wellRED podcast - #219 - Trae and Corey Are Bags Of Shit But Phil Collins Is Not

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

This week Trae and Corey talk old road habits, being a morning person vs. night owl, and how hard Phil Collins hits 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say.

Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's the thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better.

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Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that.

Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas.

Yeah, so that was money. What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten.

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slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the they're the bear red necks day like cornbread but six they care way too much but don't give a fun. they're the neighborhood that makes some people upset but they got three big old dicks

that you can suck Well, here we are Today as we record this is May 3rd When it comes out, it will be May 5th, won't it? Oh, it will be, yeah So sandwiched in between there Did you think, you know that I didn't even

Yeah, you know, I didn't even do that because of that. What? The background. Yeah. I swear to God, I just wanted to change my background up. And I was like, I like Star Wars. I just put Star Wars up. Now, granted, it's been on my mind because of May the 4th. Okay. All right. Yeah. But like that wasn't like a clever little. I mean, that's a hell of a quanky dink. But yeah. But again, like, I mean, I have been thinking about it because of May the 4th. And also I just got through watching Captain, uh, or Winter Soldier and Falcon. Like all that type of shit is just very much at the front of. of my cerebellum right now. Mm-hmm. What did you think about Falcon and the Winter Soldier?

I really liked it. Teaser, we're going to be, that will be the entire episode of my other podcast through the screen door this week, which will have actually come out yesterday, if you're listening to this right now. We're going to do a re, kind of a recap of the entire series. I fucking, I liked it. I liked it a lot. So, trying to think of whether, but hell, whatever, I'll just.

I always, it came out on Fridays. Every Friday night is when I would watch it with my family. Right. Every Friday night, I would be coming from doing a thing with you. Yeah. In which it was drunk. It was drunk. Yeah.

I'm sure that, I'm sure that is why. But I kind of had trouble like following it a lot. Like I would get, I thought the action was rad. I mean, I also really liked it, but there were multiple points. And again, I'm sure this is my fault because it was drunk. But there were multiple points where I would be sort of like, wait a minute, hold on. What? How did it?

What? Like, I would be confused about exactly what they were trying to do or how they got there or whatever. I'm actually glad to hear you say that. And it should be pointed out that for me, it too was drunk. because often, at least the first couple episodes, like, because of that, I ended up watching the episodes earlier in the day before the thing with me and you where it was drunk. But I literally had to watch the first two episodes completely over again.

And I swear to God, I was like, oh, shit, that's Wyatt Russell. Like, that's the level of drunk, not paying it. Because, like, it's not like that was hidden. Like, it's very clear like, holy shit, there's Wyatt Russell. He's going to be the new, you know, ostensibly the new, Captain America in this show, at least for a second. And like, I fucking 100% missed that the first time. So no, I agree with you.

But like, dude, the thing with Marvel is, is like, I guess, again, like, you're one of the most, like, I've got ADD. So that happens to me all the time. But you really, you're a really good. You're a focused person. You've got a big ass brain. I just think that's a Marvel thing. And you just have to kind of accept it when you watch Marvel.

Like, look, if I missed one tiny part of this. this movie from five movies ago, it's very possible that what just happened there went smoothed the fuck over my head. Right. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, and it's not typically drunk for me when I watch things.

So that's probably, I'm sure it's that and not the thing itself. But yeah, this is not, like you said, you have ADD. That is not typically a problem that I have. Right.

Because also like anything I'm watching my kids, they're always like, what's that or whatever and i gotta been i always katy too i'm sure that is and katy too lord god yeah katy especially but she didn't watch that with us luckily does katy do the thing where she does that even if it's a thing that she doesn't give a fuck about or or even if it's like not possible to know the answer to the question she's asking maybe just started it just started yeah exactly and she'll be like wait who's this guy or whatever it's like we're we're not supposed to know who that is he literally just showed up. Clearly, it's going to be relevant and important who that guy is.

But obviously, no one, including the protagonist, knows right now who that is. And that includes me, Katie. I also don't know who that is. So why are you asking me? She asks questions like that all the time. So, like, I just ignore those. If she asked a question that's like, clearly there's no way I can know the answer to, I just ignore it. And, then she'll be like, why, you know, why are you ignore me for? Like, you know, so I thought that was a rhetorical question because how could you possibly expect me to actually have an answer for it? You know, she's fun to watch stuff with. By the way, yeah, Amber's the exact same way. And I have a theory that they do it on purpose. Okay. Because, like, because, like, because, dude, we all know

that, like, you know, ha, ha, we want to play 90s Ray Romano comic, but like, all women are not the same. We know that. Everyone is an individual snowflake, thumbprint, if it will. Yet they all do seem to have that one specific thing. And all of them have that one specific thing in common. And I think that like at the coalition years ago, they were just like, hey, we found in our research that nothing, and I mean nothing, pisses a man off more than when you do this. And they were all just like, awesome, got it.

Because like it's, dude, I've heard you describe it. Katie. I'm like, we, to the, to the number, that exact same thing happened last night. And because I do, I have things like that that I do that like, I'm completely doing it on purpose because I know it gets on Amber's nerves. Like stuff that I wear, I'll find out that something don't hit for her and I'll be like, I'm going to go by seven of them. You know what I'm saying? I mean, granted, she might be on to me, but like, I don't think they care at all to know any of that stuff. I just think that deservedly, like we, we do so many dumb man things throughout the day that we don't even conceive as dumb man things that piss them off and put a lot on them.

And then, you know, on top of they've got ovaries that are constantly being, have jurisdiction put on them. And, you know, they make less money. I think that it's just kind of one of them get it where you can get it in. That's one of their things. I just also just think it hits for them. It does hit for that. It hits for them today.

Yesterday, Katie was talking to her best friend. Now, her best friend, because this is also how women be. Her best friend is my best friend's wife. Yeah. Who is it that's got that bit? Is that a Joe Rogan bit? Somebody's got a bit about how dudes don't ever do that.

