wellRED podcast - #203 - Comedians Holding Their Phones and Screaming Into Them (Oh & also THE COUP!)

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

On this episode the boys talk about Corey's recent viral rant, the fact that there was a literal COUP attempt, and much more!  Sponsors:BlueChew.com Promo Code REDHelloFresh.com/80RED Promo Code 80REDTalkspace.com Promo code WELLRED

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore,

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Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that.

Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas.

Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

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slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. upset but they got three big old dicks that you can suck. Uh, anyway, here we are. God damn. Hey, here we are. Hold on before we do that.

Thank you, everybody, for joining us on the Well-Red podcast. Well-readcom, W-E-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com. It's where you can find out where we're going to be as soon as they open the goddamn world up. You can sign up for our newsletter. You can check out our merch like our book, The Liberal Redneck Manifesto, Dragon Dixie Out of the Dark, and our album, Well-read Live from Lexi. And also, I would encourage you to check out the sister podcast of this podcast. I've got through the screen door.

Drew has End of the Abiscuit. And Trey has the evening skews. So now that all that business is out of the way, what's up, boys? Shit. You tell us, Mr. Man. For anybody who just heard all that shit for the first time, I imagine there's going to be at least a few of you this week. That was the man you came to see, Corey Forrester, there.

I want that. Had a wild week, didn't you? God. I'm pretty sure anyone who listens to us regularly knows what we're talking about. But Corey went plumb viral again, except this time it wasn't just a picture he took with a caption. It was easily stolen. This was his face talking. So he himself did it, which is that's very much the preferable way to do it.

I don't know why you didn't do that to begin with. I know. I was thinking, I was like, dude, that time you went viral with the church picture like why didn't you just be in it like yeah and all these other times i've also thought to myself but why did i wait to go viral yeah i've been wondering that the whole time so many people have been telling me for a while you need to make one of them viral videos and i've just been like i'm fine you know i'll just keep doing what i'm doing but yeah there's something to it it's really funny to me though because like last week i did a interview with newsweek over a video i did about

cheese burgers and I thought you know that was pretty cool and then yeah this is it this is a whole other this is a whole other thing it's very overwhelming and wild and uh thanks everybody for sharing it newsweek cheeseburgers rant CNN yeah it works man I've been if we could go back about the viral thing and I hadn't thought of that maybe I should do that it would help I recommend it for sure yeah I'll look I'll look into it but I got a lot going on this week yeah I can't recommend it highly enough, if only to watch until you realize, hey, I should turn my notifications off to watch your phone go literally insane. Yeah.

Well, on a personal level, I want to thank you because it gives us something positive to talk about this week. Right. Yeah. I'm serious. Like, that's the only good in my life I can see. Well, other than some people in my immediate circle are like, God damn, maybe these magas are crazy. Well, and unfortunately, I mean, that's the reason the video did so well.

And ain't it just the way. Like I told, like, first off, when I put up a buttercream dream video, for instance, or ain't later, whatever, I've sat down, I've decided that, I woke up that morning and went, this is what I'm doing today, then I wrote it, then I filmed it, edited it, put it up, had a thought process to it. This was not that way at all. This was just like, got mad, hulked out, shot a video, put it up. And then like, as I sat down, Amber, Amber goes, because I was fucking up here yelling.

She goes, are you okay? Like, did you just put something on the internet? And I go, yeah, and honestly, that one will probably do pretty good because it wasn't fucking funny. And ain't that just the way? I was wondering if you had that thought. I was very comedian thought. I also wanted to ask. Not just that part.

Everything you just said. Like, I know, again, because the way comics, brains work or whatever, and I've had similar experiences not to the degree that, I mean, you know, when I first went viral and started all this shit, it was like that, except not. It was, I wrote that video. Everybody thought I did what you had did, but I didn't. I wrote that video like I've written the rest of them put, you know, put them out on purpose. But along the way, I've put things out.

that were like very sincere, whatever, that did kind of well. And you have this weird comic thought of like, God damn it, that did so much better than the funny thing that I liked that I put out last week and just sort of ain't that just the way of it all. And I know overall you're thrilled regardless, but I'm wondering how much of that, how much of that like, ain't that just the way sort of thing do you have going on where it's like you put all these effort into all these funny videos,

some of which have done very well themselves, but then you just get mad and do this thing. Yeah. And it explodes, like the irony of it. Well, luckily, there's a couple things different from when your video went viral to my video went viral. Several that I probably couldn't even think of. But the main one that I can think of is I got to watch you go through all that. Yeah.

And I got to watch you live it. So, like, I've known a lot of these things that are about to have like, hey, man, don't look at the comments. Hey, you know, just all these things. And because of that, another advantage that I have on you that's not like you just couldn't, that's just how it is, is that. How round his face is. No, it's just that when you went viral, we didn't have professional clips of us doing stand-up. Right, yeah. I wouldn't, dude, that first came from my personal Facebook page.

I didn't even have a fan page. I was completely unprepared. Right. So my point is... In every way for that. My point is, like, it was so easy for people to be like, oh, look at this random dude that just popped off. It was very... The first thing I did, whenever this video started taking off, I re-uploaded an old clip of my stand-up,

a really good professional clip of my stand-up for my special, and put it on there. That way, when people came to my page, they would immediately go, oh, he's a comedian. So that I could, like, get ahead of some of that, like, oh, here's this guy that popped off on the internet, and now he's doing comedy. So I've had a lot of advantages. and therefore the whole ain't that just the way. I think it would have bothered me a lot more had that not been the case because right now I'm old enough and mature enough to realize like,

dude, however you get the eyeballs, you got the eyeballs. And if that hits for you and you hit for them, there's a good chance this will hit for them too. And now I just got a better chance. So like, you know, I don't know. You can't. What video is pinned? What's that?

