wellRED podcast - #210 - Earnhardt & God or (What not to say in a southern comedy club)
Episode Date: March 3, 2021This week, among other things, the boys discuss letting go of religion and things that have almost gotten their ass whooped at comedy clubs!Sponsors:Lucy.CO Promo code REDTalkSpace.com Promo code WELL...REDJOIN US EVERY FRIDAY ON THE STEREO APP
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And we thank them for sponsoring the show.
Well, no, I'll just go ahead.
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Y'all know that.
I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life.
And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion,
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It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending.
A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis.
I'm not going to lie.
I can be one of those people.
Like, let me ask you right now.
Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people.
People across the skew universe, I should say.
Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?
Do you even know?
Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery?
Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main?
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Do you know how much you spend on that?
It's probably more than you think.
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Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,
but I got an app,
lovely little app where you could, you know,
put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts
and stuff like that.
So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two,
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You know, those weren't a little like the cue ball-looking twin fellas.
Yeah, so that was money.
What was that in response to?
What was that a reply gift for?
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they'll literally kill him before it's over oh yeah oh yeah you know to mean because he has to be
he's got to be the machine all the time that's just dude that's a I'm so glad that and maybe I'm wrong I
I could be wrong, but I feel like in the past three to four months,
I've done a pretty good job of undoing only being the Cho, I guess.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, I'd say, well, you're not being sarcastic?
No, are you kidding me?
I don't know.
In the past few months, the things that have, like, made all the difference for you,
the things that have really popped or are like not at all.
showy. Yeah, being smart.
Saying the right thing. Yeah, well, God
damn it. Am I wrong about it? I mean, you know,
let's be fair here. I can't wait until you
hate that. No, I already do.
But like, I'm saying, like,
I just like, can't I be fat? Can't I fart?
Yeah, no, I know. Look, you live long enough to
see yourself become the enemy. I get it.
There's a, there's no river so long.
It doesn't contain a bend. We all know that.
But I'm saying, like,
it does make me happy, though, thinking
about Burt.
and thinking about like how many times
like in wrestling there's this term
when you're coming up with a finishing move
well I don't know it's not a term but they always say they're like
make sure that whatever your finishing move is
you need to be able to do it on everybody
on every wrestler
so if you pick a finishing move
that is like pressing somebody over your head
well guess what you're wrestling
Yoko Zuna this week so you're not going to be able
to give the crowd that so I've always thought
about that in comedy and like
if your whole thing is something
that at 50 years old you're not going to be able to do,
then you're going to have to like figure it all out then.
Like, holy shit, if your whole thing's being a fucking party boy,
like, you're going to age real a lot.
And so it's been nice in the past four months to be like,
oh, you don't have to do that.
You can just not drink and be fine.
Yeah.
But this whole conversation started because you were envious of Burt's fans.
So it's going to flip the other way.
Yeah, but drinking has nothing to do with that.
We need to, if we're going to use this, we need to do some,
context because we didn't have the first of this.
So, okay, all right.
So Corey got, he said something that wasn't at all offensive that had something a little
bit to do with the professional baseball organization, the Atlanta Braves.
It was not a story about the Braves.
It was not a commentary on the Braves.
The Braves were a very ancillary part of a totally other thing he was talking about.
This infuriated at least one person because Corey didn't go out of his way to
denounce the Braves for all their racist,
racistry, their racism towards Native Americans,
the Tomahawk Chalk, chop, and all that stuff.
But the Braves didn't really have hardly anything to do with what he was doing
in the first thing.
Not a goddamn thing.
I mean,
very upset.
So we were talking before we turned the mic's on about like that,
how that's frustrating and it is.
But then we were,
then it was like,
well,
what about,
we brought up like Tom Seguer and Burke Crischer who can like,
would never have to worry about that.
But then it'd be.
became a matter of, okay, but what are the expectations their fans have for them?
And if you know, Burke Croucher is, he's the machine.
And a lot of his fans have the, he's got to be the machine all the time.
He's got to be, you know, he's got to be fucking hammered and having a great time and partying.
And, you know, just, he's got to be on always.
And that brings its own challenges, gentlemen, and that's what we were talking about.
It does.
And also, for the record, may I state, I'm not mad at this person.
And I'm upset that there are.
upset if that makes sense.
I think it may have been a Native American and therefore I'm never going to tell a person
who's offended as a white man what they can or can't be offended about.
I do think that they somehow read way too much into it, but like I'm not in any way trying
to sit here and go like everyone's such a pussy.
Because like, you know, it's so easy for me to say that when like it's, I'm
Heflin. You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah, absolutely. But they absolutely fucking overreacted,
like without a doubt. And then we were, then we were talking about, and we haven't talked about
this part of it on here. I don't think we've talked about you going viral and all that stuff,
but I don't think this particular element of it was part of that conversation. And I think it's
interesting. Oh, good. I'm about to get made fun of, ladies of gentlemen. You started by saying,
you feel like in the past few months you've done a good job of like diversifying what you do
comedically. And please tell me how I'm wrong.
No, I said I couldn't agree more.
I said objectively speaking, I think that's
extremely true because
for any of our newer listeners, the people don't know,
Corey is the Cho, he's long
been the Cho, and Cho stands for
Chief Hitting Officer, and Corey's thing is,
you know, he hits. And he's like,
you know, the Cho, the Cho,
the Cho Farts, the Cho takes a shirt off, the
show, what? The Cho does do all these
things. He does. You do too.
Cho gets drunk and eats cheese and all this
stuff like that's the show. What are you describing
if not you? Also, I've never
Florida.
Yeah.
But you do it, you know, but you, you, you hit it.
With me, it's a lifestyle.
I get it.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
It's a persona.
Yeah.
That's what the show is.
Yeah.
And it's not a bad thing.
No, of course not.
And then the success you had a few months ago and still do, but that started a few months
ago with the buttercream dream.
Well, that's what's so funny.
I feel like that shirtless wrestler screaming in his yard.
It's like, oh, he didn't show no more.
Well, no, no, no.
That's not what I.
was going to say. I was going to say, I think the buttercream dream, there's still a lot of
that was almost a year ago, though, by the way, when I said a few months ago, I meant like November.
I know what you meant. I'm saying, but when you had the buttercream dream, you were like,
you were being very political and opinionated and that type of thing, but you have a shirt off
with a wrestling, but it's still very chow. For sure. It was a good transition character.
That's a show thing, right? Yeah. But then the ranch you went crazy viral with earlier at the very
beginning of this year.
And this is what I was saying.
Not at all Cho.
There's nothing like Cho about that.
Yeah.
They didn't really hit.
Except in numbers.
They weren't funny.
I weren't worth the fuck.
Right.
You didn't mean them to really.
Of course I didn't,
which is not Cho.
Which is not Joe.
Exactly.
So,
heck,
you're saying,
I know,
you're,
the reason we're talking about this
because you said you're,
heck,
you're pleased.
Yeah.
That you've sort of diversified.
You're,
comedy stylings or whatever, however the hell you want to put it. But is that it? Is that the end of it?
