wellRED podcast - #18 - Papaw Batman, Paris, and Lydia Loveless!

Episode Date: June 7, 2017

This week the boys sit down in the comedy condo in Huntsville, Alabama to discuss Trump pulling out of The Paris Agreement and Vigilante Papaws!After that you'll hear an interview with our good friend and the immensely talented singer/songwriter Lydia Loveless!As much as we like to pride ourselves in the humor department, Lydia absolutely stole the show and was the funniest person in the room!Check out LydiaLoveless.com for tour dates, and buy all her damn music... you will not regret it. As always, for OUR tour dates, go to wellREDcomedy.com and if you still need something to get Pops for Father's Day, holler at our book The Liberal Redneck Manifesto: Draggin Dixie Outta The Dark which is currently #1 in Religious Humor! Thanks for listening... keep downloading and subscribing and telling your friends. We love ya like Chicken! Skeeeew!!!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

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They're the down down down down down tour dates. Tour dates guys this week Thursday, June 8th, Los Angeles, California, June 10th, Vancouver, British Columbia, June 11th, Calgary, Alberta, June 12th, Edmonton, Alberta, June 22nd, Madison, Wisconsin. June 23rd, Chicago, Illinois, July 8th, Tulsa, Oklahoma, July 13th, Las Vegas, Nevada, August 25th, and 26th, Kansas City, Missouri, August 27th, St. Louis, Missouri. September 8th will be in Boston, Massachusetts at the historic Wilbur Theater. Can't wait.

Thursday, September 14th through Saturday, September 16th, we're doing a weekend in Lexington, Kentucky. Go to well-read comedy.com to get all those tickets. Well-read spelled just like this podcast, W-E-L-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com. Also, check out our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. Appreciate you guys. Enjoy this episode. Ski-Y-U.

Well, well, well, let. Ski-U! Hey, everybody, here we are. Welcome back to the Well-R-Rid podcast. We're here in the comedy condo in Huntsville, Alabama, just finishing up a week of shows at Stand Up Live, a new club that's opened in the past four or five months here in Huntsville. And it was a damn good time.

I thought I enjoyed myself going home tomorrow. Glad to be doing that. But it was fun. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, papaw. Is that for me? Yeah, Corey informed us that one of his goals in life is when he gets, gets older and is a papal because old people can get away with anything. So they can.

Sure. I agree. I told you my plan for retirement, I'm going to start doing heroin at 75. Yeah. Well, me too, but I'm going to be a heroin murder and ass papaw. Corey wants to murder people when he's a papaw. People that deserve it. Right.

Yeah, I'm going to be a ventilent. Vigilantee. You're going to be a ventral ante. He'll get to it eventually. That's pretty good. Yeah, no. I do. I'm not going to beat the shit out of them.

Obviously, I have to have a gun. I'll be old. but you already got gal yeah me and drew were telling him when he said this so like he's not gonna be able to do that he can't just go and just do the a even if you kill the first person

you're gonna get caught immediately you're a fucking papal like you ain't getting away when you kill that's exactly why I won't get caught at first I will be no I will not be a suspect because I have no motive you're gonna see you're gonna like serial kill these people like

sneak in fucking get them I'm gonna say you made it sound like you were just gonna walk go around, go up to their house, go to their house. When you kill futuristic Alex, hey, are you bottled off? Peg them in the fucking head. When you kill, they're not going to suspect me at first. When you kill futuristic Alex Jones.

Yeah, that's me. When you do that, you think you're going to get away with it because you're going to be an anonymous pap off. Not forever, but I guarantee for a couple months because I will have no motive. I don't think you have murder in your heart. I do for scumbags and shit. but like what I'm saying is they will not ever go well it must have been the 85 year old that's never that doesn't have a big time criminal record like I'll have no motive no fucking money to drive away from there without running into a fucking tree on the off the side of the road because you're a pap hall you're a papal I'll be fine I can walk off people think I was dropping off chopin's right now you're right now you limp you ain't gonna be have a walk when's the last time you heard a gunshot and actually feel right now you limp you ain't gonna be able to walk when's the last time you heard a gunshot and actually feel you're right now you're limp you ain't going to be able to walk you're going to walk when's last time you heard a gunshot and actually

fucking thought somebody got killed. I hear gunshots literally every goddamn night. I said, you'll be so slow as a papal. You'll be so slow as a papal. Yes, it will. By the time somebody hears a gunshot and it looks out, you will not have made it to the end of the fucking driveway. What I'm saying, yes, I suspect. I hear gunshots.

I hear gunshots literally every day where I live. I never once even fucking remotely go outside my goddamn house. You don't. Alex Jones ain't going to be living on the fucking mountain and Chickamauga or whatever. Okay. You're going to be in a neighborhood. What if I got one of them guns from like a fucking no country from old men? and things that he just puts those cow killer guns

that pressure that cow killer gun nobody will fucking hear it yeah but now you got it and you're gonna disguise it as your oxygen tank that's what I'm saying it would look like an oxygen tank but how you're going to get it up to their head as a pap ball you got to be quick no one let a pat you don't have to be quick because if a papal's doing something you're like well this is a papo

what's going on what's he doing he is furious yeah not furious I'm telling you I can do it we think he won't be able to get away with murder very easily hypothetically no and again when he's 85 this is the most ridiculous so we have ever been as a group. I'll eventually get caught.

I know that for a fact. What I'm saying is for a while, no one's going to be like, it must have been a papaw. I'd fucking get away with it for a while. And also, if I was only killing these sacks of shit that I'm talking about killing,

I think there'd be a lot of people that wouldn't want to fucking turn me in, be like, no, let the papal killer stay out. I'd be like fucking Batman. See, this is how it started. It's why you said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he just came full circle.

He said, I'd be like Batman. That's what he said before. They want me to do it. This is what he said. This is how it started. He said, when I'm 85, I'm just going to be just murdering people who deserve it and just mainline and heroin. I'll be like a papal Batman. And I said, we've been watching two different Batman's.

No. He doesn't either of those. Pat Paul Batman, which is one I'm currently right. That ain't Papal Batman. Yes, it is. Maybe Papal Deb Pull. What is Bruce Wayne going to do when he gets old? That'll be it.

You can't fucking catch him either. He's still going to be trying to do it. So he'd been doing his whole life. You ain't Bruce Wayne. Don't I'm saying. And eventually Batman, He is Bruce, though. You'll need to quit being Batman.

But that's all he's ever known. He is separately Bruce and Wayne. God damn. He ain't Bruce Wayne. What I'm saying is, eventually Bruce Wayne will turn 80. He's in fine shape. I mean, if he gets killed, no, but like he takes exceptionally good care of himself. You think he's going to want to quit playing Batman?

No. What was that? He does what? I don't know. Did I say a food again? He takes exceptionally good care of himself. Now you're talking about, well, Batman could do it. So I'm saying I could do it.

That's our own point is. What I'm saying he's going to live a long time. I could randomly live a long time. Keith Richards doesn't take an exceptionally good care of himself, and he's lived a fucking long time. He kind of looks like a pap-all Batman. Yeah, and he can fucking kill people. Nobody will be like, yes, Keith Richards did that.

Right, but that's Keith Richards, dog. You ain't Batman or Keith Richards. Let me go and tell you what's going to happen when I'm 85. I'm going to start murdering the fuck out of people, and I'm going to come to you, if y'all are still, which y'all won't be, I'll be the one that lives, both y'all. But if y'all are somehow alive, I ain't going to come to your house and kill you, which I could.

But I'm not going to. I'm going to come to your house and go, hey, man, look up on the fucking internet. You see them nine murders? Your boy. Your boy did that shit. And then I'm going to fucking jack off my limp dick, smoke a pipe, and leave your goddamn house forever. I ain't letting you come over because you might murder me. First of all.

No, I won't. Second of all, the only murder people that suck. Y'all don't suck. But your plan, though, for murdering people that suck, to be clear. You are going to die at their house. drive to their house, walk up their front steps, shoot them in the head. When they open the door, cap them and leave as an 85-year-old papal, and you think you're going to be able to just do that.

For a while. No way. For a while. Absolutely no fucking way. Who would suspect me? It's not about to, you'll get caught. Maybe. It's not about suspecting you.

I never said I wouldn't. I've said I'd eventually call. I could murder at least 10 people that way before. No way. Because I do it in the same fucking day. Yes, I do it in the same fucking day. There's the murderer on the loose in the Chickamauga areas. The scumbags I'm talking about him, the pap-ball killer.

The scumbags I'm talking about live alone. They don't fucking, they do. They don't fucking, nobody's... He hides his gun and his oxygen tank. Here we have him on video. That's the other thing, dude. In the future, there'll be cameras everywhere. Everywhere.

I could kill 10 people in one day as a pap-ball. As a pap-all. As a pap-all. It's a good thing. Because this is in the morning as a pap-all. This is in the future. I want to. You can tell you.