Did you change your pinned video? What videos pinned? No, my pinned video is my cameo. so if daddy can pay his mortgage. There you go. Yeah, but it's a funny cameo, right? Or is it just you saying that you're on cameo? We actually, yeah, you're right.

I need to pin an actual cameo video. I was just asking, I don't know what you need to do. I have no experience. I was just curious if you've done something with that. No, but it's been wild, man. What clip did you use? Let me guess. Civil War.

I would have went with Civil War. That's what I was going to say. I would have went with Civil War. I mean, I just Googled Corey Forster Live, Bizu, and that was the clip that came up. But, um, so, oh shit. The crazy thing to me was, though, and this may be like how the sausage made. And if, if so, we'll move on.

But like, I've had videos that, now, I damn sure ain't had a video get, like, between mine and Leslie Jones that she took off mine. It's got like, almost like seven million views or something like that. But I've had some buttercream dream videos and other rants that have gotten like half a meal or whatever. And I've gained followers from them, but like, dog, not like this shit. I went, I went, from, I had 50,000 followers two days ago and I have 120,000 right now. Like, that's insane.

You got me 1,500 from people tagging me and Trey in it. One of my John Kyle's got half a million views and it got me 3,000. You got me half the followers I got from a tiny viral video by people just being like, these are his friends. Yeah, that's what Matt Coon told me today that just because I was, we were mentioned in the same tweets that he was just getting, like, oh, that's his producer. So, like, again, it's wild. I'm sure there's some of y'all that may be joining this podcast the first time. You might be like, you know what?

I think I just like that video, dog. Peace, you know, whatever. But I hope some of them hang on. I mean, yeah, well, that'll definitely happen, you know, that happens all the time with anything like that. But I think, but what are you, have you even thought about, like, going forward? Do you feel at all? obligated or whatever to try to replicate the type of thing that was.

And I don't mean the experience because everybody knows you can't replicate something like this or plan for it. But like doing what you did again. Do you feel like, oh, obviously I got to keep doing that? Yeah. I'm still doing liberal redneck videos five years later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. But like, no.

And here's why. Because, A, like, I'm sure that. Okay. So, like, you know, you said like, my. was the opposite. They thought I was just screaming at it, but I'd actually written it out. I bet you there's some people that feel the opposite about mine, because mine was very genuine. Like, you can almost hear me crying in it. They're like, he prepared this, he wrote those lines, yada, yada, yada, yada. Because you can't replicate that. Like, now, for the record, it's not like

that's the first time I've ever just gotten mad and screamed on my phone. That happens sometimes where, like, I just feel like, I don't even feel like writing anything. I just need to let the world know I'm mad. So obviously... Isn't that the first buttercream dream you just happened to have the belt over your shoulder? The first buttercream dream, I got mad about people not understanding what freedom of speech was. I was walking outside. I had my shirt off anyways and I just saw the belt and I just put it over my shoulder to even address it. And that's, to me, that's why it got so many views because people just saw this shiny belt and we're like, what is this shit? And so then that became the thing. But to me,

this may be stupid, but it is what I'm going to do. I've been busting my ass the whole pandemic to create new characters and put out cool videos, my new podcast, yada, yada, yada. I'm just going to still keep doing that. And if people end up going, hey, I was only here for the scream boy, then they're going to leave anyways. And obviously, if something ever makes me mad, I'll probably do that again. But that's the thing that that particular video, you can't replicate because that was just very much real and very much how I felt.

And anyone can see it coming a mile away when you're putting that on. You know what I mean? That's what I was going to say. If you try to replicate that, man, it'll be embarrassing. But I would. At the very least it'll just not work. Right. But again, my thing is like, good.

All these people are here now. Now I would like them to enjoy the stuff that I actually write and create my funny stuff. And I'm sure I'll have some people that eventually get bored with that. But, like, to me, I'm just appreciative of the new followers. And I, because I have an ego, I'm a comedian, I know that they'll keep blocking me because my shit hits. So to me, stick with the plan. I want to say, give my man credit, I laugh very hard when you got out of breath. so yeah that wasn't bad

it's funny because the only people that shared the clip and wrote like L-A-O or this is hilarious were like comedians that were like this hilarious and like really it's the least funny thing I've done but yeah man I don't know

I feel like even though you can't that was so much luck like that's what a viral video is is luck always yeah luck but but but the reason that I was even conditioned to be doing a video is because I've been getting in front of the camera and been doing stuff so like yeah the lottery's luck but you got to buy a ticket and I bought a lot of tickets and you've probably gotten I don't know how many new

followers from being the buttercream dream who are new followers who are into you who are eating your shit up so they saw that and shared the fuck out of it you know what I mean they help yeah you know Sam? Yeah. So, I mean, again, like, I think that the reason that I've been put in the situation to be making good videos and be creatively fruitful over the past couple months is because I got healthy. I'm living a better lifestyle. And so to me, I'm just not going to change any of that and just keep going. And just you have to know that, hey, every video is not going to get seven million views. You know what's funny about what you just said. It's another thing I wanted to bring up on here. Right before I went by.

in April 2016. I know what you're about to say. Proceeding four months prior to that from January to April 2016, me and you, Corey, had done the weight loss competition slash blog down flabby. And in doing so, I had lost a bunch of weight. And for the first time in my adult life, I had completely stopped drinking. I had quit drinking for four months. And I had gotten in pretty good shape.

I had my shirt off in that video, yada, yada. I didn't even think about none of that. I really, truly didn't. But Thompson, our buddy Thompson, friend of the podcast, for all you new listeners, Thompson's my best friend from growing up and also our biggest critic. But we realize all. Yeah, no, he just, he both loves us and things we're ridiculous.

