wellRED podcast - #204 - Pre Inauguration Show w/Smart Mark Agee!
Episode Date: January 21, 2021The boys welcome Smart Mark Agee to talk inauguration, the Flobots song "Handlebars" and much more! SORRY THIS IS LATE THE CHO IS SICK...
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And we thank them for sponsoring the show.
Well, no, I'll just go ahead.
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I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life.
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A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis.
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I can be one of those people.
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Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people.
People across the ske universe, I should say.
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Do you even know?
Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery?
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Hey, everybody.
Well-readcom.
W-E-L-R-E-D-Comody.com.
That is where you can find out where we're going to be whenever they let us start doing stuff.
You can grab our merch, the liberal redneck manifesto, Dragon Dixie out of the dark.
our album well-read live in Lexington, all critically acclaimed.
And hey, since you like podcasts, why don't you check out our sister podcast?
I have Through the Screen Door, Drew has Into the Abiscuit with DJ DJ Lewis,
and Trey and guest today, Smart Mark Agee, have the evening skews.
And also, Trey, if I'm not mistaken, you want to let us listen to a song real quick?
Is that the deal?
Yes, Flowbots by Handelbars.
If you don't, it came out in 2008.
It's wild, in my opinion, so I'm about to play it for y'all.
You hear it?
Bull Box is an all-time great name for a band, for a hip-hop band, by the way.
It's kind of mad they wasted on this group.
I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handle bars.
I can ride my bike with no handle bars, no handle bars.
No handle bars.
Look at me, look at me, hands in the air, like it's good to be.
Alive and I'm a famous rapper even when the past are all crookedy.
I can show you how to docey dough.
I can show you how to scratch a record.
I can take apart the remote control and I can almost put it back together.
I can tie knot in a cherry stem.
I can tell you about Lee Ferrickson.
I know all the words with Jake Alores and I'm proud to be an American.
Me and my friends are a platypus.
Me and my friend made a comic book and guess how long it took.
I can do anything that I want because look.
I can keep rhythm with no metronome, no metronome, no metronome.
And I can see your face on the telephone.
All right.
On the telephone.
On the telephone.
Look at me, look at me.
Just called to say that it's good to be alive.
In such a small world, I'm all curled up with a book to read.
I can make money open up a thrift store.
I can make a living of a magazine.
I can design an engine 64 miles to a gallon of gasoline.
I can make new antibiotics.
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions.
I know how to run a business.
And I can make you want to buy a product.
Movers, shakers, and producers.
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the system
I can do anything with no assistance
Because I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
And I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule
I thought that was lyrics
I did too I was like I don't remember them lyrics
I can't believe I didn't get really this
This third verse
Listen this
I had the meeting.
Yeah.
It's all so good to be.
My reach is global.
My tower secure.
My cause is noble.
My power is pure.
I can hand out a million vaccinations.
Let them all die from exasperation.
Have them all heal from their lacerations.
Or have them all killed by assassination.
I can make anybody go to prison just because I don't like them.
And I can do anything with no permission.
I have it all under my...
Bars.
No handle bars.
I can ride my bike with no handle bars.
No handle bars.
handle bars. No handle bars.
That shit kicks up a notch, don't it?
Yeah, man. It's a progression, right?
Yeah. It's one of those things where, like, when you're a kid, you're like, this is mad deep.
And then you're like, nah, that's fucking bullshit. Then you let's do it 20 years later. You're like, you know, it was pretty deep.
Right. Okay. So, all right. Here we are. I want to start right now. I have since we just listen to it.
That way we can just go straight into it. Smart Mark is with us this week. Everybody, y'all know him. You love him.
my co-host on evening skews.
I just asked the guys before we started
if they remembered the song,
Handlebars by FlowBots,
because it came up on my workout playlist
the other day for the first time in a while.
And in my head,
I was just like,
holy fucking shit,
I hadn't,
and I didn't know if it was wild to me
just because I loved that song
when it came out when I was a 22-year-old pot head,
liberal living in Cookville,
and I was like,
fuck George Bush,
this song rules, you know, or whatever.
And if that, you know, when you like something when you're younger, you automatically like it when you're older.
So I was like, how wild is this really?
So I wanted to play it for y'all.
So y'all tell me how you feel about that, having just listened to that song.
That's pretty wild, right?
It's definitely, like, I can't believe that I never, like, thought about it more honestly.
Like, now that I'm thinking about that song, I just kind of remember it being.
I also remember a live version because that whole, I remember the dude screaming that satellite part.
Yeah, that, that I was actually going to tell you all.
but I was like, it don't matter.
Just fucking wrong with it.
I don't know why or how,
but the version I played you on YouTube,
that's not the, like,
Hitness version.
It's not the Hitness version.
Right.
It's not the version on Spotify and everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're talking about the part
where the crowd sings along with the chorus.
That song,
that song is in the same genre to me
as pumped up kicks
by Foster the people
because it's one of those things where it's,
and it's also a thing I'm a huge fan of.
It's like when you,
I'm always like,
hey, tell me,
tell me depressing things,
but play it in a major chord, not a minor chord.
You know what I'm saying?
That's one of them songs that kind of tricks you
and just thinking it's some like cool skateboard pop.
But under the surface, it's like, oh, shit, you know,
this dude was on something.
So for people that are listening, if y'all don't remember,
it was like a minor hit, I think, in 2008,
but not like a huge genre-defining smash or nothing.
But it came out a long time ago,
and the band never really did anything else.
But it's like, it starts out with,
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
And the first verse is basically like a little kid
trying to impress other kids or impress his parents or whatever.
Be like, look at all this cool stuff I could do,
trying to, like, impress people.
And then the middle verse, he's a little bit older,
trying to figure out how to make money and advance in the world and whatnot.
And then by the third verse, he's, like, basically the president.
And Trump, yeah.
And he's Trump.
Yeah, even though this song came out in 2008.
But again, he was George Bush, too, whatever.
Yeah.
But in the third verse, there's lyrics like,
I can hand out a million vaccinations or let them all die in exasperation,
have them all healed from their lacerations or have them all killed by assassination.
I can make anybody go to prison just because I don't like them.
And I can got a missile by satellite and all this.
I don't know.
I just think it's like, I don't, it's just, it's a hitting song.
It is a hidden song.
I wondered, I remember thinking about this song like the last year or so, and I was curious.
And yes, I did download it to my iTunes at that point.
It's in my iTunes library.
Apple, Apple Music, sorry.
And the cover art, if you guys can see it, is a bunch of like Antibated.
types wearing American flag bandanas over their faces.
And also, they did have an album come out this year in 2020.
So, let me, is it about Q and on?
The video for that talked about Abu Ghraib and the Iraq War.
Like, it showed references to that.
So that may be, and this might have been off Mike, Mark,
you were talking about one of year old roommates was convinced.
It was meant to be about George W. Bush.
I was too at the time.
I think at the very least, through there referencing that in the video, they were like,
he's an example of what we're talking about.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be hard for me to believe that in 2008, that's not what they were talking about.
Especially kind of like that first first, again, that first first has this kind of undercurrent of like, hey, daddy.
Right.
Daddy, look at me.
Look at all this stuff I can do, Daddy, you know, trying to impress his dad and whatnot.
I mean, yeah.
There is an undercurrent of like you could pick who they're satirizing.
It could be anyone because like American psycho could also be about George W. Bush or Trump.
It's like this like this specific American type of like people who become rich and successful just because they think they're doing cool shit and they're getting babes.
And they're going to like you could be the same kind of dude whether you're riding a bike with no handle bars or starting a multi-level marketing firm or blowing up a country with a nuke.
It's the same fucking type of dudes.
to be fair to the artist rapper singer whatever
flow bot
well Jamie Lori to be fair to flow bot
he says that it's it's broader than
than just Bush it's about how tragic
but beautiful our creativity is that
it starts out like we want to do creative things
and then eventually it often becomes destructive
right like Mark Zuckerberg
like right like yeah there's a lot of it's and I think Mark's right
just like it has to do with the American dream, right?
And like ambition,
ruthless ambition and whatnot and how it comes from just wanting people to like you
or people to think you're impressive or think you're cool,
you know,
when you're a kid,
like that's the root of it.
I mean,
like,
boom into.
The American dream we're probably,
especially if like you're like a straight white dude like we are.
Like it's like the whole world is like your oyster.
You could live like we went to the fucking moon, right?
We built nukes.
We fly.
We flew fast in the speed of sound.
Of course we can fucking.
whatever we want.
DJ and I were just literally talking about this two hours ago on this week's
end of the abisket.
And we were talking about like Q&N and white supremacist groups and all this stuff cropping
up.
A lot of it is that cracking.
It's like that those things we were implicitly promised.
The American dream and white male dominance, both which go hand in hand, just being
utter bullshit, especially right now in America.
Right.
And people are freaking out.
Yeah.
I was going to say, Mark.
I mean, tell me if I misunderstood you.
I totally get what you're coming from with, you know, if you're a straight white guy in America,
hey, the world is your oyster.
I totally understand and agree with that.
But I also think, like Drew just said, that the American dream, as it's understood, is largely bullshit.
And that is a big part of why people, especially our generations, you know, deal with depression and shit when they get out.
You reach a certain age and you kind of come to that realization, I think.
And I think that that's a big part of the.
mental health problem. You've talked about it for, Mark, America's great in so many ways,
but no, Americans are not happy or whatnot. I think that culturally has a lot to do with it.
I don't think the American dream is bullshit. I think that they just didn't, they didn't include
the subtext of who all is allowed to have it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, in order for the
American, the American dream is real, but there's a certain group of people who get to have it.
And by virtue, if the American dream is, you know, be rich, be successful, the thing they're not saying is, in order for this person to have the American dream, so many people under them have to work for them to make their American dream happens.
Like, it's not bullshit.
It's just like with anything.
