wellRED podcast - #171 - Jon Reep: The Hickory Dance Machine

Episode Date: May 27, 2020

The boys bullshit about yard work and above ground pools for a while and then our good buddy, Last Comic Standing Winner Jon Reep drops but to hang out! Jon gives us the low down on how to get good at Tik Tok without being a hot teenage girl, his experience starting out doing comedy in the south, and we also discuss the time Jon was arrested for dancing at a Carolina Panthers game!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's the thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast.

They're the. What's going on everybody? It's your boy the show. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellredcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D. Comedy.com. That is where you can find out where we're going to be as soon as comedy opens back up

and we're allowed to go. Start playing shows. Hope you guys are staying safe out there. You can also grab merch on well-readcom. Our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark, and our album, Well-Red, live from Lexington. Also signed up for the newsletter, so you'll know where we're going to be whenever they let us be,

places that we would really, really, really like to be. This week on the podcast, we are so fortunate to have our good buddy. The Metro Jethro himself, Mr. John Reap. John has a podcast called Countryish. You probably know John from Harold Kumar movies. You know him from winning, Last Comic Standing. You know him as the Hemmy guy. You probably just know him for being one of the funniest stand-up comics working today.

And he's a good buddy of ours. And we're super glad that he dropped by. And we hope that you will check out his podcast, Countryish, where we also will be making appearance here very soon. All three of us did an episode with John as well. So anyways, enjoy the show. And we love you. And skew!

They're the... The... Six Daycare. Way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can suck. I am in the middle of a domestic undertaking here that's pretty on brand, I feel like. Katie's making dolls?

No, no, Katie bought an above-ground pool. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, she did. Andy's about to do that too. Katie bought a pool. I don't know if Randy knows this. It's a whole thing right now. Like it took Katie like two weeks to actually get one because and she was, she got to a point where she is so just such a white woman.

She got to a point by the end of it where she has set up this like system where she had figured out. I'm going to butcher this. I can't remember, but somehow or another, she was waking up every, like, hour on the, this is what it was. She was waking up every hour on the hour in the middle of the night to try and ascertain exactly when Target's inventory was updated on each of their, like, location, websites or whatever, because she had some kind of system where she could check every morning and not just Target, other big lots and other places, too, she was doing this with, where she could check every

wanted to see if they had gotten in a new pool off a truck because at least out here in Southern California right now during the pandemic they no matter where we're talking like when a pool came in off the truck it was gone by lunch time every single time and uh and then people of course are reselling them so for like you can get one second hand you could get one second hand really easy but it's like fucking way way more expensive than they should actually cost but she finally got one yesterday and brought it back and you know y'all know me when it comes to you know actual work of any kind don't hit me and uh that's what we're having to do we had to clear out some like bushes and stuff we're doing that earlier and i was standing like fucking with my arms later she's like

what and i was like well i'm gonna be broke out is what but she's like what you mean i was like i never told you before like i'm like clearing out brush like fresh cut green stuff like that like I'm allergic to that kind of work. You know that. Like literally allergic to it, which I know sounds funny, but it's just actually true. I got, when I worked for the highway department, and during the summer in high school, Clay County Highway Department, they put me on the weed eating crew for a while. And eventually had to pull me off of it because I was covered head to toe in a horrendous rash that was coming from the clippings getting on my bare skin.

And buddy, you talk about being a pussy. Oh, yeah. Like, that's completely beyond my control. I can't help that at all, but you just imagine the guys at the Clay County Highway Department. Oh, you were already first ballot pussy anyway. Absolutely, dude, just because I was going to college, I was the biggest square there. When I found out that, when I found out that I literally was allergic to weed eating. I, uh, that's so goddamn funny.

Surprisingly, I share that and also unsurprisingly, Doug Morgan did not give a shit. Give a fuck. Oh, dude, Ernest Garrison, the highway commissioner, didn't either until like, I mean, I looked like, I looked like a fucking sideshow act or something. Eventually, I was so fucked up with it that even he had to finally call it. But for a while, he did not give a fuck either. Well, my dad 180'd. And my dad's like that with like getting hurt. The first thing is if you get hurt and anyway,

it's your phone. Absolutely. It's the first thing. He don't even, he's like, what the hell? He's angry. But anyway,

I used to get, you know, rashes and all that, and I couldn't breathe when I'm owed, and he was like, what the hell ever? And then we cut hay one summer with our neighbor. And I about had to go to the hospital

because of my asthma analogies. And to his credit, it wasn't like mom was like, this is enough. After that, he wouldn't let me do stuff, even some stuff I could, could do. It was like he went from like, this was toughing you up to like, Drew can't go in the

basement. There's mold in the basement. So he's out. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I'm out of this work. Yeah. But so we, but also like we're just getting started, dude. And I don't know if you're fucked to the pool, but like it's obviously it's got to be level. And it's 50, it's 15 feet across and it has to be leveled the whole time. And every leg has to be on a little paper. It's got to be dug into the ground perfectly levely. Right. I mean, you know, like, we are going to fuck this up. I'm almost certain. You know what I mean?

Like at least initially, like we're just getting started and I'm just, you know, we'll say, I knew what you meant, but I just wanted to say Andy was in the process of that too,

but Andy is very much trying to buy the biggest kiddie pool around where you just throw it onto the ground and put the water hose to it. Yeah, okay. This is like not a, like you wouldn't, even,

even, you know, middle class in Salina, Tennessee I don't think would build a shitty deck around this above ground pool. It's not, you know, it ain't at level of above ground pool, but it's a step or two above what you're talking about. Just a real big ass kid. I'm talking about an on ground pool where you just put it on the ground. Yeah, Amber's, I got lucky because Amber's, I'm actually still wet from being in it.

Actually, Amber's dad has a pretty nice above ground pool with the, you know, redwood deck around it and all that. And he's like five houses down for me. so I don't have to do none of the shit you're doing. I still get hit in it. So that's good. Happy Memorial. I want Trey to buy one and let me use it. Yeah, absolutely.

And Danny's got a boat, too. Like, I'll never get a boat because I just have a buddy that has one. Like, how deep is that pool you're talking about, Corey? Um, it, right between the neck and teddy. I don't know. You? Yeah. I mean.

So, I mean, yeah, that's a pretty big ass boat around pool because that's like, yeah, I guess it's like five foot. Yeah. Yeah, five foot deep or something. This one is like, we'll be a little under four foot deep, which we probably won't even fill it up to that capacity because of how tall the boys are. It'll probably end up being about 42 inches deep or something like that. So that's not even four feet deep, man.

I mean, it's, you know, it's not, it ain't much of a. It's perfect for a fat, though. Corey, enable screen chair. Okay. For me or for you, like, I don't know how to. Okay. Wait, hold on. Really?

It says I disabled screen chairing? Yeah. I don't hit. I didn't mean to. I just can show you guys a few of these even shittier pools. Hold on now. Well, God damn it. I don't know how to do it.