And he sits in Clay County, Tennessee, laughing how stupid we are. So anyway, that's Thompson. Thompson at that time told me, and it's the first time it had ever crossed my mind, he was like a couple months into or whatever, he told me, he was like, you know, I realized that you've been, you had been doing like stand up and you're trying to doing the comedy thing

for a while and everything. He's like, and I know it wasn't like going bad, but then he's like, I just think it's wild that right after you stopped drinking and got your, you know, shit together. from a health perspective, he's like,

I just think it's wild that right after you did that for the first time, you immediately exploded or whatever. And in my head at the time, and also not just at the time ever since then, because of course I went right back to drinking. We went on tour immediately. I got drunk and fucked living like a rock star. The whole time regained all that weight.

But anyway, and I kept, you know, I've maintained a career ever since then. And I've, but, you know, I've drank off and on. but not to any kind of problematic degree. So I, even the whole time and even now, I have thought like, huh, yeah, I don't know. I'm skeptical that that actually had anything to do with it,

that it was, that I still think that was just like a coincidence. But that also has happened with you. And you hear, and you hear it. I don't know. Right, yeah. You hear it from so many comedians. Now, a lot of times it's like, you know, as soon as I got sober, I started doing better.

And it was like someone who was at raging out. alcoholic, which of course was holding them back. But, like, I've heard it several times from people who were just like, yeah, my thing was I just stopped drinking at the clubs. I cut back on drinking. And realistically, to me, like, it's very simple. It just adds hours to my day. Period.

Yeah, you don't feel like shit. I don't, yeah. Like, while I'm drinking, I'm not saying that you can't create good stuff while you're drinking. Of course you can. Like Hemingway, right, you know, right drunk, edit, sub, of course you can. But, like, for the most part, you're throwing away most of that shit when you're drunk. So like that's wasted time being drunk.

And then the next day, I'm not doing a goddamn thing because I'm so hung over. And then the next day, maybe I'm not still hung over, but my endorphins are so gone that I don't have any creative juices at least. So like you get one good drunk. That's possibly three days that you just can't do really shit because creative, as you know, it's not like you can just sit. It's not like a nine to five thing where you just go, okay, I will be creative right now. You know, like that's not how it goes. So we should say it. We should say it because I keep.

thinking about all these hypothetical brand new listeners we have this week, but I'm sure there's at least a few. We should say, Corey was not, Corey was not like a full-blown alcoholic who recently went to rehab and cleaned up, and that's what we're talking about. He just, uh, like to drink and he was a good old boy. Yeah, and he lived wrong, me and him both live wrong. And he just recently stopped drinking. Yeah, this wasn't, but except for every three weeks or so, he likes to reset, which is what he calls getting drunk one good time. I haven't done it, though. I skipped my last two. That's the thing, because, and I told you. Been nine weeks?

Well, no, I know it ain't been nine weeks. It's been, the last time I got drunk was the Mike Tyson fight, November 28th. Damn. So. Like seven? Yeah, I mean, but what I'm saying is, like, I didn't purposefully, like, skip the recent. Like, I forgot that it was even due because I don't care. And, like, I, like, I considered drinking on New Year's, and then I, like, I even went and picked up booze and just didn't.

it's just I've been I and I'm I definitely know like dude again the first time we're all able to hang out I know what's going to happen I'm going to want to have a beer so it's not like I'm saying like I'm never drinking again I know I will but like it just hasn't it's just not blowing my skirt up like I'm genuinely and I know this won't be hard for y'all to understand I've replaced my like addiction my habit my addiction is like making good shit like making good videos and working on my podcast and having the energy to do it. And also, I fucking walk three and a half hours a day, like a manic lunatic.

So it's just, yeah, I've just replaced my addictions is all I've done. I've been drinking these at night and it's helping me not drink sometimes. Those hit. I guess not everybody's watching. They're called Zenify. It's just like a chill out drink. Yeah. Well, I mean, what do you?

Is it time to shift to the bad stuff? No, I don't know. I just, I don't know. we just had a dead spot there which didn't hit. I mean, sure, hell. Yeah, I mean, people should know what it is we normally do, which I wouldn't, I wouldn't classify what I think you're about to do is what we normally do. We normally talk about silly shit a lot of times.

I think it's just like with my video, like that type of video is not what I normally do, but every now and then it does happen. And obviously we're going to talk about it on here. But yeah, Drew, if you want to bring us down, go ahead. I don't but I will we had a goddamn insurrection oh right that

I thought you were talking about the fucking Titans game are you serious I knew what he was talking about I would much much much much rather talk about the insurrection than the Titans game Me too

easily far and away by a mile yeah okay I all right listen yes let's talk about it for a minute. Corey got real mad about it that day.

That was the subject of the rant itself. I put out one of, I put out a liberal redneck video on the subject where I was mostly made, and there's been plenty of that too, plenty of making fun of it, but that's what I want to bring up. Like,

I know, I know that it is a wild ass and unsettling and disturbing and upsetting thing to have happened. Yeah. I know that, but I still am falling mostly on the side of, it has not changed how I feel about these people is what I'm trying to say, meaning like it ain't like they really fucking accomplished. They still came off as like dipsets at the end of the day, like incompetent dip shits in my opinion. Like I feel like this is, we've been saying the whole time, I don't know how many times I've said.

