wellRED podcast - #176 - Donkey Basketball Season Tickets w/Scott Miller!

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

On this weeks podcast the boys discuss The Wire, The Great British Bakeoff, Art during the time of the pandemic, and then SUPER BAD ASS singer/songwriter Scott Miller joins us to add some clarity to last weeks discussion on Donkey Basketball! This was a super fun one, y'all!wellredcomedy.comhttp://scottmiller.vectorstaging.com To Buy Corey's new Special, PayPal whatever amount you want to [e-mail] or Venmo @ButterCreamCorey. Just be sure to include your email in the notes, and if you have and trouble, shoot an email to [e-mail]

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. And it's called Rocket.

money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want any more, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create custom budgets based on past spending. Rocket money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features.

I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. And I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing. any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I had a, I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got, I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies, you know, those weren't a little like

the cue ball looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was that response to? What was that a reply gift for just when I did something stupid? Something fat and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well-read today. That's RocketMoney. money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast they're the what's going on well red nation it's you boy the show corey rind forster here as you know uh well red comedy dot com

w e l r ed comedy dot com no dates right now to speak of because of the pandemic hope everybody is staying safe i hope if you're essential your ultra safe and being taken care of, and we really appreciate you. You can still go to well-read comedy.com and check out our merch. Subscribe to our newsletter so you'll know whenever we get back on the road. Grab our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie Out of the Dark, grab our album, Well-Red Live from Lexington, along with shirts and hats and all that good stuff. This portion of the podcast is always brought to you by Smokey Boysgrilling.com. Go to Smokey Boysgrilling.com to get all the rubs for all you meets.

Also, carve vodka.com. Do you want to drink like the show? I know you do. And I know you got time to do it right now. So go to carve vodka.com and carve your own path, you silly butts, with Jacksonville's first and only craft vodka distillery. Also, special, special, special sponsor on the podcast this week is your boy, the show. Corey Ryan Forster and my special Corey Ryan Forster live at the Bijou. You can pick that up.

All you got to do is, uh, it's, oh shit, where's, I even got my notes right. Trying to freaking promote something and I don't even have my notes correct. Um, okay. All you got to do to get my special. A lot of people picked it up for pre-order and I really appreciate that. A lot of people have said, oh, is it still available? Bro, are you kidding me? It's going to be available for a long time because we're not able to go back on the road.

So all you got to do to get my special is to PayPal me at, um, it's buttercream Corey at gmail.com or on Venmo at buttercream Corey and here's how much my special costs. My special costs, however much money you want to give me. I don't care. Literally, I just want everybody to be able to afford it during these times. You give me 50 cents. If you can't afford 50 cents, just see them in email at buttercream Corey at gmail.com

and I'll send you the link anyways because I want everybody to be able to get this and to be entertained because I know that you've already run out of Netflix and shit like that. But if you can afford to pay for the special, then, you know, slide it in the Venmo and the PayPal there, and I will send you a link. If for some reason you do that and you do not receive a link pretty immediately. If it's during the day, you'll get it immediately because I'll see it, dang on my phone, and I'll send it to you. If I'm asleep, you'll get it the next day. That's just how it works.

I don't have an intern or anything. But if for some reason you don't get your link, just send me an email or blow me up on Twitter, because that just means that for some reason it didn't show up on my PayPal or Venmo. There have been a couple disappear, but I always make it right. So, midway through this podcast, you will be able to hear or see if you're watching this on our YouTube page a clip from my special. So I hope you pick that up. And otherwise, please enjoy this podcast with special guest, Scott Miller. Ski-you!

They're the... They're the... They're all rednecks. But sex, they care way too much, but... ...ne't give a fun. Next step makes some people upset. They got... Three big old dicks that you can sun.

Oh, here we are. Hey. I was about to lie and say I didn't want to tell you all this story. But I've actually, what? I'm just laughing at people don't know this because I'm going to edit that part out. And now for our not hitting part. It's still tickling me because it's so true, we don't live. Anyway, I was about to lie and say I've been dying to tell you all this,

but I already have told you I texted y'all this, but I did want to, I'm going to tell it on the podcast again. But I forgot it way. No, I doubt you forgot this. I thought, I don't know,

this was something else in my opinion. So the other night, me and Katie were watching Hamilton when it first came out, available for streaming. Neither one of us ever seen it. We're both very excited. Watching Hamilton at multiple points, I thought I would think to myself,

I'd just be sitting there and grossed in it. And then I would have some thought, like, man, this is fucking good. And then I would like, then I would. Oh, right. Yeah, right. Then I would kind of laugh. Five years, yeah.

Right, exactly. Then I would kind of laugh at myself like, yeah, no shit. It's good. You dumb ass, right? And I was, that had happened a couple of times. And I paused it to make a drink and I was going to try to explain to Kate. I was trying to explain that to Katie. And that exact thing has been happened to me a lot lately because I also just finished the

wire for the first time. And I can't tell you many times that exact same thing happened to me while watching the wire. I'd be like, God damn, this is good. I'm reading, I'm reading The Watchman right now.

And I texted you and I was like, bro, this shit is fucking unbelievable. And I was like, oh, right. Every nerd on earth is been screaming that for years. Yeah. So I was just trying to explain this sort of feeling to Katie in this little brief

intermission while I'm getting a drink. And this is how badly that. that diverged. I sent to her, I was like, I was like, okay, so I've been,

I just finished the wire, right? And she's like, what? And I've brought it up a million times, walk around the house, singing the goddamn theme song and shit. And she's just like,

what do you? And I said, the wire, you know, I've been watching the wire on the elliptical, that HBO show, and she's just nothing at all.

And I was like, and she was like, I don't know what that is. And I said, okay, I said, well, a lot of,

people consider it to be literally the greatest TV show ever made. And her eyes light up and she goes, oh, yeah, right. The one where every episode is an hour and a day and the whole season is like a cool day. And I just like, slap me across the face with like, what? And then I realized she was talking about 24 and I just cracked up and couldn't stop laughing for a minute. I was like, I was like, okay. So like the idea that apparently to her at some point she got the idea that the general consensus is that 24 is the greatest television show of all the time.

I don't know where she picked that up. But she says that. I swear to God I laugh for like three minutes before I finally got it under control. And I was like, okay. Anyway, no. All right. It's not that what it is. It's a show set in ball.

Baltimore about the drug war and she cuts me off and goes, yeah, no, I know. And Kiefer Sutherland's the star of it. I was like, what the fuck? No. No, it's not 24. So wasn't that like international terrorism? Not at all the drug war? Not at all the drug war. It was absolutely terrorism. Yeah. And I was just like, I was like, what? Why are you? Like, I felt like she was fucking with me, but she wasn't at all. She was like, okay, what? What? She had no idea. and that is, I don't know, I just, it killed me. I thought it was so hilarious, but it's also like that's hopefully indicative to people of like just how disinterested she is and everything about my world. Oh, dude. Not that I put myself in the world of the wire or nothing, but literally just show business in general. Right.

That's how little she knows or cares about it, which for the most part hits for me, honestly, for a bunch of different reasons. But like, it's true. I do what you meant, but I was imagining somebody thinking you meant and this hit for me very much, that like you try to tell her what show you watch while you work out,

and she's so disinterested in anything you have to, like, you meant she's not interested in show biz, and that kind of hits for you. But it also kind of sounds like for a second, you're saying like, yeah, I try to talk to her about my life and what it is I'm doing, and she just don't give a shit, dude. That is also kind of true.

Me too. So, like, dude, with Amber, With Amber, like, she has, no, she hasn't watched. She hasn't sat on the couch for every episode of the wire that I've watched, but she's sat there for like a lot of them. And that's what it bugs me out even more that she could be on the couch while this, which I consider like, I mean, yeah, like I get why people say this is the greatest show of all time. It's so fucking engaging.

All, every single character is awesome. The development's great. The storylines are amazing. It's fucking hilarious. The drama's awesome. It's titty. times. Like, it has literally got it all. Got it all.

But I'm, and I'm sitting there, like, between scenes having to hit Paul's just being like, oh, shit, are you serious? Did you see that? And she's just over there just very calmly reading a book about two Vikings butt fucking a milkmaid, not paying attention to anything that I'm, you know, like, I don't understand. That sounds pretty good. I mean, yeah, it's not bad.

