wellRED podcast - #164 - Roy Wood Jr!!!!

Episode Date: April 8, 2020

This week we are joined by one of the best and most respected stand up comedians working today, The Daily Show's own Roy Wood Jr! Roy offers up some advice for quarantining and we also discuss what we think the future looks like for entertainment!  roywoodjr.comwellredcomedy.comadamandeve.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skewniverse, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?

Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery, getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app

that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture,

including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create, custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different

language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app,

lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to?

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the.

What's up everybody? It is your boy at the show coming to you live from Casa Day Show. Still quarantine. Help everybody out there is doing good. Once again, nothing to promote. I mean, you can go to well red comedy.com and check it out all you want, but we ain't got any shows, ain't got anything like that. I will say this, we do have one thing to promote, and that is, I'm sure the phenomenon that's sweeping the nation Tiger King, I'm sure that

it's made its way into your living rooms because we're living in a time where I assume we are consuming every single bit of content out there that we can. So if you've seen Tiger King and you like Tiger King and you thought, I wonder what those fucking dipshits thought about Tiger King. Well, Tiger by the Tale is coming to you this Thursday, April 9th. In video form, it will be up on Tray's YouTube page. So we'll put it out on all the Facebooks and all the Instagrams and all the Twitters and all that shit, so look forward to it. It'll take me a couple

days to get it just straight up in audio form, but I will tell you it's a visual medium, and I know you've got some time right now, because we shared some clips. DJ Lewis was our special guest for all but one episode because he was in space. We had all sorts of special guests. We had a friend of the podcast, Carmen Morales,

Tushar Singh, lead singer of American Aquarium, BJ Barham, from Deadwood. We had W. Earl Brown and Sean Bridgers. We had a little impromptu Deadwood reunion. We had Tone Bell. We had Brent Black. I don't think I'm fucking Roy Wood Jr. who is this current podcast that you're about to listen to. He stayed around and talked about Tiger King. We said Mark Aegee. Jesus Christ. Mark was the first episode, which is

why it's the, we recorded it like a week ago, but like, man, it's been a blur. So writer, extraordinary, one of our best friends in the world. Mark A.G. is on the first episode. And we all discuss Tiger King. It's a nine-part series. We have the first episode's a preamble. And then we do each episode, all seven episodes. We break them down.

And then there is a bonus recap episode. So check out Tiger by the Tale. But other than that, enjoy this podcast with fucking Roy Wood Jr. from The Daily Show, one of our good buddies. Just all around great human being, funny guy, most underrated person in comedy. Check it out. Love y'all. Skew.

They're the. Ro rednecks they like cornbread but sex They care way too much But don't give a fuck Next that makes some people upset But they got three big old dicks that you can suck Come by here? Today?

Yeah No. You got more lemons? No, there's a fucking toilet brush. What's a toilet brush? Is there a reason Katie would have brought y'all a toilet brush? Maybe we didn't have. one and she knew that somehow.

Andy would have bought one before she'd asked. I bet Andy put it outside if I forgot. Andy cleaned the bathroom yesterday. I bet she said it outside. She's not here right now is why I can't ask her. And I just saw it. You know what? You know what's crazy?

So, I mean, clearly I have a problem with alcohol and substance abuse. Yeah, it's clear. That's crazy. But I've been, right, but I've been sober since the Diffy thing, like not, just because I wanted to be. I wanted to clear my head and I wanted to feel better. But like the triggers that you're going on. Sobered up since Diffy does. Sorry. No, you're fine. You don't, there's like certain triggers that I have, I guess, that maybe you don't think about. And one of them is, is legit. I was driving around earlier listening to my book. And then I took that when I went to take that picture.

And then on the way back, I was like, I'm through listening to this book right now. I just want to hit. So I turned on my YouTube music. And the first song was bigger than the Beatles by Diffy because I've been listening to all of that. I'm not kidding. as soon as like country, because this is the first time I've listened to country music since I stopped drinking because we've been doing this and I haven't really listened to music. I like felt the like shiver.

I was like, oh, God, I need a beer. And then I got home and everything was fine. And just about 30 minutes ago, Amber started burning leaves in the yard and the smell just has wafted up to me and it smells like a bonfire. And like, I'm not even trying to hit right now. Like those two literally huge triggers.

Like I was like almost subconscious. went down and just grabbed a beer. Yeah. Are we recording already? Yeah. Okay, good, because I was so bad. I was going to say, that's actually relevant to what I was going to say. I'm glad you said all of that because just so everybody knows, we've spent a lot of time

in the past few days recording a mini-series podcast entirely about the Tiger King. And much like a bomb fire or country music, that subject matter just felt like drinking material for me. So we talked about that on one of the first. episode of the podcast. I said, I've been drinking while we were recording during that. But then I've been shutting down once we got done because at Pacific time, we would get done in like 5, 6 o'clock p.m. and I would stop drinking completely. So it wasn't too bad, but I was already, I was drinking more than I would otherwise like to. So I told myself like, yeah,

I'm a, you know, lay off for a few days. That was, yeah, that was yesterday, Sunday. It was the day we finished it. And today, Monday, it's the first day of like official with lessons lesson plans and shit homeschooling at the house. And so that's also why if you're watching, if you're watching this per chance, that's why I've got my background as a bar because that's where I'd rather be right now. And the bar is behind me.

I'd rather be working at a bar than what I've been doing today. Y'all know how like, I've been wanting to ask you, like, how is it actually being a teacher instead of just like pretending to be one all the time? Yeah, right. It sucks. It don't with it. So we, I don't want to, I don't want to piss anybody off with this statement. It's just true. The way I'm wired as a person, I'm very much a homebody and everything.

Like, I've not really been having too much trouble with the quarantine on a personal level. I'm with you. It's not been bothering me. It's not been stressing me out. I respect everybody else that is very much bothered by it. Obviously, economic concerns are real for everybody. all that. I don't even mean that. I mean, as far as my mental state of mind or my mental well-being, I'll back you up. I've been, I've been good. I felt guilty about how much it's not hit for me. Today. I have wanted to kill everybody. Right. I haven't had none of that. And I've enjoyed, the boys are obviously the home the whole time, too. It's not like I've been staying out here in the

office the whole time avoiding them. I've been in the house mostly. And it ain't been bothering me. But today, the first day of like school, I willingly put on a tinkerbell mask and went to the grocery store for an hour earlier just to get the fuck out of there for a minute. Because like it's they don't, the boys don't know. Nobody, nobody is comfortable with what is happening. And including the teachers. Like they're they're not used to, they're elementary school teachers. They're not used to online education stuff. the boys are seven and eight.

They've never done none of that. And me and Katie don't hit, so we don't know what's going on either. And it's like there's, we've had to download like four or five different apps. You have to switch back and forth between them. Like, you can't sit a child down at this and like click start. And it's like, okay, computers, your school, buy.

You have to very actively walk them through, like, all of it. And none of it makes sense to me either half the time. And so I feel like a dumb ass all day and they're getting frustrated and I'm frustrated. And in a few days of normalize, we'll figure it out. But it does not hit. This is the first time that the quarantine has been like, man, fuck this shit for me personally. Well, man, I've been thinking about it. I think I have true introvert feelings or tendencies.

