wellRED podcast - #222 - Trae Crowder: Middle School Ass Whooper (ft lil sister Paige!)

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

This week, everyone's favorite redeneck/hippie/little sister Paige Crowder stops by to talk about Trae taking up for her in middle school, folks who got whooped with an ugly stick, and to talk about Ehlers–Danlos syndromes awareness month!

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion. Because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skew universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery,

getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

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So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know,

put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid.

Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help.

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. Hey everybody. It's your boy the show. I'm sorry I hadn't been on the podcast for two weeks. I'm on vacation right now with my family. If you're just listening to this audio wise, you can probably tell you probably hear beach stuff in the background. Uh,

Yeah, I'm at the beach. Taking some time off, trying to get my head straight, hanging out with my little niece. I just wanted to pop in to tell everybody on the podcast that we're about to start touring very soon. So we'll be plugging those dates. We just started booking some stuff. Very excited about it. But right now, what we definitely have confirmed, DJ, DJ Lewis, huge friends of the podcast, and our very own Drew Morgan will be at the Raleigh Improv on May 27th and Zanies in Nashville on June 3rd.

In order to get those tickets, normally I'd say, hey, go to well-read comedy.com. And I want you to do that. Just sign up for our newsletter because we're going to be going back on the road. But to get tickets to see Drew and DJ, May 27th at the Raleigh Improv, and June 3rd, Zanies in Nashville. You're going to want to go to Drew Morgan Comedy.com. Go see them, boys. Tell them, I love them.

On this episode today, Paige Crowder stops by to talk about a lot of things, one of which is her watching her brother Trey whip a middle schooler's ass. a fun episode. I'm so glad that I was back. I have missed y'all. And thank you all for supporting me and continue to support me. I've had some struggles these past couple weeks. And thank y'all for being a very supportive audience. And I love you. And I'll see you all next time. Listen this episode. It's great. Ski-you. They're the... They're the... They're all rednecks. They like cornbread, but sex, they care way too much,

but don't give a fuck. Next that makes some people upset. They got... Three big old dicks that you can sun. Yeah, well, I'm experiencing right now the thing that kind of always happens to me on vacation, and I could see this happening to you, where like vacation can actually fuck you up like the first day. Because like you go, you're like, I'm on vacation. I'm going to let loose and like I'm going to have pie for breakfast. I'm going to eat everything in the world. I'm going to drink all goddamn day long.

And then the next day you wake up and you go, I am depressed. And this vacation is not even fun right now. So, like, I'm having to spend a whole day of my vacation vacationing from the vacation so that I can be good. So I'm working a podcast. And there's only two ways out in that moment. Keep going. I've done this.

I got to take a day off for my vacation and ruin a whole day. Or. Yeah. Keep going. Keep going. I chose take the day off just because I was like, well, I'm doing this podcast anyways. This will be, you know, I need to be productive. I told myself, I was like, hey, you know, you can, because you do everything remotely, you can still work and be productive while on vacation. So I'm going to try to dedicate myself to that. But like, oh, my God, son. Yesterday. When I tell you it was shrimp. Woo. Woo. All of them. There ain't, there's not any shrimp left in Orange Beach. I ate them all. Yeah. There is Orange Beach.

Gulf Shores-ish. It's like how Destin and Seaside are pretty close. Like, it's the same as that with Gulf Shores. So, you know, just trash. Trash people. Yeah, it hits. I never, I never been there. I mean that as a compliment.

I've only ever been to, you know, fucking Daytona, PCB. Yeah. West Palm, Fort Lauderdale, all that. But I never been. I drove to Destin on accident once trying to get home from PCB in the air before GPS. Yeah. He's like a roadmap and I have a terrible sense of direction. And I drove the fucking Destin before I realized I was going the wrong way.

So that didn't hit. And I don't remember anything about it. It's never been to Gulf Shores. Yeah, sorry I looked bad too because you won't believe this, but the lighting in an Alabama condo. Yeah. Not optimal. Well, this is where I live and it looks like I'm just in a mental health facility.

How long have you been doing with DJ? How long have you been there? I guess since the Friday, you left L.A.? Yeah. Or whatever day that was. No, I came here Monday because I went home home first to mom and dad's. So I've been here.

Yeah. But I mean, dude, I've only slept here three nights. I mean, me and DJ went down to Alabama. We went and saw a key bump. Then we went and did that show. Flames, boys. Live comedy. Turns out, still rules.

Still hits. Was that your, was that your, that wasn't your first show back, though, right? No, I didn't stand up live Thursday on like a house show. Lucy let me close it down and they just said do whatever you want, I think in them doing 25. Rough. And it was, yeah, it wasn't our crowd, obviously. I mean, I didn't even announce it. And, man, it is so fun.

People are dying to hear it, to have fun and be entertained. But we're divided. I mean, like, I did a joke about how divided we are. And they was definitely, I mean, I even had to comment on how like, like literally black people and white people was looking at each other. Like, uh-huh. Uh-huh, right. And the truth. But they were laughing.

I was looking at these rednecks right in their face and I fucking hate your guts and they were dying laughing. Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about it because I've been like writing my set because like it's not, it's getting close to like us what, Trey? You know what he said?

Lisa was looking at the rednecks right in their face going I fucking hate your guts. It was just that it was. You know why that just like I, of course I heard him say that but that didn't like that wasn't really that shocking. I didn't. Yeah, I wrote, I wrote a dope. them. I'm not liberals and got them laughing. And then I got the mamma at their table on my side.

And then I went in and they loved it. They took pictures with me after the show. Yeah, please don't think I was. We just can't pretend we like each other. Yeah, please don't think I was no selling that as if it wasn't funny. But like, that's the most normal thing I've heard like when you're saying. I was like, yeah, of course. Of course he did. No, I know. I mean, that's why I laughed at it because of the Raven. Right. My favorite part, man, I do miss doing shows not in front of people who adore you. I know that's hard, but, um, but, uh, I got a redneck to clap for me wanting to fuck Sam Elliot.

Nice. And then I was like, I tricked you motherfucker. And buddy, he hated that. That actually is the perfect example. Like, if you're wanting to trick a redneck into like some gay shit, like, would you fuck Sam Elliott? They, they're like, out of respect. I mean, I'd let him fuck me.

Yeah. Or like, what could I do? You know what I'm saying? I'd fuck Sam Elliott, but I'd get fucked. I'd get fucked by Sam Elliott. God damn it. You wouldn't fuck Sam Elliott? you fucking queer.

God damn. That's all fun. Let me say real quick, the next day we went and did that show with Mike Cooley and Lee Baines and the glory fires. And buddy, it was red. DJ got ants bites on his feet.

Then he turned the bottom of his feet in the... Which ant bites is what it is? So he jumped out. It's both. DJ said earlier in the text thread that he has stank foot. Yeah, I saw that. I got the stank foot.

And I was like, yeah, DJ got stank foot. But so it's even, it's so funny that the actual, in my head, I was like, it's some sort of medical condition. He's contracted. He's calling it stank foot. But the fact that it is actually ant bites is not only thing better than stank foot. We're right down the road. Of course, he's barefoot.

He jumps out and lands in an ant pile when we get it. So, but he didn't say nothing to me. Don't say nothing to know, but he's so hype about being there. He's hugging Lee's neck. He's hugging our buddy Warren, who's an organizer out of Alabama, who's rad. What we were doing was raising money for minors and their families because the miners are on strike.

So he's getting so high. He's meeting the head miner named Carl. What do you say, buddy? That guy's looking at him. I don't know what to think about this son bitch. His red is on 400. He is running through a barbecue with kids everywhere. I'm like, goddamn.