Like, can you expand on that? Like, do you feel? Because like, I think you said before the mics came on,
you're like, well, I can't even fart anymore. Because, you know, now you're a serious, you're a serious
artist. You're like, you're a, you're a, you're a taste maker of sorts. Everything I do should be in
black and white. Yeah. I know. I get, no, I guess what I meant was like, like, like,
Like, I just meant, like, as many times as I've jokingly pretended to be, like, the Jack Black character on Tropic Thunder, like, they only care about my farts.
Most of the time that was just like tongue and cheek kidding.
However, like, you can't help but feel certain ways about yourself in the entertainment world.
And, like, yeah, I'm not going to lie.
There has always been part of me.
It's like, hey, man, you know, the longer you keep up with how it is that you are, the more
that is what you are and that's what you're expected to be.
And like,
even though you see certain people reinvent themselves,
it's like,
it's very rare.
Like,
usually whatever box you're in as a performer,
celebrity,
whatever,
we as a society really,
really,
really like to keep you there.
And like,
I'm speaking for myself too.
Like,
even though we are probably better about it than most civilians
because we're at least in the entertainment industry
and we can kind of like internalize that
and therefore try not to project it out onto the other artists,
we do it, I do it.
Like when I see somebody doing a thing that's not the thing that I like that they did,
I'm like, well, I mean, this is fine, but I wish they'd do that other thing, you know.
And so proving to myself that I could be taken serious was really cool.
And now I'm kind of in this divide of like, it's kind of neat because the people that discovered me for being really, really serious, then when they see me fart, they'll be like, oh, he also fought.
And then the people who saw me, right.
And the people who saw me when I farted will be like, and he can also think.
You know what I'm saying?
The second part, for sure.
I think the people that love to see you fart and then you think, I think most of them are like, look at the show.
Good for the show.
But yeah, the other ones are not so much.
The other people, I wonder.
Now, if when they see you fart, if they're not like, well, now, I didn't want him to
fart.
I didn't come here for farts.
I would argue that a big part of their fandom is that they are not, they take themselves to be of the ilk that does not enjoy someone who farts.
Right. And I can tell you from experience of just like, and I've gotten better about this in the past several weeks. I took a like a week off social media and then I put a timer on my phone and I've been trying to retrain how I, my relationship with apps and stuff like that for mental health reasons. But I will say like, so I shot up to like 190,000 followers like real quick. And then.
It stayed there.
I would gain 100, lose five.
You know, what I'm looking at,
this sucks, whatever,
but who gives a shit?
That's going to happen.
And then I,
like,
I don't remember what the first thing I posted after all that was that didn't have
nothing to do with all that.
Maybe it was a Poldark thing or something.
But like,
I lost like 800 followers,
like,
because I just posted it.
And it wasn't even like an offensive post or nothing like that.
It was just I posted something that these people probably didn't figure I would post.
You know?
That's good.
It is good. No, it is good.
I went into it going like, look, they weren't going to buy the album.
Those 800 people weren't going to buy the album.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's okay.
Like, if I post something extremely shitty, you know, like, fuck people's feelings.
Go Braves, you know, or whatever.
Like, then I, if I lose people, that sucks.
But if I just put, like, if I have a thing go viral politically and then the next day, I'm like,
shit, boy, them frog legs was good.
And like, 800 people leave.
I'm like, well, fuck them.
If they don't want to hear about the frog legs, I don't want to fucking talk to them about it.
You know what I mean?
They don't deserve frog legs.
They think their own farts don't stink.
That's true.
Yeah.
No, we've talked about before.
Like, I did, for anybody that's forgotten or never knew, and you probably still don't care.
I did a recap series of the last season of Game of Thrones.
You should care.
If you're a Game of Thrones fans and you didn't watch it, I rewatch it the other day and it's so fucking funny.
I mean, honestly, I know how silly this thing.
I think that that series is like maybe the funniest stuff I've ever done.
It's your best work.
Just in terms of like jokes and stuff, I was on fire.
You were.
You were on fire.
You were on fire.
God damn.
But what I'm saying is, so obviously I'm pretty proud of that series.
I was proud of it at the time.
I thought I was doing a good job with it.
I still looking back on it, think I did a good job with it.
It was very, very well received by the people that watched it.
And yes.
I ripped it off.
just to do Polarck.
That's how good it was.
A handful of times it did happen because we were still touring at the time.
We would meet a couple people at the shows who would tell me they're like,
I didn't even know about the political part.
I just,
you know,
I found out about you because of the Game of Thrones videos.
But that happened like literally five,
maybe five to ten times total.
Well,
they told you.
You don't know how many people didn't say it.
I know,
but what I'm trying to get at is all that stuff is very positive about that series.
And I felt good about it and I still do.
however at the end of the day and keep in mind game of thrones is as big of a cultural phenomenon as has existed in this country in pop culture in a generation at the end of the day those video just in terms of like views and everything can't hold a candle to like my just my liberal redneck videos yeah my shit will never either better liberal redneck videos or whatnot just blow those out of the water consistently and so I'm saying that was I had
really enjoyed doing a completely different thing.
And I think I did a good job of doing a different thing.
And people who watched it did like it.
But a whole lot of people still just didn't fuck with that.
You know, and I think it's because it's like, oh, I don't, you know, fuck this guy.
Well, I don't, I don't even think it's that.
I think it's just like your people aren't as quick to click share on something that isn't a fucking hot take opinion.
Yeah, emotional like based on emotions and stuff.
Like the same amount of people might like your thing.
It's just they'll never see it because it didn't strike a nerve with someone who went and posted it on some daily cause page on fucking Facebook.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You also have more competition, in my opinion, with the Game of Thrones thing.
Absolutely.
And you did as the liberal race.
I realize everyone was doing politics, but you had a truly fresh for the internet take.
Thank you for that, by the way.
And, yeah, and, uh, yeah, apparently it's still fair.
You seem like you were done in my opinion.
It seems like three years later is still fresh.
Absolutely.
You were competing.
Five years later, still fresh to a lot of people.
But the Game of Thrones thing, you know, isn't that how the long-haired one on the new Queer Eye got started?
I hear for him.
Yeah, yeah.
There, yes.
He was like a lot of competitions.
Yeah, and that was more established.
I only did the last season.
I'm not trying to like lament that it didn't do better.
I'm saying like I felt and still do feel really good about it.
Yeah.
But like speaking objectively.
it's not on the same level in terms of popularity or whatever you want to call it as the liberal redneck videos are.
So, you know, we're just talking about trying to do other stuff.
Dude, it's hard.
It's hard to do other stuff.
Even not in the other stuff aspect.
Like it, like it, you know, obviously you're always happy if you can go viral if for nothing other than just to bump your followers up because that's going to help you sell tickets down the road.
But, like, it's a bummer to me that the two videos I did that got with.
without question the most traction were not, I didn't write them.
You know what I mean?
Whereas like I'd done some other, even in the same avenue,
they were political buttercream videos with this that I wrote that were so goddamn funny.
And again, they did good.
I'm not lamenting either.
