wellRED podcast - #233 The Return of the Indian Outlaw w/ Tushar Singh

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

This week the boys are joined by their good buddy and fellow southern funny man Tushar Singh! Tushar regales with tales of how the rich are living in NYC, former NY Governor Andrew Cuomo's scandal, and the social phenomenon that was "SuperSize Me." They also announce a very exciting new project! 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like, you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low main? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture, including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create, custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features.

I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friends' faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money.

What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.

They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the.

Pacifico is brute for those who follow their own path because that can lead to an amazing view of an epic sunset. Pacifico live life anchors up. Keep exploring at orderpacico.com. Discover responsibly. difficult clara beer imported by crown imports chicago illinois hey everybody it's me uncle daddy drew drew dollars uh real quick just wanted to get some announcements out of the way i'm filling in for cho on the host and duties and uh we got a great show today tushar sing is our guest our good buddy you guys know

him you love him the indian outlaw himself we got an announcement for a project we're doing with him you'll hear all about it on this week's episode uh tour dates though august 19th and 21st we're Denver, Colorado. There's five shows. There's tickets available. Come see us. It's going to be great. We had to reschedule the Little Rock Show. I'm sure if you had tickets to that, you know that already. I don't know what to say, guys. It's upsetting. I'm sorry. The real pandemic is dumb assery. Motherfuckers are ate up with it out there. And even if there was a cure, which there's not, they wouldn't take it because they're too stupid. But hey, we'll figure it out. We're rescheduled. We're going to come back. And I'm not picking on Arkansas. All of America's ate up with that

dumb assery. But we're all vaxed. We're going to figure it out. And we're all going to be vaxed on September 10th, 11th, 12th in Raleigh, North Carolina. September 16th and 17th in Atlanta, Georgia. I think the 17th is sold out. September 25th in Minneapolis. September 29th in Irvine, California,

and September 30th in San Jose, California. All right, that's it. It's going to be a great episode. Come see us on the road. Go to well-read comedy.com for those tickets. And, as always, see you. Love You Bye. They're the liberal rednecks. They like cornbread, but sex, they care way too much, but don't give a fun. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people upset,

but they got three big old dicks that you can suck. Yeah, well, here we are. I mean, Corey, physically together. That's weird. That's nice. Yeah. He's in here in my back door studio. Backyards, you know what I'm saying?

back came through my back door. That's Tooshaar over there and of course Drew's with us. But Toushar's back. What's up, Tushar? What's up? Thanks for having me, fellas. He explained off Mike, but look at his background. That's not a Zoom background. Yeah. No, it's a real background. Doesn't he look like a Guy Ritchie film? Yeah, for sure. Especially with the, what are them type of hats called? Newsie. Newsie. Newsie. Yeah, you definitely look like a character in a guy Ritchie film.

That's exactly. soccer with a football shirt. It's fucking foot. Yeah. I would have thought that you, Corey, would know every type of hat. You would think. And I have one of those. I actually have one of those, but I don't know.

And I look, my God, I wore it. It was like two Christmases ago when I was going to Iowa with Amber for a family. And like, I always liked to wear hats. And she was like, hey, look, I know you like to wear hats, but we're going to like take pictures. So could you just like go by like a nice hat or something like that? I was like, yeah, okay. So I was trying to figure out what I could wear that was still like packable and stuff.

And I went and got one of those and like I really thought I was pulling it off. And like now I go back and look at the pictures and I look just like the most dip shit constable. Like a detective, like they just gave all the stupid cases too. You know what I mean? Just like he's in the union. We got to let him be here. He's been here for a long time. We know he's problematic.

Who's been fucking all these pies? Let's call detective. This shit. Yeah, it was very much that. Like, I barely hit in like regular hats, but like that, I just, it turns out I was not pulling it off like I thought I was. Well, there's that one picture of you in a bowler hat, and that's also Constable Cho. Yeah. You turn very constable.

I do. Depending on the hat. Yeah. Yeah. Like the goofy, you know. Yeah. We all know what would mean when we say constable. For sure.

Wait. What do you mean by a police officer? It's what police officer? fat police officer. That's the definition of a constable. A fat, you've been a creepy police officer. Speaking of Corey eating stuff, move them like a little closer to Trey. You usually I'm fine, Corey, but Trey's a little quiet.

Is Constable just a British, like a UK thing? Like, we don't have them. No, no, we haven't. No, I had a constable. Yeah, tell about it. Do you know about the constable? Me and you've talked about it, yeah. Chicken?

Yeah, no, cornbread. Cornbread. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't. I don't even remember having that conversation. Yeah, tell him. You don't remember having a chicken, no cornbread conversation? No, no, we had a constable in my hometown.

