wellRED podcast - #223 - The Amish.... What's That All About?

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

This week the boys talk about The Amish and wax poetic (with no evidence or even one god damn clue about anything) about what thats probably like. The boys also talk about the difference in generations (Silent generation, boomers, Gen X, millennials, etc you get it..)WellREDcomedy.com - Hop on and sign up for our newsletter, we are about to start touring again!Sponsors:Feels.com/wellRED for 50% off CBDMintMobile.com/WellRED for a $15 a month wireless bill!Bluechew.com PROMO CODE: RED for your first month FREE 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money.

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They're the they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. people upset they got three big old dicks that you can sun. Howdy there, y'all. Before we started recording, me and the boys were talking about Zoom having to announce that you were recording, or it being a law that you have to announce that you were recording on a platform and how technology changes our laws and whatnot. So I thought I would add this in here for context, because if you didn't know that, I think you'd eventually get it, but we just kind of jump right.

into it right here. So that's what we're talking about is laws evolving and technology and privacy and all that good stuff. So enjoy the podcast. Isn't it weird how like when it comes to things like this, like with technology, we know it technology is growing at such an exponential rate that we are constantly having to adapt laws and legislations and rules and things like that because of that. And everyone pretty well understands like, yeah, we live in a different world than we did 10 years ago, you know, so like monitoring. is an issue and there's always cameras on. Yet guns,

that's been cool since 1776. You know what I mean? I know that's very cliche, but it's like it really like, it goes in one ear and out the other when it's like some technology thing. It's like, yeah, duh, of course. We got to like, you know, and the do,

but like with that, it's like, well, I mean, you know, law's the law. Don't know what to tell you. Well, yeah, it's like, also with the originalists, when it comes to the Constitution, people are like, well, that's not what the founding fathers wanted.

Well, the founding fathers wanted. fathers couldn't imagine a fucking James Bond computer being in my hand. We got different shit going on now. You know what else? Also, they wanted slaves. I was about to say they didn't want the 14th Amendment. It wasn't even there yet. You know what I mean? Like, you can't do that shit. Like, you can't, I mean, we're just screaming into the nothingness on this particular topic. But like, I just, I just don't get how the originalist just don't make any goddamn sense to me. Because, like, first of all, I mean, Trey, you've covered this at length. one of my favorite stand-up bits that you do and just of all time and just that like,

man, fuck the past. Like, why? Like, why y'all want to, like, I mean, I feel like if you're an originalist, you also need to throw your goddamn air conditioner out,

stop going to hospitals like that whole like, do it. Amish. Yeah, do it. They're originalist. Do the goddamn, yeah, exactly.

Do the goddamn thing. But don't pick and choose. Don't be the fucking libertarian that just wants to smoke weed version, which that's exactly what that is. By the Republican that just wants to smoke weed so they are a libertarian. Just pause here. And it's fine. I just want to know.

So are we, by this logic, okay, with people who don't have air conditioning and refrigerators, hating gay people? Like, yeah, I am. I fully expect the Amish to hate gay people. Like, here's the thing. The Amish hate gay people, right? I mean, I don't know, but they've got. Of course they do.

There's no way that they're like, oh, that's- You can't fuck a butt in a barn if you don't have a shower. There's no way that-tank-you-they-fut-butts and bars. But I'm saying, okay. They hate gay people and also fuck butts and barn. Because if you're the Amish, if you're the Amish and you're going by the book, on all the shit that don't hit, why the fuck would you go, oh, but we'll let the one that doesn't even affect us at all.

They can't have trucks because they didn't have trucks back in the day. You know what else they didn't have back in the day? Gays. So also, happy pride month, everybody. Happy Pride Month that just started. Yeah. And no, like, obviously, I'm not for anybody being. I'm not for anybody being against gays, but there's no sense in, like, being like,

it's a huge problem in the Amish community. They stay in their own thing. They're not like getting out there and affecting anybody else. That's kind of their whole. thing. You know what I mean? Dude, I bet they do. I bet they do a lot of fucked up shit. Of course they do.

And everybody just kind of like, everybody just letting them do. Everybody's like, you know why people let them do it? Because they've never seen them do it. I don't want to go out there and fuck with all that. Of course. Let them do. They're out, you know, like, just nobody wants to fuck with them.

So they're just left around the bribed. I don't know. I think they're out there fucking fucking fucking. Fucking horses. Yeah. And fucking. Of course they fuck horses. That's the movie we need to make.

They fuck horses, don't they? dude i was saying about this today them fucking horses i drove by them on my way to nashville they got like little kids out there working which first of all how's that work because because you know they don't pay taxes right you know that right and the reason they don't pay taxes or something they don't make money because when you buy something from them it all goes to the church it's communism but somebody's controlling that money right money's real like when they say the barn or they make their soaps or you go get one them pies.

Jelly. Yeah. You're not paying them with a board. You give them money. Right. And they buy land because they're buying up land. The Mennonites and the homage are buying up land all throughout where I grew up right now. So I'm thinking about that and I'm like, man, it's really, really wild how insular it is because there's not even ever going to be a big revealing documentary about how.

Of course not. You can't get in. Dude's made billions upon or millions or whatever because they don't even know what cameras are. Right. and they're not Twitter, like that information doesn't go anywhere. We live in the day and age where like, like the people that fuck up that do evil shit, they have Twitter accounts.

The Amish don't, you know what I mean? Like none of that information is getting out. And also, the only way you can do it is you got to catch some people on Rum Springer and convince them to stay and talk. And some of them talks about it, but they all talk about the cult-like aspect of it, which is fair.

You know, they're telling me how like it sucked to work all day at 11 years old. Of course, that's what they open with. That don't hit. but they didn't stay in long enough. I'm telling you, it's, it's bigger than that. For sure. It's, I mean, it's like, it's like, I mean, on a very different spectrum, I guess, of

Scientology, the complete opposite spectrum, but like still like cult like recruiting. And then I'm sure like, you know, once you level up and become like, you know, the big boss Obadiah or whatever, you know, I don't know, though. Like, who is the dude? Who is the one making all the money? Just the church? But they're all the charts. I'm sure some sort of elder, you know, they probably got a council of elders or something.

