wellRED podcast - #195 What if god killed himself lol

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Among other things (such as Avocado toast, ugg boots, and hiking) this week Trae poses the age old question "What if God was here but didn't like it and then just fucked off forever?" WellREDcomedy.com for tickets and merch and shitSponsors:UnitedHarvest.com Promo Code WELLRED for 20% off some REAL DAMN GOOD MEATTalkSpace.com promo code WELLRED for 100 bucks off your first month!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?

Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app

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language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app,

lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money.

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

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and on Target.com. They're the liberal red necks day like cornbread, but sex they care way too much but don't give a fun. They're the next that makes some people

upset but they got three big old dicks that you can There's a specific type of ugg that when you hear ugg boots you automatically think of that one and they don't look good or hit. You might still be able to tell but you wouldn't be like, oh my God, those are, you know what I'm saying? Like they don't, they just look like regular boots. Again, with no pride.

I may. I'd have to see them, but like I don't like round boots. Yeah, okay, sure, sure. But they still, they don't look like the fucking, like I said, like an eno's neck. Like they're different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at the same time. Joe's Nazi boots.

No. No. We're not actually. All right. No. We were talking about being 33 and now just now learning all these things that people have told him so a lot like, oh, I don't feel like shit because I didn't drink for five days. Or I'm regular now that I'm eating healthy.

Well, and also like I'm walking like literally bare minimum like seven to eight miles every single day. And it's really, okay, let me preface it by saying this. because I have the type of job that I'm able to just fuck off and go to the woods for two hours and that's fine, it is easy. If I was someone that had a nine to five and I had kids to grab and stuff, like you would have to go, I really don't have time to do that. But because I do, it, like, I've had so much fucking fun. Like, I look, every day I get up and I'm like, if I don't go on this walk, I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. Whereas like any other type of like extra, it's the perfect type of exercise for me is what I'm saying. Like, I'm not having to go, oh, I better go do this.

Like, I got to go. And he would say he felt dumb for like just now thinking of this. And I'm eating real good too. Like, because there's, it's me. When I walk seven to eight miles, my brain does this thing where it's like, don't eat no bullshit because then it ruins your walk. Like that shit wasn't worth like that extra four miles you did that wasn't worth it. And also just feel better.

And every day I feel like I have unlocked some sort of DaVinci code. And it's just this is what some people be. do, you know. And say to do. And say to do. And have been for a long time. And I was like, oh my God, how could I ever discipline myself to do that? And really, it just, I just went out to the woods and started walking. I was like, oh, this is nice. Right. So so far in this recap, Trey, you're still going, okay. And then you started talking about his Nazi hiking boots. Yeah. Yeah, I still don't. I don't know where the boots came into all that. Then what happened was I said, no, no, no, I totally identify with that. And I think you'll identify

with this tray. Because I'm like, I'm like, like that with white people's shit. I had to get avocado toast in Marfa, Texas, which I always thought was the dumbest fucking, it's a stupid phrase. It just sounds dumb. It is. Yeah.

But it was the only protein they had, and I was starving at this coffee shop we were at. It was unreal. And then I was saying, like, Jay Crew, I got a Jay Crew shirt at a thrift store, and it lasted eight years. It just won't wear out.

You know, it's like, oh, right. That's why these people are doing this because it hits. Not because they're fucking stupid. And then he brought up Hugboots, and we just started talking about. how those don't hit for me visually no matter what otherwise. Yeah, well, but they are quality boots, is my point. Right.

The first major thing, I've been through a lot of that exact circumstance with Katie over the years. And the first major one I can remember is fucking Lulu Lemon. Like, fuck Lulu Lemon as a, you know, record label and a crew and all that, or whatever. The guy who, the guy who founded it is a monster, but frankly, a pretty hilarious monster. Yeah, for sure. Because he's like talked about. fire. No fat chicks and all this stuff and like just saying that publicly or whatever.

It's pretty funny. You know, and shitty, obviously. It's just funny that, like, he would have the audacity to do that. I'm not sure if he's even still with him, but he's a real bad of shit. He's not. Which is why it's funny. I think why it's funny and why it's honestly kind of refreshing just because it's like, in the world where like we're always having to find out that people are bags of shit,

when someone just puts the tits on the glass, you're like, all right, well, at least I know where you stand. Dude, now that Donald Trump lost, I love his Twitter. Yeah, it's awesome. Okay, I want to talk about, yeah, let's talk about that, please, in just a second, but just to finish what I was saying, having said all of that, like, I don't ever, I never spend my, well, this isn't true, because Katie spends my money on it. I don't ever go out and purchase Lulu Lemon attire, but Katie buys a lot from, I'm wearing Lulu Lemon pants right now.

And, like, all that shit and all the white woman jokes and everything aside, like, there stuff hits to wear. Dude, it's really high quality. It's super fucking comfortable. And it's like, you know, I wore a Lulu Lemon pullover to hike. And like, it's absolutely, it kept me the perfect temperature the whole time. Some bitch is wicks. You know what I mean?

Like, it fits good. It's stretchy. And I've had it for a while. And you know me when I wear something, like I put shit through it. And I mean, it looks just like I just pulled it off the rack. So I mean, yeah. dude some every now and then when you pay $120 on something it was worth $120 if you're going to be someone that keeps up with it and you don't have to buy another one you talking about my

you think about my hat I love this episode now I'm thinking of Thompson listen to the lily lemon section well okay we're not sponsored by lulu lemon by the way can'tle and hand for now god damn let me say that I believe I know 100% in my heart that everything you're saying is true there ain't no way if somebody bought it for me I guess I can't, there's no way I can walk into a Lilloo Lemon store. Doug Morgan will be in the front of my fucking cortex, like as I walked into the store. A Lululemon, both them things suck. Let me tell you that right now.

For the record, and maybe to defend you a little bit, you wouldn't even have to have that type of mindset about it. None of that shit is like, that ain't your style. You know what I mean? That's true. I'm sure there's a like your, like a whatever your style is version of Lulu Lemon and you probably would fucking outfitting. probably. Probably. But like if people bought it for you like dude their t-shirts are you know quality but like yeah, Lulu Lemon like I've never seen you wear anything that I would even think comparable and that's not an insult. You're just, you're, that ain't your style. You're a fall colors type guy.

I wear Andy's clothes. Yeah. I wear Andy's clothes and denim and flannel. Like I'm a lesbian. And for a while. Yeah, I've been lesbians as I was eight. Have we even clarified what we mean by Cho's Nazi boots? Like no. No. Because Cho takes all these hikes through the woods, he bought a pair of hiking boots and he replaced the laces with a shiny new set of red laces. And I asked, I said, isn't that a Nazi thing? And we looked it up and it's unclear whether it still is or not. But neo-Nazis, like, but they use steel-toe boots. Choos are a little more white woman either not as, not quite as hardcore.

And also, apparently, it's not just the red. It's a specific lacing style that they use that indicates to other Nazis that they are Nazis. So I was kind of right, but it depends on how Cho Laced them up. But it would be so funny if that, like, if you also did that part, if you, like, laced them a certain way because you thought it looked better, but just happened to hit the exact, like, Nazi combination. Just walking around Chickamauga, people were like, we knew he'd come around. Well, people in the, people out in the Civil War battlefield for a totally different reason. Yeah. You're just there for exercise.

They're there for worship or whatever. And they see you, and they're like, hey, brother, hell yeah. Well, for the record, they're laced like they, they're laced like they came. And also, again, I'm certain that all this is fucking true. And I've just bought goddamn Nazi boots because why wouldn't I? I literally cannot ever just make a decision to better my life without some hilarious consequence. But I don't give a shit because these are literally, these are the only shoes I own that are like for a specific, like they're actually four. I use them for what they, what they're fur.