And the problem is I'm not alone. And it's not Andy. Andy's the easiest person to get along with 99.9.9.9. percent of the time. She's been easy to get along with. It's not that. What made me think of it, Trey? And I was going to recommend this to you. And I have said this, but I haven't said it on the podcast, I don't guess. Go to a grocery store like 30 minutes away. And then you get to be in the car by yourself for 30 minutes. Yeah. And I've thought about it. If you get pulled over for some reason, then you're not supposed to do that. I don't know if that's against the rules or not.

But I was just going to tell them that somebody in my family has a milk allergy. And this grocery store I called was the only person that had goat milk. There you go. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to lot like, like, Today I went and drove around, but that's all. I didn't get out of the car. I just literally just wanted to drive around and listen to this audio book. And I was like, well, you know, it would be nice to take a drive. But it wasn't like out of sheer like, fuck, if I don't get out of the house, I'm going to die.

It was just like, I can do this. Why wouldn't I do this? I like riding around and listening to books. And we are having very different days now as a direct result of that little trip you took. Most of our listeners probably have seen some of this, I would imagine. But won't you tell us what happened on that trip you took? this morning. Well, so I was driving around and I drove like, I mean a solid hour and a half. Matter of face, I drove until like I needed gas and I was like, fuck, I don't want to stop at a gas station. So I just

pulled in and like I'm just empty now. Like I'm not going to drive again, I guess. But I went out driving. I was listening to Jim Ross's old book, Slobberknocker, because he's just put a new one out called Under the Black Hat and it's like a sequel kind of. So I wanted to read the first one. So I'm driving around and listen to it. Have a good time. I'm taking all the back roads and just seeing old shit and just, you know, enjoying myself. And I come up on this church that is like, it's not in our town, but it's also not the other town. It's just like the fucking Gaza strip of our towns, you know. And there's this church.

And I drive by and I see that they're fucking, there's a bunch of hilarious church signs I saw. But this in particular, it said, the first part just said, Jesus, six o'clock parking lot. And I know what they're trying to do is like they're going to. like they're going to have a church but outside. Like they think the being inside part is the worst. I guess like the air that is good. But they're still going to have church, but everybody's just going to stand at a distance or like in their car or something.

But the way that that was phrased very much looked like a fight. Like it looked like a match or something like that. So I didn't take a picture of it immediately. Like I saw it laughed at it. And I drove on like a mile, maybe two miles. And as I'm driving, I'm like, that's going to be worth it to fuck it. So I turned around, went, hung my hand out, took a picture of it.

it pulled over like in the Walmart little parking lot right over there and I tweeted that I said damn is this church going to whip Jesus's ass hit tweet drove home got home and this motherfucker already had like 3,000 retweets or something like that and I was like hell yeah it was absolutely worth turning around and by now it's got like I mean at last note it's got like 12,000 or some shit retweets and like two million fucking I've never had to tweet this good and we were me we were joking about it on the threader it's like normally when you have a tweet go viral you then tweet another thing under it like hey come see me on tour whatever nothing can't promote shit well you tell them about the podcast probably i'm i'm going to i'm gonna let i'm let it

send but they're just gonna go unlike the tweet we thought it was from somebody that um um oh fuck i don't know what man i got stoned and i well but but then what But then what happened? Well, I got a couple direct messages on Twitter from some of our fans. And it was a screenshot of Daniel Tosh, his Instagram. And I saw that it was my picture. And at first, before I clicked it, I was like, oh, fuck yeah. Tosh shared my thing.

And I go on Instagram and I see that Tosh has literally just taken the picture and then made his own caption, which was just fight, fight, fight, which I'm like, you didn't even make it hit harder. Like, you know what I'm saying? so I was like well fuck and off top and y'all know because we were talking about it I there was in I wasn't immediately pissed off at Daniel Tosh because I fucking know that's an intern that does that right like he's got somebody that runs his Instagram like the dude don't even go on talk shows there's no way that he'll wasn't it wasn't it specifically the Instagram for Tosh point oh even like even

actually actually yeah now that you say that so like you know with certainty it's an intern who did it and not actually Daniel Tosh and just with certainty like like Daniel Tosh, he don't, Daniel Tosh himself doesn't need a viral tweet enough to break the comedian's code that we all, like this has been going on for so long. Like the fat Jews been called up by everybody. Like anyone that does it now, it would be the accident or it was their fucking intern. So I know it was their intern. But then I tweeted about that and that has gotten some heat. So like within the day, yeah, I just went out for a drive, had a tweet go viral.

And now I guess I've got pseudo internet beef with Daniel Tosh. my boy, Arn Anderson, shout out, who also has, you know, some K-Fabe heat with Daniel Tosh, tweeted a gif at him. So, like, hopefully we can get some, we can get some tussle going. Do you, has there been any kind of, like, response from that account or anything yet? No, not, no, not yet. But, like, there's been a bunch of people, like, as soon as I posted it on on Twitter, our fans are the greatest people in the world and a bunch of people were tagging it. Like, his, my wife actually sent, she was on Instagram on his and was, like, like scrolling through it, sending me pictures, like, look at all these people that went in and

tagged you and was like, hey, at least give Corey credit, at least give Corey credit. And like, there was a lot of people like on some fuck Tosh shit. And I had to go in there and be like, yo, that is, and in my tweet, I think was very diplomatic. It was like, I know this wasn't Tosh. Tosh ain't even funny. I'm like, dude, I couldn't wash fucking Daniel Tosh's drawers. That's one of the funniest motherfuckers ever. So I know it wasn't him. But like, I kind of do expect that either the tweet will get taken down or he will tag me in it or something like that. because that's the right thing to do. And in that case,

I'm glad the intern fucked up. Like if that ends up happening. Right. Well, do you think, let me ask you all this. What if, let's say that intern had taken just the picture and posted it with a completely different joke,

which I don't even know what that joke would be. But like you said, they didn't even make yours hit harder, but also like it's literally the exact same joke except just. By the way, they're not the only ones to have done it at this point. Oh, I'm sure. Well, I'm sure if Tasha's done it, somebody else.

Well, but to me that, like the other, those like aggregators, the fat Jew types out there that that's all they do. Me personally, at least, if I saw something of mine done that way, and actually that's happened to me tons with my videos and stuff. And sometimes it's like even fine because it spreads it or whatever. But also I just don't hold them to the same standard. And I know their bags of shit, whatever. but it's still a comedian's intern. So to me, it's different. But my question is,

and I don't know what the alternate joke would have been, but if they would have used the picture, but with a completely different joke, like how different would that be in your mind? Like, I mean, it'd be, I don't know. I honestly don't. Because, I mean they kind of did, like he said, fight, fight, fight like that in itself.

You mean if they like... No, that's the same joke. It's the same joke. And again, I don't have an example, because I don't know that there is another joke to, okay, this would not hit, but like, if they were like, oh shit, drive-in churches are going to come back. Okay. And drive-in movie theaters, do it.