I'm sure all this information we could absolutely find out. But that's what we do on the show. We don't find out. By the way, last week I declared the DOC dead. He's not dead. He's very much alive. As a matter of fact, so what happened was I want to go back to the Amish in a minute, but just a little. We talk out our butt on this show.

It's nothing new. Editorial note from last week. I remembered that DOC had a really bad car accident and crushed his voice box or whatever. And in my head, I thought he was dead to you. eventually died of complications from that, I guess. So I was like, rest in peace. But not only is he not dead, his voice is like fully healed now, and he's just totally fine.

And he's like 53 or something. That's on us. Do it completely fine. So sorry, I pronounced the DOC dead. That is my fault. Anyway, back to the Amish. Yeah, I'm sure we can find all this out, but I don't want to look it up. Fuck all that.

Let's get your answer out. There's got to be some kind of, you know. The boss man. Top Theeton, top theton dude, Amish guy. But not, but not like at the top of, okay, I remember some Tim Allen movie. Aren't they called Ordnungs? Maybe. I remember the promo for that movie, but I don't know if I ever saw it.

It's him standing in a week. Ordnungs, I think, is like their version of like a priest, tribe or whatever, community. Like you're in this Ordnung, which is this particular Amish community. I'm literally getting that from a fucking Tim Allen movie. No idea if that's accurate. Who knows? Anyway, I'm saying, I don't think those are connected, are they? There's not some, like, grand national Amish council.

There can't be, can there? With, like, delegates from or not. Maybe. I think they're, like, insular things. I don't think they have, like, Amish conventions and stuff. Well, the thing. The highest you can rise at any given, you know, it's like being a chief among the Vikings or some shit back.

Although, I mean, hell, they had. Well, there's on. They wouldn't have to have. Yeah, it's like they wouldn't. really have to have different denominations because there's not really much. I don't do a lot of Puritan is very like, we don't interpret. We just, the words say what the words say. You know what I mean?

And we do that. Like, I just typed something in and I clicked on like 10 things, 10 reasons we need to stop romanticizing the Amish thinking, who has done that? Well, I was thinking we're about to get into. I'm about to find out about all this horrible stuff and the evil and the, and it's some Christian website that's like, they don't actually get the Bible right. How fucked up do you have to be? Unreal.

To look at fucking eight-year-olds out there mowing the yard and women getting married at 13 when they're girls, not women, and go, you know what's wrong with those people? The way they feel about grace and salvation. Right. Interpret the scripture. Right. That's a problem with them.

Everything else. They got it figured out. Yeah, it's weird too because what you just said, like all that work, like working in the field stuff when they're eight and marrying when they're 13. That's just how regular Christianity was in the South and the Twin. is not really much different. You know what I mean?

Like we just like, but Amish people don't move on with society. You know what I'm saying? Like they don't do that. Like they don't evolve. Like even the Christian church does because like, man, it's fucked. I mean,

I used to have a bit about it. I probably will still revive it about how like, if you listen to, if go me to 85 to 90 year old couple and like they're sitting there on a rocking chairs at Cracker Barrel, ask them how they met and started dating. It usually sounds like kidnap of some kind. Like she's always 13 years.

is younger than him. He always was like, you know, just coming by our house every day, throwing pebbles at her window and stuff, and finally talked to her daddy into giving him a donkey and her at 12 and then they went to church and that was just it. But like, that's just, that's surely how the Amish shit just still works, right? But like out in society, we're like, yeah, you can't do that no more. Like Jerry Lee and Elvis did it. That's it. After that, no more. But Amish keep going. They apparently own 20% of the puppy meals in America. That checks out. Yeah. have a big shunning issue.

You know, we all, I think most people know what Rumspring is. If you leave, what? Oh, Rumspringer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you do leave, you're out, which is pretty cold like. That's, uh, that's where they got all

a bunch of those Dwight shunning jokes from the office. There's a dude, and I don't know very much about this, but, um, there's a guy, so there's Amish community in Clay County where I'm from.

I'm from, I'm sure y'all have them too. And Amish community there, there was a guy who, who left during Rum Springer. And, So presumably is now shunned, but he started a mattress company in Salina, and it's one of the only successful businesses in Sinai in the past, like, 20-something years.

And it's called Dutchcraft. Did they all have hay in them at first? I don't know what he does, but I'm saying, you know, real hard worker. Imagine that. But I'm saying, like, I'm sure that dude got some stories. Exactly, yeah. But I've never even met him or talked to him. I just know of him being, because his office or whatever is like right there in Slina and shit.

and I knew that he left Amish to do that. But he like hits. Like it's a hitting business. Not like fucking. Does he look Amish still? I've only seen him like from my truck a couple of times. And he had sort of a, you know, I used to be Amish kind of got a vibe to it. Yeah.

But at the same time, not full bore Amish. And I have no idea what he looks like now. I haven't seen that guy in years. It would be such a great front if you could infiltrate. Like money laundering. Yeah. Everything they do is cash. Just like, where'd you get all that money? Hell, we built a barn.

It's all cash. There's no taxes because of religion. Nobody really wants to come fuck with you. They had that stupid-ass TLC show that has been proven to be like completely, totally fabricated and fake. There's no legitimacy to it at all, but Amish Mafia. And this was sort of like, I never watched my $2,000 salary. I think this was like the premise of that. you know because sort of what you're saying money they was just a bunch of shady shit going on yeah like an Amish well mafia and that show was like bullshit but I you know I bet they up to some

shit though of course I don't know if you're having delays but Corey I know that was hilarious thank you I appreciate that I would you say my I called the show my $2,000 salary oh apparently they uh they got pollution issues because they just you know they don't give a fuck about the EPA. Man, they're trying to explain the EPA. What are they,

hold on. What are they polluting with? A fertilizer. They're running it in the bays and streams. Okay. They all, yeah.