I know how to share my screen. Wait, hold up. One participant, multiple participants can share simultaneously. There we go. You did it? Yeah, I did it. All right. That Bronco looks sweet.

Yeah. All right. Either that or that. Yeah, yeah. Those are kitty pulls and all. like them. I want that one. I don't know why. It looks like a pool table. It does look like a pool table. But anyway, that's what I think we're going after. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that checks out. Well, I mean, you're going to, so you're going to talk about that Bronco there or what?

Yeah, I'm trying to. I mean, I've seen it. But, you know. Yeah, baby. I'm pumped. You should be. Tell the, tell the world what you've done. I bought an 85 Bronco 2. How about that happened? Well, I've been wanting one for a while, and I just, I guess finally got enough time and boredom and quarantine to really look and pull the trigger. I really wanted Tacoma, but I can't afford the Tacoma I want because I want like a $45,000 tocoma. And I was looking and getting an older Tacoma, and my nephew, actually, Jacob was like, won't you get a Bronco 2? And I was like, because you can't ever find them and blah, blah, blah.

And that's true. I went looking around. It was like one in Vegas. There was one in LA that didn't run for $2,500. I found another one in L.A. one time for eight Gs. I couldn't afford it, but it was in a maculate shape. So I was like, I'm going to go look at it. It sold in half a day.

Yeah, yeah. I found this one just north of San Francisco, and it wasn't selling, and it was a pretty good price. And I knew there would be something up with it. Me and Andy went camping. we were already halfway there. I was like, fuck it, I'm going to look at this thing. I cruised up there, and what my plan is

is I'm going to have to sell my jetta, which is a very reliable, sensible car to have, but I can't afford both, and I don't have room for both. But anyway, I went up there to look at it. Fensible, dude, you did the right thing. Yeah, well, I don't drive enough. Right. You know what I mean?

Somebody thinks it's going to be your daily driver. I was like, I don't drive daily. Right. But when you give it gas, it's just a little, you know, slow to get it going. And, man, I hemmed and hauled around. I took it to this mechanic, and I just took it to the closest mechanic to this dude's house.

And buddy, you want to talk about a foreign old boy. I ain't never seen a Middle Eastern redneck. So obviously a Middle Eastern redneck. His name was soccer. S-H-K-E-R. Okay. Yeah, I know. He told me on my phone.

His name was soccer. And I was like, all right. You know how, like, nine out of ten mechanics are super, skinny because they live on Mountain Dew and Grace. Absolutely, yeah. And the tant is fat. Yeah, and he looked like Boomhauer,

but Middle Eastern. That's awesome. His name was soccer, and he was so funny. He immediately liked him. He was immediately an asshole to everybody, but in the funniest way. Everybody was dumb, but him. You know, like an uncle treats you.

But what he was doing, and it was so funny, and it hit for me very hard, he would go, all right, look, dude, kind of at the side of his mouth. He's got a feel, punk problem. You're going to have to deal with that. That probably cost you $800 or so, but it won't mess the mudder. And then old boy would come back, like if he was on the phone or something, the guy selling it. He'd be like, yeah, buddy, I was just telling him. I don't think I buy this

thing. You know, that's, I don't know, that's like a motor problem or something. Then he'd like wink at me, but it was very obvious. So that drove the price down. And I stayed the night up there. We've been sleeping in the car and camping and all that. I stayed the night in that area, and I thought more about it. My biggest fear was like, it's going to break down halfway home. or it's got a cracked head and I'm going to have to replace the motor and I can't afford all that. And then finally I was like,

fuck it, what are we doing with our lives? I got AAA. I'll make them tow it the rest of the way home. I'll figure it out. And it made it home. And yeah, that's my Bronco now. It hasn't been registered in years. I looked up the last name on the deed

and that man is dead. It may have been stolen at some point, but I looked into it. This was funny. I was calling the Tennessee courthouse because I'm going to register it there. I'm just admitting all these crimes on the podcast. I'm going to register in Tennessee, so now I have to deal with passing smog. It will pass smog, but I just don't want to deal with all that.

It's expensive. Anyway, I'm registered in Tennessee. I called them and told them everything. I was just completely straight up. I even told the lady at the Morgan County Courthouse. Shout out Moco Maniacs. I was like, look, the dude who I buy it from, his name ain't anywhere on this paperwork. and also it ain't been registered in a while

and I'm pretty sure the actual owner is dead and she was like, I was like, if it's like stolen, like, you know, what's the scenario there? And she goes, honey, you think we have a way to know if a car from California is stolen? Just bring that title on in here and we'll get you registered. There you go. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah, Morgan County. I don't know if it's stolen. I don't know what it still is. It's an immaculate condition on the outside. And I love it. Amber, I showed Amber the other day. I was like, look at his fucking Bronco. Drew God, it's fucking sweet.

And she looked at her. She's like, that is sweet. And then she sighed and she just kind of like looked down. I was like, what? She goes, you're going to have a goddamn Bronco within a year or some shit like that. And I was like, no, no, no, it's fine. You know what if she's like, okay, whatever. But I mean, you are.

Like, that's going to happen. So anyways, fuck this. Yeah. I'm very jealous. That was part of it was with the Tacoma, too, is I was like, if I get a Tacoma, I mean, I got friends with Tacoma's. Yeah. And I've only got one quasi-friend acquaintance who I just found out, Tone Bell, friend of the podcast, apparently has a vintage regular Bronco.

No shit. Like the real deal ones. And if anybody out there who's not into cars, if you don't know, those are mad expensive at this point. Yeah, sure. Even the one that don't run, it's 10 grand just to have it at the start. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, there's definitely a market for those out here. there's one, I think it's in Santa Monica.

There's a place. Santa Monica, that guy, he only does. That's literally all that that guy does is those old original Broncos like that. Bronco one's. And they're like, I mean, they're all like 50 grand, right? That's like, yeah. No, like 50 grand is like your, that's a good, like, yes, there are some for 50 grand because I've looked at that dude's side or whatever, but like that's your like starting out,

you know. My buddy, Rich, Trey, you. I know you met him. Corey, you might have met him at a show, but Rich, he came out for Black Friday from Iowa. He told me when I shared this picture with the Black Friday group thread, his family has an old K-5. Lloyd's got one. It's his. Like he inherited it. They are the only people who've ever owned it's people in his family. It's immaculate. He has no place to keep it. And he'd have to get, because it is so immaculate, he would have to get what they call antique replacement. insurance. And so his insurance alone would be

unaffordable. Because you think about like a regular insurance company is like, I can't, we can't replace your car. We can only offer you the true value. And they're not going to give you 100 grand on K5. Hell no. Lloyd's got one in itself. God damn sweet. All right. So

Corey told me this for me this could be a very specific public service announcement for our listeners, but I just think it'll maybe hopefully hit for everybody. apparently someone sent Corey a direct message because I had very I had recently on the podcast and I probably had multiple points at some time or another have mentioned my buddy porno who's my buddy from back home who everybody calls him porno it's never been any kind of issue except for the fact that we all porno does not but all all all of the rest of us all have kids now and any time

we're all hanging out together we all we just we forget you don't I have long since like forgotten that I'm saying the words like pornography, you know what I mean? He's just porno. He's just porno. And all the wives are the same way. They've only, Katie didn't even know his name until she'd known him for like six years probably. Like nobody even thinks about it, right?

