wellRED podcast - #217 - Trae is Fat, Corey Farted, Drew Can't Travel

Episode Date: April 21, 2021

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And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can sun. You feel terrible. You don't look great, honestly. Your eyes. You're like pale and red. Yeah. So here we are. I know that it's like a running thing on here that I fluctuate weight more than any human being on earth.

But like, sincerely. When I left to go to New Orleans, I weighed 202. Today, after, after I went and jogged and drank a lot of water and shit and showered, after all that, 210. Man. Yeah. I mean, well, that's, you know, that's a New Orleans trip. That's what's, you really did it. That's what I take away from that data.

You really did it. It's really sitting in my face. Like, you can really, I mean, like, it's like that old Burbby. it when it's like every picture I take, I look like I'm 10 feet in front of everybody else. Like, when did you get back? Last night at like 10.

Y'all drove down and drove back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I threw my back out. And I couldn't get out of bed this morning. And the only way like I could fix it, I had,

I just went like I was so hunched over and I just, I went and did a fucking wind sprints up a hill just to like crack my back back in place. What? I know. Yeah. He's still like, it did it. You both are and are not classic Joe, like your proto-cho and anti-cho all at once. Well, the thing is is that story right here, because a lot of it is like, you know, eight pounds and two days.

That's very show. I don't know what else to do. So I just start doing wind sprints up a hill. Well, because it was back, not even the weight. Well, no, well, I mean, the thing is, is like, my back was, I threw it out. I couldn't hardly get out of bed, but because I had gained that fucking weight, I was like, I have, I can't not get back on my schedule. Like, I'm, I have to go. And I get out there and dude, I could barely fucking, well, I'm back was so tightened up.

I could barely walk. And the only thing I thought was like, you just got to fucking shake it out. But I think it is still kind of chow to like do whatever it takes, you know, to get back. Because I have, well, I have a bunch of shit I have to do today. And I, like, I was so in so much pain that I wasn't going to be able to do anything. And by the way, doing wind sprints and doing 10,000 more steps and doing some stairs and taking Tylenol and CBD and a bunch of stuff, my back. It still hurts, but like I'm getting around. If I don't think if I'd have done that, I'd be getting around.

I'm proud of you, but in my mind, no, that ain't Cho. Cho is doing what it takes means call up fucking. Right. Get me some dog pills. Yeah. Actually, you're right. Yeah. But just dogbells start drinking at 10 a.m.

Well, that's got to push through this. That's a thing, though, like, I have sort of recalibrated my brain. And, like, New Orleans really made me realize how much, like, okay, when we go back on the road, there, I can't go back the same way I left. You know what I mean? Like, I can't kill you. No, it with, like, I'm in real bad shape right now. Like, because we went, like, I've, you know, once I got like, you know, I'm putting this in quotes. Once I got sober, sober.

sobered up a little bit and changing my lifestyle. I've boozed since, but it's been very pedestrian at my house on my couch type. I haven't done like wedding drunk in a very fucking long time, which like we, it's not unusual for us to be on the road and just get wedding drunk. And then, but it's not the end of the fucking week.

It's like Thursday. We get wedding. But like, dude, I'm telling you, man, like, I ain't going to be able to look. get married to our audience every night. We do. We do. We commit.

By the way, I tell you that we end up miserable and fat. Me and Amber decided that we're going to get divorced. That's. And then get remarried in New Orleans. Not renew our vows because that's stupid. We're going to get divorced and get remarried in New Orleans. Then you get to go through like the whole, you know, everything.

Actual process. Y'all got to get us more shit. Yeah. Get on me on me all. I ain't doing that. that. That's why I'm trying to again. Yeah, so there you go to New Orleans.

I do wonder. How was it? Was it like music in the streets? There was. No worries or, yeah, tell us about it. There was definitely. So like, it wasn't full bore. Okay.

There was definitely some areas that were like, this ain't even happening. Like this isn't even. But like, so I was very fortunate. The pandemic ain't even happening or nothing was going on. The pandemic hadn't even. happened. You know what I mean? Now, I mean, we, so I was very lucky. We had a group of 15 that were all in the same hotel that we were the only ones in the hotel. It was a small, it was a small hotel anyways. So they just booked it all up so that we could all be in there. And every single

person that was in our group has been vaccinated. Because where we live, like, we, you know, like Walker County, Georgia, we had like a huge fucking surplus. I'm like, the fact that I have it is because we just had fucking too many and we all know a nurse. So like on that front, couldn't have been a better situation. Now, we did go out and eat, but every single time,

and I'll tell you what fucking sucks, but like it just is what it is, you got New Orleans plus social distance equals, dude, I mean, you got to make a reservation for lunch. You know what I'm saying? Like,

it takes, if you want to eat at fucking 12, you better go put your goddamn name in at 9.30. So everything was patio situation for us or, it was like we're the you know there's two tables in the restaurant that are actually active and we get to sit at this one and these people over here so like doing all that stuff do what they were doing all that stuff absolutely absolutely when i say when i say i didn't mean like when i say people were acting like it wasn't happen i kind of just meant people in the streets like you know there were still

groups of people just out drunk whatever but like most businesses it down there was like taking it real serious like hey mask on when you come in we'll sit you on the patio fucking did you You know, so like it was all, like, they're on the up and up or whatever. But like, I mean, you know. Music in the streets? There was definitely, there was no parades, but there was definitely still people like, you know, the equivalent of like, I guess, busking or whatever. And there was all that shit.

There was a lot more like, there was some like outdoor vendors and stuff set up. And like some of the restaurants had like converted to like, you know, they had like all their windows open and they were just serving shit out the windows and shit. So I mean, you know. Beer, you go by. like a man, yeah, exactly. So, I mean, you know, again,

not ideal. I can't wait until it's back to complete normal, if that's a thing that will ever happen. But, I mean, we still got the goddamn New Orleans experience that I won't complain about

just because I was able to get the fucking food that I wanted, which is all I care about. And I mean, as you heard me say, I gained eight pounds. Clearly, I did pretty good in that respect. Did you notice were there concerts, outdoor or otherwise?

I didn't really notice that because we only really went, like out in the streets one day and it was only for a couple hours because we pretty much had like by the time I got there it was like we got this wedding thing which is at the hotel then the wedding's at the hotel and then we're all just going to eat the next day at the hotel because like to us that was just the best way to ensure like all right look we've only got this small men of people we're all fucking safe if we just stay here and do the right thing and have our food brought in like nobody even has to feel bad you know and we had a goddamn mamma with us about oh dude

I made a bunch of mammals trip and fall and almost break their backs. So we were fucking. The mammal that belonged to your group or a different collection of mammals? No, no, no. These were all, every mammal that was with our group, I almost killed him. So we were at the, it was the wedding reception. By the way, me and Robbie didn't go to this reception. It was his.