But it's like it just hurts that like the thing that really hits was just me being upset.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
But also, and I'm not trying to tell you to start doing this.
You've already said before on the podcast, you're not going to do this.
And I don't blame you.
I respect you for that.
like why used to always have these conversations about because as we've also said we're talking
about your videos people a lot of people thought I was doing what you did meaning a lot of people
early on thought I was just like right for you saying some shit but I didn't I wrote those and
I've been right that's why they were funny from the beginning I wrote yeah right that's why they
had jokes and shit throughout because I actually wrote them yeah but because that was the
perception there was this thing like keeping up with making content or we were on tour and stuff
like that and I'll get told like you know something happened why don't you go live and talk
about it. And the whole time, I was like, I don't, that, that's the jokes. That won't hit for,
you don't understand. Like, that's not what I do. And I'm not talking about fans saying this. I'm
talking about our people, our people telling me to do this. And it'll be like, I, that, that,
that ain't what I do. Right. And there are a lot of, like, influencer types for everyone
call them, who you can tell, that is what they do. But they have, they can do that. And by that,
I mean, turn their, what's up, guys, just checking it. And then they can, like, hit for a minute.
and people enjoy it.
Yeah.
That ain't me.
Right.
I got a plan to hit.
You know what I mean?
Right, right, right.
My point is, I feel like you've proven that if you want to, like, I mean, you can do that.
I can.
I can.
I can.
Because you put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into writing things.
Yeah.
People don't care as much about.
But still, like, you know, I can't do that thing that you did.
I don't have that gear that I can shift into.
the way that you can.
Yeah, there's no reason to be mad that they like it when you just hit.
Yeah, no, I mean, and then there's something to it to where I'm like, well, that actually
is like the buttercream dream and funny Corey, like, don't you're wrong, that's who you are too.
But like that guy, I mean, that was you mad, but that is who you are.
So, like, they like you.
That's cool.
So, I mean, again, like, I'm never going to be, I'm never going to be like, oh, this sucks.
This video about 3 million views.
I just wish they'd like the stuff that hit for me.
You've used words like smart and talking about farting and all that,
but I don't think that had anything to do with,
if there was anyone surprised or whatever,
I don't think that was where it came from.
I think people who read the book weren't surprised at all,
and I think people who are just like a little bit pulled back
who might have been surprised.
The word that got said to me twice by two different comedians
where I didn't know Corey was that sincere of a person.
Like when they're around you, you're joking so much.
Now, again, people who read the book,
They knew how sincere you could be writing about your granny and all that.
And I think that's the secret of the Cho anti-cho thing is figuring out how to keep hitting while being sincere.
Right.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
I've, you know, I've had that before people like say like a, you know, I'm not saying I didn't think that you weren't like a racist or nothing.
But I just figured I just figured that this was just to put on or whatever.
And I'm like, why would I just alienate myself from everyone I went to high school with for the fuck of it and struggle for 12 years?
Trey made a video? You're right. I don't know. But, but yeah, I mean, I can, I can get it.
Because, like, I do, I have a, I don't know if it's a problem or a good thing where, like,
you, you might not ever know where I'm coming from because I'm always bullshitting on something.
Defense mechanism, because I didn't go to college and I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about,
you know, it's the jokes. Yeah. It's that you're always, you know, making jokes.
Right. Yeah. I speak jokes. And I know the people you're talking about aren't listening to our
podcast, you know, and we ain't listening to theirs either.
We're talking about other comics here.
And I don't know who you're talking about.
But, like, you know, Corey has on this show,
I don't even know how many times since we've been doing this show,
he's gotten on one about a particular, like, political subject.
Everybody thinks it's you.
That's when they think I'm you.
Yeah, they tune out for a minute and they come back and being like,
oh, this is smart and insightful.
Trey's really doing something right now.
And then you get done.
Yeah.
Yeah, that hits.
Whatever my mind.
And you fart and they're like, Corey's back.
Yeah, right, exactly.
But yeah, no, I was just,
Corey has done it a lot.
It's just, you know,
in the back,
the backwater boondocks of podcasting that is this show
so people didn't know about it.
But Corey had a tendency to do that.
It always has.
That meaning go off on a very sincere rant
about something that upsets him.
Yeah, also like, you know,
my stand up for the most,
I mean, like, not all of it, but definitely, I mean, everything on our album, like, it was a super fucking politically and societally social issue charged, uh, half hour. And I don't mean that like how that would be the blurb in, and on a fucking, uh, a blog or something like that about. I'm just saying like it was very political, but like, I guess this, the way that I say it, I've had people be like, I like, I like you because you're coming from the same place, ideally, but you don't really talk that much politically. And I'm just, I'm just the way that I say it. I've had people be like, I like, I like you, because you're coming from the same place, ideally, but you don't really talk that much politically. I'm. I'm politically. I
I'm like, what are you fucking talk about?
I did a 15 minute bid on a bill.
What the fuck eat you?
And they're like, oh yeah, I guess you did.
We just heard pudding and started laughing.
And then you took your shirt off and farted and then you left.
And so.
Yeah, they do that too.
And, you know, it's funny when they confuse people on the podcast,
but it's hilarious when they confuse us to us.
Just saw us.
Right after having seen us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the time.
My favorite joke of yours was blah.
And I'd be like, that was Corey's.
The show was 35 minutes ago.
But by the way, then they'll double down and go, I don't think so.
Yeah, you said that, but I'm talking about, yeah, that's Corey's joke.
Nah, agree to disagree, you know what I'm saying?
I don't think so.
It was about, like, being mad about politics.
I don't think it was his.
It couldn't have been.
He was too busy farting and lighting his chest on fire.
He's stupid.
Trey asked him to fart and he did.
He had that great joke about pulling out.
Well, that was my joke.
No, no, he would never.
Nah, it seems like a him thing.
What would him being?
naked and dumb and stinky and look at him.
I think we probably told us on the show before,
but our buddy back in Knoxville,
old Rick once almost got his ass whip
by an entire minor league hockey team
because of a joke I told at a bar show in Knoxville in like 2011.
I forgot this story.
Tell the whole thing again.
Well, I don't, and no bullshit,
and I don't remember the exact joke or bit has been so long,
but I said,
I made like a school shooter joke in the middle of it, right?
Trust me, y'all, it worked, all right?
It was fine.
I've done one.
You know, I was on the right side of it, okay?
I wasn't like, you know, but, but I somehow invoked school shootings or something.
I used to have this bill where I'm talking about how white people are racist,
but they're shittier at all the things they're racist towards black people for.
Yeah.
Meaning like, you know, oh, they think black racist, white people think black people still.
Well, white people still, too.
It's just, you know, they're social security.
they steal your me-maws, yeah, Social Security or whatever, which is shittier.
That was the crux of it.
And there was something in there about, like, gun violence in black communities or whatever.
And I was like, yet, you know, what's our gun violence?
Yeah, white people.
Oh, yeah, not a bit.
White people to shoot up schools or something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
It was an actual joke.
And it always worked pretty well, but it was, you know, pretty provocative or whatever.
And I did it at a bar show in Knoxville, Tennessee on like a Wednesday night.
like a happy hour bar show in Knoxville.
