wellRED podcast - #157 - The Exploding Kittens of Hacienda Heights

Episode Date: February 19, 2020

The boys sit down at Drews house (well, CHO skyped in) to discuss rescue shelters, courtroom procedurals, depression/anxiety, and much more! wellredcomedy.com for tickets! vincerowatches.com promo code RED for 15% off and FREE SHIPPING!

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That's where you can find out where we're going to be on our 2020 tour dates. Coming up, we got March 12th through the 14th in Raleigh, North Carolina, March 27th, in New Orleans, April 2nd through the 4th in Indianapolis. April 16th to the 19th in Washington, D.C. April 25th, we're back in Atlanta for the first time in Foever. May 8th, we're up in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. May 9th, we're in Seattle, Washington. June 20th in Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Minneapolis Comedy Festival

with Nick Offerman, Burke Crisher, Whitney Cummings, Jeff Foxworthy, a whole bunch of people. It's going to be a great time. I can't wait to do it. This podcast, as always, is brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. go to Smokey Boys grilling.com and get all the rubs for all you meats and also carvevodka.com, Jacksonville's first and only craft vodka distillery. Carve your own path is sick. Path is, carve your own path, silly butts.

Anyways, this podcast was recorded. We had to call a slight audible. We recorded this on Skype. If you follow us on YouTube, you can catch the podcast video on YouTube. YouTube.com slash well-read comedy. We had to call an audible because the studio was closed for. President's Day yesterday. Bummer. But we got her done and we talked about a whole

whole bunch of, whole bunch of shit. Exploding kitties and all. Just listen to it or watch it on YouTube. Leave us a five-star review. Tell your friend, subscribe to us on YouTube and come see us on the road. We love you so much. Now on with the podcast. Sets, they care. Way next that makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck. I thought this would hit for you all. So Amber had to go to the gynecologist today.

And, you know, just because we're attempting to have children, so she's getting the checkups and whatever. And she sends me a text and she said, five minutes into this wand being up my snatch, the girl who was doing it was like, oh, my God, is your husband the comedian? And she's like, yeah, well, it gets better. And she's like, yes. And then I text her back. I was like, ha, ha, you can't escape me. and then she called me and she goes yeah it was really funny she was like uh i told her who you were and she's like oh my god i follow all three of them and she and the girl goes now which one is he again and amber i said what'd you tell her and amber goes i said the bald one and i said well that's i said well that's not going to work i always wear i said i said well that's not going to work i always wear a hat

and she goes no she knew she got it immediately so so that's so that hit you I want you to work on a character named Cory Baldwin, and it's the only Baldwin brother that didn't get to be in movies. You just sell cars out in the tri-state area. A couple of them were

busted and still got to be in movies. I was about to say, Danny, he was rough shape. Well, I like that maybe this character it wasn't that he was too busted to be in. Like you were above it.

Like you thought Alec or, was that the first one that broke, probably? He thought he was full of himself, you know? you just like fuck it i ain't you ain't sucking up to none of them yeah i ain't like hollywood just wanted to sell cars core evolved that's not a bad that's not a bad character so i got this story that i've been meaning the tale just okay disclaimer or i guess it's a yeah disclaimer this

is a trigger warning yeah it's a very gnarly story but it's also completely true and also just stick with me to the to the end of it um we have been talking about getting a cat for a long time, like, because the boys want a cat and Katie, and I'm a cat person, Katie likes cats too. Katie has been looking at cats on the internet for, I'm not kidding, months. Because like all these... So, boy. Just why he wants me to get a bird, Corey.

So my bird will eat his cat and he don't have to have a cat no more. You know it goes to other way. It does, yeah. That's why I'm going to put my head over and still murder your bird. Yeah. He doesn't want you to get a fucking salt. Yeah. I've been trying it during.

get into falconry. It's funny because other than I know Andy wants a big bright parrot, literally the only kinds of birds I've thought of was hawks. So that's why my brain did that. I was like, yeah, my bird will move, but you're right. That's the other way around.

There's like two birds that would murder a cat, and those are the only two in my heart. Go ahead. Yeah, but no, I mean, I've been on board with it, but Katie is like, you know, that classic, like we can't decide where to eat lunch type thing. Like she just could not commit

to a cat on the, you get on all these different shelters websites and they all got like Tinder profiles but for cats, you know. And her defense, that is the same lunch every day for 13 years plus. Yeah, no, I mean,

it's a big commitment for sure, but like she's been, it's been going on for a long time. And then finally, so last Sunday, so 10 days ago when you all hear this, like two days, three days before that,

she finally decided on a cat, a kitten, a little kitten at a shelter in Hacienda Heights, which is like inland in Southern California. It's like over an hour away from where we live, like without house heights. Hacienda is a type of, yeah, house or like building. I don't know exactly, but I think.

Yeah, I think it's, that's more of a, you know, that's a loose translation because Kasa also means house. Right. Yeah, I only know. Caledanda is like a state. I only know colloquial Spanish and some people were like, hey, we'll go to the Hacienda and have some beers.

Something like that. Maybe it means the state. I ought to know because I've actually been trying to and not doing great at learning Spanish lately, but I don't know that word. But anyway, I thought you were about to just stop with. I should be a multilingualist. Why do you think I'm trying to learn Spanish? Because I've thought it's like, man,

how do I not know more than one language? It doesn't make any sense. I got to learn one. But anyway, that where it's at will be relevant later it's not close it's a drive so like last sunday morning we all get in the jeep and go out there to the sandal shelter and pick up this precious little kitty who's like very sweet from the jump just let you hold her and she's you know just real cute and sweet and everything's going great the shelter has had her spade and she's got all her shots and all that

shit and they've had her spayed recently enough that she still has the stitches so we're going to have to bring her back later to get the stitches taken out but it wasn't like the day before or whatever so they told us explicitly they covered this and they explicitly stated at the shelter that she did not require one of those cone things that you get when a pet gets spayed or neutered they were like no she doesn't she doesn't need that it won't be a problem cats of this age or whatever they It's like it's not necessary. So we're like, okay, fine. Didn't think any more of it.

Take the cat home. Sunday, it's fine. Monday is fine. She's like taking a little while to get used to the house and warm up to everybody. But by Monday night, she's playing around and doing the cute little, you know, kitten shit. And it's all great. We go to bed Monday night. Cat's fine.

We wake up Tuesday morning and she exploded. The cat exploded everywhere. We walk in. The boy. Bishop gets up. morning and walks into the living room and finds her on a pillow literally disembowled like fucking guts hanging out like a goddamn Oliver Stone movie. I mean, fucking when people think that we're like exaggerated, like the vets office we ended up

taking her to because she's still alive somehow. You should just 7.5 lives at least she's used up, but she's still clinging to the last couple. And we bring them to every, we took her to two different vets places and you could tell when we go in there and we've got this cat. kind of folded up in a pillow, like holding it together. And we're like, yeah, she did something. And she's like her intestines are hanging.

And you can tell they don't believe it. And then they look and they're like, oh, shit. You know, because they told us that pet owners tend to exaggerate a lot when they come in. You know what I mean? They come in with their little purse dog and they're like, she's dying. And she's not dying. And that happens all the time. So they were like predisposed to thinking that we were exaggerating.