Yeah, right. You know, like your old ladies, her friends, their husbands or boyfriends, you're like, you don't fuck with those guys. I think it is Joe Rogan. You own nothing to do with those guys. You're like, but your best friends. their women becomes, you know, tight with your women. And in my experience, I mean, again, Thompson's wife, Autumn is literally Katie's best friend

on earth. So we can circle back to that. But real quick, yesterday she was talking to Autumn on the phone as they are want to do. And I guess Autumn was talking about how Thompson don't hit. And as she is want to do. And Katie, Katie was outside in the yard talking to her. I was inside on the couch watching my cakes, right? Doing nothing.

saying nothing to nobody, not hurting a soul. And I guess Autumn, talking about how Thompson don't hit Mike Hay to go, you know what, you know what? Trade on it. Neither. And she literally just walked in the house and just started fucking talking trash about me

to Autumn, but in front, like standing in front of me, looking at me, but talking to Autumn about how I don't hit. Like she came inside to make sure that I heard all the things she was saying to Autumn about how much I don't have for her or whatever, just straight up out of the blue.

You should shut her goddamn cell phone off, see what happens. But yeah, no, that's that Joe, if it, I think it is a Joe Rogan bit, but that's like, that's so fucking true. And I also think like,

that's, that's another way in which women are better than us because they're like, look, I'll make it work because that's how, but like, dude, Amber has some friends and she's like,

and this is, again, hey, by the way, everyone out there listening, please understand. I'm not trying to justify myself. This is a shit thing to do.

I'll do it again, though. It's where she would say, hey, insert girl she's friends with whose husband don't hit for me here. Yeah. Was wanting to know if we'd go out to eat Friday night. And I'll be like, no. And she'd be like, oh, do you have something else to do? And I'm like, anything else.

Yeah. Anything else. I'm not doing that. Like, like, he just don't know for me. And he's not a bad guy. But it's just like, my thing is like, like, sweetie, we have a finite time on this earth to exist. I'm not taking two and a half hours out of that to be miserable. There's so many times that I'm forced to be miserable. I'm not going to choose it. You know what I'm saying? I'm miserable

in some sense. Like, like, you know, nobody wants to clean out the gutter, but God damn it, you got to do it. I'll be miserable then. I'm not going to be miserable on Friday just because, just fucking y'all go. And by the way, she will. Sometimes there's, I heard. I know. By the way, I'm hearing it. I'm saying it. I'm terrible. I get it. But it is. That's, that's, It's picturing that at like just the apparent, the apparent nature of how much they don't hit for you is, is really cracking me up. Like from their perspective, like, where's Corey at? Like, I just, and I'm sure Amber don't do you no favors either. He's like, I, he's just been a fucking queer at the house or.

No, no, she does do me favor. No, she does do me favors because to defend myself a little bit, there, I'm one of those people and we have one of those jobs in entertainment to where, like, I can always fill my hours with something useful. And I do. Like I'm a very busy guy, but I think what a lot of people are, like, a lot of that busyness, like I put that on myself. It's not like I always have a deadline. It's just like to me, if I've got a couple idle hours,

I could always be working on a video, working on a script or doing something. And so like I will be like, no, I'm going to, I'll do that. And she can't, Amber and a lot of our other friends don't understand like, because they don't, and this is normal, they don't like work. I like my, I like what I do, which is why they don't consider it work, because, you know, work is something that you don't like. I was about to ask if there was an element of this too. This is, I remember being at my in-laws house and I was working on a script,

like a real fucking script that I was getting paid to write that, of course, never got fucking made or whatever, like none of them. Yeah, I'm clearly talking about spec stuff. that I just do so that I don't have to go to the dinner. Yeah, but you still got to write spec scripts though. Right. You have to do that if you're, I mean, if you give a fuck about working in TV or whatever, you have to do that.

So I was working on a real life script. I've written a bunch of scripts and I don't even remember which one it was. But we were at my in-laws, you know, visiting and they were doing shit or whatever. And I was sitting on the couch and my laptop and my lap working on this script. and Katie's sister walked by and like looked at and she was like, she got, I saw her kind of look at me weird, but she didn't say nothing.

She walked off. And then she walked back by a little later and I'm still sitting there working on it. And she like looked at me again. And she was like, it totally like this incredulousness was totally real. She was like, are you doing like homework or something? She said,

I thought you graduated college and I was like, no, I'm writing a script. And she's like, what? I was like, you know, I'm a complete. media, right? Do you know what scripts are? But like, they don't really. They don't know. And so it's like there's that element of it too. And like you says, like not looking at it as work, they just don't, a whole lot of people, especially in towns like Chickamauga, where my in-laws

live, where I'm from, they just have no concept. But that actually, any of this shit works at all. And so they don't, that also leads to that type of thing. It does, but it's kind of 50-50. like it sucks when I have to constantly explain like, what do you not get about I'm working or this is still work or dude, just because I enjoy it doesn't, like I'm so sorry that you hate your job. Like most people do and I know that and that sucks, but like I don't, but that doesn't mean I don't work any less than you. But my point is like them not knowing exactly what it is I do actually works out to my

favor a lot because no, Amber does like Amber would never want them to think I was just being a dick because she's got to play politician. So she definitely will be like, oh, Corey's at home working on a script or Corey's at home doing a podcast, which again, often is true. But they hear that and they immediately just like, oh, right, something, he has a different thing going on. So whatever. And then they move on with their lives. And I also have to explain to her like, you don't want me. And you know me, you know me.

Is there any person let that you want less in a situation that doesn't want to be there than me? Because I can't, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. You know what I'm saying? like I couldn't fake being happy for a dinner that I hated. I'm not good at it. Okay. All right. In my experience, actually, yeah, you're right.

This is a difficult question, honestly, because in my radio and stuff. In my experience, that's like a huge role that you play sort of for me, which always hits for me. But when, when you, the occasions in which. you are not playing ball. Yeah. Yeah, it really don't hit at all.