We didn't go to it. We got too fucked up. And so, and Meg wasn't mad. You know, she's a cool girl. She kind of planned for this. She's like, I know Robbie's going to be. drinking all day, so we'll try to have it early so he can make it. Well, he didn't make it. And she was like, I need you to take care of him. So what did I do? I took him up to his room

with a bottle of whiskey and we listened to fucking DMX for an hour and then we passed out. But before that, we were down there and at the reception, I was, me and my buddy, Billy, were in charge of the bubble guns, the guns with bubbles in them. And we were like, you know, up in front while music was going, we were just fucking blasting people with bubble guns and shit like that. Well, we had the bubble guns going. And then, it starts raining and I didn't realize what was happening but I'm blasting all you're outside there's an outside wedding and you got bubble guns yeah set the scene for us the question on no one's mind how you got that job for sure he's the obvious choice right that's what I was right he's like

bubble gun man got some questions about billy but I trust him just the man for the job yeah yeah well so anyway we're outside we're outside and is this like a hotel courtyard yeah hotel courtyard hotel courtyard so it starts it's been raining all weekend it starts raining it starts raining again well, I get fucking blackout drunk, me and Robbie do. So I end up passing out. I wake up the next morning at 7.30. And they kept telling us all these goddamn stories like, oh, yeah, you know, a couple people from the wedding went out last night.

And Sidney started talking shit to these girls at a bar. And then this girl at the bar swung her fucking purse at Meg's little brother, got him on the fucking head. She had like a fucking snow globe or some shit. She stole in her purse. This motherfucker had to go to the goddamn hospital. When the ambulance came there, they thought he'd been shot. He was bleeding so much.

they had to staple us fucking head up. But before that, I'm asleep during all this. New Orleans! Yeah, but before that, yeah, we were there and I'm fucking bubble gunning it up, but apparently like the bubbles aren't really fucking coming out so much, right? And I'll get to that in a minute. But the next, so I wake up and there and I'm like, so, okay,

I'm so sorry that me and Robbie got so drunk that we didn't even go to the reception at his own wedding. They're like, look, we kind of figured that that would happen. Nobody's mad at you. And I was like, okay. I was like, so did anything else happen? Then they tell me about homie getting his head. had busted open and having to go to the hospital.

I was like, well, that fucking sucks, but anything else. And Meg was like, yeah, both of my grandmas fell. And then Lexus, Robbie's sister was like, our grandmals fell too, or grandma and grandpa fell. And I was like, oh, shit. And they're like, our dad fell to. It wasn't just like a grandma thing, like a whole bunch of people fell. And I'm like, what the fuck happened?

And they were like, they go, well, it started raining. And the goddamn dance floor was just so fucking, it was so soapy. It was like so very soapy. and then Meg comes up to me separately. It's that moment of any wedding or party where everyone's got one tiny chunk of the story that everyone pieces together the next day and you start building a narrative.

And I was like, oh man, it's like, we had them, it was like we had them bubble guns, but surely it wasn't that big of a deal. And then Christy comes down and she's like, Cora, do you remember what you did when your bubble gun stopped working? And I go, no. And she goes, well, you grabbed all the bubble guns,

threw them on the ground, stomped them and said, fuck these pieces of shit. And then you went and passed, passed out. So I just stomped soap all over the dance for it started raining and then fucking mammoths slipped and fell everywhere. And pieces of plastic. Oh yeah. It was yeah. It was pretty rough. I was wrong when I said I know what happened. I thought it's so much more Raven and Joey what actually happened. I thought that like you you had briefly mentioned they weren't working

right. And so I thought in my head they were like kind of malfunctioned like spitting out a bubble ever now and then, but mostly just like leaking the bubble fluid out the nozzle, you know, like that version of not working. Yeah. And you were just out there just fucking rambo and them back and forth, like not realizing that they weren't working. Yeah. Just swinging the, slinging the bubble juice all over the place, you know?

Like 50 cents said you're not a marksman when you're sparking. So you spray random at you with bubble dins. That's what I thought. That's what I thought had happened. Yeah. I was going to say I was. going to say like, oh, well, you know, that ain't your fault all in my mammals fail. You know, you're just, you're just doing a very enthusiastic job being the bubble.

It's not your, you know, you had a faulty product. That's all. But no, never mind. It was your fault entirely. I mean, it turns out. Yeah. Yeah, no. I mean, and for the record.

You exploded them all on the dance floor and like bubble pinata's. Pieces of plastic they could fall into. So you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm not listening. I got nothing to say other. than I was black.

I don't even remember doing it. And I definitely didn't think, I bet if I do this, a bunch of mammals will fall, but it still is my fault for sure. It was, man, that's no.

It was, it was third degree tripping a mammall. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't fucking mean it. New Orleans did it. That's what it do. Yeah,

and for the record, I saw all the next day walking around fine. Like, I'm in worse shape than they are. Like, I threw my back out dancing, and I'm fucking 33.

Yeah. But yeah, we had a good time. I ate a fucking shit ton of ed too. I mean, I ate so much. Like it was unbelievable. What was the single hitness thing you put in your mouth down there?

Boot. Is it Boot? Do you say boo Dan or Boone? I say boo Dan. Bo Dan. I'm pretty sure. I know it looks like Boone, but I'm pretty sure it's pronounced.

Well, I've always said, we're not wrong about that. I've always said boo Dane, so I'm certain it's Budan. So I went to this place. I can't, this happens to me every fucking time I'm in New Orleans.

I ate it somewhere that super hits and I have no idea where it was. I can't tell you because I was just like, cool, whatever y'all want. This place had Boudan. Pay with card? I don't know. Probably not. Ambered it, maybe. I'll figure it out.

But it was, they had these appetizers of it was Boudan balls like hush puppies, but filled with explosive Boudan. And also with that was Binyay fries. So it was like this whole fucking, yeah, like it was like New Orleans fusion with New Orleans stuff. You know what I mean? Like they were just do it. It was like their own thing. That was the shit. Also, I had what was known as a crab stack, which was just a bunch of crab patties. That was, it was crab patty, fried green tomato, crab patty, crab patty. And then that was slathered

with etou fe in a, yeah, in like a hitting like a Cajun moco loco style of a thing. Also, I ain't on front. The shrimp and grits. This is like one point. place. He's just walking us through a day. That was Friday. Yeah, the shrimp and grits was amazing. Like,

it was just, it was just your typical, like, dude, New Orleans, like, literally never disappoints, like,

their food, like, and for the record, I may have gotten the, like, if some local was with me, they might be like, you got the worst version

of all these things, and I would be like, well, then shit, like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, it was still amazing.

Like, that city is just such, around, sometimes is what you're in moved for. And so the New Orleans golden corral has got to be flames. That's what I'm saying. Like it was just all so fucking I had an oyster poboy that was unbelievable. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Like I, it's killing me, dog. Well, no, I'm sitting here saying all this out loud. I'm like, yeah, eight pounds. That checks out because I also was hammered the whole time.