It would have been worse because then I would have had to go on and say, hey, by the way, I'd like credit for this. But side note, my joke was not actually this joke. And it's like a whole extra level of convolution or whatever. I think at that point, the move is to not say anything, even though you took the picture. You didn't take the picture because you're a photographer. You took it because you're a comedian. And at that point, I could hear them argue and believe them that they had no idea

it was your picture. They thought it was a meme making the rounds. And since they reworked the joke, it was fine. Honestly, I would think that was fine. It's literally just that I know that he had to have seen it for me probably. And also, and it was, he's a comedian. If some random fuck whatever did. And it's the same joke.

Like that's going to, right. If some random fuck, whatever, like that does that, that, that's, that's, that, shit is just going to happen, but it's literally specifically because it's a comedian's account. Like, that's the only reason. Like, it did, like, and they had to try to cut your name out. Exactly. Like, they had to, my thing was on that, like, I took that fucking picture. Because I do know that sometimes, like, just, you know, random pictures be floating around.

Now, granted, when those random pictures are floating around, at one point, it was somebody's shit that it got caught. Well, that just happens. And I shared it with y'all, so y'all saw it. I don't think anyone involved was a comedian, but still, I'm just wondering how we all feel about these different scenarios. You know that

picture I sent y'all in the group chat, the group text last night that was that Baskin-Robbins ice cream-combed mascot and the caption said, how to fuck am I essential? Yeah, yeah. And I thought that cracked me up, I thought that was pretty funny.

But then I saw in the comments on Reddit earlier and people proved it. The, that picture originally, and this also is funny, in my opinion, the picture originally, the captions said, all right, y'all, let's go make this bread, no days off. It's like, yeah, like, you know, like hustle hard, but it's a fucking, rise and grind, but as the Baskin-Robins Mascot. Riz and grind, let's make this bread, no days off, and it's a Baskin-Robbins mascot, which I think is also funny, and that's a good example, that those are different jokes, but,

the person who made the thing that I shared yesterday took that picture. Yeah. And, like, turned it into a different thing. But that wasn't their picture. It wasn't their post originally. Yeah. It's like, how different is that? I think it's at least a little bit.

I'm just going to be selfish here and people can call me bullshit or call me my bullshit if they want to. The only difference to me personally is that I am a comedian. I make my living by doing jokes and shit like that. So when I post content, like, I'm not just doing it to hit for my friends. Like, I want the fucking Twitter impressions. Like me getting in this world that we live in, me getting my Twitter followers and it's disgusting to even say,

but it's just true. Me getting my impressions up and getting credit for the thing that I posted. It was funny. Therefore, I get the followers helps me in my career. So like it's just, I don't know, it's just, it just feels a little bit different. You shouldn't still nobody shit. But once something like gets, I don't know, fuck it, man.

I can tell me, if the picture, if the picture you, took, ends up getting out there as, like, just a standalone picture? Yeah, that's fine. I don't care. People are, like, re-captioning it. Again, there's only, there's only, like, really the one joke you can even make. Yeah. But I'm just saying that type of shit happens.

Yeah. And once it does get out, that's a little different. It is. What happened to you? What happened to you is the most egregious form of this. Yeah, yeah. And again, once something gets out there and it's out there for so long that nobody knows where it came from, it's like, yeah, that shit's going to happen.

and like yeah again i won't care if people just take the image and like i don't sit here and want to be like i'm going to copyright that fuck i don't care it's literally just the it was another famous comedian and like because all again this is tosh's intern but it's like you could have still said your fight fight fight fight thing and had me in it or tag me in it and put me over like you daniel tosh doesn't need more getting put over like that's why again that's why i don't think it was him, but like, yeah, you could have made the same fucking joke and still had me in it, and it would have never been questioned. Nobody had been like, oh, you, that guy did it, though, so fuck this.

They still would have liked it. It had been a double joke, and I could have got some heat off of it, but that didn't happen. So whatever. Still got plenty of hate. It's a fine tweet. It's also, like you said, it's who did it, you know? Yeah, I expect this from fucking a TikTok or whatever. Right.

I mean, I guess I sound old when I say that. That's what I'm saying. Like, that's still, that's still, it was still. be shitty if it was just some random person with a bunch of followers, but I'm like, I expect y'all to do this, but there's a comedian's code and just we all should respect the comedians code. You really think there's no other jokes? What about something like, this church making Home Depot signs? I don't know. Trying to think of like, Hey, Zeus, meet me in the parking lot at 60 o'clock. Yeah, I mean, no, there could be,

but I'm saying I don't think it lends itself to. It ain't go beat mine. Like a meme format where it can make a bunch of different captions, you know? Yeah. For the record, I was just wanting, just, you know, just bringing it up for conversation's sake. I wasn't at all trying to defend any of it, because like I said, what actually did happen to you is, I mean, yeah, inexcusable for all the reasons you said. Mostly that it's two comedians involved.

And if you're an intern for a famous comedian, you should absolutely know. Also, there's like ways this shit could happen months from now where you might feel differently. Yeah, because the pictures have been going around. Right. If you see an internet meme, essentially, and you rework it, but you do it exactly as the meme you just saw.

And that meme is 20 minutes old at that time. That's so different than I've seen this picture a bunch. Yeah, right. Once something gets into the Zite guys, like it almost just, I'm sure not legally, but it just seems like it becomes fair use and just like public domain. Like, you know. Well, I mean, copyrights are super fucking long,

but yeah, I mean, legally there is an expiration date. Sure. I think it's like 90 years and I'm pretty sure Disney is who made it. Also, for the record, my attitude on this whole situation would be completely different. If I've got a pretty decent platform on Twitter and like it before, the only reason they even saw it was because it was already getting a lot of heat. But, and you know, like I've got a lot of followers. We're doing very well. If I was some comedian like that didn't have the clout that I have and was like really trying to make it and I,

I had done that and I only had like 200 followers and then somebody jacked it and then did that shit and I just saw only Tasha's shit getting a bunch of likes and not me. I would be furious right now but I'm in a position to where I've just, you know, what the fuck ever, man. This lady, Sarah, I can't think of Sarah's less name. I've only met her once. She's a writer. Elon Musk stole one from her and I was sort of thinking the same thing that you just said. She's got like 10 or 20,000 followers and, you know, it was fine. But she, you know, I was looking at that situation. He stole a picture.

She had a picture of a dog before and after his haircut. Yeah. And it said, my daughter looks like he quit drinking. And that's exactly what it looked like. Yeah. I know, I saw that.

And it was funny. I mean, Elon Musk. But that's Elon Musk. He's not a comedian. And he shouldn't have done that. He's just a fucking, he's a goddamn autistic rocket scientist.

