wellRED podcast - #180 - Drew Bout Got Ate By A Bear or (Ellen A Handbasket)

Episode Date: August 5, 2020

This week Drew catches us up on his camping trip where he bout got eaten buy a bear, the boys discuss political correctness, The CHO falls off the wagon and much much more!!!For TIX to our LIVESTREAM comedy show, go to wellredcomedy.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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What's up everybody? It's you boy, the show. Corey Ryan Forster here. Wellred comedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. That is where you can find out. Well, we only have one date right now. But every single person out there can see it.

at the same damn time, which is pretty cool. It's the first time we've ever had a show to promote where it's not like a specific city. It's online because that's what we're having to do right now. August 7th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific for the boys out there. Excuse me. We're doing well-read quarantine. It's $15. It's live stream.

It's completely brand new material. You ain't seen none of this shit. It's good stuff. It's what's been going on our mind throughout these past months of turmoil. But we're going to try to break some tension and have a good time with you. you guys and afterwards there is going to be like a little after-party Q&A situation so we're going to be hanging out, drinking, buzzed up, talking to all you guys. Thank you so much for everybody who has purchased tickets.

It's been real good. But if you don't know, go to well-readcom and grab those tickets. And if it goes well, I would venture to say that we will do these more frequently because it's still looking kind of rough out there and we want to keep it safe and we want to make sure everybody is safe. In the meantime, though, me and the guys are all three working on some individual products projects I can't fucking talk whenever I do these I don't know why

we're working on some individual projects Trey a lot of you that are on the well-read feed you just saw we just dropped the audio for evening skews in here that's a show he's doing with our buddy Smart Mark Drew of course with DJ DJ Lewis has had Into the Abisket the podcast and

you boy the show just started a new one we're on week three right now it's called Through the Screen Door with Corey Ryan Forster and my producer and co-host Matt Coon we're doing a little variety show We've got sketches. We've got monologue. We've got story time.

We've got movie reviews. It's been a lot of fun. I thank you all for listening. If you haven't yet, go check it out through the screen door on all your podcast apps. And if it's not there yet, just go to screendoorpod. com. Check out into the abisket with Drew. Check out evening skews with Trey.

We're trying to pump out content for you guys because we know, as I've joked, you've already watched the office 18 more times and you've already seen the fucking wire. So we're doing our best. And thank you for keeping us sane by downloading and subscribing. telling your friends and like I say go to well red comedy.com grab tickets for quarantine comedy and without further ado here's this episode of the podcast skew they're the

they're the rich manchew way too much but don't give a fun they're the next that makes some people upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck y'all know what ranch water is the drink the alcoholic drink

Ranch water? No, but I guarantee my sister does. So it's basically... It tastes it with a fucking baked potato. Well, Andy was telling me about it. She's like, I want to try this thing called Ranchwater. And I was like, I bet you do it. Yeah.

Okay. And it's just, as she described it to me, I realize it's just a daquery with tequila instead of room, but like a real dacery, not like the super fruity frozen one. It's just lime. Like a hemingway. And the drink. And then you put a little soda water in it. I think I'm going to have that on Friday before our show.

I'm just going to get fucked up on tequila and see what happens. Oh, yeah. I've recently, you know, I've never been much of a whiskey mine, but I've recently, due to the pandemic and alcoholism, truly setting in, I've started to really hit the whiskey bottle. How's that going for you? Honestly, better.

They're more fun drunks. Didn't you puke on it? Yeah, and then I felt great. Afterwards, I kept going. So. Well, I just thought it, like, made you sick. I didn't think you got got so. No, no, no, no.

It was actually one of those, like, you know, when you, this happens to me sometimes with just like a sip of Diet Coke. Like, you just, you take a swig of something and it just goes down. They're like, it goes down a wrong pipe and it just stay right there on your chest. Well, like, it was just that. And as soon as I peaked it up, I immediately felt great. And I was like, well, I'll keep drinking. My interpretation of your retelling of that was that the whiskey,

does whiskey be doing that to you? And you had forgotten that that's why you don't drink it. because gin does that to me. Okay, I definitely think there is certain types of whiskey I'm allergic to to because every now and then we'll be to bar and I'll take a shot of whiskey with somebody and I'll immediately sneeze 17 times. Okay, just the whole way y'all are already talking about this.

I already know that you, both of you, and I'm the same way, sort of adhere to this thing that I think a lot of drinkers adhere to that scientists and stuff will tell you, liquor scientists will tell you is a complete bullshit. and that's that whole idea of like different things. No, I know. That's what I want to talk about. I don't think I know anybody that doesn't buy into this, that's a drinker.

But the idea that different liquors, like, affect people different ways, as far as I know, there's never been any real, like, you know, actual data that supports that or whatever. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. I mean, I agree. So I just do say that Yeager bombs are real bad for you, right? That's probably, but that would be just because of, like, Red Bull and.

It's a goddamn red bullet. It's like ultra- Mix with drunk and ultra- Mix with the alcohol. Right. That's like hard on your heart. Well like tequila and gin have different things in them other than alcohol. Also how could, I'm not saying it like they're going to give you a heart attack.

That's not my point. Agave is what's in tequila. Isn't that? That's a lot of sugar. Isn't that kind of an upper as well? Yeah. Tequila is the only upper alcohol, right? Well, it might be the only alcohol that has upper in it.

Alcohol itself is a downer. Right, right, right. That's what I'm saying. Yeager has an upper mixed with it. Right. Well, my thing is, dude, scientists can't even definitively tell you what a goddamn yawn is. So it's not like they got everything figured out. You know what I'm saying?

But dude. I know what happens to me when I drink, Jen. I don't give a fuck what Dr. Dickhead says about it. Me either. And a red wine, I know, like, if you, if, like, I could be sitting there on my couch. And if someone snapped their fingers and made me a specific type of drunk without me having actually done it, I'm pretty sure that I could definitely be like,

oh, I'm red wine drunk. I know. I just know. My snaps her fingers. Ooh, I'm Jeannie drunk. I told you I figured it out. That would hit. One time my buddy, one time my buddy Robbie, when we were talking, he goes, he goes, man, we were drunk.

And he was like, God damn, he's like, getting drunk is so fucking rad. But like, the process of getting drunk isn't always great, you know, like having to do it. He's like, I wish there was like a pill you could take that would just make you drunk. And then he stopped for a second. He's like, I guess that's just what pills are. I was like, yeah, we should just take bills. Drew, so this article I'm reading here says a lot of it, scientists think a lot of it is just people's different psychological expectations for how a certain liquor is going to affect them. But there's another possibility, another possibility called congeners, and I'm probably saying that wrong, C-O-N-G-E-R-S, congeners.

They live next to me when I was little. That sounds like a festival of mammals or something. Yeah, Debbie congener. I was one of my mom was friends. Are you going to GienerCon? She had a feather mullet. I'm pretty sure she was gay, but she wasn't allowed to be back then.

Go ahead. Congeners are the chemical impurities that are produced as byproducts of the fermentation and distillation process. So it's like, like you were saying, Drew, all the different little things that make different liquors be kind of different. And it says,

you know, it is possible that those different congeners could affect different people different ways, but it's hard to study for some reason, I guess because. Everybody just keeps getting drunk and lines. Right, yeah, exactly. Well, it's mostly the alcohol.

They get a group of dudes drunk and they can ask them questions. They're like, shut the fuck up. I'm listening to music. Yeah, I could imagine, too, like one of these scientists being like, there's so little of whatever that congener is in this tequila. You'd have to drink 15. Shut up, nerd. I'm on 17.