Like they're only going out in the woods with me. And I, you're not going to wear me anymore else. Fuck no. No, they're four. I mean, dude, they're filthy right now because the reason I got them is because the trails that I walk on, like, they kind of flood easily. And I got them to be waterproof so I could just walk through some of these puddles instead of having to like hike extra parts through the woods to get around them. So like, no, I ain't ever going to wear them anywhere but the woods. And when I'm in the woods, God damn it, I'm by myself.

And frankly, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I won't maybe people to think I'm a Nazi if I'm out there. So maybe they won't come talk to me. But to your point, where I'm from, it might be someone that's like, hey, you know. Yeah, let's go with. Like, you remember, like, y'all, so, don't even ask for this any of our listeners,

because it doesn't even exist anymore. I don't remember if this one ever even got completed, but we did, we used to, every now and get together and try to do some sketches, and we did a sketch once that we filmed in Chickamauga. It was actually, it was actually in Ford O, but it was that, yeah, but whatever. Right by the battlefield.

It was in that area. And the sketch was making fun of the Ku Klux, Klan. It was making fun of how they like will hold bake sales and adopt highways and all this like community bullshit when they're the Klan. So it was very anti-Klan sketch. Yeah, we're not for them. No, we're not pro Klan. But to make fun of the Klan in a sketch, you have to have, in our case, Corey, wear a Klansman outfit. It looked a lot like this. How are people even going to know? But so we're filming this sketch. Corey's where he used to live at his whole grandma's house and Corey's in a Klansman's outfit and

like a couple of people rode by I wanted to like put a goddamn poster board up in the front or something it was like, Klan don't hit for us. We're making fun of the Klan. Shooting sketch. Yeah, yeah. But like a cover like I think it only happened once or twice, but a couple times somebody had arrived by with Corey was like out in the garage and his Klansman outfit and they'd like honk the horn. Like, well, yeah, boy. And there's, because you know, because that hit for them. They thought it was just a Klansman, you know, about to work on his truck or whatever. And that's the fucking crazy.

For some reason. And that's what's so crazy is like that literally is the only way that they would honk is if it hit for them. Like nobody was, there was no hipster ironically honking or like nobody driving by that like in their mind put it together like I bet they're doing a sketch and are funny. Hilarious sketch, bro. I just imagine someone like DJ finding one of them and their dad. closet. I don't want to let it go away. It's just cutting the hood off and wearing it to work on their truck. You know, what, it protects me. I don't get grease on my goddamn clothes.

Speaking of DJ, I would like for the audience to know that he was there too right beside me wearing a clown outfit. Yes, because we did, I just like, we did a fucking hit sketch. Clam, clang! Clown! We did a companion sketch where DJ showed up to film the clan sketch, dressed as a clown. I was like, what? I thought we'd do it. I thought it was clowns. It's a clown.

But in the clan sketch, he's just dressed as a clown. And if you didn't see the companion sketch, the meta one or whatever, that never made sense in the other one. No. Fucking smoking a cigarette. He's like, oh, clan?

I thought it was clown. Clan, clown. Clan, clown. No, I'm done it my head, buddy. Let's just shoot it. That was, that was five years. No, no, no.

That was six years ago last month. Isn't that crazy? It is crazy. Some ways it feels longer. Some ways it feels way shorter. For sure. That's exactly I feel about it, too. It feels like it could be 15 years ago.

Yeah. But also like, yeah. We need to repurpose that goddamn clan sketch, because y'all just got me good talking about that. That was a fucking hit. That's funny. We've talked about it before. We got to stop letting nonches take everything, though.

I agree, man. I agree, like, dude, the first hit that happened to me personally, the worst thing of Trump's presidency for me was that, dude, we've said this before. Trucker hat is my favorite style of hat. The Georgia Bulldogs are my favorite team. their main color is red red trucker hat has been my go-to for a very long time and that shit's gone for a long time like i don't know how long it's going to be i'm talking we're talking 20 years

before i'm going to feel comfortable wearing a red goddamn trucker hat again and that is fucking bullshit and sad yeah yeah don't hit uh don't hit it's not like i was walking around doing this all the time and i'm making the okay symbol for people that are just listening right now but that becoming a nazi thing is bullshit in my opinion I know that they started this. We've already been over this at Lizard people. I'm not trying to get back into the... But yes, the fact that...

I'm still mad about it. I'm not a Nazi thing pisses me off because it was the perfect thing to call rich assholes who I talk shit about all the time. And now you can't do it. And I realize now, apparently that was never okay to do because that's a Nazi thing too. And it's like...

Yeah. Just fucking... Well, they invented that. They didn't invent Hawaii shirts, God damn it. I know, but like, we... We took it. We weren't able to take it. stuff from them.

Yeah, we did it to them. They're always taking stuff from us. We feel like to take stuff from them. I know they invented the lizard thing, but we took it, made it not about Jews. And then, you know, they shouldn't be able to just still. I don't know.

What are we going to? Remember your joke? Remember your joke about making the rebel flag ramp? Do it. Yeah. I just don't see that. It don't, we just don't work like that.

Like, what can we take from them? And then, like, that's the brilliance of their shit. Like, what are we going to do? Like, literally just start, be like, wearing swastikas and shit and just being like no fuck them they don't get this like well lizard we took lizard people yeah but yeah but like successfully yeah but thought because I didn't even know for years I said lizard people and didn't even know that Nazis came up with it until very recently I think that was their plan I think I think their plan was to make it so innocuous that we wouldn't think it was them

and then later they could flip that around and be like look you see these people people saying this, that's a Nazi thing. And then we defeat ourselves, you know what I mean? Like a proximity mind of liberalism. And we talk all this shit about rich people. You're giving them too much credit. And we talk all this shit about rich people, but say that. And then when they're recruiting, they go, see, everybody knows the Jews are evil.

Look at all these people who agree with us. And it's like, you know what I mean? I'm saying. I think that was their plan. I'm saying. God damn. They didn't have a plan. They just started calling Jews lizard.

fuck out of here. Dude, for them to not have had a plan, they've been around for a long time doing some pretty wild shit. Yeah, that's the whole thing with like the Republicans right now and Trumpism in general is they seem dumb,

but they keep winning. Those are just a lot of... A lot of dumb. A lot of dumb and they're motivated. Cycling back to Trump being funnier now that he's like lost, which like, you know, still, I just want an inauguration day

to have come and go. on him to just be out of the White House and all. Because it's still very scary. But Corey sent a tweet yesterday that I couldn't stop laughing at because of course Mark had to show up and fucking fucking explain the reality of the situation and make it hit less. God damn it. But before he did that, I thought this was just a completely random Trump tweet that he just tweeted out of nowhere.

Well, for the record, so did I, and I shared it as such. I'm trying to find it right now. I'm going to have to search for it because we've already said so much other stupid bullshit in the thread. Would it be easier to find it on Twitter? I did. Hey, Trey, you want me to change your life? Okay, never mind.

Well, what? You don't know how to hit... Was it a picture I said? Yeah. It was a screenshot. Yeah, you could cycle through the media. But still, I just typed in John Bolton in the text. search or whatever.