Just so fucking drunk on there and like drinking beer or liquor. Both. That was a mistake. I haven't drank liquor in a very long time. I was drinking so much fucking liquor. and I was doing that. Like them hang grenades and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Like when we went down to, oh, I was like. I can't fuck with them. I know.

They call them a hang grenade because they blow up your marriage. Yeah, there had this one that was in a container shaped like a big ass fucking chicken, you know. And so, and it was one of those things that would be like, how stupid it would be if I bought this? How stupid it would be if I drank this whole thing? How stupid it would be if I got two of them? You know what I mean? And, yeah, man, like, it would be stupid.

You don't ask. It'll all be fucking, just drank it. God damn. But see, the thing about you, though, you still got that Cho blood. Yeah. And the heart, the swollen heart of a Cho as well. Because, like, if I, I also have been, you know,

living much better recently. And I know for a fact, I know for a fact if I went to New Orleans. And I was drinking hand grenades or whatever, I would be back at the hotel. passed out by 2 p.m. Like for probably the entire rest of the day.

I would not be able to do that and continue on living that day. I wouldn't be able to do it because I would try to go hard like I used to go. I know I would and I know also that I don't have that tolerance anymore and I couldn't do it and it would end very badly. But I bet

you know, you soldiered, you did all that and yes, got hammered and everything, but you kept hitting though, I'm assuming. Even with the energy though of the city, you don't think it would give you some extra oomph? Because I find that for me, Denver, New Orleans, and Austin, I just have two more gears. I, uh, I have two more beers.

Yeah, you're right, but I still would, I wouldn't make it too far. I know. I hate to disappoint you. So three, so two. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but that I'm pretty sure was Friday. And all of that did take place by about 2 p.m. And we had the rehearsal dinner that night. And I definitely did all that and stopped.

And then didn't dream. drink at even at all at the rehearsal dinner like just ate during that and then the rehearsal dinner party and stuff was over at like nine I went straight to sleep and then because and my reasoning was I was realizing like I definitely think that I could have soldiered through but I was like I saw Meg who is Rob's now wife who is one of my best friends also and I was just thinking I was like I can go hard tonight but if I go hard tonight there's a good chance I'm going to be a miserable sack of shit tomorrow for the wedding and that's not like I don't need to do that like it's dude no one gives a fuck if you took the rehearsal dinner off you know what I mean no one gives a shit about

that but like tomorrow if she needs something I'm going to need to be helper which again we ended up getting blackout even before the wedding but I wouldn't have had the energy to get I wouldn't have had the energy to get my best friend blackout drunk so that he missed his own reception had I not taken off the rehearsal dinner you know what I'm saying on that note I've been thinking thinking rehearsal dinner the whole time in my mind. Robbie did not make it to his own post-wedding party. Accurate. Yeah.

Accurate. Post-wedding part. By that, do you mean the reception? Because Joe said he didn't go to the reception. They were saying, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've been thinking for whatever reason rehearsal dinner the whole time, and I'm now processing. He was fine at the rehearsal dinner.

I'm now processing. He didn't do the first dance or any of that. No, he, so here's what happened. I'm going to say the reception is generally, like, considered a pretty big part. That's the thing. No, that's the thing. We got,

we got too drunk before the part where everyone gets drunk. Yeah, right. For me, the reception is like, that's the part. It's the part. It actually hits.

Well, now, here's a thing. The wedding part don't hit for anybody, really. The reception is the part. Right. But we were just hitting all day.

Like, we were, they allowed us to hit all day. And so here's how their wedding was. It was a wedding. And then right as soon as they said, I do, we all the people that were wedding party,

walk back down the aisle. and then there was a band that played tubas and shit and we had a mini it was awesome and they led us around the hotel in a mini parade and i'm just fucking chowing out we're having it so did people jump in oh yeah well i mean people nobody not from the wedding it was pretty cool because the no i mean that hit i don't fuck people we don't know they don't hit and so that all that all happened and then that went right into robbie and meg did their first dance and then they were going to reset for the reception and Meg had told, I was like, I can't believe you did that. That was so fucking smart. And she goes, we made sure, she goes, I made sure that we did a first dance and all that stuff right after because I fucking knew that Robbie was going to be torched. And we could just do that. He danced with his mom.

And then they set up for the reception and then Robbie had to leave. So he actually got all the important stuff that he needed to do done. And then, dude, I know that like a lot of people out there are like, no, Meg's actually mad. she's just not telling y'all she's not she's fucking like she knew she's like this is what robbie does he because he robbie drinks a lot anyways but he also is a super like when something big is happening his nerves take over and he like goes a little bit too hard she's like i knew he was going to do all that so i set it up to where like we'll get all the important stuff done and then if robbie misses the

reception who fucking gives a shit like it's his wedding too he should be able to do everything wants. So she was so excited. Like me and him just went up to our room and put on fucking DMX, drank a bottle of peanut butter whiskey and passed out. It was perfect. I mean, I know. I ain't right with that.

Hell yeah. That rules. What did you do Sunday? We went to eight and then I drove home in more pain than I've ever physically been in in my life. How long? That is a rough drive. About seven hours.

Yeah, about seven hours. And again, I'm talking, I thought that my back was broken. Damn. It hurt so bad. I thought it was broken. So it was a bad trip. And, you know, I kept go, I stopped at, I had one of them hangovers that is the, you know,

there's two hangovers. There's the, I can't eat anything or I have to eat everything. Everything. Well, I stopped at about five drive thurs on the way home and just went and had it. I'm not kidding. Yesterday I had 4,000 calories. Easy. Dude.

I don't understand that because I do that same. thing and I never understand it, meaning like, it seems like after a trip where I've gone particularly hard. And like you said, you know, we've had a million wedding trips where no one got married. It was just us doing shows, right? So many of those times, after particularly, you know, I went ham weekend. I'm flying home on Monday or whatever. And I feel fucking terrible.

I mean, I feel terrible because I've just gone so hard. And that includes with food. I have. Stullied myself with it's always food with you Yeah Yes it is Okay all right No don't you fucking sit there and that

Hold on it is when is it not No no hold on Fuck it hold on Are you really about saying beside me with it? You always make fun of me how much I don't eat Because sometimes I just drink You can't have it both ways Trey You can be like you don't hurt

You're very mad at him Look at him But you do believe he's doing this I do run Thank you I do run Not enough It's both with you.

Yeah. Anyway. Oh, yeah, no, because you don't fucking drink. During that, you're sober as a goddamn judge. You're just eating. No, I do the damn thing. That's what I'm saying. Shut the fuck up.

I'm just saying like, but I drink more than you and you eat more than me. So it fucking balances out. On Monday, on the way home, I feel terrible. And I have just sullied myself with every type of empty calorie on earth that whole weekend. And yet, I can't stop eating that. day either. And I don't, it's always, for me, it's always that final day, like, when that happens. Because usually I'm a, I can't eat anything hangover, dude.