Where are we at? What do I do with my heart? I wish I brought my fucking goat. DJ is like a horse on Kedaman. all the time. Yes. He's doing that while ants by him and not like the miners'

daddy sister. Yeah. Right. So his feet swell up. Yeah. So he goes to put his boots back on. He's like, God damn, buddy, my feet too slow and he's ant bites.

I don't think I can do it. I guess I'll just be barefoot. So now he's just barefoot all day. So more ants. So he's running around barefoot. There's no doubt more ants. Well, dude, the show, I mean, it was put on by the miners and these organizers.

They did it as low level as they could. It was just on a horse trailer. And of course, rednecks, the horse trailers, the metal lasts longer than the wood. If you buy a horse trailer, everybody knows. And it's hot as fuck. You got to replace the wood. They replaced it with fucking cross ties, like railroad. Yeah.

Anybody who's ever carried them, they got cree so on them. I don't know if that's how you say that chemical. It's how my dad pronounced it working for the railroad. It burns your skin. Yeah, yeah. DJ gets off stage after doing his set barefoot. Damn, buddy. My feet burning like, motherfucker.

It was hot up there. I'm like looking. I'm like, DJ, it ain't hot up there. You have chemical burns on your feet right now. Some chemical burns on his feet. Jesus Christ. That's a great debut back. Yeah.

So then he puts his shoes back on because he forces him on because he's got chemical burns. And we danced to Lee Baines. And he about blew his knee out. DJ may have tore his ACL dancing to Lee Baines in his boots. And then this is sweet but hilarious. A little kid was there and Lee came down the crowd doing, you know, fucking kick-ass guitar. Rock and roll shit that he does.

And the little kid came right up to him and was like, ah, and he was like 11. DJ just started squalling. Yeah. And I had to hold him up. Yeah. He felt the spirit. He about lost his shit. Just, buddy, I can't believe we're going to be here right now.

Yeah. So that was, that was it. Just sleeping on air mattresses. I see what, boys, grateful to being well read. I'll say that. I have a follow up, actually. I saw an interesting thing. on Twitter that I would like for you to clarify since you were there.

This is all I know. And I was going to ask you earlier, I was going to send this to the group thread. And I intentionally didn't because I was like, he'll waste the hits. And rightfully so. From what I read on Twitter, courtesy of our buddy slob, shout out,

slobberhose, one of the greatest of all time. Is it true or how much of what I'm about to say is true that a group of socialists got in a fight with a group of socialists because they thought they were the wrong socialist when turns out they was the right socialist. And then it was fine, but like that happened, like there was like an altercation because you are off and it's funnier. Okay. Matter depending on how you look at it. Okay. Yeah. I want to know though. You're racism, ain't it. There's, there is racism. Oh. Well, actually, let's get into that.

Yeah. Let me tell us a story. There's a group of people who call themselves, I think it's something with a W. United World Socialists. It's something, yeah, it has a W in it. And according to the people who were down there with these miners trying to organize a strike, they are like the Westboro Baptist of socialists. The way Westboro Baptist is Christian, these people are socialist. In other words, I mean, yeah, I guess they are, but they're also these other things. Apparently, they had been down there during all this strike, because this strike's been

going on for a month, trying to tell the miners what to do, talking shit about everybody. They're just real dickheads. They have this whole thing where, like they don't believe, they don't even believe in striking or organized in labor because they want everybody to like set their companies on fire. How do they get that message out? By going around and being dickheads. Right on.

Which is, well, I guess it's not striking or, I don't know, that's just weird. So, uh, the word socialist is in their name. Well, there's old boys down there who are minors now they're, they're like on the fucking, you know, the defense. Yeah. of these people coming back being around. So this benefit happens, and a lot of groups want to come and do their podcast, be a part of it, help raise money. And the guys who organize that are like, yeah, come help us.

You put your podcast out saying you're down here, maybe we'll get because we had online donations. Someone puts up a flag that I think said Democratic Socialists of America. I don't know. It had the word socialist. Are they fine? They are fine. Okay. But the old boys, you know, the miners, the fucking, you know, Papa Joe's and Uncle Billy's,

and a man literally known as grape, saw one who knows who was, and they apparently confronted him. Well, somebody asked DJ if we'd do their podcast, DJ said, yes, he comes to get me, I go to meet this guy. I walk up to shake his hand, not knowing I literally walked into the middle of it. I thought he was getting his stuff out. he's putting his stuff up. Well, now Grape thinks I'm on their team. This big old head motherfucker named Grape staring at me. Like, I don't know what's going on.

That escalates into a yelling match in which a white man said to a black man, I'll fuck you up, boy. I don't know. Call him boy a couple times. Do you think that it was truly a like, I know what I'm doing? Or I call everybody boy and I forgot where I forgot what I'm doing. In my heart, I think. it's both. I think that he calls everybody boy and

especially black people. Right, right, right, right, right. That's in my heart. But the realm of possibility is everything from he was trying to be awful but get away with it to he just calls young people boy. Right. But that happened. I mean, it was bad. That was the racial aspect, but they were at each other's throat calling each other motherfucker and stuff too. And the people that weren't the minors, they left, which good on them and irrespective what happened you know that was the right move to just get out of there or whatever

and then our buddy Warren who we met at Atlanta show I don't Warren I'll say in that story in a minute but he's one of Lee's friends he tried to smooth it over I mean honestly dude

like I said you can look at it one of two ways you can go people trying to come together and do good and we still can't all get along or you can go yeah man fucking red it got red as hell He was out there with the guy. These dudes getting bit by ants and fucking, you know, some shit went down. Yeah, it was a bunch of miners on a horse trailer in Alabama.

So some horse trailer Alabama shit happened. Right. What are you going to do? The fact that it happened to one of the three black men there, though, not a big surprise. Pre-raven, yeah. Well, all right, I'm glad you cleared that up because I saw it on the thing. I was just like, man, it seemed like it was going to be like a pretty peaceful time. Well, they left.

Yeah, yeah. which was a big, they was very big of them. And then it was like everybody kind of refocused on what we were there for. But you raised a lot of money. You got to hang out with fucking Lee Baines and Cooley. So I and DJ got bit by ants. So all in all,

pretty good. 9 out of 10. Yeah. Joe. Yes. You have returned to. I have. It feels like I've been gone forever.

And we said before, you know, one of the reasons that you weren't here was, because you performed in front of a live audience for the first time in 18 months, weirdly, at the MTV Movie Award. So we haven't mentioned that. I'm sure all of our listeners know that, and I'm sure they'd like to, you know, hear about it.

Also, just so everybody knows, my sister will be rejoining us in the latter half of the show. So stay tuned for that red assery. But yeah, Joe, tell us about it. Yeah, I'd like to get this out of the way. somebody commented on somebody posted something on my Twitter which god I'm trying to get better about like just skimming past it that was just like you know Corey hadn't been on the well red podcast in two weeks because he got too fucking big for the show because of MTV and at first I thought it was a joke but then I clicked on their profile to see what it was and they didn't follow me no more. So like clearly they were mad. Um, none of that. I mean, well, first off, yes, literally I couldn't do it the week I was on the MTV movie awards because I was traveling and it was just an insane week for me.