So, look, I'm going to be honest, boys. Dustin? I have no fucking idea. Timmy. Timmy, that's right. I didn't know that.

Pornow hits so much harder. Yeah, well, anyway. So I mentioned it recently, and I guess somebody heard that and sent Corey a direct message saying they thought they might have went to basic training with my buddy porno based on where this guy was from and whatever else. So I just want everybody to know. I would imagine, and I never thought about it until that guy said that, I would imagine a good number of people who went to basic training went to basic training with someone called porno. I'd say that's not an uncommon occurrence, but just so everybody knows, not my porno, I promise you. My porno is like, he's like me in that he's like a slubby, nerdy, redneck sad sack, basically,

except like even cranked up further. And the idea of my porno going to basic training has just been cracking me up all day. Because, dude, him at basic training, that shit would make full metal jacket look like American sniper. Like, no, not my porno. But so just so anybody knows, if you're a vet and you hear me mention my buddy porno and you think to yourself, oh shit, I went to back to the trainer who got named porno, it ain't the same one.

Yeah, when I texted Tray that, Tray said, L-O-L, absolutely not. Lord God, the idea of porno having gone to basic training is fucking hilarious. And I texted him. I texted porno about that. And I told him, you know, I made the full metal jacket joke and whatever, you know, because I mean, he knows what's up. I told him that happened. And then I said, a full metal jacket wouldn't have shit on your ass at basic training.

And he was like, yeah, it's just hours of me crying with the drill instructor over me. And I'm laying there like, run. Like miles? That number means miles? Up and over, porno, up and over. It's like, God damn it, why are you still crying? I'm nervous. I'm nervous.

We've talked about this before, but it's extra funny that his name's porno, and he is so nervous, unassuming, and sweet. That's the thing also I probably should say. Because, I mean, again, I just, I forget about it. He's just been porno, and I've known for so long, And I know when you hear porno, most people, you'd be like, you have a friend named porno. I feel like most people think like, God, that's probably a deviant motherfucker or the time. You know what I mean?

But like, but porno, like you said, is like the most, he's such a sweetheart. And like he's so like, he's hilarious and he's so like kind and good and stuff. And it makes it even funnier that his name is, is porno. Yeah. Yeah. If you talk to him for long enough, it's kind of weird. Like he is not at all. someone that should be named porno, but then at the same time, he absolutely should be named

porno. I can't explain it because he's not, he's not a deviant, but he's a real nice guy, but he's, I don't know, again, I can't quite put my finger on it, but he's porno for some goddamn reason. Well, he's constantly like, like a thing with porno, if you know him was that he's like, he's constantly being, you know, what is the word, I'm just blanking in a while, A bag of shit. Nothing ever hits for him, and it ain't his fault often. Like, he's always in a strain. Always, always a strain.

It is always something with- We share that. We share that affliction. Every day of his life, the other day he got screamed at and accosted by a stranger at the gas station because he had a mask on while he was putting gas in his truck, and that was it. So, like, it's just always some shit like that. Life is just constantly coming down on porn.

basically. And I think, even the name. I know. He didn't deserve it. That's what I was about to say. How did he get the name? Well, it was a situation like that. That's what I was about to say.

It's like, so the name, if you know him, the name plays perfectly into that whole dynamic, which is part of what makes it work so well, I think, because the way he got the name was when he was in high school, his best friend, his longtime best friend brought a point. brought a porno tape, a VHS tape, his dad's or stepdad's pornop tape to schools. I check you out, boys. We're going to watch this in the video room under the gym during lunch or whatever. And at some point in the days, they went down there watching or something like a teacher was coming. They heard a teacher coming or something.

It's like, quick girl that fucking thing or whatever. And it went and porno was the only one sitting there like with his bag on him, like his backpack sitting there. So just throw it in porno's bag and zip it up, right, when the teacher's coming. And then they leave then a little bit later that day. At some point in the day, after that happened, he, of course, got caught publicly in front of everyone with a porno via tape in his bag, like in front of the whole school.

And of course, you know, he's like, it's not even mine. And no, no one believe that at first. I was just holding it for a friend. Right, yeah, exactly. And so like from that moment on, he became porno and that was 25 years ago or whatever. And he's been porn.

Been porn over since. So it's like it wasn't even his porno. That's so funny. But just that, him getting caught in front of everyone with his buddies he's porno is just like that is such his whole thing distilled into one story which is the origin story of how he got his name so it's like it's just the whole thing is just so it's so perfect uh jumping back on what you were talking about earlier in there about how the other day he got accosted or whatever by someone for wearing on my ass uh i have yet to be accosted but you know

DJ was telling us he'd been talking to us about him working at dollar general or whatever he can tell that like it's almost like a gangman mentality like the people with the mask on look at each other a certain way and then the people without the mask on look at you a certain way well i haven't really you know because i'm not out there every day i haven't experienced that but i went to the store uh the other day and got i got my first i didn't get accosted but i got my first that i actually heard uh it was just that like that's all it was but like this lady was looking directly at me and as i turned the corner and she looked me up and down saw the mask she just went right in my fucking face. So, you know, not as cool as getting accosted, I guess, but I was like, I just, I couldn't believe. And I, and everything about me wanted to just take my mask off and scream at the lady. I know, I know you are right, but I love to think about the idea of that happening. And Corey, I just had titt on my shirt. You, you, I was going to say you're so offended and you're in a, like, full body bluer track suit with a flat billed wrestling cap on and big lime green,

Jordans or whatever. And you just said to Amber, I'm the most humble person in this town. Yeah. But I know that you're right about what it actually was. Here's the deal. If you'd seen this lady, that would have hit for her. Like if I'd have been in that, that would have hit for her.

Yeah. I got a secondhand anecdote along those same lines. My buddy Thompson, and I told you all this already, but he didn't get across different. having a mask on, which he did, but he didn't because he's white, I assume. Right. Oh, he saw, he just saw this happen. He was at this infamous gas station and convenience store in Cookville, Tennessee, where I went

to college. I said it's literally called the murder mark. That's not the name, but all anyone ever calls this is the murder mark. We've got a murder mark. And Thompson was in there the other day, and he saw some old, he said he was like a trashy-ass pap-all. right like a long bearded 60-something-year-old man no mask or nothing buying scratch-off lottery tickets of course he was he saw that guy and two young like 19-20-year-old Mexican guys who each had mask on the two Mexican guys who were together and the trashy papal

coincidentally happened to like kind of arrive at the counter at the exact same time, which happens sometimes. And Thompson's behind them all. When they sort of like, almost get there and almost bump into each other and look up, Thompson said one of the Mexican dudes makes a you go right ahead gesture. He doesn't say anything, but he makes the universal gesture for all go right ahead with his arm. And when he does, when he does that, Thompson said the trashy papal screamed at him,

get back! And then turned and looked at Thompson, presumably because he's the other white guy in the store, I guess. He turned and looked at Thompson and said, I don't know about you, but I'd like to not fucking die today. And then just walked up to the front. And dude, every,

you can't even, it's hard to even express to people just how Raven and that whole situation. Because it's like, A, the idea of an old fucking papal being like so racist or whatever that he sees, he gets that close to just a Mexican.