Yeah, dude, I'm telling me. It's a thing. I don't give a fuck. I mean, I agree. I agree. It's a thing. When I was in, when I was like college age, people like close to me, my sister and Katie. I know where this is going. Both like pretty much made me or like I had like a whiskey

intervention. I was about to say, but only only for whiskey, but they pretty much were like, Katie and Page were like, no shit, you have got to stop drinking whiskey. Where I'm telling you, you got to stop drinking. And then I did and I didn't drink whiskey at all for a long time. Now I can have a little bit. But like, and that and when I did that, I didn't quit getting drunk. You know, I was 23. I stayed getting drunk. But I did quit drinking whiskey and like those problems. Yeah, right. And it's not like your sister and your wife were going to just all of a sudden

start shutting the fuck up about it. Right. But it was, and what it was doing, it was like nothing made me more of a just like, drunk ass redneck ass. Like nothing brought the like sort of trailer park and salina out of me the same way that whiskey did.

Whiskey specifically would make me just be like, you know, well, by God. Like that was, that was the general effect of whiskey. Now, it could be such a placebo, like an ingrained placebo that like, because every single one of our songs, like our redneck song is all about getting whiskey bent and hellbound

and taking a shot of jack, throwing it back, fucking a motherfucker up, that like somehow it really isn't a physical thing. It's all mental, but we've just convinced ourselves, if we're sitting or drinking a bottle of whiskey, God damn it, I'm going to get angry. Because I have to admit with you,

I feel this, like when I drink, usually when I drink, I usually will drink a whole bottle of whatever it is I'm drinking because I'm, you know, broken and I just have a great tolerance. When I drink a whole bottle of vodka, I usually am pretty chill, just lay there, want to watch TV or sit on the porch and listen to music. I'll often, like, when I'm on my vodka benders, I don't even have my phone with me. I'm just like fucking around. When I'm on whiskey, I always seem to write at least five to six paragraph long text telling someone what I think. about someone. You know what I'm saying?

And for no reason, I should be like, you know what, God damn, and I need to tell my sister what this motherfucker did it. Or like somebody will just set me off and then here I go.

But like, and it just seems very specifically whiskey that I kind of get this like, I don't know, I can't explain it, but fuck science, I think Jen's mine. I don't think it's a coincidence.

I've never heard anyone say that it's vodka. Yeah. Because vodka don't have any of those other things. Exactly. Right. There ain't no congeniality in it. Right. I had a buddy Austin.

I shouldn't have said his name. He was like that with all liquor. And then we just realized it's just because he's getting too hammered too quickly. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Right. Yes. Yeah, you'll have that too. It's like, man, he's like a little allergic to that vodka.

Well, he did turn the bottle up for a full two seconds. Yeah, I was about to say, I've never, most people were like, I drink a whole bottle. Every time I drink PGA, I end up asleep in the dryer. Like, yeah. No shit. Fucking PGA. all night long and be the happiest, coolest dude. And he's not mean when he drinks liquor.

It's just more of like different person, you know. But mine's definitely gin, buddy. Right, but see the thing, but like as far as liquor versus just like speaking broadly, liquor versus beer versus. You're not as drunk. That makes, right, that you're not as drunk totally checks out and isn't weird at all because it's just a matter of like one, you know, one of them get you way drunker Yeah, by the time, by the time I drank like it, like I said, when I drink whiskey,

I'll drink a whole bottle in a night. By the time I could drink that amount of beer, I would be way too full and I would have passed the fuck out. Like I couldn't do it. Like I can drink. Go ahead. I was just to say part of the reason I thought of my boy is that's the only other person I've heard have a specific intervention, not like a broad other than you, Trey.

Like that's a red-ass thing where it's like, listen, we got. we still want to know you're going to drink. Yeah, right. Yeah. You can drink. I mean, I mean, I get it, though. Like, I get, like, I've got, I've got some buddies who, uh, who were definitely like, like, once they stopped drinking whiskey or just any liquor period and now they just

drink beer, they absolutely still drink every weekend, but no one's had any more problems out. Like, all the problems were, they were taking way too many shots. They were getting fucking blackout because it's not like they weren't drinking beer during that, too, you know. Right. It's like, once you take the whiskey away, it's like, oh, yeah, I can just have 12 beers on the lake.

And then I, you know, I don't yell at my wife and kick my kid in the pool, you know. Yeah. Speaking of yelling at your wife, I hung out with Bobby this weekend. That's an inside joke. Bobby doesn't even have a wife. He did make some great jokes about his German Shepherd dog. But we saw a bear. Oh, don't hit.

It came to our camp. Andy left the food out. Now, in her defense, when I say lift the food. food out. We hadn't gone to bed yet. Like, like, nobody had put really the food up in general. We just hadn't gone to bed yet. We had gathered all the stuff we cooked and put that away. There was a bag with, like, um, cashews in it. And Andy and Bobby's girlfriend, Angie, were dancing with these pixel whips. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that attracted the bears.

All check. I agree. I agree. Yeah. And Bobby had gone to bed. Well, you go eat those stupid. girls dancing. I can't take this shit anymore. Well, I thought Bobby might have called the bear in retrospect, because Bobby was asleep, and I heard a noise by his van, his new rat-ass band. He's got, like, moving four-by-four vans.

And I thought, in my head, Bobby got up, and then I went to move my light towards him, and as I was moving my line, I thought, or it's a bear. And before my thought got the word bear into my head, I saw the damn bear. Mick growled, the bear turned and looked, and Mick stopped fucking immediately.

Of course. And there was just a pretty big fucking bear just eating our cashews. And of course we were like, well, we got to go to the party is over. Well, how do we do this? And then a coyote, I swear to God, runs by right in front of the bear. I just started laughing, which the girls said calm them down. But it was not like I'm enjoying this laugh. It was very much like God is about to kill me in the most hilarious.

way. Corey and Trey are going to love this story when Bobby finds my corpse. Yeah, yeah. This coyote ran between us. There's a coyote and a bear within 30 feet of all of us, and the girls are behind me. That made me laugh even more, because I'm like, I'm not fighting a bear for either of y'all. Hell no. What color was the bear?

It was either black or brown. I'm not racist against bears. It actually matters with them. Well, it wasn't a grizzly. I know that. But actually, I haven't looked it up, Trey. Maybe you know. The California brown bear is extensive.

the one that's on the flag. Okay. So it weren't that one. That checks out. There's a grizzly in some parts of California. It's my understanding up north, but not necessarily in the south, and it definitely wasn't a grizzly. I think black bears are the only other thing around here. I don't know.

I don't know which different bears are indigenous to this region. All I know is that, like, black, if it's a black bear, you are probably okay unless something's wrong with it. I'll tell you what. But if it's a brown bear, then you don't want to fuck with it either way. I'm about figuring out, figuring out what. type of bear a bear is is something you do long after the bear has done gone and you have done shit you know what I'm saying like yeah like there's not a snakes are the same way like I've never been walking and in a snake was beside me and went like that's okay that's a garden snake we're

gonna be cool like it's a fucking dead snake is what it's about to be it's like a logic test of like you know Dan is in his backyard and a bear comes in and Dan goes to see what color the bear is I'll never know what color of the bear is just from that amount of information, but I know Dan is white. There is no, like that's, let me go find out what color of the bear. Fuck that. Dee Hill Hugley had a bit exactly like that one of his old specials where he's like, oh, he goes into the classic black comic doing a white person voice.

You know, he's like, oh, it's a bear. Look at that, guys, it's a bear. Let's go say hi, you know. And then they get eaten by a bear and how that would never happen to a black person. Yeah. Somebody had a bit about, you see him black people run, all black people. If they said person run, they just run. He's like, he's like, let somebody at this auditorium just sort of stand up and just kind of start running right now. He's like, you'll see.