Like the previous three days, wherever, whatever city we've been in, I won't eat until like 2 or 3 p.m. because I do. Maybe that's why. And then on the last day, the final day, I'm way home. I can't stop eating. Wherever I got a layover, I run into a damn five guys or whatever. You know, I ate on the plane. I ate everywhere I'm at the whole time.

But maybe the three days of not eating because of a hangover made your body go like, I need fucking grease for the hangover and vitamins to make up for the weekend. Right. Sustinance. We're talking about sustenance, boys. I ain't getting vitamins or shit from this stuff, though. Yeah, because sometimes. Burgers and things that hit, you know.

Got vitamin meat in it. Yeah. I had a, for lunch today, I had a, like, grilled chicken, you know, salad with, like, spinach and all that stuff with, like, a nice vinaigrette and some tomato and stuff. And I scarfed it down like I was fucking chugging a Gatorade after a marathon. Like, that's how my body, like, went and just like, vegetables and grilled meat. Like, it was, it was pretty insane.

But, yeah, like, at the airport, I'm not going like, oh, man, I need to beat juice. I'm just like fucking ante. Because my brain goes, well, you can't, there's no way you're going to get it together today. You know, so you may as well have anti-ans. You already feel like shit. It's kind of like how when Amber gets really super pissed at me about something, I'll then bring up something I've been kind of holding back on because I'm like, she can't get too much more pissed.

I may as well go ahead and get this shit over. Like, why let her forgive me and then have to have this conversation in three days. and have her get remad. Why not just stack the mad on top of each other? So if I'm already fucking hung over, I'm like, get the fucking hot dog pretzel. You know what I mean? Does that not make sense?

Yeah, but I would like to revisit. So at any given time, you've got like something that you're like, this will not hit for Amber. When this comes to light or whatever, when this gets brought up. And you're saying that when you're already not hitting for Amber, you'll be like,

like now's the time. Double coupon. Stack them up. Yep. Because, dude, I'm serious. Does that like, what effect does I have on her? If she's mad at you over some completely separate thing,

and then you bring up out of the blue some other shit you did that don't hit for her. Well, she's not going to, how does that like confuse her or she's like, yes, it does. And that's why it's awesome. Like,

it's like a haymack. So like she, because she doesn't compartmentalize the mad. She just is mad. And now she's mad at another thing, but she doesn't like scream at me about the one thing and then stop screaming about that and then go, all right, now let's talk about this. She just gets fucking mad at both things and then she gets over both things at the same time.

You know what I mean? Like three days later, we'll be fine. Whereas if we had got, she'd gotten pissed at me about one thing. And then three days later, I had to finally be like, okay. And also, I threw up on your wedding dress. You know what I mean? Like now remad, that's, I didn't do that. that, but you know what I'm saying?

Like, if I've got something in the tank that I know I'm going to have to bring up to her, yeah, I just wait until she's already stark raven pissed off at me about something and just double coupon on it. That's an interesting tactic because I feel like some people might say, you know, isn't an option to not ever bring up unnecessarily? Oh, I do. Yeah, I do that all the time too. miss her off. But do you know what I mean? Like, I do get what you're saying. It's stuff she's going to

find out about anyways. Okay. You're taking that for granted. Like, that's a given for you. Like, she will at some point find this out. Yeah. Like I bought something stupid or something like, yeah, you know what I mean? Like, no, but dude, yeah, there's, buddy, there's plenty of secrets that I haven't told her. I'm, I'm, I fucking lied to her all the time. I'm just saying, like, if it's something that's like going to show up on the credit card statement, I'm like, well, why fucking wait till Monday? Like, she's already mad at me for the shit I just did, like, stack it up and then get over, get it over with quicker. You know what I mean?

Yeah. But yeah, like, no, of course, there's plenty of shit that like, just like, don't never need to be excited. No, of course not. Dude, sometimes I'll just get, I'll wait until she gets drunk and blame her for that. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. That hits.

That does hit. We guys like the shit out of each other, both of us. I'll, I'll realize. when she's doing it to me and I'll let it go because I'm like I'm doing it to you too so like this cancels out yeah I am. Corey has this thing you know how like if you do a thing that it's cute when kids do it it's not cute that adults do it. Some comic had a bit about that like shitting yourself and you're a kid it's cute and

the ogre's got this reverse where if a teenager does to their parent what Corey just did that's like super fucking annoying but there's something charming about it happening in a marriage childlike behavior coming from a 33-year-old man-child or something charming about that. Whereas if your teenager was doing that, like, well, you're already mad. Let me tell you what else I did. Yeah, well, I mean, I think it's just you have to, because you know Amber. You know what I mean? Like Amber's awesome.

Don't get me wrong. But y'all know it's not like I'm doing it to this fucking sweetest saccharine little, like she can hold her own. You know what I mean? Like she fucking gives it right back to me. Yeah. I just yelled to see if Katie was in the other half. So you could say something? Yeah,

but I'm saying it on a public forum. Also, she knows this. Yeah, because she'll definitely hear it on this. I know, but well, someone,

page or somebody could potentially bring it up, but it's not some huge secret anyway, but like Katie is like, Katie A never listens to a word did I say because I'm a fucking idiot and I don't hit for her, right? So like, why would she listen to the things that I'm saying?

Right. And B, she's very, she's like very absent, minded and scatterbrained. I mean, she has ADHD, like legitimately. And so she's kind of all over the place mentally and stuff. So my point is she genuinely does, like, forget or fail to store in her memory so much shit, right?

Yeah. And she knows she does that. And that's annoying for me a lot of times. But the only part about that, the hits, though, is that when I do forget to tell her some shit, that I'm, you know, I'll be gone Friday night or whatever. whatever it is. And I really do forget to tell her when she's like, you couldn't have told me this. I'll just be like, I did tell you.

I totally told you this. You know, you don't ever listen to me. You don't remember nothing. And like, you know, I'm gaslighting her is what I'm saying. I gaslight my wife with this stuff. And she never really doubts it because she knows that she do be like that. But of course, that also backfires because the inverse still happens all the time. Yeah.

Like, I really did tell her about it. And she really doesn't remember it. And she doesn't believe. She won't believe me when I did tell. her, but then like a lot of times she will believe it when I actually didn't tell her. This is the exact balance itself out in my opinion. Do you have to get mad at her when you didn't tell her? So you're allowed to get mad at her when you did tell her to keep up?

I don't remember. I know what you're saying. I don't. Like sometimes it's annoying that she causes you stress. That's what like sparks is. Okay, but I know of instances where you've been. I'm almost like defending myself. Right.

But I know of instances where you've. been stressed, rightly so, because she forgot about something and she don't have the car there and you need it. Or you got to watch the kids. Oh yeah, shit like that too. She does that type of thing all the time. Okay. So then like do you, as part of the gas lighting, do you have to like be annoyed when you know your line so that, you know, so she can't be like, well, you know, Tray. You know, last week I did this too. And it's like, fuck, you didn't do it last week. I just said you did. Yeah. I mean, you know, I'll go. So it's like, Katie, come on. We talked about this. you know, whatever.