I was like, you literally will just like, you'll just shut down. Yeah, like won't even speak or anything. And I'm just sitting there like fucking nudging you and shit. Like, please talk to this fucking person.

This ain't for me or whatever. And you just, you just sit there. You're not going to do it. But those are very rare. They are very rare. The first, the first thing,

you're, that's what you, that's part of what you do is you're the one that's like, what's that, let's do, let's hit. I'm a Cho, Cho's here, let's hit. Yeah, even when nothing hits. But think about those two, I can think of two, I know, by the way, the two specific examples you're thinking of.

One, well, the first one is an amalgamation of a lot, which is morning radio. And at morning radio, I'm really good, but we have to understand is that is me being professional. And I can always turn it on for work or when it benefits me. The second, I know, is when we were riding in a fucking, car in Iowa and I had just gotten off a plane and I wasn't feeling good and we were in the car with total strangers who were our liaisons to a theater and they were wanting to have a conversation and

you had to bear the brunt of the conversation because I was just like I don't feel good fuck this and like but yeah because I wasn't at work that was that was me being driven from an airport to a hotel I don't like and I'm not trying to be a diva I was like I was kind of sick and I was just like I can't I can't do this. And the other time that I could think of, and like you, it was funny, but it still is an example of the latter thing is the time that you spent this entire second half of an actual business meeting we were in only saying the word butt fuck over and over. I didn't know the meeting had started. People hear that. And like, that's pretty chowy.

Yeah. And it is. Very chowy. Yeah. But the other people, you know, people in the meeting who were like trying to talk about real shit. And then Joe just, but fuck. That's a true story. I've spent this entire podcast not trying to defend myself because I'm an awful person.

I get that. But in my defense, I was really, really high and wasn't aware that the meeting had started yet because a lot of people were filtering through. You know what I mean? But yeah, I mean, dude, not a good look. And I'm ashamed of that. Oh. But yeah. And I want to, because I'm also coming off like a bag of shit here because I'm normally like, yeah,

have you there to talk to people so I don't have to talk to people. That is true though. Just to, I know, but just to go into that for a minute, a couple things. First morning radio, and you've seen this happen with, we didn't, we weren't on the road too much after I had that sinus surgery. But I got a lot better about the morning and stuff because like I had an actual, like, Affliction. What?

I said affliction at the same time you said condition, yeah. Where like, dude, at 6 o'clock in the morning, I mean, I'm just like, I was just like, I could barely function legitimately. And dude, being funny is hard. People don't, like, be, you know, like being on. And it was so hard for me to be on at fucking 6.30 at the morning, like, physiologically. And then after I had that sinus surgery and I was actually, I wasn't fucking not getting any rest ever. Then I started being, you know, I still, it still didn't hit for me to do.

I started being better about morning radio, but that's a whole different thing. This thing about just talking to people, making small talk with people, that is just, it has not to do with me being like, you know, why,

how dare this peasant speak in my presence? Yeah. Like, it's no, it ain't no kind of like Steve Harvey or Ellen thing where it's like, tell them they ain't allowed to talk to me or nothing. It's nothing like that.

I'm actually very fucking socially awkward. Yeah. And like an introvert. and stuff and like I don't I'm not good at making small talk with people that I don't know and I like I feel like I put my foot in my mouth a lot or just say dumb or awkward shit and it's uncomfortable for me and that that's all it is it's not um but if you've met us at meet and greets and thought oh try you were fine yeah it was drunk I have to I have to drink during meet and greets that's the only way that I can do that shit not because I don't love y'all because how I am I'm just not

I'm not good at that type of thing. Yeah, people don't, a lot of people don't know this, but before you had your surgery, you actually had, you would carry a doctor's note everywhere with you in social situations that said, and you would hand it to people and it would say, don't worry, medically, he's a bag of shit and a worthless person. It's not, he's not, he doesn't mean to be as off putting, I think is what it said, as he currently is. It's a medical thing that we hope to feel.

fix. It was a long note. It was very long piece of paper. But there's also this fucking thing that's always bothered me about this goddamn world we live in, the society we live in that. That was a very real thing. A very real thing. To explain it very briefly, my whole head and face, all, every sinus cavity I had, was literally on fire. It was inflamed. The way that if you get a sinus infection, your shit is inflamed. Mine was inflamed like that every moment of every day for like eight years and until I had surgery to fix it.

Well, when you have that going on, when you sleep, because remember I took sleep studies and stuff because I was like something is not right about this. Yeah. But I wasn't, I don't have sleep apnea, which is stunning. I agree. But I don't have sleep apnea. It's that when I was sleeping, my body was constantly fighting that ongoing infection at all times. So I was never getting an adequate amount of rest. So I would sleep on days off and shit,

we're off the road. I could sleep easily 13 hours every single night literally. And man, that shit fucking sucks for the record. Like it don't be in that way. And no, of course not. But especially because of how busy your days are like in this industry and what we do, like how many things you have to do. Like, like I'm not and please don't think that I'm saying that like, you know, it's so tough being us. We've chose this. I fucking love it. I love the industry that I'm in.

I love how busy I am. But because of it, if I want to, like on a lot of days, if I want to get everything that I'm supposed to get done, then get everything I want to get done. And also exercise, eat dinner, and hang out with my wife. Dude, sometimes I got to get up at like 4.30 in the morning, like just to fucking nail all that shit. And if you sleep 13 hours, you're like, well, fuck, I got nine hours. left in the whole day. Jesus God, I'm fucked. Yeah, so, but then after the surgery, that went away,

but here's what I was saying that don't hit about society at large. I have this attitude, too. I get this to me, or I get this so often, still, from good friends like you and Drew often. This world is set on, like, it is not okay to just operate on a, a different schedule than the rest of this world in terms of sleeping. Meaning like some people, it's a proven thing. Not everybody, not everybody's sleep cycle works the same way. Right.