That's pop up at different spots. There's be like, what is, what is he? Get them kids, get them kids. And he just runs off. Well, I promise you, if I ever see a group of black people running, I'm fucking following him. It was smaller. Oh, absolutely. It looked, so when I first saw it, it was squatted over the bag,

and I did get real scared because I thought it was a cub. Yeah. When Mick Browd, it, like, stood up to show Mick how big it was, and I actually did get relieved then to realize, okay, I don't have a fucking cub alone and no idea where mama is right now. Oh, but that would not hit. Yeah, man. So what, did you just let him?

finish and fuck off? We did let him finish, but we were like, I don't know how long it's going to be. And they clearly just, like, they were like, we got to get in the cars. And we had it in our mind. Like, we decided that as long as we were by the fire, we were fine. So we, because I mean, you know, bears don't like fire. Come on. Yeah, but then they could see you.

Yeah, but I could see it. I had the light on him. I got a picture. All you can see is his eyes. So they went, got everything in the car, like the cooler and all that. and they got in the van in the car respectively. And then it was on me to either let the fire burn for the rest of the night, which is a big no-no in the national part.

Especially out here, yeah. Right. Or put the fire out and have nothing but my headlamp and, you know, my 35-year-old legs. Boy, you're really going through it, boy. Yeah. So I put the fire out, slowly walk back to the car with a light on him, but without kind of looking at it and just kind of out of the side of my head because I'm like, I don't know if looking at him is going to make him feel like I'm aggressive,

but I'm not trying to do that. Got back to the car. Everything was cool. And then, God damn it was so funny. Andy is like trying to fix her palate and just won't like let me in the car. Yeah.

And not like, fuck you, but just like, hold on. Yeah, hold on. Yeah. And I'm like,

hold on. Right. Like what, Andy, like, she's like, yeah, I'm just,

I got to get it, you know, because like, because we're sleeping in the car. And like, what she was doing would have been totally legitimate. If there wasn't a bear. Yeah.

And I'm trying to be. calm because I'm like, I'm not trying to get in a fight. And also I don't want to start yelling or whatever. And then the bear's like, what the fuck? That's aggression or whatever. And then I guess he ripped another portion of the bag right at that moment. Like, there was just a loud like, and I jumped my ass just into the car over her and Mick,

just like, we're getting it. This is the bear scenario. And I got to say, I did not sleep well last night, voice. That was end of the story. But I mean, you know, like, And I mean, I know you know all this, but like that bear, he was getting everything he wanted. You know what I mean? Absolutely.

Yeah, he didn't give a fuck about y'all. He just like, ooh, this hits. And like, you know, right. Yeah. And if he came over there, too, like, I had, you know, stuff. I was going to throw Andy out the window. So it would have been fine. Yeah.

Most burglars just want your shit. Right. Right. And then I had to pee at 2 a.m. so bad that I just had to. And I got out and peed in a towel. It was gone by then. But like I was laughing to myself about me having to try to run from a bear butt-necked through the fucking national forest.

That's a Drew Morgan moment right there. Oh, I left one tiny thing out. There was a point where I was looking at the bear as I was walking back to the car and I saw eyes over his shoulder. I think that coyote was like stalking the bear, just like everything he didn't eat. Like he was just following him around. I don't get fucked with as long as I'm with the bear. I'm sure you're probably right.

He probably would literally it was, you know, Hey, it's cool if you're going to finish that, but if you're not, I'm just going to, I'm never mind, whatever you want. I'm just chill. But then whatever the bear don't eat, that coyote swoops in and takes it, yeah. Man, they should add a cartoon about them two, fellas. All right, that was my own story. This is a short story slash question, and I hope this is going to lead to some discussion.

Another thing that happened, so we got in there, we calmed down. I had gas real bad. You guys, you know, I was eating sausage and hamburgers. I bet everybody wished that bear had an h-you. do we pre-fart? Like pre-cum? Yeah. Wait, hold on.

Hold on. Can I guess why you're about to ask? Yeah. Because his butt just stank even before he farts? Because your dog looks at you before you fart, so you think that they can smell it first? Because I've always thought that. I believe you? I knew I was going to get some good info from the show.

I'll like, I'll be about to fart. And right when I'm about to do my dog, I look up. And I'm like, you smell it about to come out my ass. For it came out my ass, didn't you? Because you got a good nose. I was about to fart. And Andy said gross. And I swear to God.

she got to the R before the noise came out. Hmm. I think that's just, y'all, y'all got a stink. You got a stink stink, you're going to stink, you're going to stink, and I go, Andy, what, you said gross before I farted.

And she said, I said, I said gross when I smelled it. I think the fart came out before the fart came out. Well, I mean, look, as we know, yours are so fucking potent that, like, I could, I could actually genuinely see that. Your farts are like stars. Like, sometimes we're,

smelling one that has already actually burned up long ago. You know what I mean? But it's still so bad and so bright that it's just never getting to us. I do know what you mean, but I have so many, but like it's not just that the smell beat the noise. I feel like the smell beat me feeling it come out. Yeah.

You could just have a real loose asshole right now and you know. Right. You just sort of gradually leaked some fart out, some death, stink death out. Yeah. It was stink death bad too. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I could say that.

I think I pre-farted and got her pregnant. Yeah, you might have. I don't know. Fucking fart, baby. You know what makes... Go up and work at the fart bank. Ah, shit. You know what makes...

That reminds me of something I've been wanting to ask you. Okay. Not you, surprisingly. Are there fart cops? Oh, I don't... No, they never really get it. It seems to me that Butt Butt Man is so untouchable that he's yet to even have to deal with, you know. So but my man don't have a nemesis.

No, he should. You're right. I'll get on that. I'll talk to him about it. They'll come up with something. Yeah, they're right. Tray, kids, I need you to come in here. This is serious.

We need to talk about story structure. God damn it. I've thought about, I've very briefly tried. It never works out. I've thought about sort of trying to kind of by that type of thing, getting them to kind of, kind of like write out a story basically that the three of us then like oh like but but like played it totally straight and completely seriously like drunk history kid history like none of it was funny at like you know at all yeah but then

it's like you know written by bishop crowder eight years old so you know it's like written by child so you get the joke but we play it totally sure i've tried it's like they just end up it's like they're evolving into like yeah right yeah yeah It's like they're eight years old talking about fucking fart man and but. Yeah, but your efforts are either going to turn them into the next fart in Scorsese or they're going to like, or they're going to rebel, you know, and become accountants. Like, yeah, my dad was always trying to get me to be cool. Either way, that hits.

True. I agree. You know what makes Corey fart is dairy, but luckily for Corey, he's cut dairy out entirely. Because as he said himself, as he announced, Last one. Okay, okay. I know what you're doing, but okay. You're right.

We announced it for you. As we announced, and he confirmed live on the air last week, Corey is, he's gone vegan, everybody, the show, a vegan show. How about that? So let's check back in and see how that's going. This weekend veganism with the show. How's it going there? Still going strong, man.

Oh, yeah? It's firmly. Look, bro. All right. So, what happened was. Let me go in. tell you right now what i've learned from my stint being a vegan is this um it don't hit no no no it's not that it don't hit that's hilarious it's not that it don't hit if you think that you have prepared

for seven days worth of being a vegan you really probably only prepared for about three or four you know what i'm saying because like the first two days especially you're going to very much overeat on all the stuff just to make up for the fact that you're like, well, goddamn, I'm not having this, this, this, this, and this. At least I'm going to have fucking twice the amount that this is. And so what happened to me was I fucking got drunk and I'd had my vegan noodles that night and they were spicy vegan noodles and I cooked up some mushrooms and some vegan butter and it was all really fucking good. The only thing weird about the noodles is that they were kind of a weird chewy texture. But after a couple bites, it actually started hitting for me. The

was is that the next day I didn't have any options whatsoever for myself and I woke up hungover and I could not bear the thought of driving 30 minutes to Whole Foods and there was literally nothing else to do but have Arby's delivered to me. There's nothing else he could do. It's just nothing I could do, Trey. My hands were tired. If you got to be a monkey, be a gorilla. I agree.