Yeah. Right to it. Anyway, a tweet from Donald Trump yesterday, Sunday, November 15th at 2.20 p.m. And just as far as I can tell, seeming that out of nowhere, it says, John Bolton was one of the dumbest people in government that I had the, quote, pleasure to work with. A sullen, dull, and quiet guy, he added nothing to national security except, quote, gee, let's go to war.

also legally released much classified information a real dope i got a couple things to say aside from the fact that that's one of the funniest fucking tweets i've ever heard in my life and i don't mean just like you know trump will fuck around and on accident tweet something that's pretty hilarious like this was purposefully i mean i think as you said no fat on this tweet like it's a great it's a great fucking tweet i have a i have a thing to say that's it That is, that either was not Donald Trump that tweeted that or Donald Trump is finally just now starting to tweet on his own. But both, one of those things is true. I've never heard this man even approach the use of the word sullen in the correct way before. And like the fucking quotes, like none of it.

If I was a teacher, I would look at this as plagiarism because he's never existed. Like he's never done the G. That's, dude, he's, he's trying a lot of. a new shit out. He's work shopping a lot of new shit is what I'm saying and it's pretty fucking funny. It's funny because on one hand it sounds like well I think

I agree with everything you just said as far as the competency level of it. First of all like you said no fat on this tweet every single syllable devoted to one purpose and one purpose only outlining how much John Bolton does not his fucking. The piece of fucking shit

the stupid, ugly, sad piece of shit that John Bolton is just out of nowhere. And he really makes his case, I got to say. Oh, dude. For the record, I'm with you. I think that's part of it. All the things you say, all the things you said about how it doesn't seem like him,

I agree with sullen the, like, clever usage of the quotation marks or whatever. But in a lot of other ways, like it sounds exactly like Donald Trump, because again, it's so funny. He still is the president right now. Yeah. Lame duck or not, he still is the president. And it's so funny. me that, and I know he's been doing this for four years, but it doesn't make it on a Sunday, though.

The American president on a Sunday just out of nowhere, just John Bolton was one of the dumbest people in government that I've had the pleasure to work with. It's like, it's so unpresidential, but so very him, I don't know, it was just absolutely killing me yesterday. But yeah, apparently John Bolton had come out and said, like, there's no way it was some conspiracy theory that the election. was stolen and that pissed Trump off. But I thought he was just sitting there and just pictured John Bolton's stupid fucking face. And you know who else can go fuck himself? Yeah, John Bolton.

Fuck that. Motherf. Dumb sad motherfucker. Like it was just the fourth verse of a fucking cipher. And he just was running out of shit. And quiet. Quiet's doing a lot of work there for some reason for me. It's the only one that's not on its face.

It's none of it's not on its face like an insult. but there's something about it where he doesn't talk all day and then he goes gee let's go to war yeah dumps in like board conference meetings or whatever with this head of the CIA who's like contemplative in the corner the way that I would expect a spied master to be yeah yeah and Trump is sitting there just like every now and thinking like what the fuck is his problem say something you fucking dope are you so quiet you fucking dope look at it fuck the in there. Look at this sullen piece of shit.

God, it's so funny. Corey, I hear what you're saying, but I think it's in line with what he tweets. It's just directed at someone we don't like. And he's not threatening to me now, which is dumb. He still is threatening.

No, I hear you. I just feel bad. It's not, no, I totally feel you. Like now, like, yeah, it's like you cut Jamie Lannister's hand off or something like that.

You know what I mean? Like this, this like feared blood. Now it's like you can't do shit. to me. What the fuck ever. Fuck you. You know, Kingslayer, yada, yada, yada. But like, I'm not, I don't even mean like, because there is that. There is that like, oh, well, now that Trump's going in on somebody I also hate, I can take it. It's just that like, I feel like us as a group, like we're pretty comedian first. We're pretty like, look, it's like Chappelle on the monologue

and Serent Life when he was talking about, he's like, Donald Trump called the coronavirus, the cung flu. And I was like, you racist. hilarious motherfucker. Like I feel like we still always give credit where credit is due. It just, it was, there wasn't enough capitalization, the quotes through,

it was just a fucking real good tweet, man. I can't say enough about this tweet. It might be the drugs. Maybe. He used to be on Coke and now he's on anato. Right. I don't know, man,

but it was just a fucking, I mean, to me, the best tweet of his presidency and that's saying a lot. Yeah, he's really improved in that regard. And, you know,

when it comes to improve, improving yourself. You know what's great? Talk space. I agree. Am I right? Do you agree? I do agree.

People always think about therapy. Oh, it's too expensive. But, you know, let's have some real talk. How much you spend on coffee every day or another sweatsuit that you don't need? We're like listening to this podcast with this copy, me and my Lulu Lemon. And is that stuff, is that stuff more important than your mental health? No. With Talkspace, you can take care of your mental health without dipping in to your savings account.

Corey. Yeah, I mean, right now, look, we're. all full-time workers, chefs, housekeepers, teachers, and babysitters in our own homes. We're trying to keep everyone in their normal routines along with our own. It's not easy to prioritize yourself, but your mental health and well-being plays a critical role in showing up as your best self for others. So if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, then you're a human being and there's a whole lot to be anxious about. Thank you for that. Between the 24-7 news cycle, the pandemic, the divisive politics, we need to take care of our mental health and work through

our emotions with a licensed therapist. Am I wrong? And with... You're not wrong. No, you're not at all. Talkspace is making therapy affordable. In regard to that, which you're already less anxious. If you know, you can afford it, it's accessible for everyone because we need extra

support to fill our best. Talkspace has thousands of licensed therapists trained in over 40 specialties, including anxiety, check, depression, check, relationships, check, and more. So no matter what, Talkspace will find the right therapist for you. Imagine being able to choose some therapists all over the country. That'll help for you. It'll help you achieve your goal. goals. Yes, and they have thousands of licensed therapists with years of experience and over 40

specialties, as Drew just said, not just those, but substance abuse, trauma, anger management relationship issues. Food and eating, Corey. How about that? Oh, come on. Talkspace. Stick it with the pointy end. Why don't you? Talkspace is always secure and private using the latest end-to-end encryption technology and complying with all HIPAA regulations. So talking to my friends is so different from talking to a licensed therapist who has the expertise and knowledge to give me practical guidance. Talkspace gives us the support we need at an affordable price. And as a listener

of this podcast, you get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To Max with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app and make sure to use the code Well Red, that's Well, RED, to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's Well Red and Talkspace.com.

I just imagine Corey email and Dr. Fat. Yeah, that's another one of my alter ego is Dr. Fatt. Hey, G, Dr. Fatt. Come in, Dr. Fatt. We have an emergency. I'm here what. You know what else hits, Cho, is meat.

I'm going to talk about meat. One of mine and yours favorite subjects, I feel like. Without a doubt. And I don't know if people know this, but you can't always get the best stuff from the grocery store. No, we can do what we've been doing and get your meat from United Harvest, which is a new delivery company founded by ranchers. the meat people. They exclusively provide the best cuts of American beef, Wagyu, and lamb.

I've always wondered how you were supposed to say that. Wagyu, Wagyu. Wagyu. I've been saying Wagyu. They gave us a pronunciation guy very smart of them. Oh, yes. Because it's why, wog you, apparently. I've been saying,

I don't know what I've been saying. Waygo, but I mean, I've been, I've been wrong about everything. But you can really taste the difference, I think. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? I had some of those, I had, we did the ribs last night, and dude, like, I know fall off the bone is a, is a cliche, but just, my God, just so tremendous. United Harvest works directly with North American Family Farms that uphold the highest standards of quality in animal care, and it's not an industrial factory. No, all of United Harvest meat is processed in Oregon by an expert butcher.