And then as I know that y'all mentioned, last week was literally because my, and I don't want to talk about this, but I'll just say the reason my dog passed away and it triggered some depression. And I literally just couldn't, I just couldn't fucking do it. So none of that is true. There's no, I mean, I'm physically too big for my britches right now because MTV got me hooked on these cookies called Tate's cookies. And I cannot quit eating them. I ate an entire box last night by myself with half a gallon of milk. But yeah, man, it was, it's pretty nuts like to even say. out loud, like took an 18 month break from being on stage in front of a live audience. And then, oh, by the way, your first time is going to be on national, international television. So yeah, it was fucking crazy, man. My favorite, you're talking about being too big for your britches because of MTV, my personal favorite thing that came out of that experience was MTV, like the official MTV Twitter account tweeted a gif of you. Are you pulling it up?

Look at this. How about that? He's got it right there on the home pipe. Look at this gift, everybody. Yeah. For people that are listening only, it's Corey dancing and shoving various concession items into his mouth. He's pouring popcorn all over his face, taking it down the top.

How quick was that, by the way? Yeah, you had that ready to go. I did. I had a feeling, by the way. Yeah. Do you have the other? Yeah, I got the other. I haven't watched it, though, and I don't want to.

frankly. What are you talking about? My actual performance. Oh, the thing you did. Yeah. I haven't even watched it yet. And it's really weird because, like, I watch my,

when I do a buttercream dream rant and stuff like that, like just a regular one, I always go back and watch them because I'm trying to like go, I don't like that that you did or, oh, that move was good. I like the inflection of that. Like, I'm always kind of studying them.

This one, I can't, I can't fucking watch it. I don't know why. Like, it's, you know what it is. It's because there's an audience. It's because there's a fucking audience. And I'm worried that I'll go,

oh, they didn't like that part. You know what I mean? There's nothing to gain mentally, I don't think. I mean, maybe you could learn some stuff, but it's like how often are you going to do the MTV Awards? For sure. But what you could lose is any positive beliefs.

Exactly. Exactly. To me, it was like, it was perfect. It felt good. It was awesome. It was fun. And, but if, yeah, if I watched it, I would just, because I, it's, I can't watch my stand-up clips near as much as I can watch, like,

when I'm doing just a character video. I literally have to be, like, drunk to watch, to watch my. myself. Yeah. But also especially in front of other people. Yeah. The idea of, I know this didn't even get brought up, but the idea of like us playing that here right now on the show,

I would never. I would never even ask you to do that because I know if it was me, that would be torturous for me. I've been in places where people pull out their phones and like to play videos of mine or something. Oh, present and dude. And, you know,

in a way, like to someone's like, oh, you got to see this. It's so great. It's cool. It's flattering. It is flattering.

but I'm dying. Oh, dude. So bad. I'm like, I please don't do this to me. Please. So bad. For the record,

I wasn't asking you to play it. I was actually referring to, and I just let it go, but I was actually referring to, do you have the picture from the fashion? What's the word I'm looking for? Oh, there was,

when BuzzFeed ranked me the worst dress at the MTV Movie Award. And by the way, they didn't come out and say worst dress, but it was one through 12, and I was 12. So I mean, and the one, there was one from Australia. No, I don't have those pictures, one from Australia, which they didn't say it was bad.

They just said they were like, it's a lot going on here. You know, like, look at it. And so I thought that was pretty cool. Like, just, it was really cool for me. Like, like, of course, like, it's a comedy character. I don't care. But like, I do think there was a little bit of like, y'all are critiquing a movie that you haven't even seen because, like, y'all don't know, you know what I mean?

Like in the context. It's like Mark, Mark said in the group chat when you were sharing, when you were sharing with us all these various. sources. People tell me I don't hit. It's hitting it in terms of how you were dressed. Including your own awards. Mark said, he was like, that's fucking stupid though because like this is all like red carpet attire.

You know, like that's a thing. That's a thing with these award shows. Who wore what? Who wore who? Who wore who? Who wore best? Whatever that whole thing. It's like red carpet fashion. And they included you in that, but that you weren't doing that. Right. Exactly. a character. Yeah, I was doing what the buttercream dream would do in that situation, which is insane. Right.

And to judge you by that standard, it's crazy. You weren't playing the same game as everybody else is fucking stupid. I agree. It's funny, though. It's real funny, and I'm glad it happened. I'm furious that they didn't put you in black slacks. I don't know why, but I just feel like that would have made everything better.

I had them, and they had me between white and black and my, my genie who was my costume designer. She really liked the way that the red belt popped. And I just went with it. And to me also, I was like, I was like, this kind of looks like Elvis-y,

like, you know, late, like right before he died, but like, uh, Elvis. Yeah,

but like it was cool. Because like, you know, I don't know if I told you this. Dude, the fucking, uh, she custom made like my shirt.

Those are fucking, and I got to take it home. Those are real Swarvorski. I don't know how you pronounce it. Swovorsky fucking crystals. on that shit. Like, that shirt is expensive as

fuck, son. Well, I understand why they went with white. It came across on screen as khakis. Yeah, and I thought that was hilarious. I honestly thought, well,

that's funny. That's the funniest fucking thing. And, oh, oh, what a pair of khakis. Yeah, I know.

I look like I'm about to go to like a post golf tournament dinner or something. And I'm like, a costume lady. That's on the lighting people. They lit your pants incorrectly. I agree with you.

you. But the red carpet, by the way, that's a wild thing that's not at all what you think it would be. You don't really do a lot of walking. You know what I mean? Like you get there and there's like all these stations and you slide over to them and they take your picture. Then you slide over and they talk to you. But at no point are you just kind of like walking. You know what I mean? Like oh, like it's really bizarre. And maybe now granted, it's like maybe that was a different red carpet situation. but this was like supposed to be the first, this was the first red carpet back from COVID. Like they didn't do one at the Oscars. Everybody was like,

oh, it's the first one. But like it was like a square and you just went to these like, here, this person will take your picture. All right, they're done. Slide over. So like,

I don't know, that didn't hit for me. Do you think that it was done differently than? Maybe. Pre COVID. Also was it, I know, it's two completely different levels of things.

But what, how did, do you remember when we did the red carpet at that? Oh, at Dollywood. Yeah. Do you know what, though?

In that situation, we did walk a little bit. We walked. We walked up and walked up a carpet. I like that one better. And then you stopped in front of the thing and people took the pictures and shit. This will come as a shot to no one. I like the one at Dollywood better.

But I wonder, I wonder if it's like, I wonder if it's not like markedly different. Right. This year than it normally would be. Yeah, it probably, obviously.

It's because of COVID and everything, you know. Right. I feel like everything's, least a little bit different. Yeah, for sure. But it sounds like you're saying, Corey, that it's tighter, not more spread out. Yeah, it was, it was tight. Now, they, they were behind a fence and all the people. I was going to control everything better by like isolating it into an area that you sort of come in and out of. That's supposed to like a big. And we were all, you know, like everybody there had been vaccinated and tested like three goddamn time. So like it was pretty safe. But like,

The reporters and stuff were wearing masks and also a face shield. There was this one girl that she was asking me stuff, and I just went, yep, like I don't know what the fuck she was saying, and I didn't want to look stupid. So she literally could have been like, so are you a Nazi? And I'd be like, yeah, right on. I didn't want to look stupid, so I kept saying yes. That's right. That's right.

That's the show distilled there. Just, yeah. I didn't wish I'd be stupid, so I just agreed. Yeah. But it was fucking wild, man. Like I had, you know, like, we talk about it all the time. Like, like, like, we got complete imposter syndrome. Like, man, it was on like, it was full effect at this thing.