It wasn't like, it wasn't like, oh, well, you know what, I'll just reintroduce eggs into my system today. Right. And then go back tomorrow and it'll be fine. It was like, it was like what you said. It was we've got the meats. I mean, God damn. I mean, if I, fuck, why not? What's the difference?

Like me. He just said, fuck it. He just said, fuck it. He looked around and said, God damn it, who's got the meats? That's right. Arby's. And the meat. And so, Arby's delivered.

Delivered. That's like, if you're involved. the vegan wagon. Having fucking Arby's delivered to you is like... It's rough. They deliver via wagon? Who the fuck delivers that?

Can I tell you something right now that you're not going to believe? It fucking hit real hard. That RV is real good, dude. I had a fucking two beef and chitters. And dude, here's a cool thing about Arby's. They're not sponsoring the show this week. But here's the great thing about Arby's.

If you're thinking about getting it delivered, what's cool is, When you're, when you're sitting there picking, I've never, like, picked all the shit on a phone from Arby's. Like, I've always just gone in and been like, yo, you know, beef and cheddar, whatever. But, like, they list all these options for you that you didn't even know otherwise you can have. So I had a fucking beef and cheddar with a slice of Gouda on it and crispy onion sprinkled on that bitch. Like, woo, we. Like, it was real good, boy.

And then, and then, son, I mean, as you can imagine, it's not like I went the next day and been like, well, let's get some tofu. and somebody like like it's just because I kept drinking too like I kept drinking whiskey and yeah you blamed it on the whiskey that's why you puped to me yeah yeah no that was that was second day by the that was that was that was the second day no I'm what you eat that day um two pounds two pounds of uh garlic palm chicken wings yeah I think our audience needs to know how far is the arby's that you had delivered 12 minutes not even that where are you drunk oh hold on not 12. It's, Brian, it's six minutes. No, I was hung over. I was just real hung over. And like the like, okay, yeah, there's a delivery fee, but it's not ridiculous for the amount I ordered,

like, because, you know, like I made it worth it. Like the delivery fee is what the delivery fee is. So you just order a bunch more food and then it's like, right, it's not like I paid a $6 delivery fee for a $6 sandwich. You and Andy are so different, but so much the same. Just like bags and bags of shit. Like, oh, I got festival clothes. And the ship and handling is the same, no, many shirts you buy. So I bought seven of them.

I'll send three back. No, you won't. Well, it was my money. But so I, uh, what I did find out, though, was that genuinely I do like the vegan sour cream. Like, I like it. Like, I really like it. It tastes fucking good.

Uh, so I think there's a couple areas that I'm still going to improve on in my life. And maybe if I prepare better the next time, I don't fucking know, man. Like, I'm always going to get drunk and, and get Arby's delivered. I mean, that's who I am. Can I just, but on that note, because, you know, I'm right there with you. I've been a yo-yo my entire adult life as far as fat. Yeah.

Fat, between like real fat and kind of fat. The answer is seven pounds in four days. I gained and lost. Okay. But, like, you just said, like, oh, there's some improvements I can make with God. God damn, you know, and I've been there. In my experience, doing those like hard swings like that.

Like you just did. That's exactly what leads to what happened. The intense falling off the wagon of just like diving into the shame pool with hardies or whatever. And in hindsight, you start remembering stuff like that. But Tray, I cannot express to you the, like, can you imagine how ashamed and disgusted I was at myself to go not only do you need to get your shit together, you need to change everything. Like for me to even entertain veganism,

I was at such a fucking low point. And at that moment, yeah, you don't consider you're like, dude, you should just ease into this. Like, there's no easing in. I'm a bag of shit. Look at you. Look at you.

Like, this is bad. Like, look what you did. And then I, but, and I told you, and this is the first time I've ever really done this. Like, I didn't have any delude of like, I'm going to be. a vegan the rest of my life. I literally was just like, I want to do it for one fucking week. Just one week. That's it. And I also maintained that if I had prepared better, which I could

next time, I would have made it that week. Because if I'd have woke up and I'd have had more vegan noodles stuff, I'd have at them. But I didn't. So fucking Viva la Mets. Yeah. Yeah. No, you did. You did, to be fair to you, you did explicitly state that I'm not even confronting like this is going to be forever now or nothing like that. I'm just giving it a shot, which is very unlike the show in my experience. So like you knew, you knew what it was going to be. I did. And son, what I've done to chicken ever since.

On that note, do you think if you had convinced yourself that you were doing it forever, you would have made it a week? Like, is it like a thing where if your goal is here, you're going to get halfway no matter what the goal is? I think if I had convinced myself it was forever, I'd have made it a day. like the only because like that's how I've had to uh that's how I've had to quit cigarettes is like I was told early on it sounds cliche but it really works never say to yourself I'm never having a cigarette again just say I'm not having a cigarette today because you can handle today you know and I thought I could handle a week but turns out you know how big of a bag of shit I am just really knows no bounds but yeah like dude buddy again though man like that I can't like I don't know what like a doctor would literally have have to, first off, here's what would happen for me to go vegan the rest of my life. Not only would I have to like be drugged through a slaughterhouse by some, by one of them

documentarians and like actually firsthand witness all the stuff that I've turned a blind eye to, because I know that if I saw it, it would change me for, you know, probably about a week. Not only would that have to happen. Like I'd have to literally see them stab cows in the head with a screwdriver and slit pigs, throats and shit. Then also coupled with that, I would have to have a doctor tell me if you have another piece of meat you will die like you will die if you had like that fucking thank you for smoking erin echart like if you have one more puff this will literally do you in and even fucking then i can imagine myself like making it a couple weeks and then just being like well today for the last day of my life i'm gonna have a riba house and then i'm gonna

fucking check out. I'm going to get drunk first because you can't take it with you. But, you know, like, so I don't know, man. I don't know. I fucking love pig. I love cats. Yeah, boy. I know that's right.

And I mean, dude, we had even talked, we hadn't even mentioned dairy. I know. Like, I could do, I could probably go without the meats for way longer than the dairy. Probably, I don't fucking know. Was the sour cream the only dairy product you feel like you found a reasonable replacement for? as far as like snacking cheeses and stuff they had a couple you and there's a difference between snacking cheeses and a cheese you're going to put on top of something i get you of course because this cheese that i really like doesn't seem like it would melt on a fucking veggie burger It'd be melting weird. Those vegan cheeses be melting weird.

I can tell because the texture's weird, but I do like the way it tastes. And also that fucking vial-life cream cheese was the bomb. I honestly think next time I go to the store, I'm getting that instead of regular cream cheese, even if I ain't trying to front on other levels. The nut cheese, as you were telling me about hit for me. I know about those because my buddy Micah is,

he's like those intolerant, like he has to lay the fuck down for like eight hours. So he don't fuck with it. And he's had some almond cheeses in his house that I just didn't even know. I'm just drunk eating cheese. Most of the dairy products that I had, actually I feel like vegans have, they're getting really close, if not figured a lot of them out. Not milk.

Not milk. Not milk. Which for me, it's actually fine because they, they do just be, like, if I didn't want to do vegan, but it's like, oh, the milk portion of it fucks milk, they have lactate milk that I can drink. And that's fine. But like, I'll tell you what they ain't, like, they're, like, attempted, like, hot dogs and shit like that. Like, I would literally rather just have a plate of carrots.

You know what I mean, than that? I would rather be like, look, I'm just going to eat vegetables. You don't have to trick me into, like, all it does is it smells kind of like a hot dog. And at first you're like, oh, yeah, this is about to be it. And then it ain't shit at all. So, like, I literally would rather eat asparagus. My buddy, Ben, he's been on the podcast before. He's been a vegetarian since he was like 16.