Hell, he may still be, although he probably dead. I don't know the deal. But when I was in, like, high school, the constable in Salina was a dude named cornbread. And his, uh, his like official uniform, because constable and slina can just make their own uniform, you know. He had a goddamn holster with a lot of. live firearm in it on a belt around his, you know, waist and jeans or whatever. And also every single day, a custom t-shirt that he had made that said,

Chicken ain't kicking without cornbread. I need chicken. And it had a picture of like a cartoon chicken, whatever, probably kicking up flat born to butt or something. You know, who knows. But like, it was just, it was the done. dumbest looking thing you could imagine. And that was like, might have been,

I don't know that he wore that every day, but it was very much his favorite shirt and seemed like part of his uniform. But the constable was like in Salina, you know, the mayor in Salina don't hardly get paid. Constable is just a made up. It's just somebody, I was going to say, I was going to say it was just,

carry a gun into the grocery store, but like, hell, you can also just do that in the line. So everyone's a constable. We're actually all constables. That was the name of the football team, actually. Clay County Constables. Was it his gun? Or was it like an issued?

Like, did anybody have the authority to take his chicken shirt? It was a potato gun, I think, if I remember. And did he have a potato gun. Yes. I want your potato gun on my desk. Yes. I want your chicken shirt and potato gun on my desk. Did he have?

I think you would have told me if he did. Did he have Constable or Clay County on the back? Did he try to make it look? I think, I do think it had Constable on the back of the shirt, I think. And he also had like, Constable cornbread. Constable cornbread, man. And his car was just like an old, you know,

like Oldsmobile or something from the 80s, not a hitting one, you know, or whatever. He put a little light on top of it. of and like screen printed or however fuck you do that the word constable on the side of it. He thought it was very official, you know, but it was like, I don't know what actual authority or anything may have, do you, I mean, what about God? Do you all have a constable? No, and you would think Chickamauga would be the most having a constable ass type.

And we might, but surely I'd know that. It might be me. In Great Britain, it's an official. It is. It's like police chief. It's not police chief, but it's that type of thing. Yeah, I hear like anytime I'm watching my British stories, like they just throw around the word constable all the time.

It's never like, it doesn't seem like one specific dude, but maybe it is. Seems like he's more of like a softball umpire, like that type of power. Yeah, Andrew Reich is listening and is furious that this did not come up in our meetings with him. Show creator, Andrew Reich, who we've worked with in the past.

And we did his podcast. That'll be out recently. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, y'all check out Dead Pilot Society. Like and subscribe to that so you can hear. Because a lot of people ask all the time. I told Andrews why we were so excited to do it. We still get asked all the time like, hey, when's y'all's show coming out?

Because I get it. People don't know when they see, hey, you have, you know, you signed a deal to do a sitcom. They're like, all right, well, that means it's getting put on air. Well, ours never did. So we can finally answer the question, what's happening with our show? it was we got the table read that we finally that we deserved on Dead Pilot Society. You can listen to the thing we wrote that ABC said

get the fuck out of here too pretty soon. That ain't it. That ain't it. Also, we're going to be in Denver. Yes, true. Denver, August 19th to the 21st at Comedy Works. You can go to well-readcom, W-E-L-L-R-E-D Comedy.com and get you tickets. and hell I'm super excited.

I ain't been in Denver. This is the longest I've ever gone on my life without being in Denver. It feels like we were just, we were like in Denver like twice a year and then went two years without it, and I'm just starting to, yeah, I really want to go to a weed store and get a bison murder.

Yeah, man. Denver hits. Does hit. Will hit. Will hit. So, Tushar, where the hell are you at right now? I am in New York. I'm staying with,

I thought you were in Florida. He's everywhere. And everywhere, we're all at the same time. You're supposed to be here. He's supposed to be in L.A. I was supposed to be in L.A., yeah. I was there to film a pilot for a show, and it went really well, so now it's like in the editing phase.

But basically I got to the thing of the pilot, I think I told you guys last time, which is basically I interviewed someone while drawing their portrait. And we ended up getting this guy named DJ Fred Rek, who is a, he's like Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog's music producer. And so he's just the coolest cat ever. And the interview went really well. And then Wednesday night, I gosh, was like coming to Florida and come to Naples and come feature.

And then I just flew back here because I have no plans in life. You know me. Nice. Oh, shameless plug. We're going to be in Naples the weekend of December 11th. You can go ahead and get those tickets too at wellredcom. That's my birthday. Yeah, where are you guys at Naples?