That's about the extent of it, you know what I mean? That's the exact same situation that me and Amber both gaslight each other in. Like, it's never anything insane, but it's definitely both. Like, I know sometimes that she, she's like, I told you about this. And I know, I'll know in my mind. I'm like, I've been fucking sober all week this week. No, she didn't. But I do this to her all the time, so I'm going to give it to her.

Like, I'm just going to be like, oh, you're right. Sorry. You know what I mean? And so I think sometimes she does the same thing. thing that, like, I'll be doing it to her, and I swear I can see it in her eyes where she's like, no, you're not, but I did the same shit to you. So, all right. We could just fucking, I guess really, we could both just be honest with each other instead

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So phils.com slash well-read. Do it to it. And now, you know, how about we get back to the podcast? Skew. Oh, hello. I didn't notice you there because I've been sleeping in my Helix, Lux, Midnight Edition, king size bed. Now look, if you're out there and you're like us, growing up, I slip on anything, pass out on the couch. Then when I finally got a little bit of money, I was like, let me try to get

some mattress, but I kept trying to just find what was popular or get what somebody else told me to get. Then we got with Helix. Helix makes it easy for you to get a mattress for you, because there's a quiz. It takes two minutes. I did their quiz. I felt out all their questions. They were very simple, and they sent me a mattress just for me. And I have been sleeping. like a dream ever since. This is the dopest mattress I've ever had. I'm going to invite Corey and Trey over. We're going to have a sleepover just so they can sleep on it. I feel kind of bad that I hogged the free one. Maybe they're going to get them ones themselves. Guys, I'm telling you, these Helix mattresses are rad. So if you go to helix.com forward slash well read right now, you'll do the two

minute quiz and you'll get $200 off your mattress plus two pillows. They're affordable. They're comfortable, they ship it right to your door. I'm a fan. And I'm sleepy, so I'm gonna go. You're talking about Fast and Furious, I'm assuming, because like we were saying that, I don't know. I actually don't watch those movies, but we're family.

Moments in those that aren't actually joke. They're very self-aware, they know what they're doing, but at the same time they're not jokes. They're like super badass shit. Yeah, and we're like, we're family. Right, yeah. Yeah, well, I, feel like big ass monkey movies have that type of stuff too like for example like in kong skull

island you know where samuel l jackson has a staring contest with king kong oh great exploding helicopters right and sam you know samuel jackson he called as fuck and he just i mean just icing this monkey and the monkey's looking back at him between these the monkey has slammed two helicopters in the ground and they are exploding in between them and like that that's not a joke right It is funny. It is funny in that exact same type of way to me. Like I look that and I'm like, I agree.

That shit. Hits. I love that type of shit. Also, when he, when Homeboy gets, when Homeboy gets whipped across into the mountain by the tail of the thing, I don't know that they meant for that to be the funniest thing I've ever seen,

but I laughed real fucking hard at it. Yeah. When Kong put his shoulder back in place is the only time I'm going to. Yes, right. You're talking about the new one? Yeah, I haven't seen it yet. I'm going to watch it tonight, maybe. So my news, not as fun as Corey, is kind of the opposite.

Not going to Mexico. We are going to go to New Orleans. So that's part of why I was asking you so many questions. I want to know what the deal is. But it was very stressful for me and very raven. I don't blame her. She's completely right. But it just was like, well, we already ordered these tickets.

Now you're bringing this up. But I don't know. Andy was just like, you know, we can get stuck. there because they won't let you back in the country if you fail a test. And I was like, we're not going to fail a test. She's like, even if you got the Vax, you can fail the test. And I was like, okay, well, all right. Fuck.

Yeah, that would call Delta. Fucking suck. There's no way. There's no way I would take that risk. No. I don't care how minuscule of a risk that is. I don't know any of that because I haven't even thought about going abroad. But the moment someone said that to me, I'd be like, well, fuck all that then because

it ain't a mother fucking way. I'm rolling those dice. She was 100% right. Listen to this. I didn't get to go to Mexico and Andy was right. What a shitty day. Yeah. That fucking really so.

But what you said is also valid where it's like she could have brought that up earlier. Prior to making all the plans and stuff. Yeah. I don't think she knew the show move was she didn't look. The show move was, do you want to go to Mexico? Yeah. Have you thought about this? Are you sure?

Yeah. Two days later. So I've been looking into it since you got the. those tickets now. That's fine. She didn't know before, but she also didn't know before because of the Cho moves. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And also, hey, a little bit different situation is that by the time you go to New Orleans, like next week, you say? Yeah, I leave Wednesday. Okay. Well, it won't be too different by then, but I was going to say, like, as of recording this today, is like the first day that every American citizen is eligible for the vaccine.

So now again, the vaccine takes two weeks and two weeks. So like it won't be entirely different. But I do think that like from in the next couple weeks, we might start seeing some changes is all I'm saying. Yeah, well, I'm going to hang out with my friend Russell. And I'm going to eat food. And we might go to a Pelicans game. They're playing curry and the Warriors.

They're going to get the shit kicked out of them. So that'll be fun to watch. Maybe not. I mean, the Warriors have been struggling. Yeah. I don't know shit about basketball. I just said that. At what point do they start taking things back to normal?

You know, I'm assuming it's based on actual data, like cases and deaths. It depends on the state. Yeah, for sure. Because, again, I'm with you. I don't know if you've been to Florida, but apparently I saw earlier over half of U.S. adults have had at least one shot. And like you said, it only just now opened up to everybody. I've, my experience living in Southern California, like me and Katie each independently I've gotten on the like websites where you're supposed to like try to schedule an appointment or whatnot and that they're just not hitting I'm assuming they're overloaded with people all doing the same thing and I just ain't had no luck with it it ain't been fucking working right but I mean I'm sure it'll pretty soon it'll it'll be fine but like if I have half of adults have already gotten at least one shot and today is the first day that everyone everyone is eligible to get shots then truly to God relatively.

soon. It won't be long, yeah. Because at a certain point, like, it has to have that effect, right? It had because, like, otherwise, what even are we doing? Like, yeah, right. So, like, there has to be some point where enough people have been vaccinated and whatever else where they're just like, all right, let's go. Yeah.

Everything's back on because, I mean, what else we're supposed to? What else can we do at this point? I agree. Do you mean back open or do you mean no social distancing and all that stuff? I mean, the reason I ask is like it kind of is already back on. It's just a matter of what you're willing to do. Right. We could, for example, we could do a show in New Orleans right now.

It would just have to be social distance and I don't know if people would show up. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess you can't like know what's going through people's brains. But I will say this, take it for what it's worth. I fucking, you know, posted a, I posted a picture of me out in New Orleans. Not like, you know, breathing on somebody's fucking neck or nothing like that.