Like, what she's got going on is not bad, but like, I don't know, man. Like, there's part of me that thinks, like, this has to be because. you know it hits for me. There's no way that this don't hit. Right. You have to be making a conscious decision not to let this hit for you because it fucking hits so hard. Katie was like, when she

was like just not, she had no idea what I was talking about. A part I left out is that I have tried multiple times, two, two times like to be literal. Two different times over the years I have tried to get Katie

to watch the wire with me. And I thought it would be a slam dunk because like she doesn't, it's not like she just watches like the real housewives and fucking property brothers and shit like that. She likes good shit. Yeah, so does that. It's just that there's no rhyme or reason to whether or not she likes something. And I thought the wire would be a slam dunk because she's really, she loves like,

she loves, detective. She loves crime. She loves true crime. And she also loves like old episodes of law and order and shit. And in my mind, it was like, the wife. is just that. But like the BAA production value and like, you know, like, much higher quality.

There's no way she won't like it. Tried two times to get her into it and failed both times. And so then she don't even remember that because she's like, what is that? And I'm like, Katie, you've watched it with me and you didn't. And she was like, no, I haven't never heard of that, never seen that in my life. Like she's just so certain, so confident in that. She's like, no, I have not. You're thinking of something else.

And I know for a fact, we've watched that. I forget. twice and I forget how much of like a and the bubble that we us three live in is one that we've put ourselves in like with you know knowing shit about TV shows and like understanding like no this is considered the greatest show of all time because like Amber had never heard of the wire and my mama who's been fucking with HBO forever like she used to watch the Sopranos back in the day I was telling her the other day I was like yeah I've been watching the wire she's like what's the wire I was like it's considered the greatest show of all time it's on HBO she's like

never heard of that shit in my fucking life and a couple people have not known what the fuck I was talking about. I hope you said it just like that. I never heard of that fucking shit my whole life. I mean, it was pretty close to that. You know my mom's gangster. But like a couple people have said,

and I mean, I guess it was one of those that was more critically acclaimed than it was, you know, universal adoration, but like, I don't know.

I get, again, I guess just because the business that we're in and I stay reading like top 10 this list and like caring about stuff like that. But we just fucking fat nerd. right but if like hot if you listen to like industry podcast if you listen to interviews with producers writers tv people studio executives whatever if they ever get asked the question about like you know

what's your list what are some of you're and the wire is on literally everyone's like getting breaking bad is on there but like yeah i feel like the wire's been like a running joke for how good it is for a long time it's like that's been one of the stereotypes of like if you ever get down time oh, I guess I can finally finish the wire. Like, I feel like I hear that as shit, time. So I finished it and... Don't say shit. I'm not going to.

I finished it, and then I immediately started a band of brothers. Yeah, that's on my list, too. Get my money's worth out of HBO Max. And I've been watching that, and guess what show? It slaps. Does it slap? Really, one of the most critically acclaimed mini-series of all the time from Stephen Spilberg

coming off from the Cuspus. Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks World War II I can't believe it slaps

but it fucking slaps so hard yeah that's on that's on my list but I've been thinking while watching it everybody knows we're in the golden age of TV

now and now almost every major provider has at least one big prestige like award show a lot of them have multiple ones you can't even

keep up with all of the super high quality next level shit that is on TV nowadays and all different providers. But like, dude, there was a period of time there,

and that period of time was the early aughts, where HBO was so much further ahead of everybody else. It is fucking unreal. They had, in that, like, five, six-hour window, they had the Sopranos, the Wire, Band of Brothers, Oz, the Pacific, sex in the city, was at that time. I didn't give a fuck about that, but it was huge.

All this shit was in the same six feet under, dead wood. Like, yeah, I mean, I still think. Like, nobody else was making anything like, yeah, that's the key right there. I still think that, like, when it comes, I trust HBO too that, now it's largely because of that period of time, but, like, I trust HBO so much more than all the other ones,

and I still think that they've got more hitters now than anybody else does. However, yeah, as you said, they were literally like the only motherfuckers in the game, and they had fucking everything. Yeah, they got it worked, because I don't think we end up with Game of Thrones. if that doesn't work. They get the money and the clout and the faith to pull it off.

They also were putting out great HBO movies back then. I just got there watching, I don't know if you've ever seen 61, the Billy Crystal directed movie about Roger Maris. Yeah, Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle's race. And by the way, during that movie, afterwards I did an little independent research. I found out Roger Maris isn't in the baseball Hall of Fame. What?

Why? Yeah. And I don't know. I don't even get much of a football. fuck about baseball and I know who Roger Maris is and I know about the six one home runs and all that. And the thing is, the thing is he also won some gold gloves and shit. It wasn't like he just had that one good year. And so they're like, well, technically he didn't have a Hall of Fame career.

But like, dog, you know, you take Bay Bruce record from him. I don't give a fuck what else you did. You're a Hall of Fame. But he's not in the Hall of Fame, man. Was it like Babe Ruth Stans being petty about it back in the day? Maybe. Honestly, yeah. I mean, because I don't know who the committee consisted of them,

but it was like, you know, AP writers and a, it probably was a bunch of people like, oh, you didn't really, you know, there's asterisk by your shit, fuck you. Again, I'm not a big baseball guy, but my understanding of their Hall of Fame process is that it's particularly like, stupid and political and stuff.

It's way less objective than the other ones. Right, yeah. And it's sort of like you got one sort of like political transgression in the world of baseball. And I'm not talking about Pete Rose. that one's obvious, but just like more piddly shit, and they'll just decide to continue out forever because of it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, it's a way, to me, it seems way more political just because it's the only one I ever hear of some bullshit about. I never really hear bullshit about. Of course, hell, I don't ever hear nothing about the NBA Hall of Fame. Maybe Drew does. I don't know. It's just the basketball Hall of Fame, ain't it? Yeah, right. Yeah.

I know a little bit about that. I was actually just reading about Roger Maritz. and honestly I cut my eyes started glazing over because it's a really long fucking article. And my conclusion without actually reading it now is that baseball writers are full of shit and they don't hit. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. I don't know, man. I mean, all those things, of course, become political at some point.

For sure, it's just like how it, with a guy like Roger Maris who, again, beat the great Bambino's record and had some gold gloves and was on some World Series teams, not putting him in like just kind of. and makes it look obvious that y'all are doing that shit dude speaking of which y'all ever just like thought about babe ruth much like how wow yes a lot right he's he's he's a while he's something else to have existed because like you look at that big deli owner looking motherfucker you know like and he was like the greatest athlete of his generation and he did it all and he did did it all so much better than anybody else of his. He was like the HBO of... He was in a century baseball.

Because he was a pitcher, the fucking Great Bambino, just smacking taters all goddamn day. Eating hot dogs between innings, smoking cigars. He was hammered drunk. He was forking horse. Buddy, the guy's unbelievable. That's... He's wild.

He is wild. Now, I mean, you know, like a dude like that, you could never even remote... Like, and I don't... just mean like, oh, yeah, you know, things are different back then. They didn't let black people play, which that's also a huge deal, you know. For sure. But, like, even if, like, let's say hypothetically, someone with Bay Bruce build and the way

he carried himself could make it a date, you wouldn't be able to just be drunk all the time and eat hot dogs and shit. Like, it just don't work that way. You can't probably can't be drunk all time and stuff. But I will say, to baseball's credit, he was also a ball and ass pitcher. And you could be a big. You can be a big fat dumb and don't hit pitcher. You can.

Bartolo Colon is exactly that. And he's fat, dumb and don't. He does hit, though. They do hit. But you can be big fat and dumb and drunk and all that and just put your ass off. That's why they made Kenny Powers,

another HBO jam, although a little bit later. That's why they made Kenny Powers a pitcher, you know, because that's the only thing you can believe. He didn't have to hit. Right. Golf? Yeah.

You can do it in golf. You can be fat and drunk in golf. hardly anymore though they're all like they're all sexy in shape and stuff you still can you still can do it but you have to be so goddamn good to be better than those people

without working out and I mean Tiger fuck the game up for everybody I mean before Tiger John Daly looked like most of them I mean except for the mullet but like they was all fat and stuff and then Tiger came in and was like no the mullet and a cadre of trailer horrors cheering for yeah but you know what I'm saying

like athletically wise he was bit like that's just how they was he was the prototype yeah he was yeah that's a that's a chototype right there yeah for sure but then tiger woods came in and changed the game and like dude when you watch the pGA tour now all them dudes weights are about that goddamn big their arms are fucking jacked like you know again it can be done but right around like boo weekly came in and boo weekly was a fat redneck everybody's like oh here we go that motherfucker was on top for about a season and now i think he's on in the web dot com tour Not that that's not a good living to mate, but like, again, dude, you really got to be in shape to play now. Correct me if I'm wrong.