He's a papo in this grady video He has a diabetic gout shoes No, fuck y'all If we're in a future That has goddamn cameras everywhere I bet we got one I got glide shoes and shit So I won't be slow like a fucking papaw

I'll be on a goddamn like rascal scooter Upgrade 3.0 Like fucking where it's on my goddamn back And I hover up this motherfucker Shoot him in a goddamn head 10 times later Yeah they're gonna catch up to me But I could kill 10 motherfuckers

As an 85 year old Garin fucking team Why do you want to kill Because these are bad people That need to be gone from society There's bad people right now I don't want to go to He can't get away with it now

No, that ain't it He's a 29 year old man It's outside of the realm of possibility That's not it When he's 85 This is the stupidest fucking thing Easy money No

It's because I have a life It's because he doesn't care I have a life ahead of me now I don't want to go to jail As a fucking 28 year old Hang Unwinded a little bit I'm saying he's an 85 year old

I'm with you I'm with you! I know I'm going to get caught That's why I'd wait to 85 because going to jail's an 85 year old Vigilantic papal bat man You ain't even get treated bad in jail Jail will be better than the retirement at home that your motherfucking ass would be in

if you didn't go murder these people. If you go murder these people, jail will hit so fucking horrid about, yo, this is that Batman Papal that fucking killed everybody. Why? Do you want to kill people? You just said because they're bad. I'm talking about... Everybody who's ever killed anybody

said that. No, I'm talking about these people because our system is fucked up, and there's some people that go... Do you want me going on this? Because that's the real reason I fucking brought it up. I'm talking about people that absolutely should be in fucking in jail where there's marijuana victims that are sitting there for 15 fucking years, but a

goddamn child molester gets out in fucking three. So you want to murder child molesters? And fucking baby rapers and shit. People that literally... That's the same thing. That's what I'm saying. People that literally don't, like, they get out for some goddamn reason while some dude

fucking smoked a joint in Birmingham, Alabama, and he goes for 20 goddamn years. These people that, like, dude, a lot of them are going to reoffend. They shouldn't be the fuck out there. That's basically murder. You've just killed an entire kid's life. How are you going to find these 10 people? These kids on my phone, that's why the fuck this even got brought up.

What if one of those 10 people that shows up on your fucking petter-ass app is a guy that took a piss by a schoolyard when he was drunk or something? You can look up what they did on that app. So you're gonna find 10 pedophiles within like murdering distance for a pap hall. They do be living near each other because there's only certain places they can live. I guarantee you, that's what I'm saying. And a lot of them out in the country where even if they did call the fucking law, it takes them 45 fucking minutes to get out there.

I could do it. Just wound up. 10 in a fucking row. You're more passionate about this than anything. It's just, no, it's because you told me there's something I can't do. You know how I get. I got that fucking Marty went fly bullshit. You can't do it, but that's a son.

I'm still. Easily to do it right now, but I don't want to go to jail the rest of my fucking life. You can't easily do it right? Easily. I ain't with you, period. I have no motive. That is the main reason they catch people. If you go on a 10 person, now if they hear this, of course I'll get fucking caught.

If you go on a 10 person, there's no personal motive. I know somebody who's killed a child. They go, they regret it. No, what I don't. what I'm saying is when they go to ask the family, is there anybody that could have done this, anybody that had, they were never going to mention me because I don't fucking know them. That's what I'm saying. There's no fucking, usually when somebody gets killed or like, who, who has had an argument with them?

I want to change the subject for like seven reasons. Evidence and shit, you leave behind it. Especially when you're a pap on, you got damn skin and hair. Of course, you ain't going to have no hair to begin with. Exactly. Whatever else is falling out. There's a great point. No DNA.

I have no hair. Won't be there. There's more to it than just that. Also, the gun. You're powerfully dumb. It's just crazy that you think this. No DNA. What do you mean?

I ain't got no hair. No DNA. It's not the only kind of DNA. I was being funny. I'm very aware of that. It's not just about like what makes you suspicious. Also, you said you could kill 10 pedophiles in one day and get away with it. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We started Alex Jones. Do you know how close they live in the South together? A lot. I have an app on my phone. And not get called. Why do you have an app on your phone? I found out about it. I was like, is this legit?

sure it was. It probably ain't. I mean, that seems like something they got their pictures. They have their fucking criminal background. It seems like it ain't legit to me. But fucking look it up. They have to register.

They made an app for it. I don't see how the app. Who would get that information and then put it on the app. There's definitely websites for that. It's a fucking app. It could be super easy to hook one of those websites. They do it for people moving to different neighborhoods.

You can look up how many fucking pedrasses. Fuck that. Huh? I said I ain't with that. Fuck that. That's fine, but it exists. Yeah, but it's bullshit. Why?

Because that's some nanny state bullshit, first of all. Second of all, just like Tray said, but they have to register period. Now you get, just like Trace said, you've got people who got caught pissing near a school. But they have exactly what they did. According to who? According to what record? Do you know people who work at courthouses who put records in? Do you know what this fucking do you're like?

What I'm saying is, it's not that there's an asterisk by their name. What there is, it was like public fucking, you know, had their pants down in public or whatever. It's like exposure. asking you, Corey, if you think none of those are wrong. I literally think those are wrong. I'm not killing those. I'm killing the ones that are like fucking child molestation. What if it says the wrong thing?

What if it says that? And I guess, no, I guess you're right. No, I guess you're right because there have been death penalties carried out on someone who absolutely didn't do anything. Yeah, well, that's nothing. What if they weren't guilty? Yeah, but they would be Pat Paul Batman.

You can be operating outside the law. Because they were facing life, but they weren't guilty. Or what if they did piss by a school, but the thing accidentally confused them with another? Sure. That would suck, man. And like, you're going to talk about. You're going to have to talk to Papaw Batman about that. I'm not going to be that for another 60 years, dog. Like, you're arguing with me.

You want to have this fight with Pac-Paul Batman. I'm not that guy yet. I don't want to have this fight with you. I think the existence of this app is disgusting. Maybe if I had kids, I'd feel differently. But what I'm saying is they have to register anyways, and that register was always something you could look up. That's what the point of the register was. Now it's just an app that you look up.

the registries. I understand what you're saying, but like, it's just an extension of what already was, like registered sex offenders or registered. It was an extension

of what already was, but that's, that's the problem with, in general, with like the police state and overreach. It's always an extension of what it was.

And the next thing you know, you're going to jail because you had a bad thought because Papo Batman reported on you. Hello, this is Papo Batman. There's a child in my fucking theater.

This is now the sequel, Minority Report, meets Papal Batman. I'm in. I don't really know. So Pat Paul Batman is now murdering people for thought crimes. Exactly. And that's not right.

And again, that's not me. That's me in 60 years. Don't argue with me. Man, this got weirder than I expected when I opened with. I thought it was fine. Papal. It's just. I did love, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. You had to do it. Papal. It is funny. But like, yeah, it's just, I don't know. I just, I think it's insane that you actually believe that you could pull that on. I am going to do heroin. There's no way.

I'm also going to do heroin and pull that off. Yes, there's, listen, you can't do heroin and kill people. I'm going to say, now you're going to be all the heroin doing this? I agree with you on that. I've 100%. I've talked to Adamantly about how I've done heroin and no, you definitely, you might murder yourself. That happens a shit ton, but like, no, you ain't getting to fuck up to go kill somebody. Well, it ain't going to matter.

None of this is at all possible. The earth is going to burn up. We were supposed to talk about something. He's getting into it right now. We pulled out of the Paris Agreement. That's what I'm saying. There ain't going to be no papas. There ain't going to be no earth.

Exactly. So I'll never be able to do this. Well, I got to say, that's at the top of my list of reasons I want. Global Warming to be real. So I don't go murder people on heroin. No, I hear you.

But no, that was a bit. That was kind of a big to do this week. Well, there's so much, it's hard for me to figure out which angle to start with. So Trump pulls out, of the climate agreement

that the whole world except for Syria, Nicaragua, and us. And us are now the only people who aren't involved. Nicaragua ain't in because it ain't strong enough. Like they're like, fuck that. I ain't agreeing to that because it ain't fair because this should be stronger.

And, you know, Syria is a war-torn country. Yeah. And then there's us. Trump said it's a bad deal. It's not fair for America. The head of the EPA, Scott, whatever his name, is Scott Death Eater or whatever said, well, you know it's a bad deal for America because the rest of the world clap when we signed it.

Really? That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. Maybe, you know, just maybe. Perhaps. They were happy to see, you know, the ostensible, you know, leader of the free world country do something decent. Coming around on the fucking reality of climate change and that made them excited to see.

that happening. Right. You know, maybe that's what it was. But we were talking about last night, and I don't know, you know, this is just shit I've read on the internet,

and the internet don't know shit. Most of all, you know, me, I'm on the internet. I don't know shit. Anyway, but the thing I read said,

and I know, I know that New York already has like committed to, they're like, well, we're going to abide by the Paris agreement. Chattanooga did that too. A shitload of places.

A shitload of places having like California too. Anyway, the thing I read said like, if New York and California do it, they're like, no, those are the regulations we're abiding by. Then basically the entire country will do it because if you're in like national or international commerce of any kind in the United States of America, you can't operate without New York and California. You know what I mean? It's like not that literally nobody can, but enough companies can't that.

effectively we will and you know what that's part of like that's the argument for well not the argument for trump but what we've taught before we said before like you know maybe we'll come out the side of this other thing better off because it'll be this like come to Jesus moment for the entire country where everybody that's sane and reasonable at the end of it it just looks around I'm like well that was fucking stupid why the fuck do we do that and kind of get our shit together is what I'm saying and yeah Trump's our rock. bottom. And that's kind of what,

this is an example of that, I think, with all these cities and stuff being like, yeah, well, we're still going to do it. It's kind of like galvanizing a lot of the country in a lot of ways. And hopefully,

hopefully ultimately for the positive. The people who were already anti-certic were way more. Who gives a fuck what Solana and Sunbride are going to do environmentally. It's not what I mean. It's not what I mean. It's the cities. The cities are all that matters. It's not what I mean. I'm saying culturally.

When it comes to the environment. It's becoming us, well, it's becoming us versus them even more in terms of that shit. Like culturally, like we have a, we're just getting more and more right left. Yeah, that was not a good sound bite I just had where I said the cities are all that matters. In terms of shaping commerce. Carbon footprint and the environment and shit, the cities are what matters when it comes to that. And if the cities are saying, no, we're going to abide by it, then fuck Donald Trump. Well, he said, he said, I was elected to represent Pittsburgh, not Paris.

And Pittsburgh. And Pittsburgh said, no, we're going to abide by the part of this. Yeah, exactly. And then also Bloomberg, when I thought this was a big dick move, this is a fucking New York move. This is two New York guys because Trump's a New York guy. When you say you don't, you don't mean what a huge dick move. You mean this was a big dick move. Right.