Not everybody, like a lot of musicians are that way. I remember Patterson Hood telling us, he was like, I don't, I mean, he's like, man,

I don't even really get going to like two or three p.m. or whatever. Or, uh, you know, Tyler Childers has a line about it. What is it? It's like,

late in the evening when the, sun sinks low. That's about the time my roast. That type of shit. But there's a real name for that, which I don't, I can't remember right now, sleep phase disorder or something like that, where people, you just, it's just being a night owl. People know what the word night owl is. Well, that's a real thing.

Some people really are night owls. Like, that's how they're wired. They're wired differently. But that makes you a fucking fat, lazy, sorry-ass sack of dog shit, as far as the rest of the normal people who didn't have. happen to be fucking born the way you were born are considered because you don't like getting up at fucking six in the morning or whatever it's like I hate it I fucking hate it drives me crazy yeah we feel bad for you you get up and go for a fucking walk and drink a coffee every goddamn

morning at 6 a.m you're like I'm a productive member of society and trades a fucking piece of shit I've never said that you say it all the time you imply it I've never no first of the rest of the world says it because of the way because what the rules are first off I've had to train myself. I've just literally rewired my brain during the pandemic. Don't act like I wasn't a bag of shit. Dude, I used to stay up until 4 o'clock in the morning. You think I was getting up at 6th?

I used to never sleep. Well, that's, I know you said never sleep. But I wasn't functional. I mean, I eventually would sleep. Dude, the thing is, though, like I eventually. That's how you would go. You would stay up real late, but you get up as early too. and you do that for a while.

And then after time of doing that, typically on the day that you first arrived at my house, you would then sleep for 17 hours. And then you would do it in just like everything in your life. It was like sleep was a binging thing. But I've had to rewire my brain. Like now when I get up at six, I do fire up and I have a call.

But like, dude, because of my anxiety and my depression, I have found that literally the thing that helps me the most is to constantly be doing something, like just, you know, constant motion or writing or listening to something. So like I just spring out of bed, get in the shower, drink my coffee, take my CBD, which we'll talk about in a minute, and I go for a walk and then I go straight from a walk to writing so like that's just me it's more like a manic thing than be it but like dude also to defend you like that the sleep schedule that you have and how your body works is actually optimal for

the thing that we did strictly for a living for four and a half years yeah like like that's how that's how you but like and that's and like yeah i know that me and drew like give you shit but obviously we're just kidding i don't believe none of that stuff but like that's kind of always it's pissed me off to a degree when people are like, you know, comedians, they just sleep all fucking day. And I'm like, that's what I'm saying. Everybody, people are like, yeah, you just sleep all. And it's like, it's like, dude, that don't mean that I'm not fucking productive. Taking care of my shit or being productive, the fact that I sleep later than you. Yeah. So many people really do feel that way. That's exactly what I'm talking about. It makes me mad.

It makes me mad for two reasons. Number one, for simply what you said, like, do you go up to and say that to any other third shift person? Like, do you say, do you say that to an EMT that works from fucking three to 11. God damn, all they do is sleep all day. Yeah, right, because they work at two in the morning. But also, like, that's just not the case. Like, yeah, you might sleep all day, but people, like, you don't just sleep and then wake up and go get on stage and then go back to sleep.

Like, there's a lot of shit. Like, you're still putting in a full day's work. You're just starts there. It's like, I've always resented that because, like, and by the way, don't get me wrong, there are comedians who absolutely just sleep all day, get drunk, get drunk, fucked up, but here's, here's the deal. Here's a deal. Like, you sound like you just do that.

And I was like, some, some of us do that. No, no, some, some, some do. But do you want to know what they all have in common for the most part? Yeah. Nobody here knows who the fuck they are. Right. Yeah. And I don't mean that is it, that's a dick.

But that's just for the, for the most part, obviously there are outliers and there are people who it's like, man, they just got it. Like, they just got it. They can do that. Reportedly, I don't know that this is true, but reportedly Dave Chappelle was always that type of dude. He wasn't getting drunk all time or whatever. Right.

But they always said Dave Chappelle was the type that could just like wake up in the middle of afternoon. Right. Just sort of like sit around smoke weed, think for a little bit. Then just show up at the club, go up there and just murder everybody. And he's just, yeah, he's, yeah, he's an outlier. He's just different. And he's an outlier, honestly, amongst outliers. Because I guarantee you, like, Jerry Seinfeld also an outlier, but he would look at that and be like,

how is this possible? You know, because Jerry's very much. He would spend eight hours a day writing, jokes and stuff. Maticulously, meticulously. But I've just, you know, I don't know. I've always been that, dude, but I've changed a lot during the pandemic.

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My family's on there and they're like, well, look, here's the deal. do you have another phone? You could try this service out too and compare them. So I was like, well, yeah, so I got me, I got me a new phone just to have as a sweet burner phone with my with my mint SIM card in it. And I got to tell you, I live in a part of the world, Tray. You know where I'm from where it's kind of hard to get service. Mint is just as good as you're leading as your leading cell phone provider.

I love it. Also, I don't know if I've told you this, Tray. I think what I'm going to do, because I have a completely brand new number too. Like I've got my old number, but I got a new number. You know what I think I'm going to do? I think I'm just going to give that number out on Twitter.

Okay. For my new phone. So it can be like the well-read hotline. I like that idea a lot. There was a service. I don't remember the name of it because we didn't hit hard enough to be invited to fuck with this service. And I don't think it's still around anymore.

That was basically what you just described. I know it from listening to the Two Bears podcast. Yeah. We could circle back to this, but where people, hitters would have separate phone numbers that anybody could text to or whatever. So I think that's a good idea. Yeah, I'm going to do it. So for people looking for just extra savings,

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go to mintmobile.com slash well-read. That's mintmobile.com slash well-read. cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash well read. I'm telling you, I'm living the sticks. It's good service. Take it from me. And yeah, I don't have the number handy right now on me.