The whole premise of the movie basketball, the whole premise of the sport catching on inside the movie was you can be a regular guy or gal and play this sport. Yeah, because they don't ever move. Yeah. That same kind of thing has also happened in NASCAR, really. Like, they used to have a lot of old boys, a lot of, you know, fat dumb and don't hit motherfuckers. drive just drive real fast but like now they're all you know they're all in shape and fucking yeah man it's just like baseball baseball pitcher is the last is the is the last uh place for a true fat dumb and don't hit yeah yeah athlete just got throw hard just got throw hard yeah my favorite

kentie powers line is the principal's talking about you know i'm a bit of an athlete myself i run marathons what what what i'm talking about being an athlete not the best working out. Yeah, right. Yeah, he's, uh, what, Corey, you just watched that recently. What's he saying?

Yeah. What is he? What is he goes, the arm, the brain, the, what is it? Oh, God.

I got a, I got a, I don't remember he said about his brain. He goes, he got an arm like a fucking cannon. And this dick. No, he says,

Dick. He says, the line out. That's a separate one, which also hits. What I'm talking about, he says, I got an arm like a fucking canon,

the mind of a scientist and a dick like a Burmese python. Yeah. My favorite line was when he goes, I was great at being married. Ask my second wife. Yeah, she was a stripper. And if Montel Jordan wants to talk shit, he could suck my fucking dick. Montel Williams.

Montel Williams. Montel Jordan. This is how we do it in my ass. Motherfucker. That's hilarious. So yeah, we do it down there. My brain just went to the hitter Montel. Yeah.

all the show slabs. I want to ask you this, Trey, because you've been getting into a, I'm about to start making my own pasta. I got the pasta attachment the other day. Thompson's going to love this segment. Fuck you, Thompson. This ain't going to have shit to do with pasta.

So really, I just want to know what the last thing you got really, really super fat on was because we, people don't, we hadn't really been talking about it on the podcast, but off the podcast, you know, we've been making our little like,

oh yeah, this pandemic, you know, we've really gone. I've legit gained like 18, 19 pounds, but we hadn't really been telling everybody how fat we've been getting. So I want to know what the last fat.

What, Drew? I think what you're saying, Corey, is we should do this week. This week in running. Yes, we should. This week in burning. Running. It was stupid America's sorry birthday this week.

Oh, yeah. July 4th, I made cheeseburgers, of course, but I also made baked beans, pasta salad, corn on the cob and had chips of dip, right, and cut up watermelon, all that, all that for my family of four. Nothing is very, no single item on it is that egregious. It's just like the amount I made of all of it for just us. Katie was like, Katie one point goes, why did you make 10 servings of pasta salad? And I was like, because it's for me, you know.

It does hit. It does hit. But like a fraction of it got eaten. The biggest fraction of that fraction was eaten by your boy. Everybody else had a single cheeseburger. I had a double cheeseburger with all the fixings. It was beans. It was pasta salad.

It was multiple areas of corn. It was all the Doritos. All the Doritos. And I'm fin of going there and make some donuts when we get done. We're here. It's time. Yeah. but I made a, I also made a, side note, I've been mourning the Great British Bacon Show so much.

I'm mourning it in that I have finished it all. I finished it in its entirety, 10 years worth or whatever, and I'm having such withdrawal. I heard an audio show's good. I need to check that out. I got recommended to me Zumbos Just desserts, which is an Australian bacon show, and it ain't it. Whoever out there thinks that that's it, it ain't it. They do a bunch of goddamn Willie Wonka bullshit on there. they got no idea about class, taste, tradition, nuanced, subtlety.

I need you to tell me, in the world of candy land bullshit, what is some Willie Wonka bullshit? In the world of literally making puff pastries, what is Willie Walker bullshit? It's too much. It's a whole school. But Willie Walker made gourmet candy. He made blueberries that would turn people into blueberries. Mm-mm-mm. No, this stuff is just silly.

share it with us. I'm trying to find, I don't know if I'll be able to find any of, like, pictures because they might, oh yeah, here we go. All right. You don't know how to get right to the Willie Wonka shit,

Corey. No, I do. I found it. Motherfucker. By the way, I ate six, I ate six plates of a low country bull yesterday and just burp

while I was trying to say it. I ate two stakes. I went over to Carmen's and we did what you did, Trey. We didn't make, we made too much of everything and I went in. Yeah, I'm about to have.

I don't know how to do this other than just, so. Oh, let me share my screen, Corey. Okay, hold on. Here it come. Just while we're waiting, I told Maria Baford. Well, while we're waiting, if you don't want to edit, I told Maria Bampford about, Corey telling everybody he was Wade Bogg's and that's getting hammered because we have the same

publisher and it hit very hard for our core. That's awesome. Okay, so I recognize the one thing that you said, but the Wade Boggs thing, I was like, I think this has something to do with me, but I didn't quite remember it. When we got sent to the hotel by the publisher at the night before the view, and we were mad at our publisher at the time, and we found out that they had paid for everything, including our room service and bar bill,

we decided to go to the bar and buy all our friends over and have a party. You said, and I quote, put all that shit on my room. I want them to get mad at me. I'm about to weigh bugs, this motherfucker. Fast forward three weeks when they did get mad at you, and it was all on your bill, and you coming to me and Trey going,

Hey, now, I mean, we're splitting this, though, right? That's going to be that all three of us did it. Yeah, yeah, that sounds like me. I don't remember saying the Wade Boggs name, but that does hit, Tray. I told you, I said you could share stuff. See that thing on the right? Oh, yeah. Look at that.

Mary Barry would never. Oh, dude. I hate that so much. What is that shit? I'm obviously part of the grand finale of this show, and it's just, that ain't it. That ain't it. I'm obviously goddamn

centerpiece wedding cake that's what I'm gonna see not this bullshit is this is it I don't know

how the show works but like isn't that just the person with no talent like no that's the main guy

that's his like that's his like oh yeah Australia a little silly shit man I know that's what I've

that's Zumbo that's it at the end of every episode he presents a dessert that he has

come up with himself and they have to copy it right that's like the finale and that's the

prototype? Yes. Yes. What a piece of shit, dude. That's what I'm saying. That's so fucking Australian, dude. Yeah. It's just big and yeah. Goofy. We've went on such a tangent, but anyway, I, uh, the British Bake Off, though, has sent me down such a path of fatness that I never thought I'd be on because I never was a baker. I never made desserts. And honestly, and I know this ain't going to have for y'all, but it's true. at the time the shit I make I don't even eat it I just fatten my family I get it because I've been wondering because I was like you don't like cake and shit like that

like that no I don't but I do I like making it and so I made a Swiss roll I don't think it's called a Swiss roll because it wasn't chocolate but you know Cho like it's like a roll no I think they're still called I think they're still called Swiss roll I made a strawberry cream Swiss roll Matter of fact I know they are because I remember

watching that episode of Great British Baker off and going oh, it could be different than chocolate because somebody had, somebody made like a pistachio one. And I was like, bro, that looks fucking amazing. No, it's still a Swiss roll. Well, I made a strawberry and cream Swiss roll the other night. And I'm about to go on here and make some donuts. And I'm going to try to stuff these donuts with some homemade cream in a.

How was the Swiss roll? Were you able to get it without it breaking? It did not break at all, but the cream was a little too thin. And it smushed out the side of a lot of it. So it had one big thing of cream in the very, center, which still hit, but it, uh, it wasn't, it didn't break. The cream just wasn't thick enough. Corey, no, head. Can you manned that homemade though, a Swiss roll. Did it look like a Swiss roll? It had to swirl, yeah. This, you see that? That's a homemade twinkie. Can y'all

see it? Yeah, yeah. That taco taco made pride. They did it for pride, but look how they advertised it. Look at this. I saw that my friend sent it to me and he sent me the whole thing and I was like, oh, that looks good. Why, what is it? What are you upset about? What is that? I've seen that before. I have to.

It's supposed to be if they were real, don't head. Why would you put that on a twin? I get this supposed to be SpongeBobby in nature apparently, but why use that picture? I don't know. It's just the Australia nightmare dessert made me think of that. Yeah. I don't get it.