The end result is superior to what you get from the big supply change that sold directly to you to a surprisingly good price. Absolutely. Libbyes, New York strips. which are tater fed, not corn, which makes it richer and fuller flavor I've just learned. That's my favorite shit, by the way, right there. I love that my cows is living like me, son. You know what I mean? Tater fed cows.

That's what's up. Yeah, that is what's up. And lamb loin chops. So, yeah, I'll tell you what happened with me, which you're already aware of, but our listeners are not, is I did not, I had no idea. I had no idea that we had gotten this lovely new sponsor, who I'm thrilled to have. of us knew we hadn't been told yet no and so what happened for my perspective was and it happened to me first before it happened to either you or drew was one day i was sitting on the couch

just like you know being fat and dumb and not hitting or whatever and the i heard a package get dropped off which happens all time because katy's addicted to amazon and stuff so i told the boys i was like go out there and get that package and they opened a door and walked out there and they were like it's it's too heavy we can't lift it and i just like put your backs into it god damn you'll be fine Yes, you can. Don't tell me you can't lift one box between the two. You figured out whatever. And there's doing my dad thing. And they finally got it in the house and they put it down. And they were like, it's from United Harvest. And I was like, what? I didn't know. I wasn't expecting it at all. And it was like very much a kid on Christmas morning situation as I gradually figured out what had happened, which was that a giant box of meat had been delivered to my doorstep out of the thin or the clear blue sky.

Like, what a nice surprise. So I immediately texted y'all and I was like, did y'all get a box of meat? What's up with this box of meat? And I texted our podcast people. And at first they said, no, I didn't from us. So I thought somebody just gifted me a box of meat just like a meat fairy or a meat angel. And either way, I was just thrilled over the moon, made my whole weekend. I think it was.

And none of that has been negated by finding out what actually happened, which is that it just came through a different person at our podcast network than we normally deal with. And that's why we didn't know about. it ahead of time. But it's like the best. I do think you were a little. Holiday season is coming up. If you can give a gift to somebody of a box of meat,

it's a great gift to receive because that's sort of the experience that I had, however inadvertently is what I'm saying. Yeah, I do think that you were a little less happy when you found out that we also were getting the meat. It kind of, it seemed like, oh, I thought it was just for me. I thought it was just for me to hit with. And I'll be honest with you. Well, I got to live that reality for a while.

No, you did. You did. You got the best of both worlds. but dude, when you sent me a picture of all that meat, all the marbling on that rib eye, just the succulence of that poor, I was, I've never literally never, how many times did I text you within the past, the days following, just like, God damn it, I'm so mad about that meat, only to find out that I too had been gifted the gift of meat. And here's what I want you guys to do.

You go to UnitedHarvest.com, that's UnitedHarvest.com, and enter the promo code, well-read, W-E-L-L-R-E-D, and you're going to get 20% of, off sitewide with your order of $50 or more. That's UnitedHarvest.com. And use that promo code well read at checkout. If you value quality, flavor and convenience, which my God, trade, the top three in my book of anything,

those are my biggest three interests. Absolutely, buddy. Check out United Harvest. Go ahead. Check out United. If you are into those things that show us into, quality, flavor, and convenience, they go to UnitedHarvest.com

and make sure you use that promo code, well, red, well, RED, and you say 20% off your order of $50 or more. Box of meat, you know you want it, go and get it. I also want to ask you, yeah, go get it. Ski, get you meat. I want to ask you what, what, you did the lamb chops last night, right? Yeah, I did. How was that? I've never made lamb.

What do you think? I actually, I had never made lamb either, and so I was not worried about it because I was pretty confident. I knew that it was similar to like making a steak or a pork. You can do it medium rare? Yes, you can. I looked that up. Actually, we used to have lamb chops at the restaurant. Me and Kay used to work at where we met back in Cookville.

So I knew you could do it like medium rare, medium or whatever. I'd never done it, but I was confident that it was similar to a steak or pork chop or something. So I just sort of did it that way. And, I mean, it was flames, you know. So they'll be intimidated by the baby sheep meat also hits. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, back to the show.

Excuse. you back to the show back to the show hey back to the show i have a question for y'all uh it's just just a fun lighthearted topic that i was thinking about the other night and i feel like you guys might have some insights on it thought might be fun to talk about um void what if god is dead right like actually yeah what if he committed suicide as us i'm sure you guys have both especially drew have thought about this subject before i've always just sort of written off most of the god talk.

But I'm reading a fantasy, I'm reading a fantasy series right now that has like an actual god in it or like opposing gods. And one of the gods gets, one of the gods gets killed in one of them. Don't help. Because they found a way to kill the guy.

Well, this guy didn't hit. He was an asshole god. I found a familiar. Anyway, I found a way to kill him. But it's like, I was thinking about it's like, still, okay, so he was mortal. But for all the intensive purposes, is this guy was a god.

And it made me start thinking like, I mean, what if, what if there was an actual God on some plane somewhere or way far back in the past or something? And God did exist, but is just dead now. Like if even like if there's other gods,

he's immortal in the human sense, but, you know, not immortal in the godly sense. Like he could be killed by another God and that's what happened. Or just killed himself, like Drew said, fuck it.

After a certain amount of time, it's got to stop hitting to be anything, even a god. So like, what if God is dead? I guess my thoughts on that immediately are if, if that, okay, if there's a God and he is able to die, then he wasn't God to the level that I really give a fuck about much anyways. And if he could die, what the fuck's he going to do anyways? And honestly, good riddens.

Okay. Yeah, I hope he did. Yeah. No, I got too hype because one of the funniest I've ever laughed at myself. So when I was smoking pot all day, every day, and not sleeping because of my heart problem and didn't know I had a heart problem and I was the most insane I've ever been. I was keeping a journal a lot in an attempt to maintain myself. And one day I opened it up and just saw that I had written and forgotten about in a haze,

drunken whatever. I think God committed suicide because of us and fucking crack me up. Yeah, that's where you thought to have had. Yeah. Well, yeah, that too.

And then also very me to just laugh and Andy be like, what? And I'm like, nothing. Make me food. It would sort of make sense, though, wasn't it?

That like... Well, that would be like close to the... Oh, sorry, what? No, I was just going to say it would sort of make sense that like that's why shit is like truly falling apart now. Like,

there was a thing that like, every now and then checked in and was like, oh shit, God damn it. All right, let me reset this. Y'all done fuck this up. And then they died and now it's like,

that's why climate change is so out of control. Even like, to go back to what you said earlier, Corey, about, oh, if God can die, then fuck it. Maybe it's some God jerk off motion,

fucking you can die. You ain't no God, whatever. I mean, or like if, or if he, first of all, if he can kill himself,

that seems a little different to me. But secondly, what if also he just fucked off? Right. Yeah. The clockmaker. He just left. Yeah.

He didn't kill himself or he didn't die, but he just fucked off forever. Like completely lost interest and abandoned us. That's kind of how I feel. That's what I've always believed, really. So one of the most prominent immediate theories in the West, like when they first started questioning the church, and I'm not saying they invented any of this, but in the West it was like you got to at least pretend to believe in God or whatever. One of the first one was like the clockmaker theory. You know, when these intellectuals stopped going to church, whatever, they were like,

well, something created us and either fucked off or, and like, Corey, if you mean, well, then fuck that God, I'm not going to worship him. I mean, yeah, why would you? But at the same time, a part of me is like, you're saying that somebody created this whole planet and Corey's like, yeah, but he died, though. Yeah, what I was just kind of trying to hit. Jerk off motion. Also, for everybody out there who's not 100% clear on what the watchmaker theory is,

it basically is like, you know, if you put all the parts of a watch inside a bag and shook it for no matter how long you shook, it's not going to make a goddamn watcher a clock. So somebody clearly did that, but they made this clock, the universe, in order with all the gears so that it could function on its own. And then they fucked off.