And it was like, let me show you my dick. Right. New York style or whatever. He just ponied up the money that was part of our portion pay into the U.N. as part of the agreement. It was $15 million, is my understanding. He just wrote a damn check. He was like, oh, the U.S. ain't going to pay that $15 million?

I got it. And I feel like that's like a very New York stare-down kind of political move. You know what I mean? Like, oh, yeah, you're from Queens. I'm from Manhattan. You ain't shit to me. Yeah, this is a good fella's scene just acted out upon diplomacy, which is not good. Yeah.

But still gangster. Right. And the horse in the bed is Earth. You're right. So much to make on that note, and we don't want to get to, too far into this because who gives a shit. But, you know, Kathy Griffin had that picture, or yeah, picture holding Donald Trump's fake severed head.

Someone out there, one of our fans, make a picture for us of Donald Trump holding the earth with blood all over it. That'd be fantastic. And send it to me and Trey and Corey and Corey on Twitter. I saw this amongst the alt-right today, a bunch of people saying some variation of all these people proud that New York and California and some of these states are going to stand with the people. Paris agreement.

Oh, all of the sudden, y'all care about states' rights? Where were y'all during the Civil War? I literally, I saw like five different variations that, which is hilarious on account of they're basically saying, why didn't y'all also support slavery? Yeah. And also, California didn't exist. Right. Well, I mean, I think that's true.

They were like, you know, states should be able to do whatever they want. If a state wants to, if a state wants to agree. I feel like California became a state in like 1850. You got the always be knowing wild shit 1840. The goal rush, 49ers, 1849ers. California was definitely a thought. I'm pretty sure 1850s a year it became a stokes.

It was too far away to be in the Civil War. Technically it was in, technically it was in the union. But I mean, yeah, it didn't have much actual involvement. Well, that's anyway, how the fuck, I've been thinking about this and, you know, full disclosure, I do a bit about this. But I've been trying to feel like we just can't make a lot of right wing people give a fuck about the environment. It's kind of wild because, like, hunt.

Right. The outdoors. And to be fair, some of them do. Like, for example, my in-laws are pretty conservative people, but they're staunch environmentalists. Right. But anyway, like, you know, oftentimes it seems like it goes against what I would think. Like fucking Ted Nugent's a big hunter.

Right. Why is he not out here, you know, trying for that? Well, I mean, here's what I've come up with. We've been telling them for years, if we don't stop global warming, the coasts are going to disappear. that's what Ted Nugent wants. He fucking hates the coast. Right.

He's like, wait a minute, you're telling me that the beach is going to come to my house and the coasts are going to disappear. That hits for them. The problem, of course, is it's not that San Francisco is going to disappear. It's just going to, you know, move to goddamn Omaha. Yeah. So that's what we need to remind them of. We'll leave.

Exactly. That's what we need to remind them. I was like, hey, man, if we don't stop global warming, all of New York has to move. inland they don't want that they're gonna yeah san francisco is gonna drive their smart cars to fucking nebraska now that's what y'all got right and one of y'all is gonna accidentally ate it thinking it was corn on the cob or something a yellow smart car painted like corn on the cob would hit for me so hard i'd drive it i'd be the funniest thing ever you could you could make it pop corn

and then put little air things on it it could be a popcorn fart preas you all want to hook it up give me a fucking car a smart car drawn into a popcorn fart yeah and i would drive it for free obviously and you know give you guys you wouldn't make them pay you to have a free car Corrie? That's very good of you. I do it for complete freeness. This is going to be a good part of your legacy

as the Papal Batman. Driving a popcorn car? Yeah. That'll be my Batmobile. My Fatmobile. My Fatmobile. Y'all know about Papal Batman? He drives a popcorn part.

Yeah, he hits. I'm hoping that Elon Musk reveals he's an alien. and takes us with him to space. That would be so great. But he, you know, he quit that,

that presidential advisory council he was on when this happened. When we pulled out of the Paris Agreement, whatever, Elon Musk said. Which checks out. It totally checks out. But I think, I think it have always stopped it.

As a species, our destiny is among the stars. For sure. So, like, I've never doubt of that a day in my life. I think that, is it with like the caveat,

if we are to continue. Yeah, you really believe that is our actual destiny that it's going to happen. I don't know how much I believe in like actual destiny

or whatever. Do I believe it's going to happen? Yes, I do. I don't know that it'll be like a massive exit. What do I think is going to happen? I don't think. So what's your explanation

of the Fermi paradox? May we destroy this planet? Maybe. But we will, and that will suck. And I hope that don't happen. That don't hit. Strong Earth don't hit.

No. But I honestly believe that if that, if that does happen, we will leave. We'll get off of us. So what's your explanation? I mean, yeah, maybe even just to the moon or Mars or whatever, which is my answer to that. The Fermi paradox, you're saying, like, if civilizations were able to get to a certain level of sophistication, then why don't we know about them?

Why haven't we seen any of them literally ever? What kind of sense does that make if it was because the universe is infinite and also 15 billion years old. So that would mean there would be almost infinite number, a very huge number of these civilizations that had reached that point. If that was a civilization's destiny, how come we don't know anything about them? I'm saying, even if it, for us, for mankind specifically, even if it just is, like I said, to the moon or Mars or whatever, at least initially, I think that will happen.

We could have a moon colony right now if we wanted to put the money at least. sources into it. And that night went hit. Mars into a prison colony. And I would have to kill nobody. Before that, like, I want my brother is in prison. It would hit for me if he went to Mars because

you know, right now, at least for the next decade, the best he could hope for is like being the top of the cigarette game. But he can go Mars and be the goddamn president. Yeah. Of Mars. That hit. That would hit so hard. King of Mars. So if Mars just became like the solar system

is Australia. Yeah. A few more millennia. Yeah. It would be cool. Yeah, Martians. They party the hardest. To hard. It was fun. Did you see that thing going around with that little boy?

It's wild. He's like four. Eh, six. Talking about how he's a Martian and there's people on Mars that live underground and all this other wild shit. I mean, obviously, someone fed him this, but he's so good. It's really, really creepy. Fuck. Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry about that. No, I haven't seen that. The most prolific elderly serial killer of our time. Right here. Yeah. In the flesh. Yeah. Y'all don't know shit.

I hope that lady that keeps tweeting at me because she says I use prolific wrong when I mean prolific. She thinks I mean profound. You hope I kill her first. Oh, no, I was going to say, I hope she tweets it. Hey, Lord, no. Well, what? That was in the vein. I didn't know.

In the vein. It was like the heroin. A hair man will be done. Damn right. Mainline on that shit. You think there'll be better heroin in the future? For sure. we're going to figure out global warming or are we fucked?

Because here's the thing, I don't think it'll kill us all. I think we will figure out. I don't think it'll kill us all, period. But there's going to be some damage done. Yeah. Well, I mean, there already is, but like, yeah, it'll get bad. Well, the way I see it is the earth has a problem and we're it. So it's going to take care of us.

I mean, one way or the other. I just, I look at this as a speed bump. And because in the speed ball. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A speed bump, because I, feel like, you know, Obama in all his progressive glory made a lot of leaps and bounds in

his administration. And yeah, Trump's going to pause or maybe set us back. I know what years is a goddamn long time, especially. Fuck you. It'll be four. I hope. I genuinely hope. I believe. Because I think a lot of people

who didn't vote are going to come out. But I don't know who they're going to vote for. Once I see the fucking candidate, I'll have this conversation with you. But as of right now, it's eight to me. I don't know. People are still very excited and it's disgusting, but they are.

The Democrats on the left last time thought that they could sit home because there was no way he was going to win. And so they did because they didn't like Hillary. Now they know that he can win. It almost don't matter who the candidate is. As far as the people on the left, the people on the left will fucking come vote. It cannot be worse than Donald Trump. Sure. Okay.

I hear what you're saying. I also think most it's objectively different. That's what happened. I've been burned, is what I'm saying. Yeah. There's no fucking way.

I felt the burn too. There's no way he was going to win the fucking primary. There's no way he was going to get in here. There's no way he's going to get fucking out. I understand what you're saying, what I'm saying is we said the same fucking thing. We go, there's no goddamn way.

Even he's going to get Hillary. There's no fucking one to do with him winning the primary. They didn't think he was going to win, but that's not something they vote for. So in their mind, it was like these crazy motherfuckers actually nominated this guy. but they still didn't believe he would actually win the whole thing. The whole primary deal, not believing his rise up through it, has got nothing to do.

Buddy, you're not having to convince me. Do I want that to happen? I want that to be the case. Yes, but you clearly are like that. I'm saying, let me see a fucking candidate first, just because right now I'm fucking still shell-shocks, I guess. You're hedging your emotional bet. Corey don't want to get his heartbroken again, Trey. It's not even, it's just like, dude, nothing fucking makes sense at all.

Learn to love democracy again. Nothing. Well, just nothing. I don't, whatever, nothing makes sense. I'm not going to, I told you that motherfucker was going to win before the election. We're fucking like October. I was like, I got it. I know it.

The people on the right, though, were at that time, I don't know. You don't have to tell it anymore. I hear what you're saying. You're not wrong. I want to believe it. What I'm saying is, still, I don't know what's going to fucking happen because I've, my head's just, I've got a concussion. I don't know what's up, what's down. You got your political bell wrong.

I did. You got the Liberty Bill got cracked. So I don't know, man. What's going to happen? There's four years ago. What's going to happen? Come January, 2000. Are we going to go to war?

Come January 22nd, 2021, Donald Trump will not be the president of the United States. What I'm telling you is, though, in incumbents. No way. A lot of times when there's a war, even if there's a dumb motherfucker in office, and we're looking at war. Jimmy Carter lost. Donald Trump will lose.

I hope, and I, Big Bush lost. I hope. And I, George H.W. Bush lost. Is that true? Yeah, he was only one turn. Slick Willie. That's what we need.