And there was a place in New York that was a really high-rated vegetarian restaurant that did the fake stuff. And Ben eats trash. And like, he'll tell you, like, when we were in Australia living together, Ben would drink an entire leader of orange soda and two bags of potato chips. Frequently, that would be his day. Is this a professor, Ben? Yeah. Yeah, just super smart.

And then, you know, you get him in the grocery store. And he's like, I don't know, chips. I'm 35. But he loved that place. And he took me there. And I'm with you, Corey. Like, he was like, yeah, I love this place because, you know, he didn't want to eat carrots. Like, he wanted to eat fried chicken.

So he got this fake fried chicken. And they didn't even get to smell. right there in my opinion. It smelled like rubber and chemical. No, like for real, like going back on that, like, I'm, I'm just, look, if I'm doing vegan, I don't even get the illusion of a hot dog. Like, I'm just, would rather eat these asparaguses and whatever the fuck is like, it ain't it. But dude, I'm telling you, that sour cream, like, hot, I love it. The cream cheese is good, but, but yeah, I mean, y'all were right. That lasted about as long as you'd think. Well, you're going to get a million comments of like, you know that stuff is processing just as bad for you. Yeah, your whole point was I don't want to fart immediately when I have there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just trying different stupid stuff.

Like, what the fuck ever, man. I'm not perfect. I'm never going to be. I'm stupid. I'm fat. I'm dumb. I don't hit. Yeah.

What else? What more do people want to know? Like, I suck. I'm a garbage piece of shit. I can't. Everybody loves the show. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had an identical meltdown in front of a stranger on Zoom. two strangers three days ago and it was the hardest I fucking laughed and on that note it was in preparation

of our show which is Friday August 7th at 9 p.m. Eastern you can get tickets on our website well road comedy.com. We're doing a comedy show that you stream you can sit in front of your computer or you can hook it up to your Apple TV or your fire stick.

There's ways on their website they'll show you how to do it. I think it's $15. Is that right? Yeah, $15. All three of us, all new material and what made me think of it just now is if Chos Meltdown on that phone,

about how to structure this show. Is any indication of how funny he's going to be on Friday? It will be the funniest comedy show you've ever seen. Well, I hope. I would like to think that I'm funnier on stage than I am off stage, but I've been told before that that wasn't true. It really, really depends on what you are doing. And then you give him, like, where your heads are in,

and just what degree to which you are actively chowing out. Because, like, when you start, When you, like, have like a meltdown, I mean, yeah, it's hard to touch it. It's hilarious. Talking about how big of a bag of human shit he is in front of a stranger while Trey and I horse laughed. And I think that Corey was horrifying those poor women. Absolutely. There's no way it wasn't.

But our reaction, Trey was making. It made me keep going in. Oh, no, no, no. You're, and I was falling over in the floor until you brought up Granny Bain. and then I called you a piece of shit. Well, like, that's the problem was, like, I literally was chowing out and freaking out and, like, in a moment, but then I saw y'all laughing. And, like, once I saw y'all laughing, I was like, oh, this, this, this, this, this, this

been hit, like, I'm going to hit him with this line. So, like, obviously I was trying to hit. No, no, you're not a bag of shit. It's okay. Well, she told him. Well, my granny died four years ago. Yeah. She pleaded with him to, quote, stop the shame spiral.

yeah that's what he was currently yeah and then yes he said sorry my granny my granny dad four years ago and i'm still not over and they but and what was so they were like oh you poor thing they both went on drew was like you fucking piece of yeah he was like don't say all to that fucking piece of shit you really just said four years ago well and and just like you were you were enjoying their reaction so it's like the women feel terrible and they shouldn't and you just made them feel worse It was pretty fucking awesome. It was pretty sweet. It was like the most reaction I've gotten out of somebody that wasn't y'all in a very long time.

I haven't seen a lot of people, you know. I've been sticking at the house. Yeah, man. The Popeye's family feast. Why has everybody suddenly family with Popeyes hits the table? Feed all those cousins with six pieces of our boldly seasoned signature chicken. Two famous chicken sandwiches, two large mouth-watering sides, and four flaky biscuits. That's enough for cousin coworker, cousin roommate, cousin neighbor, and all his billion

cousin kids. You've got all the cousins coming. Even the ones who aren't really your cousins all for 2999. Love that chicken from Popeye. Limited time to participate in U.S. restaurants prices may vary additional terms apply. All right. Speaking of getting a reaction of people, I was wanting to get into something with y'all.

I don't know how far it will go. I'm not about to, I know every now and then we get into sort of like PC culture and shit. This isn't explicitly about that, but it is indirectly related to it. It's a story I saw recently that I didn't know about until then. First of all, I ask y'all, generally speaking, when do you, like, how many years do you feel like that whole, like, PC culture thing has been going on? Political correctness has been talked about since at least the 90s. That's why

Bill Maher made a show politically incorrect. But the, like, hardcore, you know, white male comedians fighting back against PC culture type shit. Like, how long we've been dealing with that? You mean the annoying kind? Yeah. I'm trying to figure out. Like, I've seen newspaper clippings from like the 50s, 60s, 70s talking about that stuff. I was about say, I don't know the context. I was about to say, like, I just, I was going to kind of say what you said.

Like, I've not only seen those clips, but I've also recently reread the comedians by Cliff Nesterhoff. And like, he kind of gets into a lot of that from the old days and he shows a bunch of articles. And like, I think that it's just, it's always been a problem. It's just the only difference between now and then is like, now there's Twitter.

Now there's Facebook. So, like, everyone that's always felt that way, just says it. And so now there's more think pieces on it where like I don't fucking know, man. Like, but yeah, I guess back then, like George Carlin wasn't going on state. No, I guess he was. I mean,

that's what seven words you can't say on television's about, really. I mean, that's television political correctness. I mean, Lenny Bruce is kind of hot. Yeah, his whole thing. Right. Well, I mean, look, back in the day, like you literally objectively couldn't talk about a huge number of things.

Yeah. You would literally get your cabaret card taken. Talking about it back then. Well, that's a big part of my, like, annoyance with the current day one is like, man, a lot of people got mad at you on the internet. And then they're like, well, you know, and some of it I understand where it's like, this dude got fired over a joke and blah, blah, blah. But some of it, I'm like, I don't know.

It sounds like that guy's fans don't want to be his fans anymore. Like, I don't know what to say about that. So, like, most of the comedians, like I was talking. It was either my dad or I think it was my dad not too long ago. I was like, if you really think about it, all the comedians in the past several years who have been canceled actually like did something illegal

or at the very least insanely perverted. But like as far as just words and stuff to go, I mean like Shane Gillis, yes, that's one that I can. But like he just- The Shane Gillis thing, my stance on that has always been like, dude, Saturday Night Live wasn't for you. I can't believe they hired you.

Like that wasn't as much, that was more Saturday Night Live. being like, oh my God, we hired. But Aziz didn't get fired from nothing, did he? Well, he lost his show, but a lot, but he, he left it, but some people were like, he was forced out and he's not been, it's not being clear since then. He got a Netflix special immediately, though. That was the same network his show was on. So it's hard to imagine them being like, your show's canceled, but you can have a special.

That's what I'm saying, like, what does cancel even mean if you're still going to be able to get stuff? Like, with Shane, it sucks, man. Like, I hate anyone getting fired for a thing they said in the past. I'm sure it wasn't that too far long in the past, but like they just hired him. Saturday Night Live's a place where they're like, look, it'd been one thing if you'd been on here for four or five years crushing,

then we might be like, look, he did a stupid thing in the past, but it's like, we have no reason to take the PR hit for someone who hasn't come on here and prove this. That's just how the fucking world's always been. Well, it also was hard to defend Shane because there was no punchline. Right. Right. Okay.