Like the watchmaker don't just hang around your house all day, fixing your goddamn clock. He makes it to work and shit, which is that, that's what I've always kind of bought. I was like, yeah, to me, look,

man, it's fucking, maybe this is the hopeful part of me. It's like, it's beautiful out here. Things are so complicated. Like our fucking central nervous system is insane. dog central nervous system is insane.

All these little differences, but like also similarities, it's insane. Surely to God, something out there had a plan for this, but I don't see that person as someone up there pulling strings and looking at me when I jack off. That's like kind of how I've always just, it seems like something did something, but I don't think that something gives a fuck or is here no more. I knew both of y'all would have genuine thoughts on that. And you think we're idiots. even had like theory.

No, no, I just, no, I'm saying. Yes, you do. Do you hear his fucking voice got high? Did you hear his goddamn voice got high? No, no, no, no. I think you're neat. I think you're smart. I think you're fucking smart.

This week on End of the Abisket, like I literally have a whole podcast basically about this. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know. I was reading, I was reading my elf wizard books or whatever. Yeah. Which one, by the way? That sounds like a.

hits. Missedborn. It's called the Miss Born series by Brandon Sanderson. He's like the most prolific modern day. Of course he has. You're reading him. He's well I mean I this is that the first of his shit I've ever read. He's the Darren Aronofsky of the written word. No no no no no I don't think that's the he like puts a lot of shit at a lot right which is different. I am very very impressed by the ability to fucking do that. Like, he gets brought up all the time in, like, contrast to George R.R. Martin.

Like, when I'm on the internet, and I see people bitching about R.R. Martin, people like, look, it's very complex narrative and whatever else. And then people are like, all right, but Brandon Sanderson,

motherfucker, this dude. Do you think he's Grishamed himself? He's juggling at once. Do what? Do you think he's grishamed himself? Like, he's got a team and he just puts his name on it? Because that's how John Grisham does. For the record,

by the way, I genuinely don't give a fuck. if the books are good, I could care less. Like, I know Chris Rock had some people help him write his life special. He paid them motherfuckers. They were into credits. I don't give a shit.

I agree with all that. The Miss Fulster is one of his, like, first bigger things, as I understand it. So, like, I'm pretty sure this was him, but some of his newer shit, maybe he's, I don't know. Anyway, whatever. You're right, Drew, they were into credits and these people weren't, but I bet these people get paid more to do like a full-ass book.

You know what I mean? Maybe. And I don't think it works like they do the full book. I think it's almost like a writing team with a script. You know what I mean? Yeah. And the reason I think that is I had a buddy who did it for like a Christian writer who wrote nonfiction like, this is how you should do your marriage or whatever. But and look, you know, maybe when you're in that world instead of the fantasy world, it goes different.

He didn't get paid well at all. The Christian world, really. Yeah. Well, it was like, it was like over in a Christian world. That's odd. It was like this is for your resume. You know, if you do this for me. Exposure.

Dude, God, that makes me want to vomit. that makes me an invite. I hate that exposure shit. Dude, you know what? It's crazy too. Like, so not like I've reached, we've all pretty much reached a point in our career. We're like,

if I, if I start smelling some of that, this is for exposure shit, I'm out. Like I'm gone because I'm, I'm worth more now. I've made a living doing this. Fuck that.

There's something, like if I'm trying a new thing, maybe I'll dip my toe into the well, maybe I shouldn't get paid for this. I'll try it out waters or whatever. But like, nothing fucking infuriates more. But my point on that is like,

that you all they always say that shit will go away like oh you just do it now and then later you it never fucking goes away and it's so fucking infuriating on but on that same note though to be clear and i know this is not what you're saying but like for people that don't know or don't realize this a whole lot of like really high level and high profile appearances and stuff like late night talk shows and things like that uh if you get anything at all you get like an honorarium which it's eight hundred and twenty five dollars is the standard and uh and no i that ain't that. That's not what I mean. Well, you get a shit. You get a shit. Right. Exactly. It's the people,

it's the people who are like, hey, I've got 2,000 Instagram followers, you know, so in exchange for exposure to my followers, I would like you to do that, or whatever, that version, where it's like, it's not, you're offering nothing and just like calling it exposure. But you, but that same dynamic plays out at really, really high levels, but that is different because that's like genuinely the case. Yeah, like obviously you go on Joe Rogan. You really are getting a lot out of it. Yeah, yeah, you go on Joe Rogan for free, but genuinely it's for exposure,

but also like, I don't know, that's just a different thing. Like, I don't mind. It's not work. It's not, exactly. It's not hot. It's not right. If you're a guest. If you're, right, if Joe Rogan, if Joe Rogan's podcast was comedians doing

sets, then I'd be like, hey, man, you probably need to pay these motherfuckers because they're coming on your show and like doing their thing and entertaining people. But like, no, that's totally. fine. I just mean like, you know, constantly people are like, hey, man, why don't you make a video for this, blah, or whatever. Like, we can't pay you, but like, we'll, we'll show it to a lot of people. It's like, motherfucker, I'll show it to a lot of people. You know what I mean? That's literally what I do. I show it to a bunch of people every day. That's how you found me, dog. Yeah, I just was thinking about how much we got paid to do certain things we did.

Of course. It all works out in a watch. I don't know how we got on. I think I know the things you're talking about. And like I also, that is kind of fucked up. But like I also felt like that was different because we were getting, there was another tangible thing. We said yes to it process. Yeah, but we didn't. You know what I mean? Like I said yes to it.

I'm really just like hindsighting it. You know what I mean? Because of how the, whatever. Well, look, they're all gone. Yeah, Congress Central's not a fucking company anymore. I'm not going to shit talk them really anyway. I'm going to be fair to them, I think. We're talking about the Comedy Central sketches.

we got paid basically nothing for those. But I looked at that differently because I was like, we're not getting paid anything, but we are getting something the three of us could not just get us. They cost like $35,000 a piece. Professional grade produced comedy sketches that look professionally done because they were professionally done, that we didn't have the capacity to do ourselves.

That also does count for something. That's why I wasn't that bothered by that. But when you say, ah, but we did, we had a whole bunch more lined up that we'll never see a lot of day because the pandemic murdered Comedy Central. And we spend a shitload of time working on those too. And that don't hit. But like that's really nobody's fault except the fucking dead abandoned God who left us all.

I mean, I'm kind of fine with it because I'm kind of fine with it though because we still, it's not like we threw the motherfuckers away. You know what I mean? Like not like we can't. Yeah. You know, we can come back to. Yeah. I think it was 30.

But the $30,000 production side of it, uh, actually you're 100% right. Because that's something that we have a cook. have done our own or we might have been able to do it once through like a crowdfunding thing and then not again for a decade or whatever. And so I agree with that completely. I think for me, it was just like, man, you know, I don't know. The one in particular, the restaurant one is like, man, this is one of the best ideas I've had. It's my favorite bid or it was at that time. I mean, this was years ago too.

And then you get that check and you're like, fuck. That's what I'm worth. But you're right. Like the product is worth more than that. You've also got a shitload of compliments from that. I told you recently that Rob Thomas, the showrunner, just recently saw those, not just that one, but the other ones too.