We need a slick Willie Clinton candidate. Incomits are heavy favorites, but dude. If H.W. Bush can get beat. If Jimmy Carter can get beat. Fucking Donald Trump. Of course, of course. Incomvents are heavy favorites, but also presidents that go through a war that is literally what makes them.

And I'm saying it'll make them great, but I'm saying it can jump them up some points, and it's looking like we may eventually go to God, damn war with him. So what if right at the tail end, we go to war, he does something that's just marginally okay for everybody. And we go, hey, man, maybe we're in a bad spot. He's right about that.

Just to get enough. And I'm talking about baseline, just to get enough just because of the coming to get in. What I'm telling you is every point you're making is 100% correct. What I'm saying is we don't live in a world where correct matters anymore, so I don't care. And I'm not going to know. please stop talking because i think you're right okay well it's not him for me but i'm not stupid well i never thought that well i'm stupid but not in this instance you think you could kill people

as a pat-ball 100% kill people's a pat-ball all the people that were 18 years old and were burning bros and said fuck it and didn't vote because of the reasons already said they're going to be 22 they're going to be hell they'll know even more of everything now but they'll be 22 this time they some of them they will graduate college and work for their dad

and they're not going to give a fuck about the war because here's the thing but they will give a fuck if it's a neoliberal

hawk again they'll do it again they'll go third part and they're in 22 they're going to understand tax cuts more and be a fucking dick because it's easy

to be a goddamn Bernie bro when you're 17 and you've got a fucking fallback and it's fine you don't know what's fucking socialism

is because you don't know still follow up your whole goddamn life. That shit does not... That's not true of all socialists either. Also, I know, but I'm... Also, that shit, what you're talking about, that doesn't happen until like 32, man.

If you're a Bernie bro at 19, you're still going to be on the left at 22. Probably. Probably. No, you are. Yeah, man, that's where all the good parties is. I'm just saying. I'm just saying that some of them... You don't do that until you get a job randomly

at some big investment firm, and then you're there for a while. I'm saying there's a lot of them... And you're hitting, and now that's when you become... I'm just saying a lot of them I feel like get out of college and go work with their dads. Man, you're ornering tonight. I'm not ornering. I'm just telling you what to, I mean, this is what I saw in the last one of them.

All the old shitty assholes in four years from now, you know, a lot of them will be dead. And that's great. And y'all, trust me, I'm not not on your side. I want all what you're saying to be true. I just fucking, you got to show me. Anybody that's got a dad, they can go work for at 22 right out of college that would then turn them into a Trump support. order was in the fucking young Republicans group at their college. We've all known some way to change.

You can change, I'm saying, but you don't not just not at that age. That's a huge. That's a very minuscule amount of people. I think the bigger danger or worry is there are people in the left who are disaffected who felt very unrepresented by the DNC and Clinton machine. and my question is will they how many of them

will vote for just anyone and then here's my other fear if we appease them and give them a socialist type candidate well then how many moderates are going to be like you know the economy's okay if a large group of people on the left for either one of those reasons for whatever reason

if a large group of people on the left stay home again after four years of Donald Trump then fuck them like I said fuck them that dude there's you're not wrong some people do it yes will it be the epidemic it was this past election there's no way there's no way because so many of those people are going to be like this really sucks that was a huge fucking mistake yeah but a lot of them are not going to do it again

i agree but a lot of them are chomping at the bit right now because they're going oh my god this is our opportunity it failed that guy won now's our chance we're going to get our guy we're going to get elizabeth warren or is someone even you know further left like a true socialist in here. And if they don't get that, are they going to be mad? And if they do get that, then what?

I am very nervous because we have, we had said that Donald Trump was going to destroy the Republican Party. What if he destroys the Democrats? I don't know. I don't know what else to say other than, I feel more importantly, he going to destroy the earth.

I just feel like y'all, and obviously I know there are still people who have Trump's back, but like, he'll lose a lot of support too, I think. He'll lose a lot of support on the right, even. I mean, fuck,

he already has. has. Yeah, you're right. That will continue. That's true. And then the left will come out in favor of it. And so, and what I'm saying is, y'all are acting like Trump hasn't been just an absolute abject fucking disaster. No, I'm not.

Well, only the most hardcore Trump etiots are going to be, and there's still a lot of those people. I think he's, I think, but only, only of those people will still be in his corner like they were in four years. And I think a lot of loyal to you. That's not enough to win an election. I also believe. a lot of loyalty type Republicans, unless we run a literal socialist, who voted for him just,

all right, well, I'll vote right wing, but I'm not really excited about Trump. We'll stay home this time. That's not, I don't know other, I don't know how to say

what I'm trying to get across other than this is literally just because I think we're living in the goddamn matrix. It's literally all I'm saying. I, like, dude, none of this.

Donald Trump is the fucking president. Can we, we fly. Like in the Matrix? Yeah, we could fly. That'd be great. What I'm saying is nothing makes sense to me. And I don't, this dude, this six months of his presidency or five months, excuse me, has already

been, like every fucking day, something insane. We got at least another fucking three years and six months. I don't know what the fuck's going to happen is what I'm saying. You've made me depressed and I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to go to bed now. Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen. But what I do know is our guest is, our guest is wait, a loveless singer-songwriter

musician from Ohio was just a peach. I didn't what they called in Ohio. Dude, so funny. She was so fucking funny. She was killing me the entire time. And she was not a comedian at all,

but God, she was so funny. And I was going to say, like, if we, which we are, you know, I want to talk about our music and shit, but like, if you didn't say that, if we just didn't introduce her as this, everybody goes, oh, she's a comedian, where can I see her at?

She's fantastic. She was very April Ludgatey, which really hits for me. Yeah, it does it a sincere way. And she had on a coonskin cap, which hit for me. Uh-huh. Yeah, so, yeah, she was awesome. So please enjoy this conversation with Lydia Love us,

and as long as the world don't end, come back and see us next week. Shee! Papo! Popcorn part. I like how I'm talking into this while you even need to right now. Yeah. That's how we're going to start.

That's how we're going to start, because that was that. Awesome. You nailed it. Well, thanks for joining us, Lydia. Yeah. I wanted to ask you just right off the back, because I can't, I can't think about anything else until I ask you about us. You have a pretty large tattoo on your right arm of the elephant man.

Yeah. And I'm assuming most people know who the elephant man is, but if you don't, Google it. You better Google somebody. So can you tell us what that's about? Yeah. Yeah, well, for one thing, it's really funny that it is this gigantic, because when I first thought up getting it, I asked the girl if she would do it, and she was kind of not doing commissions anymore, but she was like, no, that sounds awesome. And I was picturing, like, something like this big. She was like, I have a nice half-sleeve grown up.

I was like, cool. For those listening, his head starts at her shoulder, and it goes down to her elbow. Yeah, it's half-sleeve. Yeah. She has what I would describe as a normally long arm. it's quite normal yeah I mean I was when I was a kid I would take naps

and for whatever reason watched this movie the Elephant Man a lot yeah it was on TV a lot right yeah and my parents were weird wasn't share in it was it a share no that's a mask you're right you write that's it's about

it's a guy like they're similarly they're similarly you know beautiful women surround the elephant man. Actually, I just heard a funny joke about that, but I don't know. I'm not going to go on a tangent. Sorry, I'm really sleep deprived. Please go on a tangent.

We encourage it. We stay on tangents. Well, I can't remember the source of the joke, so it would be really stupid. But basically, it was talking about how weird dudes get laid, and someone was like, the elephant man got laid a lot, and the girl was horrified and whatever show that was. But he did. Yeah. I would imagine he probably did, because he was a really,

nice guy and probably very troubled which is way sexier than like any I know guys are always like women just love money but it's like no if you have like issues so I imagine the elephant man had shit loads of issues that's wild because uh turns out most men

I know are also into that do you think it might have something to do with that the whole Florence Nightingale syndrome is that what yeah did they mention that? Because that's Florence Nightingale syndrome is where a caregiver ends up being attracted to the person they're giving care to. It's similar.

It's what happened to Marty McFly and his mama in back to the future. True. That is the source of my knowledge on that. Well, it's backwards, though, right? Well, he got hit by a car and she had to take care of him and then she ends up. I mean, which also he was dreamy, so that one doesn't really count. But that's... He wasn't an elephant man?

He wasn't the elephant man. I was speaking of. So you used to take naps to that movie? To that movie. And I guess, um... I don't know. Whenever, like, I love this tattoo and I'm totally fine with talking about it. It's just whenever I try to explain it, I sound so basic.

Like, well, my tattoo and like how I feel about looks and, you know, how they're not important and stuff. I don't know. It just, it really tickled my, my compassion bone. That sounds disgusting. But, um. No, it doesn't. It's disgusting to be compassionate. Yeah.

No. But anyway, I watched it again recently and I was, I was reading a lot about him at the time. Well, it's not recently. it's been like three years and I was like I'm going to get a fucking tattoo of that because I bet nobody has one and then I immediately met someone who had one but yeah that's the way it goes and how did that person respond to that how did that go he was in tears it's very cool um because like also a very emotional person so in tears like moved because you obviously had the same kind of feeling like how could someone relate to that so much right

Okay. I thought you meant jealous. I did not like she didn't claw my face ever. Right. Yeah. I thought you meant like angry tears or something because, you know, someone, you know, like, you're wearing the same thing. Someone is going to have to change. Yeah, that would be the right word. How many tattoos you've got? Like five or six. I don't know. I have like some stick and poke. So you think you're going to end up. I don't know if those count covered up in them eventually.

I don't think so. And so, yeah, it, I mean, it can be if you, for one thing, I don't think I could afford that ever. Until I make some sort of weird decision musically. Right. I don't know. I like, I either like getting really stupid, silly tattoos or really meaningful ones. Like, it's, it's funny, I have like a lime green, home-done Kesha tattoo, and then I have, like, a really well done portrait.