And think, like, oh, this is it. You know, this is, you know, I'm done for it. But also the added irony of it's in the middle of a pandemic, they've got mask on and he don't. I know. He screams, I don't want to die today. It's just ridiculous.

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What's up, John Reed? Man, how are you guys? This is great. Are you all, you were all in different places, right? Well, the Dru and Trayor and Burbank in the Valley. Well, Drew's in North Hollywood. I'm in Burbank. Where are you at, Corey?

I'm here in Chickamauga, Georgia, as always. Okay, cool, man. Well, you're back home too, right? Yeah, Hickory. Hickrickory. Yeah, moved back a couple years ago. But I was in Studio City, and, Trey, we have a mutual friend, and W. Earl Brown. Yes, sir.

Yeah, yeah. We're all buddies with Earl at this point, but, yeah, Earl, when I, he was the first person I met in Burbank, and he like we quickly hit it off and he's since become like, you know, a good buddy in mine who's really like, I'm, you know, he's like showed me the ropes and that type of thing. Anytime I have a question about shit out here or whatever, I always ask him. And he's, yeah, he's awesome. I love Earl. And I knew y'all were buddies too. He's, and he knew that me and you knew each other and all of that.

Sometimes when y'all would be together a couple of times, he, like, texted me or whatever. But every single time that happened, I was either out of town. or otherwise indisposed or something. But yeah, I love Earl. God, he's such a good guy. And, you know, he's one of those guys, what, from Kentucky, making it in Los Angeles. And he was looking for any kind of a buddy from the South. Yeah.

Oh, man, that's why we hit it off so fucking easy. Like, the first time I made him in L.A., it was instantly like, you know how it is when you made a comic. And you're, even if you've just known this comic for 10 minutes, you're already going to be better friends with him than someone you've known. for 15 years because you both have this mutual, I understand. It was, even though Earl's not a comic, I think just the Southern man trying to deal with Hollywood shit, we were just to me, like, all right, fuck this shit, right?

You're right, fuck this shit. All right, cool. How you been, man? How's, what are you, I don't know, what are you doing right now that you're not on the road? How are you handling it? How are you handling the pandemic? Thanks for having me on. Are we rolling right now?

We good? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we're rolling. Okay, all right. Thank you. I'm good, man. It's weird. I've been, you know, hunker down in Hickory doing TikToks with Mama.

I have upped my TikTok game. I kind of got on there as a joke because, you know, anytime that there's a new social media platform coming out, I'm like, really? I got to learn this shit all over again. And I'll get on there and I'll try and grab my name just in case it gets too big and I got to go over there. And, you know, so I grabbed my name.

And then I noticed that my comedy. was up there like people were lip-syncing my comedy yeah i was like oh that's interesting but what can i do with that then tic-tok has a duet function where you can duet with people and i thought well if you lip-sync my comedy i will duet with you and it's just me responding as an audience member to them doing my comedy nice and that kind of developed and now it's like i went from zeroed people to like the 32-000 without even really trying and the numbers are crazy but I did get my mom on there. We did some together with her dancing around.

We danced to that song by the weekend. 24 carrot. Oh, okay. It was great, man. So I just been hunkered down in Hickory. How are you guys doing? Good. I'm not on TikTok with my mom.

It sounds like I need to. I'm the same way as you. As soon as something new comes along, I'm like, God damn, and I just now figured out Twitter, and I still suck at that. Yeah, I'm also that way. and, you know, have yet to overcome that with any of the new things.

Like with TikTok, I'm still not on it, but obviously I know it is. People send it to me, which is what I was about to say, I think you're probably on to something because, anecdotally speaking, I get the impression that there is a healthy redneck southern country, white trash, whatever, all of the above contingent on TikTok. Because, dude, all my damn, all my boasts are back home and shit

are constantly sending me TikTok. It's all Amber does, dude. Like, that's her form of, like, she doesn't hardly watch shows anymore. She just scrolls through TikTok. And at first I was like, oh, it's some fucking bullshit. But, like, I've gone down the rabbit hole and, like, you know, for an ADD some bitch like me,

it's pretty goddamn funny stuff. That little boy, want to pet that dog is my favorite video of the last three decades. Can I pet that dog? Yeah, did you say that one, Ray? I'll see that one, yeah. Let me pet that dog. I don't know how it started.

I guess some kid said that about a puppy. I haven't seen the original video. Oh, I've seen the original. It's the best. It's the best. Because you can see how cute he is. My wife showed it to me and she got me on TikTok. I downloaded it recently and discovered that I'd already downloaded it years ago.

And I guess decided that it wasn't for me. Like I'd never put a video up. I just had an account. And that was clearly a mistake, not getting in on the ground floor of TikTok. I have since, I think put up six videos. They're doing terribly. My wife, on the other hand, getting literally hundreds of thousands of views of her just showing freckles on her skin

and some thing that she's used the sound from another video of it talking about it being a beauty mark. And all these women argue with her. Like she put one up and was like, this means I'm a witch and she's just lip singing into it. And then all these women coming there, you're not a witch. And she had 300,000 views. So like every form of social media.

I don't understand how the algorithm works with TikTok. I think because it's a new platform, they're like, oh, yeah, come join TikTok. You'll have millions of followers in two days. And it does. It's weird. Like, I went. Up for me.

You just got to keep at it, buddy. Yeah, I just, I literally just, I've had a Snapchat for a while, but I just, I look like somebody will send me a Snapchat and I'll look at it. And that's pretty well the extent of my use of Snapchat. And then the other day, I was like, you know, Corey, you've got a lot of time off. You should be constructive and learn Snapchat because it seems to be the hip thing. And I was so proud of myself. I sent out like my first actual snap to like I asked my wife, like, how do I do this?

She's like, you got to put it on your story, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I felt so relieved. And Amber was like afterwards. Look at me. I'm on Snapchat. And she was like, yeah, like, you're fucking 10 years late, dude. Like, it's over. Like, everybody's on TikTok now, so you're fucked.

Right. Yeah. I feel like Snapchat has kind of went a little down. I think, you know, it's like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and then it was Snapchat, but I think Snapchat, like, I think TikTok's about to take over Snapchat. Well, let me tell you my disappointment in Snapchat and why I didn't fuck with it. I was led to believe that Snapchat was just nothing but titties. Like, when I first got it, I was like, oh, yeah, this.

is what all the people, so like any snap I get should be tities. And then it would just be like my buddy and his dog in a yard. And I was like, it's the opposite for what I want. Yeah. Yeah. It's disappointing like once people figure it out like that it's not that because I, same way I thought, oh, this is great. You mean I can look at a picture and it'll go away forever.

