four years ago. The only thing that we're running into right there with me is gazelles can't be pop stars.

You ever seen a gazelle? They make her like... They're just dumb, deer. I know. They're just like slightly more elegant deer. They really sell it. Is she dumb? I believe so.

They're dumb. I can't remember. I can't remember. Gazelles are dumb. No, but that movie's like got just dripping with social commentary about like the police state and racism and xenophobia and shit in a fucking bunny bunny rabbit

who's a cop movie I love that shit oh dude it's great I took the boys sitting in theater and I 100% liked it I mean it hit for them but dude I was like

enthralled I was like this shit is brilliant when Rush Limbaugh for example he just got cancer fuck him when he when he people like him are like

they're putting this propaganda and now I'm doing Alex Jones into the kids movie I'm like hell yeah yeah it's what you need to do yeah he's uh um

I wanted to plug some things, I guess. Okay. Do you got anything coming out or coming up that you want to plug first or second? I've got some things that I'm dreaming up right now that I'm hoping. I've been kind of wondering about that, you know, what with everything going on? And I'm just curious about what's going on in Trey Crowder's world. Honestly, it's just that I only see you once a week now.

Yeah, I got some things bouncing around up here. So, but I don't have anything that I'm, like, ready to like announce right now. And we're not back on the road to get until March. The lovely Andy and I are doing a new. series. We'll have another video out tomorrow. Couples you know, and it's just little character vignettes, making fun of annoying or otherwise goofy couples. The first thing we did is making fun of ourselves. We did the couple that moved to the city and is back home visiting, and we just made fun of all the annoying

shit we say to our parents when we're back home about what they're feeding the kids and how they need to be living more sustainable lives. The one that's coming out tomorrow, or, well, no, I'm saying that to you, Trey, but this is going to this podcast will be out Wednesday so it'll already be out you can see our second installation where we flip the script and we're going the couple who never left their hometown and I'm pretty proud of it it's pretty damn funny it's yeah so check that out and check out out into the abisket yeah go to well-red comedy dot com W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy dot com to check out our dates we're going to be in Raleigh North Carolina New Orleans Louisiana Washington D.C. Oh I do

have one thing that I could plug eyes. alone I'm going to be at Texas Lutheran University. So I don't know what to expect out of that. I mean, I expect it to hit, but it's just, you know, I don't think I've done a straight-up Christian college of any kind before. I thought that one in Arkansas was created. That was a liberal, that's a liberal arts college. Okay.

But anyway, yeah, Texas Lutheran University on March 3rd, I believe it is. Let me do these dates properly. Raleigh, March 12th, New Orleans, March 27th, Indianapolis, April 2nd through 4th, Washington, D.C., 16th of 19th of April. Atlanta, Georgia, April 25th. God damn it. We got to pop up on my own website and is blocking me. Vancouver, May 8th, Seattle, Washington, May 9th, Minneapolis, Minnesota as part of a comedy festival, June 20th. And then, yeah, that's it. That's all the dates we have right now. We've got some more coming out. I wanted to let y'all know about that. Get those tickets, guys. Yeah, come see us. All right. We'll see you next time. Keep the show in your

thoughts and I don't give a shit about your prayers. But anyway, we'll see you next time. Scoo! Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew.