wellRED podcast - #177 - Butt Butt Man and The Fart Bank Heist

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

This week the boys discuss a new character Trae's youngest son came up with, Drew's wife Andi pops in to share a hilarious story about throwing Turkeys out of a plane, and Drew accuses Trae and Corey of being soulmates and gaslighting him into thinking he is a bad person. wellredcomedy.combluechew.com promo code REDBoth Specials are pay what you want!!Drew's Special: Paypal - [e-mail] Venmo - DrewMorgComedy Corey's Special: PayPal - [e-mail] Venmo - Buttercreamcorey

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah.

So that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the. What is up everybody? It's your boy the show and I'll be damned. I got stuff to promote this week. Go to well red comedy.com. W-E-L-R-E-D comedy.com. That is where you can buy tickets for well-read quarantine comedy. It's a one-night live.

event on Friday, August 7th, 9 Eastern Time. Just go there to our website to pre-order. We're going to be doing stand-up. We're going to be doing it online. Look, we've been off the road for too damn long. We haven't been able to give you guys any of the good, good for too damn long. So we're going to do a one-night live stream event with some new jokes and stuff like that. If it goes well, obviously, we'll do it again because I'm looking forward to it, man.

So like I said, go to well-readcomedy.com and grab that. This portion of the podcast is brought to you by some other stuff. that I need to promote. Number one, first, but not the most. And then we'll have our last, but not the least. But I have a new podcast. It is called Through the Screen Door with Corey Ryan Forster. It's going to debut on July 21st.

You can go ahead and subscribe to that here on iTunes. And wherever you get your podcast, it's going to be a little variety show. There's going to be some running bits. There's going to be some segments. I'm going to do a monologue. It's just going to be zany. You know how your boy gets. I'm a fucking lunatic.

But our main sponsor on this podcast is our boy Drew Morgan, who just put a special out. And I would like to have Drew tell you more about his special. And then we will get into this week's show. So Drew, take it away. Yo, it is Drew. I just wanted to let everyone know, remind you, I guess. My new special, surly across America drops in two days from this podcast release date. That's Friday, July 17.

It's early across America. Venmo me at Drew Morg Comedy or PayPal me at Drewmorg at Gmail.com. Anything you want. If you don't have money because quarantine sucks and everything's weird right now,

just email me, let me know, message me. I'll just send it to you for free. I just want people to watch it. And if you're listening to the podcast right now and you're like, look, man, I like you guys, I like the podcast,

but I don't know about comedy specials it's not my thing. Just take a chance, man. You know, I love comedy. I want you too, too. It's great. Here's a little clip from it. It is a joke about hipsters dressing like our uncles.

Doing it too, they cut their hair short in the front, they leave it long in the back. You're cute, little hipster girl, but that's a mullet. This isn't a mullet. I learned about this in an underground Paris fashion. We'll call it a moulet if it makes you feel better. That's a mullet. There's no such thing as designer camouflage, vegan grits is corn, and let me tell you guys something here tonight. No one has ever lived in a tiny house.

Those are trailers It's okay to live in a trailer You ever done Molly in a trailer Keith and that was meth And it was a good fucking time What's happening here? We don't live in a trailer We live in a tiny home

In a tiny home community Bitch you live in a trailer park Sex they care Way too much But don't give a next step makes Some people upset But they got three big old dicks That you can suck

What'd you say, baby? But worst. It's worse. Yeah, it is worse. I thought she said. No, I don't know. I thought she said butt worth. You're right.

I thought she said butt worse, too. Worse or worth? I thought she said butt worth. Yeah. Do you all want to do that first? A cartoon butler. Yeah, yeah. That's Mr.

Buttworth. Mr. Buttworth. Butth, Mr. Budworth. Return his butt worth. When Mr. Farts in English Fere takes off, he gets him a man, you know. So I told you all this before, but now that we mentioned, now we mention Butworth and brought Mr. Butt back up.

It has been a long time. It hasn't been, yeah. My youngest son independently invented Mr. Butt also. Yeah, that happens a lot, actually. children have done before. Yeah, right. But his iteration of it is called But Butt Butt Man. And he's a master criminal, as how Benton describes him.

Because he like robs fart banks and stuff and steals farts to fund his butt-butt schemes. And he's just, you know how Mr. Butt for us was always like the head. Your kid is brilliant. And I know everybody thinks their kid is brilliant. and everybody sucks up to people. And by the way, I can't stand giving you another thing to take credit for that you barely deserve. But your kid is fucking brilliant.

Yeah, he is. He's good stuff. He's a wildcat for sure. But you know, our version of butt, like the head was the butt and everything. And he's like in a suit and shit, but his head's a butt. But butt man is the whole torso. It's a butt with arms and legs. Right, right.

No torso, but the whole thing is a butt. than ours in every way. Yeah, I like it better. Man is better. Yeah. Oh, butt, but, man. Imagine him DJ in a full buck. So, let me ask you this.

This is another thing he did the other night that I've debated bringing up because it's like, are we on? Yeah, we're on. Fuck it. Dude, are you shitting me? What do you think? Well, I have other stuff to, but we're going to, I know, we're going to go back to that because I want to hear what you have to say about this weird old town.

But Benton, my youngest son, Ben, my youngest son, and the other thing you did that I've debated on bringing up because it's like it is funny but it's also like weird the other dot I heard this second hand katie told me that she was aware but pretending like she wasn't paying any attention to him that benton was over on the side of the couch tying up this little Mickey Mouse doll like tying his arms behind his back like a hostage she said and she said Benton said to him nobody's going to hurt you. I just want the reward money. Well, he's got to make a deposit to the fart bank. The butt bank. The fart bank. Yeah, right, exactly.

Yeah, but he, like, was going to hold Mickey Mouse hostage to ransom him for something. And it's like, I don't, I have no idea where he. First off, he's fucking with the wrong mouse. I'm going to tell you that. Right. Yeah, without a doubt. Like a dude, buddy, even butt off, Ben. Nah, not.

But buddy, Mr. Bubbub man. He used to rock one to ransom, you know. That's true. That's true. Right. Hey, let me ask you this. And you know, that's like, that's the naivete of youth.

Yeah. You know, look, if you're going to go for it, go big. Have you asked, have you asked Benton, like, how inflation has been to farts since the pandemic has started? Because I'm just, like, curious, like, what he's, what he's getting for these farts that he gets from the fart bank. and also how he converts these farts into, I assume Bitcoin, because that's already kind of like farts to me. As far as I can tell,

currency actually never factors into it other than just farts. Like he solely uses the farts to like pursue his farts. It's a fart-based economy. Fart he fists. Like he uses the farts he steals to make like fart bombs and stuff to don't steal more farts. Like it's just, it's a vicious cycle.

This makes way more sense to me than the Fed. Yeah. It's a fart-based economy. And during quarantine, I got to be honest with you guys, I'm sitting pretty. In farts? I know that's right. Yeah, man. This beer.

That's a sour beer. Unfiltered. I'm farting right now. I told you all. Another thing about my boys, like, and this is mostly the older one, it's bent and too, but this is mostly his older brother. If I fart, like a real good fart, he will, like, cheer from across. the house. Last night, he was in his bedroom. He was in his bedroom and I was sitting on the

couch with Katie and farted a massive fart and all the way from his bedroom outside the house. He goes, yeah. He goes, whoever that was, that was good. What happened to me. What's happened to me is I've recently, well, not recently, I think me and I've taught, one of the first things I taught my niece was how to make fart noises. I mean, of course it was. Like fake ones? Yeah, like your mouth. Yeah, like, or whatever.

And so, like, anytime I go up to her and just go, she'll do it back, and it's been super funny. And then the other day I was having to watch her, because Kirby had to, I don't know what she was doing, but I had to watch Laura James and me and Amber were in the room hanging out. And Laura James is sitting there, and I legit farted, like, real fucking loud. And as soon as I did, LJ. turn around and went,

and it, like, that double one-two punch. and I've never seen Amber fall out that much. Like I've never even close to me. Her life's hard. I think I've told you all this. Sean Patton is a comedian who's great. So fucking funny, man. He was running his hour for fringe festival,

and so it was a little bit more serious. It's more like a one-man show. And it was based upon his mama, was a nurse during Katrina, and they couldn't get a hold of her for days. And she just continued to work her job and sleep over at the hospital, but all the lines were down. Nobody, so it's a story about his family and their history

and about how they thought his mama might be dead for a few days. It ends on a good note. His mama made it. She was a beautiful hero, blah, blah, blah. But the running through line was that his family, his dad started it. His dad's a coon ass. And like, when somebody farts in the family, he goes, ah-hoo!

Parked out again, boy. And just to test it to how funny he and, farts are, there were moments literally during that show where I saw a woman bawling crying from the heartfelt stuff he was talking about, loving his mama so much. And another woman dying laughing because right after he got done with that, he'd hit a fart and go, ah-hoo! Get that again, boy! And buddy, you just want to talk about like the perfect, just, you know, you're a hero to me and my mom and I love you and a fart joke right after. Yeah, no, it's money. I'm real jealous of what you just described.

So, well, dude, you know what? It's funny you say that because I think Sean Patton could be one of the best ever. But like, when I listen to his regular stand-up, I love it. It's so funny, but it feels like he doesn't like doing emotional stuff. But after I watched that one-man show, I was like, man, that's the funniest you've ever been. Like, it was unbelievable. Sean Patton's insane hilarious. Because he was mixing farts and farts and farts.

It's a way to be. No, he's awesome. I've done a couple different shows with him and never seen him not absolutely smash. And usually it's like very much in the room, you know, of a moment type of thing. But he says dad's a coonass, so he's from Louisiana. And that, that coonass, Cajun-y sort of dynamic is one of those that, like, no matter everything they do is funnier than if another type of person does it. You know what I mean?

And like we have, I don't know, us three still have it, but like rednecks on our accent shit also have that going on where it's just like, it's just funnier than another, you know, regular old white person doing it. And there's one that I've been thinking a lot about lately. There's also an example of that because me and Katie are watching this historical romance on Netflix called Outlander. Do you like it? Yeah.

Yes, I like it. She fucking loves it. I like it. So does Amber. I like historical shit if it hits. No, Amber's going like crazy for it, which, as you know, is my first detector that something don't hit. Right.

Well, it's like, you know, you said. But now that you said, I was like, well, I'll catch up. Well, you know, she, you said that Amber, like, you know, reads those books about Vikings butt fucking milk. Yeah. You say that's what you're saying. It's like, you know, I mean,

it's a historical romance based on like romance novels. Okay. So like, but it's got war and shit. Yeah, yeah, right.

And stuff. So I mean, it don't, you know, I mean, it don't not hit. Okay. But Katie loves it.

Well, you know, you know me, I've just, I've just needed a man to hear it from. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Does it actually hit?

Does it really hit. Yeah, right. Anyway. Uh, Uh, uh, anyway it takes place

mostly in 18th century Scotland oh really and yeah that it's not it's not a comedy really at all

but it's like it's populated the cast is populated mostly by like rock stupid rock stupid drunk as

fuck 18th century scotsman So, like, it's hilarious. Yeah. Like, there's so many things that they say and shit that just hit so hard for me just because the way they say it. Like, one that I've started saying to Katie that I want to recommend to y'all, whenever your wives do something that's, like, annoying, but not anything, like, seriously.

You'd have an actual fight over, but that does annoy you. You lean into her and you go, I smell the vapors of hell on you, woman. It does it. They say shit like that. Andy stinks all the time. time. So that's like a double hit for me. The papers of hell on you, woman. They do,

one of them got drunk and told this joke. It's like, and I was just thinking, like, that just hits harder. That joke hits harder in that accent than most of the other accent. So here's the joke. You may have heard it before. He goes, um,

a mine, um, you already got me. His wife, his wife walked in on their 30th wedding anniversary and she was, start naked and she said, oh, tell me, what did you think when you first saw me naked? And they said, I thought, I'd like to hump your brains out and suck your paps dry. And she said, and what do you think when you see me naked now?

You said, I think I've done a bonnie good job of it. That is so much better. Now, jokes are better in our accent, but other than the Cotney accent, we're the only ones who, we get that plus, but I think, I don't think Scott, maybe this is different in England or the UK, people around here don't assume Scots are stupid. Right. Around. They get the double, it hits, but there's not as many negatives that come along with it. Other than Cotney, I think we're the only ones who have that, even other southern accents, you know. Charleston people are concerned. funny, but like smart, you know.

I, um, right. I said rock stupid earlier. That is entirely because it takes place in the 1700. So it's like, they believe in witchcraft and all. But they're like, they're very dumb just because of when they're right. But yeah. But, and I think that probably a lot of posse, posh ass English types probably absolutely.

The Scots are stupid. Yeah, I think they're like the rednecks. They're definitely the redneck up over here. I mean, they literally became the rednecks, you know? Right. They moved to America. So you think. To the highlands.

Yeah. And started red assery. So you're saying that you think they have to deal with some of that too? Over there, I don't know, though. That's just my like impression. I know that they ain't always got along. I know that people do. That's why I brought them up.

I know that people are like to get a little of this tosser. Because they're like white trash over there, which they got chavs, which is specifically white trash. They also have a Jersey Shore type trash. I think it's. called the something coast i can't remember i when we were trying to do that show international redneck i found out about they've got a they they look that they have a show yeah yeah it's a show that's exactly just jersey short but in the uk and it takes place in that it's better because their version is snooky

her tits are just as big and she's just dumb but there's something about the butteringness of her accent no i know i know they're they're really told to me but i want to told to him and i don't even know way problem is. I didn't, there was this, well, there was this porn story that I discovered not too long ago. There was this porn star discovered and I watched her for a minute and I was like,

oh, this is hitting for me. And then she started talking and she had that like kind of trashy British accent and like, yeah, it's been, like, should we all, oh,

somebody please put two cocks in my ass. And, you know, and all right, sincerely, before we just completely delve into just total fucking fucking objectification of women alone. No,

It's also expanded. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Well, or let's expand it to British people in general. What is it about that? It's, I love trash. Like, we've talked about that. There's something like a fucking, just a girl with a white tank top. You can see her neon color bra.

She's smoking a palm. I'm talking about, get them babies in the goddamn car, but she's cute. Oh, man. Well, what's her name from Joe Dirk? Jamie Priestley. Yeah. I can't remember. Her whole career, I'm not saying she's not talented.

She's very funny. but her whole archetype was trashy hot. I was so in love with her, my ass. All right. If you trashy hot, and by the way, I think this goes both ways, you know,

if you, like Aaron Paul in, Breaking bad. Dude, yes. Amber's so attracted to him. Because of his trash. Like,

she'll straight up saying. That version. He's like, it's a bad boy thing, but like what she means by that is he smoked cigarettes and he's got tattoos and stuff. And like,

if he didn't act the way he did, I may not feel this way, but he acts like this, and he looks like someone that would act like this. So, like, yeah, the dude, that's the thing. They got that shit, too. They like trash. They like dumb trash. Right.

If you add something extra to it, like an accent. Yeah. You know, or a face scar, you know, whatever, just something unexpected. You guys, you guys like Guy Ritchie movies. What's the former footballer, Vinny something? Benny Jones. Benny T. Jones, I think. But he scares me and kind of turns me on.

Yeah, dude. No, he's a, no. And I'm pretty sure that he's like, he really is that. He doesn't literally murder people, but he's like a bad motherfucker. Yeah, in real life. Yeah, well, and talks like that. But I'm saying like, I get, I like watching him. You know what I mean?

I don't think I want to suck his dick. But if he wanted to rail Andy and she was into it, I'd be like, I'll watch that. Yeah, I hear you. Yeah. It's trash hot. Dude, trash hits. Without a doubt. Trash pits.

And I'm just. Anyway, we all just imagine. We all started thinking about a girl we used to know. Yeah, we forgot. We really did. We forgot we were on a podcast for a minute. Just getting wistful staring on a trash. Thinking about the time I about dislocated my knee,

hitting it on a trailer hitch, having to jump out of her goddamn window because her dad came home early. I can feel it every time it rains, and I think about brandy. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, man. Drew.

Drew. Drew. Yeah, Drew. Yeah, Drew. bro. Yes. What's this, what's this situation? No, no, I want to have Andy tell it because I just want her to.

All right, so let me intro it. Andy, come on. Jesse in here. Andy. Andy, we're done talking about trashy women. We're going to talk about stuff low head for you. Come here. I'm going to unplug my headphones, so sorry

if the sound gets weird for two seconds, so she can hear y'all. to intro this, Andy. Andy. You guys still hear me? Yeah. Fuck, I can't hear you. Yeah.

Give me one second. Okay. It would have thought that he would make this the most difficult way. Okay. All right. Andy listened to just the Scott Miller portion of her podcast last week because she's She's loved. And we were talking about all the animal stuff and we were on a trip.

I listened to it in the car and she was like, What about that town that drops turkeys out of planes? And I was like, what? Cooked? And I literally go, just don't. I don't want to know anymore. I want to hear all this on the podcast. And other than what I just said, I don't know anything about it either.

Andy, go. Okay, so it's a town called Yelville, Arkansas. Yelville? Yelville. That was easy to name. I E-L-L or like the college. Y-E-L-L. They were trying to name the town and nobody.

So they were trying to name the town and nobody would shut the fuck up. So the little old lady called her that. It's in the Ozarks. No shit. So in like the early 1950s, they started this festival near Thanksgiving time called the Turkey Trot Festival. Those generally are normal like turkey trots. Yeah, we had a turkey. Yeah, we had a turkey try it, but there wasn't no airplane.

Your turkey, turkey shoes. There's like contests and stuff. People wore contests. They have a missed drumstick pageant, which is just based on. I know a couple of girls who would have won that. How many did you have to fit? Okay, so then in the 50s, somebody, when it first started, some dude just rolled over the town in a plane and started throwing live turkeys out of the plane.

and people were like catching them and it caught on like people fucking loved it yeah yeah they got over it's a big finale so we made the yearly tradition like seven decades

they've just been like throwing live turkeys out and like kids fight over them they like can they like rip their their wings off fighting over them like Jesus Christ there was a ride up and a like a

the New York Times and maybe like the 80s. And they were, they were like, it's atrocious. I mean, come on, bro. I saw a turkey hit a power line, go flying up into the air, and then hit the ground. And then it got fallen by children. That is the most interesting thing that ever happened to that piece of shit rider. And I hope he or she dies. I was about to say, Drew, come on, man.

You kind of got to give it to the New York Times on that one. Like, what are they going to do? Yeah, I didn't expect him to. right that it was atrocious. I just wanted them to acknowledge that they also had the best weekend of their life. Fuck, yeah, of course. How high is this fucking playing?

I mean, it's playing height, at least. Yeah, but if it's plain hot, like, you try to catch a goddamn turkey from playing height. Turkeys don't fly, y'all. No, I know that's what I'm saying. So this turkey's dropping straight down and just fucking drilling little kids. Can they not? I know they can't fly, but.

They can't even like, you know, like, they can, they can, I've seen them. When I was a kid, we used to chase turkeys all the goddamn time. Like, that was fun. They can't even get themselves off the ground. I mean, because they're like, they're thick. I know.

But I mean, they do kind of like chickens do where they can steal fuffa, fuffa, fuff, f like you're right. And I'm saying if they fu, if you're thrown out of a plane. Her family owns that not slowing down some. I don't think so. Your family owns that big Tom, Turkey. I think he can't

Fuff, but all his bitches Fuffa Fuffa Fah I mean I've seen Turkey's Okay, let me ask you this Do all the turkeys die after they get thrown out of the plane?

I mean if they survive Because if they don't get this Because if they don't Then I must ascertain that they have Fuffa Fuffa Fuffa Fudd at least a little bit Yeah, they got Fuffa Fuffa Fucked up

There are some that have survived Out of this so in the town there's like two sides to this. It's like there's people who have always literally not. They're like, this is fucked up.

This does not represent us. And there's the people who are like, fuck yeah! Catch the turkeys. That'd be hilarious. If the people in that town had one of those car tags that said this house divided and just one half was a turkey

falling out of an airplane. The other half was somebody like, no, these turkeys don't fly. Man, I really want a T-shirt from this shit. because you know they've got some. Oh, yeah. They do. We need to just start making t-shirts.

That could be one. I'm sure you would have figured this out, but PETA got involved at some point. And that makes it better. Like, when I was younger, I was like, man, fuck PETA and they're annoying and this and that. And now I'm like, yeah, man, bring that chick that gets naked and pours blood all over her body. Why not? We're throwing turkeys out of airplanes. What the fuck else can we have?

I bet Peter really changed their minds. Yeah, as they typically do. You know, maybe we'll throw these turkeys out of airplanes as a reasonable person that also throws turkeys out of an airplane. You know, Bill, I was thinking about it the other day. I had a conversation with that lady who poured lamb's blood all over her body and started chanting at me in some kind of Indian accent. And, you know, native, Bill. And I feel like we shouldn't throw these turkeys out anymore. There was one guy from the town, like the article.

I read, they quoted a guy that had written something like a letter to the editor of the local Yelville newspaper. I forgot about Yale. It was after Peter got involved, and they started getting things shut down. And he wrote this letter where he like basically said, they don't understand that they're coming in and ruining our lives and the traditions that our town has created. Yeah, it's not animal abuse, it's heritage. And so

Now they don't do They don't do this And they stop doing it They now they All the world's going to shit boys But there's also What popped up from this is There is a turkey rescue

In Yelville or near Yelville Where some lady started rescuing The turkey she would show up She would show up and try to get them Before the kids bounced on them And now she's got this like survivor turkey farm where all these like turkeys are walking around like I've seen it.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Need to make some trauma stock. That's what they need to do. Is there a reason it's always kids? Is it like against the rules for grownups to be out there and pouncing on the turkey? No, I think it's just like it's not for the whole family.

Right. It's also like catching a foul ball and nothing. There's a kid right there beside you. It's like, you know, let the kids enjoy it. I think the hit in this part for the adults is just to sit there and drink beer and watch turkeys fall out of the green. I don't want to run and catch them. So did they build a statue of that first old boy that threw the turkeys out of a plane over the...

Whatever happened with that hero. It was really funny. When Peter got involved and people started writing letters, it was when Bill Clinton was with president, people started like really writing letters about it and stuff. I don't know why that matters that he... It matters so much because that's our people, our people meaning rednecks and hillbillies in a nutshell. We finally got the White House, but it also came out that we were throwing turkeys out of the one airplane we owned. Why'd y'all buy that airplane?

You spend all your rent money on it. Well, buddy, how the hell else was we going to throw turkeys out of the sky? Well, PETA started like trying to, you know, before they got things shut down, they were really trying to figure out how to get it shut down. So they were like riding Clinton. They tried to go through like the National Aviation Society, whatever it is. And they were like, I don't know what it's called. But they were like, we can't do anything because we.

No, no one says you can't throw turkeys out of the plane. We look. Things being like live animals being thrown out of the plane. That's my favorite thing about our people. It's like, it's like, you know, we don't have a rule for this. Yeah, didn't think we needed it. What? Let's do it.

Never. So then they discovered that through all this, that it was like a private, it was private people. Like, it wasn't the town that was putting on the turkey throwing. It was, they were just sponsoring it. Like, some old boy just started, like, throwing turkey the other plane and they were like, yeah, we'll put our name on that.

That shit was coming from the private sector. He'll spend his own goddamn money. Oh, I knew, I knew that it wasn't like, no committee came up with something that brilliant. That took a visionary. Not the, not the people that named their town. Who had a dream. There's no way.

And what I find, like, most disturbing about It is how, well, I don't know if it's most disturbing. But it's awful that they're throwing these live turkeys out of the window and killing them like this. But like the big bird industry in general is like so fucking much worse. For sure. Yeah, no. I was going to bring that up to me. Of course, like, PETA is very much against both.

But I was going to say like, for anybody offended us laughing at it and shit, like if you still eat turkey on Thanksgiving, and I don't want to hear it because I agree completely with you. Like, I mean, you know, hell, at least they got to experience something. You know what I mean? Getting thrown out of a versus just like, you know, living your entire life in some tiny little cavity before getting slaughtered for some fat, dumb, and don't hit family in Iowa to eat. You're completely right, but I was about to tell Andy that I smelled the vapors of hell on her

for bringing up anything serious. But then I realized you saved me, Trey, because I can't fucking do that accent. and it makes me furious. It's the only one I want to do that I can't do. Which means it's the only one I want to do. You want to do? Yeah, it's a very, right. I can sort of do British.

It's a very hard accent. And another thing that's very hard is my dick. Once I take some blue chew, this episode is supposed to buy Blue Chew. Let's talk about something we can all use more of right now, guys. It's sex, great sex. Guys, if you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed, listen up. Bluechew.com, that's blue like the color blue. Bluechew brings you the first chewable.

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I think one time I woke up hungry. And I told, I told, I had to go to the pharmacy today to get, to get a mox of ceiling because I got some sort of like infection situation. and she's like, hey, make sure that you take these with food. And I was like, not a problem. Yeah, right. As opposed to what? As opposed to what?

I was like, and she didn't get it. And I was like, you got to take them on an empty stomach. Like, I don't, how do you? Yeah, I guess what? I'm just going to die from me. Can you wake up in the middle of the night? I wake up at 4 a.m. to take a pill or what? It's not like you can do the empty stomach.

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And again, that's B-L-U-E-Cube.com promo code red to try it for free. Blue Chew is the better, cheaper, faster choice. And we thank them for sponsoring the podcast. And remember guys, when you support us. Yeah. Oh, go ahead, Drew. It's made in the USA. Yeah, that's true.

It is made in the USA. I didn't want to skip over that. It's very important that we support that. It's prescribed online by lifestyle. licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor or wait in line. It's cheaper than a pharmacy because of that. They prepare and ship it right to you in a discrete package. There's no awkwardness. You don't have to leave the house. Andy, do you feel like Bluetooth has enhanced our life? Yes. Andy, Andy, I'll tell you the first thing Amber said when I started, I used

Bluetooth for the first time. I didn't tell her that I was going to use it, but I used it and we went and, you know, we did our thing. And after we got done, she goes, okay, what's up? And I was like, I was like, what do you mean? And she just looked at me right in the face and she said, that ain't your dick. So that's a ringing endorsement from my wife. If your dick don't hit like me, get you a blue sheet and get that hitting dick. Get you a new dick. Get you a new dick.

Yeah. That's so funny. Okay. What's up? What do you mean? Well, you got hit. That hit. So clearly.

Something. mate. Oh, man. God damn. Do y'all, that's amazing, by the way, about the old turkey town. I can't believe there wasn't a 90s country song about that. There probably, there has to be. It just, you know, from somebody. It's not good one. Somebody that didn't hit hard enough. Yeah. Yeah, somebody that opened up for the Kentucky headhunters had a song about that. Yeah. It's also so raving, turkey raven, that literally when you said the joke, that Scottish line, I thought, man, I'm going to bring Andy in here later. She's going to do something.

It don't hit because she always does. And then I'm going to be able to use that line on her. But what she said, I was like, oh, that don't hit. And I was like, oh, wait, no, it does it. She's right. She's talking about how it wouldn't hit. Anyway, it's just raven. I can't even shit on my wife, right?

Oh, you'll find a way, baby. Suck it. Cho. I mean, Andrew, but in particular, Cho. So this is about food or, being bald or being stupid. You know, that's funny because that brings up something I want to talk about that we can, next, that's a perfect way to get into it.

Go ahead. Well, this is very stupid. It's just something that occurred to me the other night. Yeah, well, no, I, that's why I directed it to your fat, dumb, man. I directed it at you for food reasons. I directed it at you for food reasons, but then, but then I, but yes, it is also stupid. But I made like a stupid topic, and it's my decision to bring it up. so I'm the one who is dumb and don't hit.

Anyway, I just thought of the other night for the first time and forever. Do you all remember when pistachios were like bright red and like stained your hands red and your face red and shit? What? Okay. No, I don't. See, Katie didn't either. Okay, Katie didn't either.

And I literally for a second, I started thinking like, Berenstein Berenstain. Is that even real? Like, yeah, right, exactly. Like, did I make that up in my head or something? Normal people remember Mandela's dead or alive or whatever. And Trace's like, no, food. Remember when it changed your face?

But, no, I looked it up and they were. Stachios used to be dyed red and it would come off on your hands and stuff like Cheeto dust. The reason they did it is they didn't think green hit. Before, according to what I read, before we figured out how to grow them here in America, now most of them are grown right here in California the ones that we in America are grown in California before California figured that out they used all come from the Middle East and apparently

over there they don't hit newsflash and really no they their processes stain the pistachios or something another made them look like you know unappetizing like color wise so we just painted them all bright red but no because and I mean my

reasoning for not knowing that is because I really didn't start fucking with pistachios until like, I don't know, maybe like five or six years ago, really. And I love pistachios, but I don't know when. I love pistachios. I think for screen sharing, for you. For y'all, while you do that, Tray,

I love pistachios, but I think we either didn't have them in my town or like my family, my dad. It was like, you know, that's fancy shit, boy. I know, but that's actually part of it for me is because I can remember thinking, because we did have them at, like, gas stations. You know, like, the little, like, clear plastic bags with the red tops and gas stations.

They have a bunch of different nuts and shit in those. They would have pistachios in there, and they looked like, they looked the opposite of upper, upper crust. Well, yeah, it's just fucking nuts. It's because it's an Italian. They look at how, like, red they was. Look at, anyway, this is, like, when I say red, look how red. Oh, wow.

Oh, no, I don't remember that at all. And, okay, I. I apologize. I asked Andy to get me a beer. Just real quick. Why'd they done them red again? Because they used to all come from the Middle East, and the way they processed them over there,

stain the shells, like an unappetizing color. So they responded to that by painting them all red. But now we grow up in America and we don't stain them. So they quit doing that. Let me ask you this. Did the red taste? Did the red taste? I mean, like, when you lick your fingers.

If it did, I don't remember. See, that's... I know what you mean. I just really... I didn't really fuck with them much back in the day because I didn't... I thought they, like, seemed like gross. They weren't Cheetos. Yeah, I know.

Right. Yeah, exactly. That, too. I'm telling you how I fucking love pistachio. I do, too. It sounded like too much. No, the first time I ever, the first time I ever encountered pistachios was pistachio ice cream. And then I, just from then, I was like, well, I mean, that's...

this must hit. It took it to him and like to sink in but that is so raving and very much checks out. It's good though.

Pistacio ice cream is the shit. It's one of my favorite. I love that shit. It's awesome. I love that shit. It's awesome. Macadamians is the new Bougy nut

where I'm like they're still they're so goddamn expensive man like it's ridiculous. They do hit though. Now man I want to make some goddamn pistachio cookies or some shit. I wouldn't make you cookies. Yeah.

How's that? Chip cookies. How's that going? Flames. Yeah. Yeah. The boys elite fucking seven or eight of them if I allow them to. Where are you at on oatmeal cookies?

For them, against them. Are we talking about the chocolate oatmeal cookies that are no bake that you drop on a piece of parchment paper? No, I just meant like oatmeal raisin that type. Yeah, I don't like oatmeal raisins because I don't like raisins. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yes, I do. Surely you know.

They're called do do do do balls or some shit. That's what they call. I always heard them called chocolate drop cookies growing up. Yeah, that too. So I might have to make it gross. Yeah, right. Yeah. But I mean, those don't not hit.

No, those do hit. Yeah, they do hit. I know, what seemed to me like you thought they didn't hit. No, because you know. But it turns out they hit for y'all. No, they do hit for me. I just mean the other ones hit harder for me. My mama made something the other day that legitimately tasted like

eating a bowl of oatmeal, which I've never had them be that quite good before. You could, like, taste of butter coming through, you know what I'm saying? Good. Damn. Hey, did your mom ever get to try a macaroni ice cream sandwich? Not yet, no. You make that happen for her and her life. Yeah, man.

Fly your mama out here for her birthday and then take her to that restaurant. Her birthday is December 26. That would really hit for her because we always forget about it. We don't forget. We don't forget about it. We're all so worn out from Christmas that we're like, Fuck you. Get over it.

You've been retired just 1992. Who needs a goddamn birthday? First there was Jesus. Then there was you, Mom. Yeah, good call. So, what are you drinking now? Me? Yeah, I do, man.

This is, okay, actually, yeah, let me give them a quick shout out. Libertine, brewery, and restaurant, but, you know, how that goes in COVID. In San Luis Obispo. You guys remember I got this tattoo? Yeah. I got it from a guy who was a fan of the podcast and us, and now he's a buddy of mine who's named Louis, and his girlfriend, Audrey, is the head brewer at Liberty,

and she sent us home with some stuff that ain't released yet. This is a sour saison, and buddy, it is good. But you got ice in it? Is that thing you just being a savage? Nope, and I wish you wouldn't have said that in case she listens because she'll be mad about it. It was just one. You can hear it ice in around.

That's the only reason I even asked because I knew that you were drinking earlier, you were drinking a sour beer. And then I heard clingy, clingy, cling. And I was like, oh, my man has switched to vodka. And he's going smoothed in. That's literally why I asked. It was in our car. And it's not hot, but it was warm. And I didn't want to wait because we're doing our podcast.

What? Yeah, it's fucking good. This is the shit. I don't know why, but putting ice in a beer has always to me been like such one of the fucking trash. actually as piece of shit things you can do. So it's... Well, it's funny. Well, it doesn't bother me when you're drinking trash, pieces of shit loggers.

You know what I mean? Because it's like, what are it tastes like water? That's why I feel bad with this one. Now, to be clear and fair, I only put one in it, you know, and it's a strong beer. But yeah, I don't disagree with you. It's like, it's doing stuff. But it's funny because me and Corey both put ice in our... Yeah, I'm not trashed.

You know what? We are trashed and put ice in our wine. And, like, people definitely... This is the perfect... what your red wine go ahead i'm sorry it's okay no i'm just gonna say like people that don't hit for people no it's no people look at you weird like we we i don't know about you cho but if i'm like add a bar i'm gonna do it i've now i've taken to like i order them separately just so i don't have to like go through the whole like you want the ice in the yes that's what i want i say

i'll take a glass of house cab or whatever and also if you could bring me a glass of ice that'd be great. Yeah. And they'll do that, no problem. Then I just pour them together. But if you just order red wine on ice that fuck, they're like, what?

But that don't hit. Yeah, why would you do that? And red wine specifically, which is that what weird's people at, right? Yes. Yeah. I do believe some white women are prone to icing some white or blush wines and stuff,

but it's the red wine. That's not unheard of it. It's supposed to be. Red wine's supposed to be room-town. Exactly. Whereas the white and the blush are supposed to be chilled. So if they're not chilled, so people put ice in it, it's not that weird. But red wine's not supposed to be chilled, but I beg to differ too. Because I do not hit. Mid-level red wine and below, to me, it's like, it just depends on how hot it is outside and what mood you're in.

Yeah, I want a red wine drunk, but I don't, I want a cold drink. Unless it's cold. Exactly. That's why I like a cold drink. I've always not to cold drink. I never don't want a cold drink. Exactly. I was about, unless it's really cold, where I'm at and I live in Southern California so that don't really happen anymore and it rarely happened back home either because I'm from the south but unless it's really cold

and I like then a you know a cup of hot coffee or something hits but that's very rare for me and outside of that I want a cold drink I don't give a fuck how it's supposed to be served if it's hot chocolate if I'm drinking wine to get drunk I won't I want that cold yeah well that's me with my beer right now

hot chocolate did you say that I like I like hot chocolate when it's cold. I'll tell you what, it's even harder than hot chocolate, though. Cold chocolate, do it do. Oh, you mean a chocolate bar? No,

I mean like chocolate milk, boy, yeah. Oh, my head, right. I don't, yeah,

like, I have, the only thing hot, because it's fucking, it's real hot here in Georgia right now. And also, I don't, I don't think I told you.

I don't think I told you guys this, because I've been attempting lately to blanket myself, uh, in positivity, rather than negativity, I'm just going through this whole, I'm just going through this whole thing where, you know,

right when I, whereas usually my first ankle would be to complain about something, I'll be like, think about it for a second, don't put it out there in the universe. But my air conditioner, yeah, but my air conditioner,

we just got it fixed two days ago. It's been off since July 4th at my house. I know. I know. So, yeah, no, so think about,

think about how, how positive I've been. I haven't bitched about that. I haven't. screamed about it. But it's been rough, so I've been, you know, wanting a lot of cold drinks. But the only reason that I ever drink hot coffee is because I don't know if y'all get this, but with the hot into coffee in the morning, A, the hot immediately wakes me up. But like, I'm always convinced that hot coffee goes to work quicker than iced coffee.

And I don't know if it's just because the heat feels like it gets in my belly and the caffeine. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know your blood is 98.6. And it's like, well, my blood don't have to heat it up first. It's already ready. See, there it is. There you go. But that's the only thing that I drink hot at all is my first cup of coffee in the morning. And then after that, it's like ice coffee, you know, all the other day.

But, yeah, we got our air conditioner working in Jesus. It's so, you don't, man, you don't know how much you appreciate that shit until that motherfucker explodes. But I also like whiskey, like fancy whiskey is it's that's, you're not supposed to put that on ice either. Most of them are supposed to be neat or up or whatever. But like, I like that on ice too. I like to chill. Then it's like I get a cold, I get, it's both. Yeah.

It's cold and it burns. It's a cold burn. It's not quite 50-50, but that whole world is very much like, it may be 60, 40, 70, 30, but there's a lot of people who are like, that's bullshit. And there's a lot of scotches where you're supposed to put the water in the middle and it releases the piece or whatever the fuck they call. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I found out. That's what I found out about scotch and water.

I always thought it was like, oh, you just want it to be like half and half. like diluted or something like that, but it's not. It's just like a little, a couple drops of water and it's supposed to react with the something. It's fucking, just, just fucking, huh? Do you remember that time? I mean, I know. Whistle pig?

Yes. Yeah. I got, and everybody, podcast listeners, no, I did that shit with Al Gore in the past. And Al Gore sent me a bottle of whiskey for my birthday, and it was like high dollar fancy ass whiskey. And the way. If I may say this, it was like it's the only time I've ever been able to be like, yep, I can tell. It was so fucking good.

Yeah, because normally I'm more expensive. Have you ever had happy man Winkles? That's the only time I've ever been that way. Yeah. No, I've had some four rows, some blend of four roses that I thought was really good too. But, uh, but me and Corey, we drank that entire bottle of that whiskey. Like, it was a fucking $3 bottle of old crow in a goddamn paper bag on my back porch. Talking about how much we're head.

Talking about how much we're hit. Drunk as fuck. That's the last time. That's the last time Haiti has had to come out and say to me, like, get your drunk ass in the house. Like, did she have to, like, get for drinking and being up and all that shit? Yeah. That's the last time in the past six, seven years or more.

Dude, we were on. Eight, nine years probably that night. And it was just, like, real fancy sipping whiskey. Yeah. back there just housing it screaming about how much with it. You know how much more you feel like you hit when you're sitting there drinking like fucking $500 whiskey screaming? Bramal Gore.

It hit. But again, man, I remember like, because I'd had like, you know, when I say expensive whiskey, just like stuff that was more high dollar than Jack or whatever. And I still was like, I mean, I still just don't like this. I'm just like, I just don't think that I like whiskey period. It's just, it's one of those things where it tastes like shit. And even if it was really expensive, blah, blah, blah. I still haven't ever had a really expensive wine that made me go,

oh, yes, I know why this expensive wine was in a there. I feel that way about scotch. That's it. Yeah, but this, but dude, I'm telling you, free plug for fucking Whistlepig, buddy, that shit changed my life. All right. I'm about to,

bring it down a little bit. No, you see? Perfect. Thank you. Exactly. That's exactly what I wanted your piece of shit at. We got a friend who's, not a new friend at all, but he's become a new thread friend,

meaning now we text him every day. And his name is Mark. Trey has a show with him on Facebook, free plug there. He's also been on one of our episodes of Tiger by the Tale, believe it was. I think he's been on World Red. He's been on the Red podcast a couple of time. He's like filmed in for Corey at least once, twice I think.

For you, Corey, one time. That's why you remember. Through that thread. it is being extended to him, and he's gotten in on the joke because he's brilliant and funny, that I, you know, I hate everything.

I bring everything down. So I was right, but I'm still a piece of shit. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. Well, mine's been somebody I know. I'm about to lobby an accusation at y'all

that is fucking air-type and completely true. And let me say, before I do. Never heard you not start a sentence like that, but go ahead. Yeah, there we go. Keep digging it in there, baby.

Gaslight the fuck out of me. Let me say that I acknowledge I just named my special Surly across America and by the way, I was in Big Sur all weekend. Big Surly was right there. It was right there on the fucking table, boys. Why didn't I name it Big Surly?

I might change it right now. Anyway, he's gotten in on that joke as y'all have started to poison him against me. I think you've just been yourself in the text. Well, you just shut the fuck up for two seconds and stop gaslighting me. I'm not your mother. Stop projecting.

all the negative feelings you have about how your mom used to treat you onto me. Here's all I want to say. You can respond however you want when I'm done, Corey. I don't hate everything. There are so many things in the world that hit for me. Here's what's happening. And by the way, what I'm about to say is beautiful. You two are soulmates.

You're fucking soulmates. It is unbelievable how you guys feel differently about maybe two things in the whole world. But one of those is Corey. One of those is Corey. Yeah, whatever you said and Corey. Those are the only two things you guys feel differently about. Those cookies and you love Corey and Corey you hate Corey. Other than that, you'll feel the same way about everything.

So since we spend all of our time together, you guys are like, you know what I like? And it's trash. Whatever it is, it's just fucking trash shit. You're like, that's great. I'm like, yeah, I don't know. It doesn't really hit for me. Well, look at this piece of shit. always bring us in.

Well, I'm sorry that you don't like eating nachos out of a bag made out of Cheetos where you pour gas station chili on top of it. I guess life has been harder for you. It's so hard for you, Drew, and you got to complain about everything. I fucking love so many things. I love being in nature and hiking and women. And you guys hate all of those things. So you're like, well, I don't argue with that.

Does not hit. like we have like four things in common and at the beginning of us meeting each other that was the basis of our relationship comedy trucks sad country music getting drunk and telling everybody to kiss our ass as our relationship has expanded as it should have it just so happens that y'all love all the same things and so y'all think i don't like nothing but i love so i'm so full of love for certain things but yes i'm full of hate for other things i'll acknowledge that 60% of this is me. I just want y'all fucking acknowledge. Yeah. That like I'm not, I don't wake up and say, hate me. No, no, you wake up.

Earlier than both of you. Shut the fuck up. I wake up earlier than both of you. And I'm in a good goddamn mood. And you guys would never know it because you're cuddling in the bed where you guys ain't fucking microwave burritos. Y'all, Trey, you have more money than God. And you guys sleep in a hotel room eating me. microwave burritos at three in the morning talking about I don't know how much brown

is the man which is great I genuinely love that y'all get to do that it's just you know I wanted to go no that's it look we don't hit that don't hit you're right that is it's shameful I don't not hit just because I don't love sitting on the fucking couch pouring raised potato chips down my throat talking about, well, you know, race is a different story in forever bag of potato chips. Who gives the fuck? All right.

I can't really argue much of any of that. No, I can't either. You brought it up. You brought it up. You still do wake up hate. You're talking about the Mark thread and how Mark. I go to bed hate. Mark has.

It's what happens to me hanging out with y'all during the day. I go to bed hate. Mark. Our buddy Mark, who has been on the podcast before and yes is on my Facebook show now so y'all probably know who he is at least a little bit we have only recently started texting with him like on a thread level with you know everyday group text shit that's relatively recent he's just getting caught up on and our buddy too shard are the only two people we have that level that's true mark is just getting caught up on all the lore right of our our triumph here because we have a

We have a bad problem about it with anything. We just carry on as if everybody knows what the fuck are dumb ass. Yes. We literally did it in a book that we published internationally. I'm just like, hey, everybody, if you don't understand what we're saying, get over. Yeah, with it. Shut up. Anyway, all I was going to say is Mark's a smart and funny dude, but he's gotten, he's done this,

he's done versions of that with both me and Corey, too, for the record. With Corey, it's, because Mark's just. trying to roll with it. You know, Mark found out, oh, Corey's fucking dumb. Here's all the, but he don't understand the nuance of Corey's dumbness. You understand? He usually knows it. So, yeah, often, yes.

But sometimes it's a miss. Like, we talks about Corey not reading and that type of shit with Corey loves to read. That's a recent example. Or, like, like, with me, he makes jokes about me, like, neglecting my children, or never seeing my children and that type of shit. That one's new because there was a lure that I don't want to get into associated with another person that we haven't even brought up where that was a touchy subject for a little while. Not because you actually abandon your children, but never mind. Now it sounds like you have done that.