Like, I mean, yes, it does.
I mean, I think, you know, speaking humbly here, gentlemen, I think I'm an example of the American dream.
You are.
I'm the American dream in action.
but part of my point with that is to me the American dream means like you can come from anywhere and do it.
If you've got dreams I could come true in this country and it doesn't matter where you start from.
And I'm saying that part is the part that statistically and by and large is bullshit.
Because the vast majority of people who make a lot of money and are super successful and whatnot,
the vast majority of them did not come from nothing.
Absolutely not.
And to me, that's not the American dream.
Right.
Like Jay-Z
Jay-Z is like the only example of a billionaire
that it's like he really did some shit.
I'm not saying any billionaire didn't have to like work to do it.
But like Jay-Z is the exception that proves the rule.
That like he's the only one you can think of it.
Like he sold crack and now he has a billion dollars.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't actually, I mean, this is the whole other conversation,
but I don't actually believe, I believe Biggie sold drugs.
I do not believe Jay-Z.
J-Z was in the Hawaii and Sophie video.
with a jazzo when he was like 17.
So I don't like, I don't know when he sold drugs,
but he was rapping in Hawaiian shirts and he was a child.
Well, okay.
That's the narrative, right?
What I'm saying, that's the story,
the supposed to story at least that he said.
I'm just saying like if however many billionaires there are,
I guarantee you 95% of them had a million dollars when they were born,
is what I'm saying.
Or more probably.
J.K. Rattling was a single mom fellow marriage up there.
With rich parents.
That was, but that,
but see, that's part of her narrative.
like, but she also came from a decent background.
She just fucked up and married the wrong dude.
So she'd fallen on kind of hard times,
but it was like a middle,
it was a middle rough few years.
It wasn't like she was like dirt poor is my understanding.
But if we're talking about the American dream in general,
not to come back to the song in a second,
but like,
a majority of people are successful start off success.
Like it's like America has less class mobility than England
who has a literal house of fucking lords.
Right.
Right.
But like the song is about like a song is about like a,
specific type of personality
that America creates where like
you're born into
above average privilege in the suburbs
your dad owns a car dealership you go
you play the high school football team
you're the local hero you go to whatever college
you want then you get elected to Congress
and now you're fucking running foreign policy
and you just you just been doing cool shit
you've been hitting since you were 14
you can do whatever you want
you know so
Drew weren't you trying to do you realize on
well I was going to say it's interesting that I agree
with everything Corey had said,
but take that as proof that
the American dream is bullshit.
Like he said,
the American dream is not bullshit,
and I disagree with that.
And then everything he said after that,
I did agree with.
So, I mean,
it might be a framing situation.
You know,
what is the American dream or whatever?
To me,
it's really an American myth.
And the myth is that anyone
can make it here.
With a little bit of
hard work and ingenuity, and we are learning that, A, that that's not true, and when you mix
that lie with the lie of white supremacy, which is the both explicit and implicit versions of
white supremacy, you end up with a lot of furious people because they were explicitly and
implicitly promised a certain type of life, and they're not getting it, and then you add to it
that terrestrial radio, Fox News,
and now the internet
has been telling these people for years
and the reason you're not getting it, boys,
all the goddamn Mexicans, blacks, Jews.
Yeah.
Those people don't want to believe in luck.
They can't believe in luck in good fortune.
Like, you know, there's that quote.
It's like so many people can't admit
that white privilege is a thing
because if they admit that,
then they have to look at themselves
in the mirror and see what they haven't accomplished
even with it.
Like, the thing with white privilege is
no one's like, me, for instance,
I do work my motherfucking ass off.
I really do.
I bust my ass and I think I deserve the things I get.
But I've been able to work my ass off.
I came from good parents.
I'm a white guy.
So because I worked my ass off, I was able to take advantage of all that shit.
There is plenty of people who work their ass off harder, as hard, if not harder than me.
And it ain't going to happen for them the way that it's happened for me.
I just, it's always, I don't understand why people can't.
Like, people think if you admit that there's white privilege, then that's you saying,
oh then what I didn't do nothing like that's stupid I don't understand why you can't know that both
exist that's I mean that thing you said at the end is that's exactly what it is people if they feel
like it's discounting yeah they're discounting themselves if they admit something like that I've
talked about this on it's like unrelated but I think it's the same thing working in somebody's brain
my wife was a personal trainer and we got together uh you know and she did that for years
whatnot I went to all kinds of fitness things with her I met a lot of fitness people and I've
talked about before, there's a thing with a lot of them too where they don't, they don't want to
admit that like genetics or whatnot have anything to do with the results that a person could get.
And I think it's the same thing in their head. It's like it's discounting the like amount of
work and whatnot they put into it, which is not what you're trying to do, but it's just ridiculous
to act like it has no effect. Of course it has an effect. And it's the same type of thing with white
people in white privilege, I think.
About white privilege is like people
just misconstrue what it did. Like to me, like
white privilege doesn't mean that your life doesn't suck.
It just means it's slightly more your fault
that it does.
Right.
Well, you don't know. The color your skin has nothing to do
with the fact that it sucks.
Mark, you had a, uh, you had a,
you texted me. I don't know, you told me
one time about the black tax.
Yeah. Like, if we change it to that, he
thinks people, we'll tell folks.
Yeah, white people hate taxes. It's like,
it's like, it's not saying your life's easier because you're
white. It's like, like, if you're redlined and you can't buy into a certain property in a certain
neighborhood, you have a longer commute to work if you're black. Like, that's just the basic
thing. Like, you're taxed 10 minutes out of your day each way.
Right. But what was interesting to me is you, you opined that white people might accept that.
Yeah. While they will never accept that they have white privilege, they might all agree and be
okay with us talking about black taxes, women taxes, gay taxes, you know, whatever words you
going to throw on it. And white people hate taxes. So it's it's a natural rhetorical thing.
It's like it's like yeah. I can see a good hearted good old boy going god damn we do need to
get rid of that black tax man. It's bullshit. It's like it's not it's not like a privilege
that I get to get away with shoplifting but it's definitely annoying to be followed around
in the store if you're black like I like I like I it's not like if you're like a
semi racist white person like if you're not stealing anything why do you care if it's falling you
around but like if you frame as a tax it's like I'm fucking being annoyed you don't have to be
annoyed like I get annoyed you know.
Not to just go into how much better I am than all these people were talking about here.
But like a couple of things.
First of all, the thing Corey said earlier about, no, I'm sorry, the thing that Drew said about, like, people are coming, having to grapple with this fact that the American Dream is bullshit and they were fed a bunch of lies and whatnot.
And, yeah, that, I went through all that too.
I feel like almost every member of our generation did.
I didn't become a fucking radicalized, dip shit lunatic because of it.
And, but also, the same.
thing with white privilege and not acknowledging it.
Like, I would argue with pretty much anybody that the bulk of my early life and my upbringing
and everything was in no way privileged.
Of course.
No privileges whatsoever.
But for me, but of course, white privilege is real.
Like, you know what I mean?
The fact that I have like my own personal anecdotal evidence, not even to the contrary,
I don't even want to say to the contrary, but you know what I mean?
Tray, but you guys know what I'm trying to say.
Like, I'm a straight white guy who, you know, faced adversity and everything growing up.
And I know that I know that that's real and being a poor white person fucking sucks.
And I'm aware of that very much.
But it would be asinine, it's still, regardless of all that, to act like it doesn't exist.
Of course it fucking exists.
The best way I ever heard it put was white privilege doesn't mean you've never struggled.
It just means that it was.
never because of your skin color.
Right.
That's it.
Yes.
It's also, that's another barrier you didn't have to overcome, Trey.
I mean, you deserve all the credit for your hard work and talent.
But, like, less so in comedy and probably more so in your career before comedy with the DOJ and all that.
You know, it was like you didn't have to fight things that other folks have to fight.
Like, once you got that degree, I mean, just like that time, you heard me yelling at that cop and you started to freak out.
Like, I almost feel like that was a, Trey, oh, sorry, but your wife.
now moment.
No, I used to say that, I had that bid I tried to do for a while that I never really
figured out about how, yeah, about how I'm having to get used to being white because for most
of my life I wasn't white.
I was red or I was white trash, you know, and I had that, it was actually a different
story.
Remember when we were in Atlanta, me, early on in the tour, it was like.
The other time you yelled at me.
One a.m.
No, it wasn't you.
One a.m. in Atlanta after a show, we found the only bar that was serving food.
I went there to eat.
Me and Corey went outside to smoke a cigarette.
This woman were still smoking cigarettes.
Actually, no, I was out there by my...
Corey, I went back inside.
I'm smoking a cigarette looking at my phone,
and a flashlight comes in...
And I'm standing in front of the restaurant,
and a flashlight comes in my face.
He's like, sir?
And still, my white trash, you know, heart starts beating him.
I'm like, oh, fuck, God damn it.
I'm like, yes, and it's a cop.
And I was like, yes, officer?
And he goes, he goes, you know after midnight you can smoke inside there, right?
It was so great.
He was like, you're like, you.
you have a good night now, sir.
It just walked off.
And I used to tell that story.
And I was like, in my head I'd be like, oh, right, I'm white now.
Yeah.
But the cop will tell you things you can do.
Right.
But even though the whole point of it was in line with, you know, whatever,
saying the right things or whatnot, people are weird about a white guy saying who, you know,
wasn't white or hasn't, you know, like trying to deny being white or something.
I think that was the problem that I had with it.
But either way, yeah.
I, people like, like, happiness isn't like a rational thing, right?
We're talking about anger and happiness.
Like, like, there's, like, there's like, did you just say happiness was irrational?
Was that what you just said?
Happiness isn't based on like rational stuff.
So like, oh, right.
Okay.
You can tell, you can tell somebody, look what you have.
You should be happy, but that's generally not how things work.
Oh, that's insane.