Like, because dude, like, I was like, yeah, I'm doing the MTV movie awards. You know, Leslie's going to have me out there to be wherever. And then it kept it. And I was like, she's the host. So like, this is a big deal. Then I get there. And I'm like, yeah, but like, they'll have me kind of put off to the side. My fucking trailer was right beside Captain America.

because and I'm like, what? And the whole time I was sitting in my trailer, I was just like, that thing, that thought we always have is like, all right, at some point, someone's going to walk in here and go, we've made a huge mistake. We're so sorry, but you've got to go. And it never happened. And everybody treated me so great. And like, I know that's because like, they thought I was talent, you know, but like, but it was fucking nuts, man. Like, Snoop Dog called me young blood or some shit. Like, it was kind of crazy. He laughed. Like, it was. Like, it was. was fucking wild, man. Like, just what a...

He didn't get to know you long enough, know about your blood. You got old blood. That's true. Yeah, my blood don't hit, but like... Thick blood. What's up? Thick blood. That's my fucking blood. But yeah, man.

I mean, I didn't get that close to him because he was behind his DJ thing, and then I just kind of walked off. And I just made, like, I had it in my mind. I was like, if he comes up to you and wants to talk, cool, but like, that's it. Because the last thing I need is for, to find out I don't hit.

for him. But he laughed at my shit, smiled at me and was just like, what up, young blood or some shit. By the way, it's probably racist for me to assume that's what it was. It was just, it looked like that's what he said, and I've heard Snoop Dogg say that before. So I'm pretending in my brain that that's what it was that he said. So there you go. I'm careful. Great job, young man. He called me Youngblood. Wow, lad. That was a phenomenal performance, fellow. You just reminded me a question I wanted to ask y'all. When you were texting as this, I thought of this. Does Snoop Dog DJ? Yeah. DJ Snoopelic.

Okay. Okay. I didn't know if I thought maybe it was one of those where it was like, hey, you do rap and you're black. Stand behind the DJ booth. Can you farm? You know? Yeah. No, no. I, so I didn't, I saw that there was a DJ called DJ Snoopadelic and in my brain I was like, huh, I wonder if this guy gets in trouble for like going, having Snoop in his name. Like that's while. And then I looked at him and it's like, and that's when I text you, I was like, y'all, it's really Snoop Dog. And that's just like, When he's rapping, he's Snoop Dog, when he's DJ and he's DJ Snoop-Deg.

And when he's doing that other shit, he's Snoop-Ly-Type shit. Reggae-type shit. So, like, no, he DJs. And for the rehearsal, at least, he was just playing his own shit, which I thought was awesome. Well, especially because he's such an OG and everything. Yeah, all his stuff is. I think I would see DJ Snoop-Adelic and assume it was like a little Nas X situation, meaning like... That's what I thought.

Some kid who, you know, grew up. Snoop. And named themselves an homage to him. That's what I thought. Yeah, right. And turns out it was the thing that hit harder. Yeah, much harder. I bet he would be cool with it if a young kid did that.

Yeah, I think so, too. And number two, because he took his name from a cartoon character. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. That's true. It's funny. No one ever thinks about that that way because he's been, he's been Snoop for so long and you just take it for granted. You don't think of Snoopy dog, yeah.

You don't think of Snoopy dog, yeah. You don't think of Snoopy. at all. That's funny. The weirder one to me that it gets mentioned in passing every now and then when somebody's like, oh, oh, oh, the, uh, the, uh, yo MTV raps Dr. Dre, not that Dr. Dre. It's like, how, what a specific name for one of them who clearly knew that this dude was named Dr. Dre to be like, I'll just be Dr. Dre too. Like, that's fucking weird. You know what I mean? Like, huh? Well, do you think, I mean, they both were like around in the day. I'm sure, like, the big Dr. Dre. predates the large Dr. Dre. But he was on your NTV rash before. Because Dr. Dre, the famous Dr. probably. Definitely around and active and doing shit for a long time.

I don't, and I'm saying I don't know who predates who. But I think it's very possible that they each independently was like, parallel thinking. And then they were like, fucking I'm not changing. And yeah. But in large Dr.

Dre, I feel like at a certain point, had to be the one that was like, hey, well, he hits harder than me. You have to admit that, right? Of course. But still at that, you're like, I ain't fucking changing. Fuck that. Yeah. Yeah, Michael Bolton on office space. Why would I change?

My name. He's the one that sucks. You can't say that about Dr. Dre. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like, you're, you came front. He hits. But it's making me think that doctor must have been a thing, like MC. Yeah.

I would say. That's what I was going to say. Other doctors. I was going to say that, but before I did, I started thinking. I was like, I can't think of any other. But I thought the same thing. I was like, oh, well, that was just, it's two guys named Andre or Dre. And, you know, doctor was like the little of its time.

But then I started thinking about it. And I was like, I can't think of no other doctors, though. Yeah. Why didn't they do like lawyer, Dre? There was the DOC, rest in peace. Absolutely. Speaking of doctor stuff. Well, I don't know how much.

Actually, they probably don't want me to say there's anything doctor related to this. But it does hit. CBD. It does it. It does hit. We're big fans, big proponents of it here on the show. As soon as I was just trying to do my cute little segue, we've been talking about doctors, rap doctors.

And then as soon as I said that, I was like, oh, I don't need to be acting like we're doctors on here when we talk about CBD. And now 10 rat doctors agree. Rat doctors, 10, yeah. nine out of ten rap doctors agree CBD hits. That's it. So y'all know that CBD hits for us there on the show. We're talking about Caliper CBD.

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So get 20% off your first. order when you use the promo code well red that's whale r ed at tricaliper.com slash well red you can try caliper CBD risk free for 30 days if you don't love it they will give you a full refund refund in full that's tri caliper dot com slash well red don't forget to promo code well r ed for 20% off your first order and we thank them for sponsoring the podcast oh i'm sorry tray i was barely paying attention to you there at the end because i was looking at my new trap phone that I got to go with my new plan from Mint Mobile.

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by big wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I first heard that Mint Mobile offers premium wireless service, starting at just 15 bucks a month, I thought,

shut the fuck up, you liar. Turns out, not at all. No catch. But after speaking with them, using their service, it all made sense. There isn't one. No.

Mitch Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they're the first company to sell wireless service online only by cutting out retail stores. There's no crazy overhead costs that get passed down to you in the form of mystery fees like the goddamn rustproofing of the mobile phone world. Instead, Mint just passes on sweet savings directly to you. So here's what I did. Our friends over at Mint Mobile were like, look, Corey, we're going to send you a, what's them gimmicks? What's it? Sim card to put in. And I was like, I was like, well, you know what?

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep my other service because, you know, I got like, that's just people know me by that number and all my buddies. I said, but I'm going to, I'm going to just do a new phone and I'm going to like compare the two. I think that'll be the coolest thing. So I have one of the leading providers. I have just as good, if not, hell, right now at the beach, I got better service with

Mint Mobile. It's tremendous. I love it. So for people, look, and I got a trap phone. Who doesn't love a trap phone? This is where, this is, here's the difference. I don't have any. hose, but this is where I keep my domino's app.

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wireless service starting at just 15 bucks a month to get your wireless plan all you got to do for 15 bucks a month get the plan shipped to your door for free go to mintmobile.com slash well read that's mintmobile.com slash well read cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month that's three fucking cups of coffee at mintmobile.com slash well read you boy the show's doing it be like me yes be like the show. I don't have a transition, guys. I'm just ready to talk about sleeping. We've been talking about these helix sleep mattresses for the past few weeks, but I got to tell you, this weekend was the first time I went away from it. And when I got back to it, I was so excited to be back to it. Maybe you're just having trouble sleeping lately because of politics or the pandemic or your love

life, or maybe because you're on the road sleeping on an air mattress and you smell like a goat and DJ keeps rubbing his fucking stank foot all over you. Whatever it is that's going on in your life, it's making it hard to sleep down there in Alabama with no air condition. If you order a helix, when you get back to that helix, let me tell you something.