But I didn't get any, no insane person in my comments. Like, are you fucking serious right now? You're da-da-da-da-da. And like, I love our fans, but we know who they are. Like if anybody was going to tell you how they feel. That's what I'm saying. I meant, yes, I'm in. They're going to tell me how they feel.

And I didn't get none of that. So, like, I do think we're at least to a point where most people are like, All right. Well, for the record, my question wasn't rhetorical. Is that what you meant, Trey? Or did you mean like, you know, completely or not completely normal, but packed houses and stuff? No, I mean, I mean, I mean, that. I mean, like, at what point do we get back to like fucking normal, normal, normal?

Normal, normal? As close as possible. I mean, I think, I think in the summer, normal, normal, but it'll never be completely normal again or it won't for a long time. Right. We'll all like every, no one's going to be able to go to their life and not at least think about it. I think we'll be wearing masks for five years, dude. I think we'll be getting shots every year for this fucking thing because there's

going to be new variations of it. I think we're always going to have to deal with shit. If you go abroad, you're going to have to do tests. I think all that's in. But if you just mean like you can go to a bar and they're not saying, make sure you sit here and make sure you sit there, I think in the summer.

Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, whenever I travel, like airport-wise, I'm going to kind of just keep

most of this shit. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm probably going to be wearing a mask at the airports just because, well, I like it. You don't feel safe. Yeah, well, and also, I just really, I dig sort of the anonymity

of, like, people can't see your face. That hits for me. I can, like, mean mug motherfuckers and them not know. I feel like I can fart more. And if you can't see it, like, you can't see me being like, you might not.

not know. You know what I mean? Fart more. I've definitely farted more since mask have been a thing. I mean, because we've discussed before how there's almost no lineup of people that you can put Corey in to where he won't be the one that most people point to when you ask, who among them farted? So this is what the, uh, who was it?

They're going to look at him. Yeah. You know, we've talked about this at length. Corey is the answer. I think they call that canon. Right. Yes. That's canon.

So how much do you think a mask impacts that? Well, I need to see my boy in real life and see how much weight he's lost. I have to say, Corey, and this is not meant to be an insult. It's just a reality of you're going to have to accept this about your choices. I saw what you wore to Robbie's rehearsal dinner. Yeah. And if you're wearing that, everyone's going to think you farted. What did he wear to

lose 100 more pounds? What did he wear in Robbie's rehearsal? A safari type cowboy hat Look good and a pink That was for the wedding. Suit jacket? Am I saying right? Yeah, yeah.

He looked good. Yeah, yeah. But he definitely looked like he farted. Yeah, I tell you some of my favorite comments on Twitter, someone said, someone said, they said, you look like you host a murder mystery theater

on a cruise ship. Yeah. And then someone said, you look like you sell ice cream to dogs. Somebody tag me in it and it didn't hit for me because they were talking about you saying I don't hit at the Masters. It was some joke about that.

And so I just moved on. But that's when I saw it and I thought you look like if Joe, well, I'm fucking my own joke up. But you look like, God damn, I can't remember his name. The Tiger guy. The Joe Exotic. Oh yeah. You look like Joe Exotic's lawyer.

slash boyfriend is what I thought. You're like the reason he went to prison. Yeah, you got there. Yeah, no, that guy definitely farted for sure. Well, I don't know. I think so. Yeah, for sure. Also, I mean, does your mask say I farted?

You know what? That'll actually help, I think. Because the no one that said, like, if he who smelled it dealt it, that's the opposite. You know what I mean? That's throwing them off the trail. Like, if you smell a fart and then you turn around. and someone has a mask on that says, I farted, you're going to be like, now, you're going to be like,

I bet it was. I'm glad you got there at the end because I was sitting here thinking, like, I don't know about this there, but like, I pictured every dude I've ever seen wearing an eye farted t-shirt, and I looked at him and I was like, he farted. Like, I didn't smell a fart right now, but he definitely farted. I believe the hood farted ones. Right.

I'm like, you, what mask? What mask can I wear that it's like, I didn't fart. Like, is there one? I think you got to wear a Patagonia hat. A what hat? A Patagonia hat, like a Patagonia hat, like those real white boy hats. Yeah.

Those motherfuckers always seem like they fart to me because those people that wear Patagonia people, those crunchy ass motherfuckers, like they. They farted. They farted. Like, they, they. Andy, they farted. Andy, the finest person I've ever known. They eat granola.

and fucking like, you know, butternut squash wraps. That shit makes you fart so much. Like, I shit, you know. But like, they fart. Believe that. Do you want the masses to believe you didn't fart? Or do you want smart?

Because, like, buddy, yeah, you know those people fart, but most people don't think Patagonia Pete farted. I think maybe. They think you and your pink jacket did. I think we had this conversation before, too, and we're talking about how Corey's always the one who farted. He got on this grand injustice about how really it's those people that fart. Because remember we were talking about Corey's people forming like a coalition and going and protesting and stuff with signs like, it wasn't us. It wasn't us.

All that shit. I feel like this is how that got brought up. Yeah, I agree. But I mean, Corey also farts. I do fart. But I don't fart in public a lot. I try to keep that shit in. Like, if I'm at the airport and I got to fart, my point is, if I'm at the airport.

the airport and I got a fart, there is a 90% chance, and I know this, that there's a shit behind it. And I take that very serious, and I just go to the bathroom and fart to make sure that I don't also shit myself. And so often I do, again, like, I'm not going to sit here and try to make people believe that I'm sort of healthy and also decent human being who would never fart in public, like that that's not possible that I'd do it. I'm just saying, I get embarrassed easily easily like you wouldn't think that I do. Drew fucking farts. He does.

I was like to just thinking about. You were there. Yes, you do. This is usually the context how this gets brought up. And I'm just picturing us three in an elevator with like some ladies. He farts and leaves. Drew releases his noxious stank from his butt that he has.

And I'm just picturing these ladies turn around and looking at the three of us and just settling on you. And you just start looking down. knowing it wasn't you. Yeah, and I don't want you to wear a Patagonia hat. I'm saying if you had one on in that circumstance and your shirt wasn't, you know, a fucking Portland Trailblazers jersey with your sleeves out and you didn't have on lime green sneakers,

you could get away with it. Do I look like I farted right now? So I fart. Do I look right now like I farted? Yeah, it's different thing. Coors hat's kind of farty. Yeah. It's like a bacon.

It's like frat fart, you know what I mean? Yeah, they fart. They do. They all fart. Farts, you know. No, but like, I'm, yeah, everybody fart. I'm really intrigued by the question of how much a mask impacts your just farted mistake.