I bet you've got some super cool fans that would probably, that are tattoo artists that would probably do it if you shouted them out on Twitter. Yeah, probably. So this is something we've talked about before. Growing up in the South, especially like the time period that I grew up was like the 80s. Like I had uncles who would have like, you know, kind of gnarly tattoos. And then like there's like blue tattoos.

Right. And then there's like my mom and that type of side of where I'm from. Like she's a church lady and all that. Like I remember one time someone came over the house looking for my brother and she He was like, you got a car with all his tattoos looking like a convict. And my brother had three. And he just, like, looked at his arm and looked at my mom. Tattoos used to be how, at least from where I'm from, you know, people would kind of tell the world, I don't give a fuck or whatever.

Like, you're in a band. You just shut up our hotel in a Coons Kid Cap, which hits for me. But like, now in New York, it's ubiquitous. It means you give all the fucks. Right. This is how much of a fuck I give. People are so well curated now, because I grew up in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't the South.

It was Midwestern hell. Somewhere in Ohio, right? Yeah, because Shockton. It's funny because I got made fun of so badly and called a got got made fun of so badly and called a goth. Because kids, if you just wear anything, they think you're a goth out there. It's like, I don't know. I don't think you know what you're talking about.

But just like weird makeup or dyed hair or anything different. Anything different. And it's so funny because now you look everywhere. It's like Instagram is just full of bitches with purple lipstick and sparkly pink eyes and gray hair. And I'm just like, what has happened? I don't even want to do this anymore. I was going to say, does it bother you or do you not care? It shouldn't bother me.

And it really doesn't. It's just unsettling the exact same people who were giving me so much shit. Like even in the big city of Columbus, like, you know, I'd get made fun of for wearing, like, cowboy boots. And now you can buy those at Target. And that's the one that's been bothering me It's like the boots and the trucker hats I got a joke where I'm like You know what we used to call those?

Fucking hats Those are just hats you assholes Yeah we've talked a lot about how like And it's really true if you notice Like at least for males Hipsters a lot of things that people associate with hipsters now Are also like Country Boy shit

Like the dudes I grew up like yeah like boots And you know flannel or plaid or you know And like your mustache's trucker caps beard all all this stuff yeah and all those things i like all those things yeah but like you said i shouldn't care but like i don't want to look like a hipster because i don't i you know i don't feel that way i don't know if i hate people who um kind of appropriate that or people who are constantly bitching about people taking their how could they take my mustache i'll wear trucker hats and have a mustache but i'm very lucky in that i'm also fat so that's not that's not

hipster it all around. You also wear mom jeans. Yeah, exactly. So you grew up in the middle of nowhere in Ohio. And anything I bring up, like, as far as like from your past is from Wikipedia. And I know how Wikipedia works. So it could be totally wrong. But according to Wikipedia, you grew up on a farm.

I did. Like an operational farm or like, yeah, we got a barn we get drunk in. No, I mean, yeah, it wasn't like factory. farm but it was like a beef farm there were horses we had goats that i don't know why we had goats other than because they were cute and uh right like lots of like a huge garden crops things like that so big family yeah um i have three siblings how far from columbus uh probably like an hour and a half drive is that is that part of why you're here well i should ask first is Columbus a good place to be a musician and launch a career or try to do that for

I mean, I made it work. Yeah. I'm doing pretty okay. Yeah. It's kind of a shittier place to not be a successful musician. Like, as far as like it's very, I feel like it's very clicky these days, which is kind of part of why I'm moving. And I don't want to like put the smack talk on Columbus, but like, it's just, it's kind

of changed a lot over the years. Right. But being like a 14 year old. girl who was in a band with my sisters and my dad and being like, can we book a show here? That wasn't the easiest thing in the world. What kind of stuff were y'all doing? Back then it was like popier, like indie or kind of stuff than what I do now. Okay.

Yeah. And you couldn't get booked here? Not for a while. It was kind of weird just because, I don't know. I'm sure we looked like tiny children for one thing because I was like 14. so yeah it was kind of rough for a while do you this proximity to your family though is that part of why you're still here is it just it just where you moved and start it um proximity to just like ease of touring is a big reason um that makes sense the fact that i'm a really discontented asshole person

and can't see myself being happy so i just put it off for so long like moving pre it's like where will i find happiness who gives a shit but now it's just So many of us, I'm one of us as well, end up in New York if we're artistically driven at all because it's like we've been fed our whole lives I was in the South, like, well, that's where you go to make it in comedy or music or whatever. It's just like, if you're good, you'll make it there kind of thing. I think it's pretty true. There's no evidence that moving away does not benefit you in like tons of ways, too.

To me, it's just, I just need some personal growth right now and I'm getting divorced and I just, I don't want to go to the bar and see people who think I'm a two-bit hooker because I'm leaving my husband or whatever. You know, like I'm just over it. Right. Yeah, that makes sense. So it's not so much, it's not really a career thing so much as it's just you need a change of. For me, the thing that's always the most important to me is like writing good songs. And I don't.

And I can tell that I'm not really going to get that much more creative juice out of Columbus. Well, we, I recently had this conversation with, uh, the guys in the drive-by truckers who would be kind of like friends of ours. And they all, none of them live, you know, one lives in Portland, another one lives in Birmingham, and another guy lives in Oxford, Mississippi. And I was asking him that quick, because I said, you know, like as a comedian, you pretty much, like, it's New York, Los Angeles,

or just don't even do it, you know, or not don't do it. You know, you can start wherever, but eventually you're going to end up one of those two places, no matter what, is how, you know, it's how. that's the common logic. And I said, you know, for a musician, is that not really the case?

Because I mean, obviously, the trucker's been around forever. They're very successful, well-known band, and they're all, you know, displaced in these sort of

random places like that. And they were saying, you know, at least to them, it's not as true for a music. Like, if you're a touring musician, you can kind of be,

you know, anywhere. And, like, if you're not wanting to do, like, TV or film type stuff or whatever, that it doesn't necessarily matter. Yeah. But for me, it's like, I'm not, I don't want to be naive and be like, I'll just make my songs for the rest of my life. That'll be good enough. Like I do, I definitely have thought about LA a lot just because there's access to more opportunity to write for other people, which is something I've been interested in lately. And it's like, no one's in Columbus. Like, let's set up a meeting to write for, you know, the next big thing. So there is a lot. I don't think it's that you have to be there as a

musician, but there are more opportunities and different opportunities. But I think you get to have a little more leeway as a musician. Like, if people picture you, like, floating down the river on your boat instead of, like, being in L.A. or New York or something, I think you can get away with a little more. But my priorities have changed a lot since I started playing. So I do feel sometimes like going there. I buy into that as a fan. I'm a big music fan. And, like, when I, and it's hypocritical, because I live in New York. But like, if I go into a band's background and they're still in Asheville or, you know what I mean? They move, but they move to Athens or whatever.

I'm like, fuck yeah. You know, if they didn't sell out and go to New York. And then I'm like, like I did, wait, why would I assume that's selling out? Like, everybody wants to be successful, but that's sort of how I feel. But the thing you're talking about, floating down a river in a boat, I mean, that affects me. Yeah. You run into them at Whole Foods with their plaid tote or whatever. right

well since you kind of just brought it up drew um as far as the notion of selling out you mentioned earlier make kind of an offhand comment I asked you about tattoos and you said well I don't think I'd be able to afford that unless I make uh you know kind of a weird decision musically and what I'm assuming you mean is like setting out to do like more mainstream accessible type music that you know was like more commercially viable. Yeah. But I'm assuming here,

isn't what interests you as much artistically or like, yeah, it doesn't appeal to you. Is that something you struggle with internally or lot? Are you pretty hard-in? I definitely have mixed feelings about that. For one thing, I hate people who use the term sell out.

Right. Unless they have to, like, for lack of a better term, let's talk about selling it. Right. Because there are people who think I have sold out because I, like, put a keyboard on my last record or something. Well, fuck all that.

whatever. And it's like, well, I still live in the same shitty apartment. You know, it's just people are so, well, well, I mean, people who aren't in any sort of creative business don't know what they're talking about. So there's that. So they literally just have no concept of of what that's like. But I do, I do like mainstream music. You know, I love pop music. I'd like, I'd like to somehow, I wouldn't want to incorporate that into my music, but I would love to write pop music. with people or work on something like that. But I don't know. I also just struggle with this really skewed attitude and outlook on life

that makes it really hard for me to sort of leave my nook, I guess. You mean like misery? Yeah. Like cynicism? Yeah. And mixed with like some sort of fetishizing of integrity. True. Yeah.

And as much as I want, oh, I used to be so much worse when I was a kid. Like, but. Well, it's healthy then. At least I've gotten better. But it's still, I still cling to that like, I don't know. I don't really, I don't want to be a happy person. Do you find yourself? That's boring.

Do you find yourself getting less cynical or more cynical the farther into your career that you get? Jesus. It's both because like, as a human, I find myself like branching out more and like, what if a relationship could work and not be misery? And it's like, nope. There's like a Cheeto eating fat dude And my brain going like Don't do it Don't try to be happy

But like I don't know It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately Like what if you could have a kid And it turned out okay Like nope It's never gonna happen Do you watch Bojack Horseman

I don't? I really should You really should You're echoing a lot of the themes On that show We're comedians And we're comedians And we're cliche

For comedians to be that way, but like a lot of us are, and we talk about the three of us talk about that kind of shit a lot. Like, I've said before, like, you know, man, like, part of me thinks, like, I'm just never really going to be, like, happy or satisfied, but, like,

maybe I'm not supposed to, you know? Like, yeah. Because that's, you know, because comedy comes from misery. Like, I'll be, the world sucks up all my happiness. It's for them. I go home an empty shell, man. Yeah. But,

but then the other, and then almost immediately, I'm like, man, that's not fucking healthy. Like, that's not the way you should feel. No, no, no, no. You can do both. Right. And when I look at other people who are like, you know, people I know and have known for a long time who are like getting on in years, if you will, it's like,

when are you just going to try and be happy and start taking care of yourself? And I'm like, well, when am I going to do that? I don't know. Yeah, that's kind of why I said. I've been flirting with the whole, for the last year. I said, you know, I think it's possible for me to be an artist. artist and happy at the same time. Yeah.