And there's a minor league hockey team in Knoxville called the Knoxville Ice Bears.
And they had had a game that day and were like all out together at the bar.
And you never, you know, you never believe this.
We weren't hitting for them particularly.
Yeah.
You and Rick, really.
Drew was there too.
Drew was there too.
I roasted them.
It wasn't just the three of us.
It wasn't just the three of us.
It was, you know, it was like little Knox comedy thing that Jeff Blank was probably there.
I don't know, four or five, four or five of us.
But I told, you know, I did my little bullshit, including that joke.
And then I actually wasn't there for this, which is doubly hilarious to me because I wasn't even present.
But, well, I mean, so they, the hockey players came up to Rick and were like, hey, motherfucker, we don't, you don't, you shouldn't be joking about shooting kids or school shootings or whatever.
And Rick's like, what are you talking about?
And they were like getting in his face and we're about to whoop his ass.
And I was just like, I was like, you know.
Rick was just so happy somebody was talking about his jokes.
He didn't even give a fuck that they weren't his.
Well, I mean, y'all know Rick.
Rick's a lot of things, but a withering flower and physical altercation is not one of them.
That's true.
He bounced.
He bounced for years.
He bounced even after he retired.
He kept bouncing for love of the game.
But, I mean, he wasn't like standing down or whatever, but he was like, he was very much like, what are you talking about?
Yeah.
I didn't do any jokes.
And I'm sitting there talking to my new sister-in-law, who's like 20.
So I'm dealing with this weird family thing.
And I don't know if you remember, Trey, but like I spent five minutes just roasting them.
Talking about how like they're not even in, they're not even in the worst professional league in America.
They're amateurs just shitting on them.
And this dude is trying to fight Rick.
It was really one guy, to be fair.
The other ones were there.
This dude's trying to fight Rick over Trey's joke.
Didn't get mad at me.
Didn't get mad at Trey.
It's only mad at Wayland Whiskey.
Trey, I almost got my ass whoop because of one of your jokes.
one time too.
Really?
By a woman.
You remember,
you remember this.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I want you to tell the joke after this,
but I'm outside smoking a cigarette.
We double headlined or co-headlined or whatever the fuck that bullshit is, you know.
And I'd gone first,
I reckon, just because of how this story's working out.
And I'm outside smoking a cigarette.
And by God,
if fucking, you know,
a large, large type doesn't walk out,
just fucking putting her jacket on,
cussing and kicking the door up and just going, I swear to God, fuck that motherfucker.
I tell you what?
And I was just like, hey, you know, I'm fucking so curious.
I'm like, hey, uh, what's wrong?
She said, we're fucking leaving, Swat.
And I was like, I was like, why?
What happened?
She goes, look, I don't know about you, but where I come from, you just don't
fucking talk about Dale Earnhardt like that.
And I was just like, I mean, I didn't even know what you'd said, but I knew what
you hadn't said, which was anything derogatory about Dale Earnhardt.
And I was just like, ma'am, he was.
he would never.
And she couldn't tell me what it was.
She was not getting it across to me.
And then I asked you afterwards and I was like, what was the joke?
Once again, it was, of course, yeah, it's funny.
When you told me that she said that to you, literally the first thing I said, she's not even present anymore,
but you told me the story, the first thing I said to you was, okay, well, first of all, I would never.
She don't tell her heart.
But I did invoke his name.
We decided that you just.
brought him up and it had been too soon.
It was about plates. It was something about decorative plates.
Oh, yeah.
Matching Earnhardt.
That had Del Earnhardt on them.
Yeah.
It's, you all got matching plates.
It was learning.
Yeah, it was about going to my college girlfriend's house and all their plates match.
And I was like, what is this about?
And then I started, and I brought up the plates.
We had my house.
So now the fancy ones had Del Earnhardt on them or something.
I'm pretty sure the line.
I don't want to fuck up your joke, but I'm pretty sure the line is
matching plates.
And ain't none of them got paid.
Manning her Del Earnhardt on him? God, damn.
Yeah, it was something like that.
That's definitely what it became.
Yeah, it was, I would interchange.
I think I might have switched to Peyton Manning after the Del Earnhardt Fiasco.
After Earnhardt Gate.
Yeah, Earnhardt Gate, yeah.
I do think that there's, she probably had a little bit of that reaction in her where
some people in the South, you just bring up Jesus.
It don't matter what you're saying.
It was that kind of thing, yeah.
Unless you're like I was at church.
It was exactly the type of thing where someone brought up Jesus.
Oh, that happens all. Yeah, that happened all the time.
Yeah.
I never wanted to fight me over a Jesus joke that I recall.
I guess even those dumb idiots who came to a comedy show and get mad about jokes,
no, they're stupid to fight over Jesus.
I do, I currently do a joke wherein Jesus gets gang banged.
It's done pretty well.
I haven't done it down at the VFW yet.
You had been closing with it, and it was my favorite,
to come up on that stage right after that because it's just like even our, because especially
in the South, it's like our fans loved it, but they had that thing where they're like, yeah,
they weren't going to leave.
Is my pastor here?
Yeah, they weren't going to leave, but just for a second, they had to remember if they liked
me or not.
And where they were.
Yeah.
Like that whole like, like, you remember when we did that, um, Satan preacher sketch?
Oh yeah.
I got messages from like really, really degenerate comedian.
who were like, this is great, but I can't share it.
So I think their reaction to your butt-fuck Jesus joke is like,
this is great, but I can't laugh because I've trained myself
not to laugh at stuff like this at my office or whatever.
Yeah, which is probably why it's one of the jokes I'm the most proud of.
Sure.
Because I mean, laughing is not controllable.
Exactly.
Like, I know if you're laughing at this joke, you tried real goddamn hard first not to.
So that's really neat.
Especially in the South.
Oh yeah
Oh hell yeah
Especially in the South
But like you said
Most of our fans are fucking godless
But you still have those hangups
Like you've like me
Like you know
Me and you've talked about this a million times
I uh
I stopped believing like in the church
At like fucking nine years old
But I was still
Every now and then when I was 19
praying like
You know what I mean
Like I would do something
And it was just an instinct
And the whole time
And the whole time be like
No this ain't
You know what just in case
Lord God, you know, and it took me a while to get over that.
And again, I hadn't believed in fucking years.
Like, it's a fucking trauma, dude.
Like, for real, a trauma.
Yeah, man.
You know what else is a fucking trauma?
Double those ages, and that's me.
18, and I hope when I'm 40, I'll get over it.
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Yes, we were talking about trauma there.
And I want to get back into y'all's trauma, at least a little bit.
Of course.
Jesus trauma.
But, you know, a lot of trauma going around, a lot of people right now.
It's been a traumatic time in this world.
and, you know, we're all feeling it.
It's more important than ever now to take care of yourself mentally.
It's February now.
If you're coupled up, you know, it's March.
I keep losing track of time.
I know, dude, it's nuts.
It's much.
February just ended.
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So it's incredibly convenient to have virtual sessions from the comfort of your home, Drew.
Yeah, TalkSpace lets you send and receive messages unlimited with your dedicated therapist.
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And hey, we've been talking about comedy and doing stuff and shows.
And another different thing that we've been doing recently is,
hanging out over on the stereo app and doing a little show Fridays at 3 Eastern
stereo app.
It's got thousands of live social conversations with a wide range of genres for every interest,
including news, comedy, which ostensibly is what we do.
I really truly want y'all to download the app.
It's free.
I've had a good time.
What we do is only two of us can be on there at once because of the limits of the technology,
but it's kind of a bummer.
Because if me and Corey are on there talking about how much he hits,
y'all can call in and talk about how much he don't hit and leave a voicemail and we'll play it on the air
and I think I've figured out how to do that a better job uh you know coming in and out with them
and bringing people on and stuff like that people are having a lot of fun leaving us voice messages
we'll be there this Friday at noon Pacific three Eastern it'll be me and Trey because we rotate
who does them and we will talk for about 15 20 minutes and then we will play your voicemails so
if you want to leave us a voicemail and have it played out and do the evening
you know you do, download that stereo app and then search our names.
Drew Morg.
Excuse me, Drew Morgan.
I thought I was going to do my other social media.
Trey Crowder and Corey R. Forrester, is that right?
And I'll have posted the link to the show.
By the time you hear this, I already have it up.
It'll say well-read three or four or whatever number we're on,
and you'll be able to put it in your calendar,
and you'll be able to hear me and Trey talk.
Yeah.
They are fun.
I've been having a blast with them.
And so far, we've ran into no problems on the leaving a voicemail part.
We do keep testing it by saying things as such.
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It's kind of ruined me for any other podcasting experience because I really like that.
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Absolutely.
All right.
So, yeah, y'all's trauma.
Y'all's Jesus trauma or whatever.
You know, I've talked about this a lot.
We've talked about it a lot.
I'm a really weird and unusual case when it comes to the Lord in that.
Like, I'm not at all a believer, but I'm not even a little bit, what's the word, zealous about it?
And I've chalked that up to like, I don't have, I grew up pretty much just a religious.
Right.
You weren't in it.
You don't know how much you hate it.
Right.
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
It's like, so I don't, it's, and you know, I've been, I have been celebrated by the
godless community, as you all know.
I've been awarded honors at.
Yeah, by the way, he's done.
I'm in now.
Holler at me.
I'll come do your shit.
Please celebrate show for a little while.
But anyway, they're always shocked to find this about me that, like, I don't, I don't really
care all that much about the Lord one way or another. And I really don't. I'm not that because most
people that are godless are very passionate about it. And I've come to realize it's because they have
I don't know. I'm saying most people that are godless are like you. Okay. Well, all right. The ones who are
vocally godless. Yeah, yeah. Just like anything. Just like most Southerners aren't Trump supporters per se,
but the goddamn loudest ones are. You're right. That's true. But I chalked that up to the lack of
trauma. Right. Yeah, for sure. All the people I meet, all the atheists I meet and talk to that are very vocal. Every single one of them.
Yeah. grew up in the church and was like traumatized by it in some way or another. And I think you were weird if that wasn't the case.
So they expect me to share that with them. And it's not that I don't necessarily, but like I used to have a bit about it. You know, they would like bring me their pamphlets and stuff because I would do in jokes about the trauma that the church caused me. And my thing with that,
is like, dude, the whole thing is let it go.
Yeah.
Like being so anti the thing that ruined you.
What's the difference?
It's still letting it lead your life.
Exactly.
Like hang out with them in a basement with all carpeted gym floor or hang out with you
at the double tree so we can listen to Christopher Hitch and stuff.
Either way, y'all are fat and ugly and I want to hang out with y'all.
Like y'all talk about God just as much as the God people,
but at least the God people have banana pudding.
So like either change your buffet situation or shut the fuck up.
Also, like, just go to a concert.
Yeah.
I don't believe in God anymore.
Cool.
Go fucking worship Steely Dan or something.
Interesting.
Right.
They act like it's fucking AA or something.
Like, when you're, like, if you don't want to drink booze anymore, like, I get that.
Like, you got to go, you still have to talk about booze or whatever.
But with God, I don't, like, accidentally wake up sometimes and I'm just in a praise service.
Like, oh, God, how'd I get here?
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm fucking very happy.
You know, I'm fucking.
fucking 20 years completely clean and sober on the blood of the lamb and I ain't fucking going back.
That'd be a good sketch.
It would.
Another thing that I think is wild to a lot of the more like hardcore atheist types or whatever that I do is like I'll even though I never grew up in the church.
I still grew up in like the Bible Belt.
And I'll still say things like, you know, praise the Lord or whatever like that.
Ironically.
Sometimes.
Yeah.
And some, you know, I've took to oftentimes saying the fake Lord, but not always.
Sometimes I'll just, or I'll say, oh, I was praying or, oh, thank you Jesus, you know.
And like, but I don't, I don't mean any of it.
And it's kind of funny to me to say it.
It's just what you say when somebody scores a fucking touchdown.
Yeah, right.
It's also, it's also our culture, guys.
Yeah.
And there's parts of that culture have that has hurt people.
It's also produced fucking rock and roll.
Absolutely.
You don't have it without the church.
Yeah.
you can also believe in God without the church too, which is there's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, I'm not.
I don't know if I've told you all before, but that's what I said I was for a long time as a kid,
I mean, like growing up in Salina.
I didn't, I wasn't like, I wasn't talking about not believing in God and shit when I was like,
when I was younger, but I never went to church and I didn't like the church.
So I would talk shit about the church and make fun of the church or make fun of the Bible or
Jesus or whatever.
But if you asked me then, if I believed in God, I'd be like, yeah, I believe in God.
I just, you know, not this version of Emmer.
Well, I mean, that's me.
That's not true for me any longer, but that's what I was initially.
And I don't know if you.
I remember thinking, I remember reading about Pascal's wager, you know, when I was a teenager.
Do I do Mandalorian or do I do?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, you know, the whole thing of like, why not believe in God?
Because if you're wrong.
Yeah, just in case.
That's not how belief works.
Right, exactly.
But as a teenager, never.
with church and didn't like church and that type of thing.
When I read that, I was like, oh, yeah, see, that makes sense to me.
So I'll just, you know, sure, there's a God.
We're cool.
You know, but fuck all that church stuff.
But then I realized later, like, that, what is, what even is that?
Well, I think I'm that way, like, now, but instead of it being like, well, I know I believe
in God, just not the God that y'all say, I was always like, I still think there's
probably something that did all this, but, like, there's no fucking way.
any of y'all got it right and also he don't fucking hate polyester windbreakers and fucking shrimp like that's so dumb right um but i believe like uh i'm one of them
you know i kind of like truly wholeheartedly believe that like in the uh was it the egg mess like we're all
we are god god just it's vibrations its string theory like that just is us i believe that kind of like we
all like I die then I become a tree
and not necessarily reincarnation but just like
God is energy the energy
we have is what the only
way that our human brains can conceptualize
what a God is that's what it is
but like nowhere in that
belief of mine is there any
room for me to go
and if you don't think that
you're gonna burn in hell forever
so that's the big difference
to me I don't really rightly give
a fuck if you don't believe me because
like to me if what
believe is true. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You know what I mean? It doesn't.