Um, we, we, the only definition of happiness that ever made sense to me,
what I think was Nietzsche is that like happiness is feeling like you're increasing in power and status, right?
If you feel like you're if your favorite definition of happiness was Nietzsche's,
there's a good chance you haven't been happy a lot.
No.
What was great about that is it got more Raven, the more he talked.
He said Nietzsche and I was like, here we go.
And then he was like, power status.
If you're better off to date and you were yesterday, you feel good about life.
Yeah.
But think about that in terms of like our generation is going to be the first in general.
This isn't necessarily true for the four of us on this call,
but when the first generation is to be worse off than our parents.
And that's true across America.
right yeah so so like and like all these like happiness research feels like the people like um like
people are happy with their income relative to their neighbors like a person will be happier
making 60 grand in the neighborhood where everyone makes 40 and they would be making a million
in the neighborhood where everyone makes two million right if you're better off than your neighbors
you feel good about yourself right so like that that's just true and like the weirdest thing is like
the most the most unhappy people in America they've done studies in this are people that have
five million dollars because five million dollar people live in neighborhoods of people that have
ten and they try to live the stat the lifestyle status of people that have ten and they're
right so it's like it's it's a weird level of rich to be that's one i've you seen that
really have you seen that study mark where it's like up to at the time of the study it was 60k
up to 60k and so before anyone makes 60k happiness is completely tied to your
money, not, you know, taking away your neighbors and all that. Like if you have less than that,
like if you have 50, you're a little less happy. If you have 30, like you got a lot of stress,
you know, you're unhappy. After that, after a certain level of security, there are unhappy and
happy people, but it seems to be divorced from their income completely, you know, other than what
you said if you're comparing yourself to your neighbors. We've talked about it on the podcast
before a really long time ago now, but that going through that process of being like poor and
broke your whole life and then finally having some amount of money. And for me, it's just
totally aligned with what you just said. It's like, it's just not having to fucking worry about
it. You know what I mean? Like if you don't have a lot, if you don't, if you're broke, you don't
have money, you're constantly fucking worried about things related to money. And that stress don't
hit. Cortersone, don't, no, whatever it is, don't hit for people, you know, of course not.
So like, it, yeah, money can't buy happiness, but it, you know, helps with all that other
But once you have enough to not worry about it anymore, then yeah, after that, it's all whatever.
Drew, that great line.
Drew had a great line one time.
I think it, I think this is what it is.
Drew, I'm sure going to butcher it.
But you said, no, money can't buy happiness.
But if I had money, I'd have time to work on all that other shit or something like that, right?
That was in a bit I had about how I want to murder rich people.
Right.
Yeah.
And I was talking about how people will say things, like that line, you know, money can't buy happiness makes me mad
because it's like only people who've never had to worry about money think that way.
It's true, but you have no context for it.
And shout out to my boy Jackson from college because he said that to me.
And I was like, can I put that in a bit.
Well, I can tell you, I can tell you right now, this is obviously just anecdotal one person's experience.
But I have, you know, I suffer from depression, whatever the scale is.
I don't know how to rank it.
I don't know if it's like one through 10.
What does your face look like on the pain scale?
You're from Georgia, so you're like top five but never number one.
Right.
Right.
But I will tell you right now, I'm not a rich man, but I'm comfortable.
Like I don't, I don't, this is where I'm at, I don't look at the price on shit I buy at the grocery store.
You know what I'm saying?
Like if I want something, I fucking get it.
That's not saying like I can just go out and do whatever I want, but like I'm comfortable and I'm telling, I'm promise you, dog.
Like, I still get depressed, but it's never about that and it's never as often because like,
you know, that was when I was a broke comic trying to make it and shit and like, like,
I didn't have, I didn't have no money and I was always upset about that.
So it made my other shit way worse.
But now that I don't have to worry about that, like, yeah, I still get the sads on other shit,
but like I'm able to just buy a new pair of sweatpants and then I'm happy about it.
You know what I mean?
And it hits.
Breaking news, well read listeners, uh, if, if you're comfortable and secure, it turns out you're
happier.
It's weird.
We figured that out.
I'm just saying it's like it's totally true.
I'm making fun of all of us because this whole conversation is basically around the theory.
Guys, if you have money, you're a little better off.
But, but I wish we had money and killed himself.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, it's there.
Yeah.
I wish DJ was on here.
We didn't know we were going to talk about this or I would have invited him on
because he's got such an interesting insight as an adult dealing with being poor.
And then working at the Dollar General where he has worked with people who,
because they have kids, like they make,
the same salary, but maybe they don't have, you know, Dre works.
So maybe they don't have a partner like he's has and or they got kids.
And he's like, there's levels to it.
And I don't want to speak for him.
And I don't want to speak for poor people.
But it's wild when you start to really get into the like the pressure of poverty.
Oh.
It's impossible for people who haven't lived through it to really understand it, in my opinion.
For sure.
And it's also the distress of like, I mean, like, like, the Cori is.
I'm in the grocery store, like the, the richest I ever felt was the moment I had to, I got to
stop checking the price on grapes. Great. Great. If you, if you've never been broke food shopping,
the price of grapes is incredibly volatile. One day, it's 99 cents a pound. Yeah, well,
one day it's 99 cents a pound. The next day it's $3.99 a pound. And that's the difference
between paying a bag of grapes being $2.50 or a bag of grapes being like $14. Yeah. See, my thing,
and I've talked about this before, like, and I blame it on growing up.
poor or maybe this is the specific poor parents I have or maybe it's just a me thing.
I don't know.
But like I all and I still am.
This didn't change.
But I'm terrible with money and I always have been and I always blamed it on that.
And so like I'm saying part of the reason I stayed so poor for so long is that even when
I was fucking broke, I didn't do that shit, which was stupid.
Of course, me and Katie have, me and Katie have been together since, you know, since the poor days.
And I can even living together and stuff.
And I can remember one time, Mark, I came, I had gone to the grocery store and I came home with some squash.
And she, like, looked at the receipt and she was like, you paid $14 for that squash.
And I was like, what?
Did I?
Because I had no idea.
It didn't even enter my mind that squash could even possibly ever be expensive.
Right.
I mean, it's fucking squash, right?
But I never, I never used to check.
And I still don't check.
For the record, it was a trigger.
For the record, my wife really wishes that I would.
Like she really wishes I was it
But I'm like you
I'm just like I want that shit
And there ain't nothing you can tell me about it
So I'm fucking getting that shit
I ain't looking
Trey I bet if you had remained poor
That comes from being a child who was poor
Like I bet if you had remained poor
For the next five years
You figure it out
You right now would be able to give us a whole
fucking spreadsheet with your brain
And how it work
You would be able to tell Mark
When they go up and down
You'd be like well son
If it rains on a Tuesday
You just got to get them grapes on a wind
Day is what you know what I mean like I bet that that's what it was well I appreciate the flattery
and everything but I'm pretty money dumb I'm very money but you never had to learn like being a poor
kid you didn't have to learn about money because there weren't none there weren't no money you had food stamps
and back then you could only get certain motherfucking things on food stamps and you probably rarely were
doing the grocery shopping right if it's going on you was doing a grocery shopping you had done made it
yeah like if it's going on credit anyways fucking live it up you know that cop thing
that was inside you, that wasn't inside me,
I never learned to be afraid of cops, ever.
And then by the time I became a public defender,
I very didn't give a fuck.
Dude, me neither.
And that's why that fucking, like,
and I know everybody around here where I'm from is the same goddamn way.
Like, everybody here wants to talk about, like,
we grew up, we were supposed to respect law and order.
Like, you don't, you know, fucking,
just because you're black,
don't mean nothing, yada, yada.
Dude, let me tell you something.
When I was in high school,
this cop used to try to pull me over all the time.
and I was always fucked up on pills.
He'd turn his lights on.
Like, I could be like three or four miles down the road.
He'd turn his lights on.
I'd just drive to my house, get out to car,
flip him off, and walk the fuck in.
And then he wouldn't do shit.
This same motherfucker, by the way,
this same motherfucker.
Now, he was off duty, but fucking still.
Tell me if this would have gone a different way
if I'd have been a minority or something like that.
This motherfucker, we're having a pool party or something.
We was only like 19 or something years old.
So granted, he ought not been showing up anyways with Crown Royal.
So, like, maybe it was a whole like, well, if I get on to him, then they're going to find out I was over here drunk.
So he just kind of let that shit go.
We were there hanging out.
Fucking cop, same guy who, like, he was one of them dudes that was always just like, put me in a hold.
I guarantee you I can get out of it.
You know what I mean?
Like, that fucking guy.
So we get in the goddamn pool and he fucking like, he too's like, put me in a hold.
See if I can get out.
And I got it.
You know, I got him in one.
And he kind of got out of wherever.
I was like, okay, Tony, whatever.
And anyways, he starts getting, he starts getting rough, and then I put him in a hold,
and I, like, kind of, I had him for a minute, and I started laughing at him.
This motherfucker comes up from the water, karate chop me in the throat, okay?
Like that.
Karate, like, directly in the fucking throat.
Once I caught my fucking breath, I jumped off the goddamn side of the pool, landed on his
fucking head, got him in a headlock.
I was going to drown him.
Like, I was going to fucking drown him.
My buddies had to come get me.
I'd had this motherfucker under the water for like 45 goddamn seconds.
I'm just like, good.
I hope I can see the bubbles, you piece of shit.
My buddies had to like get me off from like trying to drown a cop.
And then that was it.
That's the end of it.
Like he ended up like leaving within a year, like leaving the fucking sheriff's office.
So like I'm just saying, no, we wasn't scared of cops.
I openly beat up cops at fucking pool parties.
I know every word you just said is true.
But this is another one of those examples where like that is.
that man. That's so wild
to me. But I mean, Drew is
saying he never grew up with him. But like, it wasn't
just me. I didn't meet nobody's ass, son.