Right. He don't know the code. So it is different. Like, he shouldn't have done it. And I saw that. And hopefully once he saw, hey,

this is hers, maybe he gave her like a tag or something. But it just is different. Because like, I, there's part of me that even though it's like been a conversation, don't steal from comedians, don't do this, I absolutely believe that Elon Musk has never heard any of that shit because he lives in this completely different bubble. So in his mind, just like, this is Twitter. I saw this. This is funny. What the fuck ever. So like, yeah, that is different. Like comedians fucking know. And comedians, interns should fucking, if you're the intern for a comedian, day one of here's how you should do this job for me is like, don't fucking steal nobody should unless you get him credit. I would say more so. The intern of, the intern of, a comedian is either a stand-up comic wannabe or a writer want to be or an actor movie or all of the above a b you literally work in social media in the comedy world the fat jewish and fuck jerry are two of the most famous most successful versions that you're copying them is what you're doing you're doing

the opposite of what comedians have decided by and large we are going to do which is fight that shit, call it out at every turn. You decide to go the other route. And frankly, fuck you. Like, I guess there's some wild outside chance that this is gross incompetence and they don't know who those people are. That's so wild. It's like, then I'm like, well, how privileged are you that you're the social media coordinator for Tosh.0 and you don't know who fuck Jerry is? Right. Like, either way, you know, it's on site. If I find out who it is, it's on site. There's also the possibility that it had done been cropped and had gone around and maybe they thought that it was just a, I still don't know.

It happened too quickly, bro. I agree. It was a few days later, maybe. Yeah. Right. There's no way, in my opinion. Yeah, that's true. But again, but again, I genuinely believe, like, because Tosh has gotten a lot of tweets at

him from a lot of fucking check marks, which matters, like a lot of retweets and a lot of stuff about it. You're welcome, buddy. Yeah, appreciate you. I kind of think, I kind of think that it will be addressed or, I really do. It would. I mean, if I kind of think so, too. I think it'll just be taken down when that is.

intern gets nervous. Which whatever, which what the fuck ever. But if it does get addressed and like, you know, I'm glad that the happy mistake happened. What I hope happens is that here's how close to this, Corey. If you go look, all Twitter and Instagram say is three hours ago, four hours ago. They have the same timestamp right now. I hope it gets so bad that you have to go take a picture in front of that sign.

Well, I've thought about that. But I also, I can screen record on my phone because the picture I have is a live photo, which you can only have if you're the one that took it. because you can see it moving a little bit because I was fucking in the car when I did it. It's like, I can, yeah, dude, I'm not worried about that shit. If somebody's, like, proved that it was you that took the picture. Yeah, but then you got to explain that and blah, blah, blah, blah.

It would just be a good dump. If I took a tripod out to it and took a video, and I just like, look, there's a church, don't hit. Make it with a picture of Tosh over your dick. Yeah. That would get you on Tosh. If Tash himself actually does feel the need to respond to this, what kind of thing do y'all think?

Like I could see Daniel Tosh doing something like. Sorry, dipshit. No, either that. First, either going in on you, which would be funny. Or like bringing you, I guess because of the world right now, it'd have to be via Skype or be a Zoom or something. But he like brings you on to address it and you go on there and he's like addressing it formally with you and he's like saying he's sorry.

And then he gets, he brings the intern up themselves and like fires them. And like brutally fires them in front of you and like makes a whole whole. thing out of it about how like you know about how like devastated they are by this and how they deserve it and their family just really goes in on them and it's like you know i don't give a fuck that there's a pandemic you're fucking fired yeah yeah oh that would dude that would hit for me so i just want to thank you core for bringing this shit to my too but here's my thing about that that'll be to me it's such a slim chance that that is some barely skating by also has two other jobs hard work comedian writer or stand-up comic

because once you've worked hard at quote unquote your little dumb bits you know how ignorant and stupid that is I feel so certain in my heart and I know I'm biased against people like this

but I feel so certain in my heart that that person can work that internship because somebody's paying their bills sure I mean and then fuck them well I mean I dude I would say that most people that are interns for almost anything like they're you know they're not making good enough to support themselves.

Some work other jobs. Especially to our audience. It's not going to be clear. And I should have said it, but I'm going to say it now. In that scenario I just laid out because he's Daniel Tosh, I think it would be an actor. Mostly made up.

Yeah. Yeah, it would be an actor. That he would embellish the shit out of. Dude. And that would be a very Daniel Tosh way to go about it. I think would be as hilarious. I don't think it would be hilarious to find out that we actually. actually put a 20-year-old on the street in a box.

Dude, I'm with you, Drew, that, like, that ain't going to happen. He would do. He would hire an actor just to make it even worse. Like, he would have, like, a transgender amputee or something like that. Yeah, yes. I know your fucking grandma just. You know what's even better about all that is if he actually did that, he would have stolen that from this.

Yeah, right. It would have to hit him again. Yeah. Now you've got to fire a, writer, Daniel. We're just in a goddamn pandemic joke warp that we can't get out of. But it's the best tweet of. It's the best tweet I've ever tweeted, even if it did get stolen.

I still got all the head off, though, I don't care. Yeah. What did you say it's at right now? He said two million. I checked because I was curious. No, two million impressions. I said it had 12,000 retweets and two million impressions. What's an impression?

Impression is like how many profiles it actually like went to. It's like the statistical thing. on. Conrad's the one that, I didn't even know it existed, but Conrad's the one that told me about it. When you, when you look at your tweet, right, you can see right here. You look, man, no, you can't. It's a 15,000 retweets. There's that little thing on the side of it that looks like volume levels.

Oh, yeah, you can do it on your own. It's tweet activity. And yeah, 2,305, 503 impressions. So that's how many. 3,000 likes. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a shit ton. I don't get, yeah, I don't get heat like that.

and only ever could you get that many likes before work let out on a Monday. It has to be during a pandemic. If I had tweeted that shit and like this was a regular day, I'd be at like 50. Dude, no, I mean, that's, those are like, you know what's weird about that? Those are like Tray Crowder numbers and Twitter and whatnot. But like, y'all know, like, if you're on Reddit or anything and you see, like, you see a tweet that has now come viral on another platform. Yeah.

And so often the numbers to me are just fucking crazy. Like it is like a funny joke, but it's just like one little line from someone who if you go check, it's not a comedian's profile. Yeah, they got like 300. And they'll have like fucking 75,000 retweets and hundreds of thousands of likes on a tweet or something. And I've always just been like, that is fucking insane. Yeah.

Like sometimes there will literally just be a tweet like, man, shit sucks right now, right? L-O-L. and like it just gets 100,000 retweets for no goddamn reasons. I don't understand how to, like, I don't get it. Like now, now granted, I'll say this to me was one of my better tweets, but sometimes I will have what I think is like one of the best tweets ever, it'll get nothing. And in the next day, I'll just post something that was just a one-off and it goes crazy for some reason.

I don't get it. I just don't, you know, as you say often, I'd sooner lasso the moon than understand the fucking internet. Yeah, fucking weird, but good. for you buddy so you you know what kind of affects this had on your on your mood you does anything hit or no it's good no it's it's been kind of a cool little day like i'm sitting here i'm editing all the episodes of tiger king and because they're video and we did them over zoom i feel the need to like literally sit down and watch all of it to make sure there's no some weird glitch in the middle so i've been rewatching our stuff and i mean we are my favorite comedians so it's really been it's

really been hitting for me. And yeah, it's a nice, you know, as Drew texts me earlier, it's like, it's a nice endorphin drip during this time when I'm so starved for attention because of who I, like being a comedian, I can't get on stage. That did kind of feel like, like doing a set a little bit. It felt like I did a really good theater show that, you know, getting those numbers from the tweets. It's like, right on, man, standing up, good for you. And then tomorrow will suck. Yeah, of course. Well, Drew, how's your Monday? Well, buddy, let me figure out how to frame this exactly. It's not going as good as Corey's.