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It matches your body type and sleep preferences, and they find the mattress for you. That was one thing that I liked about it. I didn't know what kind of mattress I needed, hard, firm, soft. This is like choosing between my favorite kind of woman. I don't know. They told me what I wanted. You know what I mean?

So everyone's unique. Helix knows that, and they're going to give you several mattress models to choose from. I love it. I get on it. I sleep like a baby. Andy gets mad at me. She says, you're sleeping better without me. I say, is it because you're not here or is it because of this helix?

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Do that. And it's also time to replace what we were talking about on the show and bring in our special guest. You know her from, well, being Trey's fucking sister and being on the show before. And she's here to talk about what fuck is it? What's it? Reg. You shit. Hey, unmute yourself.

Yeah, it's Paige Crowder, everybody. Lil Sissy. Is she here? I don't see here. She's. Oh, there she is. Hi. Look how pretty.

Hello. Oh. You're glowing. Thanks. You're welcome. First of all, I miss y'all so much. Miss you. Hold on.

Taylor's being ridiculous right now. She won't stop crying, so I'm probably going to have to hold her in my lap. That's cool. I'm sure people will be totally fine with that. Yeah. How you feeling? Pregnant. What does that mean?

Damn. Look at that. Oh, my goodness. That's what, Trey, you look even more like Trey now. What's that thing? God damn, girl. That's a big baby. He's so big.

I'm only 20 weeks, but he's so big. He measures, like, his wife. weight is like 96%tile and his femurs are greater than 95th because, you know, his daddy's 6-6. Yeah. They measure famers. I know, right? That's what Katie said. That's how wild.

She sent us this breakdown. She sent us this screenshot of a breakdown of all her baby's specs, you know, like spec sheet for her baby. And Katie was like, I don't think I got none of that shit. I certainly don't remember them measuring famers. Well, that's what everybody that I've showed that too said. So I think it's just something to do with like high risk. You just go around talking about the baby's famers. Everybody's like, how do you know about his famers?

What? That's really everybody. They're like, I never got anything about that. Yeah. Yeah. So. Well, didn't you have something you wanted to talk about specifically? Yes.

Well, first of all. Corey on the MTV Awards I know wasn't that crazy I mean I know that's like old news by now but I'm not got to know we were literally No we were just talking because this is actually This is the first episode

Corey's been back on the show since that happened So we were just talking about it So you good Well how neat is that God it's so great You haven't even had the baby yet But you're already talking like a Southern mama Because I've been neat

How neat is that? that. It was neat. It was real neat. Did you watch the MTV Awards for the first time in your life because of that? Well, actually, I thought this was the very first for TV and movie, the very first MTV TV and movie awards. Oh, is it? Oh, was it? TV. She's saying they include, all they did was rope TV into. Oh, I didn't know that was. Hey, you got, I mean, I remember, me and, me and Daddy used to watch the MTV movie awards every year, like religiously. By the way, I've since taught the people who are with you, they were like, yeah, did we watch it all the time. I guess it was just me that didn't.

It was like the best kiss, isn't it when Brittany and Christina and Madonna all kissed? Oh, was that that? Oh, I watched that. There's so many huge cultural moments that are from the MTV movie. Maybe I did watch it.

They used to be a massive thing. Yes. Well, the Brittany and Madonna, that actually might have been the VMAs, but they both were huge. The VMAs and the movie awards were both, because MTV was the,

the shit. No, it was definitely movie awards because it was the best kiss category. Oh, right. You know what? I know for a fact, I've watched at least once because I watched the year

that Toby McGuire and Kirsten Dunst won it for Spider-Man. Okay, you know what? I did, you know what it is, man? You know what it fucking is? I have done a lot of pills. I was going to say drugs. And I don't,

and I don't know you off. There's just a lot, yeah, there's just a lot that I'm just like, I don't think I did that, but like, yeah, I sure did. All right. Hell. Well, anyway, yeah, I'm not going to lie.

I watched it till your part. Yeah. And I've turned it. Well, for the record, me too. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. I mean, I went back in my trailer and watched the rest of it. But I was so proud.

I was like, I took like a bunch of pictures of you and then posted it on my Instagram and I never post on my Instagram story. And then when Leslie skewed. Yeah, it was great, wasn't it? That was her idea. I loved it. Yeah, that was like 100% her idea. That was pretty wild.

That was a great moment. There was a great moment for the South, son. Great moment for the word skew. Great moment for the brand, you know. But that was, yeah, that was all Leslie. I was really, and that's where I was like, what if I hand you the belt? And so now I think in KFabe, I have to get another belt because Leslie's the European champion now. Yeah, like I believe that.

Like, I'm committed to this. So like, I've got, I told Amber, I was like, I know it's $1,800, but what the fuck do you want me to do. I knew where this is going. I believe it's in my heart. This is what I told my wife and I bought that fucking belt. So, yeah, it was cool, but it's good to see you, Paige. Well, so speaking of wrestling or champs, whatever, that this isn't exactly wrestling,

but it's kind of like a smackdown. So I made that post on Trey's birthday. And it had the screenshot of me texting him and saying how, like, I'll just randomly picture this dude's hand or head in his hand smashed against the floor. I mean, y'all know this story. I don't know that I do. But also, you guys. First off, our audience doesn't know it.

I'd say, but it's never been told on the podcast, I'm pretty sure. So, I mean, because I had wrote. about it. Oh, I know this. Yep, tell it. Yeah. But I don't think it's ever been talked about on here. But so I posted it. And then when I posted it, everybody's like, I've got to know what this is talking about. So I thought I would just let everybody know what it was about real quick. So when I was in junior high, trade was already in high school. I know what's trade. If I was tray, I'd definitely want this story told. Well, so. It was her idea for the record. No, I know, but I'm just saying,

I would have been like, you got damn right, tell this story. Let them know what's up. Well, so there was these two boys that were just meaner than hell. Like, they just stayed picking on us girls. Like, we literally, like,

pull our pants down, like, every single day. Like, you had to have them. And I know that, like, was a thing to get your shorts pulled down or whatever.

But, like, I mean, you know what I mean? Anyway, so you had to. Yeah, the past from what you used to just, just pull girls' pants down.

It was in more innocent time. Jesus Christ. No, I know. That's the thing is when I think about it, I'm like, boys don't really act like, insolina, like, it didn't become inappropriate for boys and girls to fight until like. I'm not joking. When did you say it happened?

When did you say it finally happened? What, when it becomes inappropriate? Yeah. Goddam Obama administration. Around like age 16 or 17. Oh, I thought you meant like 2012. There was a citywide proclamation. Yeah, right.

No, like it was until. So still to this day, under the age of 16 and Salina. Ding, dang, dang. I mean, they have changed by now. But like, I wonder all the time whether things have changed in that way. If kids are whooping each other's asses across all gender. all the old crazy, like, fucking redneck ass salina shit. I wonder all the time, like, if it still be that way or not.

Do you remember, like, swapping licks, like, where you would just, like, punch each other in the arm as hard as you could see, like, how long you could take it, like. The fucking passing out game. Yeah, yeah. The craziest one. You know who did that? Our fucking teacher.