God damn. It wasn't just me and having
a pill-billy felonious mother.
No. That played a big part.
And also you got Salina
a whole lot of pill-billy. So maybe that's related to what I'm
about to say. But it wasn't just me.
It was very much like culturally growing up
like everything you just said,
that shit was not true for Salina.
In Salina, cops were reviled.
Oh, they didn't hit for us.
Not trusted, I know, but also like, and kind of, not feared, like, feared for your life, feared, but feared like they live to fuck with you.
Yeah, if a cop showed up, this ain't going to be a good day.
They lived to fuck with you.
That's all they want to do.
Did I know him?
Outside of, this is what I'm asking.
I didn't know him aside from him being a cop.
Okay.
The reason I asked is, I just remembered a story, nobody beat anybody up, a guy we grew up with, we played football with, came to a party because we was like,
being loud and a buddy of my, Brian told him, you know, get the fuck off my land before I beat
your ass, Chris.
You know what I mean?
We've got, we've got that dude too.
And let me tell you what that motherfucker did to me, which you tell me, like, I told him,
I looked at him, I said, dude, that's illegal.
And I don't know if it is or not, but you tell me, it has to be.
I mean, this has to be profiling.
One time, uh, I was fucking leaving, uh, the gas station.
I was going to my buddy Brad's house.
And like, I barely pull out the gas station.
And then the next thing I know, I'm,
getting pulled over and it's this fucking cop we went to high school with.
And I was like, hey, you know, I ain't going to say his name.
And he's like, you know, license registration.
I was like, God damn, okay, I guess.
Well, I'm going to need you to take a breathalyzer.
And I was like, I wasn't swerving like I just came out of the gas station.
And he said, no, but it's Friday night.
And I know on Friday nights you go to the comedy catch because he'd been there
before.
And I know when you're at the comedy catch, you've been drinking.
I mean, he was detecting.
I know.
Now, granted, this, I just happened.
Completely illegal.
right i just happened luckily for me i just happened to not have been driving drunk that night and i
you know blew it and got away with it but like right but we we have that guy but like no this
dude that i'm talking about he actually just moved into our town to be a cop and he was one of them
like super cops and the reason that he ended up leaving is because like y'all seen i know tray you've
seen hot fuzz right i fucking love that movie well we live in the town of it's all for the greater good
and he came in trying to be like Daniel, you know what I'm saying?
Except for he was a dickhead and he finally got run off because he like thought he was SWAT.
And it's like, yeah, don't get me wrong.
Some stuff happens around here, but it's mostly like, like, we, you know,
we ain't got like a bunch of robberies in town and shit like that.
He was just always trying to start shit.
But I say that.
But like, maybe he was scared of my mom or something.
But literally, dude, he would try to pull me over every fucking day almost.
And I'd just drive to my house and go, you know, and just walk in.
So, Trey, we're making us about like whiteness and white privilege or whatever, but like me and you, Trey, our personality is a more consequence versus.
I think Corey and Drew just might have maniac personalities.
This might be separate from.
I don't know.
I have learning so much about Chickamauga over the years of knowing Corey, I'm inclined to think, like, anytime Corey tells me something that in my head, I'm like, man, that's just, I can't imagine that in Salina.
At this point, I'm very much like, which checks out because that's how Chickamauga is.
or whatever, you know, so I mean, I buy it.
But, I mean, are you saying that it was more like the way I described it
where you grew up with cops and people's attitude toward cops?
Mark?
I'm saying that like, you're, you know, we've talked about before how like you were dating
a woman who's a little crazy, a little bit of hot head, like,
they lean over and honk the horn where it's you has to take the ass beating, right?
Yeah.
You know, you know that phenomenon I'm talking about?
Like, it's like, like, if I don't want to fight this guy, why are you honking the horn?
Like, you're, you're writing the check to my ass.
Yes, God.
It's because they're not afraid.
I think Corey and Drew are just not afraid of the ass beating of the you and I live in fear of.
I don't know.
I think it's just,
I think it's more in terms of like like, like,
Corey is just all about hitting and Drew is all about winning an argument.
Well, for the record,
I would have never done that to the Brownie County,
which is the county cops.
Like,
I'd have never done that.
But like these call like the local cops, dude.
Like it was like we would have,
we were like, you know, 17, 18, 19,
having farm parties
and they would just pull up
and like give us all breathizers
to see which one of us
was the drunkest and laugh about
hell I banged one of them sister
yeah no dude again
in his uniform
no she was a Marine
we had a
yeah that's why she's still alive
no she ain't
fell off a cliff
oh that's the one that fell off a kit
It's all the clip on bills.
Okay, it's the same girl.
Dude, our cops, again, totally different.
They lived to, there were a lot of genuine fucking problems in Salina.
And all, it seemed to us, at least, all they ever fucking did was harassed teenagers and
high schoolers and shit, kids out riding around or whatnot.
And like, and I'm saying, far from pulling up, giving you a breath, Elizers, who can win,
the drunkest competition and laughing about it and leave, they were the exact opposite,
dude.
They would bust up any attempt to have any kind of fun.
Right.
They took me to jail one night, and I hadn't been drinking.
because they just said that I had.
Now, of course, they got down there and they were like, oh, shit, he really hasn't.
Okay.
And then they like, let me go.
But they were like, bullshit, getting the car.
Right.
Put the back to me.
And the whole time I'm back there, like, I haven't drank anything.
What are you doing?
You know, and they just did it.
I think what Mark is, you're saying about me being a psychopath is undeniable.
It's true.
Yeah.
But to contextualize that mania, and I think this is true,
Corey, too, Tray, yeah, they did that to some people in my town.
It wasn't Doug and Nancy's boy.
Like, I still think that who your parents weren't, probably had something to do with it.
Because, dude, they just, the FBI just got Jerry Wright.
Jerry Wright was up on the hill with guns.
Fucking, the Mexican cartel was bringing in literal fucking truckloads of meth and pills.
Everybody knew it.
My brother was up there running it for him.
They were cooking meth out of my brother's truck.
him and fucking Rusty Simpson had a whole
a meth lab in the back of an open pickup truck
just riding around like it
and the cops weren't doing shit about it
until they had to and the FBI made them or whatever
my point with all that is like
they was also picking on the poorest kids
or whatever in my town
it just wasn't me Brian and Austin
and I think
the reason I brought that up too to contextualize it
some part of me recognized that
it's like motherfucker like
yeah fuck y'all
y'all ain't shit you ain't ever gonna be shit and you ain't never been shit i think i agree with you like
it never crossed my mind like uh why it was that they didn't fuck with me but it all it became clear
to me that they weren't gonna so then i just kept doing that you know what i'm saying uh one thing
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Before we move on to a new topic, let me just say something real quick.
I need to get off my chest.
If you're watching on YouTube, you see I put up a virtual background.
In the beginning, I did not have one up.
I forgot to put it up immediately.
I had wrecked my living room on purpose because of a sketch that you should watch right now.
It'll be out by the time this comes out, right, Trey?
Yeah, unless I will now.
Unless I have fucked everything.
No, I mean, it'll have to be because I imagine the next topic we're going to get to at some point, probably the inauguration.
but just so y'all know, we recorded this on Monday.
We have no fucking clue what has happened.
But we did a sketch, a Zoom sketch to four of us, on that subject.
So obviously, I mean, I don't think I'll have it done in time to put it out today,
today being Monday, but I definitely intend to put it out tomorrow.
So it'll wrap my Wednesday.
So my only point is I wrecked my living room, or allowed my living room to be wrecked
because of that sketch.
Stop commenting on my goddamn background.
My wife can see that shit, and y'all are fucking psychopaths.
You're a horrible person.
He's mad at the future.
No, I'm mad.
No, it's happened like 10 times.
If you get on the internet and you see someone's house and then you like just make
comments, you're shitty.
Go fuck yourself.
That's it.
Yeah.
Let's say how well that works.
Your house rules too, by the way.
You got a sweet backyard to get drunk in.
I enjoy it.
It's also always neat except for this one time.
But every other time they've commented on it, I've been like, that's a bookshelf.
It has books on it.
I'm sorry I don't put eat prey love.
my fucking bookshelf.
Dude, it's so funny you say that because, like, obviously when you post something
political, you're going to have people that disagree with you, yell at you or whatever.
But I found honestly, like, the most heat you can get online is like, if you post, like,
some food, there's going to be a million people like, you didn't do that right.
You fucking suck.
But also, like, same shit with your room.
Like, I posted a picture of, like, I was holding my dog.
and behind me was like my book
case that has the TV shit on it.
Like, dude, like a million
fucking comments.
Like, dude, this motherfucker sold a book
and he still got Pier 1 decorations.
What a piece of shit.
Like, dude, just fucking.
And by the way, they nailed it.
That's exactly where Amber got it.
But like, it's fucking insane.
Like, people will not just let you have a goddamn thing.
No, what I'm realizing here is
if they were shitting on me or you,
I don't think we'd feel this way.
You're shitting on our wives.
Stop fucking doing that.
Right, that's it.
Yeah.
You can't please them.
It don't matter what you do.
Because remember during our last Zoom show, the actual show that we did?
Remember how many comments we were getting about, what's Trey hiding behind that curtain?
Like, why does Trey Friand who needs a, what's he hiding back there?
Right.
Where I finally ripped it away.
And I was like, it's fucking, it's nothing.
There's nothing back there.
I just wanted a goddamn curtain.
It's a curtain for a show, you fucking idiot.
So I'm saying it doesn't matter.
No, it doesn't.
There is no policing you.
No.
All my thing is.
Don't go after my life.
She's a fucking wonderful housekeeper, and y'all don't help.
Speaking of that, I want to, this is kind of in the same vein.
I just want to read it on the podcast.
I fucking, I was talking to you guys earlier.
Somebody commented on one of my, I put up a stand-up clip earlier.