Don't hit. Well, Cho. Oh, by the. the way on the pasta making front, I don't think I'll ever go back. It's not that hard. You basically just mix some eggs into some flour and set it aside while you prep the rest of your shit, while you chop everything else up. Yeah. And after you've done that, you just run it through the pasta machine a few times. And it's so fucking much better. It's unreal. Except I did make homemade raviolis that way. And I, that was too much. That was a pain. Yeah, I'm not a that guy anyways, really. Like, Ravioli

I don't like them enough to go through all that trouble. I'm just more of it like, you know, Carbonara and fucking Feduccini and that shit. And I'm very interested in doing that. I'm probably going to do some of that this week, even though I've been trying to do, I stay trying to do better since yesterday. I've been trying to do better since yesterday. I've been trying to go, I want to go broth this week, but then maybe next week I'll do pasta. Well, what have you been fat known?

You wanted to ask the question. I mean, I know the answer, but I tell everybody. Well, yesterday, or excuse me, on America's whatever, how manyth birthday, how old are we now? I don't know. America? Yeah. 1776. 2.34.

That sounds right. Well, we're acting like my wife did on her fucking 30th. But either way, I ate on the fourth, it was a low country bull. and I've since had way too much was made. I've since ate six other plates that shit. Dad did fish tacos that I was able

to go pick up. Salmon fish tacos was fucking unbelievable. Other than that, I just remembered that I really enjoyed. You remember French toast crunch? Did I ever hit for you? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Sorry.

I ate. I didn't know they still made it. so me either and not cinnamon not cinnamon toast crunch french toast crunch where the pieces are the little they look like little bread yeah yeah yeah so yeah no idea i saw that me either me either it may be one of them like throwback situations or my grocery store old i don't know i could have ate old old ones but i went and i saw that and so i got them and i was like oh my god this is great and i really i really hope that like they're just making boxes of cereal smaller now is I ate the whole box in one day along with,

um, I've been, I've been doing this thing where you can get these. They're called, they're called sub kits. And so it's like, yeah, you get this long thing and it's got all the meat in between the pieces of paper

or whatever. Well, I've been getting a sub kit and it's enough for like, it's a sub to make for like you and, and you homie. But I've been putting all that meat on to just regular sandwich bread and just That's my sandwich. And I've been at least eating at least two of them a day.

I started feeling depressed the other day. What? I know. I don't know. Who would know what? I started feeling depressed the other day. And whenever I'm depressed and whenever I'm actually sick, depression is sickness.

I don't mean that. I'm saying when I'm physically sick, I have to have Campbell's cream of chicken soup. And I got depressed the other day. And I was like, well, my brain don't hit. So same, same. And so I went and got four cans of Campbell's cream of chicken soup, domed them in two days. And then I found out that I just like that.

I was like, oh, shit, I always thought it was like a just when I'm sick thing. This will soothe me. But no, I just like it. So I've been just eating condensed soups every day at lunch. But I've been, you know, making them in the pot and off the microwave. And I've been putting some like lemon zest. Listen, man, I've been getting, I've been getting cream of chick, Campbell's cream of chicken soup.

I've been putting fucking lemon zest in that shit. I've been hitting it with the accent. I've been fucking like, I've been really doctoring it up to where like you can't tell. Yeah. Does that help with the fact that you can't process milk? No, it's hurting,

especially because I put, I hit it with a little dollop of cream at the end too. Yeah. Yeah. Buddy. Oh, dude, my asshole has been through it. Well,

it's your fucking house, you know? You're paying the bills around there. Farting your own house, man. It ain't no big deal. Our air condition. also exploded. Oh, so it's hot and your fart and cream in that house?

Yeah, no. Amber ain't been here, though. That's no wonder. You're just fart and cream and nothing's an air conditioner. No, we, no, we're having a dude come tomorrow to put it. It's been out for like three days and it's really not hit. Have y'all ever had that like chick, that like white trash chicken spaghetti that's like two different kinds of cream of whatever, cream of chicken, cream of mushroom?

and cream of mushroom. Belveda. You have my attention. And Rotel. And Rotel. Belvita Rotel. Two different kinds of, just all the entire processed food aisle, shoved in a pot, just slopped up with.

Over noodles. Over noodles with chicken. And then baked with cheese on top of it. Hell yeah. It's so good. They call it, it's called million dollar spaghetti, and it's the opposite of that. That's what they call it down here is million dollars. spaghetti. It's one of the only, my

mother-in-law, that's one of the few things she makes that heads for me. Is the chicken paned and like processed? No, when she makes it at least the chicken itself is like chicken breast strips. That would hit see, I think that would hit almost harder to tossing

chicken nuggets in there. Hell yeah, would. Dude, no, doctoring up doctoring up like trash food, you know. I love to doctor up a frozen pizza. Me too, man. That whole thing was like my first sort of, as dumb as it may be sounds, it was kind of my first sort of foray into like learning how to cook at all was like daughtering up. It might sound dumb if you were like 30, but didn't this happen when you were 12 and your mom

hadn't been home for four days? I think it's okay, Trey. Give yourself a break on this one. Ah, dude, she'd been gone from way longer and four days. Way longer than four days. I've been eating my dad's like, you know, buttered chick to shit. shove a whole stick of butter up of chicken's ass and put in oven for once. It did hit. It did hit. Get that juice in there. My dad's like, son, you're telling me you're too good for ass butter chicken.

Ass butter chicken. He could, he made, he could make stuff that his just like it was like four things. And I probably got to a point where I was like, I got to switch it up some. And that's when I started like looking into learning how to cook. But I'm saying like, even when I was in college and stuff, I would never just, any of that trash food, I never just made it out of box ever. Like, I always would do some kind of doctoring it up situation. And, yeah, frozen pizza doctored up is the shit.

I'd yet to discover a way to do avocado. Yeah, that's the first thing. Or guacamole in a trash way. And I stay putting homemade guacamole on Taco Bell. Yeah. Because I hate her guacamole. It's like, you can't trash up avocado for some reason. No, you shouldn't.

supposed to be fresh. Right. I was actually, okay, first of all, it's kind of weird because I was just talking to Kay about this the other day. There's like an old riddle,

I guess you called a real, I don't know that I heard before. It's like what it, what's the only vegetable that is only ever served fresh and it's never served any other way other than just straight up fresh? And the answer to the riddle is lettuce, right?

But I was thinking the other day, is it, I don't cook that shit. Hold on, Mamma used to put on leaf lettuce. You just used to put lettuce and onions, put hot bacon grease on. Sure, I wasn't cabbage. It was definitely. Also, it was leaf lettuce, though.

Yeah, but if you just put more of a green, if you just pour bacon grease over a big head of lettuce, that does hit, but it's not like, yeah, it's sort of just salad dressing, but made out of meat. It's hot, it makes it slimy. All right, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, don't be sorry. Isn't that also true of avocado, but is avocado a fruit, though? I don't know if it's a fruit or not.

I think it is, but I think people do grill it. See, that can't get it, though, right? I can't hit because of how it is, it fall apart. Yeah, right, it would just mush. It's meant to mush. And that mush is fine. It is meant to mush. It would be hot.

It would hot mush. Hot mush. Yeah, I think that's the goal. It's a hot mush. No. Yeah, but with avocat. I love avocado. I'm not saying that that's a good goal.

I'm saying I think that's why they do it. Here, let me. Avocado is meant to be cold, and the runny white is meant to be hot, and then you mix them on the same ship. Grilled avocado. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I'm not. It is kind of, okay, like, in a sub.

Try hearty. Dude, that's fucking stupid as why. And just eat it out of there, like some sort of fucking California piece of shit, pudding cup. Yeah. Hold your little grilled avocado. who eat avocados. California pudding cup.

Don't hit. I mean, it. No, I don't know. I agree. I'm glad you. I mean, here's the deal. I bet it hits. I just don't see it.

I bet if you grilled the avocados. Huh? On this page, I stopped sharing. You know how like every recipe has to give you a fucking story and they can't just take it. I know. I hate that.

I know why they do it, but I hate that. All right. We'll talk about that in a second. second. Corey is completely right about this being in a California fucking... I'm got to listen to this. This is their intro to that. It's like, yes, you can grill some avocados. It makes the magical fruit even more magical. Grilling an avocado infuses a smoky flavor into every bite and turns the bottom a bright green color, exclamation point. It changes its color is a reason to fuck it of the skin. The skin of it changes color.

So you should cook. That's the, that's the weakest heart cell I've ever read. Dude, you're talking about every recipe has to have a story. The other day, I found myself looking at a bag of chips the way my dad looks at Saturday Night Live nowadays. Like, I was just sitting there eating a bag of chips. And I was like, can I not just fucking enjoy this bag of chips without hearing all this bullshit? Because, like, I got to know, like, Ray, here's Ray's story. Make a good fucking chip, Ray. I don't give a shit the first time you ever thought to make of this chip.

I don't give a shit that your wife helped you. you peel your first potatoes, like, I don't give a fuck. Like that shit. She's dead. I don't give a shit, Ray. It's the last thing you guys ever did together. I don't give a flying fuck, Ray. If your chips hit, it don't matter.

Just let the chips do the talking. At the very least, change it up. Don't make this fucking sap-ass story that's going to make me cry or like you want to watch a fucking documentary. In Ray's defense, every flavor of chip at least has a different story on the side of it. And Ray's chips do hit. They're my favorite. chips.

But fuck him in his goddamn stupid stories. Online recipes, yeah, I get why they do it. It has something to do with like Abert. They can't make any money off of a page like that if they don't do that. It's just not practical. So there's no reason for anybody to just put recipes out there. And I understand that. But it still drives me crazy.

And any time you want to look up some like, whatever, scallop potatoes or some shit, you got to slog through some, some warmer and remnant. this and about her hubby's mamaw, you know, who used to scallop potatoes in the old country according to whatever has passed down. Am I right? Million dollar I did. Justrecipes.com.

But the way you make your money is you have to watch a five second ad to get to the recipe. But that's it. It's five seconds long. And then after that. Bumfights. It goes to a page. Yes. And we're selling bumfights. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

Man, bumfights. Wasn't that something. I'll see on those of the internet. Early aughts, yeah. A very broie time, the early aughts. A lot of, Spike TV. Yeah, Spike TV, extreme shit, affliction shirts, chin strap birds, which is it.

If did. Mountain, dude, had a whole run there. Let me tell you something right now. You know, we always talk about, like, if you could tell, you know, 13-year-old me, this, and we're usually talking about some sort of, like, crazy technology, if you could go back and tell 12 to 13 year old me that one day my opinion on bum fights would change my head would fucking explode something like I would not be like fucking first off no secondly why it needed job yeah yeah dude shit man he's working for it god damn was it was it

was it bum fights specifically or like a bum fight spinoff that kimbo slice came out of because I know it was something like that. It was, I think it was a spinoff because I know that, I know that. He did yard fights or something like that, but he was already starting to get famous because he was a porn bouncer. Is that not? Yeah, that was his thing. Yeah, he was bouncing for like these porn dudes.

And like he would, you know, like he, during his downtime because he needed to relax, he'd do a bunch of PCP and we'll shit out of my pocket. So that's just, that's just, that's just a hobby. You know what I put lemon zest in my, and a Campbell suit. that's what he did. So he would do that. And I think they called him yard fights, Trey. Yeah.

Yeah. But it was definitely of the bum fight era. It was of that genre. Yeah. But like, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You think your buddy whoops shit out of fuck. Yeah. Oh, man. Whoops shit out of fucking. But then they had that one when Kimbo finally lost. He went up against that big fat, dumb, don't hit cop. Turned out he was fat dumb and did hit. But like, yeah, he would just go.

And they would just put the, they would just put the, the money up and like sometimes Kimbo would just admit to have just smoke PCP for the fights. But he'd knock that one motherfucker's eyeball smoothed. And that was my, I'll still watch the old Kimbo fights because

that was different. They were, they were doing it for money and they were both otherwise employed. They weren't just going up to random homeless people and putting a honey-baked ham in the middle of them. And it's been like, someone get it. That's way different. That's a way different.

I think what you should have told you to have a 12-year-old-old you is you need to get involved in promoting these bum fights because you have a gift. Exactly. Exactly. Here's the deal. Don't call them bums because they're working. Like this is a job. They're no longer bums right now. But like, yeah, for sure.

But like, no, that don't hit me. That's rude. Do you all remember when, because also we're talking about the early odds and it being a very douchebrough era in American culture, which it was, it was also the meteoric rise of the UFC. and popularity. And I was super into that. I'm not going to lie. But it actually wasn't UFC. it was that other one,

which I can't remember now. I don't think it was stri- Bellator. Maybe, okay. I think it was before, I feel like it was before Bellator, like Pride, Pride fighting or something like that.

It was pride fighting as well. It was pride fighting. They got, but MMA had just become huge. Kimbo-Slics had just become huge. They got Kimbo-Slices like first big fight. And it was a lot of,

on TV and everything. And me and all my buddies were so super pumped about it. Everybody was. It was supposed to be against Frank Shamrock. It wasn't Ken Shamrock. Ken Shamrock has a brother named Frank, right? And they both thought, I think it wasn't, I think it wasn't Ken. I think it was Frank Shamrock. I'll go to Google it real quick. Anyway, Frank Shamrock had, if that's who it was, which I think it was. Yeah, Frank Shamrock is a real person. I'm pretty sure it was Frank Shamrock was supposed to Kimbo Slice in his first, like, sanctioned fight on and televised fight. Frank Shamrock had an 11th hour, uh, injury. So they always have alternate for both fighters, right?

But everybody's super, super disappointed in this, uh, this transpiring. Um, the alternate comes in and, uh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to find the guy's name because I so badly want to show you a picture of this guy, but I don't think I'm going to be able to find his name. But the alternate, the replacement of Frank Shamrock comes in and he's a dude with pink hair um and i've never seen like even in the old like before mike tyson's fights i've never seen a person look more fucking terrified in their life than this alternate with pink hair looked as kimbo slice is coming into the cage right

like he's like visibly shaking he's fucking so scared and it's like this don't no he's a fighter or no he's a fighter that's what i'm saying he is a fighter it's all hell this is this big shot it's just kimbo kimbo slice has a has a has a myth around him of knock him up and also like you've got to be nervous as shit he never expected to actually be in there or anything um yeah and but anyway and the fight starts i found i actually found the guy here this is the dude that guy right there Seth Pettcher. He looks like he's been knocked fucking stupid

right there. So the fight actually everybody's like, ah well, it really don't hit that Shamrock is hurt, but whatever. Still hits, it's still hype. Everybody's still real hype. The bell rings. Kimbo Slice bull rushes him immediately. Like, charges straight at him. And that pink hair motherfucker

through a terrified jab. Like, just like as Kimball's running at him, hits him, catches him right on the button and knocks him out with one jab, two seconds into the start of the fight. It was the most anti-clamatic, disappointing bullshit thing I think I ever watched where MMA is concerned, and I still, you know, still remember that. You remember he was real pumped? If I were his manager, I would say he did it on purpose, like he was trying to rope a dope him.

Yeah, he pretended to be scared. Did you remember when he actually fought Ken Shamrock? No, I remember another fight he had against a big, big, dumb balls. Sorry, a big dumb balls. And Kimball, like, exploded his ear, kind of. I remember that. I don't think it would have been bad at all if you would have said, sorry. It never would.

That's usually always the case. That's usually always. He was talking. Mexican is not racist until you would. He was fucking fat and stupid. No offense, Corey. Well, I didn't think. Yeah, I wasn't really thinking.

And when he fought Kim Shamrock, Ken Shamrock, who is a, you know, he's a ground grappler type dude. He got him on the ground and he literally had Kimbo. I'm not kidding, dude. I've watched this clip from this fight a million times. You see Kimbo sliced. He's sitting there.

He's got him in a chokehold. Kimbo literally his head goes down. His eyes are on the back of his head. His arm falls down. And then somehow, I don't know, like an old PCP flashback. He just came back to life and then beat the fuck out again, Jamrock. Like, I've never seen anything like it.

Dana White always used to say, like, you know, in the, in the octagon, Kimbo is more of a street fighter, so he didn't really have it down. He said, however, if we were ever to have a UFC barbecue and shit went down, no one at even close could take Kimbo's slice. Like, if it was, like, if he could use a chair or, you know, any of that, whatever. PCP, right, because see, that's the bullshit about it, man, is that what they won't tell you about the UFC is they will not let you smoke PCP before you go out there

and beat the shit out of people. It's kind of fucked up, man. I think so, too. Back when I was a lawyer, I wanted to help some of those guys out. We were going to sue. Trey, you didn't respond to it earlier, so I don't think you know anything about it. But there's also clips of Kimbo.

There was like a show, for lack of a better word, that the porn company produced and it's called Money Talks and you guys can figure out pretty easily what the idea. Eventually they pay a girl to do you know, sex stuff but she's not really a porn star but you know she definitely really is but leading up to the sex scene

they would do like weird stunts and shit like well you let this baby alligator bite you on the balls for $20 no what about $100 well one of them was Kimbo Slice 20 yard sprint teeing off on you in full football gear and you

you're not wearing them. And these fucking white boys down the beach of Miami let him do that shit. He fucked them up for like 80 bucks. And they weren't allowed to run or dog. They just stood there and he fucking waterboiled. And I got to say, I didn't make it to the porn that day because I came when he did it. But of course. Oh, that was a bygone era, man.

Like 90s out of 2000s. I mourned that era. You sure was, man. Even your Christian rock bands had sex tapes. Shout out creed. It's when I came of age during that just dirt bag, white trash part. Me too. We should have known that that bubble was just going to bug.

Dude, I'm going to make a lot of people upset probably and maybe one of y'all. And I think coming from that area is why I feel this way. But that lint biscuit cover of behind blue eyes is fucking better than behind blue eyes. It fucking is. I think it goes hard. I don't think my dad has ever been more visibly disgusted by anything than he was by that goddamn L. And like, I don't, when it came out, he said, I was watching MTV, TRL or something, and they, like,

debuted that behind Blige by Lent Biscuit. And I mean, he was just like, are you shitting me? God damn. It's so rare. No fucking shame, son. What's that, what's his guitarist name? Monkey Man 5,000 or whatever the fuck is guitar? Our man, 5,000.

What about him? Dude, first off, I agree with you, Drew. Well, not, maybe not that's better, but it did go hard. And I come from that era. But yeah, man, my dad, uh, not to the redneck, uh, supermanic extent that your dad probably was, Trey, but I remember it, like, it was a conversation, like, that me and dad have just like, I just don't, he just couldn't get it. He's like, son, my thing is.

it's like with a cover, you're supposed to at least attempt to improve on something wherever it's that this is just fucking garbage. What the fuck is this shit? Turn your goddamn hard around. You know, it's whatever it was. The Yankees are fucking boo! I think my dad was so conflicted with

Kid Rock's Sweet Home Alabama remix bullshit because I think there was a part of him was like, you know, they forgot about Skinner's son, at least kids trying to bring them back. But also he hated it. So my dad, my dad also very much, because it was also, yeah, it wasn't just Sweet on Alabama, it was Sweet on Alabama and fucking Werewolves of London jacked up in the same shitty butt rock song.

And, you know, and, you know, my dad hated that too. I totally get that and your dad was right. But let me tell you something about Doug Morgan. He didn't give a fuck about anything to do with London. I guarantee you that right now. Yeah, I hear you. Werewolves, Levon, Zevon, they can all kiss off. Speaking of Roger Maris

at Warren Zivon, also not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Full circle. No sense. It's not even, it's not real until he is in my opinion. I won't say that about the baseball hall fame necessarily. Roger Morris,

but in my opinion, rock and roll hall of fame ain't real till fucking Warren Zvon's in it. And since everybody listens to our podcast, if you're out there and you're in charge of the Rock and Roll Hall Fame and you're listening to this, go fuck yourself. Well, I guess it's probably about that time.

I'm, uh, rest in peace, Charlie Daniels, you piece of shit. And, uh, rest in peace. Rest in peace, the, uh, the, the Sackler, the patriarch of the Sackler family is dead. And I hope you burn in hell, you motherfucker. Who, wait, um, who's the, uh, is that the Purdue Farmini? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, right.

Yeah. Not the jelly people. Yeah. Well, he, he died at 65. Why didn't they just give him a bunch of peels? I'd say they happen. right that's a hit and let it god damn yeah he's still even in death he got the hit i guarantee it we're yeah we're about to we are about to go for this segment but y'all don't go because we're

throwing it right into a truly delightful interview that i very much enjoyed or mr scott miller singer-songwriter and donkey basketball connoisseur scott miller you guys should listen to his music and follow him at the scottmiller.com, which we let him plug on there. When you look him up, look up Scott Miller in his songs. Look up Scott Miller in the Commonwealth for some of his old rock and roll songs. And you might even be able to find out some of the old V-Roy's songs, which we get into a little bit on there. I'm a huge fan of Scott Miller's. He's, he's super, super talented. He was super nice. And he wanted to talk about donkey basketball. And I'm so glad he did because, yeah, there was some, there was some revelations in there about the

inner workings of donkey basketball that I was unaware of. Yeah. But have truly brightened my day, week, year, you name. And I forgot to follow up because I was so excited. He talked about referencing one of those. I need to reach out to him and be like, which song? And then he references it in a song. Oh, man.

Yeah, I forgot about that too. I'm just going to be hilarious. Like, what do you mean which one? It's called donkey basketball. I don't think so, buddy. But, I mean, I would hit from it. Well, well, we. love you guys.

Yeah. And listen to this awesome memory with Scott Miller. Scoo. Scoo. Scoo. Some people like to get their eyeballs licked. Anyway, sorry. Don't hood.

No, don't hit. And now a clip from my special Corey Ryan Forster live at the Bejew, available to purchase now through Venmo or PayPal. Skew. One of my favorite parts about the Civil War reenactment is just how committed to the bit these reenactors are. They are so committed to that, like, that is Colonel Johnson. all goddamn weekend. You know what I'm saying? That ain't P. Paul no more. That's Colonel Johnson. Like, if you're out there and you're like me and you were bummed out when Daniel Day Lewis decided to call it quits after Phantom Thread because you're truly going to miss the

commitment to the Thespian craft that he brought day in and day out, well, no further, than Chickamauga, Georgia on war between the States days where these reenactors are truly putting the meth in method acting. It is unlike anything you ever seen. They do. They committed a bit so hard. You can't even pump gas in my hometown of Chickamauga, Georgia, on war between the States days, but having some dude in a full bird Confederate uniform holding a musket walking past you while you're pumping gas just going, huh? What prey tell is that strange liquid you're putting in that holless carriage? I have never seen such a thing in all my days. I'm like, Bill, this is your fucking gas station, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, you took the day off to be racist.

Man, the credit card machine, I've got shit to do. I'd love to go down the street and get a barbecue sandwich. We only live on one road and both sides are blocked off with a goddamn cannon. I hate this war. It's dumb. I'm good. Donkey basketball headquarters here. Well, that's definitely what I want to get into.

I mean, you're just up ahead of me, so let's get into it. First of all, have you, all right, let me just back up. You replied, everyone, this is Scott Miller. I'm a huge fan of Scott Miller. Thank you so much for being on the show, man. Yeah, man, my pleasure. You replied to a tweet, somebody replied to me. I don't know if you know, but on this podcast,

I brought up donkey basketball. And part of the reason I did is I want to do a joke about going when I was younger, but I, in no way in my mind was that still a thing. It couldn't even be legal anymore. The person who started it had to have been sued into oblivion long ago. And then you and a few other people were like, nah, I'm pretty sure they're still playing it in. And when you fill in the blank, it was always a rural part of the South. Have you been?

Yeah, I've been within the last, well, not since COVID, but I've been within the last year we've had it. My man's a regular. I told you. It was a lot like we still had the midget wrestling. at our county fair and I went to that too, although I felt a little dirty. Yeah. Was it still called that? No, this was separate.

The donkey basketball was at the local high school, which is. No, but I want to know, was it still called midget wrestling? Because there would be something almost like absurd if they changed the name. Yeah, right. The county fair, if the county fair had a meeting and we're like, listen, y'all, it's 20-20. We can't call it midget wrestling. We're still going to wrestle midgets. obviously.

Yes, Dan, what's the question? Can we throw them still? Yeah, but you've got to get permission. God damn it. I just got an image of a bunch of donkeys with face masks on and it tickled the fuck out of me. All right, yeah, so it is separate from the fair. It's a fundraiser usually, right? Yeah, it's usually the faculty of the high school versus seniors.

Well, that's my favorite thing about it is that donkey basketball. ball as a business model is a man provides the donkeys. You provide the athletes who will participate in this game. And the monkey now. Now listen, I don't know if you all had this. Hold on up. Is that the referee? Please tell me the referee's a monkey.

This is true. This is true. And I referenced it in one of my songs. There was one dog, you know, they always have different donkeys and have different personalities. You know, like one donkey just wouldn't move. no matter how somebody tried to get the move. And there was always a donkey that was fairly adequate. Anyway, they had this monkey on one donkey,

and all this donkey did was run around, and the monkey had a little whip, and he would smack all the other asses on the ass. And he was like, you know, he was, yeah, he was the catalyst. Well, I remember when we did it. They had a llama. A llama. I guess, I feel like, I feel like,

That's ridiculous. We'll serve the cat in here. I feel like a donkey died, and he just needed a replacement that season. Did daddy cry, inky binky bunky? But the lumbal was lazy, and this particular llama just sat down on the court, and his rider just straddled over him and shot from wherever it sat down. That team won by a lot. It felt like cheating to me.