My thing is, like, I think you need to see the people's face, like the way, like their body language. And that takes a lot of it. I don't know. It just takes a lot of it away. I'm agreeing with you that on, we'll call it the four. or fart scale. Yeah. If you're at a 10 and you put a mask on,

it drops you down a point or two. But I'm also arguing that the pink jacket, and size 12 lime green sneakers are part of it. Sure, but I'm not going to be, I don't wear that to the airport. I wear jogging pants in a football jersey. Yes, right. Well, you can't.

Now that you say it out loud, but when I have the mask on you, can't tell how big my fucking face is, like as much. It's got to help. I'm with you that it's got a help. It's got covering this up. Bro. Good move.

Yeah, I don't know, man. Like, I just, and I have. A Safari. That was the fucking joke I couldn't remember. You looked like you had on a safari hat. If you wear that safari hat, everyone's going to think you farted. I think it was the angle I had it at because it's definitely not. It's a hat I wore in my wedding, which, well, it's kind of more of a safari cowboy hat for sure.

It's like a hybrid. But, yeah, I don't know. So during the pandemic, I've lost 38. pounds except for no, I fucking haven't because I just gained eight of it back. So 30's still good. That's a round number. Yeah, but God, I got so fucking fat before. That's the thing that's so disheartening is like, I've lost 38 pounds or had and still look

at myself in the mirror and go, objectively, you look like a piece of shit. Buddy. Let's probably body dysmorphia. It's body dysmorphia, but I've also tried to be, I've really, I've gotten in a better place and I've tried to be proud of myself and just can't. I hear you. At all or physically? I hear you.

I know at all. I definitely am proud of myself. But physically, I'm like, I still look at it and go like, man, 38 pounds, no matter how fucking fat you are is no bullshit. But I look at myself and I go, God damn. Like all that, right, all the shit you went through to get to here is what you're right? Why didn't you just gain 38 pounds? It would have been better for you. Like, what the fuck is your, and I know, Trey, you've been saying it.

But, well, no, I'm fully agree. with you right now because I've went through the same process at the same time as you. I'm like literally like and I don't want to spend any time talking about this because I don't like I don't like I don't want to be them types of dudes. But like for the past over a month, six weeks now for the past months and months I have worked out a lot. But for the past like six weeks, I've worked out an hour and a half a day every day a week. No days off for a month and a half at least. And before that it was like six days. a week. Like it just now it's seven days a week. And it's been like that for months. And I've lost a

shitload of what I've lost I've lost 45 going on 50 pounds since the pandemic. And I still like you said, I look in the mirror and I'm like this this ain't it. Are you kidding me? It's I'm like I'm like, like you said, like I've been doing all that fucking shit for so long just to look like this. You look better. What kind of fucking horse? You don't look better. Of course. Sure.

But we still don't hit, though. Right. But we don't hit. I don't think, you know, I've done very little of that. But I have been eating better and like keeping everything to 2000. And my belly ain't changed at all. Like, if I work out, I can get buff. I've done it before.

I can do it again. But that belly just ain't going away. It just won't. It just ain't doing it. It's just here. Well, that's the exact same problem I have is that ring of not hitting fat around. my midsection. Yours is just like right in the middle, but mine goes all the way around my midsection. That is much smaller than it was a year ago, but it just will not leave. Everything

else, honestly, is pretty fine. We all know what mine is. That part, it just won't, I can't, I can't do nothing with it. That's okay. It ain't okay. It's not okay, because it should be scientifically impossible, in my opinion, because I've been counting calories too that whole time. I've been counting calories. Do you hate the way you look? look or do you hate that you've lost? Oh, me? It's both. Talking to trace.

It's a little bit both. Because you just said this should be scientifically. You're like frustrated by the math problem not working. Yeah. Yeah. Literally it shouldn't. Everything you ever reads like this is how it works. I'm like, it must fucking not be how it works.

Because I'm following all the goddamn rules. Let me. And the shit still ain't happening. Explain that to me. The earth, you know. Scientists. Let me put it out there for you. right now.

Fucking horse shit. Let me put it out there for you right now so you understand. So everybody listening and understands. I am mentally in one of the best places I've ever been in my life. I have changed a lot of things about myself. I'm overall a more positive person. And honestly, to me, I couldn't be happier. Yet every single day when I walk by any mirror, I think.

there's the biggest piece of shit that has ever fucking walked this earth. And again, I consider myself good right now. And I'm like, fuck that guy. He's horrible. I will feel. Or he just looks horrible. Looks horrible. I'm a great fucking dude.

I will feel. It's funny how you get it completely opposite. I will feel physically like if there's not a mirror around, you know. Yeah. I will feel physically like, yeah, all right. I am starting to hit, actually. I'm kind of hitting. And then mirror shows up and it's like, oh, God damn it.

By the way, I don't hit. By the way, I'm talking like shirt off and stuff. I don't even need a mirror. I have teared up. You just look down. No, I'm teared up. I've teared up looking at a shadow of myself. I've been like, oh, my fucking God.

Like just, oh, yeah, dude, I fucking absolutely hate myself. And I definitely, I mean, I said I'm in a good place. I meant like overall, right today I'm in a horrible place because I was in New Orleans for four days. So like I know tomorrow will be better, but like for right now, who. I was going to ask about that. Yeah, it's a lot of that. I'm not looking forward to that. I'm definitely going to get drunk all week and the mental part of it, you mean?

Yeah, it's rough. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah, Devoid is brutal. Yeah. I've been anxious, but I ain't had the void. No, that ain't true. That's the other thing.

Okay, here's my version of what you are talking about. I ain't been drinking. It's still the void. I've been eating right. It's still the void. Oh, yeah. I'm doing honest. I might as well get fucked up.

If the void is going to be here in my house, me and he is getting drunk together. I agree with that. I agree. He won't leave. Yeah. I will say, though, here's the thing about that. I don't feel like sharing all of it. But the truth is, I think everybody's waffling between wanting to kill themselves

and trying to work on themselves during the pandemic. For sure. I've been trying to work on myself. And I've been trying to really. really think about like why I've been so angry. And I knew it was just a mask for sadness. But I wasn't ready for how sad it was going to be when I said, fuck that. I'm just going to let go of the anger. I'm really going to let that go. And I don't want to talk about it yet. But I was surprised by some of the sadness, the depth and the layers to it. I was like,

okay, that one I expected. These other three, all right, didn't know we were sad about that, been masking it for years with adrenaline addictive anger. And now I don't want to deal with. Yeah, waffling between is definitely how I described how the pandemic has been going for me. A lot of literal waffles on your end, I would imagine. Yeah, for sure. I feel like you haven't been eating waffles. I haven't, but I did some this weekend. I ate like, you know, fish waffles or whatever they are, corncakes, fish waffles.

They fucking, you know, they have corn cakes that they put crap on that are like pancakes. And the ones, they make these like corn cakes that are kind of like pancakes, but they're made out of corn stuff and they put crab on them. That's a fish waffle. Okay. Yeah, no, I got to get my shit back together, dude. Like, again, I'm pretty proud of myself. I still got up today and did wind sprints with a fucking, you know, my back thrown out and shit. It's like, I'm getting there, but I cannot, the going in part.