I'm trying to figure it out because you always think, well, if I'm happy, I'll be less funny. Or in your case, I won't write as good of a song or something like that. So, yeah, that's part of it. That's part of the struggle as well. Yeah. And I think part of it is not wanting to appear to be an asshole. Yeah.

He was, like, told people their whole life like, marriage is a sham. People suck. Fuck everything. Getting a real job is to. Did you audition for April Ludgate on Parks and Rec? Totally good. You should have.

It was funny. my friend recently was like did you know they made a Daria movie and in my excitement I was like oh really and she was like why you missed your chance to fucking audition for it but yeah the like you the whole notion of like selling out or whatever I you can't win with that shit in my experience because like people in like my hometown I grew up in a tiny little redneck town you know in Tennessee and people in my hometown they think that I've like sold out already as in like I'm selling my people out like exploiting them or something

which I just don't make as fair or accurate at all but then the fans that I gained from that when I sold this pitch for a network sitcom to Fox specifically a lot of them were like wow really you're going to go to Fox Tray like you know like I was because you know Fox News or whatever two completely different entities first of all, secondly.

And so it's just like you're never going to not get that. And like you said, like people think you sold out because you put a keyboard on you. Right. That's never going to not be so fuck it. Yeah. People also don't know the, and this is not a

cry for like acknowledgement of the hard work I put in, but people don't really know the phases that you go through when you're doing something creative because you do it for so, like I've been playing music for 13 years and it's like, I think I have have a right to just put out a fucking record that doesn't sound like, darn,

don't know, I'm so mad at you today. Like, I don't know. I'm fucking ready to do it. And like, and it's funny when you said that, you know, people might think you're like selling out your people because there is so much like lazy country comedy like,

look at these people not wearing shoes or whatever. Like, there's so much more subtity and nuance to, yeah, to how you can do that. That's the irony of it. Like, people in my hometown,

you know, they see us on the view or whatever. and like for the most part it was supportive but like you know the people a lot of people like we were trying to pretend this or that and i'm like i know you like larry the cable guy and that's fine he's a funny comedian like he is good at comedy he knows how to set up punch set up punch but if your complaint is that i or we are selling a people out like that's the dude who you should be mad at that's the guy that is actually taking advantage of right whatever typical redneck thing you know Yeah. But it's interesting that you have fans, which is like, I assume, part of the goal, so you can, you know, have this career. Yeah, I like to pay my bills.

Right. It's a goal for me. I want fans, but I don't want to, you know, maybe you're so hardcore Dari. You're like, fuck fans. But then you get them. And it's like they, oh, I say it all the time. Not in general, just specific fans.

Some fans. But then they want to, like dick to almost dictate like you're you're basically i think you're alluding to people being upset that you weren't like your last album yeah i think they want to curate this thing that is has never existed in life no one's ever had a musician they were completely satisfied with every i almost said sassified something's wrong with me today but um satisfied with everything they did and like and i don't think anyone should have that like you don't dictate what other people do and it's really strange and it's like for me it is in a similar vein like i don't want to

you know, maybe like 15 years ago I was living on a farm, but you know, I haven't fucking touched a plant in 10 years, so why would I write a fucking record about how country I am? And it's also like,

it's become this really bad like Sucker MC's ain't got shit seen in the country scene where it's like, I'm more country, I'm real country. And it's like, I don't really even know what that means. Like, what does that fucking mean? We had that discussion. We were We were talking about how bro country and like shitty pop country, how even though it sucked,

it created this world of this like almost rebellious kind of punk rock country. Yeah. But that became commercially viable. And now that is the new. But now there are people winning Grammys that are just like, I'm so mad. And it's like, why? You just want a Grammy. Right.

She goes smile. I don't know. And I'm not trying to call anyone specifically out. This has just been a period for like five years now where people have seen a lot of success with something that they want to call outlaw. and it's like it's not. Like you can, you have to do something

really fucked up then. Like, let me, be a goddamn outlaw. Give me the reins. I'll do something really fucked up there. No, I don't know. But,

and it's, if you don't want to throw your career down the shitter to be an outlaw, then that's your choice and that's fine. But it's weird to like go on with this like, we're on the outside thing. And it's not really real anymore. So it's like,

just enjoy it. Sometimes I do want to listen to a song about drinking in a pickup. I don't know. Sometimes it's fun. Oh, there's plenty of good one. Yeah. Name four.

I'm just being me. They say ragged old truck by Billy Joe Shavers is one of my favorites. You heard that one? Billy Joe, that don't... You just said name one and then I named one. You're like, well, that don't count. I thought he were talking about, like, pop.

I guess I was thinking Maine. Oh, no, no, no, I meant. There actually are good songs about getting drunk and pickups, but now there's way too many. But back in the day, there was actually really good ones. Well, a lot of it is like a commercial now, but... Yeah. But yeah, there's, I don't know.

And they're also, like, we were in a Walgreens in Indianapolis the other day. And there was music playing, but, you know, it's like you can sort of barely hear it. And so I was just picking up, but it was like radio country. I don't know who it was. I don't know what song it was. I was just picking up a line here and there. And I swear to God, it was like it had been, like, spit out by this, like, you know, country hit riding machine. It was like, you know, something about.

driving through a cornfield, dust on the windshield. You know, I want you to be my baby and whatever. And just that kind of stuff. Like, and it was just, it just cracked me up. Like, I just started laughing because of how just straight down the fairway. Like, it's become like a literal formula or something that they have. I think it's going to rate itself out of existence, luckily.

But what will replace it and will outlaw country? be just formulate. That's what I think will happen. Maybe because it's not like it hasn't happened before. Like country music wasn't always fucking silly. Like people are like,

look at these silly motherfuckers with their glitter and their cowboy hats. Like that's what it's always been. Like it's fucking ridiculous. Yeah. Like it's just silliness. And like,

leisure suits. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are emotional. Some are fucking Bucholins. Porter Wagner I look like a Vegas.

You know. I'm very interested in this side of you collaborating with people. That's something that's in comedy, like on shows it's a thing. It's rarely a thing with stand-up because it's a big thing in stand-up now that you write your own jokes. It's been that way for quite a few years.

Amy Schumer has some writers and admits it, but for the most part, she does it herself. Well, I think the way a lot of, what you hear is there's a whole lot of, like, big-time pros that have been comics for a really long time that do have writers, but it's like they're They're ghost writers. Right. Yeah. So they're like, right. And I mean, they pay them, you know.

And like that movie, funny people, that was, you know, that's what Rogan, Seth Rogan did in that movie was he was a writer for Adam Salern's character. Like, it's definitely a thing. But the reason they're ghost writers that people don't talk about, whereas, like, in music you get like song, right, you know, especially in country. People, most of the popular country artists are doing songs that were written for them by somebody else. And everybody knows that. Yeah. In comedy, though, people do do that. but you got to like lie about it because it's like, you know,

you have to write your own jokes, which I mean, I agree with. Yeah. But I asked because I think it sounds fun, but other than on TV shows, like a scripted TV show, it doesn't really exist or you lie about it in comedy.

Why are you interested in that? I mean, for me it sounds like fun because I want to go write jokes for Maria Bamford, who is so different for me and I can't do what she does. I guess for me it's because it sounds fucking terrifying. Like the idea of going in a room with someone, and who starts, who, you know, I guess there's different formats.

You know, you can go in with someone who's a singer that doesn't really write anything, and they're like, well, you know, I'm going through this rally by break off. My boyfriend's talking about Texas, and you're like, he dumped me through a text. I don't know. Like, there's, I guess there's different ways of doing it. Or you can, you know, just have your own songs and someone's drunk at the bar when. And they're like, I like, I like that song over there. Can I have that one?

Like, this has literally happened to friends of mine. like where they're playing at the bar and a country singer will be like, I want that song. And then they're like whisked away. I don't know. Yeah. That sounds kind of exciting now.

Comics, there's been, Ron White, I've heard stories of doing that exact thing. But you don't get the credit for it. No, they bought it. You get money.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's it. That's the end of it. Yeah. Now it's your joke. If you did that, not only would you get money,

I would assume, if that's what you're wanting to do, your name would be on it and then other people would be like damn she's a good songwriter I might want to work with her right and it's like um and I don't know

which format would be the best for me to work in but I don't really like giving away songs that I've spent time on but I can definitely I think it would be really fun to like work with someone who doesn't really write their own songs

I think that would be really fun I saw I went down the internet rabbit hole recently and I ended up on a Skrillix video I don't know how and he was doing an interview with Katie Kirk I didn't know anything about him other than I've seen him fucked up at Bonner once. Right. Well, that was my assumption.

I really liked him in the interview. I was mad at how much I liked him as a person. He was talking about old people making fun of it and how old people made fun of the Beatles. And he's fine with that and he really doesn't care. It was like really interesting. And then the next video, I went through the whole thing. I liked him. And the next video was a video about him and Diplo doing a song with Justin Bieber.

Sorry. Is that what it's called? Yeah. It's coming out this week, man. I covered it. So it's... Scrillix did the sorry thing with Bieber? Yeah.

See, I like Bieber, though. That song was all right, I love me. So Bieber sent them a track. He met him at a party, and he was like, we should work together. And you can tell in the video that Diplo and Skrilo's like, yeah, sure. Or Diplo was like, sure. He sent them the vocals. I make fun of Bieber sometimes on stage when I do bits about music.