People bring up the idea of like, what, what are they going to do if he? he loses. And the whole time I've said, and I hope I don't end up eating these words still, but I've been like, I'm not worried about what they're going to do because, like, they don't do anything well. Like, they just, they just don't. And then I feel like this, this, to me, kind of proves it. I know they got all the way into the Capitol building, but then did what? To a bunch of dumbass, self-incriminating pictures, and now the FBI's rounded them all up, and they didn't change anything. Like, so I, I don't want to, No. I'm not that worried in the aftermath personally.

I see a bunch of people making the comparison. They're like, well, Hitler had a failed coup attempt. And then 10 years later, he was in power. And I'm like, all right. But like, who's the Hitler in this situation? Like, Trump. Donald Trump ain't live in 10 more years. He ain't living 10 more years.

And also, he's not going to get reelected. Like, that there's no way. That's so unprecedented. That's not been a thing where someone wins, loses, comes back. Grover Cleveland did that, which I've always thought. Oh, word.

Weird. I don't know anything else about Grover Cleveland, but I know that he did what you just said. He won, lost, and then came back and won again.

Actually, you know what? The loss might not even be part of it. I don't know the story. That's how history dumb I am. I know that he served a term. Someone else served. Grover Cleveland came back,

served another term. He may have chosen not to run for reelection for whatever reason. Because that's just hard. I don't know. That's really hard. to imagine. But also, they're trying to impeach him right now for the second time, which they should. And my understanding is if that actually, if they get off their ass and push that through, which they won't.

But if they did, if they did, then yeah, he's not able to even run again anyway. So, but also, how old? He's like 70 what, 76 or something like that? Yeah, he's only like one year younger than Biden or some shit. And he's not in good shape. No. So I don't know. Well, dude, like he, yeah, and the impeachment's very important too, because I know I kind of flippantly like an idiot was like, oh yeah, we're going to do it right here at the end. But like, A, what you just said is true. He's unable to run again. B, it, he doesn't get his pension, which fuck him. He don't deserve nothing.

And also he don't get secret service details. So like, woodhead. Yeah. But so I'm just saying the coup, I think most people feel like, oh, this coup was both comical and horrifying. Yeah. And I agree with that. But I'm not.

I'm not having existential panics over this at all. Can I just be me and go the opposite route now? Yeah, of course. I mean, I've known that's where this is going to go. But yeah, please. Well, first of all, there's nothing that says he can't run again. If he's impeached? I mean, impeached.

First of all, we'd have to win the impeachment. Yeah, I know. Literally, you know. I don't think that'll happen either. But that, I'm saying if they actually did that, that would preclude him for. It depends on the crime. But it depends on the crime.

I was reading about it earlier. It depends on what he gets impeached for. There's nothing in the Constitution that says if you get impeached, you can't be president. But if it's treason, you know, or there's certain, like, you know what I mean? So, I mean, you're probably right. But that was just my first quick comment. Also, like, I'm not saying he won't be alive in four years, but he will definitely not be good enough to run. To be clear, I think we should kill him. And I mean legally, I mean legally, and I think it would be

the best thing for this country, genuinely, because he has united a lot of people who otherwise wouldn't have been united. Here's my, I guess, counter to what you said. I didn't disagree with anything you said. I've been laughing at them. I made fun of them immediately and got some flack for it. I think they're fucking dumb. But the way I express it is, Not every person who stormed that capital was like a right-wing militant, open-white supremacist douchebag, but every right-wing open white supremac douchebag saw that, saw the police let them in some of the gates, saw the senators encouraging it, saw the president inside it, and that doesn't make me think they're going to take over our government. They're not. It makes me think that violence is going to erupt over

over the next two to three weeks and people are going to die. It makes me think or worry that our FBI and our police forces have been more indoctrinated in this weird MAGA Q&N cult than I realized. And that that is going to lead to more violence and pain over the next couple months or a couple years. I don't think a civil war is coming necessarily. But, you know, the Q-Bords and A-chan and all that is. is lit up right now with people saying that they're planning, attacking every fucking capital, every single state capital.

Now, are they going to be dipshits? Yeah, but like more people are going to die. And again, people who are better prepared are going to have been emboldened by this. There is no way that's not true. Yeah, I mean, I agree with that. My only saving grace on that is like, it's not like these people didn't have these ideas during the Obama administration. I know because I just heard it all the time. It's just that the Trump administration did embolden them.

I'm saying like I feel like because he's still in power, they feel like we've got this get out of jail free card. And I'm not saying right as soon as Biden takes over, it'll be different. But I do think there's going to be at least an air of difference. Like, hey, our team, it's not a home game right now. You know what I'm saying? They're being, and I know there's like 80,000 people there or whatever. And so a ton of them have not.

but all the ones that like, you know, went viral in pictures and stuff like that have been arrested by the FBI. And I saw the FBI is considering federal murder charges for the people involved with what happened in that cop. That's the other thing. Yes, the cops just letting them in, but one of those cops got beat to death by the mob. And so I feel like maybe next time maybe they won't just let them in and worries that they too would get beaten to death like their compatriot did. But anyway, I'm just saying they're actually – right now, there's 10 days left in the Trump administration, and they're facing accountability. They're facing consequences for what they did. They didn't just, like, get away with it. And, yeah, so I don't – and also –

But like, what about in Corey's area, you know, like DJ was telling me today that they're having some kind of rally up in Wallaceville. You know, I don't know who that sheriff is. I don't even know where Wallaceville is, but like, are they going to get arrested? And if they don't, who are they going to hurt? Like, I'm not, I'm not terrified that they're going to take, that Donald Trump's going to remain president and be a dictator. I feel pretty certain. More violence is on the way.

Number one. Number two, I think they've already changed history, though. They don't have to keep Donald Trump as president to change history. I think Patriot Act, too, is coming. I think that we now are going to have a situation. where a bunch of otherwise progressive or liberal people are clamoring for the FBI to do something about these people. And that's going to lead to the Patriot Act, too. And we're just going to crawl further down that hole of, I don't know, man.