And then they would obviously freak out as soon as they saw it. It was clear that, like, this is not a thing that often happens. Did you say that happen more than once? What? Yes. So, right. I kind of getting ahead of myself. I immediately called, I just Googled that emergency room near me.

And there was one in Burbank, like a block over very close. So I called that one. They said, our doctor is not here right now. He won't be here for like an hour and a half. So you need to take her to Glendale to this place that's called. something, something, and the acronym is BCA. Apparently everybody out here knows VCA, but that's just what they told me.

So we all four got in the Jeep, rushed her over to BCA. I have to leave Katie and the kitten there and take the boys back to school and then come back. And when I get back, okay, the vet at BCA had told us that they could operate. There was no guarantee that the operation would save the kitten's life and the cost of the operation was going to be the cost of it, no matter what, each of you guess how much you think that operation was going to cost? $3,000. I've gotten that guess a couple times.

You're not the only one that said that. $9,000. $10,000 to $15,000. Fucking word. I know. And so, like, my friend Irina had to get surgery on her dog's knee, and it was $10,000 is the only reason I said that. And it's the anesthesist, right? I guess.

They were, but they, so, look, man, I don't care what anybody. Like, first of all, I mean, I was this. The main thing was them to, because I asked them, I was like, and you can't, I know you can't, like, guarantee anything, but is that just the thing you say or like, and they're like, no, I mean, you know, she, she may not make it. And you're going to be a lot. And I just couldn't. I told Katie, I was like, I can't. I cannot handle the thing. $15,000.

Plus, you just met that. For a kitten, we just got. I'm not going to say, I'd do it for my dog after I'd had it for a while, but not a new motherfucker. And they were like, and they were like, well, you could, we told them what happened. another thing that pissed me off was it was evident to me that they did not believe us that the shelter didn't give us a cone. They gave us a little write-up and it said, owners claim to have not been provided a cone, but like they didn't give us a fucking, they explicitly said we didn't need a cone. But anyway, they said, you could call the shelter and see if they can do anything. And that's all we can tell you.

So we call the shelter and the shelter is like, oh my God, yeah, take her, take her to our vet, the vet that we use, which is also out there by where the shelter. is in Hacienda Heights. And we'll call them and tell them you're coming. You take them over there. So me and Katie, getting a Jeep, Katie has to hold this cat together with this like pillow while I drive

over an hour out here. We go to this vet's office and we go in. It is like, no, I don't know if I just. Was it not bleeding? That was the weirdest part to me. I think it's like, there was blood around the house

and on the pillow. but not as much as you'd think. I don't know if it's because it's mostly like just an open cavity in there. And it only bled like it would have bled like a cut would bleed. But cuts be bleeding, dude. I mean, I know. I know, man. Tell me about it.

But no, it was weird. But like, we drive out there. We walk in and it was clear that if someone had talked to the shelter, it wasn't the people we were dealing with. Because we had to tell them the situation. And again, you could tell that they were like, okay, sure, her intestines are hanging out. And we give them the cat and they're like, oh, my God, her intestines are hanging out. And now they're like running around like a fucking emergency room situation, which, you know, is good. And me and Kay have sit there for a couple hours and they come out and tell us that the surgery is successful,

but now it's just a matter of seeing whether she will recover or not. We can go home. They'll call us many updates. It's probably going to take a day. You know, she could die at any moment or, you know, within a day or a day and a half, they'll know whether she's going to pull through or not. and she survived, and that was over a week ago, and she's at the house right now with a little pink shirt on to cover up the wound

and also a donut around her neck so she can't get to it. And I lobbied very hard to name her gutsy. Yeah, that's pretty good. I thought that was great because gutsy doesn't, gutsy means brave, courageous, but it's also like, you know what I mean? It's a double thing, but Katie, her name is Stitch, we're named her Stitch. Pretty good. I would have gone with 50 cents.

whatever. Yeah. But another, so a couple other things at that vets office, first of all, Drew, if you ever feel like being around super hitting and dumb ass and awesome bulldogs and bulldog puppies, just drive out to this vet's office, take me. Just dumb bulldogs? It's like they specialize in bulldogs. We went, we had to go back a couple of times. And every time, multiple bulldogs in there, pregnant bulldogs, bulldog, tiny bulldog puppy. Were they British bulldogs?

Yeah, like English bulldog. There was one French and like seven English bulldogs. I don't know if it's that they specialize in it or if it's that those ain't supposed to be. Right. And that's the only places you can go. Right. Yeah. Oh, right.

Yes. Right. Yeah. Either way, if you just want to be around some bulldogs, I'll tell you where to go. But so that was nice because it was like it made it more. It was like a more therapeutic or what am I trying to say? Being there in a shitty situation sitting in that waiting room thinking it's

Oh, but you had all them. It was alleviated by fat bulldog puppies been around. It reminded you of the one that, you still alive, doily? I don't know, probably not. Oh,

yeah. Why? They only lived like eight years. That was like, dude, that was like over nine. I mean, he would be nine or ten now.

Rest and peace to my man. Yeah. I mean, anyway, Georgia's massac a bulldog and we've had like ten of them in my lifetime. You know, like,

they just fucking, and they're the most taken care of bulldogs on earth. On earth. Right. I appreciate. I appreciate. we've had two smokies. Maybe not my whole life, but that I've been aware of that we, you know, since I was eight,

we've had two smokies. So a couple of the things, they, the people at the vet who finally took care of it, they were like, when we told them, because they work with that shelter all the time, and we told them that they were like, why didn't she have a cone on? And we were like, they didn't, they was like, did they not give you a cone? And I said, not only did they not give us a cone, they explicitly told us that she did not need a cone. And when I said that, the lady at the vet's office was like, who, who, no, like, what was her name? Like, who at the shelter told you that, like, because you can tell

that, like, and at the first of it, it was clear to me that that fucking cat should have had a goddamn cone on. Of course. And I, and I don't know why, because that's what happened. If it isn't clear to people by now, that's why they put that cone on them is so they don't do this to themselves. I thought they just would like lick the stitch out. Well, they do, but then that's all. And then everything falls apart. Yeah, right. That's what happened. They pick at it. That's so stupid.

And then it opens up. And then it ain't always this bad. But like, dude, she probably, it was the middle of the night. She was probably out there for hours with it. Like, I'm sure it wasn't that bad at first. Do you know what I mean? And then she's just cat around. And then are your kids.

She was meowing and they did not wake up. They were deep sleeping. No. And if she was meowing, none of us. And Katie wouldn't. By the moment she was knocked out. She didn't have nothing left. I'm in the middle of the middle.

night, like, that's the other thing you think she would have been like... So I'm saying. Well, nobody... I mean, I could buy that I would sleep through it and that the boys would sleep through it, but, like, I would have thought Katie would have heard it. Well, I would say it wouldn't last very long. It sounds like she got into a bad way. It takes a lot of energy to scream, you know?

Yeah, but anyway, she survived miraculously somehow, and I got to say, like, I'm, like, very, very bonded to this cat. I don't like, I'm like, I don't want anything that, because I feel like, you know, did you have to say? She's really like, oh, that was, I'm glad you said that. That was the other thing I was going to say. I can't believe this happened because, like, in my mind, I was like, once I, this all played out, in my mind, I was like, well, this is the shelter's fault. Of course.