Yeah. Oh, I can send all kinds of things. And I can get all kinds of things, boobies, whatever. And then it slowly turned into like people knowing that I was on it, like, from like a show and dudes sending me pictures of their turds in a toilet. You do give off a, hey man, it's fine. You can send me a turd picture. Yeah, I would go, dude.

Did any of the turds, were they in the shape of boobies or maybe? Oh, you know what? I probably projected it onto some turds, but it's hard to do. You know, I did notice a couple that this guy's obviously got a hemorrhoid or an anal fissure because he pooped a circle. Like a smoke ring. So, Re, I know for a fact it is for me and I also would have to assume that this is the longest you have gone without being on stage.

Is that correct? Yes. And so, you know, we're all obviously missing doing stand-up. That's the number one thing I'm missing. But I wanted to ask you because I've got a couple different answers, I guess. Aside from actually performing and being on stage, what's something that you're like really missing right now? about being on the road?

Well. Because I mean, God damn, I mean, you've been touring for how long? Yeah, like I quit my job in 98. Yeah.

I mean, been road dogging ever since with a, you know, a couple of random acting gigs here and there, but, I mean, it's mostly stand up.

And, I mean, and it's for, you know, narcissistic reasons, I missed the immediate gratification of knowing that I was funny in that moment.

And then people coming up to me and telling me I was great. I don't get that at home with mama. No. No, me either. Do you guys think it's going to change forever or will it go back to normal? Like just doing stand-up, you mean as far as the way crowds react to it and what it's like the process of doing it? Is that, do you mean, do you think that'll go back or what? I mean, like, with crowds coming out to a, a, a club and theater and packing themselves in there. Yeah.

It'll go back to normal for some time, right? I hope this was not a forever thing. My personal opinion, and I don't, this is my butt talking, because obviously I don't fucking know, but I think, I think, yeah, eventually it definitely will go completely back to normal, but I don't think that will happen until there's some kind of like definitive solution to the coronavirus, whether it be a vaccine or whatever. I think once that kind of happens,

and we have kind of an official all clear, there'll still be a lot of paranoid people, but I think a lot of people will be dying to go to live entertainment again, and I think that'll be fine. But, you know, you probably know this. I didn't until very recently, somehow missed it what was happening, but there are some clubs in some states are, like, opening back up under, like, these really strict precautions

and having whole weekends worth the shows and stuff, and it's very different. they're capping everything at 100 or less people nobody sits with someone that they didn't come there with like only families sit together all the tables or x number of feet apart or whatever you get you get your temperature measured when you come through the door you got to wear a mask out of y'all like what a fucking meat thermometer they just like poking at your head like what they've got these like radar gun things now that they point at your head and it tells you the temperature and anyway all kinds of crazy shit like that so obviously that's one thing and that's very very different but i don't i don't i I don't personally think it will get back to what we would consider normal until it's like right and truly over like until we actually fixed it and I mean, you know, that ain't going to happen for a long time. I think you're right. I'm not looking forward.

I mean, I got a gig. My next gig is going to be in Tampa, Florida, June 11th. And I feel sorry for the people who come to that Thursday show because I'm going to be rusty. Yeah, buddy. Yeah. And I never liked, you know, no one really loves performing for a half-family room or for 30 people. But it seems like that's what's going to have, it's going to have to be that for a couple of months. Like you said, until there's an actual shot that we can get, that they go like, you're good, go do your thing.

People are going to be afraid. I'm not looking forward to people wearing masks in the comments. comedy club. I like to see the mouth moving and laughing. I don't know what kind of face they're making. If they're sitting there at a table with a mask on, I mean, for health reasons, thank you. But, like, you know, as a comedian looking at a room full of people with a mask, not be a little thing about what you just said is that like, yeah, I know comic likes playing to a half-empty room or whatever, but the sort of like the band-aid that you would typically put on that situation, if the room is half-empty is, you shove all those people together at the front and you sort of just, you know,

black out the back of the room. And so it seems like, you know, you're just playing into a full smaller room or whatever. But like you can't, you literally can't do that. Like it's going to, it has to look and feel half empty by the, you know,

the rules the way that they are. So I mean, yeah, it's, you know, it's wild, it's wild out there. Have you done any online shows? Oh,

no, I've, let's see here. I did one for the comedy zone in Charlotte. They were asking me to, they were doing like an online, line show to raise money for the staff. And, but that wasn't like, I've seen different ones.

It wasn't like we went to the club and stood on a stage in front of nobody and talked to the camera. Right. It was recording stuff at home and just sending it in. But, and I've seen those. Have you guys done anything like that? We stand. Corey and I have.

Me and Drew have done a couple. And then as a group, we've done, well, we, now we didn't do the thing when we actually go to the club. We just, we did stand up in our, in my attic and it was to a Zoom crowd. And the way they did it was you could hear the laughter. It was kind of weird. I mean, I could hear the sounds and I just hope they were laughter.

And I just kind of buried my head and went through it. But we've also done a couple of the like Q&As for the clubs for like, we've done a handful of the ones for like the staff and stuff. Yeah. Those were Q&As though. The thing about the standup, I mean, well, you know, Carmen Morales, we did one with her and she called it methadone. You know, it's keeping me from itching, but it's not the drug I want.

And I agreed with that. The first one we did, I felt great after. It was fun. It was weirdly fun. And I heard people laugh. And what I did is I would pick someone out who laughed physically. And then I would just pin them. So that was the only person.

And I would just watch them like, you know, rise and fall. I mean, all right, well, that's my up and down. But, you know, I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. Yeah, I didn't watch the crowd at all. I was weirded out by it. So I'd just turn my computer around. You could see the people who had zoomed in to watch you.

You could see their faces. Yeah. And they were all like all over your screen like what, 2030, 100 or? I think. If you put it in gallery view, it's like that, yeah. I think it's 16 or something.

Yeah. Wow. And again, the second one, we did another one in my mind. I was like, all right, the first one,

it was just one of those beginners luck things. I had a good time. And the second one, I also had fun. But like, you know, it is different. It's weird.

It's just, it's obviously odd to just stand there and do jokes in your living room to not a live audience, but you can hear enough. And, and, and, you know, me and,

We and Drew both, like, we definitely tailored our sets to be like, the first one we did, like, it was pretty much all, hey, isn't this a kooky time we're living in set? And, you know, it worked, but it was weird. I did two more, like, other ones. I did a Zoom show where it was just like 10 minutes or whatever, and my wife set off the fire alarm in our kitchen in the middle of my set. And so that was fun. That was the weirdest heckle I've ever gotten.

But then I did one on Instagram. live and that's the worst platform to do it. Really? Because you can't see their faces or? Yeah, you can only see one other person and the host, whoever the host is is who you can see. Now this particular host, he's quarantining with his family. So he had his family in the audience and I was getting laughs out of his little brother

and that was cool. But like it's still, I was doing an audience. I was doing a set up to four people. Right. That's weird, man. I mean, I guess I would do it if I had to eventually. I'm not looking forward to it. It seems like extra work.