Probably where Akash is. Off the hook? Yep, that is it. Off the hook. That is it. Off the hook, comedy club. Yeah, off the hook, comedy club, Naples, Florida, weekend of December 11th. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

No, too sure, you don't have to give away who you're telling on, but tell them a little bit about this facility you're currently staying in. Oh, man. So this place is like a new luxury. high-rise building. And it's, you know, it's luxury, you know, high ceilings, big floor plans, all that. But the common space, like the three buildings go underground into this, like, common area. And it's basically a huge gym, and it has a workout thing and all the aerobic and weightlifting. But it also has, and this is where rich people have it good, a full court tennis, full Court basketball, rock climbing gym, racquetball.

All right, if that's not enough for you, they have a golf simulator room. They have a bowling alley. They have like a library that no one would ever go to. They have like a poker room, which is what I'm in. They have a botanical hydro whatever where they grow plants and you can come like farm in this room that has you can't play it for. It's crazy. Why the fuck are you there? I'm crashing with my, I'm crashing with my gosh and he lives here.

So I'm just here. Yeah. Now, this is in Manhattan. That's the kicker. That's the kicker. All that in Manhattan. That's insane. It honestly feels like the world ended and they built a facility for people to not go insane.

And this is, you know, everything is nice, right? And this is really strange. I love it, but it's a bizarre. Yeah, like all the zombies are just right outside. Yeah, yeah. fucking windows and shit. Yeah. We're just throwing cucumbers.

Yeah. So all those things are common areas in the building. It's like an apartment building. Yeah. And all of those facilities are amenities for people to live there. Yeah. It's the bowling alley got me. The bowling alley was like, what?

I didn't even know those. Didn't you say a recording studio? And they have a recording studio. Yeah, I make a lot of beats and stuff. I'm sure. Other beats. Big time beat people there. the garden, the studio.

Any kind of beating. A lot of beatings. In the coming wars, a beat will be on their flags. So what? You said you're in the poker? So did you have to, like, reserve the poker room?

No, I just walked in, but like... Yeah. Damn. Yeah, that's fucking sweet. Dude, that is so sweet. One of the thing I love about Tushar is he knows how to be this type of person. He's like, no, I just walked in.

Yeah, right. Like, look at me in this hat. They don't know I'm sleeping on a guy's couch. I'm recording a fucking podcast, y'all. We would have been tased so quickly had we tried to do what Tushar's doing right now. If they heard our accents coming through the walls, yeah, dude, tased. On the way in, we'd be like, oh, those guys, yeah, and then we open our mouth. Maybe they work here?

You just start cleaning immediately, just start, like, wiping the wall. I would definitely do shit like that, dude. I would feel uncomfortable in that place. I can tell just by the way you've described it. So we wrote a sketch about the fashion industry in which Trey discovers Corey, and Corey is cleaning around the office when he discovers it. I'm really upset that we didn't get to. Wait, that's not one that's on the docket, is it?

No. It's not. I would have been, I really, really wanted to strut around and some car hearts. Yeah, that was going to hit. That's why they happened. Because it was going to hit. I'm right. That's the way the world.

He can't have the rules. Shit works now. Oh, man. Well, you know, hey, we just found out that it's officially illegal to be Italian. Cuomo resigned.

He had to resign because he was kissing too many people on the lips without their permission. Yeah, he did. He does. Yeah, he actually, did you think that he was going to call it quidstere? No. I didn't either. I genuinely, I'm glad that he did for record, but like I was surprised when I saw

this morning. I was like, God damn, I just figured that this guy would just like keep making silly, it's not harassment, it's heritage. I think, my theory on that, Corey, is he couldn't go Republican because he's got too much invested in it. And I don't think

the Democrats allow for, I don't apologize, I double down. And sometimes in terms of winning, I think we should, but in terms of having decent people, you know, we should not. Yeah, it's three days ago. Three days ago, I read

an article that said, will Hillary Clinton be the new governor? And I'm like, ah, fuck me. Like, no, please know. It's always just the same people. It's just like, like high-level coaches in sports, you know, it's just a carousel

of all the same dudes mostly, but in her coach. whatever, just all the same people just cycle in and out from the same families. Am I wrong, though, is like, don't you think, is being the governor in New York, like, isn't that like a step down for Hillary? Like, does that seem like something that she would do at this point in her career? I mean, I know that she's not doing it. Like, she's not elected official right now, but like, look, she very famously ran for president in one of the most famous elections of all time. It didn't work out. Don't you kind of think that she's just going to, like, do charity work on

and coast on that the rest of her life? Like, why would she want to do that shit? I mean, my only, yeah, I agree with you, but I don't know if like somebody like her just needs to command authority. Right. At any given time, you know, she should be peons and whatnot. Yeah. Like a government. How old is she? Does she control ever?