Whoever this lady is that did this. So they should cover this, but I was like, but you know they won't. That's just not how the world works. They told you to take it there. Right. But they did. We didn't have to pay a dime for it. They covered completely between the...

Do you think Judith got fired? I don't know. I don't want to cost them by their job. If it's the third or fourth time they've done it, but if there was a one person, they were specifically wondering about, you know, if they were like, what's the name? Because I'm going to tell on this new person

that apparently has done this, then, yeah, I agree. That's fucked up. But if they were like, this keeps happening, who did it? Fucked that. Yeah. I mean, and also like, look, if they fuck my order up at like Wendy's and I come back and they're like, who was it that took your order?

Yeah, I'm not going to say shit because that's whatever. But like in this situation, now you've got a snitch on that. Yeah, because how many other times is that going to fucking happen? And then somebody might end up just actually having to shell out $15,000 for it because they don't know this whole situation. So now fuck that. Here's the other thing that I was going to say about it. It makes it even more Hollywood.

So that BCA place turns out and multiple people have told, we realize this while we were there. and multiple people have since told me this, that live out here when I've told them this story. That's apparently like, that's like the place. Like, it's like, yeah, it's like where, like, Paris Hilton takes her dog when, you know, fucking accidentally takes coke or whatever happens.

But like, like, it's like the place. They got a rehab room in the back. Yeah. So, like, but we didn't know that. And the photos got to itches. But that's part of why it costs so much. But so while we're there, I'm standing over it. Dude, it's early in the morning.

just come out of nowhere. I'm in my jammies, basically. I got on sweatpants and like a fucking hoodie and like my goochie's on. My Gucci slides. It's just looking awful and I'm very stressed out. And I happen to notice across the way there's this guy in a suit holding a little dog in his lap across the waiting room. And I start thinking, I'm like, that guy is staring at me. And like, this is always weird for me like still because there's no, there is no explanation for it for me because I'm not a sexy lady or sexy man. There is other than like either he knows who I am or because I'm in Hollywood, maybe I've crossed past to that guy in a pitch meeting or something and I don't remember it,

but it's got to be something like that. And that's weird because if it's the first, it's like it might be someone crazy or weird or whatever, but if it's the second, you really should say hi. Right. Yeah. It's weird for me. And also I'm just socially awkward in a lot of ways and shit too. So it's like it's always a weird situation for me.

I wasn't going to say anything. Then the guy comes up to me and he's like, you're Tri Crowder, right? And I said, yeah. And he's like, I'm a, man, I don't know if I, okay, I guess I won't name the show, even though it shouldn't matter. But he was like, I'm a writer and producer on some big, long running network procedural, one of those cop shows like, like Law & Order CSI, 911, those types of things.

Name all the ones that it's not. Right, yeah. But, you know, all the ones with the spin-out. You know what I'm talking about. about those kind of shows. He was like, I'm writer-producer on Blank. Do you want to do the show? And I was like...

You got your cat's guts in your hand? He's covering kitty blood or whatever. And I was like, yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, well, you got in mind. But... That was actually... That's how you get in out here, Trey. You didn't know that.

You got to have kitty blow on your body. Did I jump down? Well, I told Katie when we left, I was like, if I end up getting on NCIS for the... It's N-CIS. If I end up getting on N-N-C-S... ask for this. We don't know which one. We don't know which one. Be cutting their own cats open just to if they think that that's what the secret is for some reason. I'm about to tell you all. Not that I, but you know, but I don't, by the way, I, I've been in touch with him more. He's a nice

guy. I don't know that that is going to happen or anything. And I, that's, I don't, why would I expect that to happen? But, um, but, but yeah, I just, it was so, everything about it was so surreal and weird. Right. Including that. And I was like, it's already a while. that story, if the epilogue to the story is me playing like a clan member who gets shot by FBI

agent or something, like it's just going to be, you know, extra wild. And they fuck up the blanks and it actually kills me. My guts spill out everywhere. Yeah, fucking Brandon lead or whatever. I almost said... The raven. That movie was the raven.

It was the crow, but yeah. Yeah, you're right. I almost said you didn't say which NCIS, but there's only one NCIS. There are multiple CSI. No, no, no, there's NCIS, LA, there's NCIS. There's just like CSI, there's multiple S. And so someone, this, I wanted to write this into one of our shows. Now, what I'm about to say I know is horrible, but it's also so undeniably funny, but it's horrible.

So everyone out there listening, I'm aware that this is horrible. This is not something I said. This is just something that happened in a conversation, but I thought it would be funny. in a TV show. Someone goes, NCIS, S-C-C-I, I get them all confused. What's the difference? They were talking about those two shows.

And someone goes, well, the N. And I started thinking the N-word. Like, the difference is the N-word, and it has a black guy in it. And I started to say that without realizing what I was saying. Like, I was trying to just, like, literally, literally, no, not even making a joke about the N-word. I was literally just making a dumb joke.

Well, the difference is whatever the N-word is. I don't know what the N stands for. I literally don't know what the N-word is in that. What is the end? I don't know. Is it national? I don't know, but probably. So I was going to very stupidly joke, the difference is whatever the N-word is.

Right. And LL Cool J is in N-C-I-S. So I'm like, I almost said it out loud. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I couldn't tell anybody but Andy. I don't know if national or naval. National don't make sense. Well, if you don't know what it is, don't ever catch yourself saying, well, whatever the N-word is,

because I almost did that. I said a thing. I had one of them moments this week where I thought a thing, but then I actually did say it. It was, we were hanging out, me and a bunch of my friends, and Amber's brother was over here.

And one of my friends hadn't seen a long time, Seth was over there, and he was like, he was catching up with Derek. And he's like, oh, Derek, I hadn't seen you in a while, blah, blah, blah. He goes, what grade were you in? You were younger than me, right? And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was, you know,

whatever grade he's in. He goes, oh, yeah, you're the ones, y'all's team, one region. And Derek's like, yeah, yeah, we won region that year and Amber started blushing which I never see her blush and I'm like what were you what's so weird about them winning region and Derek goes oh Amber tell him tell everybody your we won region story and Amber goes uh well so the year that they won region it was uh you know Derek was on the team and Lloyd your brother-in-law was on the team it was that whole

group and uh they were playing pretty good and I told them that if they won region I would show them my titties and so I was like hell you yeah, you know, rock and roll. Sorry, Derek, but yes, that's her brother. And I was like, that's awesome. Then she started looking again. And I go, so, like, I bet they were happy about that. And she goes, well, that's the thing.

I didn't, I never showed them my titties. And I had been drinking and boy, I got fucking irrationally mad. Like I was like, you fucking, you, what? You didn't show them your, I was like, you've showed a hobo your titties. These are champions. And so, these are champions. It's been fucking 15 years. And so, yeah, it has been 15 years.

And so then she starts going, yeah, you're right. I really should have done it. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go, yeah, you fucking should have. That's bullshit. And she goes, well, okay, would it make you feel any better? And would it make you mad if I just rounded all of them up today and showed them my titties?

And then I said something I should have just thought in my head, which was, them ain't the titties they won region for. Oh my God. I mean, that's quality, though, as far as a line goes. I mean, yeah, obviously, ill-advised. No, she started to get hit for her. Just she couldn't not recognize it at hit. Right.