I think they have done. donkeys that do that too. Okay. So, yeah, yeah. But they wore football helmets. You know, there was safety involved. The donkeys were football helmet. The participants.

Was there a wild donkey? Our version always had one donkey that, like, you know, the asshole, you know, like jock would ride because he'd be like, I can handle it. And he'd break his fucking arm every time. Is your arms still hurt a little bit from time to time when it rains? Okay, I feel I'm almost ashamed by the, because Drew brought this up last time and I didn't really know what he was talking about.

I don't know how we avoided this in my hometown specifically because of everything else about my hometown. I mean, I feel the same way. Well, but I didn't, I was like, no, I don't know what you're talking about. But multiple people had texted me since last week, of course. Old heads being like, Oh, they used to do donkey basketball at the gym and Salina, you know, or whatever. But my best friend texted all of us a few days ago and said that in the, so my hometown

Scott has is like redneck is hail. I graduated high school with 50 something people, right? But it's the biggest city, it's the city. It's the biggest town in Clay County, right? So in the smaller, even more redneck town neighboring Salina, the town that we are, all look down on from Salina called Hermitage Springs. My best friend Thompson informed me that they have been doing donkey basketball in Hermitage Springs as an annual tradition every year for like 30-something years and still do it.

And every year the Springer's what we call them try to recruit my buddy Thompson to be on the donkey basketball team. And thus far he hasn't given in, but he says he's at a point in his life where he thinks it might be time to give donkey basketball a shot. But, yeah, apparently this is way more of a thing than I realized. Tony's friends hadn't reached word there that they need to stop it. So what do you? We're the biggest county in Virginia, Augusta County.

We have the largest cow to people ratio of any county east of the Mississippi. Buffalo Gap High School is where they have it. They have it there every year. Same guy brings in the donkeys. They put rubber shoes on them so they don't hurt the gym floor. and okay speaking of the gym floor

I got a question that's going to sound like I'm going for the low hanging fruit or just being immature but I really need to know how soon into the game of donkey basketball

is it just knee deep and shit right well that's part of it there's always there's always like you know here's your comedy relief there's always one person

that's on like a little tiny toy tractor with a little wagon and they're dressed up in overalls and they ride around and clean up the donkey poop and that's that's the game is that an elected official in your home for that position you said you go every year like you participate or you just go and what no i'm not been i don't rate uh high up on the social scale to be invited to participate all right how is that determined how do you said it's the faculty of the high

school versus the senior class of the high school. Okay. All right. Yeah. And that's how we did it too. But it disappeared. And I just always assumed it disappeared off the face of the earth because there ain't no way Sunbright, Tennessee got rid of it before the world did.

Right. But apparently I'm wrong. I think our guy died and your guy just won't come to Sunbright is what I think. So has it been going on since you were younger? Yeah, man. I mean, I'm 52. and I remember going as a kid. And so, and I went the year before last.

So we still have it. You know, if they have it again, you guys can all come up. We'll go. I'm going to do that. I want to do that more than anything. I mean, look, man, I was already, like, fairly intrigued by just, you know, you say donkey basketball. Like, I'm already, like, my brain starts going, okay, so either people are riding the donkeys or it's like an air bud donkey situation.

Either way. And either way, I'm cool with that. But I thought that was it. And then you say, yeah, but also there's, we've got a monkey jockey that whips these donkeys.

And then there's also our mayor rides a tractor and cleans up their shit. So, I mean, yeah, dude, fucking donkey basketball, man. Yeah,

it's a fleshed out, you know, form of entertainment, clearly. It's not, not some half-ass thing. Cho. But I'm with you. I just went on that exact same journey myself, listen and talk about this. It was great. Yeah. Well, does anybody check with Alabama? They may still have it down there.

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm certain that they do. I'm just, you know, these two boys just learned about it last week, so they're blown away at its existence. I feel that I'm equally blown away at its continued existence. You got to imagine injuries, one injury and lawsuit could ruin a donkey basketball operation. Well, you know, you're going to be signing away your life before they let you on a donkey. I worry more about the, you know, the animal rights activists that, and there are those that I think try to stop it. We're here for the don't know. Yeah, they're here for the don't know. Yeah, some people say, I don't know.

Those animals like to work. They like to work, so. Yeah, they love the game, man. I don't personally know anyone who would both participate in. in donkey basketball and then sue donkey basketball. I know. They got hurt. They'd be like, shit happens.

I don't know what you take. I deserve that. Yeah. That's a risk you take if you're going to play donkey basketball. I agree with that. You want me to willingly go to court? Fuck that. I agree with that.

I got to add, though, Scott, too, in terms of, you know, you're talking about them signing a waiver. I can't imagine the donkey basketball lawyer is got an airtight waiver on hand. I don't know. He went to his buddy who wrote. that waiver. They got that off legal Zoom at best. Yeah, but it's enough to fool an old boy.

You know, again, one who's like a power, power donkey forward. We also, I learned about last week this spurred us to learn about and Scott, you're a farmer. You're a singer-songwriter musician, former rock band frontman.

And I'd like to talk about a little bit about that, but you're also a farmer. Do you know about, Trey, I'm going to say it wrong, the horse gymnastics. What's it actually called? Vaulting. Volting. Yeah, vaulting. Are you familiar with that, Scott?

No, is that like dressage or something? Yes, yeah, sort of. It's just, yeah, it's a very, we just also recently discovered that. It was actually all part of the same conversation, wasn't it, with that and donkey basketball, the two polar opposite ends of the, like, Like equine sporting spectrum. But the balting is, it's literally, it's literally gymnastics on the back of a horse. Yeah.

While it runs in circles. But it's like upper class white people shit, you know, like equestrian and stuff. My wife does dressage. So like with our farm, I raise cattle. And I tell everybody, you know, my wife doesn't keep her horse on our farm because they're horses. They need hot water and special attention and stuff. And I figure every day I keep a horse off my farm, I count that as making three or $400.

Yeah. Are there other farming animal sports we're unaware of to your knowledge? We know about chicken chip bingo. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Everybody knows that one. We actually did a paddywalk is what we called it.

You know what that is? With cows. It's like sort of like chicken chip bingo, but with a cow and it's sort of a daze. different kind of layout. We did that in my hometown on the square every year. Those are the church. Yeah. So we got those two, donkey basketball. Are there others that you know of? Not that I know of. I mean, I've never seen, we don't really have a lot of llamas or anything around here. I'd love to play like pig football. I don't know how that would work. You do have the pig races at the fair, right?

You all have, come on. We have the where you've got to tackle a grease pig. Yeah, I guess it's a sport. That one, I know that one. Yeah, yeah, it's like a greased up pig, you've got to catch it. No, they're like the horse races, but they're the pig races. They have that at the fair, and that was at the West Virginia State Fair that I saw that. Is it just pigs racing or? Yeah, we like kids on them. No, there's no kids on.

They're little pop-belly pigs, and they all have awesome names like Magnum P-I-G. Yeah, that's awesome. Do monkeys whip the pigs? I see no monkeys involved in the pig racing. Pigs are too smart for that. I hope that monkey is making the same amount as them donkeys. I feel, but I feel like the monkeys just antagonizing the donkeys,

he gets more food. I think monkeys are like so close to us genetically, their union. Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, he's management. That's what I'm getting.

Yeah, the monkey, yeah, he gets paid scale, son, he knows what so. He's probably in it for the love of the game, dude.

I guarantee you he loves whipping them donkey's asses. Yeah, he does. He loves that shit. They teach it to sign and Peter's there and the monkey's like, fuck you, Peter. This is my passion. Well, Scott.

I've got video of it from last year somewhere. Man, if you found that, I'd love to see it. We on our podcast and in our comedy spent a lot of time and effort trying to make people understand that the South is not as backwards as you think. So I'm glad. Oh, yeah. But in all seriousness, I'm a big fan. I want to go back a little bit.

If people who don't know, you should listen to any Scott Miller or Scott Miller in the Commonwealth albums you can find right now. Your latest, which I thought was from 2018, but the Internet's telling me 2017, is that right on Ladies' Auxiliary? Yeah, it's probably technically 2017, yeah. I think it was the best folk album that year and in the last few years. I really do. I don't know if maybe I shouldn't throw a genre,

at you. I know with Americana and country and all that mixing together, people maybe get a little hairy with that stuff, but man, 10 miles down the 9-mile road is so good. First of all, congratulations on that. But that's sort of a different record or I don't know.