I read it. I was reading a Reddit thread somehow or another. Y'all know how you know how it goes about the Amish.
And there was a bunch of people in Pennsylvania talking about because, you know, that they're full of shit. Amish you're huge in Pennsylvania.
I'm kidding. And it was all these regular Pennsylvania people talking about the Amish. And a lot of them kept making the same point of like, you know what I appreciate about the Amish is that they don't try to force their shit on to everybody.
else, which I guess is true, but it might, it kind of, it's funny to me to think about like,
do you think they tried for a while?
Right.
And just every single person was like, what?
No.
Also, definitely not that.
Could you repeat that again?
Also, have you ever been stuck behind a wagon?
Do what?
Have you ever been stuck behind a wagon like in homage country?
Of course, yeah.
Yeah, well, that's kind of forcing it on me.
Yeah, I agree.
You know what I mean?
Right.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Like people.
Those fucking haircuts.
It was like, you know how people get on the internet sometimes?
What is up with that?
Have a mustache or don't.
Right.
You know how people get on the internet sometimes about like, I don't know, going out of the way to be overly diplomatic or something.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
It was like, everybody was like Amish is a race.
Right.
Like they're being racist.
People like having to find something.
They ain't.
Right.
Exactly.
They're not reading it.
It doesn't matter.
But like them having to find something nice to say about the Amish.
and multiple people kept landing on like, you know, they don't,
they don't shove it in your face or whatever.
And it was just kind of funny to me because, like you said,
it's like, how can I mean, they kind of do.
But also, how could they?
Exactly, right.
Like what?
They could be on their farm talking shit right now for all I know.
It's not like they got a podcast.
You know what I mean?
They got two 10 cans on the fucking Apple network that I can hear their bullshit.
I don't think so.
Trust me, they got some fucked up thoughts that they would love you to believe in.
I promise you.
It's just that you have.
to go to their goddamn house and hear it.
I think it's fair.
What you're saying is true.
They don't even have the means,
but it is fair to give a religion credit for that
because that is when 90% of the problems start.
Of course.
The other direction,
I'm just halfway kidding, by the way.
Well, when they're off to themselves,
the only thing you have to worry about then,
the other 10% that's caused by not by proselytize
and is like, okay, what are they doing to their kids,
especially their young girls.
And the women's.
And how many guns they got?
Like, what's happening with that?
Are they waiting to throw it on us?
Are they keeping it to themselves for the next 10 years?
And then the day comes that we've all been waiting for, Obadi.
Right.
Yeah.
You know who else keeps themselves?
North Korea.
Am I right?
Yeah.
If Osama bin Laden had stayed his ass in his cave, we wouldn't have a fuck.
Yeah.
Sorry to all the Amish listeners we have out there.
I didn't mean the North Koreans.
The North Korean regime.
And the North Korean listeners, yes.
I apologize to both.
I want to apologize us personally to Osama bin Laden.
Yeah.
Boag.
So,
ah, shit, what was I going to say?
But Drew,
didn't that like,
all the,
like, big religions and sub-genres of religion,
whatever that's called,
denominations.
Anyway,
yeah,
that word.
The other one.
I like genre better.
Sub-genres of God.
Yeah.
They almost all share that proselytize.
thing right because like they have to or right like if they if they didn't have that they wouldn't be
they wouldn't be you wouldn't know the difference have to spread it happening here the ones who don't do it
died out because of what you're talking about for the most part um Jews have historically been an
exception to that uh because lately they've been recruiting but for the most part uh you know it was like
you got to be born into it or whatever um it's interesting here's how i know my trauma is doing good though
I usually have so much to say about this topic.
It's come up before and I've probably had a tendency to dominate the conversation.
Dude, I just, I'm done.
I'm done talking about.
I mean, to your question specifically, yeah, it's two things.
One is it's like a rule in their religion.
You've got to proselytize.
And then two, and I've said this before on here, it kind of makes sense.
Like, if you genuinely believe that my soul will burn in hell forever and you're my friend,
like keep it to yourself.
but I have some empathy for you that you don't want to keep it to yourself.
Well, that's the thing.
They actually are worried about me.
They genuinely believe that they are being a bad, some of them.
They genuinely believe they're being a bad person if they don't tell you about it.
And that's true.
Like, it's sort of kind of like that, like, it's the same logic of that Louis joke when he was talking about the people who, abortion.
And he's like, well, in their defense, to them, you're killing a baby.
Like, they think that, so they're going to treat you like they think you're killing a baby.
So, like, dude, some of these little old sweet ladies, like, they genuinely believe that they are being the best person they can believe in doing, be in doing me a favor by saying, young man, you need to quit hanging out with this crowd and go hang out with Jesus.
And I can tell you what my mom says about that.
And I think that this is true, but not everybody believes this.
but she genuinely believes that unless someone kind of comes to you first,
that it's not going to work.
Right, because you've got to want to help yourself.
And I think that's part of why my mom is known in the community as being such a good person.
I think she tries really hard to seem like she has something other people will be curious about.
And then, and I know this.
I've seen her do it.
I've seen women ask her like, how do you do it?
And you're so sweet.
And then that's when she's like, and here is the opportunity to proselytize.
it is because of my relationship with the Lord.
And for the record, that's true.
Whether God's real or not, that sentence is true.
My mother's relationship with the Lord, whether the Lord is real or not,
is in fact why she is that way.
So she is telling those people the truth.
We were supposed to talk about Jerry Clower.
I was about to say, did I watch a shit ton of Jerry Clower for nothing?
Yeah, right.
Tangentially related to here, yes, exactly,
because Jerry Clower, for those of y'all listen and don't know,
Southern Comic did the Southern Circuit
They're legendary on the Southern Circuit for five decades,
whatever, up until the 90s when he died.
And he was from Liberty, Mississippi,
and was very clean and Jesusy and all that stuff
and was just hugely influential.
Somehow we got to, oh, yeah, Drew brought up his mom loving Jerry.
No, Corey, I remember how Jerry Clower got brought up.
Cory.
I'll tell it.
I'll tell it.
Yeah, please do.
So yesterday I was on one of my walks in the wood. God, this is, I forgot, this is why I've been watching Jerry Clower for two days. This is so funny. I'm on one of my walks in the woods and I was about to do one of my Sunday strolls. First off, thank you all for everybody who participates in those Sunday strolls. I have a lot of fun with them. It's a live stream I do on Twitter every, you guessed it, Sunday. So I did it at 12 this week and about 1155. I was like, oh, I better, I better go get my selfie stick out and set everything up.
up and make sure I got my mic on and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So I decided to go off the beaten path a little bit.
I'm walking.
I've got my headphones in.
I'm not paying attention to nothing.
I got my headphones in.
I'm saying, I'm just, Brandy, you're a fine girl, you're a fine girl.
Nothing.