Then she started screaming about how her teeth is hit harder now in front of everybody. She's downstairs. She's heard. She goes, they do. Well, hey, you scream back down at her. tell her I won't region. What's all steak? She said, we'll just round everybody up and she'll pull them out.

This is so Raven in terms of the difference between me and you. I thought that, but didn't even realize what I was saying and then didn't say it. You thought it, knew what it was, and then threw it out there. Hell yeah. Because I knew was going to hit. I guess that is a huge difference. It would have hit for no one if I'd have said that. I wasn't even like, you know what I mean?

Like nobody would have been excited that I said that. They would have been like, what? Yeah, right. I did one of those ones. Well, I might have said this one before, but I can't remember. But it was also like, me and Katie were like, like, playfully arguing, like, just like that. Like, it wasn't a serious thing. But I thought that I had, like, fucked up because we're, I can't remember the context

that it's just been years ago. I just remember the ending. She said something about being like, she says something like, yeah, because you just act like I'm just a trophy wife or something like that. And I was like, my participation trophy wife.

And in my head, I was like, but, you know, like you said, it hit for her. She just laughed at it luckily. That was my favorite,

that reminds me in one of my favorite moments on everybody loves Raymond when fucking Marie comes in there and she's talking to Frank. She's like, he just treats me like I'm his trophy. wife and there's obviously huge applause break and frank just goes what contest in hell did I win yeah yeah that's a good show no oh oh okay you froze up for match you froze just like yes yeah yeah no i was going to say it got me to thinking about those procedures and like thinking about the prospect of being on one potentially because it's not something that's ever

crossed my mind before because I'm, you know, I'm comedian. And like, but I got to thinking, I never thought the opposite. I just had never really thought about it. But, you know, like, there's this. Or was it comedian? Right. But all I'm trying to say is I think there's this to a lot of people that are like kind of TV snobs or whatever, which like I kind of am.

I don't, Katie, like, loves law and order. I don't hardly ever watch. shows. But I'm not the type to ever shit on them either because to me it's like that's insanely difficult to do that in a week out. But in thinking about the prospect of being on one, it's just

like, you know how rad it would be to like be a fucking thief or a terrorist or something on a show? And then you got a gun and you get to hold a hostage, you get shot, just play cops and robbers. And like, it would be fucking awesome, man.

It's also a check. Fuck it. I mean, right. There is that. And related to that, you know, if you're on a successful one, it's going to be sweet trailers, sweet food. You're going to work with professionals. The guns are going to look rad. You're probably going to get a lot of scenes,

you're going to get to learn how to fight or something cool. You know what I mean? Yeah, that'd be rad as hell, dude. Also, playing a bad guy on anything. I can't think of any scenario we're playing a bad guy wouldn't hit. Maybe one of those, like, goofy Nickelodeon kid show where the bad guys would hit. It's so cartoonish it would hit.

Yeah, right. I think playing a background in any context. Funny bad guy, serious bad guy. Yeah, being the bad guy, that hits. And going back to Richard Belzer, he is on, is it in Law & Order? It was the first one, right? It was the OG, the OG. But he was also, I'm pretty sure he's one of those crossover dudes.

Wasn't he on David Simon's first show set in Baltimore called Homicide Life on the Streets? I don't know. Because, I mean, I remember that show. Brad Browler was like... Yeah, that show was awesome. That shows, yeah, like the total precursor to the wire and everything. I remember Andre Brower being on that show, but I can't remember who else was on. I know he was.

He was that light-skinned black dudes partner, and they would have arguments about race. That was like part of, that was baked into the show. God, David Simon's such a fucking genius. These dudes would fight, because I'll never forget, they're interviewing this dude. They're cross-examined. What are they called? Not interview, not cross-examined. I should know.

I thought you should know this. Quite literally. My job. They're interrogating this dude, and he was this crazy, like, you know, serial killer manifesto dude, and he was racist. And Belster's interviewing him, and his partner comes in, and he goes, hey, I was just talking to him. You know what he said? He said black dudes are dumb. He said that they're statistically less intelligent than white men, and the fucking little serial killer.

He's like tiny and smurphy. He gets all uncomfortable because his giant black detectives in there now. And the black dude goes, yeah, yeah, but we get the big dicks, right? Like that's the tradeoff, right? Like, we got huge dicks, but we're dumb. I'm fucking fine with that. And it was so goddamn funny to me as a 13-year-old. Right.

Because they totally tricked this dude into confessing, you know what I mean? And then he punched him at the end, too. Let's take a quick time out here so I can tell you about our new friends over at Vincero watches. Typically finding a watch that is high-quality, good-looking, and precise cost a pretty penny. Vincero watches is here to change that. Vincero creates an exceptionally crafted watch, and they do it without breaking the bank. Vincereo is our newest sponsor and we could not be more excited. The guys over at Vincerao were nice enough to send us some time pieces.

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promo code red, and now back to the podcast. I was just thinking about you as a logger. like in your capacity as a public defender being meeting a client for the first time and he's like so tell me what happened and he's like so the cops you know they arrest me and then you're like right so they take you in there and when they're there was that you know the were they asked you the question what is that word what is that interrogate right anyway so they're interrogating you and that person just kills themselves so I guess I got to stop smoking weed because literally last night I saw a billboard for a new show called Interrogation. And I stared at it a long time because I hate that billboard for a variety of reasons.

You're just sitting there high as fuck. Just got fuck this goddamn billboard. Yeah. We were going into the comedy store and there's one right by the comedy store. That's why I knew I saw it because I went to a comedy store yesterday. You can't see their faces

which means they don't have a star. That's right. They don't have a big name is why they do that. But as a billboard, I'm like, I don't even know what's fucking going on in this picture. and then, you know, there's two R's in the word interrogation. I don't know if you're aware of that. They're, where they're back to back, Corey, they're like, one of them is backwards.

Yeah. And it just looks, it doesn't look cool. Yes. Huh? Like the Rolls-Royce symbol, which does look cool. That does look cool. This particular font they're using doesn't look cool. Anyway, I'm looking at it, and I'm like, man, they fucked up on that billboard.

And then literally today, I couldn't think of the word interrogation. That was last night. I smoked weed last night And just Most people smoke weed Get so happy, Relaxed Watch a movie

Drew Gets angry inanimate objects Words Just words Yeah No I First of all

I saw the billboard sober And I hate what they did with it Okay But second of all He was not high While staring at this billboard In rage Joe He was stone cold sober

He's I don't Fury I do get happy And relax I smoke weed and then that it's like a plus some theory. When I'm happy the night before, because I smoked weed,

the next day it's got to come out of me. Right, yeah, because you're still in happiness. Nope, that ain't true. I just remembered on End of the Abisket this week, I recorded the very end of it last night while high, and it's just a fucking just rant about how everything is worthless. Well, there is that type of high too. Right.