Oh, my God. And you know what the fuck that thing is? Tell me about it. When I go out there and I do like a big fucking workout, I'm just hungrier and I want to go in even harder. But see, that right, that's what, that's sort of to expand to what I was saying earlier. That's where my head's been at lately because like for me, it's like I do still go in. I absolutely still go in. But I also do count calories.

The way that I go about it, I'm not saying this is a hitting way to go about it. It just works for me because I've never fucked with breakfast really. Typically, by the time I get that, by the time I skip breakfast entirely, but I eat a very light lunch. I could 250 calorie, like packet of tuna lunch usually. By the time I get to dinner, I'm at $2.50,300 calories for the whole day. Gorge, go in hard on myself at dinner time. But that still racks up. That's about 12, 1,300 calories.

That's a lot in one time. It's for me, right? It's for me. But now I'm past dinner and I'm at like 1,500 calories for the whole day. And yes, I will eat something else. but it literally is like some beef jerky or some cuties or some kiwis or apples like shit like that while I'm watching Netflix. And so I end up right around like 2,000 calories, you know, working out riding the bike and lifting weights and shit. 90 minutes a day, I should be burning at least like 25 to 2,700 calories.

So I keep that in track even though I do still go in. So what I've been thinking lately is like, do you telling me, are you really telling me the universe that like I can't even go in that way? Like, even that version of going in, don't, don't work. Like, I'm going to have to literally just, like, fucking white fish and broccoli and nothing else for this to ever happen because fuck all that. That ain't fair. They don't want not be. But, buddy, big calorie has lied to us. Of all people, you should know that things for you are not going to be fair and you're going to have to fucking reach for the moon.

Whereas, you know, like. I know you know more than me about all this stuff. Are you been like number one, if you do that every day, don't your body kind of adjust to it? As your muscles get stronger, you somehow burn less calories doing the same types of workout. See, Katie said that too, and Katie used to be a trainer and stuff,

but I've Googled a lot of it. And when you Google it, it says the exact opposite, actually. Robbie has told me. It says that like working out more makes you burn more, like in general. Like you go to like calorie calculators and you put in like your exercise level. And if the higher the exercise level is, like, per day,

the more calories you're supposed to burn per day. As opposed to like, Katie said a version of what you're saying. But the internet says the opposite thing. Follow up. Sometimes I kind of feel like people don't actually fucking really know. We need to have my buddy. I don't think they know. Yeah.

I mean, I think they've been working on it on, you know, because it changes every year's follow up. And this is the same kind of, I'm gray on this. Isn't it that your body type and your history and what your body got used to eat when you were little, all that stuff? I think it's true. Maybe I'm wrong. For example, I'll eat bread and my body will store most of that.

I will feel like shit that night. I will feel the way I feel when I don't eat because my body's not burning the calories that I've given it because it's told itself to store them. Isn't that a thing for people? That is a thing. Different body types store different calories differently. So you might be storing 500 of those calories. Feel like death because you're only running on a thousand. And I don't know how that works.

So here's what my buddy Rob, who just got married, who is a personal trainer, told me, like when I lost a shit ton of weight, and it took me several months, but how I did it. This is different than Robbie? No, this is Robbie. You also just got married? This is Robbie. Yeah, that same one. Oh, he's a personal trainer now?

Yeah, yeah, does hit. And so, I mean, he's always been an amateur of that. Like, he's always known so much about it, but he finally was like, oh, yeah. And he was, and he knows so much about food science and workout science. And finally he was just like, I fucking really like doing this. Why am I doing commercial real estate? That's fucking stupid. And so now, yeah, now he's personal trainer and he's doing really well.

But he told me for a while, he's like, hey, you got to him, I've lost this goddamn weight. And really all I'm doing is like, I mean, yeah, I'm eating better. But like, I'm walking every day in the park and just, you know, walking it out. And he's like, that's great. And you will lose a lot like pretty quick. He's like, but eventually your body, that's going to become the new norm for your body. And your body will be like, okay, we're going to walk three and a half. half hours tomorrow.

So I better hang on to a lot of this fucking fat. He's like, so after a while, you're going to have to switch it up and trick your heart and trick your fucking, you know, all this shit. So he told me something. He's like walking two hours is definitely better than like running for 15 minutes, but running for 45 minutes would be better than walking for four hours and dead sprinting for 10 and do this. It's all about just like switching up.

It's like getting your heart to hear and then bringing it down. and then getting it back to here. Like, I don't know, it's like, which I get. I'm like, oh, it's like fucking, you know, speedballing, but safe. Yeah, it's like comedy. Just trick your heart. Yeah, exactly. But in Robbie's opinions, they say you could, if the basic thing you're doing is running,

jogging, walking, but you do what you just said. It's like, oh, you go real hard for a short amount of time. Then you go whatever for, and like, he's saying that will work, even if you did that for a really long time. Or would you eventually have to stop walking? reason I ask is because that's how the bike where I have a peloton, that's pretty much how that works. You don't just sit there and just pedal for an hour and a half. You got like, there's periods where you go real fucking fast. There's periods where the resistance is really high and you're going really slow, but

pushing really hard, like you're digging through the mud. You go all over the place over the whole course of time. And like I said, I'm also lifting weights too. It's not just that. So I mean, like, I'm just genuinely think that you just don't have. Well, but all right, but neither do Kumal. Am I saying his name right? Oh, right, yeah.

And now he looks like a freak. And I think that... Well, yeah, I want some steroids. I don't know. It might be steroids. Oh, I can get you some steroids. He also got ripped, though. He lost his fat, too.

I feel like there's science that is... It ain't just calories. There's something else. Obviously, it's like physics, man. We were talking about that. It's like there's a part of this I can understand, and then there's stuff going on we don't know about. Yeah.

I know. We got into all this on the show before, and I was saying all that same stuff that I knew it to be true because of my personal experiences with it, right? I'm saying, even considering all that, I'm like, this don't make no goddamn sense is what I'm saying. Because typically, I hear you. It would be like I would work out. Like, I know people that could work out three, four days a week and eat like moderately healthy and look fucking great. And I've known for a very long time that I can't do that. What I'm saying is what I'm doing right now.

Yeah, you're going hard. In my head, it's like, how much more do you fucking want me to do? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I've. Try white fishing vegetables. Yeah, God. Well, he ain't going to do that. Just do it for five days.

I'm not going to do that. And see what happens. And if it works, then the next time you want to be ripped, you can do it for five days and be ripped. Nothing helps. All right. Well, time to go. All right. Hey, thanks for listening.

Tell all your friends, download, subscribe. And it looks like we're getting closer to maybe. coming and seeing y'all. So go to well red comedy.com and keep a look out for them dates that, man, fuck, I can't wait. Well, love y'all. And skew, skew. They're the liberal rednecks.

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