I got my head down and walking through the woods a little bit, and I look up, and just about
soon as I look up, all I see is just a fucking white streak.
not right in front of my eyes,
but I'd say about, you know, 25, 30 yards.
By the time I process what's going on,
it is just these, folks, these two,
this couple had been porking in the woods.
Is pork in an app description, you reckon?
Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna, uh, uh, here's what,
uh, one of the songs from Dumb and Dumber came to mind when they're,
right when they're about to meet C-Bass and they go into the diner.
Do you remember what song comes on?
Oh my God, no.
It starts out, it goes,
two foot a buck crack is all I could see.
That's all I know.
Now, wait, were you on live?
No, no, no, no, no.
I wasn't.
And thank, it's unfortunate.
I think I should say no.
It would go viral, yeah.
But here's the thing, though, and I will say this,
I genuinely, when I am doing the live streams
and I have the camera facing forward,
so I'm looking forward at everything and I'm very cognizant all the time of when I do see people up ahead and every time I do I go off into the woods so they can pass me and not pick up on the camera because I know there's a lot of people that would prefer not to be on camera and that's rude of me and also one thing that's I've thought up I'm going to get back to these people is that some people it's you know where I'm from the park is oftentimes where two people who ain't poble.
together is together.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes.
Aren't you specifically saying two wieners or two?
No, no, no.
It wasn't two wieners.
I know you're not saying that's what you saw, but I'm saying it.
No, I'm talking about cheating.
Okay.
I'm talking about cheating.
No, now, now, now.
But that also, right, that's the thing, like in part, you go to, you know.
Yeah, you butt, fuck, both people butt fucking park.
Yeah, right, exactly.
Everybody knows that.
Dude, Central Park ate up with butt fucking back in the day.
Probably still is.
Yeah.
Sure.
No, not there's anything wrong with it.
It definitely is.
Of course not.
It's known, like if you're trying to smoke weed, do not go to a corner of the park thinking,
we're going to find some privacy over here.
You will not find privacy.
You will often find an orgy.
Yeah.
Sometimes a homeless one.
Yeah, which hits.
But so I thought, again, I'm having to process a lot at once.
I see these two big old asses.
These people were at varying degrees of pulling their britches up.
One was about around the
mid thigh
and the other one was below the knee
and they was fucking
I mean for shimmying like they was
they was going pretty fucking good
and then I process all that
Huh?
Anybody fall?
If they did it was after I had turned around
and I still had my headphones and shit on.
I turned around because I didn't want us
to make eye contact
because I wanted to give them plausible
deniability that maybe this person didn't see us
now as I'm turning
I'm like I start processing I go
oh my God
this is two dudes and not that there's anything wrong with that and the only reason i thought it was
two dudes is because it was one of them couples y'all that you know how it goes where you've been married
for a while and all of a sudden you both just look like the same thing like you've even got the
same wolf shirt on and they're big dude that is such a wild and funny thing that absolutely happens
you just eat the exact same dinner and move the exact same not amount you're going to look you
know what I mean?
And like, basically it's just that his tities look like hers, not the other way around.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So, but the only reason I realized.
Yeah.
I went, I went straight from, oh, my God, it's two fat weaners in a butt to, to, to,
never mind, there's a ponytail and earrings as I was like, I caught that right here as I was running.
And then they start running off.
And I was, and I know too, who, I don't know how long, I don't know how long they had seen me.
And if they saw me for a while, they had to have seen that I had a selfie stick in my hand.
And I think they think that they have been caught fucking each other in the woods.
Now, I don't know how it's possible.
I don't know how this is possible, but I think they surely, I mean, unless they were butt-ass-naked when you got in the general vicinity.
Right.
And this is just how long it took them to dress and run away and scuttle away.
But yeah, they, it very much sound, the way you're describing it, I mean, it sounds like,
you caught them.
Yeah, yeah.
If they knew you were coming,
you know,
it must just been there snorting too hard,
you know,
right.
Right.
So,
so to bring this all back around.
I've done that myself plenty times.
Oh, yeah.
I never don't snort.
So to bring this all back around,
Gary Clower snorts.
You said,
you,
you,
you said,
because I said,
I just seen two big,
fat,
white asses.
And one of y'all said,
were it two dudes?
Because,
I mean,
I think that's an important question
I asked in this story.
And I said, no, it was a guy and a girl, dot, dot, dot,
both of whom looked like Jerry Clower.
Yeah.
And that led to all of us
watching Jerry Clower specials
and reading Jerry Clower Wikipedia and stuff
for the next, you know,
36 hours or whatever.
This might have to be a two-parter.
I want to talk a lot about Jerry Plower,
but I have to ask a few questions about
Okay.
Now, you just said...
I've pretty much given you all I know, just to let you know.
Okay, I'll have one question.
You said they looked the same,
but Trey also pointed out that the scenario makes it seem like it might have been some shady shit.
Either they have a woods kink, which does not explain them running away, honestly.
Most people who fucking woods kind of want to get caught,
or somebody was cheating on somebody.
Well, okay, that's true, but I was about to say, like,
if me and my wife, who it's totally fine if I have sex with,
we're having sex in the woods and somebody just came up on us.
I don't think either one of us would be like,
keep going.
We're married.
You know what I mean?
Like, we'd get scared.
In fact,
this exact scenario has happened to me and her at several weddings in the field.
Usually with a barn nearby.
Yeah.
And you're,
you're wet and drunk.
And that's a little different.
As someone who's had a lot of sex while hiking,
I can tell you that it's not like you'd be like,
yeah, you want to see that.
You would definitely be like,
well, they don't want to see it.
But I think that's cheating.
It's like way more common.
How many times you had sex while hiking?
Me?
Never.
Yeah.
I don't hike.
I don't hike with my wife like a lunatic.
I don't think they hike that much.
They don't.
They weigh 350 pounds.
Right.
You're probably right.
But I don't think that anything about the story indicates that like if they
No, by the way, they could be cheating.
It's New Year's resolution.
All right.
They're big couple.
New Year's resolution.
We got to lose some weight.
We've got to work on ourselves.
They start hiking.
and shit like Corey's been doing.
And they're doing it together.
And, you know, they love each other very much.
They get out there.
They get overtook with passion for some ways.
It was a beautiful day.
Mel to Barton to wind or whatever.
That was the reward.
Promising.
If we make it to that one tree, I'll give you a reward.
This is her, that was she incentivized that.
Sometimes you just get, you know, I mean, it gets more rare.
The older you are and the longer you're with somebody,
but sometimes you just get swept up in it.
I'm wanting to jack off out there a lot, but never have.
Started walking, got swept up in it.
Now they're doing it.
They're being adventurous.
And I think a couple like that, especially, I think if it is that type of thing where it isn't normal for them.
And it is like, ooh, we're doing something.
They are absolutely going to freak out and run away when somebody comes up.
Speaking of that, like, why is it that when I, like, all, when I see these two people having sex,
it's just like a funny thing that I think about and it's been good for this podcast.
However, if I heard somebody was just caught jacking off in the woods, I'd be like, they need to go to prison.
You know what I mean?