It's a dark day, in my opinion. Just not because Donald Trump's going to remain president. He won't. But it's already dark, in my opinion. I mean, I agree with you. And also to talk about what you were talking about, Wallaceville is, it's a, Oh, what do they call them? It's, uh, God damn it.

When something ain't a town, but it's got a name unincorporated. Unincorporated. Yeah. Yeah. And it's between, uh, my house now and where I used to live. And it is the predominantly black area of this area. So that will be some shit. And I really hope that that's not true.

The DJ claims it's true. Like that he, I don't know if he said he saw it or he heard about it. But all I'm saying is that's already a nightmare. Right. So, so. So that's what I'm worried about. I don't have fears about our government being toppled, but I do have fears about our government taking this,

you know, as the same excuse they took 9-11 and making our world a little shittier. Yeah, and I mean, the revolt, yeah, I mean, like the backlash on that is going to, because I don't even know what I'm saying right now, but like it's already like, oh, my rights, my rights, my rights, my rights, my fruit. They're banning me from Twitter. They're taking my gun. And like, yeah, any tinkering of that whatsoever just for the, like,

that ain't going to be good. but I have to just believe that once Biden, again, no president can change anything, especially right off the bat, but like once it's not a fucking home game for them, I think shit will change a little bit. There's another thing that I think it hasn't been mentioned yet that I believe will be a factor. And yes, I'm being, you know, the optimist in this conversation. And that is that like, I think you could tell those people, a lot of them in any like the clips you saw or whatever, hearing them talk. I think a lot of those people genuinely, truly believed that they were like being heroes and that they would be like cheered on in these efforts to do the right thing.

And that's not what happened. Like, I mean, here's how you can tell a lot of just like regular conservatives or, you know, other Republicans and stuff were not down with that. And you could tell because they started saying, Oh, that really wasn't even, that was the left is what that was. That was Antifa, which is fucking stupid and ridiculous and shitty and can't let them get away with that. But I'm just saying it illustrates that they weren't on board with it. And I think those people that went there that day, I don't think they were expecting that.

I think it goes beyond just they weren't, they clearly weren't expecting any consequences. But I think it goes just beyond that. I think they were expecting to be like lauded. Yes. Like carried out on people's shoulders. Yeah, like Star Wars at the end. being arrested by the FBI in charge of federal murder and stuff. Like that,

it didn't go the way they thought it would go. And that absolutely. I think that will have an effect on it too. I agree. The effect from, from their perspective, I mean. I think it'll split them. I think that it'll,

it'll take a lot of them and make them go, what the fuck, I'm out. And then they'll take a portion of them and they'll go, see, it's deep state. Right. They're all against us. And, I mean, you know,

you probably saw pictures of people in Dalton, Georgia, lining up outside of an Academy of Sports before it opened so they could get guns and ammunition. And those weren't, in my opinion and in my heart, those weren't people who were like, I can't wait to go shoot a black person. Those were people who were like, goddamn, it's on. Everyone's fucking thinking that it's on right now. And that feeling alone is a powder keg, in my opinion. And then the other thing, I mean, Donald Trump put people in the National Guard.

He got rid of people and he put people who were loyalists in. seemingly so he could keep them from coming in quickly. And I'm saying that all that has already changed America. There's only two ways to go from there. Either that's the blueprint for the next person to fuck us or, you know, our FBI, whoever reacts to that appropriately and tries to change it. But every single time we ask them to fix something, they fuck something else up.

It's a bad day is all I'm saying. It's definitely a bad day. I'm not trying to argue that it's not a bad day. day. I'm just trying to have the, everybody I think is split on how they feel about the prognosis or the outlook or whatever in the aftermath of that bad day. And I'm on the more optimistic end of that spectrum is what I'm saying. Part of that is me just, you know, choosing to be or telling myself to be or whatever. But, you know, I think there's legitimate arguments to be made. Just trying to maintain hope. Did you see that there, like a lot of companies are pulling their support for any candidates that wouldn't validate the vote.

They're suspending their campaign payments unless they validate the vote. Yeah, well, and right. And that, yes, and I also saw like the National Association of Manufacturing Companies or something like that, just a bunch of like big, like factory companies, people that make shit, collectively sent a letter to Mike Pence asking him to remove Donald Trump and, you know, whatever. Yes, and money talks. It always has.

I mean, those are the people, those are their masters, you know. Right. Ultimately are those people. So why does that scare you? I feel like that's... Because they wouldn't do that for a moral reason. They're worried. They're worried if this doesn't happen that we're going to have more problems

that the economy is going to falter. Yeah. Like, the fact that they're reacting makes me think that this is serious. Yes. Right. I hear you on that. but I think them doing something will be effective is what I'm saying because they listen to them, you know. Yeah, they're owned.

I mean, that's a dark thought in and of itself. Yes, that's also true. But I know what you mean. I guess I think we agree about most things. I guess the difference is this. In a year, I think Joe Biden's president and unfortunately a bunch of fucking people died in a pandemic and we're back to not giving a fuck about black people as a country mostly. but within that year I think a lot more people die

I think there's a lot of violence and I think the FBI uses all that violence and cops use all that violence as a reason to become even more militarized and arrest more Black Lives Matter protesters as one example of what they'll do well listen

y'all out there if you're freaked the fuck out by all this you know what you should do Corey you should check out talk space that's what you should do because right now if you're feeling overwhelmed with everything, that's because you're human. There's a lot to be anxious about right now, right? A whole lot.