And by the way, Drew, someone pulled a firearm during my set one time for real at a college gig in Wisconsin somewhere years ago. This was like when I first started headlining. And it was about halfway in. Fire alarm goes off. Everyone's got to go outside. I had a wireless microphone. So I took it outside. And then the fire department comes in.

Now they're in the cafeteria where I was doing a show. yes, cafeteria. And they're looking around for any kind of fire or a bomb or whatever. But I have the wireless microphone. I just started talking to the fireman and they didn't know where the sound was coming from. So I had a good time with it. But that's never fun when the fire alarm goes off during your set. No, and she was behind me like fanning the fire along.

She was killing. I wasn't, but she was killing. That actually happened to me before too once at side splinters. when I was emceeing for for Leigham Morgan, but it was when I was on stage at the beginning of the show. And it was like, and it was a, so nobody pulled it. It was, you know, that place, that building was not the,

not the nicest establishment. Something just fucked up. It just like, it just went off while I was up there. I'm supposed to have an alarm. It was funny. It was funny. Well, I mean, obviously it didn't work the way it was supposed to. There was no fire.

Yeah, Bobby Jewel got drunk and punched it one night. No, it literally just like started going off, like for like just some kind of malfunction. Nothing like set it off. And we didn't know that at the time. And I tried to, I like stayed up there for a minute. And at first I was like, I was like trying to make fun of them because literally nobody got up or re. No one treated it like an actual fire alarm at all. Everybody just sat there like, the fuck is this bullshit.

Which is like that that is what was happening. But it's still funny that like just. what is the point of a goddamn fire alarm if everyone who hears it, just treats it like a car alarm. It's like, what the fuck is it? Yeah. But like,

I stood up there and was making jokes like that. I was like making fun of it before, but like I'm still standing on the goddamn stage. You know what I mean? Yeah, baby. What a way to do. Right. And Bridgett,

Bridget, I came up to hear something and was like yelling at me. He's just like, get off the, like, get off the fucking stage. Get them out. Like, I had to tell everybody to actually leave and all this shit while we

figured it out. and it was a fucking shit show. I have hardly ever taken a fire alarm seriously. Right. And I think it's because of the way I was brought up, like, because in high school, some jerk was always pulling the fire alarm.

So it was always a prank. I've never heard a fire alarm and then seen smoke in my life. No, it just means somebody's cooking a hamburger too high temperature and there's a little smoke, whatever. So it's like when you hear one,

at hotels I've heard it and just been like, well, I'm going to wait and see, I'm going to look out the window and see this. Yeah, they'll call. Yeah, I'm on the eighth floor.

I can get down there, Yeah, that'll be fine. Talking roll. Speaking of side spliters there in Knoxville, which is where... Oh, good. Which is where... No, it's... Don't worry.

Which is where... It's where Drew and Trey started out doing comedy. I myself. Where I met John Riepe at. Yeah. You were the first headliner I feel like, John, who treated me like a fucking comic. Well, good. I'm glad it was...

Yeah, man. You, like, gave me tags and all that shit. It was awesome. Because, like, most headlines either ignore you or act like you suck. You know, that's when you knew you were doing good. though when the headlighted like they sucked. So all three of us, you know, we started out in the South and we don't, we don't often get, we don't often just have, it's usually just us three on the podcast.

We don't normally get awesome guests, especially other comedians who are also from the South. So we started comedy in the South, but like admittedly, we're in a couple classes below you in terms of when we got started and how we broke was, you know, we got really lucky on the internet. So I guess my question to you was for someone who came along a little. above us. What was it like for you starting out as a Southern comedian? Like, did you think that pretty quickly you needed to move to New York or L.A? Because it's not really the thing now, but back then it seemed like that's just what you had to do. Yes. Well, when I started, it was,

first time on stage was 19, probably 96 or 90s. God damn, you're old, John. That's right, man. I'm starting to feel it too, buddy. But there was no internet, you know. So I had to to, I had the luxury though. I actually worked at a TV station. When I was in college, I was a mass communication major, and I worked at PBS in North Carolina. So I had access to really good equipment. So when I started doing comedy at night, you know,

about when I got to where I thought I was a pretty decent 15, 20 minutes, I got three cameras from the, right, from the TV station. I had guys come in and shoot it for me. I paid them in Budwisers. Hell yeah. Hicking fingers. And they were like cool. And I went back.

I had access to free VHS tapes because they were recycled them. They were just laying in a bin. And they said, you got to take these. And I can make 20 copies at once with all these different VHS decks that were at the TV station. So I literally had my own half hour special that I made myself within a year or two of doing it. Wow. That's fine. So what I did was I made like 100 copies of that.

I made a fake resume. I took a horrible headshot of me. And I stuck in an envelope when I sent it to every comedy club that I could get the address for. And then months go by slowly the offers come trickling. And when I say offers, I mean like, yeah, you can come here for 50 bucks. Right. Yeah, of course. And so, but to me, it's like, wow, I could do this.

I'm getting paid, you know. and I was young enough and dumb enough to just think, well, I'm just going to quit my job and do this full time for a while and see what happens. But that was when you could actually get work as a feature act without knowing the headline. Right, right. Yeah.

And that's a whole different ballgame now. For sure. I think that will change in a lot of ways too. And that's not even my idea. We had Roy Wood Jr. on the podcast, and he was talking about features who don't know. That's really going to change. They're going to do a lot of locals now.

Do you remember anything that was on your fake resume when you sent it out to comedy clubs? Oh, God. You know what? I think I put on there that I got class clown in high school. Was that true? Yes, it is true. Me too, buddy. I give a shit about that.

You know, I just thought something, you know. I just put in there, performed at Charlie Goodnights, regular in C. that's a next bullet, that's two bulletin points now. Right. And the third was like, also performed in Chapel Hill one time.

And you know, like all these different, I made it look like a bunch of shit, but, you just got to get rid of the white space. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Yeah, I used to, because I started outside Splitters and I would talk about things like this to the acts that would come through, the air features and the headliners and stuff. And like I would hear somewhat similar stories of what you said about just like sending,

the equivalent of cold calling all these clubs and stuff like that. And it was weird because I always, I was always not always. Of course, sometimes it did not go particularly well. But for the most part, I was doing pretty well, like, as an incident. Whatever time I actually got or shows I did would go well consistently. But like, and I would send, I would get email addresses or whatever. And I would reach out like that. Like I, and I never once, ever once had one of those.

overtures like actually amount to anything and I didn't and I know and like I didn't know you know of course part of me is like I guess I just I just ain't into my shit or this shit or whatever but I also feel like part of it was you kind of started at a weird time right because like that that period of like the 90s and everything because there had been the 80s boom that just died utterly right in the 90s were rough generally speaking and then and then I feel like around the time a little bit starting a little bit before I like I got started, which is in 2010, like the late aught was sort of like the beginning of this sort of like second comedy boom such that it is or whatever. I think you're right.