I can't remember what it is, but I will next week, I'll say it on the episode, and I'm going to put it out on Twitter. You can call me, text me on this anytime. Obviously, there may be times when I can't answer, but I'm excited to see how this experiment, how this experiment. It's going to be something. All right, hits. That's it.

You were, let's talk about, uh, hmm, you, you were saying on Twitter earlier, though somebody had a prompt, what movie traumatized you as a youth? Yes. A screenshot from Starship Troopers. I'm so glad you recognized that. Oh, well, I recognized it because. Did it to you two? No.

No. You were 12, 13 at the time, though. I was, I was about to say, I think the minor difference in our ages, just that couple years, I think made a world a difference because, no, that movie always stuck with me as one of my very favorite and hitting this. I know you're not saying it. I know you're not saying it don't hit, but no, I was not traumatized by, in fact, it had a completely opposite effect on me with them co-ed shower scenes and stuff.

I was sort of the opposite of traumatized. Can I tell you something that I also jacked off to it? Yeah, I know, I know you're not saying because it was one, it weren't the other. I'm just saying, I always used to say, I don't know if it's fair to categorize it this way anymore, but I used to say, because I think it is, best B-Movie ever. I used to always say everybody's like, that is the greatest B-Movie ever made

or that will ever be made as far as I'm concerned. I do think it is a B-Movy on purpose, you know, that's what I sort of recognize about it now, is it's like, it's purposefully, like, Paul Verhoven purposely casted the sort of like CW-W-level cast of the time. C-W wasn't a thing at the time, but you know what I mean by that, right? They're like very, very beautiful and not the best natural actors or whatever.

Yeah, you can say Denise Richards out loud. Yeah, right. And old Casper, Casper Van Deyen. Yeah. Is that his name? Anyway. He did that on purpose. Like, he made it to be that way.

But he did it extremely successfully. Paul Verhoeven's wild motherfucker actually, man. He was like, he was really, really good at that sort of like. He was very ahead of his time because a lot of people did, like the satire about a lot of people did. I think a lot of people probably still don't. But at the time for sure, a lot of people did not get that movie. That movie's fucking brilliant.

I'm actually, I'm actually glad that you're bringing this up because I was actually thinking I was going to mention you like, hey, you know what we should do? I don't know if this would be good for a well-read podcast. Maybe we'll do it is just a bonus something. I think we should rewatch that movie and talk about it because one thing, because I, it's been a couple years since I've seen it, but I do remember like, the last time I saw it was as someone who definitely had a more refined palette for movies and was just older and my brain worked better. And I was like, oh, fuck, this movie's really good.

And I've gone a step further and I'm so glad that you brought this up. It's so interesting to watch a lot of people, their revisionist reviews of it. It's like some of the same people from 97 that watched it 97 and gave it shit reviews have gone back on what they said and have admitted they were like, this is embarrassing to admit, but like, I genuinely just didn't get it. And now looking back, I don't see how I was that fucking stupid, but they were like, but you have to understand like,

that what, like, idiotocracy hadn't come out. Like, that wasn't like satirizing to that level. And especially like that was, and it was, it's like pose law level satirizing because I could totally see how someone be like, no, I think they just made a shitty movie. You know what I mean?

But it's like, no, man. A shitty movie that celebrates like the military. military industrial complex. But it doesn't. No, it's rip. It's satirizing. It's ripping on it. I think another thing I think that attributed to that, although I'm sure a lot of people

didn't even know this and they just watched the movie. And I still have never read it, but my understanding of is that the book, Starship Troopers by Heinlein. Yeah. Is kind of like a more face value version of the thing that he satirized with the movie, which I think also fuck some people up because it was an adaptive version. version of a book that kind of was, to an extent, the thing that the movie was making fun of. So it just went over people's heads, I think.

Also, it's just rad as fuck. Yeah. So it's like you just, you know, you kind of like, I'm not going to sit here and say I fully got all the satire. I kept watching that movie throughout my young life. By the time I got to college and was smoking weed and shit, I was telling everybody how brilliant this movie was. Right. But when it came out and I was 13 or whatever, I'm not saying that I've,

got it all. I just liked all the tities and the bugs exploding and all that, but it really hits it that part too. That's what it hits it. Everything. Yeah. And all the like silly shit that it has in it, again, it's on purpose. Right. So it fully plays like the fuck.

It's like, my God, they sucked his brains out. Yeah. All that, the only good bug is a dead bug. You know what we should over the top shit is on purpose. So it totally plays. That movie's a fucking masterpiece. You know what we should do?

We should rewatch that movie this week and take some, like, diligent notes. And then next week on the podcast, do a recap of it, but not tell Drew that's what we're going to do. And just start, just go right into it. Just be like, all right. So this week and he's just about what the fuck? Yeah, that is funny. We should do that. Yeah.

Yeah. No, let's do that. Okay. That would be fun. I guess we'll stop talking about it now since we're going to do that next week for sure. Yeah, yeah. Because that will hit. All right.

Well, all right. Well, moving on. I know you know where I'm going with this because I texted y'all about it. But you know who I've come to realize recently is an extremely underrated hitter, except maybe not if you are of a certain age. But I think if you're our age and below, people don't recognize the insane degree to which this person hit. And that is Phil Collins.

Oh, yeah, you did text me about this, which made it. Which made Mark be like, I believe the same thing, but about cake. Yeah. And I was like, me too. Trish Lachey's motherfucker. Yeah. So the reason I thought about this is because as we've talked about it on the show before, I've been on my Peloton and it's all like themed playlist for each ride.

I do a lot of 80s rides, hits for me. And Phil Collins kept coming up, but different Phil Collins songs. And it was like when the song first plays, it pops up the title and artist up in the corner. And every time it would pop up, be like Phil Collins, Invisible Touch or whatever. And I'd be like, I ain't ever heard this Phil Collins song.