Your teacher did it, too. He would fucking knock us out all the time. Was he a coach? Yeah. Yeah. and he ain't no more. Of course he was. We did that in Spanish class,

and our immigrant Spanish teacher literally thought we were worshipping the devil because, you know, when you pass out, you start doing weird. Yeah. Dude, fucking, our buddy Nathan,

who is like, this was the worst person for this to happen to because, you know, he was not the... Real dumb. Yeah, you know,

a little bit. And, and he, we were all fucking passing each other out in like the high school library. That boy's brain needs all the oxygen. And it can get it. Right. Yeah, exactly. And when he passed it out, dude, he like, like, dead weight straight down. Alligator arms was like, it looked like he was having a seizure for me. And that was the first time. It's so funny because there should have been so many times before that. But that was the first time we're like, hey, oh, he's a little booked up, maybe. Like up until that moment, it's like, no, it's cool. It's so stupid. So dumb, man. third guy we did it to I never did it and that's why I saw a guy do that and I was like that'll kill me in my recollection I I definitely tried to have it done to me but I probably I pushed out and tapped to her like I don't think I ever went out I must like I think this because we're more involved then Drew but it's so funny though because like it's it's funny that Drew like you made the right decision in doing that but then you went straight to practice and got targeted during Oklahoma drills

fucking 19 times in a row and it's like, oh yeah, at least I didn't get passed out. It's fucking goes into a 300-pounder. Right, that's what I'm saying. But again, you didn't know. I've never admitted it. But I did that, like, quite a few times. Not quite a few, but like, I'd say probably like four or five.

Passed out? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The two things that got me was... I've done whippets. You can, you don't have to. to be ashamed. It's one time, like, I was, like, kind of passed out, but I wasn't, like, fully passed out.

And then, like, so I wasn't passed out until my cousin was, like, backed away from me. And then all of a sudden. That sentence could be isolated and be hilarious. Hipped over and hit my face on the corner of a table because she thought I was not passed out. And the whole hair was, like, bruised and fucked up. So, like, that done me and, too, we had a situation. where we helped a girl pass out and she pulled a Nathan Blakely. It was actually somebody in your grade, but I'm not going to tell who it was.

But, yeah, so she, like, we was like smacking her in the face trying to get her to wake up. And so, yeah, that done me. That done me. Yeah. I've never told anybody that I did it, but now knowing that y'all did it too, then I. Oh, yeah. Everybody did it all the time. We was kids.

Yeah. I was more ashamed of the fact that I didn't do it. Yeah, for sure. Pussy. Well, you're like, oh, it must have been we were more evolved. I'm like, shut up. But anyway, so those boys, like. Oh, yeah.

Like, they really, like, physically hit me and stuff. And, like, well, actually, I remember this one time, he ran up and jumped on his friends back and kick me in the what word should I? Pussy head? Yeah. Codger. Pussy head? In the coach or whatever.

Like gave you a sniz kick. We get it. Like as hard as he could. Yeah. Just to see if you're like, I bet it don't hurt him because they ain't got balls. Oh no. He was trying to hurt me. He was a little fuck it.

And then like, so, and then. Not only would they like pull our pants down when we was outside. They would grab. There was a picnic table. Trey, you remember the picnic tables outside of the gym that everybody sat on. And we would sit on the picnic tables and they would come up and grab our legs and drag us down the hill below it. Like just mean as hell. And like that one of them was pretty big too.

So like he was always the thing that kept me from just knocking the fuck out of the little skinny one. because he would always be standing behind him and like, you know. But anyway, so one day in class, I still remember what started it. What, um, he kept, so my friend had like pimples on her forehead and she would like pick them and so they were like scabs or whatever. She deserved to get pushed off a bench. That's gross. You stop that.

Okay, go ahead. I'm like, don't let me send Tray after you for talking about my friend. I ain't on this shit. And so, and she was like my best friend. and she was like Tray's little sister, too. But anyway, none of that even matters. She, I remember him saying something like, ooh, she has herpes and, like, just kept saying she had herpes all over her face.

And the thing is, is this boy would eat up with ugly. Like, he had a... No, he really was, man. Really? He was rough. You don't say. Yeah. Angry little shit.

Salina, Tennessee. Didn't hit. Trash ghosts, man. And he had the worst acne and blackheads I've ever seen in my life. And that just, and he just stayed on her just to be a little asshole. And she was so self-conscious about it. So he was like saying that to her one day.

So I was like, well, if having pimples is having pimples on your face, then you're eating up with them. And boy, that just set him off, I guess, because I walked. The truth? Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, I was, I mean, anyway, that don't even matter. I don't know why I'm even caring, thinking about it because I ain't seen this kid in years.

And he's nicer now, whatever. And I think he apologized to me, but whatever. Anyway, so I was walking to my locker and, like, wasn't paying attention at all. And he ran up behind me and, like, pushed me as hard as he could face first into my locker. And I turned around. And I was, like, about to fight him. And, of course, he had the other dude standing right behind him. So, you know, we just did the whole nose to nose thing or whatever.

And so, like, these little boys were also very racist. Really? That's surprising. I can't believe that. Yeah. And so they used the N-word a lot. And I don't know if it was at that point or if I had said it to them before. But, like, I told him, like, if they didn't stop, I was going to get my brother on them.

and they you know how I am about somebody talking about my bubby like that's my one thing like you don't go for my brother or like I guess what they said it's exactly as I recall what's that fucking queer going to do yes pretty much or inward lover yeah was friends with that's a good one he was friends with the black boy. Like there wasn't a lot of black people in our school. But there was a black girl in my grade and her

older brother was in Tray's grade. They had no Skybone. Skybone, yeah. Yeah. So they just started throwing David Allen Coe b sides at you, just here and there and everywhere. Loved, love David Allen Coe.

They did. But anyway, so they was like, they said all that pussy ain't going to do that inward lover just like because he was friends with black people or whatever so oh and said that he tried to act black because he didn't wear wranglers and boots or something like that the backwards fooboo jersey was a bit much but you know anyway so that day when I got home like not to sound like school shootings and like that listen, like obviously that stuff is insane

and those people are insane. But I can almost see how being bullied and terrorized and stuff can push a kid to lose their shit. Right. Well, that's a symptom of a larger thing. But they, yeah, I get it.

Because that day when I got home, I'm there and smart enough to know not to take anything to school that can ruin my life and be considered a weapon. But I was going through Trey's room looking for something that was big enough to not be considered a weapon, but that I could take and knock him plum out with it. And I still remember what I found. It was a. a math trophy. What is you saying? A math trophy. I really did have a whole bunch of academic awards in my room.

What's the book? The things that are the books up. What? Book end. Like the way, the glass things that you said. A bookend. Yeah, a bookend, yeah. But I don't remember what you're talking about.

that I held my CDs up with? Yes. You have something. Okay. And that's what I was going to take. And you came in your room and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? And I'm like, I just lost it. I'm like, I can't take it anymore.

I'm like, I'm going to knock the fuck out of him tomorrow. And you're like, what is wrong with you? And I told you everything that had been happening. And I told you about like how racist they was and the stuff they said. So of course, you immediately. got on the phone and called Sky. And then you was like, I'm going to take care of this. And so your plan was to just go.

Okay, so Trey was in high school and I was still at the K8. Yeah. So he would like drop me off for school in the morning and then go to the high school. Right. So he dropped me off and he was like, I'm going to let you out and then I'm going to go park and I'm going to. So my first teacher of the day was one of his favorite teachers. and he was like, I'm just going to come back in and go into your class and ask her if I can have a

which now, I'm like, that would never happen. Of course not. They would never let that happen. That was a stupid play. He was like, I'm just going to ask if I can have a talk with these boys or with the class. God, Tray's going to try to teach again. Yeah, let them know they better stop. I have to talk with boys.