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but I'm a very forgetful person. So I know when I pick them out that it hits for me. And then I've already forgot by the time I go get them. So I open up the box and it's like Christmas morning. Last week, I think it was last week, I had the duck all orange for the first time. It was tremendous. And something that they haven't told us to tell you, but I'm going to tell you, because as Trey said, you get to cook it yourself, which hits for us.

Here's something that it really did for our family. All right. my wife used to just think she could not cook. She was just like, I had to cook. And for the record, when I say I had to cook, I love cooking. But I would cook and she's like, well, just I'm not good at it like you. We had Hello Fresh. And then I was on the road.

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Just a specialized tool that only is for zesting fruit. I bought one of those because of this. Yes, the long one. They hit so hard. They do hit. But yeah, that's another thing. that, like, that again, it's not there for us to tell you about, but like, it teaches you a lot of basic skills that maybe you didn't have.

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Y'all have a week to do it. I believe. That's true. Yeah, and the audience looks out every week. Well, back to it. I had a, you know, I keep my list of little random topics I think of an interesting to talk you all about. And I have one if y'all are ready to move on from the apocalypse or, you know,

I mean, I'm always, I'm always ready to move on from the apocalypse because. Yeah, I think once we hit the sponsors, you know, it's the apocalypse sponsor by Hello Fresh. Right. Well, so this is something every comic just, knows to be true, but it's something I don't think we've talked about on the podcast before. And I know sometimes it's like the whole dissecting of frog theory of talking about why things are funny. But this is also related to Corey's experience this past week and mine with my viral

videos. And that's the principle of it's not what you say, but how you say it. Yeah. Right? Which everybody's aware of. It's like, you know, and some certain, like, Corey, part of why Corey's ran it to what I did for people, I guarantee you. is because he sounds like what people envision the dudes at the capitol sounding like, right? Yeah, it would be a bad read. Right. And so how you say things is a huge part of how they come across. And even me as a comedian knowing that and understanding that, sometimes I'm just like, I hear something and I'm like, why is that so goddamn funny to me?

And here's the example that prompted this whole thing. I know y'all both know it and love it. I quote it all the time. I probably have quoted this on the podcast for it, but I'm going to do it again. Cousin Eddie in fucking Christmas vacation, right? He has a million banger fucking lines in that movie. Me and Corey talked about before, like, he don't show up for like the first 40 minutes of the movie or something. 42.

First 42 minutes of the movie, Cousin Eddie Free. But when he shows up, he comes out swinging hate boy. No character has ever been introduced in a more fucking just fastball after fastball. after fastball fashion than Cousin Eddie in that movie, I don't think. But he says so many goddamn funny things. But my personal favorite, though, has pretty much always been or has been for years, the following. He's talking about his kids and what they're up to, his older kids. And he says, the older boy is pursuing his career.

And Clark goes, ah, college, you go, no, Carnival. He's like, and he's not. what you're back to say. It's the last line of what I'm about to say is my favorite line of the whole movie. But he goes, no, Carnival. Yeah, I got him, right now they got him spreading, spreading pixie dust on a tilt-a-whirl. He's hoping if he, maybe next season work his way up to guessing people's weight or barking for the yak woman. You ever see her?

She got these big horn. Yeah. Ugliest sin, but a sweet gal and a hell of a good cook. And that's my favorite line he has in the whole movie. That last one, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal and a hell of a good cook. And like, I was just thinking about that line the other day. I probably think about that line once a week for the past 30 years or whatever. I just love it so much.

And the other day, I was thinking, like, I don't even know why. I don't know. It's just so perfect. Like, he has so many lines in that movie that are jokes. They were written as jokes. And they're very funny. But that one just like, that just seems like a thing. what that real person would say in that situation.

That joke is funny because it's a character-driven joke. Right. That on the page isn't funny. There's plenty of stuff that Cousin Eddie says that on the page is funny. Right. You know, falls down a well, eyes go cross, kicked by a mule that go back. I don't know. Like that on the page is funny.

And a hell of a good cook is only funny because we have already, like, we've just been introduced to Eddie and they have laid out so much character fucking detail that we know this guy and therefore that line works coming out of his mouth where it wouldn't come out of Clark because I've just heard, you know many times I've heard my dad describe

an unfortunate looking woman as a great cook. It ain't zero. She can cook though and I'm like, what was the first part? We didn't. I, uh, Andy and I have an inside joke. We were stoned one night. None of us remembers the context. But now we just say to each other, and in our minds it's an old lady smoking, mad as hell going, he told me he was a pharaoh. No clue what it

means. No clue what the context would be. I don't know if this counts. I'm going to reference our own work, gentlemen. I was going to bring this up too, actually. Go ahead. The best I've ever felt related to comedy not on stage was when Pete, our good buddy Pete, delivered the line at the end of the accent problems sketch. Now, that might have read kind of funny on the page, but I don't know because I had to fight for it. I think y'all got it, but I don't think our overlords at Comedy Central got it. And I know the director was confused about it, and she's hilarious. And then when he, and he wasn't confused at all. And when he hit it, I felt chills go through my body because he hit the line exactly as I heard it in my head.

And the line, for those of you, I didn't mean to bury the lead here, is this dude's being racist, telling us racist jokes, thinking that we'll like it because of our accent. It turns out we don't. That's the way of the sketch. And at the end, a hot chick comes up to him and thinks that he's not the racist, that we were the racist. And he goes, yeah, those guys, I was trying to tell him about the blacks and how the lives matter. It was money.

The whole, like, everyone had to stifle of a laugh. And it was like, it worked and it felt like magic and the character and Pete got it. And then also it was like on our part, I felt like some validation of like, we try to fight for this joke. We told you all. See, I know. To put Pete over a little bit a lot because I love Pete. But dude, he murdered that role. Absolutely.