Like, the fact that at least they're doing it together, I'm like, oh, that's kind of romantic.
But if it was just a dude jacking off on a stump, I'd be like, buddy, come on.
Keep it at the house.
Because it's grosser somehow.
I know.
But not just in a homophobic way.
There's something like embarrassing about masturbation that's way less embarrassing about sex, I think.
Fair or not.
Like if he's jerking off on a train, you're a creep,
but if he's fucking on a train, you're exciting.
I mean, unless somebody's there with their kid
and then they're going to be like, you fucking creeps.
Yeah, you shouldn't do that regardless.
Yeah.
It's going to make this a whole lot weird.
It's just because a woman is involved.
If you caught a woman masturbating on a train,
you'd be like, how exciting.
Right, exactly.
It's going to make this already weird situation a lot weird,
but like we're talking about just like adults, right?
Y'all never jerked in the woods when you were teenagers.
Absolutely.
Like with your friends.
First place as I did jerk off.
Sitting on the same stump with your buddies.
Our woods, though.
Like, not, I'm talking, I was in the park.
That's the people's woods.
You're right.
You cut him off.
There was a whole second half of that paragraph.
I've told that story before a bunch of times.
That's why I just filled it down.
That's true.
You know, we knew we'd agree with.
You know, we knew what we're agreeing to.
Out dicking around in woods.
We're all 14.
Somebody saw good looking.
It wasn't a stump as a log.
You needed enough room to fit like four, you know, dudes on it.
That way you can make eye contact when you came.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, you just look, you stare at the same, you know.
We only got one picture.
Huddle up.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
Yeah, to paraphrase DJ, you know, somebody draw some titties in that mud over there.
I think about that joke.
All the time.
Once a week at least.
Just draw some mud tidies.
God damn.
That's so fucking funny.
So I want to at the very least share a couple of things about Jerry Clower for people.
I just figured we were going to tease next week's episode and just do Jerry Clower.
I'm fine with that.
Because let me explain to you why.
We've done about an hour already here
and I watched too much Jerry Clower
for us to just talk about him for 10 minutes.
No, I know, I was about saying like,
yesterday we were like, let's do a whole episode
I know, and I want to do that.
And we currently haven't done that.
So I think it should be a tease.
I've got like an emotional attachment to it
because like Mama used to play him in the car
and I'm realizing the more I thought about it,
this is my first comedian,
and fellas. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
Like, I think this just needs to be a grand tease
for next week's episode, which will be
Jerry Clower. All right.
Yeah. No,
him for you? I'm completely, yes, it does
for me. I'm totally fine with that. There's something
funny about like teasing it out, you know,
hooking, making sure we get our hooks
in, really drag them back with
the Jerry Clower segment.
What? No, it will hit. It'll be
fun. I'm... You underestimate
our fans. And people
who don't know who he is can go listen to him,
right now and be ready for it.
And you can listen to this one or two stories.
You'll get it.
You'll get the gist of it after one or two.
If you like it, listen to more.
But like, find, there's like eight-minute tracks on YouTube or whatever.
Listen to one of his stories.
Marcel Ledbetter stories is where I'd start.
Absolutely.
What's happening?
I don't know.
I was just trying to hold it.
I think we were just doing the same thing for a minute there.
Like neither one was talking, but for no good reason.
Yeah.
I'll add that up.
I thought Trey froze.
He wasn't moving at all.
Yeah.
just doing my statue thing.
You're going to edit that part out, okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, we can add to the teaser by letting everybody know there might be a little bit of dramatic tension
because it will not shock you all to know that my daddy ain't fuck with Jerry Clower at all.
I have known who Jerry Clower is for a long time.
I got nothing but respect for him comedically.
I do not have remotely the same attachment to Jerry Clower that y'all do.
So maybe that will add to some of the...
It goes...
It's a Jesus thing.
Yeah, right.
Yes.
We were allowed.
Yeah.
He's like church, all church.
Yeah, you could listen to the stuff that actually hit.
Right.
Yeah.
We also listened to DC talk and pretended to like that.
What would people do if I told them that I was a Jesus freak?
You know what I made a question that begged us for years.
React.
Is that a DC talk about?
That I was a Jesus freak.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did it hit?
For what it was, it did.
Yeah.
It was the hitness.
of the worst genre on planet Earth.
It was the Los Angeles Sparks.
What would people do if they found that I'm a Jesus free?
What would people do when they find that is true?
What would people think fuck my butt with a rosary?
That was a wonderful musical trend, by the way,
that particular singing style that was just absolutely.
It was like, it was Eddie Vedder and Travis Trit were the two on the spectrum.
You just kind of.
I read a story online once would do that went to a Creed concert without being a huge Creed fan.
And it was like just like two or three years after Creed fell off.
And he was talking about Scott Stapp been out there.
And how he would do is like he would tell a little anecdote in between every song.
Oh, God.
It would always be super pretentious.
And then he would end it with something that led into this.
Like, so for example, he'd be like, he'd tell an anecdote about, you know,
saving an African orphan's life or something like that.
You know what I mean?
And tell it very seriously.
And then at the end of it, he'd be like, and then he ran to me.
He ran to me with arms wife.
With arms wild.
And that's how he did.
That's so funny.
Single song, according to this random dude on the internet.
But I've no.
ever forgotten that.
I really wish two chains would start doing that.
Yeah, that would rule.
Yeah.
I don't know how that would go.
Arkelly kind of did versions of that, you know.
Arkelly did the Southern gospel shit where he, he talks saying a lot of things.
Everything.
Yeah.
I've been seen Arkelly once years ago, and Aziz has a whole bit about this.
It's so funny.
He doesn't ever speak a word during the entire show.
He exclusively sings.
Yeah, right.
Everything he says, even things that aren't like lyric.
or anything at all.
I said Robert.
I said Robert.
That bit is fucking hilarious.
Yeah, it's so funny.
That bit, the Kanye bit,
the Pearl Jam concert bit,
he was so phenomenal at pop culture.
Oh, yeah.
You don't eat this shit purple.
Talking about grapefruit juice.
Yeah.
Because he thought it was grape,
like grapefruit was just another word for grape or something.
50 cent has sent said,
fuck is the,
and sorry, I never did that.
I know what grapefruit is and got all mad about it,
which makes it funnier to me.
That's way funnier.
Why ain't this shit purple?
Oh, fuck me.
Well, boys, hey, you know, what you can do before we come back next week with Jerry
Clower, you can listen to us this Friday on stereo, correct?
Yes, absolutely.
Yep, yep.
And, yeah, we'll see you next week and it'll hit.
Yeah, we'll be.
on there Friday. It'll be me and
Trey at noon Pacific 3 Eastern.
It's going to be rad.
It's a lot of fun. It's exclusive
opportunity for you to leave us voicemails.
There's no other platform you can do that for us.
So download the app and check
out the well red podcast on there.
Yeah, boy.
We'll see y'all next time.
They're the
liberal red next day like
cornbread but sex they care
way too much, but don't give a
fun. Next at
makes some people upset
but they got three big old
dicks that you can sun.
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