Oh, about math. No, no. No. Well, that morning when I came in, those little punks had already started. started fucking with me as soon as I walked in the door. And I was just, and all my friends are like, is Trey here? Is Trey here today?

And I was just like sitting on the bleachers. And I'm like, yeah, keep talking your shit. You know, I'm like, you're about to find out, you know. And I'm sure you weren't smoking, but I just saw you. Yeah, yeah. For sure, she was smoking. I'll tell you another guy. Yeah, yeah.

And then they started in with calling him a queer and saying like, they would stomp his. little pussy ass and all this other. Weird pussy ass, maybe. They seem cool. Like, I don't know what. And I'm just like, keep on talking about my bubby. Keep on.

Then that's why I started losing it and everything. So by the time Trey walks in the front door of the school, I'm like coming out of the gym crying, pissed off. And like, he looked over and I said, Bubby, they've already started. And y'all, I swear. like so the the junior high kids used to go in the gym in the morning and then when the bell would ring everybody would come out of the gym and walk down the seventh and eighth grade

hall which was like right where you come in the main doors so jr had just walked in and saw me or whatever and he just like gauged in and just like took off running like as fast as he could down that he saw. How fast is that, by the way? You know. Right. But, and so. And not as bad as you think, but I mean, not great.

Right, right, right. But so he saw those two boys at the end of the hall. And the one, the big one that was like acting so tough saw him. His eyes got huge and he turned around and ran the other way and ran back in the classroom. The other one was like walking out to go to the bathroom and like didn't see him yet. And then he looked up and saw him. but by that point, Trey was already in the air.

I swear he like leaked. Like he ran as fast as he could then just like dove through the air and tackled that kid. And I'm not going to lie, his face like boomed off the wall. And then he like, and then Trey got on top of him.

And he like, I just remember him having like his whole head in his hand. And he was kicking his head up. I mean, I ain't trying to get Trey. in trouble anything. That's fine.

I don't... Catching limitations on beating up an eighth graders like... Yeah, I'm saying. Also, you're allowed to abuse his child actions. Yeah, that's fine. He was smart enough.

He didn't actually hit him, but... I slammed his head into the ground. Yeah. A couple of times. It was pretty violent. Yeah. And he was like right in his face, too. And he's like, don't you ever, ever touch my sister again?

Or I will mess you up. like and I was acting so stu. Like everybody else in the hall, like all the girls that had been getting picked on forever were like cheering and like so happy. Like this was like the best day ever. But nobody really said anything at this point because everybody was just like, holy fuck.

And then of course once the teachers like started coming for Trey, but everybody loved Trey and everybody hated this little punk. So like they were just like, Trey, stop, you know. But of course, I was like, don't fucking touch my bumy, leave my bumy. Like acting so stupid, just screaming in the background. And then they took into the office, but they didn't know what to do because they're like, we don't know how to handle this because we've never had this happen before. Public outcry is so in your favor.

Yeah, that too. So first of all, one part that either you didn't see or you don't remember that's scared into my memory is when they finally, it was one of my football coaches, one of the high school football coaches who was a teacher at the junior high, coach Max, Maxfield was like, he was the one who like put his hand in my shoulder and was like, he looked freaked out, not like scared of me, but like, holy shit, this is some wild shit that's happening. He's okay at home. Yeah.

He was like, hey, you, you're all right, you know, to me. Yeah, the brutalized eighth grader. Not the kid bleeding in the bathroom. Yeah. And he was like, well, you know, let's go. And I just stood up and I just started walking with him to the office. And in my memory, I do, I can't remember Page being sort of hysterical and shit. But I also remember every other kid in the school was just standing stone still, just staring at.

Of course they were. But I'm saying that none of them were saying or doing anything. They were just looking at me like, holy shit. As they marched me down the hallway and right there in the middle of all those kids, like by where I was walking was Sessie, Skybones little sister. And as I walked by her, she just goes. Yes, I do remember that. I was about.

But yeah, then I got, because, you know, I was the smart kid and a good kid and everything. I never got in no trouble. I made straight days, all that shit. So, like, at first. They were literally just going to let me get away with it. Of course. With going,

going to the fucking K8 and whipping an eighth grader's ass as a high schooler. Because they were like, what the hell? Because I never done that like that before. And I've told him what had happened. I was like, he was literally hitting my little sister and pushing her into lockers. Yeah, fuck that. But calling Sky and Sessie and everybody,

N-word and all this shit every single day. You know, and I told them all that. And they were just like the principal, the vice. Everybody, I told them that. And they were like, Well, right then. Don't start no shit. It won't be no shit.

You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Hope you do get herpes on your knuckles. Yeah. But then. Nice. But then that kid's dad through a fucking... Herpy senior.

Damn. Yeah. Yeah. He like called to school and threw a fit or whatever and was like threatening to sue them or some shit if they didn't punish me. So I got like, I think it was like six weeks of detention or something. It was a lot. But I was a lot. I can tell me from that parents' perspective, whatever bullshit story, little herpes told them.

Right. Right. This, you know, yeah, we've had arguments before. She's mad at me, you know, whatever. And then like, and then this dude came and beat me up. Well, no, his dad ended up coming to the office. And I was like, you don't want to try to do that because, and I had got like all the girls that he had done stuff. Because they was like, we didn't know this was happening.

And I'm like, no. The teachers absolutely did because this has been nonstop. I'm like, and if you want to keep on with this, like, it's not just me saying this. I have like 10 other girls that are ready to stand up against him and say what he's been doing to us. So his dad kind of just dropped it. But I did feel so bad. I had detention for so long.

Page hit him with the witness list. I heard that. With the accusations here. Paige. So this all started her saying she posted a screenshot of some text between us about this. recently. She texted me about this story. Like, I was just thinking about this story, whatever, and I told her, which is true, what's funny about that is, so this was, Jesus, what, I mean, fucking almost 20 years ago or something like that.

Yeah. A long, long time ago. And when she brought it up, it was kind of a Bader Meinhoff thing for me, because I had just also thought about it literally the day before. And the reason that I thought about it was because DMX had died. And I was listening to someone. much DMX and there's a line and bring your whole crew where he goes, how much shit can you talk with your lips on the floor? Yeah. And I was listening to that. You were thinking about curb stomping an eighth grader.

Yes, exactly. Yes. Lifting weights feeling hard and grieving, you know, over the death of the dog and everything. And then at that lyric, that like flashball memory popped in my just seeing that little pump bitch's face on the floor of the K8. And then I hadn't thought about that in forever. And then the next day, Paige was texting me about it. So that was funny too.

I know that the big guy ran away, but it is hilarious that the littlest one got all the guy. Yeah. Yeah. I swear to God, that is because he is the one that I saw. I mean, I remember it. I walked in. I saw Paige came up to me crying all. She hadn't been in there 90 seconds.

And she was already crying and shit. And I just started looking around. And then I just saw the little one. and I just went for it. I never even saw the big fat one. But he was big and fat, like, for his age, but I was still, I was a junior. You were one puberty away from me. Yeah, right, exactly.

So, Paige, listen, we're at time, but I want, you wanted to raise awareness, right? That's the reason you came on here primarily. Yes. Let's do that. That's why I'm wearing my zebra stuff today, because it's. Oh. I mean, yeah. Pretty popular print amongst our people.

I'm just saying that wasn't. Well, the zebra is our like mascot or whatever. But it's Eller's Danlos Awareness Month. And I always try to always mess around and wait until the end of the month. But and I'm going to make a post to that I want you to share. Okay. Okay. But I hit now too.

I mean, I'll share it. Yeah. Tell Corey to share it too. I'll fucking raise awareness. So whatever. Who loves raising awareness? He does it all time. That's what you're into.