He was killing me the whole goddamn time. He was fucking murdering that when he goes, hey, come on, guys, you hadn't even heard the one about how the Puerto Rican can't tap dance. Like he's like he's like he just smashed man he was so great. Yeah

Pete Revello on Twitter at Peter Ville and he does characters he just put one out about a woke priest and it's so goddamn fun yeah we

what I was going to bring up a different thing related to our work but we're very well I feel like we are affected by this whole principle more than most

because how many times have we had the conversation about things like when we've written pilot scripts or whatever with jokes or whatnot where it's like you you gotta hear it though like you like you were just like if you just like with a page character my little sister character or something like that so many of her lines on there it's like i know we hear them we hear like page say it in our heads right god damn that's funny but again if you just read it it won't necessarily seem that funny and i've always worried about that shit with scripts because it's like when these i do too decatives read them or whatever i know they're not i want to just

like, I want to give like little footnotes to every joke or something. It's like, please, God, just please imagine this in this way, which is also related to, speaking of footnotes. And we wrote our book. Yeah, we wrote a book, a liberal redneck manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark. Buy it. We wrote it like phonetically. And we talked a lot about whether we should do that or not.

And I know some people think that's like cheesy or whatever, but the reason we did that was so we were trying to do everything. we could do to ensure that anyone who read the book read it in like our accents or whatever because it has a huge impact on how things sound. We suggest everybody get the audio version if you are new to this. If you're going to get it, get the audio version because yeah, that is very important. But I do not worry about that too. Like what you brought this up earlier, I went back and reread some Downton Flabby just to read past us hitting.

And I was reading it and I was like, God damn it, we're fucking fire. But then like I had the thought in some ways. I was like, I wonder if they read it like the way I'm, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a regular voice. Right, like if you don't know me, I don't know if this hits. And that's a bad way to think. Well, that's why getting over hits.

Yeah, that's true. Because then the people know you. Yeah, that's true. Does hit. Yeah, does hit. Oh, man. Did y'all know that there is a play? and I know that Drew knows of this place,

but there is a place one hour from downtown Los Angeles where it can snow up to 21 inches in a goddamn day. Is that where you got stuck? That place is called Mount Baldi, and I know of it because I went there on my son's birthday, and it snowed 21 inches, and we got stuck on Mount Baldi for 11.5 fucking hours with 500 other, you know, of the worst drivers Southern California has to offer in a

a Southern California blizzard. I didn't, literally, other than mainly when we were in that Nor'easter and Buffalo on tour that time, other than maybe that, but even that, I'm not convinced because I'm from the South, this is the most snow I've ever seen in my entire life. And it was in like right at the Los Angeles area. I never, maybe that's like common. knowledge. I never knew that was even a thing.

It was 21 inches that day. 21 inches. So almost two feet. Two feet of fucking snow. When I was in Wyoming, they had, there was, there was snow that was up to like the base of the fucking stop sign at one point. Now, granted, they'd like packed it on here, but that's a, that's an insane thing to see for someone like us. who grew up with there's a snowflake we're not going to school. Exactly.

But I don't say. How the fuck is that? That's not that much. But yeah, for me and it being here, that's a fucking lot of snow. I had no idea. That's a crazy part to be in because the thing about Wyoming in a similar way was that it would be that amount of snow and then the next day would just be like 60 for some reason. And then the next day it would snow. You know what I'm saying?

Like it went back. but what like how high up is Mount Baldi? Oh, it's like 7,200 feet or something like that. Mald. Yeah, and that's a high. That's a real amount.

That's how it, that's how that happens in Southern California, the places where it snows, it's because the mountains get high real fast. Right. Like they are steep and they get pretty high and so they can be like white caps. And I'd heard of like Big Bear. I know about Big Bear or like Lake Tahoe and places like that I'm aware of.

But I didn't know there was a place that close to Los Angeles that fucking snowed like that. It blew my mind. And then ruined our entire day after it blew my mind. Do you feel like more of a Jeep owner now? Yes. You're like a lock up against? I was about to say like I feel like every Jeep owner like you have to experience something like this for it to fully christen you into the club. The Jeep was a dream.

Just driving by people. their teslas? Yes. Yes. Yeah, the whole time. We got out of there quicker than a lot of people did because of being in a Jeep 100%. But yeah, I've had that Jeep for four years and I ain't never took it off road or anything up until then.

It was very much a fucking asphalt warrior or whatever. But it came through. That's the first time it was like, okay, well now I need this Jeep to do some Jeep shit. And it jieped all over it. It didn't have, it had no problems whatsoever. Is it four-wheel drive automatic or? you got to lock the hub caps like the old school. No, no, you don't have to get out locked the hubcaps.

I never had a new four-wheel drive, but it always hit for me to lock the hub caps. It felt like a man's job, pardon me, I'm going to get out of my car and do a thing. Yeah. Yeah, I've never experienced that. I don't know why it snows there. I mean, also, though, it don't rain here.

So that's another thing that's weird about that. It's not just that it's cold enough to snow. It doesn't rain here. Yeah, where's it's that like it gets trapped? Like the rain goes over our head. but gets trapped in them mountains? No, it was raining here in Los Angeles that day too and raining a lot.

You know, like it doesn't rain often when it does, it rains a lot. It was just raining a lot in the area and up there because it was so high, it was under freezing. So that came down to snow and it was a fucking straight up blizzard. But yeah, Katie, like when we planned it, of course the mountain's always there. And what they do is they put, because Katie told me, because I was like, hey, I ain't got no, I don't have any fucking snow gear. None of us do.