And then it was starting by, oh shit, yes, I have. And it hits like a motherfucker. And that happened over and over again. And so I finally looked at it. I was like, God damn, how many hits did Phil Collins have? And it's a lot. He had a whole lot. Matter of fact, how many number ones?

He had more than every artist of that era except for Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson. it goes Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, and then number three is Phil Collins. Do you think anybody would think that? No, never. That's what I'm saying. It's wild. Phil Collins is wild.

That is wild because, like, of the other people, like, number, well, first off, fucking Paul McCartney's got the whole Beatles thing going on. Right. So you get that. And Michael Jackson's got the whole being the, Michael Jackson. Being the most talented pound for pound entertainer of the lifetime. What I mean by that is like in their own right,

their sex symbols and like they're people who can sell based on things other than their music. Phil Collins, let's face it, has just got his musical talent. Exactly. And that's fucking amazing. He's a hit and bald.

He is a hitting bald. He's got to add him to your list. It's funny you were saying that. As you were saying all that in my. brain I was like, I'm going to have to update the list. Yeah, the list of hitting bald because he is. But no, you're right. Dude, he was a drummer.

You know what I mean? Like, drummers don't never get no shine. It was like him and leave on and that's it. Right. Him and leave on the fucking Night Ranger guy. Yeah, Dave Grohl and the Night Ranger guy. Who started doing other shit. Right.

Yeah, no, that is kind of wild. And like, also on top of that, like, you know, then Phil Collins scored a Disney movie, you know, like he got that whole fucking. smashed with it and like on an Oscar and shit. His was, You'll Be in My Heart. That's it, right? Yeah. From Tarzan.

Tarzan, yeah. I hadn't seen that one in a minute. We'll have to go back and watch Tarzan without Drew. Let me just read some of this here. Collins' discography includes eight studio albums that have sold 33.5 million certified units in the U.S. alone in an estimated 150 million records sold worldwide, making him one of the world's best-selling artists. He's one of only three recording artists, along with Paul McCarrow.

and Michael Jackson, who have sold over 100 million records, both as solo artist and separately as principal members of a band. So that's what that specific statistic was. He's won eight Grammy Awards, six Brit Awards, which I guess is the British Grammy, two Golden Globes, one Oscar and a Disney Legend Award. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 99 inducted in the Songwriters Hall of Fame and in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2003 and 2002, respectively. was it you that was telling me that

George Harrison Phil Collins story? I don't know. I don't think so. So share it, please. Man, I don't want to butcher it, but I'm going to try to tell it, I think. Wait a minute. I do know this story, but I don't think that I told you this and I don't, I also have a vague memory of,

do we hear this at the same time? We may have. And please bear with me where this is because I'm actually going to do a little, I'm going to do a little. This story hits. It hits so hard. It's, it hits hard. I bet we listen to the same podcast.

I bet we did. Phil Collins, George. No, I think Mark shared it. Maybe that is what it was. Okay, dude, dude, dude.

I'm just going to fucking read this because this is so, yeah, this story's funny. It's so goddamn tremendous. Okay. So, I, God damn it,

should I just read the whole fucking article? That's a lot. no, no, it's not that much. It's fine. I'll cite it. This is from Far Out magazine. I promise you this story is too good for me not to wear this. This is from Far Out magazine, so I'm just going to read the horacle.

George Harrison was undoubtedly a genius songwriter. The things he could do within the confinements of music was a gift, even decades after a sad passing, yada, yada, yada, but it wasn't just the music that he excelled at. It was also the comic genius that Phil Collins found out about the hard way. Harrison famously even had a sideline career. as a producer of comedy films, including, oh, I didn't know this, Monty Python's Life of Brian, George Harrison, fucking produced that.

I did know that, actually. That's amazing. He basically got that movie made that finance and stuff. That's fucking amazing. Well, he's my favorite Beatle anyways. I've been saying that. He also made a beloved cameo.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I remember. However, this anecdote, cursory of Phil Collins provides a perfect glimpse into the comedic work workings. The seed for his prank on the Genesis drummer began in 1970 when Collins was a teenage session musician who grew up in absolute all of everything Beatles related. The chance to work

with Harrison was one that he couldn't quite believe. Even though he was a nervous wreck, this opportunity was potentially life-changing one and Collins grasped it with both hands. At the time, Collins was in his former band, flaming youth and wouldn't audition to join Genesis until later on in the same year. So anyways, he says, our manager got a call from Ringo Starr's chauffeur, who said they needed a percussionist, and he suggested me. So I went down to Abby Road and Harrison was there in Ringo and Billy Preston and Klaus Vorman, but that guy was racist. And Phil Spector, I'm kidding. And, and, oh, he murdered, Phil Spector did. And, uh, and when they started routing the song, Collins stated, Harrison was recording his, uh, his debut solo album, All Things Must Pass. This

record is the, uh, his, him breaking free from the Beatles. Uh, Collins continued, no one told me what to play. And every time they started the song, Phil Spector would say, let's hear guitar and drums or let's hear bass and drums. I'm not a conga player. So my hands are starting to bleed. He's playing the fucking bongos. And he goes, I'm getting cigarettes off Ringo. I don't even smoke. I was just nervous. Anyways, about after two hours of this, Phil Specter says, okay, congos, you play this time. And I'd had my mic off. So everybody laughed, but my hands were shot.