So the reason I ask is because I just recently found out about an instance of it happening from 2008 and it happened not in the world of comedy, but in the world of sports journalism. So try to get there somewhat briefly. Y'all know me. Everybody that follow sports at all saw a few weeks ago where Deshaun Jackson went a full anti-Semite and was literally quoting Hitler and a piece that ended with,

Hitler was right. A piece that started with Hitler said and ended with Hitler was right, which like you generally don't want to do that. Does Deshaun Jackson thinks that he would have hit for Hitler? Yeah, right. The whole thing was ridiculous, but then a bunch of other athletes came to bat for him at the time talking about like, look, he's just speaking the truth. It's like, no, no, hushed.

Nobody asked you. You ought not be doing that. Yeah, what you should have said was nothing. But anyway, so that was a thing a couple weeks ago, whatever. And when that thing was happening, Jamel Hill, who's a very prominent sports journalist, a black woman sports journalist, been around for a long time, she put out an article about it that was like, the angle of it was basically, here's what Deshaun Jackson did,

and I understand it because I have my own Hitler moment, and I think about it all the time, and I'm ashamed of it, and I've been ashamed of it, and what you've got to reckon with it, so I know where Deshaun's coming from, but here's the thing, I was wrong, and he's wrong, and it's inexcusable, and you can't do that. And that was her new article,

And in the article, she's like, in 2008, I wrote a piece where I compared, I compared rooting for the Boston Celtics to saying that Hitler was a victim. And that's all she wrote in the new piece. And she was like, and that was fucked up or whatever. You read that. And you're like, fucking what? Right. You go back and look at it, though. And in 2008, in the piece she wrote, she was talking about, like, living in Detroit, how much the Celtics don't hit, basically, for the city of Detroit.

Detroit. And then there's a paragraph where she's like, y'all got to understand. Detroit is 80% black. And in Detroit, rooting for the Boston Celtics would be like rooting for unemployment or a plague of locust. It's like wishing dollar, dollar bills and free time on Pac-Man Jones. It's like wanting to hear Ron Artax wraps on repeat. It's like, it's like this. It's like this. It's like saying Hitler was a victim. It's like hoping the pit bull doesn't take Michael Vicks pinky as a Memento, like rooting for Michael Vick against a whole list of things like that. And one of them was the thing about saying Hitler was a victim, right? And she got fucking torn apart for that in 2008.

Like she got... That's because she's a black woman going after the Boston Celtics. Absolutely. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm going to say that, once you say it like how you just said it, I'm like, I'm like, damn fucking bad.

Like, what are you talking about? Well, that's my whole point. You know, like, you go back, like, that's what I'm saying. Like in after Sean Jackson did this thing a couple, couple weeks ago, and she's now 12 years removed from this, she writes a piece now. And in the new piece, she's like, what I said was reprehensible and inexcusable. And I never should have done it. And I feel shame about it to this day and whatever.

And she takes just the one quote without all the context in her own article. And you read that and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. But you go back and read the whole thing. And I was like, I was like, what, dude? This is fucking. It is bullshit. It is bullshit.

that anybody got, it is so clear what she's doing. Yeah. Like she's being hyperbolic for effect. She's saying like terrible, all these unimaginably terrible things that no sane or rational person would ever do. Routing for the Celtics in Detroit was like almost on a level with these crazy things. Like there ain't nothing, there's nothing wrong with that. She shouldn't have been suspended.

She should have apologized. Well, let me agree how much of it is. She's a black woman. How much of it is the way sport. You're not. takes itself very seriously, generally speaking. So is it like that and she's a black woman and all this stuff together? The black woman is the thing going against her the most, I would personally.

And going after Boston specifically, which has these, you know, I would argue a lot of racist white fans, but who are with it enough and savvy enough to latch on to that. But let me play, you don't mind, let me play devil's food advocate for a second. even if you say what she did was wrong, like that kind of joke is unacceptable. I can't think of anybody, and maybe I'm wrong, maybe I don't know enough people, but I can't think anybody who wouldn't at the very least go,

I disagree with both of these, but recognize one is much worse than the other. Like there are people who go, you should never jokingly say that you would make Hitler the victim, but they would acknowledge that you did it in jest, and then they would say, you know, jokes are hurtful, and jokes make it acceptable for someone like Deshaun Jackson to make these comments.

They would make all these arguments, but no one would say it's the same thing as literally saying Hitler is right. Right. I would argue that defending Deshawn Jackson is worse than the goddamn jokes she made. Without a doubt. Yeah, I agree. And, well, it's like, okay, A, she was the one conflating the two herself in a new article that she wrote. But B, in defense of Deshaun Jackson, right? No, that's what I was going to say.

B, she was not at all, she was not at all defending what Deshawn Jackson did. She was trying to be like, Deshaun, I know what it's like because I've been there. And because I've been there, I can tell you you need to understand you cannot do that shit. And you should apologize for it. And it is unacceptable. And whatever, that type. That was like her angle. But it wasn't defending him.

It was trying to like say, you know, I know because I've been there myself and it's inexcusable and you should never do it. But I'm with you, they're not at all the same fucking thing. Well, look, if Jamel, if Jamel feels bad about making that joke, if she made it in ignorance and someone like, you know, pointed out to her that that makes people feel uncomfortable, and she decided for herself it's wrong to make those kinds of jokes, that's fine. But it's still, it's like, there's got to be levels to, I mean, again,

people make off-color jokes and you can go, that's racist or that's wrong, or you shouldn't do that, or maybe that makes me wonder about that person. But when someone is straight up, hey man, Hibler was right about this thing. It's like, I don't even know where do we go from you. I don't have to explain anything. You just are saying it. Yeah, so an example of that is like,

when I say recently, it's been within the pandemic or whatever. Randy Orton, who's a WWE superstar, one of their biggest fucking top dudes. He was doing a live stream video game. He was playing along and you could like hear him and stuff like that. And he shot a dude in the video game. And when he

did, he said, boom, inward, like, with the A, you know, with the A, but it was very under his breath and no, you're wrong. He shouldn't have done, but he got a lot of shit for it from people like, babe, some pouty recorded. And it's like, Randy Orton saying that. And W.W.E. didn't fire him or nothing, you know, it was what they, it got swept under pretty bit. Realistically, it's because it's like, it just really wasn't that big of a deal. Nobody gave that much of a fuck. And then a lot of people were saying like, well, this is bullshit because the W. W.E. fired Hulk Hogan for saying the end. word. So what's the difference? What's the difference in this? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like,

well, here's the difference. Hulk Hogan got fired because there was a tape of him saying that I would never want my daughter to marry a beep. That's different than just saying, yo, what up, my, like, I know that they're the same word. I get that they're, that, yes, technically the same word came out of this person. And both wrong. Both wrong, but way different levels. Way different levels. Like one was probably a drunken high, stupid mistake that he shouldn't have done. But one had. But one had. so much just bad intent behind it. Like, they're not the same thing. I know that a lot of these people want to believe so bad that we live in a black and white world where it's like, well, he said it and he said it. What's the difference? There's a fucking huge difference and you

goddamn know it. Like, you know, when you hear something if something's worse. Right. It's, it's context and intent are like the two factors that should be taken into account in any of these instances. And yeah, a lot of times, a lot of people, but they're just like the reactionary online assholes who live to do shit like that. But a lot of times those people, though, they purposefully go out of their way to ignore those context and intent. And that don't know for me. That pisses me off.

No, it's always, it's been the whole like refusing to believe that we live in a gray world. That pisses me off so bad. It's also dangerous, in my opinion, in the times we're living in because we're, you know, and by the way, the feds left Portland. I want to mention that. It's very positive news. Oh, that does it. briefly on here.