We're from Tennessee and we live in Los Angeles. And she was like, and she was like, oh, it's, it's, it's going to be like 54 degrees. The snow is fake. She's like, that's, no, is fake. It is most of the time. They have a snow mountain. Right. That's what I'm saying.

90% of the time it is. It's like they put fake snow out on a mountain. You can like go tubing with the kids or skiing and shit like that. But the snow is fake. Was that your plan? Was that what you're going to do? Yes. How much are that machines you reckon? It was like 50 something degrees.

And Katie told me. morning she's like you know it's going to like actually snow today like for real snow and at first we were pumped we were like oh well shit we hit the jackpot because that's even better the boys get to play in real snow not thinking it would be a fucking you know snowpocalypse or whatever yeah but because we knew it was going to snow we went to a big five or whatever and got some like you know snow overalls and some uh snow boots and shit like like cheap ones but still we weren't up there in like jeans and shit in 21 inches of snow, thankfully. But still, we and everyone else were definitely woefully underprepared for the onslaught of

shit. The other thing I'll say, though, about that, like, they showed it on the news that night. We got back in Katie saw on Facebook that the LA News had covered it. They were like, over 100 drivers stranded on Mount Baldy and vicious snowstorm or whatever. First of all, it was easily three or 400 cars, like, for sure. And secondly, they ended that. was saying, but not to worry everyone, the CHP is working through the problem and they're dedicated to make sure everyone gets off the mountain safe.

CHP is California Highway Patrol. We saw one California Highway Patrolman a mile out of the mountain past where the snow had already stopped, just sitting on the road. We met him coming out and we stopped and he was like, so how's it looking up there? And this is like 12 hours later. and I was, I was like, uh, it's looking really bad, man. I was like, it's a whole thing. And he was like, oh, so pretty rough, huh?

And I was like, yeah. Don't hood. They did, yeah, he was like, pretty much. He's like, oh, don't hit. And we just left. Like, he didn't, there, and he's the only cop we saw. And on the news, they were talking about CHP out there working diligently. They weren't doing shit.

That was the other thing that kept blowing my mind. They lied to the news. That's the other thing that was blowing my mind the whole time. Again, dude, 12 hours we sat there. And the whole time I'm like, I'm like fucking, where are the authority? Where is anyone like fire, any kind of emergency services of any kind? There was none, dude, none at all. All these people were just like on their fucking own, basically.

I don't know. That part was wild to me too. I know it's a very rare thing, but it's still like, it doesn't never happen. You know what I mean? Like it's, no, they warned you to be. Was it Bishop or Benton's birthday? Benton's birthday. Did he still have fun?

No. He did. I mean, he did to begin with. He was having a great time. He's a show. You can't keep him encapsulated. It all got soured completely by what came after. We were watching the first Spider-Man

MCU Spider-Man movie last night. We'd seen it before, but we were just re-watched last night. Spider-Man Homecoming. Yeah. And the part with the Staten Island Fairy at the end, where it's like, but he's trying to keep it from sinking. Yeah.

Benton said, he said something like, he said, being on that ferry would be almost as bad as getting stuck on Mount Baldi. And I was like, almost,

I was like, Benton, you didn't die. I was like, those people are going to die if that ferry sinks. I was like, you were,

you just sat in the, they got to meet Spider-Man. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that. comparable, you know? And he was like, he was like, okay, that's like a little bit worse. Talking about the ferry is what he says. He's like, that's a little bit worse than what happened to us. That's Amber's marital status. Stuck on Mount Baldi, am I right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you remember the first time I went there? I said Mount Baldi or what all my aunts want to do when they see a well-read show? That's right. Mount Baldi, that's a good. It's funny you say it, because as soon as he said Mount Baldi, I was like, I was like, one of us has made some sort of Mount Baldi joke before. And I mean, obviously it was about me. Yes. And my aunts, because two of them have met you, and I'm pretty sure wanted to fuck you. I mean, you'll have that.

I guarantee that did. Another little side note about that. I told you all this via text, but there's a baldy in Salina. That's also where I'm from. There's Baldy in Clay County. That's also a, like, you know, a hill. It's like, you know, you have to go up. go up baldie he can went up bald you have to go up baldie right so it's elevated but not a fucking

mountain but that baldy is just like it's where like redneck high schoolers there's a mud hole up there so you go up there and you go mudding or you go up there to like smoke weed and fuck and stuff yeah right we had a sippy hole yeah and that's uh that's what baldy is for so like we had at where i'm from so i can't help but uh have that connotation with it the whole time it just seems like a, it seems like a, it seems dirty to me, is what I'm saying. I know what you mean. You know what you mean? Well, you weren't go up there and get a cabin and take the boys and let them tube.

And then when they go to sleep, get high and fuck Katie and take it back to your roots. Well. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we'll hit. We'll hit. You got distracted by some. I did.

I'm sorry. I got a. It's okay. Hey, it's okay because I have to go, uh, do sound check to be on CNN. So. Yes, sir. Does you. Make a hit, Joe.

I will. Also, parting thoughts. I've lost 30 pounds, motherfuckers. How about you? That's awesome, baby. Three, oh, but listen, would you, how much does it look like I've lost? Eight. In the face?

Yes. Yeah. You've pointed out before, you take the hat off and you've slapped your head. You're like, look, that's bone. Don't hit. That's not fat. I can't lose that. That's my skull.

Don't hit. This is what it is, babe. everything about you is exactly the way that it should be. Well, skew. Scoot. Thank you all for listening to the well-red show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skew. They're the... They're the... They're rednecks. Cornbread, but sex. They care way too much, but don't... Give a fuck.

Next that makes some people upset. They got three big old dicks that you can suck.