I woke up at three. I don't know if it was the meat low for the Shepherds Pie. I made both last night because I could decide which one I wanted. And upon further testing, my joke was that I found out the winner was me. I don't know if my guts was wrecked. I woke up at three. I couldn't go back to sleep. I ended up calling DJ.

It's his 40th birthday. Shout out DJ Lewis. Happy 40th. He's one of the other bumpkin. He's one of them that I feel like there's people out there that like, DJ is the type of person that some people are going to be fucking like, what? He's 40 and that could go in either direction.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. Well, yeah, he's skinny and he's not bald and he's got twinkle in his eyes. So it's like, I don't know how old this dude is, but you hear him talk and you're like, oh, he's 60. Yeah, right. And you hear the life that he's lived and like in, how many lifetimes would it take? Right.

Anyway, shout out to him. I called him. We did our podcast because I couldn't sleep anyway and he was up and I knew that he was going to get fucked up on his birthday as he deserves to. And when I called him, I found out his favorite band, The Strokes, dropped an album today. So it's double his day. So he's real. And I also, just for both of you, this is funny.

I have a tweet that's doing better for me, you know, and I was feeling pretty good. about it. You had not retweeted it yet, Trey. And without your platform, I was at about 400. And I was like, fuck yeah, man. It's pretty good. And then, uh, this is what the pandemic has reduced us to. Yeah. And then I got online and I was like, oh, I guess it's not that good. Hey, boys, how's your Twitter hitting today? Well, it's funny because that same tweet, it had a slight, um, I can't think of the right word. I'm so tired and stunned, guys. Maybe if you take a nap and tweet would have hit harder. I know it.

It had a slight grammatical error in it. Oh, really? Yours? Yeah, so I deleted it and retweeted it. And I was talking to my buddy at the time on Twitter and he had just retweeted it. And I was like, oh man, I just deleted that. Retweet it again for me if you don't mind.

Sorry if I'm lame. And he said, oh, no, dude, happy to retweet. All we have right now is our tweets, brother. It's so true. That's true, man. It's so true because like literally, Even off mic, I don't think that we've ever sat down and had a conversation about Twitter numbers unless it was like Trey's first video and we were like having our first foray into knowing what that even felt like. Yeah.

And the only other conversations I ever remember having. And it's when we had today, which is, does this translate to followers? And it seems not to in general. I think you got to keep doing it. But I've got like 500 extra today. I will say. Oh, that's a lot. Yeah, I thought it was going to be less.

but I was like, because that's happened before I've had one that was pretty good, and I got like three. And I was like, well, what the fucking even point of this is? But to answer your question specifically, Trey. I should tweet that.

That'll go by what the fucking even point of BCC is fuck? Critically acclaimed author. That's actually exactly how my Monday is going. What the fuck even is the point of this fuck? He is. I didn't know it was Monday till right now. I don't know where I'm at. I'm starting to come ungly.

lose time-wise. I'm not like angry. I'm not screaming. I just, what are we even doing here? You know who the real hero, the real winner of this pandemic is? Garfield.

Yeah. What are we even doing here? Yeah, man. What are we even doing here? Trey, at least you have your kids to give you a purpose. Yeah. I'm over here,

I'm over here talking of tweets. Yeah, you're right. Well, again, I'm still, as we said earlier, and I feel guilty about it. Like, I actually am still enjoying myself. Like, I'm still having a good time being at the house. And, you know, we got a yard and I got an attic that I can come up in and, like, get away from everything that's going on down there,

which is just Amber rewatching fucking shows. She's seen a million times and playing on TikTok and talking about how much I don't hit to her friends. Well, you know, as an upside, Drew, we're right ready to wrap this up, really, because we can go ahead and hear from a much more interesting person than us we'd like. Yeah, that's true. Oh, good. So I go back to having nothing to live for.

Yeah. Well, you can go, once I put this up, you can go listen to our guest this week, which was the insanely funny, in my opinion, the most underrated comedian on the earth right now. Daily Show correspondent, Roy Wood Jr. We had a great conversation with him.

He talked to us a little bit about Tiger King and then hung on to basically just, I mean, in my opinion, Roy was preaching. He was, I mean, proselytizing. he was just laying it down on what you should do to handle yourself in the pandemic. Like I just shut. I put myself on mute because I was like, I can't contribute anything to this.

He's crushing it. It's interesting you say that. I text him right after that because he resonated with me and I wanted to keep talking to him, frankly. And he texted me back some stuff like, you know, just in Roy's way. I don't want to do his accent because it would probably come across. It was very offensive. But at least you said that. He was just like, okay.

I'm not really sure what's wrong. with acknowledging that, but you know what? I'll just go fuck myself, actually. No, I just forget what I was going to say. I'm just going to hang myself with these speaker phones. What did you say? What did Roy say? I can't hear me.

I'm hanging myself on my speaker phones. He's just somebody who gives me hope. It's rare that a comedian can do that. He does, man. You know what I mean? Like, that's a rare and really good combination. Well, that's true. There was actually a point.

on this podcast because we did it by video and I can see your face where Roy is is launching into this thing and by the end of it we realized it was a fucking very hilarious bit that he was doing but like we were all especially you were like on the edge of our seats and you go oh god damn man you really had me for a second he does have that way of like making you laugh and giving you hope at the same time which is right you know like you make me laugh and tray gives me hope but people who do both of those are so yeah no I hear you that was a good burn on both of us yeah we don't hit. But Roy does hit. I agree very much from all everything he said. I love

Roy. So, yeah, enjoy this conversation with Roy Wood Jr. Ski-e. But first, a word from our sponsors. So, what do you want to do tonight? I don't know. Such a movie or something. I don't know. I feel like we've

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And when you do it, tell us what you buy. Talked. Tell us what you're going to do with it and we'll send you a picture of Corey with his hat off. Have a spicy quarantine. Roy. There we go. I can hear you, God, damn it. All right. What's up? Do I sound good on this corded microphone bullshit? Yeah, that sounds good.

Sounds real good, actually. How's it going, man? Man, I'm making it, man. We really appreciate you take it. We do roll, bro. I know, yeah. I know how that goes, especially since, you know, all. this current insanity. A couple of things real quick

before we really dive into it. I know you had said 730 to 8.30, your time. You got a hard out in like 10 minutes. What's your time? 50. 850? Yeah, 50 after us. Okay.

No problem whatsoever. And secondly, you physically, where are you? New York. That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I figured, like we were saying earlier when we were texting, we'll just do, like you said, 50-50.

We'll talk about Tiger King. time. We ain't got to, you know, spend the whole time talking about it. And we'll just talk about other shit, too, if that's our idea. Yeah, man. Whichever way we want to go. Okay. I think we're planning right now to put this on our main podcast and the Tiger King talk can be kind of a, you know, I guess a little add it.

Yeah. There you go. All right. Well, with that said, we dive into it. Well, here is, everybody. The man himself, Roy Wood, Jr. Yeah. Yeah.