It's everything is meaningless. we're specs in a fucking cold. And I almost exclusively get that high, which is why I don't get high anymore. Like I haven't, I can't remember the last time I smoked weed or took an edible because like the ratio, it got to where it was like 80, 20,

like 20% of the time sincerely loved it. Best night of my life, I'm so happy for this. But it got up to like 80, 20. And I was like, man, this just ain't fucking worth it. It turns on you, man. And I stopped smoking for like three,

four years other than very occasionally. And then lately, I don't know, it hadn't been doing that to me. I'll take the edibles, but I take like a such a small like get it the whole edible is three milligrams which is nothing to most people at fuck a wheat and I don't even I eat a half at a time. Yeah. And so it's just like it will just chill me out a little bit, make Netflix hit a little bit harder maybe, but you know, I'm in no danger of the void because I had the exact same thing. I'm, I'm, I think I'm done.

I mean, maybe there's one day like it'll have to be like a vacation situation where I've got enough time to where if. it happens, I can still make the rest of it hit. But like, you know, we've been busy with some shit and, and, uh, I had some stuff with Amber and like, if I've only got a couple hours, I don't want to risk it sucking. So I just don't do it. Because then my next day is a complete fucking nightmare too, because I can't sleep. I stay up all night thinking about how my goddamn career is over, about how Amber's going to fucking leave me, how I'm never going to go pro.

And so you know, all that shit. Not with weed. I do that with alcohol. A little chow all grown up. Yeah. I only do it at the end. of the day. Like when kids are asleep, everything is over.

I got nothing else going on. Nothing else to think about what the team is. I'll say this. If I've already been drinking, it's not nearest. Like, if I've already been drinking, I've had like 12 drinks or something, but I'm talking about like, take a little bit, then I'll just go to sleep. But if I take... You don't ever get cross-fated? Oh, dude. But I'll go to...

But see, that's my thing. I can go to sleep, though. But, like, when I take weed completely sober, ballgame, like, if it's, if it ain't good, I'm in it for eight hours, and it don't hit, and there's no getting out of it. Luckily, I've always been the type, you know, I fucking, like, if I, drinking or no drinking, if I fuck around and get way too high and it's the void, like, I can lay down and go to sleep. That's such a cheat code.

Oh, yeah. If I could do that, then I would never have quit doing it. I'd just, if it got bad, I'd just go to bed, but I can't, you know, I'll be having trouble sleeping anyways. You do be. I have trouble staying asleep. This morning I made it for like eight and a half hours. I slept for eight and a half hours, and I was super hype. It's been like three or five the past few nights.

This might not be monumental to anybody listening, but it might be to y'all. I woke up in the middle of the night and had an idea for a bit. And I was reaching from my phone to write it down. And my phone was out of reach. And I was like, fuck it. I'll remember it in the morning, which as you know never works out. And I did. First thing this morning, I remember a bit.

Isn't that crazy? Did you say you just said bit or did you say big hit? It will be a big hit, but I said bit. Well, you kind of, you sort of like glitched right into that word, so it kind of sounded like big hit, but I thought for a second that you said baguette. Hadn't I do for a new type of baguette? Did it hit?

You know, sometimes you remember when they don't hit? No, it was both. It was not only did I remember it, but when I got up, I was like, oh, that's actually, no, it's really good because it was a tag to a bit that already hits, but like, no, it worked. Like, I was like, man, I'm so. And I've always heard from people that are like,

You know, most of the time, if it is good, you will remember it, and you don't remember the shitty ones. I don't believe that either. I agree with that. But again, this did, it did happen to me last night. I woke up, immediately fucking remembered it, wrote it down, and it's good. It's good stuff. Do you guys ever heard, did we talk about this podcast, second sleep?

Is it this podcast to be talked about that on? So before electricity, like, there was kind of like, you know, oil lamps was the best you could do. most people would just go to sleep about dark. And in the winter, in the northern hemisphere, that's like fucking 5 p.m. You know, earlier some places. So what would happen is that you'd wake up at like one in the morning

and just be awake till 5 or whatever. And then by oil or whatever light, a lot of people would write them. And there's like some theories. It's very reddit, very unprovable theories, but there's a lot of talk out there about how that time period produced a shit ton of like weird like Edgar Allan Pope supposedly wrote during that time. One thing you, but then also you go back to sleep. Yes.

Right. Yeah, yeah. You don't just that you wake up at one and then you do shit. And then you ultimately go back to sleep. And there's now scientific evidence that your brain is different at that time. Well, your brain is slightly connected to the subconscious and dream world. I could. You will anyway.

It's not in the middle of the night for me. So maybe that does make a difference because that's very Agriall and Poe time of day. It's very raven time of day, the middle of the night. But I kind of do that pretty frequently because I'll have to get up. I'll go to bed at like midnight and then I have to get up at like six or something sometimes because of the boys. They go to school at 8.30 and I will go back to sleep at 9 for like 2 or 3. more hours. And let me tell you, for me, that time period, that ain't it? No, it's the worst time of my whole day. That's the best for me. Really? Because I just all I'm, the whole time I'm like,

oh, I can't wait to get back in that bed. Or like when we do radio, you know, same thing. We have to get up early as hell to go do radio. Then I come back and go back to sleep. And that interim period does not hit. I think I hit harder at radio than I did when we used to do Q&As. It's the same kind of scenario, right? You're thinking on your feet. I'm interacting with you guys in an audience, except when we're doing it live, there's no parameters. I know everybody I'm talking to, and I'm very comfortable around you. So I should be worse at morning radio because I can't cuss and, you know, I'm talking to strangers and you guys or whatever. I think I'm better at it, and I think it's because of that time of day thing. Yeah, that's just if I, if I,

now, as long as I've had good sleep, when I wake up, I could, I would prefer to start riding early in the morning. Number one for me, that's the only time I'm ever really alone here at the house. Because if I wait until later during the day, Amber comes over, Christy's over here, Kirby's running over here with the baby doing some bullshit. And then I just, all this other stuff happens and my ADD kicks in. But right there in the morning, I'm fresh. I've got one thing on my mind and I can do it. And that's just, yeah, that's it for me. And so if I go a day and I don't write some shit in the morning, then it's just a waste. And I start getting anxious all day. And I hate myself.

Don't help. no don't hit no no um i don't know how much time we've done but as i told you all before we started i'm about to have to leave because i got to be home by a certain time so y'all can finish her up without me uh yeah i thought about now and they're mine anyway the uh the kid is fine i was worried at first that like you know she like pulled through but it would be all there'd still be some fucked up and that's going on which i mean is like i mean i guess it's still possible but now we're a week plus removed from it.

And she has seemed totally fine. She's been pooping regular? I mean, yeah. Everything seems normal. You know, knock on wood. Because, like,

we get this far and then she just fucking employs. It's wild as your guts can just fall out and then you just put them back and then they still work. Well, it's weird because,

like, in a way, it almost seems like, like, that's what should happen. It's like, yeah, just slide them back in there. It'll be fine.

but at some time, you know, there's like folds and, you know what I'm saying? Well, they told us at the VCA place. They're like, well, it's not just as simple as putting them back in there. We may have to remove certain parts and sew them together because those parts may have been irrevocably damaged by the process or whatever. Paris Hilton's fucking vet surgeon was trying to give your goddamn cat cosmetic surgery. I thought it was like, you know, like when you go to get your brakes on the mechanic and he's like, oh, you got all this other stuff.