It's always kind of done, you know, like a roller coaster. And yeah, I think also what worked for me, I was like I said, young. And I was just a goofball, man. I was high energy. I used to call myself the Hickory dance machine. I remember you dancing at that game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually put that at the end of the tape that I sent out to see if they watched the whole thing.

Because if they had watched my whole tape, which why would they? But if they did, they would see like, well, what was that at the end? Was that you getting kicked out of a game? But yeah, so I would make fun of dancing by dancing. And club owners, managers for a feature act, they just wanted some high-energy goofball not to ruin the headliner's time. Hey, and just so every, all of our fans out there listening know, when you say you were dancing at a game, that was the, if I'm not mistaken,

the inaugural Carolina Panthers game in 1995 and Clemson, and you got called onto the field by their mascot, and then were promptly arrested, is that correct? You're very close. That's like 98% right. That's the best I've ever done on anything in my life. Yeah, huge football fan. Me and my buddies go to a game.

We finally have our own NFL team. We go tailgating. We're getting hammered in the parking lot, drinking pepper vodka at 10 in the morning just because it's been found. Pepper, pepper vodka? Yeah, I was like, who's is that? Who cares? It's vodka drinking. And we got really lit and going to the game.

And every time out, they would play music. And I would get up in my seat and dance like an idiot just to make my friends laugh. And that would get bigger and bigger. So by the third quarter, you know, the whole stadium has kind of watched me get, you know, more and more like spectators out of this thing. And every time out they kind of look over to see what that guy's doing. And third quarter, my good buddy Marty says, you need to get on that grass hill behind the goalpost so the whole stadium can see your ass. And I was like, it's always somebody named Marty. Yeah, you're a jeez.

That's a party, Marty Marty. One man party Marty. Hell yeah. And I'm like, let's do it. And so I get on this grass hill, you know, Clemson had that grass hill like a little lawn that you could just sit there behind the goalposts. Right. And so I go up there and I'm just dancing my ass off. Now a player got hurt and they're working on the player for 10 minutes while they're playing music.

Now everyone's looking at me. I mean, I'm conducting, I don't know, 75,000 people. Like I would do one dance move, point to that side of that stadium and do the whole Colgan hand behind me here like that. Yeah. They get big. And I'd point over here like that. And I can dance. So I got rhythm.

So it was kind of fun. And then the mascot sees that happening. And no one's looking at the mascot. Now they're looking at this drunk kid. And so the mascot, Sir Per, that's the mascot. Yes. He's been knighted. What can I?

Sir Walter Raleigh. Personally knighted. Sir Per. Sir Per comes over and he pauls me out like that. Like come out here and dance with me. And before I can see, yes or no, my friends throw me over the fence. Now I'm on the five-yard line. I'm dancing up a storm.

And as I'm doing the worm on the five-yard line, all the cheers turn to booze. And I'm thinking, maybe they don't like the worm. But they're not booing me. They're booing the cops who are running out onto the field behind me to arrest me because they didn't see the invitation. And then we quickly all learn together, me, the cops, surper, security. that Sir Per does not have the authority to invite people onto the field. That didn't come with his knighthood.

Right, yeah, his knighthood should infer that it is authority. Nobility is the law. That's a good point. They didn't want to hear that. They didn't care about Robert's rules. They wedged me out, man. If you've seen the video, look at the end of it. The cops come out of nowhere.

it's midworm my butt is at the apex of the worm they came out of nowhere grabbed me by the back of my pants and it is a full on wedge and they walked me 99 yards to the other end zone they made an example out of it so is that video still is that out there I can YouTube that

do yes if you John I think Sir Per set all that up he set you up to get to make an example out of you that's how nobility will treat you that you know they'll let you entertain him, but then you know what's funny? Like that happened a long time ago. I've told this story many times on air and stuff like that in Charlotte. And over the years I've made a joke like whoever that guy is. Like I don't know who the surfer is. You know, I don't know who the real man is or female for that matter. I don't know who's under the mask. I was like, whoever you are,

show yourself to me, all right? And so over the years I've been making that plea and I finally found out who the guy is. It's a guy named Tommy Donovan. And he came to my show in Greenville, South Carolina not too long ago. And we got drunk together and danced the night away. I said, thank you for my career because you started all of it. I had not done stand up at that point. I had been talking about it. And then finally, like that moment, I made 75,000 people laugh without saying one word. Marty says, you do what? You know what, man, you've been talking about this. It's time to take it to the stage. And so in a weird way, Sir Per gave me my career. Now, when did Marty die? Marty's alive.

Marty's fine. Yeah, he's, Marty is that one guy who laughed at everything I said all the time. Yeah. And, you know, he was, he was very on my side. I told Marty, like, he would tell me, you need to be a comedian. I go, okay, well, let's, I'm going to do that one day. And I kept saying, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. And he finally said, stop talking about it or do it. And so I went to Good Night's Comedy Club, got on the open mic, And he drove from Charlotte to Raleigh. That's like two and a half hours. Just for that open mic night and a room full of 30 people. He sat in the back with a camcorder and recorded the set. And it's embarrassing.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, but Marty rules, man. Marty is great. You guys would love Marty. I bet. There's no doubt in my mind that we would love Marty. John, tell all our listeners out there where they can find you on the Twitters and the TikTok. and the Facebooks and all that.

Well, what I'm really most proud of and what I've been doing since I can't do stand-up is working on my podcast. Yeah. And it's called Countryish. And you can go to Countryishpodcast.com. There's an audio player. There's a video player.

We're on all the other. Whatever you're listening to this podcast on, I guarantee you country is on there too. Give that a chance. But I'm at John Reap. Everything's at John Reap, J-O-N-R-E-E-P. right on brother you just reminded me real quick when you said country ish i saw you did a video for comedy central where your quarantine confession was that you're not really a redneck yes and

uh i identified with that i agreed with everything you said but i did want to ask you do you feel like though that that's only in the south that you're not a redneck because i feel like if you're if people are listening right now from connecticut and they hear so you got hammered drunk and got kicked out dancing on the middle of a football game and now that launched your stand-up career and the dude doing it all was named Marty. Right. Sounds pretty red to me.

I agree. But in Hinkry, it's like, well, no, that's just Tuesday, man. Yeah, you guys are living the same sort of thing I had to go through. In the South, I was never, I never considered myself a redneck. I was just a funny dude. You know, I was a dancer. Dance with nights. Yeah.

Yeah. As soon as I left. the south and started doing stand-up, people were like, oh, man, I like that redneck thing you do. I'm like, what are you talking about? They go, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cool, man, you're a redneck. It's cool.

And I'm like, but I'm not. So, and then, of course, over the years, I do things that are rednecky, like the Dodge commercials. Right. So that's sort of like solidify that in people's heads who don't actually know me. But if you've been paying attention, I've always said. My first DVD was called Metro, Jeff. Yeah.