He's a hilarious comedian. and Daily Show correspondent and all around Renaissance man from Alabama. And that lives in New York City. If you don't know, Roy, you should. He's also a buddy of ours.

Thanks so much for being here, man. And honor and a pleasure. Happy quarantine to you and yours. Happy quarantine. How is yours going? Because you're in New York City and it's a whole thing. Does a balcony count as a room

to keep a child? Yeah, I think so. The weather's good there right now. I think that's balcony. It's livable. It's not 70 at night. It's 55, but that won't kill you. You'll layer up.

Maybe make them a little tin out there or something. Yeah, it's like camping. He'll love it. Three years old, is that right? Like a top of three. Yeah, he's about to be four. And he doesn't quite understand. understand what's happening yet. So he's still like, let's go outside. Let's go outside. I'm like,

no, son, that's where the zombies are. Yeah. We're not going to go outside. But it's just coming up with, like they say, work-life balance, right? Yeah. Work-life balance only works if you leave home. Yep. Like, if you work over there, but you live here. But if you try to do both in the same place, it's an impossible overlap in trying to figure out how to compartmentalize each thing without disrespecting the other. There's love, there's parenting, there's work. So it's those, it's oscillating between those three buckets at all time. When the truth is what I'm discovering about myself to be the most efficient,

I have to live in one for a sustained period of time and then move to the next one and to the next one. I can't do it in 30 minute intervals. I can't. My brain doesn't work like that. No, I know. I hear you, man. I get it too. And I don't know.

So with like a three, almost four year old, are you having to do like any kind of school or preschool shit? Because I have to like home. Me and Katie have to like homeschool our sons because they're first and second graders. So we got like, we're like teachers now,

you know. Oh, you're legit, legit teaching lesson plan and laying out stuff for them. Yeah. It's actually, it don't start with their school, uh,

school district. We get all the shit. It starts for real. on Monday. But then, yes, lesson plans, all that stuff. We've got to be the teachers, and I'm not looking forward. He's in preschool, but they have a pretty stringent, like, learning program and all of that stuff because they're trying to teach them a second language.

He's got to get all of the, sing all the songs and Mandarin, I think is the official. I slipped up one day and said my son could speak Chinese, and I don't think that was appropriate. So, Mandarin is the specific dialogue. No, hell no. He FaceTime's people who are much more articulate in that shit than me. And it's him, it's chaos, though, with three-year-olds.

It's nine three-year-olds all on a group chat. And it's cool to one of those fuckers pulls out a snack. And then the other eight kids want a snack. Because he's got a snack. I was going to say we've been doing our podcast I was about to say we've been doing our podcast through Zoom now because of all the shit and having guests on stuff and it's never more it's never more than you know four to five people max adults ostensibly and it's a nightmare nine three year olds on a yeah I can't not drink because I started seeing them drink and I got jealous so now I just get ready I'm like well I know they're gonna be drinking I got my beer yeah about in the city there as far as like I don't know the feel or the mood, the atmosphere and whatnot, because obviously you hear a lot about New York being, you know, the epicenter in America right now for all this. Like, is it insane or what? It's, it's a ghost town. It's weird to hear New York quiet. That's probably the thing that I've had

to get used to the most. And you're in Manhattan, right? Yeah, yeah. So it's real loud, usually. Yeah, it's sirens and murder. Like, there's, there's the appropriate screams and fuck you's and traffic and you don't get any of the. In fact, New York has gotten so pussy, they started clapping at 7 o'clock like the rest of the people on earth. I can't believe it. In support of the nurses and the doctors. I said, what the fuck is this city?

God bless our health care professionals that are keeping people alive, but I thought this was New York. You just give them a hunk at the intersection, but no, it's all love out there. It's a complete 180 from the New York you're used to. that's uh man that's like both heartening in some ways and disheartening to hear as an ex-new yorker me and my wife for talking uh we've been gone there from there a little over a year and we're very glad now we started with the tour kind of making money right before i left new york but there was a time in new york you know you start out in new york most people start out there pretty poor you don't have the good job and all that i i can't imagine being up there right now trying to wait in grocery lines to get you in the bodega and dealing with all that because we were barely getting by as it was yeah so then you add lack of income on top of that and the check from the government that will arrive god knows

when right and all these people there are like everyone's leaving going back home i'm like i would have went back home we've talked about it you know thankfully the daily show is still on the air so we're still able to make we're still able to make television and i got enough decent cameras in the house that if i wanted to cobble something together for the show I figure I could. But if Comedy Central pivots this summer off of this shit, oh, dog, please believe. It's Atlanta or it's Birmingham.

And I'm holding landlords feet to the fire. That's the other thing people need to know about this. There's one upside. If you can still pay your rent, ask for an upgrade when it's time to fucking get another apartment. When your lease is up, just demand the five-bed room with the balcony for the same rate, because I guarantee you no one's coming in and putting in the application on that.

I don't know. It's a buyer's market. Also, get rid of your cash. Get all your money out of the banks. Cash won't matter. What you need in this new apocalyptic universe, you need cocaine, goats, and bullets. Man, I got two of those. Well, you can get a goat pretty easy.

You can get you new. You hear my accent. Maybe I had a goat. Roy, what's so funny about that? And this is part of why you're so great. You have such a great cadence. I was genuinely listening for a second. I was like,

boy, Roy's about to tell me what to buy. I'm ready for the, is it gold? Do I need to pull the arm? I don't know where to put my mouth. No, man. You just need to get high. You need to eat. And you need to murder a motherfucker that tries to take the first two from you.

Right. Hey, what do you know about back home Alabama for you as far as like either your people there, just people there in general with all this? It's going to be bad. My little brother was working at the Mercedes-Benz plant outside of Tuscaloosa. They got laid off today. They killed a couple of shifts over there. I thought that they were going to pivot into making protective equipment. But I think they've decided to just ramp down car production.

I think it's going to be bad. I don't think it's going to be as bad in, say, Mobile, Birmingham, and Huntsville. I think the people are going to get hit hard of the rural counties in the southeastern part of the state where there isn't a very effective health care network. And the state dragged their ass on, you know, issuing stay-at-home orders. So people are just out. They weren't, there just wasn't enough work, I feel like, on part. at the state level to get the word out on telling people to stay home because the people are only going to move at the speed of the government.

And it's not as bad as it's going to get there. I'm really, like for everybody talking about New York and New York and, oh, it's bad in New York and all the deaths in Seattle, we haven't even seen what's going to happen in these places that did not stop being in close contact for way long. We might not ever hear about it, really. Like that's the thing that's weird to me is, you know, my hometown gets hit. There's no reporter there. You know, the closest newspapers of town over. Yeah.

And then can you even trust the hospital to even give the data? And at that point, they're probably not even getting tests. No. So you don't even know who's dying from what. And then the hospitals, you know they aren't getting safety equipment in some of the rural parts of the county. If Governor Cuomo is on TV bitching at Trump about ventilators, I guarantee you, Enterprise, Alabama, is going to have a hard time getting a couple. And that scares me.

That really does scare me. So, you know, we're monitoring it. My mom is home, thank goodness. She works at a university. So, you know, they send everybody home. They're doing all the digital e-learning stuff. But it's hilarious because now my mom is calling me. And my mom has one of those campus laptops.