They live, you know, there's always a lot of them together. So it's... I got to say, though, if I'm, this is just me

coming from a logical standpoint, pragmatic, which is not normally my base, but I'll try to get there. The amount of otherwise pollution that they don't do, I feel like sort of

cancels that out. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe my mom, My mamma wasn't taking a dump in the creek, but she also had the aquanette out on the porch every day, just, you know what I mean? And they don't do none of that. Like the average human being without meaning to affects the ozone so much. The Amish, let them have shit.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Their carbon footprint is made out of, you know, from a wooden shoe. It's fine. Right. Exactly. There were a contingent of people in Salina, I remember who used to like. So obviously the Amish, they sell a whole bunch of shit.

You can buy vegetables. Their butter hits. Vegetables, jellies, butter. A lot of their shit hits. Yeah. They saw all that type of stuff. No regulations on it. A contingent of people who wouldn't buy stuff from the Amish.

And I remember one of the reasons they would give was they were like, you know, they use human manure to like fertilize their crops with. And I remember as a kid being like, what's the best kind of poop to put like, you're using fucking poop either way. Right. You use the shit.

Yeah, no pun intended. Like, I never understood why that would matter. But some people were always really weirded it. out about first of all i don't even know if that's true that was a rumor but people were like you know they used like human faces right okay no go it's like i don't get it we eat stuff the hits let me let me read this to you guys i'm just going to read it word for word off the richest dot com i don't

know what the fuck that is that's where i found this list the richest dot com that is a website designed to hurt you one of the problems is drunk buggy driving i've heard i think i've heard that yeah it happens more than you think here are a few stories about amish drinking driving that will make you raise your eyebrow. In the summer of 2010, an Amish team was caught drinking in charge of possession of alcohol, failure to stop, failure to yield, and overdriving an animal. Levi Detweiler, 17, started a horse and buggy chase with the cops, which lasted exactly a mile before he made a sharp turn and wound up in a ditch.

That's the horse's fault, by the way. He fled the scene, but of course was found quickly. It doesn't say how he was found quickly, but it's. probably because he was walking around, you know, with that fucking bowl cup from 1984. I was about to say, and, yeah, and he was wearing, like, boots, like, huge boot. And like, it's not like he can get right. Overalls and high water. Yeah, suspenders, jeans.

Yeah. Yeah. A fucking wide brand hat. Yeah, yeah, all that. He was carrying a butter churn. It was impossible to comment on his clothes and not offend all of our fans. Just we all are. All our Amish fans?

Yeah. No, come on. What does the Amish dress like? Let's be honest. Our fans. Trans. They cover up crime a lot, apparently. I guess that's something that happens with any insular group.

Is that like a, is that like a, you mean they like cover up there? They do a lot of crimes and intentionally cover them up or like when their kids does something stupid, they cover it up because it's like for the gray to good, for the gray to good, like that type of thing. Yeah, so it's like rape. Oh, yeah. They've even covered up murder. Now they take care of it themselves, surprise. I was about to say, dude, like, for real, and I'm stupid.

We know that. But, like, in an Amish community, people don't really fuck with them. I'd say that most of them are born in their yards, you know. So, like, when an Amish person dies, do you think there's a lot of them, like, reporting that to the corner and stuff? Or do you think they take care of a lot of that in-house? And you just never will know. What I think the list that I skipped was they just dig hand, they just hand-dick to just do it. So, like, there's just people that have existed.

and there's no way to say this without sounding like insane, but like there's people that have existed, a bunch of people that like the federal government has known that they would have never known they even existed at all. Like on paper, they didn't exist. Like men in black flash, like they're just in a,

like if they fucking dug this person up, there would be nothing. What are you even looking for? You know what I mean? Their fucking teeth prints aren't going to match shit. Their fingerprints ain't even in the goddamn system. They don't have a fucking social security number. This is a non-thing.

I bet they have to have some of that to exist as they do. Right. The assumption I'm making, but I'm assuming that they do death and birth reports and social security numbers somehow themselves, like through the government, because if they didn't, the first time something gnarly happened and the Fed showed up, like, you know,

some, I'm sure there's been big problems of, you know, maybe they had a serial killer amongst them or something. And the Fed showed up if they found out no one had a social security number, I think that would have put it into it, but maybe I'm naive. No, I'm sure that you're right. I'm just sitting there thinking, like,

certainly there has to be babies born that, like, they're like, well, we'll get around to it. But it's, uh, it's, you know, it's the bull weevil season and we have to go out there with our sithe and, like, and then they just don't do it because, also I'm sure that there's like kids, they don't even know their fucking names. They just stay having kids. They're like, oh, the one with the no mustache and the beard. Like, I don't know.

That's one of them. So, this sounds made up, but the final thing on this list. is that they hate America but love Mexico. What? That can't be it. How do they even know about America? It says many Amish went to Mexico over a century ago, lured by large plots of land and no military draft,

and they ended up incorporating tortillas and sauce into their own dishes, which made it way back. There's Mexican Amish making salsa and tortillas and shit. I got to know. More recently, Amish go down to Mexico for major surgical procedures. I don't know they're allowed to do that because they don't have health insurance, and it's cheaper down there. But they hate American, you know, individualism.

I have a fucking backer leaf around it and hope for the best. That's what I thought. I was about to say. Have your horse doctor shoot you if you start feeling too bad. Yeah, does this change your assessment of the environment stuff, Corey? Now that you know they're just flying to fucking Mexico for surgery, like a drug dealer. A little bit because like here's the thing. Like, I know for a fact that pretty well in every religion, there is hypocrisy where it's like,

oh, I thought they weren't supposed to do that. And like, well, they're not. but they do it anyways. Like the only thing, like, like, I've always said, like, like, I think the reason that Christians get so mad at Muslims all the time in Islam is that they're like, man, say what you will, but like, they fucking go by that book. You know what I mean?