He just recently saw Comedy Central sketches, and he told me, and I told y'all, he was like, those were to fit right in on, like, key and peel, but from you guys, which I always felt like that is the exact vibe we were going for, was like, key and peel, but from our point of view or whatever. And I think if we would have gotten to keep doing those,

I think there's a good possibility that they would have eventually committed to or turned into some. I know they would have. That's why it's so raving that the pandemic happened. Right. Yeah, yeah. But that's part of the value of it. I don't know, you know, I don't know what all he said,

but you tell him I really enjoyed his work with Santana. Like, I thought that was underrated, honestly, that album. Me too. But you know, it's hard to say that it was underrated when I've told you all this before, and it's true, that song is the number two all-time charting billboard. song of all time. Yeah, man. Is that not unfucking believable?

Like, for the record, it was a banger. That was the first ever single. That's when I found out what singles, kind of where I was in fifth grade, and I was at a record shop. We were, like, doing some school trip to the, we went to the, it was the News Channel 9 science shit. They had a little theater, like where the weatherman,

who ended up, by the way, getting fired because he got his dick stuck in a cat. So. What? Yeah, he got his dick stuck in a cat. So you go over there and like he would have like this, you'd go touch electricity. Stop. Hold on.

I won't. Let me get this. No, let me get there. Fuck Santana. And I went. You can't do that. I went. That's not an aside.

Somebody get their dick stuck in the cat is not the side to a sandana. I wanted. I was going. You wanted a candy bar and you learned a lesson about the music. industry. No one cares. He fucked a cat? No, the point was is that I wanted to buy a whole record, but I didn't have a lot of money, and I was upset. And I told the lady there, I was like, oh, my, how much more money do I have? She's like, well, honey, there's the singles over there. They're only like $3. And I went and I got the single Santana and Rob Thomas smooth.

And I was like, God damn, this is a banger right here. And I was right. Like I was on that tip. No, man, so this dude. So he was the weatherman for a long time. in Chattanooga. And yeah, he had this look. And for the record, like, he was always like, he's one of them dudes that he supposedly, not supposedly, I mean, I pretty sure got caught doodling a kid too or some shit like that.

And he's one of those that, he's one of them that like, as soon as it happened, everyone is like, duh, shit. All right, you know what I mean? Like, he just looked like somebody drew a fucking pedophile. But the old tale was, was that, One day he had to go to a goddamn doctor because he was fucking a cat in the ass, which is, I mean, where else?

And his dick got, like, the cat, like, drew up on him. You know how they'll do? Oh, my God. Cat fucking drew up on him, clamped down. And they got, like, sandpaper assholes from what I've read and just fucking whack. And he couldn't get this fucking cat. And I remember my dad, I remember my dad having a company. I'd be with my papaw when I kind of barely knew what was going on.

And one of them, maybe my dad or my papo was just like, well, I just had to cut it off. I don't know what else, but like, I just had to cut you. Like, how are you going, you know? And so, yeah, he, he just straight up, you know, went in there. Yeah, why do you go to the doctor? Just get a knife. But you got to.

God. I mean, I think he probably had exhausted a lot of his own personal resources in order to get this cat off of his dad. I would say, I would say, I would say. I would say, I would say, yeah, I wouldn't say, yeah, right, it just had its head slammed an adult. Or I would say that he didn't go from fucking the cat to realizing his dick was stuck. And then, right.

You want to keep her alive. Yeah. I love my cat. And not that much. I was just trying to hit it. That was his lover. Yeah. Yeah.

So anyways, my point on that was that I'm familiar with the song. Santana. Well, to connect. Just so you all know, I don't know. And I don't, I don't even know if it even ended up becoming a thing, but I know at one point the Rob Thomas I was talking about, the TV Rob Thomas actually was starting to develop some kind of idea with Matchbox 20 Rob Thomas.

It's literally just because they have the same name in this, that version of that. No one has ever not made a fucking Santana joke to T. Of course. I'm sure it sucks. Yeah. So, like, so yeah, and anyway, I don't know whatever happened with that, but oh, my God. To try and connect these stories, uh, commons, go ahead.

Central and cat fucking. Yeah. Another thing that always happens is they always go, guys, I don't know if this character just doesn't seem real. And it's always a very toned down story. It's not about fucking cats. it's never about fucking cats. We've never offered up a sketch about fucking cats.

And every time, though, they're like, ah, you've got to tone it down, guys. This doesn't seem realistic. Yeah, you're 100% right about that. And it's not just further record. That's not just Comedy Central. We've developed other things and with other studios and production companies or whatever else.

That's just a Hollywood thing when it comes to the rural South. In my experience, they feel like we talked about, I think even on here before, about one of the sitcoms we had that didn't go. We had my sister as a character, in it and like it was a toned down version and I've told pages to it was a toned down version of page really and it was very much like debate amongst the powers that be or whatever at the time like is this too much is this character way too much and it was like she ain't even that's not even

full page you're not even close but but yeah they just don't it's hard it's such an alien world to almost all of them that they don't they don't they don't They have no, like, capacity to believe it. It bucks, it bucks both ways, too, because it's like when we, when we, again, we toned down some of the redness and then we come in there with it. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Jesus Christ, this might be a little bit too, you know, we're like, no, but that's really how it. But then when we're like, okay, all our characters are a little subtle and they're all

liberal bubble and they're like, but people from the South aren't really like that. And it's like, well, which one do you fucking want me to do? Do you want to have the lady with the Mountain Dew and her camelback? or do you want, what do you want? Like, I don't know what to tell you, but, like, she, I wanted to fly, so many times during that process, I wanted to just, like, low-key fly page out there and just have her walk into the studio one day and just fucking go. Just be like, look, that's it right there.

What's fuck y'all want else? Hey, Paige, these people think your brother don't know how to write good character. What the fuck I said about my Bobby? It's over. And then Paige would have ended up as, like, the redneck snooking, been more famous than all of us. Absolutely. It was. And then she could have funded our movies, dude.

Did y'all, it's so wild when that type of thing happens, by the way. It just reminds me I was listening to a podcast with Michael Madsen on it last night, who like I mostly clicked on it because, like, he always hit for me as an actor, but I felt like I'd always also heard that he's like a lunatic or something. I wasn't sure. So that's why I listened to it. And he didn't, he didn't. But, I mean, you know, people in interviews can purposefully rein themselves in.

He didn't come off as like a lunatic, in my opinion. but anyway, he told his like origin story. And I have no reason to believe it's not true. And it's just like, and there's a bunch of people that have had similar ones. Like I think Jennifer Lawrence's was something in this vein as well. But like he was living in Chicago like working on cars and fucking stealing shit. It was just like a street urchin bag of shit, basically. His Tarantino characters.

And he had a buddy who, first of all, his sister, Virginia Madsen, who's also, you know, a successful character actress now. She had already gotten into acting and had an agent and stuff at the time, but he didn't give a fuck about any of it at all. And he separately had another buddy, a guy who just asked him one day, he's like, hey, you care to give me a ride to this audition? It was like a big cattle call audition they were having in Chicago because some movie was about to film in Chicago or something.

And he's like, all right, sure, buddy, whatever. The guy goes in there and he just, he walks in with his buddy and he just sits in back of the room waiting on his friend to get done. And then his friend was one of the last ones. His friends got finished. And when he started to leave, this guy walked up to him. It's like, hey, are you not, I saw you sit back here. Are you not, are you not an actor?

Are you not going to read for us? And he's like, no, I don't, I don't fuck him to that. And he's like, well, why don't you just do it anyway? Yeah. And he's like, I don't. I don't even know what you mean by this. And he's like, I'll give you, here's some, here's some pieces of paper. I'm this guy.