And I think that shit still running Windows M.E. Something ancient. And it's a 20-minute conversation. because she wants to move the recycle bin icon from the top left to the bottom right. First of all, why is the recycle being icon batten lead off in the icon layout? If you got a PC, like you have my computer, my documents, a couple of folders for other stuff, and then the recycle bin is always bottom right on most people's computers, no matter if you're a Mac or PC, but somehow my mom, the recycle bin, is in the top left hand corner.

Yeah, that seems like a recipe for disaster. That's psycho, that's serial killer. But she's staying home, though. Yeah, she's home. I literally, and I hate to say this, I had to curse her. I have to, like, yell at my mom. It worked. She, how that go.

See, I did that to my mom, and it kind of worked, but then I did it to my dad, and I think it had the opposite effect. They went on vacation, Roy. To Alabama. Yeah, they were like, well, we got the cabin already. There ain't going to be nobody at the cabin, Drew. And I was like, I guess you're not going to see anyone there. No.

Man, you said that you cursed your mom. If I had to have the foresight, like if I knew a month ago that this was about to happen, I would have told off so many motherfuckers, like knowing that we were all about to be in lockdown and they couldn't do shit. I should have cut it off out. Yeah, dude, I called a young. yelled and screamed at my mom. I had a call. And I kept telling my mom, go get groceries.

Go get groceries. Go get groceries. Baby, I just swing by the publics when I get there and get a chance. The woman that I sent to get groceries on my mother's behalf was in the store for four hours. My mom was a seven-year-old woman. She ain't got the stamina for this fucking walking dead grocery shopping. He ain't ready for this shit. And she was thankful on the back because my mom ended up trying to go. go to the grocery store, and it was like an hour wait outside to get in the store.

And I said, everything you need is at the house. I already got it three days ago. You're stubborn. Okay, well, I guess I'm going to go home. But now she's trying to guess Netflix and Hulu passwords from years ago. Try to talk a 70-year-old woman through working a Roku. That's fucking stressed. Yeah, that sucks.

A little bit of a, compared to that, more free. Privileous discussion, except I know it's not to us. When do you think that like stand up is going to be legal again? Like how are you, how you feel about that situation? I don't think it's going to be good, boys. I mean, neither. I agree with you. I don't think it's going to be good at all.

When the president of the United States is already having conversations with the commissioners of 12 different sporting leagues across the country and discussing using the stadiums as triage, the domed ones, and using them for staging it, is for equipment and talking about potential suspension of all sports and all big events, there's just going to be a trickle down. Like, when you look at unemployment, this is what COVID-19 really exposed. It exposed how many of us have revenue streams that are based upon people hanging out.

Right. Amen. It's all disposable. A restaurant is a luxury, a concert. a baseball game, basketball, comedy, the nightclub, all that shit is hanging out. You got a little extra bunny, so let's go bowling or some goofy shit. So now, even when COVID's gone, people have to get jobs back. Then people have to pay all of the rent they owe that's being suspended.

Then they have to get a little bit of savings because now they're going to be scared, straight into having a stash. then they'll be ready to come out to the chuckle hut and see us again. But at that point, I believe a lot of comedy clubs are not going to survive this, which is going to be less places for committees to perform, which means you're going to have to self-start, which means a lot of bars, the ones that are left, will probably be very open to having entertainment,

but they're not going to be able to afford to pay you, and you're not going to be able to afford to charge a cover because you just want people back out putting money back in the, to the ecosystem. So I performed my, the last show I did before quarantine happened to me was the end of February in Pittsburgh at the improv. We had about 300 people in the building

paying about $20 to $25 a head. Not a fucking chance in hell. That, not at that ticket price point. I read what you wrote, was it in Vulture? Yeah. About that and you made a good point. I think you said essentially, I'm paraphrasing, but it was basically like, you know, arena acts become theater acts, theater acts become comedy club acts,

comedy comedy comics become acts become bar acts and bar acts are fucked. Correct. Or some version of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm wondering, one thing you didn't address there, I'm just curious your thoughts on it. I've read, and I don't even know if this is true, that during the Depression, entertainment was the one luxury item. This is me just being desperate.

This is a desperation question. Entertainment is the one luxury item people will spend money on just because when you get that low, you need an escape. Do you think there's any truth to that? I think there'll be something. Never forget, like, after every major disease eradication, there was some nice entertainment that came out on the back end of it. You know, what was that?

Was it Spanish flu or some shit in the 1900s, the early 1900s? Yeah. And we got the Harlem Renaissance. You just fucking shake that shit right off. So, but to that point, though, Drew, my feeling is that, of course, I think, yes, there will be entertainment, but now if there's fewer places to be entertained. Right.

You're a third round pick. Right. You don't eat as much as the first rounders anymore. Where it used to be enough food, it used to be enough stage time to go around for everybody to at least make something. I think it's a lot of people on the lower rungs of the comedy totem pole that are going to get fucked. That's why I like what they're doing or what they did.

over the weekend what comedy gives back where they did a whole telethon on access and live streamed it and just raising money for comedians that are just not on TV the comedians who haven't had that big break yet but this is all they know this is their only form of income so we did you know I think it's a comedy gives back.com if comics are listening they want to figure out a way to apply for 100 grants to get bred but that's kind of that only that only happens if something like this that would only happen if something like this occurred and I think a lot of people in the industry realize that a lot of people on the lower runs of the ladder aren't going to get to eat. Well I was talking with you know Ethan S.P.

He's at the store now. No, no, I don't know. He's a young comic and we were talking about other young comedians and we were sort of joking like, yeah, a lot of them will quit. Some of these cats need to quit. That'll be good. But then we were talking about, but like a lot of people will quit. We're going to miss the next

whoever you want to fill in the blank Roy Wood Jr. if you want to. Someone's going to quit and go become a teacher or whatever that would have served comedy well, but now I don't have a place. And you hope that they come back to the game, but you know from a muscle atrophy standpoint with comedy, if you aren't doing it every day,

like it's going to be hard to come back after a year. And then on top of that, as a comic, you're trying to go back out into a work world where another, as of right now, I think six million people filed for unemployment last week was the number on top of the three million from the week before. So you're competing with the world. Now, if there's one bright spot that I think that could come from all of this, I think that all of this time alone in your house, time to think is going to spur a lot of creativity.

Right. performs because I call it the crying the car moment where you feel like all is lost and you should probably quit this as a career. I think every entertainer, no matter the genre, has that cry in a car moment. Yeah, me and try literally had it in a truck one time. The crying the truck moment. Yeah. So I really believe that when you're at that edge, that's when the same thing, when the safety net is gone, that's when you really start to figure out some stuff. And I think there's going to be some comics that were second rounders that are going to turn into first round jims on the other side of this, because they're going to figure out the new creative way to reach

people or the new thing that connects. You know, also think stylistically, you know, entertainment is not going to be what it was on the other side of this. I don't think we're going to consume media the same way. You want to know who's fucked? The movie theaters, bro. Yeah. They've already started giving us theatrical releases at the house. Right.