I come to know you as a rock band and a rock band guy. What changed? Or was that just sort of a natural thing? That's always, man. I've always been a songwriter. Songs always come first with me, even in the V-Roy's days. And plus, bands are expensive.

Right. Between rock and roll and farm, and I don't make a lot of money. It's cheaper to tour by yourself. So, singer, songwriter, I am. And I've managed to balance that between the farm and not work for the man. That's awesome. Touring wise, you expect or hope to get back out anytime soon? Everything's been canceled.

Last show I had was February, Bijou. in Knoxville. In fact, I had a show. They were going to do a show at the Smokies Ballpark in Severeville this Saturday. Drive-in, where people were going to drive in. Yeah. And it just got canceled today. So I really don't see anything happening in 2020.

Yeah. That's the way I'm looking at it. And I don't know that I feel comfortable asking somebody to come to it. I don't think of asking somebody to come play with me because it's a serious business, man. I got old parents. I don't mess around with this stuff. Right. Yeah, we've been having that same conversation amongst ourselves a whole lot recently because, you know, comedians, we rely on live performance too. And it's a little different, but not really, not much in terms of this conversation. And that whole like feeling weird about even asking somebody to come to it, even if you yourself are like, oh, well, I'm okay with, I'm okay with the risk of doing it. Even if you feel that way yourself, there's still the element of like even suggesting that someone comes to, you know, to anything like that.

Because you are asking them to take a risk, you know, like inherently. And it's like for what? Sure, you're worth it. Obviously, you're worth it. You're worth it. Yeah. You're worth it. Not like, you know, somebody risking their health and life on it.

It's just a weird, weird time. Well, and that's the thing. I mean, this is, it should be common knowledge, but so many people aren't grasping what a virus is because they go, well, like, I don't. care if I get it. It's like, right, but then you get it and then you go and you touch a thing that someone that doesn't deserve to get it touches and then they get it because you're an asshole. Like if the world was perfect and only the people who were like, fuck at all risk, it got it.

I mean, yeah, dude, open it back up. Let's do it. But that's unfortunately just not how it goes. So, yeah, I can't, you know, it'd be hard for me to tell people like, hey, man, my comedy is so goddamn good that you should just not see your grandma for two weeks after you see my show. How about that? And plus, well, I get into it. Like, I'm a little frustrated where everybody's giving it away now too. And it's like it feels a little desperate to me where, you know, people are doing these shows online. It's like a cat trying to eat a fish in an aquarium or something, you know.

It's like I did my 10,000 hours. My time's worth money. So I'll be back out when I can get back out. But when it's safe, that wasn't fun. Yeah. No, no, no. No, I think, I think we were all convicted a little bit because we've all been doing online shows. But we have been charging for them.

Yeah, ours are not free. But I wait, like, I know what you may know, because I, I waited longer than a lot of people to do one because at first I was like, man, I'm not, I'm not into that idea at all for a lot of reasons. but having now done one it was a lot more fun than I expected it to be because it's like it does kind of scratch the edge a little bit even though it's not at all the same thing but again like they said

not just doing them for free or whatever but I definitely hear you I mean I understand that mentality for sure I think it's one of those areas where there is some overlap between what we do but this also might be a huge difference

I know from talking to people they had a blast at our shows I'm certain if you did an online show people would love it but i'm also assuming that your opinions on sound quality like it's not it's it's so much not the same for the fans to experience that in your mind that's exactly right too until we can figure that out now you know like this driving show that i was going to do uh in east tennessee uh that sounded good to me and i think that's probably fairly safe but i guess they've got cases spike in there it's just no need to be stupid at this point yeah uh well i want to uh talk

a little bit more about your career in history, if you don't mind. You brought up the V-Roy's. I was introduced to the V-Roy's. I was pretty young. I guess I was in college. My buddy Ben and his older brother have been fans. They had seen you guys live in Knoxville when Ben was too young to be at the bar,

and he's telling me all these stories. And I'm just curious, and I don't really know how to ask this question other than to kind of do it, like Chris Farley on S&L, just like, what was that like? but you guys were kicking around Knoxville in the 90s. The 90s had, of course, its own kind of thing. And then you got signed by Steve Earle. Yeah.

I mean, you know, but you got to remember, too, in that time in Knoxville, Mercury Theater Days, Super Drag just got signed. Judy Bass. There were just 30-a-fused. It was just like, it was just happening in Knoxville at that point. And we signed, we actually, before we met Steve Earl, we signed with the label that called Praxis, which was part of zoo. And then in the middle of that, that all sort of folded in on itself.

The record companies did, and we were like, well, crap. We almost made it. And then all of a sudden Steve was like, hey, I own part of this label. And we got signed. We made a record with Steve. And then we graduated like you're supposed to do. We made a record for Warner Brothers after that. And then, you know, 2000 came and the music business completely changed.

on how it worked. And we were sort of at the tail end of it when it was still, you know, limousines and hookers and blow and radio and it was good times, Cadillacs. Yeah, we missed all that shit. That sucks. Well, one of the questions I wanted to ask

as you touched on it, when you're a part of something like that, this is like you're in an area or a time period, are you aware at the time or is it like, damn, looking back, a lot of bands got signed out and not, like, were you aware how kind of, different or unique that was?

No, man, we were in our 20s. We weren't aware of anything. Yeah. We were idiots. I missed that. You know, if we had, and you guys know it too, man, like, even if you're good at what you do and you get an audience, but to capture that little bit of lightning that puts you up there above everybody else, whatever that thing is, whenever it happens and it's

completely arbitrary, you got to hold on to it with all you got. I take it for granted, and we weren't smart enough to do that either. I read or heard you say one time and maybe that's what you were referencing. You said one thing I've learned is just make the music and put it out. Just keep making the music and put it out. Is that where you kind of got that from? Yeah, I mean, you know what?

Like when I first moved to Knoxville and started there, I was playing in bars and I played like every Friday at Hawkeyes. And then I had a regular gig in Atlanta on Wednesdays. And I had a regular gig in Anniston, Alabama. on Thursdays and a regular gig on Saturdays in Lexington and I was just doing this circuit. I wasn't writing good songs and I was just working and there was no joy in it. And that's when I finally, after about four years of that, it's like, man, I got to do something else. And I sort of got a part-time job.

And that's when I just started writing songs again for me. And when I started doing that and pleasing me, all of a sudden we got signed and all of a sudden. we got signed and all of a sudden we were on a double-decker tour bus tour in Europe, you know. I mean, and that was a key that I learned. And you always, you're always going to, if you can't enjoy it, how can you make anybody else enjoy it? Right. All right. So I guess I think telling off that, how do you write a song right now?

Can you enjoy writing a song about COVID or Trump or any of the things going on? And if not, then how do you write a song about anything else when, I mean, it's such a strange time in America. Well, I mean, but who was it? Faulkner said, you get enough angst in your teenage years to write the rest of your life, you know? So I'm sure you guys do the same thing. You always keep a notebook. I always keep sort of a tape recorder with melodies. And then when I'm done on the farm in the mornings, I'll go in, I'll sit down and try to put some things together and work.

And as you know, probably writing your stuff, it's all editing. Man, that's all it is. Yeah, for sure. That's the hardest, hardest thing to learn. That's it. It's taking me about 16 years to learn like, yeah, that's actually, that's the part that's the most important, you fucking moron. Got to use that eraser into your pencil more than the pointy into your pencil. So, yeah.

Well, man, I mean, I appreciate you being on here. We're going to not take up too much of your time. With donkey basketball, you guys got to see donkey basketball. I want to come up. Yeah, I'm going to take you up on that. All right. Hey, before you go, I got to let my wife say hi. I'm going to say she's a fan of yours,

but I also, I think she's too big of a fan, if I'm honest with you, Scott. Oh, she'll get over it. He said you'll get over it. It helps not to know me. Thank you so much. I guess we let people plug stuff, but obviously there's no dates coming up.

I don't know if you got a record coming out or if you just want people to follow your website, all that good stuff. Yeah, come on to, it's the-T-H-E, the-Scottmiller.com. Just come buy some shit. Yeah. Hell yeah. Well, thank you very much, Scott. It's a wonderful.

and very enlightening conversation. Absolutely. All right. Appreciate you, buddy. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you, good night and skill.