And so they all disappear, yada, yada, yada. A few months later, I buy the album from my local record shock. Look at the sleeve notes. And I'm not there. And I'm thinking there must be some mistake. But it's a different version of the song. And I'm not on it. he added. However, that's just the start of this story. Once Collins would become a world famous star in his own right, he and Harrison were back in contact, which is where this story, this is,

God damn it, dude. This story is so fucking great. Cut to years later, Collins added, I bought Jackie Stewart's house. Harrison was a friend of Jackie's and Jackie told me George was remixing, all things must pass. He said, you weren't on it, were you? And I said, well, I was there. Two days later, he said, well, I was there. Two days later, tapes are delivered from George Harrison with a note saying, could this be you? Suddenly, suddenly the Congas come in. Too loud and just awful. And the end of the tape, you can hear George Harrison saying, hey, Phil, can we try another without the Conga player? So now I know they didn't go off to watch TV. They went somewhere and said, get rid of him because I was playing so badly. Then Jackie Rings says, I've got someone here to speak to you and puts George on and he says,

did you get the tape? And I said, I now realize I was fired by a beetle. He said, don't worry, it was a his take. I got Ray Cooper to play really badly and we dubbed it on. Thought you'd like that. I said, you fucking bastard. Collins then reminisce in hindsight, it was lovely, wasn't it? So here's the condensed story. That was a lot of rambling because it was a fucking George Harrison to play a prank on Phil Collins literally hired a group of studio musicians to come in and fuck this up and not hit and not hit just so he could at the end go that was shit wasn't it just so he could send it to Phil Collins and Phil Collins could feel really bad about himself yeah he brought him all in and made him made the drummer that he brought in that wasn't

Phil Collins fuck it up horribly just that's also funny to picture like picture to picture Phil Collins 30 20 years later or whatever and like oh hearing it and listening to that. Just like waiting on himself to come in, waiting on the young teenage version of himself to come in. And then it's like a fucking baboon slapping fucking congo. Like, just imagining in his head being like, oh, my God. How, like, embarrassed and mortified he would be in that moment.

Also, none of it was real. Also, in case anybody out there doesn't know how this works, George Harrison, this absolutely costs George Harrison a good deal of money to do. Like he he hired studio musicians for a whole day's work to come in and do this. It's also, I think, important to point out that this is way before. If this happened today, it would be on George Harrison's IG live. Absolutely. Laughing at it or whatever.

He didn't, this was not for like a promo for his YouTube channel. Personal jokes. Just was way before. No one ever, no one would have ever known about this. If Phil Collins didn't tell the story years later, George Harrison did it just to hit for himself. Yeah, this, that reminds me of a story. This is the exact same story, actually. There reminds me a story one time we were playing football over at, it's called the Dan McNally field. It's the ball field named after Dan McNaughtonle. We'd go over there to play football.

That makes sense. Yeah, don't it? And, uh, and, uh, and don't it though? Details. And, uh, and, uh, we, we were all there throwing football. And then I decided that I need to go to to my car for something. And so I have to walk from the field all the way past the concessions. stand where nobody is. And as I'm getting closer, I just hear this, my buddy, Nathan Cook, laughing. And he had a very distinct laugh. He was just going, you know, a dip shit. Yeah.

And so. Yeah. So a dip shit, old boy. And I come around and I look and he is up on his tippy toes and peeing through the cage inside the concession stand, just peeing all inside the concession stand. No one was around at all for him to see this.

It was just him. He is yards and yards away from anybody that would be able to see him doing it laugh. He'd just gone over there and thought, this will hit. And he was just doing it for himself. And I was just like, man, I mean, this is a shitty thing to do.

But like, it's really funny that you did it for the love of the game. Love of the game. By the way, Nathan's not really a, I mean, he's a big shit in the way that we're all dipshit. He was pissing into a concession stand. Isn't it funny how all dipships have that laugh?

Yes, that is the official. Well, Southern ones for sure. Maybe everywhere. I don't know. But I can only speak to where we're from. But all the dip, yeah. God, I'm going to bleep this.

So, why? I mean, I just. Oh, his name? Yeah. It's true. Probably, I guess. I don't know. Because I love him to death.

I should have said he's not a dips shit. It's just like he's got a dips shit laugh. Yeah. He's a dick shit. Yeah, like dipshit would. Yeah. Again, I don't know him. So, you know, whatever.

You do, though. You put it on me. Yeah, of course I do. I graduated high school with him too. 80 miles away. Yeah. So, yeah, Phil Collins. He hits.

I had more top 40 singles than any other artists in the 1980s. And I will remind you, people was fucking hitting in the 1980s. Absolutely. In the music world, like it's hitting. I mean, my God, you've got not only, you know, Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney, like we said, but you got fucking death left, you got fucking Van Halen, you got guns and roses. Appetite for destruction came out. Yeah, right. Madonna, for God's fucking sake.

Yeah, yeah, man. I mean. It's wild. Yeah, it really is fucking, like that. And again, like, I think Phil Collins might fall into that Tom Petty. category. Yeah, I think that like, so as we've definitely talked about it on here before, but as a reminder, the Tom Petty effect that we have coined here at Well Red is basically that when you acknowledge

that someone is universally respected and adored, but still think that that person is underrated, which is what we said about Tom Petty when he died. It's like, we know everyone loves Tom Petty. We're aware of that. But Tom Petty isn't talked about the way that like Bowie and Springsteen and the stun. and the Stones and the Beatles are. And like he should be. Absolutely.

He is underrated still. Yeah. I kind of think Phil Collins is like another level of underrated. Yeah. I feel nobody even talks about it. I don't think that that first part about Tom Petty, like everybody loves him, everybody knows it.

Sure, Phil Collins is respected. But actually, like people don't, I don't think people really know how hard Phil Collins. I think Phil Collins is in a level. I think he's of a level that a good deal of people think he's a one-hit wonder. Probably. People are. Yeah, younger people for sure.

They hear it. They're like, yeah, that's the guy that did. Too, too, do, do, do, do, do. Like, he's, that's in the hair tonight. I mean, that's his biggest, that's his biggest one. But like, that's his biggest hit. And then, like, you said, like, he has just slowly permeated the zeitgeist of pop culture. Like, you go, oh, no, I do know that song.