Dog, it's a rap. They're not going to. Can't come back from that. Kind of related to that, Roy, where comedy is concerned, how do you feel about, and I know I've seen some people, that Drew and Drew and Corey did one with Carmen Morales. I know other comics are doing them too. Like, comedy shows

over the internet. Like, be a Zoom with like digital audiences and things like that. How do you feel about that type of thing? It feels and looks weird. I did one last night with Ali Sadiq on his Instagram live. He calls it the Corona Comedy Club. And it was fun, but I was also tipsy. So help me through it.

But the people who were in the room and commenting, everybody laughed, everybody seemed to enjoy it. Just me as a performer. This was, it was like Rodna, I don't. know, some sort of four-wheeled bicycle or something. It just felt weird. We did it with Carmen, and I trust Carmen Morales, and she said, I've done one of these with Jackie Cashion, they're fun, give it a shot.

And she was right, but then afterwards, she said, and I was like, if you just said this to me before, I might not have done it, but she's right. She said, it's kind of like methadone, where it's like, this is not the drug I was after, but I don't itch anymore. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it is. It's like, oh, there's jokes that you can get out of your system. I'm doing one. I'm doing one on Monday for Butterboy, the room in Brooklyn,

with the partner and Joe Firestone and them. And the one thing about the internet is that you can't bomb per se. Right. I'll just close my laptop. If I don't feel funny, I'll just pretend I didn't get a signal. Fuck you. I'm out. I wanted to

I thought that I would do on a regular I wanted to ask how you felt about this and this is obviously this shouldn't be the main concern of anybody but just we're comics, we're talking and we're talking about when and if comedy

actually fucking starts up again it's going to be weird because as you said, you know, there's six million people unemployed we're competing with the world when everybody starts finally coming back to the clubs

that first show back, not even that first show but that first week, those first couple months, like it's going to feel like the elephant in the room because comedians are supposed to talk about current shit. This is the most current shit and it's one of the most unprecedented things that have ever happened and I mean ever. What do you think the line is to toe between like people definitely want to hear your opinion on it and man, we really don't want to hear this shit. You know what I'm saying?

Depends on the body count. Yeah. I hate to say it like that, but it just depends on the body count. The more if we're closer to that quarter meal, dead off this shit, it's going to be somebody in their room that's affected directly by it. And more than likely someone who had the shit. Right. What if they say half a meal dead means like, what, 10 million infected, 10 to 20 million

infected? It's some absurd number. So you may as well be making jokes about, like, I almost, the only thing I can try and relate it to. why won't this boy shut up? For the record, Roy, I didn't mean making light of the virus. I just meant like... No, no, I mean, I agree.

I mean, from that sense of you're trying to make jokes around... It's like when you start making jokes about war, but somebody in the room is a veteran or somebody is the widow of a vet. Right, right. It's just going to bring up a feeling that they don't want to feel, which means that's one less person laughing at that. dick. I don't, I think you have to address it.

I think every comic is going to talk about it and then eventually as a society, people are going to get sick of it and then the best we can hope for is another mass shooting so we can get back to normal. That's when we'll know we're all good, right?

Hey, this has prevented mass shootings for a little bit. That's one fucking good. Yeah, that's like the only upside to Corona. There's no terrorism. Fast forward tomorrow. Some kid shoots his parent and it's just like, well, I hated my teacher. Yeah, I used to have a really shitty joke about how I only went to the dollar movies

because nobody's going to come in there to shoot up two motherfucking people. That's going to be the real movie theater now, so you can keep that one. Just say AMC. So we're about that to let Roy go. But before we do, the most frivolous of topics, we're wondering what your general thoughts are on the Tiger King, because we got us a little mini-series we're working on related to that. Here's the one takeaway I hope everybody takes away from the Tiger King is that there is no money in exotic animals.

Clearly. There's not like. Fucking goats, right, Roy? I would argue that there is more money in goldfish than tigers. Petco. Petco is. is a fucking conglomerate corporation. They have a ballpark named after them in San Diego

from just selling snack food to domesticated pets. There's no tiger food and pet code. There's no fucking iguana food. It was all types of just weird shit in there. A lamer. I think that that documentary exposes our fascination with charismatic hillbillies. well thank god for that we've always had that obsession with charismatic oddballs especially

southerners um i will say that i was thrilled to find out that all of most of this shit was going down in oklahoma right preach the midwest the midwest has got to take that body right i was so upset he had the southern oklahoma accent and not the midwest Oklahoma I was like, man, if he just enunciated words that ended in I and G, it would be fine. I also love that the other half of the story unfolded in Tampa, which is like Miami's method addicted younger brother. I get why people love it because it's just such a drama-filled story, but I just feel like at his core, the dude was a dick to a lot of people. Yeah. I'm not sad that he's in jail.

I don't know the details of his case. But when they dig up, when they dig up, what was it, like 14 tiger bodies? Yeah. Some shit. Come on, man. Like, even if you, even if you did euthanize him as you claim, you're just throwing bodies on top of bodies like that. Like, that's, you just don't do people like that. And shame on the people that go and, like, actually fall for Carol's bullshit, too, because she's just as guilty as he is.

Now, there's no money. There's no money in exotic animals, but there is money. and making your rich husband disappear. Always. A lot of money in that. A lot of money in that. I would encourage anybody to look into that. Oh, yeah.

Roy Wood Jr., everybody. Thank you so much, Roy. A pleasure. Good to see you, Ray. Good to see you, boy. Good to see you, man. Okay, baby. Keep your sanity.

Yeah, I'll try. See, brothers. All right. Sure. All right, well, that was Roy, everybody. How hard did that hit? But like, so check out Tiger by the tail because it also hits. If you like Tiger King and you like us, I think you like this.

It's, you know, trash on trash action. If you don't know what Tiger King is, give it a chance. Yeah, I mean, at this point, I don't know anybody who hasn't seen that motherfucker that is going to watch it at least. But if you're some, if you're somebody out there who is on the, like, I don't like reality shit, I don't like true. It's me either. I fucking don't even.

Transcends all of that. Yeah, man. It just does, man. It's just, I don't know what to tell you. Go listen to it and then check out our, I guess, nine-part series that we did. It's going to be on YouTube over on Trey's page. And I'll also end up getting the audio out and just putting it on this podcast feed. But it is a visual medium.

That's how you should ingest it. So check her out on YouTube and love you. Yeah, check it out. It's coming out tomorrow, right? Tomorrow. If you listen to this on April 8th, it's coming out tomorrow. Yeah, Thursday, April 9th. Yep.

All right, well. You don't know. Ain't tomorrow your birthday? No, Wednesday is. Today? Wait. As people are listening to this, today is my birthday. Man, between putting podcasts out at later dates and y'all being on the West Coast

and me being here, our time and knowing stuff is just horrible. I feel bad. DJ happy birthday and then not you, but I, like, I feel like in my juvenile brain, it was 6.9. I feel like I remember my mom at 69. Cool. It's all right. Birthday's don't wait for me. It's fine. All right. Well, happy birthday. Bye, everybody. Thank you.

Bye. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night. Thank you. The Popeye's family feast. Why has everybody suddenly family with Popeyes

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