Like, God damn. Like, they really, they really do, man. They follow the fucking rules, even when they don't hit. And whereas we, when they don't hit, we don't follow them rules, which, you know, that Levelle Crawford bit about that where he's like, I don't, you call can't even front, day care way more about they got. You know, I know, because they blow their themselves up. Yeah.

got you try to tell some some brother to hey jesus said you should walk in that building with a bomb strap to your chest i don't know jesus like that i don't think i've ever heard that but that's funny because when i was like probably 19 or 20 i pretty much had that same bit bet you lavelles was a lot better but it but it was pretty yeah the whole thing was just to be making a point of like i think it's a jealousy issue of like man they're just way better to their god than we are ours but like for real though like they're like you you think in amish you're like oh well no that they're not, they couldn't do that. But it's like, yeah, people are full of fucking shit.

But to me, it's like, again, like I said earlier, if you're going to completely cut yourself off from society and technology and all the fucking stuff that hits just because you're trying to live by the Bible, then why would you make, if you are going to be a hypocrite and make concessions, why would it be for just little tiny dumb things? You know what I'm saying? I'm with you. I was going to say, um, they don't hip for me.

I think they're a cult. No, they don't hit. And for the record, fucking come at us. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do you something, Mammish? Yeah. Oh, how'd you hear about it?

Yeah. Oh, you just had a phone. Yeah. Exactly. Calling yourself out. It doesn't compare in any way to all the shit we've already said about them, but just a little fun fact that y'all may already know. You know how they're like the Pennsylvania Dutch, right?

And like I said earlier, Dutch craft and all that shit. It ain't actually Dutch. They're not Dutch. it's it's uh it's like a it's deutch they're german i mean like they're not all oh well this makes sense they're not a hundred percent like german but a huge the that the word dutch actually is a what's the fucking word for like it's not bastardization but it used to be dutch and pennsylvania dutch which meant german and that somehow got turned

into dutch and now it's just pennsylvania dutch and dutchcraft and all that type of shit but it ain't actually not it's not actually like netherlands dutch it's actually german German descent. Yeah, that happens when like a word travels to several places that don't have a specific sound for a thing. And then they start doing their own spin with it. And then the next thing, it's like a, it's like an international game of telephone with the pronunciation of a word.

You know what I mean? Right. Well, it's like in the South, we've done that with so many fucking words. Of course. Like Versailles, Kentucky, you know, and shit like that instead. It's spelled like Versailles and it's named after Versailles, but we call it Versailles. Lafayette. Lafayette.

Lafayette, yeah. There's like nine Lafayette, and they all said different, different states. The one right beside where I'm from is Lafayette. So you're saying that they're German. Mostly, not entirely, because I did look it up, but mostly, yeah. I mean, they've been here for fucking forever, but originally, no shit. You know, because of, like, persecution, or was it like, you know, like the people now who move into my town? Because the liberals in Minnesota are too gay or whatever.

Is it like that, or was it like we were getting shot at? Shot at. The devastation of the 30 years. war and the wars between the German principalities and France caused some of the immigration of these Germans to America from the Rhine area and that was in the 1600s. And that's when they went to most of Pennsylvania and the Quakers and William Penn and all that. The Rhine area is unbelievable. I don't know shit about it.

I went there kind of an accident just on my way to a different city with Andy on our honeymoon. We stayed three days. I can't believe they left out and ended up in fucking pencil. Hucky. Can you just in the most beautiful play, the black forest on one side of the Rhine River, you just show up in fucking pencil tucking. You got to work when you're at. Yeah, but if the rhyme was fucking war-torn and it exploded all the time and shit,

then, you know, you can kind of understand. Yeah, I mean, you know, Vietnam in the 70s looked better than over here, you know, like aesthetically, you know. From the people who brought you Hitler, the fucking Rhine War. Yeah. And I mean, the Kremlin's something else, too, for what it's worth. You know, that shit looked wild and cool. but like,

mm-mm. Dude, Clay County, Tennessee is fucking beautiful, but I wouldn't do it. It's also really cool, but I'm sure it wasn't in 1600. Yeah,

I don't like anything was super cool in 1600, man. Dude, it wasn't, man. Maybe it was like Babylonian pals houses with the fucking hanging gardens and all the concubines.

I bet that hit. All the, that was way further back than 16 years. I'm so fascinated by that type of shit, the like seven wonders of the ancient world. or whatever and all it's a wild domain that people did stuff like that so fucking long ago. Yeah.

It's crazy. It's wild. Like all like even not not even fucking. I mean, 1600s is crazy, but like literally just go back 100 years and I just hear these stories. And I'm like, my God.

And the obvious answer to how the fuck did y'all do it was like literally there was no other options and that shit. Like they're like like even though people don't want to believe it in 500 to something years, people are going to look back on our time right now and go, I don't know how you even fucking walk down a story. for sure. That's going to happen. We can't fathom it right now, but they felt the same way. But like I was looking at, and I made a halfway joke on it, but I'm being for real.

Like I saw somebody just put up a, I saw it on Reddit. It was a picture. You remember the picture of all the dudes sitting on the skyscraper eating lunch, that famous picture. Yeah. Well, somebody. A version of it as a magnet on my refrigerator. Of course you do. So there was, there was released a picture of the dude that took that picture.

And he's like on a singular. with both his legs wrapped around at holding this like insane camera. What? You know, like, who took that picture? That's what I know. Of course,

that's where that went. But like, that did have to be a thing, right? And I'm sitting there and I'm, the way I'm internalizing this and everybody's like, man, these people were so brave and wild and yada yada back then.

I'm like, okay, first off, we still got Tom Cruise doing stunts. But number two, I just think that back then people were just like, you know, we're in the past,

right? If we fall, we fall. It'll be better. You know what I mean? Who cares? Or if we die? Okay.

Hold on. Are you saying this was like a picture that was fabricated to illustrate? No. No, no, it's a picture. Never thought about what the camera man? No, hold on. Because it's crazy. Let me look at it up.

Literally who took the picture of the guy taking the picture? I don't know. He must have set up a timer camera, took a picture himself. No fucking way they had timer cameras. Dude, here's a deal. Timber cameras, right? Well. You had to clicker, a clicker, a clicker, I mean, distance.

Yeah, but, hold on, let me find this shit. I mean, it might be fake, but either way, this type of shit has happened. While you look for it, that thread you're going with, I think, if I'm understanding it, is basically, this dude was 26. He was like, look, I only got a year left anyway. I might as well get this fucking bitch. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Hold up.