Somebody said that to you in a way that wasn't really ingest once upon a time and it pissed you off as it should have. And so I feel like we kind of got away from that one. okay I after the show I want you to tell yeah I always because I don't remember but I usually just focus like my like I work the kitchen

that's how I am and like Trey's kitchen is you know how his mom left and stuff that's where I stay you know what I'm saying yeah yeah just keep working daddy and mama gone yeah yeah I just stay and then I rope it up the rest you know like yeah my only point I'm just saying and I don't

I didn't get upset I don't get upset at Mark when he makes like a joke like that. I've just sort of think to myself like you know, that the joke don't really hit because that's not based in a thing that's real or whatever. Right. He's just taken...

Or I really am a big asser. No. No. The fucking example for Corey I used was the not reading books thing. I'm saying like that was erroneous. That's the wrong kind of dumb. I'm saying Mark is like he's just figuring it all. I know that. Let's see. Let me be clear.

Two things. One, I have no ill will in my heart towards Mark or any of that. And I'm not mad at y'all for making these jokes to Mark. Watching y'all make these jokes again to Mark afresh, this is just a new thing. I'm like, man, by the way, guys, and this is true for you, Corey, in terms of being dumb. Our fans believe this shit, Trey. Do you understand that? They think Corey don't read books and that I'm a huge asshole. Yeah, and I do read books.

And I'm a medium asshole. Well, you know, now I feel like it's being, an accusation's been levied here that this is all my fault. Well, Trey, which part of the lore is that referencing to? And who started that, the idea that you're responsible for all this? Yeah, but I, you know, people, look, you do hate. You don't hate everything, but you do hate. I didn't deny that. Corey B. Ack and dumb.

Yeah. But I didn't think that I needed to take, you know, 15 minutes out of a podcast to explain myself. Here we go. Here's the gas one. There it is. You know, I just kind of roll with it because we're all fucking around. He just rolls with it, guys. You literally complain to every podcast about that.

First of all. What have I said? Second of all, I'm not after any sort of change other than I want everyone listening. I don't give a fuck about you to. I want everyone listening right now to understand. understand that this stems from, that'll help them. That this stems from how much you adore each other. So it's like unbelievable.

If that's what you need to believe, if that's what you need to believe that this is all about, I'm willing, because I'm trying to do this whole positivity thing. Like I'm close to getting the blanket. I'm close to getting a blanket. Does this work on your mom? Because it's not working on me, homie. No, working on my mom. Are you shitting me?

Drew, is that why you picked the background you picked for today? Has that been your background? My background from another podcast. It's Drew smiling and his Bronco looking very joyful. It was funny to me thinking of Drew in his head being like, this is the thing I'm going to do today. And selecting that picture is like, see how happy? See how much I love that?

How much that hits for me? I almost changed it before the podcast to that one I have of that girl's butt, which I've done for y'all, but then I remember Corey recorded things. you just said that girl's butt and it made me think of something that I didn't know anything about that I just saw on the internet a couple days ago

and I'm wondering if y'all are aware of it and I don't want to I don't even know if we can show the thing I mean, wait a minute there's no rules no, let's just fine you all know that gun girl yeah's like a new tongue land

she like walks around the campuses or something in the- I had to block her, mute her and then mute her name on Twitter so I didn't see anyone talking about her anymore. Okay. I don't know, I didn't, I don't know shit about her either. I was very vaguely aware.

I mean, I'm vaguely aware of who she is and what her thing is. And I don't know much about her at all. But y'all know what I'm talking about. Yeah, she don't have. She popped up on Reddit and what I didn't know. Oh, about her pooping her pants? Yes. Y'all know about that?

I just now heard about it too. And it's one of those things where it is funny, but I got to warn you guys, and here's me bringing everybody down. Sorry for this. After four months of you seeing that joke over and over again, It's like, that's why, like, I don't, she's just the easiest punching bag, you know. I just, I didn't know, because I barely knew about her and I didn't know about that.

But did it for real happen? That picture of that girl's butt and it reminded me of it. And all I wanted to say was like, dude, have y'all seen the picture? It is a crazy amount of food dog. No, no, no. No, pull it up. That's the part I'm talking about. This changes everything.

Yeah, pull it up. Pull it up. Well, I'll try. I don't even remember her name. What do you mean? Try. Just type in Gunnar. Is Elizabeth or Kate?

Gun girl poop butt. I guarantee. Gun girl poop butt. Yeah. Gun girl shit self. Gun girl poop butt. I guarantee there's no way that one. I'm going to.

Yeah, but it's like, is it gross? You know. Yeah, fuck yeah. It's gross. Well, I thought it would just be a bulge. Yeah, like a brown bulge. No, no.

She's got a weapon. She's got a dress on. Oh. See, God. Damn it. Do it. Now you got to do it. I'm looking.

I'm looking for it. I can't. No, I can't like. Oh, she's got a lot of money. She probably tried to scrub internet. I know,

but I saw it deep in the comments of. Showbutt. Are you rolled up your sleeves or did you cut them so smooth? There we go. Here we go. There are. God, Jesus fucking Christ.

Okay. Good job. Like Amber did. Ooh. La Mercing. She did a real good job. Oh my. Oh my.

like that ain't her bro. Bro, that ain't her. Don't never get that away from me. That's so much, do-do. That ain't her. And here's how I know. That ass was too nice to be her. I don't know, man.

Dude, I don't know. I mean, like, I'm not, I don't know if it's heard not, but I'm saying there's a whole, whole lot of support for the notion that that is her. It'd be so funny to me if that weren't her poop. She just passed out like that

and then somebody took that shit on top of her butt. Somebody said, I'm old boy. Somebody said like, yeah, somebody said, when I first saw it, somebody said, my God, it looks like somebody's shit on her. It looks like somebody just squatted down over and took a shit on her butt. Shit on her butt. Well, we really bookended the shit out of this podcast, didn't we?

Hey, are we, oh, is it time? I mean, I mean, we can do whatever we want, but it's just we opened up with fart, fart, But let me let me re-plug my special, certainly across America. Venmo, Drewmore, comedy, or PayPal, drewmorg at gmail.com, anything you want. Corey, if you don't mind, I'll send you a clip to put in at the guests at the end. Yeah, you got it.

Yeah, man, it's a compilation of jokes I've done over the last two years. I was going to just release a tape, and I couldn't pick which one I wanted. So I just said, fuck it. I'm going to mix all the good tapes I have together. pick like a greatest hits thing. And I did that and I'm super, I'm super proud of it and I'm happy about it.

It came out nice and it'll be out this Friday, July 17th. You can pay whatever you want. Just Vimmo me some money. And if you can't afford it, just let me know and I'll just send it to you. I will have in the descriptive section here of this podcast, wherever it is you listen to it, I will have the links to both Drew's PayPal and his Venmo. And my PayPal and my Venmo because I've got a special out too.

I think they complimented each other very well. Yeah, if you haven't ordered Corrie's yet, order them both. A couple of people sent me like 30 cents more than they sent you. Yeah. Somebody did. A couple people have done it with a dime for you on me. And what I was going to say,

and then other people did it the other way around and screen capped it, so I knew they paid you more. Yeah. And that was fun. Yeah. It was plenty of way, sincerely.

So yeah. And yeah, I got briefly mentioned earlier, but I am doing a new, like, live show on my face. Facebook page. It's specifically about political, topical mess. With Mark. Tuesdays and Thursdays with the aforementioned Mark Agee, 6 Pacific.

Did you change it to two days a week? Because I thought it was three once upon a time. Or am I just stupid? No, it's always been Tuesday. And I say always, it's pretty much, I mean, it's brand new. I think we'll be only done two. I got to be honest, and I know how this is going to sound, but that makes way more sense.