We're definitely going to have to do, too. So we're going to have to do, too. Yeah, four or five or more dollars. I'm about jerked your headphone out. I agree with you. That is what it is. And I'm saying part of that was cosmetic. They're like, it's don't look right.

Right. How many Dorado crumbs do you think are just inside that Cats Bailey Loops? Well, he said that they took him in the Jeep. There ain't no telling the dust that was just flying in there. And Dorito crumbs and everything else, yeah. That's true. Did you have a top down? No, man.

There's probably got smog in that cat. Flopping in the fucking. I used to mind now I got to get my smog check. That don't hit. Getting the smog check? Yeah. I mean, it does, but it don't. Right.

I'm not saying it ought not be a thing, but it don't hit to have to do. Here's something that don't hit that I'm going to have to do. I got this thing right here, and I'm pretty sure I've argued with y'all before. Maybe it's Andy. We're like a dermatologist. I don't remember arguing with you about your face, but I'm sure that it turned into that. Well, I went to the dermatologist, and she was like, it's a type of freckle. I know that sounds.

weird because it doesn't look like a freckle, but it's the same thing as a freckle. Don't worry about it. I think it was Andy I was arguing with because Andy's like, fuck that, go to another one. And I'm like, no. Anyway, it's been hurting lately. That's what I'm saying. Well, dude, you know, my whole, my eyes situation, I've been to a bunch of different doctors and they all told me different versions of like, sorry, can't do nothing about it. Your eyes don't hit. Your eyes don't hit. But they were like...

One of the worst cases I've ever seen of not hitting eyes. But weren't they like, this is this weird thing and blah, blah, blah. This lady was literally like, that's the most routine shit I've ever seen. Yeah, it wasn't, nobody treated as routine. You know, like, what are you wasting her time with? It's like, it's a freckle, you fucking dumb ass. Well, no, not. But like, literally a freckle is the most, you know what I mean?

Right, yeah. Inocuous thing. Yeah. It literally means cute. That is funny. You're a freckle-faced kid. It is funny that you full-on went to a dermatologist and she's like, are you, you what are you talking about the freckle?

Is it around the freckle or? You mean the freckle? That's a freckle. And she's like yours, but stupid. Just so anyone out there listening isn't confused, it's like almost as big as a dime. It's very much not look like a damn freckle. No, it does.

And that wasn't her attitude. But that is like the conclusion. Another funny thing about that is if this is cancer and it's going to kill me, if I get murdered by like what is just known worldwide, I was supposedly the cutest thing in the world. Right. Just like something adorable. Freckle cancer killed Drew.

Yeah. Worst case we've ever seen. And anyway, I finally went to another doctor that now has told me he can fix my shit. So like maybe you should, second opinions are a thing for a reason. Maybe you should go to another one. Well, yeah. This one lady told Trey his cat didn't need a cone. Right.

You know. Doctors especially, some people think that like they're, you know, infallible. but like dude they don't so many of them they don't want to fuck they're talking about I agree Amher's cousins are doctors and it changed my whole fucking outlook on the whole situation like dude they've said some things right like you yeah goddamn all right I bet they've made some reason championship promises themselves but um it's a freckled though

sure like like I feel like part of the reason I'm confident is like you can't mess that up and even be a doctor. Right, but you're, why, okay. But now it hurts. Preckles ain't supposed to hurt. No, preckles don't hurt. I have to go. All right, maybe I'll buy a seat.

Bye, skew. Meck about to lose his mind. Get that check out. Get that freckle checked out. Oh, get my freckle checked out. I thought he were telling me to get my check out. I was like, I'll show you my check, man. I signed it, B-Rabbit.

All right, he's gone. What the fuck is he? going to do? Well, I think Katie had to leave, and he didn't realize she did when he agreed to do this time with us. So he has to go watch his kids. Yeah, once she goes to the post office for 10 hours. Speaking of, I got to go to the post office. How do you feel about mailing drugs? What's your... Well, first off, I just mailed something at all for the first time the other day in my whole life. I've never mailed a thing. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. I mean, I probably was like 20-something before I did that. Like, no, like I mean like a, like, you know, I've mailed, I guess, No, I don't know that I've ever mailed letters because why would I? But I had to, me and my buddy, this is going to make me sound worse than I already did. Me and my buddy are like, we have like this sort of like comic book exchange program where like I'll have one that hits. I'll send it to him. He'll send me one that he thinks hits.

And it's like a pen pal, but for nerds. And there was the first time I was doing that and I went down there. And luckily I know the post office dude. And I just sat it down and he just did it all for me. And like just while we were having a conversation. but when I was walking in there, when I was walking in there, I was like, oh, God, damn, it's Barry, and he's going to have to find out that I don't know how to do this. That's really cute for a variety of reasons. And the number one is you think that since you know that guy, he just did his job.

Well, no, what I'm saying is like most, well, no, I know it is, but like there was the envelope stuff that I'm supposed to grab, but he just grabbed it and then put the mark in and said, where are you sending this to? I know that I'm at least supposed to be the one that fills it out, right? I mean, they prefer that, but if you just go up there and be like, no. I mean, you know what I mean? It's like, I don't know. Okay. We'll see what you're kind of explaining my whole situation. I don't know.

I have no fucking idea. What I'm realizing is maybe I don't know either actually. Because sometimes I feel stuff out and go up there. And sometimes I just walk up there and say, can I just tell you where I want to send this place? And then they say yes. Yeah. I mean, I had my mind. Go ahead.

No, I mean, I had it in my mind that that's what I was going to do. do. But then also in my stupid show brain, I was like, he's going to go fucking tell everybody. I don't know how to use the mail. I mean, but to me, it's like you go to the mail. I agree with you. I agree with you. You go to the mail and here's my mail. And they're like, where would you like to mail this to? And you tell them.

If you literally went, if you literally went, my buddy Dave and that was it, then I would be like, well, you don't know how mail works. Yeah, yeah. No. No. But if you're like, here's my money. here's where I need this to go. Yeah. And it is intimidating because they got all them boxes now. That's what I'm saying. Like I didn't know what, and I was like, do I need a stamp?

Like how many stamps goes on a comic book? Yeah, they got away it. Yeah, and they did all that shit. And like I walked out of there just like at 32 years old. Like, yeah, really fucking doing it today. Went to the fucking post office. You had a first. It's nice to have firsts.

Yeah. I have them a lot. That's the beauty about me. Yeah. I've had so many firsts. How many big firsts do you have left? You got first kid if you ever have a kid. Kids,

kids definitely divorce. I was going to say first second wife is a big one. Yeah, but right now. I think I've got my first cancer coming in. Yeah, I don't have that one because I got a house. So that was first time I lose the house.

Bankruptcy, that'll be a first. That would be a big one. Yeah. I mean, Was her? Grand kid. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess. Been laid, and I've been to Seattle. And what else do you need? Been laid in Seattle? I don't think I've been late in Seattle. I don't think I have. Let me take Sandy later and see if she's ever been to Seattle. And he's like, I've been late in Seattle.

I don't know what the fuck your problem. No, that wasn't a question at all. Yeah, I just can't remember if we went together. That's a good point. I should make specific requests. you know, first orgy. I guess that's, you know, butt stuff. You've got some of those things.