No, they just did it because it was like, yeah, it's just what you do. Yeah, you probably die. We all mostly die. That's what happens. I've made it 30 years. Hopefully I won't end up in a can of sausage. You say that? No, because, oh, hang on, that's my fault.

Let me. Look at some bitch. I want to see you quote Trace's face. How do I do that? I'm sharing my damn screen. Y'all not. I see it. I'm trying to figure it out.

That's what I'm saying. I know, right? He's already said there's no way. It looks real to me. It looks real to me too. I mean, I think here's the, here's the fucking deal, though. Here's the fucking deal, though. It don't really actually matter whether or not that's real because the dude, the dude sitting on the fucking thing is exactly the same thing as this.

Like, they had to shimmy their ass. over there that way. It just reminded me of how fucking wildest shit that whole picture is. And the fact that like, in that picture, it's like, yeah, those dudes don't even look scared. I'm like, honestly, those guys have woken up every single day of their life scared. You know what I mean? For other stuff. If you're, if you're doing that job, you're like, yeah, I mean, I got to do it.

Like, I'm not scared. You get stifless from a spoon. Who cares you fall off a fucking bridge. But my fucking, yeah, man. It's like, again, like people want to go like, oh, they were just better and braver men back then. It's like, but they had to do that thing. You know what I'm saying? They literally had to do that thing.

Like, there's stuff that we're doing right now. There's dudes of the equivalent bravery doing things right now that in 100 years, people go, oh, my God, I'm so glad that people in 2021 had the intestinal fortitude to do that because we're not brave enough now. Like, that doesn't, that's just a dumb fallacy to me, I think. Yeah, I'm 36. I'm wearing pink tie-dye. Like, yeah, man, I'm fucking brave.

I think they kind of imply. I don't know. We are pussies. I'm just saying there still are, there were pussies then too. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But I think you are,

you and the people you're talking about are actually making the same point, but from different, uh, I agree with you. What I mean is like when they say like they were fucking men were men back then, I think they mean because like times were tough and you had to be hard today. Everything's soft and these little pussies today don't know shit about having to

fucking be really there. And their parents were saying that to them though. Yes, that's true. Right. you know what I mean. That's what they always say. That's really what it is that bothers me.

And why, like, every day, dude, I, like, at some point I catch myself. And I'm trying because I know what getting old is, is every day you catch yourself less. And then eventually you stop caring to catch yourself. And then you become the kids these days guy. You know what I mean? But every day I catch myself doing that because I'm trying to think of this logical fallacy. I'm like, dude, every single you're, oh, yeah, with kids these days. I'm like, your parents thought you were pussies.

Their parents thought they were pussies. Their parents thought they were pussies. we're definitely going to think our kids are pussies. But also, if you actually look back through history, one thing that has always been true, maybe the kids were more pussy than you, but they were damn sure smarter. You know what I mean?

They were damn sure smarter. I think you have a harder than boomers. Y'all may have heard this. Okay, first of all, I agree with that. Would you say, Drew? We have it harder than boomers. We absolutely have it harder than boomers. I want to come back to that.

We've got some reeds to do, but right before doing that, you all have probably heard this before, but just on the note subject to what we're talking about. Read you a quote here says, The children today love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority. They show disrespect for their elders,

and they love idle chatter in place of work. You know that quote? That was Eisenhower. Socrates. Yeah, there you go. 2,500 years ago. Well, I'll say on that before we do the reads. Plato was a little bitch.

I think you can only, to have that conversation fairly, you can only talk about your own society. Do you know what I mean? So like in America, I think every generation has been correct to call kids' pussies until the boomers started doing it. Right.

But like across the world, Socrates might have been right. I don't know what was going on and was it Greece? Yeah. Yeah, sure. A lot of butt fucking. Yeah, a lot of butt fucking.

And I believe, puking. Wasn't that a gimmick for them? They like to puke. I've heard that that's a misrepresentation. The vomatorium actually actually wasn't a vomatorium. It's called a vomatorium because that's where the building vomits the crowd out into the,

that's so stupid. It's not a place where you go and vomit for fun. I think, I think that's the actuality of it. But yeah, the sort of myth is that they had just hit, hitting vomit rooms where you just go and just throw up on slaves or whatever. You know what else? You know what else is a myth?

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you think every generation has been correct when they talk about the softness of the younger generation until boomers showed up? I think that boomers are and were so soft that all we could possibly do is equal them. I think Gen X was probably tougher. And I think we're tough as shit. I'm so sick of this millennials or pussies thing. It's like, millennials are pussies because they haven't been in safe spaces. Oh, did we out loud in spite of getting ridiculed by our fault? older brothers and parents say that, you know what?

I want my own fucking space to hang out. Do we stand up for gay people and trans people and say they deserve space spaces because they don't have them in fucking, you know, out in the world? I don't buy that shit, especially when you talk about the economy. We're keeping it afloat. We've kept it afloat. Working 90-hour work weeks for even if it's for a $400,000 job, the shit we've done compared to what boomers weren't willing to do.

Right. We kept this fucking country. afloat. Well, also frankly. A second job working with Uber or like I said, even if you're on partner track and you might end up a millionaire working fucking 90 hour work weeks. We did that when they didn't. By and large, they did not do that.

Also a thing that people say all the time, like, you know, I want to work hard so that my kid's life is better than my life. It's everybody's goal. And so like parents want to do that. They're like, you know, if my kid's life isn't better than what my life was, then I'm a failure as a parent. Well, like, generationally, that also has to work out. if the generation raises a generation and their life is not as good as yours,

then as a generation, you failed. And like the boomers, fucking frankly, I mean, they, they, it was like,

oh, hey, it's $200 to go to college. And then you'll graduate and then you'll work here. And then by the way, this house pretty much free. You want two cars? Awesome.

And I think that it's probably easy if you're in that situation to kind of just float. And then not know anything. And then when it comes time for other people to be born, you're like, well, it must still be the same. Why aren't they do? doing the same thing.