You're this guy. Just read this with me. And he was like, all right, man, whatever, you know. And he sat down and did it. And the guy was like, how can I get in touch with you? He's like, I don't know. He's like, you know anybody in the business? He's like, well, my sister does commercials or something?

And he's like, does your sister have an agent? He's like, I think so. And he told him his sister's name or whatever. And then like two days later, his sister's agent called him and was like, they want to fly you to Los Angeles to be in this movie. It was war game. that 80s movie with Fred Savage or whatever. Yeah, it was war games.

He'd never done shit. That dude who was in Chicago who just like started talking to him was the director of that movie. Nice. He had no idea. The director got fired from that movie, but went out of tell the incoming director, make sure you find something for this kid in Chicago.

Nice. Like after he was already on the way out, the new director didn't even know fucking shit about him. They flew him out. He did that movie. and just never left. But he had no, that type of shit blows. That happened to, you remember Sable in the WWF?

Yeah, fuck hell, yes. Of course, Sable. Of course you did. You kidding me? Right. Yeah, one of the, I think. Speaking of kitties, am I right? She had to kis.

God damn. Yeah, puppies. Puppies. Puppies. Jerry Lawler. Oh, the puppies. Ha-ha! Yeah.

Puppies, the puppies. The puppies. It was titties. I think I went to kitties because kitties rhymes with tities. Yeah, no, it's definitely puppies, you're right. Puppies. I think to this day she has the record for Playboy cover buys or some shit like that.

Point is how she has a kind of similar thing where her husband at the time was Mark Miro, who was a wrestler, and he was coming over from WCW to WWF at the time, WWE now. And she had, she was, you know, just a real good looking lady, had no interest in the business and whatsoever. He's got a meeting with WWF and she just goes with him and apparently, I've heard this from Bruce Pritchard. Vince and him had like no real intention on hiring him. They left the meeting and Vince goes and he's like, Vince goes to Bruce's office. He's like,

did you see what I saw? And he's like, yeah, she's money. So they go to her and are like, do you have any interest? And she's like, no, not really. But they hire him just to get to her. So hire him to get to her, finally talk her into doing something. She comes out, pops like a son of a bitch, one of the biggest stars in WWF history. They fire his ass, and now she's with Brock Lesner. Yeah. And you've probably never even heard of fucking Mark Mero, but Sable, I mean.

All right, but we're talking about two businesses whose literal job is to make up backstories and tell stories. There's a part of me that, like, wonders if they know it's good for their career to have backstories like that. You mean like what I just said? I wonder. I wonder. Because I have trouble believing any, any of that, any version of that type of story sometimes

because I know how insanely fucking difficult it is to try very hard at nothing else for years. Yeah. And not get fucking anywhere. Look at Sable Do. In this game, I know. And I think it's the same thing with Michael Madsen, even though he's not like this, like, he's not Brad Pitt. He's very much a archetype of, like, street tubs. dude, right?

Well, I know directors look for people like that sometimes, too, right? Like, a lot of them, what's the word I'm looking for? Almost, like, they put it on a pedestal. They, like, really want to have, like, a real person who really is a street urchin, play the street urchin. So I can see that. And then I think, I don't know the full Jennifer Lawrence story, but it's something like similar things. She grew up in Kentucky, like well-to-do in Kentucky, like a horse family, I think, in Kentucky, like in Lexington or something like that. Yeah, she's part horse.

That's true. Yeah. He took a trip, took a trip to, yeah, family of centaurs, took a trip to New York just on like either a school trip or a vacation or something at like 14 or 15 years old. And some modeling person was in the same square as her in New York and just like plucked her from obscurity. And I think Jennifer Lawrence is awesome. She's extremely talented. But sometimes it works.

She never, she had no, she was 14 years old, never even thought about nothing like that. and just got seen by a person. And I think a lot of people think that's how all Hollywood works. And you like to think that's like, no, it isn't. No, that ain't even real. But like, it is real. It does. It does happen.

It's just you only hear about them when if they hit, if they hit, then you'll hear the story. But her story is different. And Charlie Staron's story is similar. Their stories are slightly different, though, because they got plucked out of obscurity to be models. So it's just about how you look. Which is, yeah. And then they worked hard. Yeah.

Yeah, well, like Jennifer, I know that in, what's a dead winter? Winter's Bone, which is what broke her, and she's awesome in that. She, like, stalked that director, like, went to a few of his shows, was like, look, I really want to be in something here. You know, kept giving her, her people kept pushing her on. She wanted to work with that guy. So, you know, she did it that way. I just feel like modeling's different. No, for sure.

Modeling's one of those things that I definitely think that at the end of the day, day there's if two okay look these two girls are very similar in build and beauty but this one can walk down a runway better this one knows how to angle herself this one has a bet that can work out but like the looks is there's a lot of it that you can't coach you know what i mean in that gig a couple other ones have just popped into my head abbreviated versions of ashton kutcher male version of the model for like john dear or some shit was for modeling he's a midwestern guy i can't iowa Iowa. Yeah, he's from Iowa. Trust me. I know. He's from Iowa.

Football player, whatever. Never remotely considered any of this shit got seen by modeling person somewhere and then led into his career. Fucking, I had multiple other ones. Channing Tatum's that way, isn't he? I don't know. I don't know. He obviously trained a fucker as a dancer and stuff. I feel like he was a dancer. He was, he wanted to be. purpose was a dancer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pulled from that. Yeah, that's just similar. Like, he was, he was wanted to be in the entertainment business, but maybe not as an actor, just like he was a male dancer and like hit at it. I mean, that's what Magic Mike's about, right? That's true, right? I mean, like, as true as something like that is going to be.

I'm not, yeah, I don't know, somewhere in that ballpark. Oh, truth to me. Chris Pratt lived in a van on the beach and was a surfer bum, weed smoking stoner guy with nothing going. on, no plans for anything, and also worked at this like Tiki Bar and had Ray Don Chong, Tommy Chong's daughter, who was like a star in the 80s. She did Arnold Schwarzenegger movies and stuff. She sat at his table at his restaurant. He had worked at part time in Hawaii. And she was like, have you ever thought about being an actor? And he was like, well, I'll know what was that.

and then she put it, gave him a bit part in a thing she was doing or working on at the time. And then off to the races from there. I mean, his career, he, I'm saying he had no intentions on getting it. I'm not trying to discredit any of these people by bringing it up. I just think this thing is like this are fucking. No, they are. It's crazy how you can just fall bass backwards into something like this. But he then worked his ass off 40 years in complete obscurity.

Yeah. Before he finally got fat and got home parks and wreck, the opposite about Notting. Pat and also had a bit about like how those and Corey you touched on it those ironic stories

it's only ironic because it worked out like yeah I think in his bit he says he brings the example up of there's a guy who's never played guitar and he walks by a guitar

store and the guitar reminds him of the guitar his dad has so he buys it and he doesn't become John Bon Jovi so that's just like the end of the fucking story exactly for sure

yeah like that happens all the time but you sing on but Mazden but Mazden it sounds like literally got a career handed to him in the acting world. Well, he kept working too because he came, they flew him to LA to be in that movie.

He never went back to Chicago. But he started working at a like oil and lewd place, like in a garage because he was a gearhead. He started working there and that's how he paid his bills. But ever since that first movie, that got him an agent. He went on auditions and now he's like in it. But he got turned down for all kinds of shit. He got a couple TV shows.