And this thing happened that's the craziest shit where it's like, it doesn't happen much,
but somebody was like really furious at this stand-up clip that I put up.
But it wasn't because it was like insensitive and it wasn't that it was like,
political. I put up a bit earlier that the whole joke is basically like one of the reasons I
really, really love being married is because I hated dating. Like that's it. That's the whole thing.
I don't like going out yada, yada, yada. And this fucking dude commented all caps, by the way,
fat animal products comedy. Just get on stage and say a whole bunch of F word bleeped out
that it's the slur. socially awkward things that only fat losers are awkward about.
about crying emoji, crying emoji.
So people just be wilding on the motherfucking internet,
regardless of if you like Trump or if you're a Biden person.
Sorry, dude.
Sometimes I get carried away on my burner account.
On your burner.
I was about to say it.
Definitely.
It was really like well written as a, like a character of an insane person.
So it wouldn't surprise me if it was one of y'all.
I'm trying to find it right now.
So I can retweet it and give this person some shine.
It's on Instagram.
So you'll have to like, you know, screenshot it and then post it.
Much work for a bit.
Yeah.
It's funny because the supposed reason that we asked Mark to join us this week in particular
Oh, yeah.
It was to talk about the events of today.
The events of today, as you're listening to this, the inauguration is today.
Again, we don't know what fuck is happening.
What's going down?
You're listening to Biden's already been assassinated by the National Guard.
That's funny you say that because we recorded through the screen door this morning
and we recorded a couple.
We had to record ahead.
and we recorded just like a couple different reactions just in case.
Mark, what's your, you know, prediction or whatever?
What's people be on the lookout for?
I mean, it's the most boring thing,
but you'll never go broke predicting everything.
It doesn't happen normally as it usually does.
It's like, like, we could be hyperbolic here.
It could be like, there's going to be blood in the streets,
but it's probably just going to be in inauguration and then they're going to be the little parties.
You said that last time and you were right.
I mean, like generally what happens,
Earth in modern America's
things get gradually slightly worse
day by day but nothing big
happens you know. Yeah, but I'm saying
last time we had you on you predicted nothing
big would happen with the vote
and then something major happened with the vote.
What major happened?
Well, they stormed the Capitol and
delayed it by eight hours and we may have
to arrest U.S. senators
for giving
the people who did it a tour.
Yeah, but
we were on before the election.
right and we were talking about what would happen in the election
I was like I think Biden wins and it's fairly normal
and he was declared the winner but it was obviously
going to win Tuesday night and he was declared the victor Saturday
and that's what is what it
you know I mean
like they people are going to throw fits
like are there you'd be walking around
the various state capitals with guns sure
yeah more than one like I'm sorry the fact that
these people keep failing doesn't make this
normal this is not
normal eventually that would be good at it
business as usual I don't think
I'm not saying it's good or normal.
I'm saying what's going to happen Wednesday is.
Biden's going to be sworn in and what's going to happen.
I don't think anything major is going to go down to the inauguration itself either because of like,
dude,
just the level of scrutiny after what happened on the 6th.
First of all,
it's a presidential inauguration.
It's always off the charts,
the level of scrutiny.
But it's even higher than that now because of what happened then.
And I just don't.
I agree with that.
I think the FBI will stop whatever it is.
Yeah.
I think they fucked up.
They fucked up and they got like, like,
the FBI and the,
national security state
typically doesn't pay attention
to what white people are doing
other than like
put some undercovers
and a few militias.
But like they're on the radar.
Now they're being treated
like Muslims now
so they're in fucking trouble.
Yeah.
Don't have to be like a Muslim
and that's going to be a narco
in every fucking militia.
Yeah.
Isn't there a video or a meme
of one of them saying that?
Like, you know,
like one of them who's being pursued
and arrested is like they're treating me
like a black guy and it's like,
yeah.
I've seen it was a woman out loud.
Yeah, it was a woman being
She was she got pulled over by the cop
No, I'm talking about a different
I'm sure there's a lot of I'm sure there was a whole sub-genre of video
Yeah
But the one I saw was a guy on the ground who said the same
Oh no, that's funny
But the airport yeah
Yeah, the airport guy
Because it's like, okay, so you do know why
The people who are against Trump
Are against Trump
You just said it's them acknowledging that it happens
But it's also them being like
Black people deserve it
I'm not black, I don't deserve it.
Like, it's them acknowledging that it happens,
but it's them, then further being like,
it should happen.
Black people are treated very, are fucked with by the cops,
but that's because they should be.
They're black.
That's like basically what they're saying.
Yeah, those are the people that like,
like they follow statistics to a letter,
no matter the nuance.
Like they just, they look at,
there's more black people percentage-wise
incarcerated than there are white people
and then just go,
they must have did something.
There must be a reason for that.
Instead of the very obvious,
oh, no, you know.
Yeah.
Well, my response to that is always,
show me the year in American history
or the month or the day
or however you can narrow it down,
where, because we've always had more black people incarcerated,
we started with all of them as slaves,
and it's been more than, you know,
percentage-wise than any other group.
Show me the year it stopped being about race
and started being about whatever fucking theory you have.
Point to that ear and show me why, and I'll shut the fuck up.
You know, you just go, look, Drew, in 1980, it stopped being about racism
and started being about whatever your theory is.
They commit more crimes because of their culture, which, by the way, like, how that's...
I'm not racist.
I just think their culture's criminal.
Right.
Jesus.
Yeah.
I'm not racist.
I just think they act differently based on their genetic makeup of it.
It's negative.
there's like
all through the 2000s
like a bunch of FBI agents made their career
off doing a particular type of
entrapment sort of like undercover op
where like what you do is you find a Muslim
who isn't that bright
and then you suggest to him he blow up a bridge
and then you supply him with fake explosives
and then you arrest him for plotting to blow up that bridge
right and you're going to see
that happen with Q people now
it's going to be so fucking funny
I was actually going to say, look, the racial profiling part of that aside, obviously that's fucked up in the entrapment and all that.
But that's like the fun, that's like the funniest version of entrapment I've heard, I think.
Right.
Like, yeah, it's all like that movie, Four Lions.
If you guys ever saw that, it's like a comedy.
Haley Joe Osmond.
No, no.
It's a British comedy about a terror sale, a Muslim terror sale in London.
It's fucking, I highly recommend.
Oh, wait a minute.
I have seen that shit.
I think that's called Three Lions, Corey does.
the Gellee Joe.
Okay.
The Michigan plot where they're going to kidnap the governor,
there was like two undercoverers and an informant there out of the nine guys.
And you're like, was this plot the FBI's idea?
Do we have any proof?
Yeah.
And on that note, I don't want to defend any of these people because they seem unhinged.
But on that note, please, please good, harder liberal people,
please stop clamoring for fucking liberal-minded fascism.
Stop tagging fucking strangers.
posts and being like, FBI, we got the guy.
The FBI has a job. It's an important job. We can all acknowledge that.
But they don't need help. Our country and our society doesn't need all of us,
so-called progressives, clamoring for more better cops.
Sure. I think that someone just, I mean, tagging the whole FBI.
They do that all the time. Yes, FBI. This comment right here,
that's just like an internet joke.
Oh, I don't know, buddy.
No, there's some people that are joking.
I'm certain of it, but I'm with Drew because I've definitely seen people because when I see that,
when I see something like that, I've gotten to where now this is my growth as a person,
I will like click on their profile to see if like they're a parody account or something like that.
And then I will scroll through like a couple pages of tweets just to see what they normally be tweeting.
Bro, some of these people literally think like, I'm going to tag the FBI and I'll be the one that helps take them down.
And to be clear, I think tagging the FBI mostly don't matter.
What I'm trying to get out, Tray.
You don't matter even a little bit.
Well, but I have to stop assuming people understand the context of what I'm trying to point out here.
When you have Deborah Messing out here tagging people and getting a million shares,
the zeitgeist of America right now is very much like,
we've got to help the cops.
We've got to give the cops more power.
The cops got to stop this.
They're not your goddamn friend.
They had all they needed to stop this.
They were just saying it on parlor and Facebook.
They were just like, we're going to do this, and they just weren't paying attention, like Mark said, because they were white.
We don't need to give them more power.
Just, that's all I'm saying.
Just we just don't need, cops don't need like more power right now.
How do you feel about that?
Go ahead, Mark.
Oh, I was going to say, like, there's like this deep thing in America, and I'm not sure what it is, but everyone's waiting for a higher authority to solve all the problems.
It's like, like, what one, the FBI to arrest people is, like, part of it.
But it's also like, like, Democrats and Congress.
course will always, they always appeal to a referee being like, but they're breaking the rules.
It's like there's nobody, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no police officer or
manager for you to report Ted Cruz. Right. And you got to, if you want to stop him, you got to do it.
Yeah, Mitch McConnell needs to, uh, acknowledge our history and no, he won't. Right.
That's why I don't think Trump's going to fucking jail.
Uh, hell, hell no. Of course not. I mean, I know y'all know that because you're smart,
but everybody keeps saying it. They're like, you know, Trump's going to look really good in an
orange jumpsuit. I'm like, are you a fucking moron?
Like maybe...
Perp walked out of the White House and stuff and
cuts and shit like that. It's like, dude,
dad is never happy.
No, now...
Now that he's been impeached twice
and he's like going to not be the president
anymore, like it's possible he could
do some shit. But like, for the shit
he's done in the White House,
no. Like, it ain't happening.
Like, he didn't even come close with George Bush
and that motherfucker was a war criminal. It ain't
happening. I agree. Yeah.
Presidents get to do war crimes.
there's some crimes they don't get to do.
Right.
Cho said at the end, he said, now that he's not president, it might be different.
There might be an arrest in a year, you know, for some trade he made or whatever.
I think before that ever even happens, he'll fuck off to somewhere else or whatever.
For sure.