Well, I don't know if they left. They didn't go out. Probably went to go get more guns. Yeah, they didn't go out at night for the first time. And guess what, guys? It was super peaceful. It's crazy how they happened. A wonder about change.

And of course, they're taking credit for it. Like, see, we cleaned up all the bad guys. It's like, yeah, you literally left last night. I love that. Go ahead. That aside. My only point was just like when we're living in a time where like people are being swept up off the street for exercising their First Amendment rights

by groups that have been infiltrated by literal white. supremacist. I'm not saying it's okay for Randy Orton to say that. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that when we're focusing on one, right, come on. And look, fuck Ellen. But when we're trying to get her fired for being mean and like not putting any energy towards like literal fucking sweeping people up the street and kid that come on. It's dangerous. It's in my opinion. No, I, no, I agree with you fucking 100%. Like, and I'm a huge, uh, uh, advocate of like, you know, of saying, hey, well, it's possible to worry about two things at once because it is like there'll be a lot of things times where like you know something

actually terrible will happen and somebody like really we got all this going on that's what you want to worry about I'm like no I'm I'm worried about that other thing too sure you know you can be worried about both like we literally can't just focus on one thing at a time because like right now we have you know feds in cities like Portland and and and we've got black people getting shot and then we've also got this fucking pandemic so what I'm saying because we have all that no it don't matter Ellen shit don't fucking matter but like if that it's fine if I know there's going to be a couple like studio execs that have to worry about it. That's their fucking job.

But like, you know, no man, you're right. Like there's no energy. Right. But kind of what, kind of on what you're saying, Corey, like, no,

it definitely doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. But like you were alluding to, like both things can be true. Like, yeah, we don't have to expend a whole lot of energy as just like a society, people who can't do anything about it. About it,

right. Caring that much about that versus like Portland or other things. I agree with that, but that don't mean that she ought not face consequences for being the way that, you know what I mean? Absolutely. And I'm sure. Both things are true. Yeah. Are you up for the job?

Trey, is that what's going on? Yeah. You want to make sure. No. And I hear you. It's just that like I don't give a fuck. Trey Crowder is trying to get a lesbian fire. It's unbelievable.

Like I would like, honest to God, man, I really wish that we lived in a world where I'd be like, yeah, let's get into the Ellen thing. But like, I don't care. like it doesn't it doesn't even make a dent and shit right now i'm not even trying to say i don't care yeah it's just like man it's just it feels dangerous when we divert some attention to it no i agree i agree with you 100% and they want us they want us to do that they're so glad that this is that ellen is going on they hope that fucking they find out that jimmy phallon you know slams motherfuckers fingers in their doors they can't wait for that to be a thing right i i am going to be a hypocrite and now to convert or put some energy towards something that isn't it doesn't

matter in my world. I guess it matters in some people's world if it happened to them. But this was just wild to me, and I'm curious y'all's thoughts on it. I don't know Brian Callan. Brian Callan's a comedian. He was associated with Chris DeLea. Chris DeLea, I think we talked about briefly on here, gotten to some

accusations that he solicited nude photos from girls who happened to be underage that he met on the internet when he found out they were underage according to some reports, he kept doing it. Brian Callan, one of his friends, he's older. Some accusations have come up from his past

a varying degrees the reason I'm bringing it up is he has said that he's innocent and then he named PC culture as like I'm not going to let PC culture ruin now look I don't I'm not saying Brian Cowan is

guilty or not guilty and I'm not trying to and I'm also not saying that these girls who are claiming that he did these horrible things I'm not wanting to diminish that that's the most important thing but whether or not you rape somebody has nothing to do with PC. That's insane to me. If you're literally, not somebody else, not that somebody you're a fan of got accused of rape and you blame it on PC culture. You literally have felonies at

your doorstep and you're still, I mean, at least he's committed to the damn bit. He's literally blaming PC culture for being blamed for rape. Well, and that's the thing. Like, I'm not saying that it's not possible for someone to be fucking lying and, you know, I'm not saying, but it's If that's true and some girl is literally lying and saying that Brian. Right. Then what does I have to do with PC culture? That's just a fucking crazy person did a thing to you. You know what I mean?

I don't know. It's not like, it's like somebody was sitting there and they were like, we have got to take. We've got to take Brian Callan down. It's their devil. It's the devil. Like my mama growing up with a devil. I don't know enough. I don't disagree.

I'm very vaguely aware of the whole situation you're talking about, but I don't know the details. And I also didn't see the video where you blamed on that. I don't either for the record. Like, it was written. One thing I, okay, I don't know why I said PC culture, but, and again, I'm not educated on this specific thing, the specific case we're talking about, but I do feel like cancel culture and PC culture are often intertwined. And I think cancel culture is a thing where like, without having read it, what he's saying

is an online lynch mob coming after me because of an accusation that I'm telling you is not true and it's one accusation and whatever and everybody coming after me saying that I should be canceled as a result of that. I think that's bullshit and I don't and I'm not going to give into that. If that is what it said, I would I would understand why he wrote it that way. Sure. But if it's saying if it says PC culture, I don't I don't know. I agree with you that I don't know. I don't know what that specifically has to do with it. Well, I guess you're right. He's if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I Yes, you're right. He's, if I'm not mistaken, and that's what went down, I guess he has conflated the two.

And I understand what you're saying. Without commenting on whether or not anybody did anything, you would understand someone who's going to defend themselves being like, I'm not afraid of cancel culture or whatever. But even that to me is kind of crazy. It's like, I know what you mean about them getting conflated. And I guess to some extent I understand how they're conflated and why they're connected to each other. but even that I'm a little bit because you can be cancelled for either one like you can be canceled for

not being the sexual assault all that type of the me too stuff but you also can be canceled for the PC stuff it's just revealing to me cancel culture so they can they're related in that without trying to comment on this dude's guilt or innocence it's very fucking revealing to me

that he equates rape and making a joke with the word queer in it as like a similar thing that people get you know those people are always mad about dumb shit you know like jokes and uh me riffing and uh me assaulting a girl like that's we'll see and again and i'm not what i'm about to say from this point forward has zero to do with brian count but what is just going to comment on what you just said which is that i was having i've had several conversations where with people from around here relatives non-relatives that were just like

aren't you worried about what's going on with like how people are getting canceled but i was like well I mean look I think sometimes maybe the pendulum has swung too much and some people get crazy but like realistically I haven't seen anybody who just get canceled for saying a just one no-no thing that like all their fans didn't leave and someone was like really with this stuff that's happening to louis cK and i was like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on hold on he fucking like jerked off the crime like that's a crime like that's not that's not the same thing like are you really sitting here going like god damn people these days won't even just let you fuck and sit there and jerk off in front of them in a goddamn hotel. That's sort of why I brought it up. It's like the fact that those two things are being conflated. Yeah, it's weird. Like that's weird.

Yeah, like, dude, I will probably, if you made up an in bad taste joke, as long as I kind of knew what you were trying to do and I think you did, I'll defend the shit out of you. I'm a comedian. Like I've, Lord knows I have. Right. In words and stuff, I'll be like, look, they didn't mean that. That sucks.

I get why. Look, if you don't want to be a fan of them anymore, or I can't tell you not to be. Obviously, nobody can. That's just how that goes. But like, yeah, I mean, crimes, though, is not the same thing. And it shouldn't be labeled as the same thing. Like, I don't get how that's weird.