Yeah. So I've always been kind of putting it out there. But yeah, I didn't realize I was any of that until I moved to Los Angeles. And then, you know, they will tell you pretty quick. Oh, no, no, no, no, you're redneck. Is that where country-ish comes from? Is that the concept behind country-ish? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm with all things comedy. And, you know, I've been doing a podcast with them for a while. We called it fried for a while. Me and Sarah Tiana did it. Yeah. And then when I moved and she went somewhere else, I wanted to change the name. They wanted me to just call it country boy, but I go like, but I'm not really 100% that. I go, this ish thing's taken off.

Why don't we do a version of that? So I just put the ish at the end of country because that's what I am, you know. And you saw in that confinement confession, I mean, my first French kiss was at the movie Purple Rain, you know. Prince fan. Yeah. But I do. but I am country, but I don't hunt, I don't fish, you know, I don't really do those things. Some of my best friends do, and I can hang out with them, but I don't really.

That's, yeah, that's how I feel better. I don't hunt, but my brother-in-law and my father-in-law both do, and so I get the deer meat anyway, so why the fuck would I? Like, I'm the type of redneck that loves eating deer meat, but I'm not about to make that happen at all myself. That's me. That's me. Yeah, no, we all, yes. And I mean, you know, you already said it, but it's true. We all very much relate to exactly what you're talking about. And I feel, you know, like we all feel pretty much the same way about that thing. Because, I mean, I made, like, you know, I have friends from back home or people back home that are like, will say like, yeah, he's full of shit.

Because, like, you know, he was a goddamn redneck that grew up with me. And, you know, my thing's always been like, you're in Salina, Tennessee. You're right. I was it. I was the opposite of a redneck, you know. I was one of the queers or whatever. It's a lot of two seats. You're correct about that.

But like, dude, out here or anywhere else, like outside of, you know, where we're from, like, I'm the biggest redneck most people meet in a given six month period or whatever. And so, like, you know, it's just all relative. When we're in a fucking meeting us three together, I don't know how it is for y'all individually, but when we're in a meeting us three together and there's network execs or like, whoever it is in the room, all three of us could just, we'll just start having a conversation and they always think we're doing a bit. Even when we're just talking,

but they're like, oh, this is great. This is the show right here. And we're like, we're talking about where we're going to park. Right. I mean,

I remember it really got on my nerves and it still does that I have to address it every time I do if I'm not in the South. Like, if I perform at the comedy store, I know the first bit I'm going to do is going to be about the way that I sound. otherwise they can't relax and be comfortable and go like, oh, no, no, he's just a comedian like the other guys. He just sounds different.

But it makes me mad that I have to do that. I'm glad to hear you say that because, yeah, you know, you've been doing it so much longer than us. And after moving to L.A., I definitely found that. I mean, at first, like, from the first time I started doing sets out here, I was doing that because I felt like I should. And I also would get annoyed at that because I'd be thinking of it. because also like especially for you're not doing that much time and I would think like god damn it

I don't want to do the accent bit tonight you know because I want to try out this other thing or whatever and then so a couple times I would a couple times I have gone up and not at all addressed it and every single time it was like fucking weird like you could just feel this I mean I mean I know exactly what you mean like you you you kind of have to yeah you have to give the origin if you don't if you sound like this you've got to give the origin I think it was easier with I was living in New York, and I went back recently and did just like a week of shows, and I did some good bar shows and a few club shows, and I feel like it was a little easier there. I don't know if there's a reason why.

You're right. Well, because Hollywood is different than New York, because I think New York, they're a little bit smarter than your average crowd in Los Angeles. A lot of people who go to Los Angeles are there to become an actor, become rich quick, or, you know, that kind of stuff. Where in New York, that might exist, but there's everything else too. And I found in New York the times I perform there,

I mean, I still have to talk about it. It's better if I do. But the times that I haven't, they'll at least, like, they'll start off like this. But then after the first real joke that you tell with a punchline, they go, oh, okay. Also, they do this to fucking everybody there. That's the default mode.

That ain't got shit to do with your accent. That's just, you ain't made. Hey, so fuck you, you know? Yes, yeah. That's so true. I remember one of the first times it got on my nerves in L.A. I was at a restaurant, and the waitress comes over, and she's like, well, can I get you to drink?

And, you know, we all love iced tea, sweet tea, whatever. And I said something like, us take a tea, you know. And she goes, Tay, where are you from? Like that, just started making fun of my accent, you know. And I had already been on a sitcom. I had already done commercials. And I was like, who is this wannabe actress, waitress, giving me shit over my accent?

Go get my T-bit. Well, I didn't see that, but it went through my head. Yeah. Well, hell, yeah. Thank you, man. Yeah, but it's great. It's great talking to you and thank you for being on here. If anybody doesn't know, you've alluded to it,

but, yeah, Reap has been one of the funniest dude around for a long time now. It was season one of last standing, right? Actually, I was on season five, 2007. Damn. But they, dude, that whole thing is, it's, you know, that show had an identity crisis. It would come, it would go, it would get canceled, it would come back. It's very confusing. Right.

It's all one big blur. But, yeah, John, and then also you mentioned the hemi commercial. He was the hemi guy for a while. I think got a hemian. Everybody loved those. Yeah, and so definitely. check him out if you're not already familiar with him somehow, but yes. I forgot about this one story.

I forgot about this one story I want to tell before we get out here about John, specific, but I don't know that he remembers because it was two separate occasions, and both times me and him were both Panther dancing drunk. And so one of the first time, me and John had worked together a couple times, and he called, had me come up and form in Atlanta,

and we got to be buddies, and I was sitting there talking about how I wanted to move to New York, but I was like, man, goddamn, like I don't, I don't know, like I don't have no money. And, we were drunk. He was like, dude, fuck that shit, you're good. You're going to make it one day. Here's what you need to do. You need to just get a fuck ton of credit cards and just run them motherfuckers up.

You'll be able to pay it back. You're good. Just go up there, live it up. You'll succeed. And then once you succeed, just fucking pay off all that debt. And I was like, fuck yeah. So I did. I went to New York.

I ran up all this goddamn credit card debt and shit like that. Then after that, you know, Trey makes this video. get a book deal. It's a big book deal. I immediately paid off the credit cards. And the next time I saw Reap, I told him that story. And he goes, he was like a Ricky Bobby Reese Bobby moment. He was like, yeah.

What? You did that? And I was like, yeah, he goes, God damn, son, I was fucked up. That's all true. I mean, that's all true. And I did, I kind of did that, you know, that's, I was telling you kind of what I did. I know. I didn't know the formula that would work for everybody.

Well, here's the deal. It won't. I'm really great. So it did work for me and it did work for John. But John Reap, everybody, his podcast is countryish. Look him up on Twitter. He's also now on TikTok for all you young people out there that are cooler than me. Thank you all for listening to the Well-Ret podcast.

We love you. And, skew. Thank you all for listening to The Well-Red show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you. God bless you. and skew