Those are good. What is it? I think at this point in my life, I'm looking forward to last. Fuck first. I'm trying to have last. That's my deal. Yeah. What about the last time?

You might not know. What about the last time you have to pretend to like somebody that you don't like? I don't know what age that is, but there's definitely, like, I see. ages and then there's amounts of money. And then I guess there's mental illness where you literally don't give a fuck about society anymore. Those are the only three ways I know to get to it. Yeah. Well, or somebody can just do something where you're like, you know what?

I can't possibly be nice to this person anymore. It's like they could say something that was so. I mean anybody. Oh, oh, that. Literally never again in my life will I pretend to like someone I don't like. Oh, yeah. I see. I think for me it'll have to be age instead of money because.

If I just got a lot of money right now, I would still be like, well, this will go away and then that person will still exist, you know, and then I was just a dick to everybody. But you don't have to be a dick. You just, like, I'm not even talking about like being a dick. I realize that you guys have painted me into a very dark corner here on the well red podcast, and that's the role that I play. But I'm not talking about being a dick. I'm more mean of just like, you don't have to pretend to care. You know, like if somebody's like talking to you about something and, you know, like, if somebody's like talking to you about something, and it's not like you would be like, go fuck yourself.

You'd just be like, no. Like, you ever, like, tell somebody no without giving them an explanation? Yes, I think they interpret that as being a dick. Well, fuck them. That ain't being a dick. You ever just have someone being a conversation? You just go, no, bye. I ain't being a dick.

What are you talking about? But why were you in that conversation? I mean, you're painting as if we're sitting around talking, everything's going well, and then you just up and leave. But you know how, like, sometimes people approach you and they, like, ask you to do something, and, like, you can't even believe they're approaching you. with this shit. This is not something I'm interested in, and we barely ever talked.

And you say no, and here's why and blah, blah, blah, you know? Actually, I kind of, yeah, sometimes I do things like that a little bit where like... We all do. Right, and it's, and I'm not old. 32's not old, but like you start realizing, like, how really little time there is. You get busy, and then you're like, I'd only have so many things. And like, someone starts talking to you. And then I have gone like, hey, I don't mean to be this guy, but like, I can't really

spend 30 minutes on this because I don't really give a fuck about it. So anyways, call me when you want to talk about sports. I'll be there for that. But like, I don't really give a shit. Like, people just start going on and on and on about fucking, like, local drama and shit. And I'm like, they, they, I could go home. And in the time we've had this conversation, I could watch a show that was written that's better than this. Like, their drama is better.

Why are you, why do you care about what so-and-so said about so-and-so at the fucking beauty shop? And then, oh, well, if she finds out and blah, blah, blah, blah. Just go home and watch fucking reruns of friends. They did it. And there will be a time in your life. You may not know when it is. And it may just be because, you know, you didn't know it, but that night you were going to fall off a balcony and die. But there will be a moment in your life where it is the last time you ever do any version of that.

Yeah, that'll hit. That's what I'm saying. That'll be really good. That's a good last. Yeah, I think that if I had, I think, I don't know what the amount of money is and I don't know what the age is. But I know that there's a certain amount of money that could probably make the age be a little lower. and there's a certain age that could make the amount of money be a little lower. You know what I mean?

There's like a curve there. Like if I had four. Well, you see it in old people. Oh, dude. It's quite literally the only thing to envy old people. When you're old, whether you have money or not, like if your physical ability start to go, you know, you can't feed yourself or wipe your own ass, you got that. You've seen and done it all. Like, what is there left for you?

So you don't have those firsts we were just talking about. You realize that you're kind of a burden on. society at some point. If you're not already, you will be soon. You're afraid your faculties are going to leave if they're not already leaving. All that's going on. But one thing that you have is that you genuinely don't give a fuck what people think about you. And again, not in a way where you're pretending to.

Right. And again, not in the way where you're pretending to, but you're going so far that direction. It's actually clear that you very much care what people think about you. You just want them to be afraid of you. Not that. We're talking about straight up. Yeah, genuine. If I have to interact with you, I will, but I don't care what you think or, you know, what you need.

Like, not like if you fell down in front of me, I wouldn't help you up, but just more like if you're trying to get me anything out of me that I don't want to give you, you're not getting it. Even pleasantries. I love that in old people. Yeah, I don't have it like that, but I do have like, I'll tell people used to when people would be like, hey, we're all, like, let's say we're all at my house and everybody's like, hey, we're going to go downtown and drink. used to, I'd just be like, oh, well, they've asked me and everybody's here, so I better go. But now I can just go, no, I don't want to do that. And they'll just be like, oh, come on, why? And I'll just be like, you could sit here for two hours and do this.

That does not work on me anymore. And they're like, fucking, all right, whereas used to, you'd call me a pussy once, say that we never see each other. And I'm fucking there. And I'm like, yeah, I don't want to go. And so I'm not going to go. You're wasting your time. By the time you get there and are an hour in, you won't remember that I'm not there anyways. So just call me to my.

and tell me who fucked who. When you did that, when they tried to get you to, and they would like, what, that's a, there's a word for that. I can't think of words. Oh, no, no, no. That's like what you would have. I'm saying, they try to go up me with that. Yeah, peer pressure.

Yeah, I can't stand it. When you were susceptible to it and you went, did you end up having fun? Yeah, I mean, I would end up having a couple drinks and then be like, oh, yeah, I'm having a good time, but still most of the time I would, like, I think I still wish I'd have stayed at home. Like, I feel bad the next. day and I also feel bad about myself because I didn't stand up for myself and I did something that everybody else wanted me to do. But like, yeah, I don't, I don't, any type, because peer pressure just

overall pisses me off now. I try by us, know it to people. Like, when I, if I asked somebody do something, they're like, no. And I'm like, okay, that makes you happy, whatever. I mean, I'm, I'm not saying I'm not guilty of it. Some. I absolutely am. But like, I try to be a very whatever makes you happy dude. If you don't want to do it, why would I want you to do it? I don't want you to be, I don't, I'm not asking for a prisoner. I'm asking for someone to go do a thing with. man, if you don't want to do it, why the fuck what I want you there? Makes no sense. Right, but then you think, or I think, and maybe this is wrong,

and this is why I get perceived as an asshole so much, uh, sometimes I think, and maybe this is like kind of shitty because it's like kind of condescending. Sometimes I think, like, hey, Corey, do you want to go to this concert with me? And you're like, nah, man, I've been, we've been on the road a lot and blah, blah, blah. And I think, yeah, I think that's probably his depression talking, though. Like, he might need to get out of his house.

And then, but then, like, that's not on me, though, you know. No, but no. The other thing I think that's happening there, just real quick, let me get this hit in because I thought of it. And then you kind of cut out. And then it's going to, I'm ruining it right now by over explaining it. But I think really what's happening is you've started to hate peer pressure because you realize now that you're doing so well and hitting so much. You don't have any peers. That made me feel really good.

You resent the entire notion that this person could pressure you from a peer perspective. Yeah. Like, I'm going to be in court one day and they're going to be like, you're going to be judged by a jury, your peers. And I'm like, no, I'm not. Yeah, well, I thought you had to have 12. There's like three of them. Maybe at best. One of them died.