When you first, I misunderstood you and I thought you were saying Tuesday through Thursday, It was when we were talking about camping. I thought you said you were doing a show Tuesday through Thursday, and I literally thought I can't believe Trey agreed to do something. I mean, I'm already regretting the two days, but, you know, I'm sure that won't be reflected in your work anyway. No, it's fine. No, it's fine.

Hell. I don't know, man, no. I thought about that exact thing. And, you know, yeah, I was like, oh, three, that's just unreasonable. Well, hey, I think people will be into this. That came up because. I was, you were saying, and where do you camp? Because you like to camp with your family.

And we could, obviously, we could do this off podcast, but I think it'll be interesting to people. I'm going to talk about my camping experience briefly and tell you, you should do it. You said, you're not like comfortable doing a first come, first serve situation with your own family. Because I got to pack up all the boys, the boys and all of our shit.

And I don't want to do that and then drive to a place that's first come, first serve, and just be turned away. Because that's what happened to me. I feel very strong. And the new show is relevant because that means you have to leave on Friday. Right. This is exactly how it came up. You said, no, just go on Tuesday or Wednesday and you'll be fine.

And I say, well, luckily for me, I just started a brand new commitment for myself on Tuesdays. And Thursdays from doing that. We camped in the Big Sur in what is the most common or popular area or road. Excuse me, for free camping. And look, obviously, I don't know it was the first weekend after. after 4th of July. It's a pandemic and all that. So you go up this mountain and you turn to this dirt road

and it's just legal to camp anywhere off the road along that dirt road. At the very end, there's a big field that overlooks the ocean. I can't believe it's free. When I left, we left there Saturday morning. We saw people coming in and out, man. That field was empty. We could see it across the way. I couldn't get to it because my Broncos brakes are all fucked up.

so I took the sign or whatever. But also along the road, there were plenty of spaces. I genuinely think you'd be fine, A, B, that's the most popular spot. There's also other spots. And I think you might be able to find a place you can pay for. I know places are generally booked up, but those are the ones that, like, advertise on Google. I think if you do a deep dive, dude, there were a lot of places on the roof. And you don't even have to camp.

There were a lot of little ends. Yeah. I don't know. Here's what I'm trying to tell everybody. Pandemic sucks. if you can stay home, stay home. But if you're going absolutely nuts, fucking just travel. Just leaving your car,

sleeping your car. Just fucking get out of the house. That's what I'm trying to get at in general, and I think you should do it. Well, there's, and I'll make this brief too because I debated bringing this up or not. You just reminded me of a sort of a PSA thing that I've been thinking about for personal reasons. The reasons being that trashy above-ground pool we just put in.

People, I think, you may not realize because I just say it's because I didn't realize if you live somewhere else and you've always thought southern California in terms of the weather and shit it's just like you know paradise it's always sunny and everything's always pretty here the weather and the sky and stuff kind of is like that so it gets real hot in the summer but you think about beaches right or at least I always did that's where the beach is the ocean everybody not everybody but everybody with money's got a pool in their backyard and it's sunny all year long they got those pools and stuff here's something here's the thing they don't tell you if you've never been to Southern California. That goddamn water

is fucking cold in the pools and the beach. If you're from the south and you're used to like swimming in a lake in the summertime, which is like a bathwater, or somebody's pool in the summertime, or if you go to the ocean in Florida in the summertime and you're used to that and it's like warm and pleasant, let me tell you, that ain't what it is out here at all. And I got, if you're from out here, I guess people are just used to it or whatever. whatever. So it's different. But like, it's fucking cold. No, I know, but I got a fucking above ground pool. And Katie said what people do is there's solar heat. Solar. They're not like solar panels. It's like, you run the pool water through a bunch of tubes and the sun heats it up and it's like solar heaters and people use those.

And but in my head it was still like, I don't, I didn't know we was going to have to fuck with all that for an above ground pool. You know what I mean? But like, we've had it out there for weeks now. And it gets hot during the day. But that motherfucker is not warmed up at all. And my boys are wild as hell so they can handle it. But like, you're fat, I just had no idea. Right. And I don't, I just had no idea. Did you know?

Obviously, this topic don't have for Drew. Yeah, he just walk off. Maybe it hits for no one else in the world either. Sorry, I was about the one. But do you, Corrie, were you aware of that? Yeah, Dale Jones had keyed me into that because he, he lived in Redondo beat, Redondo or Redondo, whichever it doesn't matter.

That's where he lived and me and him were talking about, you know, the summer. I was like, dude, the summer man, you know, that's going to be rad-ass. You can go out there and, you know, swim and stuff like. He's like, bro, he's like, you don't want to fucking swim out here. And I was like, word. He's like, no, man, like pools. He goes, it really, because it doesn't ever get hot enough like it does, like Florida and where we're home back constantly to heat it up.

He's like, so it's pretty much just always cold. So, yes, I did, I did know that. Yeah. Well, I just feel like people don't, I know I didn't realize it because, again, you think of like bright, sunshine, pools, beach. all this stuff. And to me, that's the water. You get in the water, but the water is fucking cold.

Okay, but I don't know, I don't know why, and I don't know if it was random, but both the places I got in and the Big Sur and then in San Luis Obispo, which is in central, the central coast, which is south from Big Sur. It wasn't as pleasant as Florida, but it was not at all like Santa Monica. You didn't need a wet suit. I swam, you know, it was fine. So that's just me saying to you, Trey, like, you know, go north. Apparently it somehow gets warmer, which is apparently the only place in America that happens.

So that was also nice. No. We were in Luis Obispo and they took us to this place. It was a nude beach, so you can't take your kids there. Eh, you can. But it was, it was the water was perfect. Well, I mean, I live in the valley and it gets hot as fuck in the summer in the valley here. thing is at nighttime, it cools way down again. So like, when we first put the pool up,

I thought like, I was like, oh, once it gets real hot this summer, it'll heat up pretty quick, but that is not happening because it, because the temperature goes down so much at night that, like, it just undoes it completely. And it's, uh, anyway, I mean, I know this is very much a champagne problem. But, you know, my pool won't heat up, God damn it. But like, no, my larger point is I feel like people who are not from Southern California and never been here. to me, I feel like it's a pretty huge misconception that we have in California. So I'm just letting everybody know that the water is fucking cold. Yeah, yeah.

All you people, all you people who aren't blessed enough to live in the Elysium that is Burbank, just know it's not all it's cracked up to be. Yeah. I agree with you, Travon. I mean that. Unironically, I mean that. That was so Bill Burr right there. Like, I wish you to just fucking completely.

So, yeah, listen, everybody, Trey wants you all to fucking know. It's not all that's cracked up to me. Sometimes you're pulling on you on it. Yeah, well, the thing is that is that exact joke right before he made it, but yeah, did hit. And I agree, yeah, and I agree with you 100%. I just, it was there.

I just, it was there because I sat it there when I said it right before you said it. I know. Anyway, I know. I said it in a hitterway. Yeah, well, because you'd already, I know. I get, I get what it happened. I get what just happened.

We're good. Me and you are cool, man. That's fine. We're good. Let me plug one more thing. I did hang out with my buddy, Louis, and he tattoos the guy who's a fan, and the guy left a bottle of wine for me

because Louis told him he would see me. And so I just want to plug. I'm going to say Metus Atlas, M-E-T-A-S-A-Lis wine, and it's fucking tasty. And thank you, Paul, for the wine hits. Thank you, Paul. Thank you all for listening. And we'll see you next time.

Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you good night and school. Popeye's family feast. Why has everybody suddenly family with Popeyes hits the table? Feed all those cousins with six pieces of our boldly seasoned signature chicken. Two famous chicken sandwiches, two large mouth-watering sides, and four flaky biscuits.

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