But like, I think that's fucking kind of brave. That this like pop-tart star goes up to this producer and this guy, Skrillix, who's supposed to be the anti-every thing Beaver is to a certain extent. And it's like, listen to this and tell me if you want to work. And then they did. When Scrokes was talking about how some of his alleged fans, and that's what he called them, like turned on him. And he was like, well, fuck y'all.

Like, I'd want to. It was scary for me to do something with Bieber because of, that's why I wanted to do it. That is a creative job. I thought that was so fucking interesting. What do you think the response would be to you starting to do that kind of stuff, too, like you're from your existing fans? Because this got brought up among us before with people. like Jamie Johnson for example

who I'm a huge fan of and he wrote like honky talk but don't a don'tcadonk and some other like songs like that some songs were not fans of I always says as a country music fan or as a music fan in general like that I don't that's never bothered

me even a little bit like him and Chris Stapleton too like paid their bills you know writing these mega hits for these other people and then they put their own records out you know with like that's what they actually want to do or whatever and I've never had any problem separating the two personally but

it gets brought up a lot because people will be like I just grosses me out that he wrote that song or whatever how do you think that would go and I'm not saying that you would write the equivalent of honky-tombedonka dog you know but I'm saying like if you if you did start trying to do this like if you were collaborating with like you know I think some people would freak out but I think I lost those people a long time ago like there have been people who have been saying like I lost my edge for like so many years and it's like I feel pretty edgy today. I don't know. I don't know. It's it sucks because it's like I think as a creative person I'm just always trying to find something different to do and I really hate being bored and like I could just sit around and make the same record for years and keep certain people happy and probably make a decent living. But it's like I don't want to do that. I want to stretch out my wings and I don't know try something different sometimes. Yeah.

And I just like songs. Like I like melody and playing with words. And maybe I wouldn't write honky tonk but don'tcadong. But, you know, if I wrote some super mainstream sappy romance song, I'd be fine with that. Right. The tail of the girl in the coonskin cap and Elsa man falling in love. I'd be into that. Fuck, yeah.

Like, I've went through some of that again with the idea of having like a network sitcom. And by the way, I'm not at all conflicted. on it like I want to get my show made and hope it's on the air and I make no bones about really really wanting that but to a lot of comics that's like that's sort of the comedy equivalence of that you know it's having like a big broadcast network sitcom because it's like there people think of like Big Bang Theory and stuff like that like very like generic vanilla like humor or whatever but the idea well first of all also you know for every one of those there's also like, you know,

modern family or Seinfeld and all these other that were genuinely awesome shows. Arrested development. Right. Great example. Yeah. And so,

you know, A, that, B, the idea of doing that kind of thing, but hopefully doing it like well. Yeah. Also just excites me like as a comedian.

You know what I mean? As I would think like the idea of writing like a truly awesome pop song, you know. would. Yeah, I mean, that's like a dream for, if I were a comedian, that's a stupid thing to say. That would be amazing. Well, it was like Jamie Johnson and in color.

That's a massive, huge country pop song that was fucking awesome. Like, it is popular for a reason. It's absolutely great. The three of us cried in the car the other day when it came on. It came on and we, boohoo. We looked around and realized that we were all crying. Oh, man. It was like, when I was like fifth day on the road, you're out of endorphins.

You've drank too much. You know what? You're just driving through this. Where were we? Mill of nowhere. We were. Arkansas, right? Yeah, we were heading to Arkansas.

We were from Mississippi. Violently stoned. And that song came on. Yeah. Yeah. And that song came on. And yeah, it destroyed us. That'll always do it.

Do you like the road? Being on the road? Okay, sorry. Again, with the sleep, I was like, the song, the road. My Cormack McCartee. What are you? road. Let's talk about the movie adaptation. Talk about sellouts.

Get the fuck out. Actually, I was just thinking about this today because I've been traveling so much by like playing and not really playing a lot of shows and I'm like, I fucking hate this. But you know what? I love having something to do when I'm traveling a lot. Like, I love being on tour. And like I'm in a band with like older dudes who are all married and they're like, oh, can't wait to go home and see my wife. I'm like, shut up.

Like, how can you not be totally? enjoying this like mixture of responsibility and kind of life gets put on hold and an anarchy making money and playing music i don't know i mean i get there are definitely parts of it that are hard like i'm an introvert and i don't like to be around a fuck ton of people all the time but as far as like the actual job part of it goes yeah i love that and i like i don't really like to be in one place all the time so that's good for me when you say the actual job part are you talking specifically about the show itself The playing of the show.

Just any time I'm actually playing music, there's a lot of bullshit. Like, I feel like most of my job can be, like, carrying stuff, like, carrying stuff into the hotel, carrying stuff out, carrying stuff into the show. But, like, yeah, I like playing. And I get a lot of writing done when I'm on tour because I don't have enough distraction to be like, oh, I'll go out for a drink with so-and-so. Or, like, oh, I need to do the dishes. Like, you just have to write and perform. Are y'all that way? I write better at home.

I do too, actually. I try to, I want to, I always tell myself, like, I'm going to get a lot of writing done on this leg, but I never do. I'm kind of like a mixture. Like, when I'm on the road is when I come up with all the ideas that I will eventually write at my house. Yeah. Like, I'm constantly on my phone, putting in the notes, putting in the notes. But then when it's like, I sit down on my couch when I'm finally like, all right, here I am. What can I do with this?

This is one to work on yada, yada, yada. But as far as tagging, and all the roads, because my. brain is it's getting new information at my house I know all this stuff I'm never inspired sitting there at the house I guess that's more what I mean like it's it frees up ideas I don't always yeah I never finish stuff on tour like it opens up my mind to a lot more wandering because I can just sit at my house and be like oh I don't know I don't know what the fuck I do all day sometimes wallow and misery yeah that's what I do when I'm on the road I wonder why I shouldn't get a job when I'm on the road and I'm not trying to be

gross, I masturbate so much more sincerely. But like to the point where... Wait, on the road or at home? On the road. To the point where lately I'm thinking like you're just distracting yourself from loneliness or something. You should be doing something else. That's kind of all of life. They call that... There is a term for that and it's called

procrastrabation. That's the thing? When you... Yeah, it's like... Well, not just he... Not exactly... If he had said, I'm just doing this so I'm not writing right now or I'm putting off writing, that's what that is. But he talking about he's just pushing the void back.

Oh, yeah. With porn. That's usually what porn is. But noticing that I'm having to do it more on the road, I should be writing about it. You know what I mean? That's another way you can push the void back. About masturbating.

Sure. I'm a comedian. I know it is true. Like I think, and I think, not to be that like, oh, you kids and your phones guy, but I think it makes it a lot easier to forget loneliness and, like, actually writing about how you're feeling and just be like,

I'll just shoot off a text to my boyfriend. That'll make me feel better. It's an endorphin fix. I don't know. It's very weird. You can feed your fucking ego. You can feed your sexual appetite. You can feed so much with this fucking thing.

It's awesome. It's true. It's so awesome. Do you know your other siblings? Do they still play music? Or do they go do other stuff? They all play. They're all musicians.

I'm assuming that was your... I mean, they have other jobs. Right. Okay. I'm assuming that was your dad who he was a musician and he started you all playing music when you were kids. Yeah, I think that was a lot of it. And I think, I don't know.

There were always like instruments around. I don't know. We had like a big stereo. So it just, for me, it just felt natural to play music. I wasn't really good at it when I was a kid, like at all. But I always wanted to like be a pop star and that's what I was going to do. because I lived, I was like a kid when Britney Spears very first came out and all that stuff just seemed super awesome to me. So I thought that was going to somehow magically be my career when I got like any talent.

I know you already said that people thought that just wearing literally anything different made you a goth or whatever. But I still in my head, honestly, I'm a little surprised right now and that's just me being stereotyping or whatever. but I'm a little surprised that that you were super into that shit. I was like, my sister was super into that shit. And that, but like,

uh, she was not at all. Nobody was calling her a gauce. She was, she was very, you know what I mean? Like she was kind of, uh,

typical in every other way for the girls of her age around where we were from or whatever. You know what I mean? Uh, except she ended up being very liberal politically, but yeah. She was 13. she didn't have politics.

You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I was just a really weird kid. Like I was homeschooled. So I was just a fucking weirdo. Because of the farm or because of something else. My parents are going to listen to this and be like, why would you say that? My parents are just like super anti-establishment.

I don't know how else to put it. Hell yeah. You know, don't be indoctrinated by, I don't know. My dad's got all his money. Your dad, Ron Swanson, your A4-Lodgate. I get it. Yeah. This is all checking out.

Is it. Was your dad a pastor? He was a pastor. He's not anymore. Not anymore. My dad was too much establishment. The church was too established. My dad was a drunk who became a pastor.

Did your dad do the opposite? Yeah. Really? Fuck yeah. He'll hate that I said that. What kind of pastor? Presbyterian when I was a kid. He's Catholic now.

So he could have been drunk and a pastor at the same time. He's Catholic now. He was one of the more like wily ones. Wiley to who? them to the other people in the church. They were like, oh, wine is evil and grapes didn't ferment when Jesus was alive. And so he said, Catholicism. Yeah.

This little not glove. This shall not stand. How big was Jesus in your household or how you grew up? Oh, pretty big. Actually, you know, I feel like Jesus got bigger when I was an older person. When I was a kid, God super loomed over everything. I don't know if that makes sense. You know, it does to me.

Because it's like the happy people who just love Jesus. My family was more like, God will see you. Yeah, the burning, like the brimstone and shit like that. Yeah, Jesus is absolutely. Jesus is all about love. But when they were older, it was more about like forgiveness and love. See, like honestly, when I said Jesus, I kind of meant the other thing. Because like I didn't, I didn't grow up like in the church really at all, which makes me a total anomaly where I'm from.

But even though I grew up totally surrounded by, like, everybody I knew was that way. Like, all I have is that sort of out. outsider's perspective of it. You know what I mean? There's so much about it that I still don't. They make fun of me a lot for like not knowing shit about. Yeah. For not knowing shit about God.