It led to a couple other things. And it was kind of a traditional career trajectory after that first thing. But that first thing came out of nowhere. I'm not trying to take his work from him. I'm saying that that first thing coming out of nowhere, that story sounds to me different than every other story we've listed here. Maybe not Chris Pratt. But like even Sables, her husband was in the business.

I mean, you know how nepotism works. For sure. You know, and then the modeling thing, you get plugged out of obscury into modeling, but then you get an agent. You get a modeling agent and they tell you, you know, you can act, do it. The Sable thing is a little bit different than nepotism, though, because it's not like they hired Sable because they'd already hired Mark Miro and she was his wife. They literally only, they were interviewing Mark Mero and admitted they only hired Mark Miro because Sable came to the goddamn job interview with him. You know what I'm saying?

I just don't believe that. I've heard it in shoot interviews. I've heard it out of the motherfuckers Matt. Like, I'm telling you that's just a true thing. It's a great story, and they tell great stories. because like they see hot women all the time. They're rich, famous people. There's no one's so hot where they're like,

well, I'm just fucking, let's hire her husband. He, wow, but he was already successful wrestler in WCW. It's not like he was, I know, but what I'm- They want to shit on him now because it's funnier to say, the only reason we heard that asshole. I've heard Mark Miro say this, and he's divorced from her now. Like, why would he still say that? It's still real to me.

No, I hear you. Also, one of my favorite things about that whole situation was, So Mark Miro goes over. He ends up getting fired, right? And Sable is this huge star at WWF, arguably the biggest female star they've ever had until now with Charlotte. And there were rumors of, and Brock Lesnar is a legit badass motherfucker,

a legit will murder almost anybody. Like, you know, as whole- Did he really fight? Yeah. Oh, yeah, a fucking UFC champion. So like- Our buddy Frank Meir took it down in his first fight, his first time of a football fight, though,

which made me very pumped. because I could not fucking stand Brock Lesnar. I don't have an opinion on him at the time. Well, and for the record, that was... I mean, I was opinion on him now. He was a heel in WWE, and that's why it was perfect. The more you hated it than better it was. Anyways, so there was Mark Miro and Sable,

the relationship was rocky, and that she filed for divorce, and then the rumor was out that she was cheating on Mark with somebody, and Mark was hot as fuck. It was like, God damn it, she's fucking around with somebody. And somebody was like, yeah, you know, it's Brock Lesnar.

and he was apparently just like, well, sometimes you fall out of love. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know what. It never went any further than that. Always crack me up. Another quick one, because I remembered it that I had earlier. This one's also a little different, but fucking insane to me. We talk about Ashton Coucher, also from that 70s show.

You know how Topper Grace got on that 70s show? No, I want you to tell me. I thought you were going to talk about Miyakunis. Go ahead. She lied. She lied. She's about her age and everything. Tofer Grace, yes, he had like just decided he wanted to do acting stuff,

but he's like a Connecticut kid, which you can tell. He's somewhere in New England. I know, it checks out. But he was still in New England. He was like 18 or 19 or something like that. And he had just decided like, oh, I want to try acting or whatever. And he did like a local New England play, like a school play or like a, you know, what are those called?

Like a theater company thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right. But a really low level, no one gives a, it's not like one of the famous ones that, like, you know, it's not like fucking Steppenwolf or something in Chicago that notably produces all these famous actors.

It's just a random one in fucking Connecticut. And he did one, he did one play, his first play. And some, I don't think it was Mark Brazil. I think it was some other executive producer or studio executive, Carsey and Warner were the heads of that, right? I know Mark Brazil created that seven show for sure. He might have done it with Carsey Warner. I can't remember.

But one of those people that was like an exec at Fox or with Carson Warner or whatever, one of the like, you know, decision makers also was from that area and had like a niece or nephew or something who they were back at home visiting family. they had a niece or nephew who was in that play. So they went and saw this random low profile who gives a shit play that Tofer Grace was in. But he crushed. And they were like, hey, I'm sure he did. He clearly did because this person saw it.

And they were like, you know what? He'd be perfect for the lead in this sitcom that we're putting together right now. That was the first and only thing he had ever done. That someone just happened to be at the first show. I don't know if it was literally the first show. but whatever. One of the first showings of the first thing you'd ever done, someone just happened to be there on the other side of the country

in an irrelevant part of the world, not in Manhattan or something. And that person was just like, hey, you're great. Do you want to be the lead in a network sitcom? That actually was. And then that makes me hit.

That makes him hit harder for me now kind of, like a little bit because I was just, I recently just watched, he's in that love death and robot show. He's got the only episode that's not fully animated. it, he's in it. And he's great. And it's a 10 minute little short thing, but I was, I was like, oh, tonight when I go to bed, I'm going to put on some, that 70 show, you know, for my night night show. And dude, I just remember sitting there thinking, like, at the time I didn't really

appreciate it, but I was like, this motherfucker is absolutely on fire as Eric Foreman. Like, he's so goddamn good. And to hear that, like, he hadn't just grew up as like a Juilliard kid or like, you know, one of the phoenixes or some shit, like, that's kind of unbelievable, because he's he's doing shit that like so subdued, so subtle. Like he's just, he's real goddamn good is what I'm saying. I think he was so, he's arguably so good as Eric that you don't see him in much shit. Right. All right.

So just to review that show. So as you referenced and I was going to talk about, Milakunas lied, like faked her birth certificate or some shit. Her mom helped her. Said she was older than she was. She got it when she was 14. Hyde was older than all of them and the church of Scientology and the people who pull the strings

and that pulled a bunch of strings to get him on it. One of the producers of that show was involved somehow or whatever. And he was great, all that stuff aside. He was. I mean,

he don't hit and the church don't hit. But the church of Scientology has a lot of people to pull from. Of course he gets. Like they have, you know, they have hitters in there. Yeah.

Well, his brother was on fucking Malcolm in the middle. Right. So like you got a child actor whose mama was helping her lie. You got a guy plucked out of obscurity to be a model in the middle of Iowa. You got a guy pulled in from a play, and then you got a guy of the Church of Scientology's backing. And we're just out here thinking that just like, I don't know, we go to some auditions

and we fart. Donna was the only one that as far as I know that just like got an agent by auditioning for Asians and the kids. Yeah. And she might have some wild fucking story too. I ain't heard of it. None of them hold a candle to my man's reds and kitty, though. Those are my two favorites in a show, I guess.

But that show was a... Oh, yeah. Kurtwood Smith is so goddamn good. He looked the same the whole time. Yeah. Why, Corey? Why? Because he's a hitting bald. He's a hitting bald. He is a hitting bald.

Exactly. I knew we were going to have some sort of hit and bald segment on this show after last night, fucking whole debacle. Apparently, I'm reading this now. Apparently where he grew up, Kate Bosworth was a middle school friend, and Chloe Sevenier. Kurt Wood Smith.

And Chloe Sevenier appeared in high school plays with him, with Toafer Grace. So maybe that's who they were there seeing. It was Chloe Sevene. You might be, you know what, now that you say that, I remember him talking about Chloe Savini or Sevene,

or however you say that, being in his class or whatever. And you might be right. It might have been her, like, uncle or whatever. Someone was there to see her. That actually sounds right. I don't know.

Either way, dude, fucking either way. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Crazy. All right. Well, is that it? Fart? Oh, I got.

He pray fart. That's Corey's new book, Hiking Through the Woods. He pray farting. God damn right, baby. Still sober. Hits. Hits.

Hits. He does it. Hew. He's, Y'all don't hit. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you, God bless you, good night and skew.