Yeah. Awareness and blood pressure. You know what I'm saying? Well, so I don't know what I should say about it. That's real fast. But it don't hit. It's a connective tissue disorder. It is genetic.

So that's like a whole other thing right now. I am pregnant. And I do feel like a lot of people are going to judge me for this, but I thought about it literally for years. And I decided like life with Ellers-Danlos does suck at times, but I'm still glad I'm alive. So I did decide to have a kid, and my kid does have a 50% chance of having it.

But- You the fuck would judge you for that. That listen to that whole thing before. Yeah, exactly. Fuck them up. God damn herpes face, bitches. Yeah, I'll be my brother on you. These years won't be ate up with the ugly like that little son bitch.

Yeah. Well, don't jinx it. I mean, I don't think he will be, but, you know, I mean, and it's fine. I'm sure he'll be fine. But so he has a 50% chance of having it, but with boys, normally they, are more symptomatic up until puberty and then they typically do better after puberty and some of

them don't even get diagnosed with it because they're not symptomatic after puberty whereas girls usually get way worse at puberty so since i'm having a boy that's hopefully he'll be good and healthy as whole life that's what i hope for um got a big fucking famer i know that two of them yeah two big ass famers it's gonna be so big oh i can't wait to see him. But yeah, but so I have hypermobile type and there's 13 different types. So I do have the least severe as far as like like with pregnancy. There is like an increased mortality rate, but it's mostly with classic and vascular kind.

But I have hypermobile kind. But I'm still being monitored really closely and stuff by like a high risk doctor. at Vanderbilt and all my other doctors and everything's going really good right now. And I'm actually, so with pregnancy, Ellers-Danlos can actually like get, well, okay, so pots, a lot of people with Ellers-Denlos have pots, posture, orthosteatic, tachycardia syndrome, which, and they're finding a lot also have mastell activation syndrome. And they told me that there was like a small chance that I could get better during pregnancy, but like that never happens to me so I didn't get my hopes up and it happened and I'm like the best

I've been in literally like five years or longer and this means you're going to have like eight kids yes keep cranking them out baby my gosh that's the problem I'm like all the time no it's already it's already in your culture I mean you know yeah right yeah no I'm very very you're very easily could. But anyway, so you can find information. So I have hopper mobile joints that can cause dislocations and subluxations, which is, it's really painful and it causes a lot of joint issues and joint pain. And I have like thin, well, they say it's like velvety skin and stuff, but I have like stretchy

skin, which I know that I did this. You ain't got to do all that. Yeah, you do. What? I'm supporting you. I'm talking to me. I said, okay. And so, and then, like, so there's healing issues. It's like, um.

The opposite of Wolverine. Yeah. There you go. Anyway, it's just, it's a shitty disorder and it causes a lot of other problems other than just what the Ellers Danlo's symptoms are. But anyway, you can go to Ellersdanlost.com, and I love the Ellersdanlo's Society.

If you want more information. But yeah, like I said, I'm going to post something and try and share it. Guess what? Or one last thing. I meant to tell you all this. Well, actually, there was this whole other story about no, we don't have time for it. But I was just thinking about this when Tray said that about the, the

DMX Oh yeah like how I text with him the day after he was thinking about it I was for some reason earlier today I was thinking about our Bonnaroo thing when I like

had to go to the bathroom and you thought I got lost and you was like Paige you are my sister I know you can hear me find me Paige I was real fucked up

real fucked up I can do that by the way yeah I'm about say don't let's not because Corey. I was doing that that night. Again, I was very fucked up. Corey believes he can do that all the time.

It's a power that he has. Well, anyway. I'm Cory at Bonaroo. So that night, or it wasn't that night. It was the next, or actually, that was our second, that was our first Bonnero trip. It was our second Bonaray trip. Anyway, where we spread Daddy's ashes. Yes, Drew was there for that.

And then we went to Paul McCartney. Like that's the most spiritual moments they ever had like when they was letting all those balloons off and stuff. And like, and we would in, um, Hey Jude was playing. And then I have that recording on my phone of us all singing, hey Jude. And like, it was like one of the best moments in my life. And, um, I can show Jude that now. And that ain't why I chose to name him Jude. So my.

That's a Jude law, right? No. So my baby's name is going to be Jude Neal. Yeah. And you know where the Neal comes from. That's right. Hill. Her dad.

DeGrasse Tyson. After my daddy and my brother. Ronnie. Stop it. And. And it's all have that, hey, G. Like, the Neal part's already special because it'll be his grandpa and his uncle's middle name.

And then the Jude thing, like, how cute is that going to be when I can show him that Bonnero video whenever he's big. of us all singing with the crowd at Bonner Road during Paul McCartney after Daddy's ashes. And then after it would be like, but don't worry, that's not what you were named after. That would have it. You should probably. What the fuck is this?

I mean, it kind of is. No. No, but I'm saying it sort of is. And Daddy was a huge betel maniac, yada, yada. That ain't got nothing to do with why you picked you. The name just hits for you. Because you could, you could just lie on it. You could just say that, you know.

You could say that part of it. Let trade direct your life and have a better senior. But our dad was like a huge Beatles guy and everything. I've just been assuming that was at least part of the rationale. So you're telling that story and I was like, you should go with that. Hey, honestly, that kind of, I think that's why I've always liked the name Jude. But like, I can't say that because then.

So like, obviously Jonathan wanted his like middle name in there. Oh, okay. You get two. You get both if he knows that, okay, I get it. Yeah, but you've already picked it. And also what? Yeah, well, the baby ain't born yet.

Yeah, but the man don't get to choose none of that shit. No, never. No, I don't reinvent the wheel. I'm not trying to look inconsiderate or whatever. So, of course, I'm going to wait until after the baby's born to say that that's why, so it don't look like I was taking it. Yes, no, I get it.

I wanted the name. I mean, obviously, me and Amber aren't even pregnant, but like, I legitimately, this is not as a joke, I wanted, because she shut it down. I wanted to name my son McNair. I thought that would hit. Yeah. And she's not forward at all. She also, no Brett Farv Jr.

Yeah. You know, Brett Farv Jr. The third is what I wanted. That was the second. That was a compromise and nothing. So like, I'm just saying, you can just do whatever you want. Well, Jonathan said that since I wouldn't let him do Thomas, Edward Patrick, or Brady. He didn't care.

He didn't have an opinion or what it. He was. Since it can't be that. Name it gronk. Name your kid gron. That was, listen. That was literally in the talk, too, but I'm like, Hey, one more thing.

So next time I come on, can we talk about, um. I think we're already doing that episode right now. Oh, stop. Okay. I'm kidding. Okay. Can we talk about, um, raising a kid in the. the South and like terrifying

Yeah, we can do all that. Yes. But for now, let's go. I love you. I miss y'all so much. I miss y'all so much. Go to zebra shirts.com and for awareness. What is it?

Do your pitch. Earlers, Danlos.com. Am I say? E-H-L-E-R-S-D-A-N-L-O-S. Everybody says it different. I say Ellers. Ellers. I think it is Ellers.

It's spelled Ellers. E-H-L-E-R-S-D-A-N-L-S.com. There you go. Pagecrout, everybody. See you next time. You're going to sing, Corey. Yeah, here we go. Everybody joining.

If you know it, thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we, oh, it's been a couple weeks, but we've got to go. Tune the next week, if you've got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night and skiing. Good night and skis. All right. Bye.

They're the liberal rednecks They like cornbread, but sex They care way too much, but don't give a fuck They're the liberal rednecks That makes some people upset But they got three big old dicks That you can suck