Just people like that, people, and there's never even been a person like that, much it pains me to say it.
But I just mean, like, really wealthy and powerful people, but especially an ex-president, like, dude, they don't, he ain't going.
They don't go to jail.
No.
They don't go to jail ever.
That's just not how the world ever works.
He ain't going to fucking jail.
I will say, well, two things that's like regard.
Like, I don't think he's ever going to go to jail.
But also, I'll leave one giant carve out here that we don't know half the shit he did.
I hope his sons go to jail.
Yeah, that one is.
We don't, like, the depths of his corruption or not.
He's still in office, so it hasn't been uncovered yet.
So there might be stuff we don't know about that could get him in more trouble.
Well, there's a couple of things, rich, white dudes who are,
president can't fuck with. And you're right. There's a few, there's a few institutions, you know,
businesses and stuff like that, industries, really, that you just, you can't cross. Yeah.
I mean, if we find out he was like, uh, insider trading off intelligence in a way that ripped off
other rich people, he'll be fucked. Yeah. That's what that's like Martin Screlli, uh, fucked over
kids with cancer. No one cared when he misappropriated funds that he was investing. Exactly.
Other rich people ended up in prison. Yeah. That's the thing. That's the thing. Like the rich white,
people have to want you to go to jail before you ever go to jail and they don't give a fuck if he
even fuck just going to jail just the other republicans in congress like finally sort of turning on him or
whatever that only has happened because of rich people and money interest and the puppet masters
and stuff coming out publicly and saying okay you know what y'all need to do something about this
motherfucker right only because they're worried they're going to it's like he's bad for business now
As soon as that happens, then they'll step in.
And as soon as they step in, now of a sudden people are like,
okay, well, I guess we better do something after four years of this bullshit.
And all I'm asking, both with the FBI and this hypothetical situation of him getting arrested,
is that people contextualize it.
Don't call them heroes.
Don't give them all this power.
You know, we can be relieved.
I want him to go to jail.
I hope they arrest him because he ripped up rich people.
But I'm not going to start calling those rich people and their little institutions fucking
There are saviors. Hell no. Exactly.
It's both like, I'm glad that, you know, finally the tides have turned a little bit and it's because of that and I acknowledge it.
But it's also like really fucked up and sad what it just says about our country in general that it's like, oh, now it will matter.
Only because it matters to them. Like, it never mattered before when anyone else gave a fuck.
But now that our, you know, plutocratic saviors are upset about it.
Now it will actually mean something.
That really don't hit.
No, that really don't hit.
It's dark, man.
There's a, that, that American desire to appeal to a higher authority to solve your
problems, you don't have to do it.
It's like, like, is it basically that too because it's like, you're just like,
you're just like, oh, I'm watching this in full about how to do anything.
There's a secret plan that the people in charge are going to do to arrest all the pedophiles
and everything, that'll make everything better.
But there's actually read an article about where people were worried about Q related, like,
extremism and violence, but like conspiracy theories like this provide an outlet for it.
These people don't have to leave their houses. Like other people are solving this problem.
It's like it's like a way of magical thinking that might be diffusing a lot of violence.
That's for most of them, I think. I think there's a small percentage you're willing to do it.
But if I'm honest, isn't that how a lot of terrorism, terrorism works across the world, Mark?
Like there are a lot of people who agree with bin Laden.
He only needed, you know, a certain number of people willing to fly the goddamn plane and a
certain number of people willing to give him money to pay for his stuff.
But there were plenty of people who agreed with him.
Yeah, but he was actually recruiting people to come actually fight,
like to pick up guns and stuff.
Yeah, I realize it's not a direct analogy.
What I'm getting at is it is correct to say Q allows people to feel like
they're doing something from the comfort of their own home,
which in a lot of ways makes less violence.
But aren't most violent groups,
don't they have some portion of their following like that?
sure i'm saying like the language of qa they clearly call themselves digital soldiers and the emphasis
on digital meaning like the idea is you don't actually go do anything like they're encouraging
people to not go do anything we found out anonymous was q yeah it's it's so funny too because
those are the those are the fucking people who are constantly like calling liberals keyboard warriors
and shit and like it's just such such the most of that on the other side there's so many things
that i've noticed you know hypocrisy-wise
from them because like these are these have always been like the small government don't tell me what to do but like man all this Donald Trump shit has like shown me how much some of some people like actually want to be ruled you know what I mean like there's a lot of like studies and things that indicate that like people whether they even recognize it or not consciously most of them don't desire that I mean like Mark's talking about the appeal to a higher authority but like people do want to be ruled they want to be like not not let
by the way. That's not what I mean.
ruled. Right. Yeah.
And conservatives, studies of Barrett-Bore
out the conservatives are
a little more prone to it because
fear is their dominant like operating
system. Right. Right. But what I'm
preaching this episode, Liberals,
is don't fall into that. Don't want to
get rid of Donald Trump so bad that you're ready to
just fucking allow Patriot Act 2 to happen.
Right.
Bad sequel. I know exactly
what you're saying and I agree with you. I hope that doesn't
happen too. But how much of it
just like, you know, expecting the FBI to, you know, do their fucking job versus, like, idolizing them.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, these guys, all these people storm the capital and stuff, like, the FBI should be rounding them up.
And they are, which hits for me.
But so, like, how much of it is that versus like, yay, here comes the FBI to save us like they do because that's what they do.
And we love them, you know.
If I saw more, why the fuck didn't the FBI stop this when goddamn DJ Lewis from his trailer,
has been telling me for two months it was going to goddamn happen.
If I saw more takes like that, I think I would be more with you, Trey.
But most of the takes I'm seeing, and obviously not from everybody, guys, I'm generalizing,
but I'm just worried about this growing, oh, my God, look at the FBI, get these guys.
You know, these are, you know, well, clamoring, a clamoring for ruling.
Dude, that started, I don't know about started out, but like Mueller.
Like, Mueller became, you know, he was like,
He'll do it.
I always had a problem with that too.
It's like, this is like an ultra cop.
He ain't going to save us.
Like that's not the whole time I was saying like,
we're just going to have to,
all we can do is vote.
I know that's three years from now.
I know that don't hit for y'all.
But this dude ain't going to say shit, right?
And it started with that, I think,
of this like, please somebody coming to help us.
Yeah, I had a bit back then about how at that time,
it seemed to me that liberals on my timeline were putting
all their faith in, a cop, a porn star, and a fake TV lawyer.
Dude.
And it's like, I know that the Trump magazine are insane, but we look so dumb and without any
actual backbone right now.
We're trusting a porn star, a cop, and a crazy TV personality lawyer.
And the porn star, honestly, was the most honest one.
Yeah, for sure.
And I agree with you.
Like, it's just so, like, when,
the fucking, I'm probably going to get some heat for this, but when the MAGA people are wrong
and being dumb, it's pretty hilarious. But like, when liberals are wrong and dumb, it is
pathetic. Like, it is fucking pathetic to see. Yeah, liberals are better at comedy on purpose,
but the right wing is killing us on comedy. Yes. Yes. Like, I have no, like, look,
I don't give, I don't, I don't have to, this doesn't have to just be my opinion. Like,
scoreboard. Just look at it.
throughout Hollywood.
I think liberals end up being better writers because, in my opinion, a great deal of writing
and art requires empathy, which we just have more of, period.
And narcissism.
And not sure.
But when it comes to being funny, not on purpose, phew.
Yeah.
No, we do not.
Every time I must profess, by the best.
That Qaeda on shaman guy is unironically the best character.
of the last eight years other than Trump who died.
Absolutely.
I guarantee you we couldn't even go through all the unintentionally hilarious things
that came out of that protest.
A man tased himself into balls until he died.
Until he died.
Until he died.
A lady got trampled by a crowd while wrapped in a don't tread on me flag.
Unbelievable.
The woman who got shot had just retweeted a tweet saying,
the punishment for treason will be death by firing squad.
I mean like, dude, the list just go.
on and on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got arrested yesterday.
He tried to say he wasn't
the capital protest,
but the problem was he had traveled out of state
with his ankle bracelet on
because he was on proof of it.
Right.
Right.
And I want to say another thing,
I've gotten this,
we've gotten,
well,
I've gotten some,
like,
pushback of,
like, laughing at,
you know, dead people.
Fuck you,
y'all.
That's so funny.
That's so goddamn funny.
That one tweet,
I don't remember which,
one of y'all shared it.
I don't know if there's a comedian
or what,
but that tweet that just said,
you're laughing right now, really?
A man tased himself in the balls until death and you're laughing.
That's fucking hilarious because how in God's name are you not supposed to laugh at that?
For fuck's sake.
I mean, if he was an angelic, you know, like a pillar of the community who worked with charities
and all that type of shit and that happened, you still at the future, you'd be like,
listen, we just can't talk about it.
Like, we just can't talk about what happened to Danny, okay, because we cannot deny
how funny it was so sad because he was such a good dude.
So everybody just agreed to not talk about how he died.
Because if you bring it up, people are going to laugh.
That would happen if he was a hero.
But I was in the dude he is.
I've laughed.
I've laughed at how people I loved died.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, you have to.
You can't, yeah, like it's objectively funny.
The love of Corey's life got hound pills and fell off a clip.
Yes.
And she had one leg.
It's percules.
I had a bit that I tried to do and it did not work.
It was about you can't make rape jokes and it was about, you know, the dolphins,
you know how dolphins have raped people?
Yeah.
All the time.
They stay raping.
Part of the bit was like.
That was a great genes.
That's got to be the worst thing that could happen to you because your friends couldn't not laugh.
Right.
If you were like, if you come back from vacation, it's the worst vacation you've ever had because you got raped by an animal.
But then you can try to tell people.
Right.
And like, your sweetest friend would be like, what?
Right.
Some things are just funny.
I know.
And it sucks because, like, if I just flipped through the channel and somebody was on CNN
and they were just like, I was raped by a dolphin.