I think you're really on to something too with the making it better because I think a lot of it's defensiveness. When they say we're pussies, what they mean is we complain. Yeah. And we let people know that things are bullshit. And I think that rather than reckon with the fact that they fucked up. Right. We're Reagan and maybe even a little bit before that with lobbying efforts and how corporations

have just fucking, uh, this whole country. I think rather than own up to that, they'd rather just call us bitches. I mean, there's definitely, dude. You know, I see some of that in myself sometimes when, you know, you're, you never, you never want to admit something that you did. You know, the way they say, um, success has many fathers failure, none, you know, if something works, there's a fucking line of people like, that was us. We, we're the ones that did that.

But when something doesn't work, it's like, whose fault was this? Nobody's fucking showing up to, you know, so we never want to obviously admit, oh, no, I didn't do this. It's just the, you are a bunch of pussies. Well, I mean, what do you, what do you? So if we weren't pussies, would we still have, would the student debt be less somehow? I don't understand that. So I wouldn't be in debt $125,000 in a thing that you made us believe that if we don't do,

we won't be able to get a job in this world. So if I just wasn't a pussy, then the, no, it'd still be the same. Then maybe I'm not a pussy and just saying, hey, this is kind of a fucking scam and y'all didn't have to deal with it. And now we're literally slaves to you. It's also a scam they invented. Right. That's what I'm saying.

I don't believe the people saying, well, I paid my student loans. I don't think they necessarily personally invented it, but their generation invented that. They invented everything about what I guess I'll call the education industrial complex in America. Yeah, my dad, me and we almost got an argument the other day. And you're going to be proud of me. I walked out of the room. And granted, he was just like, he was trying to just show me a funny meme, but I know that he believed it is why he thought it was funny.

What are you laughing at, Trey? That's just fun. I don't know. That's just a funny. It's just a very, like, of our world type of anecdote. Yeah. Y'all were on vacation in Florida, right? Yeah.

You're like, yeah, I almost got into it with my dad because this meme, he showed me a hit for him, did not hit for me. Yeah, I had to just walk out of the room. Yeah. I mean, they are. But it was, they do hit, but it wasn't the meme. It was, again, like, in order for this meme to have hit for him, he had to agree with. behind it, right. You have to, in order to think something's funny internally, even if subconsciously,

you have to believe in an ultimate truth for it a little bit. Yeah. Maybe there's some things, you know, but like, my point is, is this wouldn't have hit for him if he didn't believe it. And I know, and here's why, because it didn't hit for me. I mean, I understood the humor behind of it. I get the, the meme was like, uh, it was just, when I say a meme, it was a screenshot of someone's tweet that had gotten passed around.

Same thing. And the tweet was like, maybe. instead of complaining about student loan debt, don't make your, don't make your major feminine dance class. And I'm like, okay. That's also hack for the record.

I know. That's what, that's what made me the most mad. That's what made me the most mad. That's because that's always the example. And I'm like, and I'm like, okay,

let's break, let's break it down. And this is what I want to say, but I'm like, let's bring it down a couple ways. I, I kind of agree with you. Like,

if you do spend a shit ton, of money on a thing that you know is not feasible and whatever. Maybe a little bit of that's on you. But also, though, it's not like everyone in college in student debt took some dumb fucking major. You know what I mean? There's plenty of business students, lawyers, doctors that are in debt. I would say the bulk of them who have the most students.

Because it's more expensive. Are the more like higher level curricula like that. I mean, fucking Drew law school. Right. Most. My sister-in-law is a pharmacist, and she had fucking triple-digit student loan debt when she got out of pharmacy school with a doctorate or whatever. That shit costs more money. I know.

And I would, and I don't have any numbers in front of me, but just like anecdotally talking to those type of people throughout my entire life and knowing people that go to college and major in feminine dance ballet, their college is paid for because they're a second generation fucking New York money or something like that. And they're allowed to go fuck off. And for the record, awesome. Like, there's part of me that hopes that everyone that was born with millions and billions of dollars and will ultimately be fine decides to go do a thing that kind of don't matter because then they're not plugging up the workforce for people who are really trying with upward mobility that could need that good job. You know what I'm saying?

Because they already got it. But that's not the reality of any of that shit. And also, just because some people fuck around to get into it, that doesn't, that still doesn't mean that should cost $125,000 fucking dollars. Well, and let's also talk about one. it does cost $125,000. And then someone like your dad says, well, Drew got a law degree. He can become a lawyer and pay that off.

Let's do the math. $125,000, not that much when you look at how much he could earn. Okay, but let's also talk about how they restructured debt. They passed laws. I mean, Biden did this one. I'm pretty sure. But they passed laws to where you can't declare bankruptcy and you can't restructure your debt around your student loans unless you go through one way.

You're going to do it one time through the fed. Let's talk about the interest rates. on these things and how you can pay back $80,000 and you've knocked $10,000 off. And there's no other loan structure that I know of in the American system other than maybe credit cards where that happens like than with student loans. Well, who created that? It's just rumors. And now they've gotten with the Gen X techies and they're making it worse.

Everything's a nightmare. It's also like when you really just try to, if you break it down from a logical standpoint, and I agree with some people who are like, hey, you know, look, college ain't for everybody and people really don't need to shame people for going to a trade school. I agree with the sentiment of that. Like, yeah, obviously nobody should shame somebody for wanting to go to a trade school. And also people should know, like, you know, there's nothing wrong. Like, if you look, you can make, dude, you can make a shit ton of money being a journeyman

electrician, a shit ton of money. But the part that's offensive is when you really break it down. And what they're saying is, is like, hey, unless you were born with a. family that can pay your full college, you're either going to be in debt the rest of your life, or why don't you just become a plumber, you idiot? Like, it's literally setting an entire group of people on a course and telling them straight to their face, you have three options in life and then wondering why that person feels resentment towards you and a system and then wants to tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps

while your fucking throats on their goddamn neck. It's just like you don't even have to follow the. logic trail that goddamn far up to go to, this is fucking bullshit. Like, and this is just you, like, you're so, you're so designing a system. It's just you're trying to make slavery without being able to have slavery. Because if someone's constantly in debt to you, what's almost the difference? Well, you said it all. I mean, not, for the record, I'm not comparing student loan to actual colonialism slavery.