If I can point this out just so you know going forward, anytime I do that, it is pure jealousy. Yeah. Like, it really is. Like, I made a tweet one time. I was like,

I really envy my future children because they'll never have to fucking grow up in church. Right. I love like kids complete. Like, because all my friends are like musicians and they have these teenage kids. kids are like, I don't want to do blue.

I'm like, you don't even, you have never gone to church ever. Like, please stop complaining about what you might have to do. I used to spend like hours in that place. Oh, yeah. Then you get home, like, time to talk about this? Go on. The Gaither's are on. Let's watch the Gator.

You got to. Yeah, see, yeah. Sunday. Well, and then like, you make it for other reasons. And they're also very valid. You make it through the Sunday service and you're going home to eat the chicken and you're like, yeah, we're going to watch the fucking. cool Batman cartoon

and like play PlayStation games and then mom's like the preacher's coming over Oh my God. And it's like a double bullshit because when a pastor comes over now he gets the good chicken and all the fucking food

and we have to pretend like I don't watch Batman cartoons. Right. Yeah. What kind of lesson is that teaching a kid? I know. I remember one time we had this huge family. They had like an ungodly amount of children

like 15 or something disgusting. Or a very godly amount of children. Or very godly I guess. And it was like we had to put all away away any book. that had like talking animals like basically act like we didn't have shit

and I'm like they're coming into my house but then those motherfuckers put on prayer bear which is about a bear that's a stuff bear the praise and I was like this is a talking animal why is this not sinful we're not teaching you to live a double life

in a way no no no no no we're supposed to act you can do whatever you want as long as you act to people as long as you lie about it I'm like no wonder my marriage ended mom thanks well it's It's interesting that you have that. That's what I was going to ask about.

Do you feel like it affected you negatively or positively in lasting ways? I don't know. I don't think there's any lasting damage from that. I mean, I think about a lot of the aspects. My parents could have been a lot worse. There were just weird. My parents changed a lot, too. Like, they were very strict when I was a kid.

They got less strict. And I also, I'm not one of those people that, like, dwells on childhood and how it affected me. I'm so fucking happy to be an adult because I did have such a strict upbringing that I was just like one day I realized I was an adult and I was like fuck yeah I'm never doing it like I don't understand people who are like don't let my boyfriend know I'm smoking a sucker I'm like I do whatever the fuck I want because I'm an adult like I mean I'll be polite but it's so weird it seems pretty evident to me that like you at some point let quit all that that being church I mean yeah Was there like a breaking point or did you just slowly like, eh, and just stop fucking with it? For me personally, I mean, I was really religious up until about 19, and I don't know. Probably just reasonable thinking. I don't know. It's hard to explain.

Slow, though. Like, it wasn't like one day you were over. No, I just kind of stopped. And I never really had this like, I'm an atheist. I just got really tired of all the fucking bullshit and prayer and all the shit that went wrong in my life not to go into too many details. I was just kind of over like, it's God's will whenever something good happens. And then when something bad happens, it's like, who do you fucking blame? There's a lesson to be learned.

I'm like, about what? I love the God's plan thing when someone goes when someone says that to your face. Yeah. Because you're like, hey, I don't think God. I want you telling everybody how shitty his plans are. Yeah. He can hear you. This was a bad plan.

You can fucking tell him I said that, you know? Is it any kind of bone of contention with the rest of your family? Or are they all just kind of like... Occasionally. I mean, everyone kind of has their own thing going on. My parents are still very religious. We don't talk about it too much. My dad and I occasionally will butt heads about it.

But I'm not. I don't really come around like, I'm an atheist, guys. Fuck God. I hate everything. Jesus was a moron. Like, I'm just like, I question everything a lot, which is kind of how I was raised. I'm similar to that. Yeah.

I tell them all the time you did this to me. Yeah. So many ways. If you didn't want me to be this way, why did you? No, because my parents were really cool. And a lot of people, and I play into this on stage, to be fair, but a lot of people just sort of assume you were raised by a preacher, like, that must have been hard or whatever. But the truth is, my dad was, I mean, he was like, he was like, I mean, he was like, he was like, like hung over and made us go to church when I was very little. And he became a preacher

later on. But he was much cooler than many of my friends who also have preachers for fathers because he was just, I think he was sort of like, you've lived with me for 14 or 15 years. I can't tell you we have to do X and Y and Z now. Yeah. And I'm a preacher. When you saw me like drunk and hammered challenging everyone in the neighborhood to a race in the yard. Yeah. I mean. So like I think that it was a little more even kill than people assume what screw me up that I'm just starting to get over to be honest is more how serious it is. If you just are religion, it has to do with my parents, just religion in general, like, hell.

Like, you know, my pap ball didn't go to church at a very young age. I figured out that means he's going to hell, right? Right. And the answer was yes. Yeah. And that fucked me up, like, really bad, you know. And, yeah, that was always weird to be told about this great punishment thing. and then the reward didn't sound that great to me.

Not as good as the punishment sounded bad. Not even with most. I mean, it's terrible. How the fuck was to live forever? Heaven scared the fuck out of me. With a bunch of goddamn Christians. I think heaven and hell equally scared me as a kid. Me too.

So eternity? Yeah. Because he's said that. Well, that and like, really everyone's going to be in heaven and we're all going to get along. So my parents were like, well, you'll forget everything that happened. And I'm like, I don't want to. Like, I don't want to talk to some asshole. who wronged me in the earthly world?

Like, I don't know. It just, it sounds bizarre to me. And the fact that so much about heaven, I started to realize the symbolism was like, streets of gold. I'm like, do you really think gold is a thing? Right. And also, why would that be?

Who? It's just very, it's just very clear who they were trying to please. To his credit, my dad had a great explanation for that, which was that John, who wrote Revelation and wrote about the streets of gold, as a human man, couldn't fathom the beauty God revealed to him, so he just put it in the best terms possible, to which I said, that sounds like an acid trip, Dad, and he didn't know like that response.

Isn't that, like, a theory that there was a lot of, like, I don't know, that, like, magic mushrooms heard around Mount Sinai. Yeah, Mount Sinai. Mount Sinai has one of the highest concentrations of cell and saline theories of how religion became a thing in humanity and in society in general. It was like magic mushrooms made people start to think of ourselves and our place in the universe, and then we came up with a God figure. okay

so it's not like I got obsessed with this for years anyway guys enough about that Lydia you've been up since 3 a.m. this morning so I know you're very sleep deprived but before we let you go I don't know what's next for you

moving L.A. writing for Halsey yeah totally I already sent some stuff to the bebes yeah well I mean I have like a pretty light tour schedule for the next couple months but I'm sure I'll be getting back at it I'm moving in August to North Carolina.

Yeah. My second favorite state. Yeah. Wait, what's your favorite? Tennessee. Okay. Yeah. I'm a homer.

I'm one of those people. Remember how I said I really want my bands to be in the boat with the river and all that? Yes. He loves rivers. You're moving. What? You're moving to Raleigh? Yes.

You know who also lives in Raleigh? Oh, Sarah Shook. Sarah Shook and also one of our. favorite things in the world. Kiwi, the mini horse. The tiny horse. How would I not heard of? Well, I'm going to hook you.

I'm going to hook you all up. That's the first thing we're going to do. You need a tiny horse in your life. Let me tell you. So we got tiny, we got tiny horse people. I'll set my tiny horse people up with you.

No, no, seriously, you can go to their farm and hang out. They would love to have you. I know they would because they say they'd like me and you're better than me, so there's no way they wouldn't like you. Plug, we'll plug your website and your Twitter or something if people want to hear your music or

Yeah, it's my website's Lydia loveless.com. My horrible Twitter is Lydia underscore Loveless. What's horrible about that? The underscore? I get really, no, like just the things I tweet are stupid. I get on rants and then I'm like, oh, why did I say that? I tweeted a long rant at Malcolm Gladwell the other day because of some podcast he would call all these satirists not brave because they didn't do what he wanted them to do.

Lord, I went on a tirade. And of course, he didn't respond because who gives a fuck about me if you're Malcolm Gladwell. Or then someone will be like, you're ugly and fat. You're like, why am I on here, wasting my life? Like, God. They called Trey a, a Jew actor hired by Obama to spread liberalism to rednex. That's a compliment. That's what we said.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that they also, though, have, I've had people threatened to rape my wife. I've had people who make pictures of nooses and shit like that and that kind of thing. And like, so, yeah, fuck the internet. But at the same time, my whole thing came over the internet. Also, this is also, this is on the internet. That's Kiwi. Look at that.

Oh my God. That's real? Yeah, that's real. That's Kiwit, tiny horse. Yeah. See, he's on the internet. That shit's pretty cool. He's going through a rough time right now, though.

His dad's not doing well. Leo. Leo. Leo, also tiny horse. He's a paternal tiny horse. We're in our thoughts right now, Leo. Yeah. Positive.

Positive thoughts going out to Kiwi's daddy, Leo, the tiny horse. I assume the Daria aspect of your personality that we were talking to Barry, which I totally identify with. I was very cynical about. about Kiwi the tiny horse, but I'm telling you, just look at five pictures of them and you'll totally turn around. I love tiny animals. It doesn't. All right.

Well, Lydia, thank you very much for joining us. Everybody listen, please check out Lydia's stuff. She is truly a fantastic musician. I feel like we've talked more about just like cynicism and Jesus than we have your music, and I'm sorry about that. But we are all big fans, and we're really glad you came and talked to us today. Thank you. Yeah. Go to Lydia Loveless.com.

And you can order her music, which is on iTunes, Amazon Bandcamp. Yeah. That's a thing too. So yeah, go to Lydia loveless.com. And she's awesome. We love her. We love her too. All right.

We'll see y'all next time. Thank you. Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and Scoo.