And that's horrible.
Like, that's absolutely horrible.
Arguably, maybe not worse than getting, anyway.
It's horrible.
If they said horse, I don't think I would laugh because, like, that's.
Because you know about that video that man getting fucked with that child one.
If you had never seen that, it's.
Because I had never seen it until I heard that phrase, and I went and watched it immediately.
Do you all remember one of the sketches we like soft pitch to Comedy Central?
It wasn't on their list of like, okay, let's move forward with these.
But we had a sketch I did.
We sent them about us at a funeral for a friend of ours who had died.
And he had like, he had like called an alligator a queer and then jumped in the river after him or something.
And then the alligator ate him or something like that.
And the whole point of the sketch was us trying to get through the funeral without
talking about and laughing at the way that our buddy had died because it's just funny.
Do I remember my personal John 316? Yeah. I remember.
But yeah, sometimes it's just funny, man. Trying to act like stuff it's funny, ain't funny.
Don't hit. Don't do that. No, I don't hit. I've never understood that don't laugh at dead people think.
Because like if I had a choice, whether you laugh at me my whole life or after I'm dead, I will choose after I'm dead every time.
Yeah, yeah. Don't speak ill.
the dead. Well, why? Now we know way more
shit about him. Yeah.
Also, it's weirdly
condescending. It's like,
no, no, no, we should all be embarrassed. He died.
No, we shouldn't. The way he died was
embarrassing, because he tased himself in the balls,
but everybody dies.
I'm not a little bit embarrassed by that,
you know?
Right. Personally,
I'm not embarrassed by that. And hell,
I get second-hand embarrassment. The only embarrassing part was right up
into the death. And that was
he tased his balls, guys.
I know,
dude, I know it's like, well, y'all
are in the family so you can't possibly know.
I'm telling you right fucking now
if my
cousin, who I love,
tased himself in the balls until he
was dead, you would never hear
me say, hey, that's
my kin, y'all quit making jokes.
I'd be sad, but like, dude, that's a gift
from God to all of us that this man
died this way. That's so fucking funny.
He tased himself in the balls
until he was dead.
Tell me one word in that sentence
that isn't the funniest shit
you've ever heard.
It just keeps getting better.
Every single word is funnier than the last.
If it ends with him not dying,
it wouldn't be that funny.
And what he was trying to get a picture?
What picture was he trying to get?
I think it was a painting of like John C. Cahoon or some shit.
What a fucking idiot.
God damn.
He didn't even know what Calhoun did or who is.
You're right.
All men must die.
Not all men get tased in the balls.
Exactly.
And people bring up the widow and the kid.
and I get that.
But like, my thing is,
if my dad takes himself in the balls.
I wouldn't get on Twitter for a little while, you know?
Me too.
Right, right.
If you need, if this is bothering you,
you clearly need some more time to grieve.
Like, don't.
Well, actually, I don't, Mark, if you,
if this ain't kosher to talk about,
just tell me, we'll move on.
But Anthony Jettelnick's show,
he got in some shit back when the show was going on
because he did a little bit
that was making fun of a guy, I think, in Australia,
who had been eaten by a shark.
New Zealand, who had been eaten by a shark.
And the family, you know, came forward.
And, that's our, that was our dad, you know, whatever.
And to me, that was like, you know, what about you?
Context makes a huge fucking difference.
It's like I was saying earlier.
The fact, what this guy was doing and the way he just generally lived his life,
for that, for him to then go out that way,
I'm not going to feel bad about that at all.
No.
He was being a terrorist while he was doing it.
He was being a terrorist.
Fuck it.
Don't feel bad for terrorists.
Versus,
and I'm not saying Jesselnik should have actually caught any real heat for that.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying,
I think, you know,
when it's a guy who's just like,
this is just a dude who surfed.
Right.
While surfing, he got eaten by a shark, you know,
like, then I understand the sympathy of like,
oh, you're right, this is a real human being that this happened to.
I'm well aware that the,
the baltazer's a real human being and I just don't.
Yeah, but he was a terrorist.
If that dude's like brother-in-law was like a fan of ours,
because that guy was from Louisville,
he's bound to have one liberal in his family, you know.
If that dude's brother-in-law hit me up and was like,
hey, man, will you take down that joke?
You know, his sister's a fan of yours too and she might see it.
I would take it down.
Didn't that happen?
No.
I told that lady that.
A fan of ours did reach out and say, I know that family.
But I was like, all right, but they don't follow me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's fine.
Like if this, I said to her, if this bothers you, you know, personally, if it's not just
you're saying you're worried about them, I'll take it down.
But if you're just worried about this hypothetical person, that's different.
But all I'm saying with that is whether I would take it down or not, I would still find
it hilarious.
Absolutely.
Like not talking about something being funny, ain't the same thing as whether or not it is
funny. Like people say stop laughing at the guy. Fuck that.
Dude, our jokes had no,
did not cause anything. The man killed himself.
If you're mad at anybody for him being dead,
it's him and the taser manufacturer. For the record, by the way,
that lady was very sweet to me the whole time. We had a great
conversation and I just want that to be clear. I would love.
I get why
you would not want, why you wouldn't want to be reminded of
so your love one passing, but like, you shouldn't be, I remember doing stand-up one time,
and I had a punchline that had the word miscarriage in it.
Someone came up to me after the show.
It's like, we just had a miscarriage and we were trying to take our minds off at tonight.
I felt a little bad, but also like, you just came out to a comedy show on the off-chance.
No one would mention children or miscarriages or like, it's like, how is that my,
I'm supposed to like, not joke about anything that could have ever happened to anyone because of the 350 people in the crowd.
I think something might be on the list.
Well, it's interesting you say that because I sincerely tried to write a joke about dolphin rape.
So I spent a lot of time thinking about this idea that you shouldn't write rape jokes.
And my conclusion to that was, fuck, man, the thing about that is if you have a show with 200 people in it and half of them are women, there's a fuck ton of people who have been.
Like, that is the fact that makes me go, that's why I can't joke about it.
There's seven people here who had it fucking happened.
Probably not by a dolphin.
Maybe one or two may have been raped by statistically,
especially if you're in Florida, maybe three or four.
That was the bit.
I was like, part of the bit was like,
if you've been raped by a dolphin,
just raise your hand or just like leave, right?
Like, I'll stop.
I won't do it.
If there's somebody here.
That'd be such a funny way to open the joke without having talked to anything.
Before I go on with this next joke,
if anybody in here has been raped by a dolphin,
please feel free to leave.
Okay.
The problem was I couldn't figure out a way to craft it where I don't have to go.
If there's anybody here who hasn't been right, like right there, seven people's hearts drop.
Yeah, I wouldn't.
I'm not going to. No, I'm not going to.
But I'm just saying that I went through this whole process thinking about the joke and realize that's the difference in what you're talking about.
Well, that's the thing, man.
Like, hey, you can joke about whatever you want.
You just have to understand that there's going to be consequences to that joke.
And there's no way, even if you're not being.
and malicious if you say like right like honestly for instance we've done it right now like there's
people on this they're listening this podcast that every time we say that word it's like a
fucking dagger you know what i mean but but my point is tased is not the same thing in the
balls to death like that's fine well yeah it's not like one in seven people there's no
commercial with sarah mclaughlin saying and talking about did you know that secretly one
and seven people have been tased in the balls to death i'm gonna too afraid to talk about that that
should be the next thing with this sketch.
Mark, people are not going to understand why I asked that.
Were you working there at that show when all that happened?
They did Shark Party season one.
I worked on season two.
But we had escalated security for the whole season
because all of New Zealand had given us in Anthony death threats.
All of New Zealand, that rules.
It was on the front page of the newspaper every day there.
the scandal that was a two-minute musical bit
where Anthony danced with people in shark costumes.
Right, because the guy got out by a shark in New Zealand.
So what was your having worked there,
and you weren't there when it happened,
but you were there right afterward.
You're very intimately aware of it.
I mean, how do you feel about that whole scenario
looking back on it?
Like, it's somewhat related to what we're talking about now,
although Tays and the Balls infinitely better and funnier.
But the context here was apparently,
well, New Zealand's not a very populated country.
So it's extremely possible that like half the people knew Gerald or whatever his name was.
He got to eat by the shot.
Gerald.
Oh, no.
You're all right, God.
Jerry's fine.
You can't make fun of Jerry.
I know that's more.
But they're close.
It's pretty close.
Got to add a brew in there.
Yeah.
Surfing is also very, very popular.
And the sharks are in with waters are heavily shark-infested.
So being eaten by a shark is not a rare thing there.
It's a thing they all live in fear of.
I bet some of them were on Anthony's side because they were friends with the shark.
So, you know what I mean?
That's also a small community.
Well, they had been sexually assaulted by the sharks, so they had beef.
But the, so anyway, so something that we did, we worked on the show didn't understand was like how personally they took all these jokes about this guy getting eaten by a shark.
Right.
Wait, like, imagine that the, they're tased in the balls jokes would play in a country where, like, 40% of the deaths were from being tased in the balls.
So, America, America, 2075.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I know, I know, but I'm saying, but that's kind of like, that's kind of the point, right?
That's kind of the point.
You can't even joke about tasting balls no more.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'll be deep in the cold, cold grounds before I can't talk about.
I'll join Kian.
You see culture.
You can't joke.
about ball tasers no more.
But that's kind of the point though, right?
Like, as a comic, and that's what they went to on that show,
is like, you don't, admittedly, you don't automatically think about the fact that, like,
oh, this, like, really, you're disconnected from it, is what I'm trying to say.
Like, you just say, they didn't realize how personally people in New Zealand were going
to take these jokes about this guy getting eaten by shark.
But that's, like, the point of it.
You get reminded, like, oh, this is a real dude who was beloved by his real community,
who really has been eaten.
now dead or whatever and, you know, joking about anything will, you know, affect people.