Please don't think that. I'm, my, my pause was support. You said it all right there, son. know what to say. You did it. Well, I got, that's what I was about to scream at Orange Beach and I didn't. Yeah, you got time to work on it, been festering. I was going to shout out the art of the boomers because I felt kind of bad because I

love a lot of that music and stuff. But I just typed in hippies, boomers. And it turns out a lot of the social movements in the 60s, when you look at the leaders, almost all of them were from the silent generation right before. Almost every single one down to a man and woman, all the feminist leaders, all the Like Abby Hoffman wasn't a boomer. Abby Hoffman was not a boomer, great example. Martin Luther King wasn't a boomer.

The people who the boomers liked. Well, listen, I know a lot of people because I know people are going to say this. It's like, I mean, you know, we've been here so many times before. We have plenty of boomer fans. Oh, my God. Yeah, of course. Not y'all. Every time we get into this area, which we've done a lot.

And me and Mark have done it too. And it was funny to Mark when he started, all people started coming after him for like, being ageist or whatever. And he was like, what the fuck? I'm just talking about, you know, the shitty ones.

Of course, I don't mean all of y'all. Of course, we don't mean all of y'all. But yeah, I'm just saying, I know. I mean,

I was looking at it with this. When you could, it was maybe one or two that hit for me. Turns out, no, there's none. Well,

I mean, obviously. They were older. They weren't even boomers. So there are my boomers that hit. Yeah. The way I look at it is if you don't, if you're not that way that we just described,

then obviously we're not fucking talking to you. ignorant southerners and stuff. Like, yes, sometimes it definitely, I'm like, man, you know, there's a lot. But I just go, they're not talking about me. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not one of them. Yeah, she just said you got better about that. I'm saying it's a natural, it's a natural.

Of course it's a natural nation that people have to do. Of course it is. Back up. Because, I mean, again, we all have been that way. Of course. People talking about the South and shit. You're talking about like, I've evolved and I'm no longer do that as much. Right.

In this situation, that you just, boomers is the name for that generation. if we have to, and if we drop the name boomers and we just go by the fucking dates and if that don't make everybody happy, like there's still no denying it was that generation and that it was the people that went from flower power to us Reagan guy, am I right? It's that fucking generation of people. Again, I know that all y'all ain't them, but like that's just, y'all are just called boomers. You know what I mean? Like, just I'm called a millennial.

Don't know what to tell you. It's also like don't prove us right because we're saying two things here. We're saying that generally speaking, the timeline of America, when wealth started going directly up and lobbying became a problem and Reagan and all those other things, just time period wise, that was on y'all. Right. And you started the environmental movement, but then you let it fall apart, et cetera, et cetera. But then we say, they get so upset with us, they call us pussies, but they can't handle it.

Don't, don't prove us right. Don't come after us. Yeah. Don't be the but one. But then I'd also like, yeah, I know my own. hypocrisy because like I you know when uh everybody will start you know shitting on shitting on the south and I'll be like I'm from Georgia we flip blue god damn it yeah what about it and I'm like they're not talking about you Corey you're one of the good ones so like yeah I get it

but I just don't know how to have that conversation without using boomer which is just a loaded term exclusively to boomers is it like they're the ones to get mad about it it's you know what I mean that's a lot of words though to be fair it does but like I'm not going to call it a slur but Most insults, it only affects, only makes the people mad who are insulting. Well, maybe, but yeah, now you're right, I guess. Well, here's a boomer story. There we go. Religious hypocrisy.

You're not apocracy. This is just funny. My mom is very loving, and she's coming around on accepting a gay grandson. And we were talking about going to pride. Okay. And he's interested in pride and he wants to go to pride. And my mom's only response to that in the negative was, I just don't know why they have to call it that.

Come on. I mean, I have to say that that's close. That's bad pride is what I most feel funny. Oh, man, does he? Because I don't even know that bit. Yeah, he's like on the road, you know, where he's like, when I look at the. How about his gay son or whatever?

I don't know. He does. And I don't want to butcher it. I don't want to butcher it either. But he's like, yeah, when it's, he's like,

and I'm still in a line from one of your jokes, Drew, because just because it makes sense. And he's like, yeah, when I see my son up there, wearing a rainbow balloon on his head with a cock sock, pride is the emotion that first comes to my head.

And he goes, okay, that's my boy right there. I'll tell you what, I'm so proud of him. He loves dicks in his mouth up his ass everywhere. This kid he doesn't get enough. He can't get enough.

He can't get enough. All right. My bit will be different. I'm still going to do it, but it will be similar. My whole thing is she went in the whole thing about why pride is bad. She hates cocky people. Now, this is true. My mom cannot stand arrogant people.

She doesn't like showy things. I pushed back a little bit. I was like, I've never heard you say this about an American pride flag or an American pride parade, you know, up there with all the, you know, we're very proud. I'm proud to be an American. But she is being honest when she's like, yeah, I just hate it. I hate cockiness. I hate that, you know, pride before the fall. all that stuff.

And what tickle me is one sin at a time. Now look, I'm coming around on all this butt fucking, but don't be proud of it. Don't be proud of it. Be ashamed like the rest of us. Because that's a sin. It's a sin to be proud of your butt fucking.

That's not, I mean, that's a really good angle. And, but that's, that's so, usually it comes the opposite. For me,

it's like, it's not someone who has a problem with pride. It's that the first thing they'll say is, imagine if I said, White pride, what would happen. It's like, because that always means the thing that you say it don't mean. And you know it does. Like, every time.

We had that a year or two ago with black pride and white pride. And to be fair to my mother, she was very receptive. I was like, well, you can have Irish pride. It's difficult to have gone in pride when you don't know if that's where you came from because these people were all, it was a diaspora. Also, it just goes back to like it's, it's reactionary. and it's the reason that you have to say black pride is because the white pride is inherent. That doesn't have to even be said.