I guess the, let me just, I'm trying to think of the counter argument. I guess it would be, well, y'all are the ones treating them the same. And I don't think that's true, but I guess they feel that way. Like a part of their defense is, but to be clear, Brian Cowan was accused of crimes. not a making off-color jokes. Because I was about to say, like, Brian Callan's in that, like, he's in that rogan crew, like, when it comes to just

words and stuff, those dudes are fairly okay. They're untouchable. Yeah, like literally, like, word, it doesn't matter. They're uncannseable. Their fans don't give a fuck. And that's, by the way, fucking good for them. That's fucking awesome. But, like, yeah. I argue all the time that their mere,

their success proves that this cancel culture about words thing is, if not bullshit, it's over. stated. It's over-hyped up, you know? Right. Like if look, they make all kinds of jokes and their lives, give them money. Right. As I said, we live in a world where like, our, uh, you, like, one person can cancel me, but if fucking 15,000 people still want to come to my show, then who gives a fuck? Like, I'm still getting the money. But like that, that fucking, that bar still lunatic. That's crazy. He is, he is crazy. But like, the other day, he's, he even said he's like, dude, somebody was talking about him being canceled for saying something. He's like, do you understand who the

fuck my fan? He's like, I go on Fox News every night. I can't. I can't. be canceled. Like for, like, now he could be accused and convicted of a crime and therefore the law could, but like, yeah, no, he's correct. Like, that dude literally can say whatever the fuck he wants. And if somebody starts giving him shit about it, he gets more fans because then there's the fucking conservative see that and they're like, who is it, these Lib Tars? These Democrats are trying to cancel again. I fucking like this guy. Who eats pizza, Randy? Come here. You know, so. Well, I will say I just recognized or realize part of the celebrity thing in this country that leads to celebrities of all types and shapes becoming assholes is their belief they can get away with anything

and it is their fans that make them feel that so I can see that it's dangerous but it's still it's got to be different uncancable in terms of I can make whatever jokes I want versus seemingly saying I'll do whatever crimes I want yeah that's way different they should yeah of course absolutely. But I, there, like, there are absolutely a certain type of person on the internet, right? Who, and Corey alluded to this earlier, I think we're talking about Ellen or something. He's like, no, he's talking about Jimmy Fallon. Like, they want him to be a fuck-up. They want him to be a monster.

Like, they want that to happen so they can all just like, you know, fucking lather up and go in on him and call for his head and all this shit on the internet. And I mean, I think that's true. Oh, for the record. I may have been misinterpreted. I meant like the government wants that to happen right now. I knew what you meant. Okay. But I still believe what you just said about how you interpreted what I said.

I do also believe that too. But I was specifically talking about how like right now because of the Black Lives Matter and the pandemic, the government is like, yes, Ellen, throw her to the world. Yes. Okay. Well, likewise, I also agree with that. It was actually crazier. Yeah.

No, I mean, I agree. agree with that. You're right. They definitely serves them, but I mean, there's absolutely a type of, a type of internet dweller. Yeah. Who, like, is just chomping at the bit to go after anybody of any

with any kind of profile. Yeah, probably never fucked with it in the first place. Okay, but that's the way they're the same. I guarantee you, if you go right now, you're going to find a million Rogan fans on a Rogan Reddit talking about how Ellen should be fired and blah, blah, blah. Like, they're just as cancely. They want, they they want their enemies fired too.

Right. The people I'm talking about are the ones that want people cancel and want everybody cancel just because it hits for them to see people go down. Right. What I'm saying is, because they don't hit.

There's a comedian who we don't, we're not friends with, but I know him. I think I started following him on Instagram because we did a show together, who is always talking about how bullshit cancel culture is and has all week been calling for Ellen's head.

Yeah. Because to him, she represents hypocrisy and fakeness. I understand that he thinks that's consistent because he's like, you cancel people for jokes, but not someone who's actually made to their staff or whatever. But I'm like, but dude, what are we? It's just our team. It's not about the integrity of cancel culture versus free speech.

It's your team. You just pull them for your team. Right. Yeah. I mean, that's it. I got to go on that note. I'm starving and the food's got here. She's had a good career.

So enjoy your food. Yeah. I think she's, by the way, I think she's uncanceable. The way that Joe Rogan is uncans. I think Ellen is unconsorable. Yeah, they'll fire her whole staff, but she'll be on that guy. They're already doing it.

They're already blaming her producers. Every fucking headline is about how mean her producers. Yeah, dude, because that's the thing about her is she can just, there will be someone that she can just be like, hey, I'm going to give you $10 million, but you have to have a press conference and you're the one that did all of this. And they'll be like, all right. Fuck, yeah.

Like, she, I was listening to a podcast with a pretty, a comedian that other comedians know, it's been around a long time and has written for a lot of other comics and a lot of shows and stuff. and he has read he this guy i'm talking about his reputation for being like a good dude a nice guy he can say his name if he said it on the podcast yeah you're right it was gregg fit Simmons that's who i thought it was Greg fitzsons as a yeah he has a reputation a good a good dude and not shitting on people or whatever and in the podcast the host started

asking him about all these people he worked with and he was like and you know be honest with me give me your honest opinion of what's like to work with this person and it's like you know Dennis miller and he's like this miller you know Dennis miller's got a reputation for being but in my experience, he's not, he's not, he's just an ultra professional. Chelsea Hamler, Chelsea Hanler, got a reputation for being a little difficult, not my experience. I think she's a, I think she's a genius. Like, he was going out of his way to, like, compliment all these, like,

people who are like famously not that. Exactly. Every one of them. And Fitzsimmons also worked for Ellen, and then the host goes, Ellen DeGeneres, and he just goes, who's next on that list, you guys? and he went on and he just went on to the next one who was like David Letterman or something and he called a prince you know and they kept going but she was literally literally the only one that he didn't make any kind of excuse for or whatever the whole time and I thought that was

very telling I don't know I totally believe every bit of that shit I do too and I don't know look I don't know any of this stuff to be true it's all allegations however I will say this it just in my career and it's not all of them but i have noticed that if you're a very clean comedian who tries not to offend and blah blah blah you go with sometimes you just end up being oh i'm sorry i didn't mean to be doing something specific but like not even not even on that level of doing bad shit but just i'd always found out like i would i would work with dudes on the road not going to mention any names and like they were billed as this clean there the night there were fucking nightmares whereas like the dude

wearing the leather jacket smoking a cigarette calling you a con you, he's awesome, he'll pick you up at the bar, you don't give up, you know what I mean? Like that shit, it sometimes works that way. Being nice does not equate to being good. But that's true too, that's true too, but also like, yeah, I don't know, it's just like when

you have that facade, it's like this was very this was carved, it seems. Here's my thing though, this is my personal opinion on it. If she is the nightmare and it seems like she might be a nightmare. Because of how funny she was, because of she came out on Oprah and she came out on her show and all these things she did she totally gets a pass in terms of I think she deserves all the money she's made me too I don't like and I never like this as soon as I started hearing that she was a horrible person the adoration she gets for being a heroic yeah yeah person yeah because it's like we don't have she's not we can just say she's a pioneer and an icon and that could be fucking true that's true and I because I always think it was like you know as long as she didn't actually commit any crimes like I do think she deserved all the money and And, like, I also, in this industry, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it was for Ellen to get to where she is.

Panny can't even, not only being a woman, but coming up the time she did in being gay, I literally cannot imagine that. And so there's been always been a little bit of me that was like, she's allowed to be cuts a little bit of a monster because of what I know they did to her. You know what I'm saying? But now I don't feel, she's got half a billion dollars. I don't feel bad for her for nothing. But like, it had to be rough for her coming up. Well, here's the last thing I was. Stop putting people on a pedestal.

Please, please, please don't put it. I'll get drunk and fall off of it. Please don't. I constantly knock myself off every week on this podcast just for this. So, all right, guys, come to our, get tickets. Wellredcom. W-E-L-R-E-D Comedy.com for our August 7th show, live streaming. We love you.

Check out all our other shit we got going on. And, skew. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune it next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you good night and skew.