But how should you feel about that, Mark?
How did they feel about it on the show?
Because like you said, that's true of everything.
You can't guarantee that someone will be personally affected by pretty much any topic you pick.
Right.
So what are you supposed to do?
Well, any, I mean, anybody that, like that dude that tays his balls, a Capitol guy,
he tays his balls while storming the Capitol being a terrorist.
Harris. Anyone who cares about that guy, I don't care about them. Like, obviously, you, that guy still has
family that didn't agree with what he did, but didn't want him to die. I'm just saying, like,
I promise you if that guy was in my family, I wouldn't care that he tases his balls and died,
probably. But we're comics. That's, that's different. I just can't imagine what that guy's like
in real life. There's no way I would have loved him. He's got to be real rough at, you know, like,
family dinner table. I mean, let's be on. I think I could have been all of our dads. I mean,
I was like,
dude,
if my dad stormed the Capitol,
I would hope he fucking died.
That way I wouldn't have to talk to him again
because that shit is embarrassing.
That's definitely true.
You wouldn't catch my dad
10 feet outside of Morgan County
unless he fucking had to
and he's going to be bitching about it the whole time.
To answer your question directly, Tray,
if I, like, go,
you know,
I hate to keep going back to dolphin rape, boys.
But like,
if I heard another comic do that joke,
I wouldn't think they were a horrible fucking person.
For me,
For me, I was like, damn, this is going to tense up a lot of people.
And that was the thing for me, unlike the miscarriage's joke where it's like, that happens to people.
But as long as it didn't happen two days ago, like your unfortunate situation, Mark, it's probably fine or whatever.
I just realized for me, I don't ever want to do a joke and not know how much of the crowd just got tense.
You know what I mean?
It's almost like a control thing.
and I just didn't want to do that to people.
But that was for me.
Like that's my, you know what I mean?
Like, if I heard a New York comedian, it would probably be in New York,
do some version of that joke, I wouldn't assume they were a shit at.
Well, dude, I mean, I have to judge things differently because, like, to me,
I can't imagine the thing that you would have to say as a comedian that would make me think
you're a piece of shit and not just telling a joke, but like, you know,
we have to just understand that we ain't regular.
our brain don't
work like that.
Yeah.
I mean,
like,
I mean,
like,
for me,
like,
I've always thought death is funny.
I mean,
that's like the funniest thing
in the world
because I used,
you like,
is there anything,
like,
you know that moment
Wally Coyty
falls up a cliff
and he turns to the camera
and shrugs.
Yeah, it's awesome.
And he keeps running a little bit.
Yeah,
that's the essence of comedy is futility,
right?
It's like,
why the fuck did I do this?
This is stupid.
The moment we all die,
we all feel that way.
It's like,
oh,
fuck,
all those days I spent
going to the gym or cleaning my apartment or folding laundry.
What the fuck was that even for?
Right.
It's just like, but like I will say the, I mean like, as far like like,
specific like I think we all went like especially in 20s when you're a sociopath.
We would try like different jokes that probably have the word, you know,
or about sexual assault or have the word raping or whatever.
But then you watch like, like Aaron and I watched a promising, you know,
a woman last night, which is a good movie.
But like once you realize it to.
women, all men are rapists.
It's really hard to look at the world any differently.
Right.
You know.
What about the Shark New Zealand thing, though?
Now that you know that, as you pointed out, so many people have known people probably there.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
Like, I'm not really capable of being offended, which is a luxury of being a straight white dude and also a person who works in comedy.
But so it's always purely like an academic exercise, try to understand why people,
are authentic.
Because like when you do stand up,
like you could say I am against AIDS and audiences will hear the keyword AIDS and
grown.
Right.
Right.
Like you see.
Well, that's the thing too.
Yeah.
Being comedians,
it's also,
because I know not everybody's like,
but some of,
there's been plenty of time.
You know how hard I have,
I probably laugh harder at jokes that I personally am connected to.
Do you know what I mean?
For sure.
About being like about fucking poor people or trailer babies or about like pills.
You know how I mean dead relatives I've got from pills?
you think I'm not going to laugh at a pills joke.
Again, I'll laugh harder, but you have to realize as a comedian that not everybody's like that.
And it's not even just, I was going to bring this up because, like, another, as comics,
if you had the realization before, it's not just things that are offensive to people.
It's just, like, for a lot of regular people, there's like, it ain't always the time to, like,
crack a joke or whatever, even if it's not offensive.
Like, I've had to come to terms of that since becoming a comic I've gotten so much worse about
anytime I'm anywhere with anybody doing anything,
I will make jokes about it or shit on it or whatever.
And that's not always the vibe for people.
Like, we were at a,
I was at this hippie party up around where I grew up called,
it's a summer solstice party and it's huge.
But all the redneck hippies in that area come there,
like hundreds of them every summer.
No, that's a different one.
There's a few of them up there.
Ain't it on his land, though?
No, this is in Macon County.
Jamming Hapie Jackson is in Overton County.
This is just called,
This is the barefoot farmer, Drew, if you've ever heard of him.
This is on his land.
He walks like a crane.
He's bald with a long wizard beard.
He's old redneck hippie named Jeff, the barefoot farmer.
Like Jafar when he was playing a dude to trick Aladdin?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I can't believe I ain't met this cartoon.
He wild.
Anyway, Summer Seltzes party on his land every summer.
I went to my buddies once, but this is like four or five years ago.
And we went to the, we went by the acoustic stage.
and they're a hippies up there jamming acoustically at like 12, at like midnight.
And it's real chill.
Everybody's real chill and they're like appreciative of like the music and this type of thing.
And at one point, this guy comes off the stage with a cello, right?
And he gets in like a middle of people and he plays this.
He just try to, please try to hear this in your head.
He plays this really, really beautiful, mournful like cello solo.
that's like really sad and slow.
And everybody's standing or circled around and watching him and stuff.
And he gets finished and everybody's just like, wow.
And I literally busted into the middle of that circle.
I said, God damn, I didn't know the king died.
And like, you know, Thompson and Charles, y'all know Charles.
They thought it was hilarious.
But dude, it did not land.
Like all these other people were just like, it just wasn't, it wasn't a right vibe.
So, I mean, do you all, like, how often y'all deal with that?
that thing. Dude, as you can imagine, just so much. I'm very fortunate that, like, I have a couple
friends that have, like, the comic brain. Like, my buddy Robbie is that way. Like, he, he thinks
more like a comedian than some actual comedians. You know what I'm saying? But, like, dude,
there's so many times we're like, I will just be, the, the bad part is like, you know,
we just all roast each other all the time. Like, we are just constantly disrespecting each other
just to get a laugh.
And like, I'll just meet people for the first time.
Like, people that come over the house.
And I'll just start fucking busting balls.
And, like, of course they're not busting balls to me back.
They're normal people.
They've just met me.
But, like, when I meet a comedian, immediately, it's like, nothing's off limits.
And, like, I'll just be doing that.
And then I'll hear, like, an hour in the party like, hey, I don't think you hit for Jeff.
And I'm like, why?
And they're like, well, you know, you told him he looked like a fucking hobbit.
I don't know, like just whatever it is.
I'm like, oh, I was just busting balls.
And then my wife will always have to tell me.
She's like, yes, honey, people don't like that.
You're not around comedians.
Well, so people that don't know.
I've done that same thing a bunch of things.
And I get that, by the way.
Forget that people don't know you or know that about you.
So they don't even realize that you're like joking.
They think you're just like being a dick.
Right.
Which you are.
People are, I know, but I'm saying they think they don't even, they don't recognize like,
oh, he's trying to hit or whatever.
Right.
They just think you're being a dick.
Yeah.
I don't know you.
Right.
Yeah, I've done that a lot.
I don't think I can experience this.
This is a brief detour, but I think you'll enjoy this.
So for every reason, my weed store, you put in your phone number, they'll say, they'll text
you like whatever today's sale is or whatever.
I think that's the reason.
Yeah.
Today's Martin Luther King Day.
And I just got to text my weed store.
It says, Project Cannabis believes in aligns with Dr. King's values.
Commendous.
That is so funny.
Yeah, I don't, I was trying to hit.
and I was saying that I don't experience that.
Because, buddy, I don't ever know how to communicate with anybody.
There was a time, and I'm afraid even that this is offensive to people who are autistic,
there was a long time where I was like, oh, I think I'm on the spectrum,
because I can't relate properly to anybody.
Comics think I'm a dick because I'll either go too far.
Like, I'll start making fun of their set or something to them.
and I've learned over the years,
that's the one part
they don't want you shitting on them about.
Right.
Or like I'll be too serious about something.
You know what I mean?
Like I'll get serious about the world
and comics will be like,
well, goddamn, man,
we was just busting balls.
And then in the world,
yes,
like my whole life,
it can be,
I will say,
if you're aware of it,
I became aware of it as a lawyer.
It can be a magic trick too,
though.
If you can like,
so just specifically in the law world,
world just shitting all over a prosecutor in front of all the other lawyers.
They may not like it, but it's like a peacocking thing.
It's like now they have this weird fear of you because you made them feel a little bit
embarrassed in public.
So it can be, I guess, helpful, but mostly, yeah, I struggle with that a lot.
All right.
Well, that was weird.
I don't know what everybody else was thinking.
Good work, boys.
Yeah, right, exactly.
that became a many bit after the first couple seconds of silence.
So, yeah.
You execute it flawlessly as well, Drew,
because that's why we just let it ride for a minute.
All right, well, so.
Yes, it's true.
Yeah, that hit for me.
It hit for me.
Drew reached out to the void for human contact and got nothing.
That's pretty funny.
It was pretty great.
It was the futility you were telling that, Mark.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, well, Joe, was that?
I have no concept of how long we've been on there.
Skew!
We're done.
Thanks, Mark.