It's just like the white pride has been like it's when they say it's when they say with the deal. That's what I'm saying. It's the whole thing. It's the whole thing with like, it's the whole thing where I've said this a million times. It's like they go, what if we had a television program called white entertainment television? That's all of them. I'm like, guys, you're looking at it. Here's where you should be looking at it from.

You should look at it from like first off, black people would love it if they didn't have to have their own thing. The reason that they had BET was because they were like, hey, they're not going to do it for us. So we have to have our own thing because like, yeah, man, I don't know if you watched NBC on Thursday nights back in the 90s to early 2000. But like that was WET. That was what like it is everything else. So like all of that is in response to and in reaction of. And so like the white pride thing has just that's your whole existence.

Getting the cab the first time, white pride. You know what I mean? like it, that's just the, that's, that's, yeah, please. That's, that's the base. Like, that is the fucking base. And just like the whole, like, I don't know why, you know, I don't mind homosexuals, but like, I saw a bunch of people talking about Corrella. They're like, they're promoting the gay agenda and blah, blah, blah, one gay character

on a movie does not promote the gay agenda. So, but if it does, then it's just because the straight agenda, there's not even an agenda, because that just is, that's the syllabus, that's the book, that's the fucking class. You know what I mean? Like, that's just. what it is. And I just don't want it shoved in my face. Never have never fucking heard a gay dude. Just be like, God damn, if all these straight

people were quit making out, which I don't know if you've ever been to sports bar where that's happening, but it's worse. The fuck are you, I know it's a Disney movie, but still, it's a movie about high fashion. Yeah, I know. I know. It sounds gay. What the fuck are you doing watching that? If you're going to have a problem with a gay, it is, it is. Well, their thing, it would be weird to not have a gay Their whole thing is, this is the religious people going like Disney is for kids. I'm letting my kids watch this. And their brain can't fathom.

Oh, the great thing would be for my kids to grow up in a world where this is completely normal and everybody's acceptance. But they can't. They go, Disney is trying to force my kids to like gay people. And it's like, dude, you're watching a movie about puppy butchering. You know what I'm saying? No. The origins of a puppy butcher. Cori.

Yeah. I think they've reimagined her character entirely. There is no fucking way that to Corella that's in that movie. movie ends up being. Have I been what, Drew? Reading? I've been reading. Yeah, but I've been reading Easy Riders and Regan Bulls. Dennis Hopper, also of the silent generation born three years. Well, Luna, tick boy.

Dude, I was reading so many times they were just like, yeah, we gave Dennis Hopper the movie because we were afraid if we didn't, he would stab the head of the network. So we gave it to him. I'm not, that's like a direct quote. Yeah. I want to say that my mom came around on all those conversations, including because I was like, yeah, well, pride, you know, the opposite of shame. That's sort of the goal.

Right. All right, I guess I get that. Still don't like it. Also, clearly they don't like the Bible too much, Nancy. You know what I mean? Like, what are you going to do? I'm just saying, like, that's not, that's, is that the whole thing? It's like pride's one of the seven deadly sins, too.

Well, just you don't like the pride. Yeah. I'm saying because it's a sin. Is she not like you when you was in high school? Because I guarantee you you was peacocking around that motherfucker throwing touchdowns. What's wild about that is like any part of me that wasn't like that. And yes, for the most part, you're correct. Any part of me that wasn't like that is because I heard her complain about my father being that way.

Right. Gay. Basically ruined him and there's why I became an alcohol. So like not just your son. Like the person you like pride a little bit. Like come on. You like a little bit. You think it's a little hot.

I don't want to be drunk. but like you want to suck my dad's dick he wasn't being calm yeah no for sure nobody with that fucking hair every nobody's like oh you see that man over there that seems like he has no pride that's who that's who that's it right there meke yeah just they inherit the earth you know introvert over there in the corner just looking like he's shame for no reason I love I want to fucking suck his cock on yeah well that's what I aggravate Brian oh time right it's small Brian you like it is. Yeah.

Brian just getting so much tail because he was quiet. And I used to do someone's shit. I'd be like, these people think you're interested. He's like, nope, I'm tricked him. Yeah.

Just because he's huge. Yeah. I think it would be with a huge guy that it does work the other way. A huge guy that's quiet is super interesting. A huge guy that's loud. It's a hat on a hat. Because it's a hat on a hat if they're loud, but if they're quiet.

You expect them to be loud and you're like, Jesus. If you see a guy like Brian, if you see a dude like Brian not saying, anything, you're like, he's been to Vietnam. Right. You know what I mean? Like that fucking dude, he's been in the shit, boy.

Like, well, I was just giving him shit. He is interesting. Yeah. Man, I was, we caught up this weekend with some of our high school friends who haven't hung out with him in a while and he was telling him his thoughts on, you know, dimensions and, and, and spiritual stuff and buddy. I mean, I was watching, my grandma's got dimensions. Yeah.

Exactly. That's literally what it was like. He was watching an old boy just be like, Brown? HIPAA. If anyone wants to hear me work on that joke, I'm going to work on it tonight. But when this comes out on Thursday, what I'm trying to say is DJ and I will be at Zanis on June 3rd, the day this comes out, Zanis Comedy Club. And I will be doing a joke about my mother being okay with her grandson going to the pride parade as long as they change the name.

I will not be at that show, but y'all should go. I'm working on some new jokes too, one that I just started last night. see this. No. Feet ain't titties. They ain't titties. Everybody knows it. So we'll see how that goes.

You figured out to cut them off. Yeah, you all go to, I think that's how it started. Y'all, uh, you all go to well-read comedy. com, sign up for the newsletter. We are, we're getting pert near ready to, I think, uh, this is like the announcement of the announcement. We soon will be announcing that we will be announcing show dates. We've been, uh, getting all our ducks in order.

And so we're getting ready to come back out there and see y'all. And, uh, as soon as we get to go ahead, we'll throw the links up and everything. but man, I'm excited. Me too. You're going to be great. We'll hit. We'll hit. All right.

Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We'd love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune the next look. Why can't I do this anymore? Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night. They're the liberal rednecks.

They like cornbread, but sex. They care way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the neighbor rednecks that makes some people upset They got three big old dicks that you can suck