Oh, wait, that is him. Oh, wow. shit. Like, there's probably, there's probably no telling how many fucking movies his songs have been in, too. Like, how much coin he's making just off licensing that shit. That guy, dude, he's just fucking pissing money. Oh, there's no doubt about that. Yeah. I mean, it sucks. You know, he's doing fine. He's, like, he ain't worried about none of this. I'm just saying, you know, he is fine, but like, well, he's not, he's, he's fine money wise, but he's not fine. Like, you know that he actually just got told a couple years ago, like, hey, you, you can't perform anymore. no you know this no you do a bit right now what do you know no i swear to god like he got told by his doctors like he's got some maybe it was a throat thing or something oh no i didn't know this part and oh yeah it was like a couple years ago and they were like you can't perform anymore like it you you will die uh but he i just saw something recently where phil collins after not performing for a while was just like yeah i'm gonna do it again so

might be about to see, uh, I don't know, I'll tell you what, if he dies on stage, she'll start getting fucking talked about. But yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure.

Hold on just a second. Let me look this shit up just in case I'm, in March of 2020, Collins, Banks and Rutherford announced they had informed Genesis and were to undertake the last domino tour in November 2020, which of course was rescheduled. Uh,

it's currently scheduled for September of this year, though, uh, to come back on. In October of 2020, Collins issued a cease and assist order to Donald Trump's campaign for playing in the air tonight. Yes. It says after a long and prolific career playing the drums, a painful spine injury means that Collins is no longer able to play.

According to Collins owns words in the Daily Mail, my vertebrae have been crushing my spinal cord because of the position I drum in. So he could still, I mean, the guy could still stand insane. It says that it's going to feature his son Nick on the drums. and he can stand and say. He's going to sing, which he sang all of them anyway, but he just can't drum anymore. Which, I mean, that sucks, but I mean, he can still. It's better than not being able to hit it all.

Oh, absolutely. It's better than not being able to hit at all. Because not being able to hit at all, don't hit. No, don't hit. Not hitting, don't hit. Speaking of which, I'm glad that, like I said, we don't have anything official set in stone, but y'all readcom.

W-E-L-R-E-D-com.com. because we should we think we're about to get the clear to start hitting again because tray it's been a long time since we've been a very long time i miss hitting so excited to to to hit again it like because it's like i never planned on no comedian would ever plan on i don't know human re well true but i'm talking about specifically in the context of comedy i never planned on just full stop restarting this way right right you know know, and I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done it on my own. But now that it's happened, it's, you know, it's exciting. Because it is like, it's like starting over except, except you're coming to it with years of experience and ability and stuff. So, yeah, I'm pumped. I'm fucking pumped about it. I'm pumped up too. I was actually just thinking earlier, like of all the little tiny things that I used to bitch about on the road or being a committee. And I'm certain that I will. Yeah, all of them. All the things, baby.

me yeah oh commiserating over hate that's all we did son literally all we did this don't hit and fat and drunk this don't hit and this don't hit none of that hits fuck that it's it's sandwich hits yeah yeah Brian Denahey and this sandwich those are only two things that hit but I was thinking and and and and look look I'm not I'm not naive we will learn to hate again I know this I know this but I was thinking about like so many of the things that I miss and I was like, that's one of the things that I used to hate the most. And I really miss doing that. Like, like, little tiny things. Like, I was thinking like, I can't wait for the first sound check just to go and tap on a mic and be like, this good, fucking good to see you, Steve,

still no leg, huh? And, uh, you know, like, I can't wait for that shit. And just all the little things that I think going forward, I've kind of changed the dialogue in my head of like, instead of saying, you have to do this, you go, you get to do this. Yeah. know, like there's going to be a lot of those. And I genuinely think, I mean, you know, who fucking knows how the first couple shows are going to go? I think that here's my prediction. I think that if you're there for the very, very first well-read welcome back show,

you're going to be in for one of the greatest shows you've ever seen in your life. I think if you're there for the second one, it could go either way. I know. And I think that's with everybody going back on tour because it's relearning a muscle. You know what I mean? but I'm so excited to do it that I genuinely think that this is going to once we get everything polished, once we start working on jokes, because we're bringing to it a level of excitement that we just subconsciously didn't have for a while because you just, I mean, not that we never, we stopped love and stand up, but like this is, this has been kind of a kick in the pants, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Like, dude, you, hey, when you get back out there, you know that it can be taken away from you. So fucking live every goddamn set as if it's going to be your last. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to hit. It is going to hit. And I'm excited. Oh, shit. I wasn't recording.

Yeah, you were. I know. I was really hoping I could get you. I haven't done that in a while. You know what shows up on my screen too. Oh, that don't hit. I forgot you can see now. Well, no, my eyes still don't hit, actually. This just didn't. I don't either. I got to find, you know, I lost my glasses at the beginning of the pandemic and I just haven't gone to get new glasses. Still can't say. I just figured, hell, I don't know where.

Yeah. See, Katie, you're sort of on Katie's level, I think. Thank you. Like, technically needs glasses.

Yeah. But see, like, she'll leave them laying around. She'd be like, where's my glasses? She has no idea. And that right there just lets me know.

You don't name as much. Yeah. You don't know. It's like, I could, I could, I can't even. Yeah.

Like, I literally, I think I could be, like, classified as being legally blind. Yeah. Well, it's a spectrum.

Literally. Yeah. It's a spectrum. very don't hit. Y'all just sort of kind of don't hit. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No arguments for me. You hit way less than me. Yeah. I've really been on a tear on this episode too and all the ways in which I don't hit, but that's all right. For sure. I guess we should explain Drew's not here. No, hell. Oh, right. Okay. Well, he'll be back next week when we review Starship Trippers. Yeah. So, y'all, uh, y'all join us. And thank you all for listening to the well-refer show we love to stick around longer but we got to go tune in next week if you got nothing to do

thank you god bless you good night and skew good night and skew bah it's does it i'm for real let's watch star ship troopers yeah yeah no it's funny yeah it's funny