Yeah, no, I've been thinking about that because a lot of, it is my depression. Like, I'll tell Amber, and I struggle with it. I'm like, it's so hard for me to make plans ahead of time. Because, like, I'm very aware now of like, I don't know how I'm going to, right now. Fuck yeah, man, I want to do that. But I don't know that will come that day if the same Corey who said, fuck yeah, I want to do it is even going to be around. And it's not that like I just want to bail on the plan.

It's like sometimes I'll get like that depression where it's like I can't even like I don't even want to leave the goddamn house today. And it's not that I want to bail on y'all and that doesn't sound like a fun idea. Nothing sounds like a fun idea to me right now. And I can't. It's like I don't know. I've got to like I've got to either just start never making plans. If I want to do something the day of that's good or just fucking suck it up and go do a shitty thing, which I guess is would be better because yeah, I would end up having fun. but like I never know which Corey's going to be the dude.

Well, Andy and I's not rule, but what we aspire to with that, because we both deal with that. But what we say is if you made this plan when you were in a good mood and you wanted to do it then, you really did. You didn't just say yes because you thought I wanted you to or whatever. Then you're going to have fun if I make you go or if you make yourself go. Like the depression is keeping you from wanting to go right now, but once we get there, depending on how bad it is.

Sometimes Andy's depression is worse than mine. I really deal with anxiety more than depression. Sometimes when Andy gets there, she still ain't having fun because her depression is too much. With my anxiety, she don't even try to get me to go. It's rare, thank God. But when I'm really anxious, I can't have fun, I can't be fun. She just leave with that. She's like, thank God I can get to fuck away from you.

And I'm not mean or anything. But when I'm anxious, I'm just like fucking, I'm like a fucking electric fence. You know what I mean? It's just like. My little rule for myself is just if the plan. is contingent on me being there, no matter how I feel, I'll suck it up. You know what I'm saying?

Like, let's say I made the plans. I rented a hotel. I was told everybody I'd drive and yada, yada, yada, and then day of, I don't feel like it. I'm not going to cancel on anybody else, but if it's a situation where I was just tagging along and like, if everybody just thought about it, you're still going to have a fucking good time without me,

then like I'll give myself the excuse. But if like, I'm a big part of it, like, I just suck it up and hate it and just like, well, at least, you know, nobody can say I didn't fucking do it. But yeah, man, I don't know. I got, maybe I need pills. Therapy, probably. Yeah, definitely.

I've been thinking about that because we've been off this whole time and my whole plan was like, well, we're going to be off. I'm going to go see somebody. I'll be able to like actually go there once a week or whatever because when I'm on the road, it's difficult because you've got to get with like an online physician and all this fucking shit. I don't know how much that'll work. And I fucked around and just didn't do it. And now we're about to be back on the road. And I'm like, well, can't do it on the road. Don't know what to tell you.

There's a guy here that Andy's, Andy's been. And he's been babysitting for a semi-famous musician. She's not really famous. She's like won Grammys, but her genre, it doesn't matter. And that lady's husband has a therapist that specializes in childhood religious trauma. Oh, boy. And I think I'm going to give it a whirl. Yeah.

Maybe I can get rid of these panic attacks. Anyway, that's, save that. I don't know. I don't know what my specialty needs to be, but I will just go to somebody and figured out. We figured it out on this podcast. You got molested when you were in fifth gray by a big titty blonde woman and now you're literally unable to break free from them Yeah, so I'm gonna go to therapy and get a divorce then create a whole other set of problems. No, you'll start to realize that your relationship with Amber can be and is in some ways based upon real things and you don't need to fear her She's not actually gonna take advantage of you. She's not that person who hurt the little boy Corey. She is a grown woman who likes

grown man, Corey. What do you want to bet that she picks this week to start listening to our podcast? And she wants to know who the fuck that was and what that was about, you mean? No, just, yeah, all that shit. Nah, she ain't going to listen to this. No, and also it might be nice. Well, we have reached our time and I can also have to pee, so this just kind of worked out. All right.

Into the Abisket podcast. Listen to it, guys. If you listen to it in the past, I've been wanting to say this on here for a while. and you didn't like it because we couldn't figure out our fucking sound shit. I figured it out. It has, and by eye, I mean, this good dude, Kevin Stover, who is now our producer who rules. And it's great. So check it out.

We just launched Patreon today. DJ's as wild as ever. Hopefully we're going to have him on Well Red again soonish, probably in the March, beginning of April. And so, yeah, also go check out all of our dates at Wellredcom. And a date that is not on there, it's not the Well Red tour, but me, you and DJ, will all be together on St. Patrick's Day at the Palace Theater. You're gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I told him to ask you because I knew if I did, you'd say no, just like the fucking story you just told about your friends who you don't really like. But, uh, okay, this rules. No, unless he gets depression and decides that he, it's not contingent upon his being there. No,

I guess, here's the thing. I do it. I can't, I won't do it to DJ. I've told DJ that I think, you know what I mean? It's only him,

though. Like literally anyone else asked me, I might be like, I fucking don't know, but no, I got to start hitting some mics and Chadd new. That's going to be a good fucking time. We're going to have a blast.

Pals Theater, Chattanooga, me, DJ, and Corey. That's what it is, isn't it? Right? Yeah, so here's the order. You could be a groupie. You could follow us if you wanted to. I'm not saying anybody should do that. I'm not even saying any of our fans can't afford to do this,

which I totally respect, and you've got kids and jobs. But you could come to Raleigh on March 12th and see the well-red comedy tour, back to back to back to back, to back, right? One show Thursday, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. You could probably meet a, meet Kiwi, the Tiny Horse. and Corey's wedding, probably be at one show. Oh, yeah.

On Sunday, DJ and I will be in Asheville. You can come with us there. Then on Monday, DJ and I will be in Knoxville. And then on Tuesday, DJ and I will be in Chattanooga, where Corey's going to join us, and we're being hosted by Jake James. What? Jake James is going to be there?

Jake James is the Chattanooga host. We're also going to do a live into the Abisket at the end that we will put up on our Patreon, and Corey and Jake James would be the guest. Oh, my God. I'm going to get Jake James. buddy it's St. Patrick's Day we're all getting Jake James.

I figured out the only antidote to be in Jake James. Jake James him right back. Yeah, Jake James. I'm kidnapping him. I'm taking him to fucking Chattanooga and I'm not letting him go home. What would we have to do to Jake, Jake James, Jake James? Like, what would we have to do? He's like, I got to get to fuck out of here, boys.

Y'all going too crazy. That would never happen. No, I think B2 away from Knoxville for too long. I don't think there's any event we could do, but unless it's like Bonaroo where he knows what the specific date is, and by the way, he brought his. mama to Bonnaroo with him the second time he went. Like he can't be away from the bird for more than two days unless he like minimally prepared for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, all right. Well, there you go. March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. Prepare to get Jake James at the palace theater. And come see Will Red in March. Another thing we haven't said real quick, tell your friends about this podcast, folks. I don't know how long since we've said that you know Well Red, you love Well Red.

You know people in your life who would love it. Tell them about it, man. Yes, absolutely. It's a grassroots operation. So love you skew Love you skew Thank you all for listening to the well-read show We'd love to stick around longer

But we got to go Tune in next week If you got nothing to do Thank you God bless you good night and skew