She ever? Yeah. No, I think she'd make a great constable, actually. Yeah, there's. She could have a sweet t-shirt. The only thing I know about the power of the New York. York Governor Wills, I learned from the show billions. I feel it's probably not reliable what I learned there. But it seems from that show, it made it out to be a very powerful position because of Wall Street.

Yeah, I mean, I have to imagine, like, you know, I mean, used to it was like the path to being the president was being the governor of a state because they were like, you know, they were like, we don't want somebody that was just in a senator of the Congress. We need to know that you can, you can govern on some level. And that, that, that's, you know. That's the only reason I asked how old she was because, like, I mean, you know, now we will let old white men do anything. I don't know that we're there with women yet, but like she's still in play realistically. Like, it's not like she could never run again. We're like, oh, well, she lost the Trump.

She's out. Like, maybe this is her like, yeah, I'll win an election. That way, I'm, the stigma of being a loser is over. I've won a thing and then I've governed and then now she can run again. Maybe there's, I mean, fucking, I hope not for the record. yeah right yeah i don't it would also wait for me if she didn't no and i just feel like

i just feel like but again i don't i have no clue what it's like to be a person like that i was like in my head's like what you just like you said earlier just coast do your speaking engagements whatever else they don't coast right they just don't do they don't have that jean yeah that's true uh you guys got real loud for a second but it went away

that's why me and two charmey those faces it went away It wasn't a technical thing. It wasn't a you thing. It wasn't a you thing. It wasn't a youth thing. I didn't touch shit. Tuchart, you're a sort of New Yorker, you know, like, uh, what, I mean, who you want to be the next?

I wish I, I, I wish I, I honestly wish I cared more. Yeah. About these, these matters. Back to you. Yeah, all right. In the studio. I just wish there's people who have like heated debates. Cuomo's the worst person.

And, you know, like if you look at his track record with COVID at least, where he, you know, lied and then these things come up. My general point of view is pretty pessimistic that these people are all generally pieces of shit just because of their ego. They don't serve for the people. They serve for themselves. And they happen to be good at various elements of their job. I am but a humble beet farmer living on the ground. But yeah, I think people, I mean, the road up to him, you know, the second, what, 10 days ago when it was like, up to 11 women, maybe more, is like, this guy's toast. They just don't know why he can survive it in this environment.

This is not the early 70s where it's like, shut up, lady, you know, like. Yeah, and I also saw, and I didn't even, I didn't watch the clip because, you know, why. I don't hit. But I saw people were circulating, I guess, a Trevor Noah clip from a little while back where he was talking about how much Cuomo hits for him, you know, and then people were doing it in a like gotcha type of way or whatever, which I just don't like. Which is always so stupid. What's he supposed to like? Are they suggesting that Trevor Noah knew all this stuff when he was saying that? If I had, right, that's what I'm saying.

That's what he was talking about. If I had like a pro quo video that I had done. I'd probably post it myself right now. I'm an idiot. Well, look at that shit. It's good. But that's why that fucking, what, it happens, you know? Like, like you said, it's not like he was supposed to know that.

I'll be honest with you. I just now started locking the guy. I didn't have shit about him before this. And I'm just like, hey, you know. What do you think, let me ask you, like, what do you think the, the southern, like, people in the south and people not living on the coastal cities and they hear this news? does it confirm their suspicions that these people are monsters or do they just say, you know, it is? No, here's all it is.

I mean, this is a very simplistic answer. And I could be generalizing. But like, look, here's the deal. If it, if he was a Republican, they'd be saying, look, man, he's just nice to everybody. But now, you know what I'm saying? But now that he's a Democrat, I guarantee you what a lot of them are saying. And completely false is they're going, oh, see, it's fine when one of theirs does. does it? And it's like, no, every...

Clearly not. Clearly not. But then before he resigned, though, they would be making up all this stuff. Like, you... Democrats... The president and everyone else was saying, you should resign. Right. But like, they'll be like, oh, the Democrats are silent when this happened.

But when it was Trump and it's like, no, literally every single Democrat, I personally know, and that I've seen on the internet, said nothing other than, you know what? Get this fucking creep out of here. So it's just, to me, it's exactly what you would expect. It's just stupid bullshit. Well, and also this is anti-Italian racism, and they like racism. Love it. It's an Italian erasure.

That's what they're doing. Trying to erase their culture. It sounds like you can't just say, hey, and fucking kiss whoever you want. Yeah, not my Italy, little Italy. You know if she's old enough, if the spaghetti sticks to her forehead. Oh, man, fuck, that's the top I chose, saying. Okay, I officially think I have to resign after saying. That's constable?

He's not the constable of chickenmong anymore. So, yeah, I mean, that's just how I think it is. But yeah, like Drew was saying earlier, this is just one of those things where, like, it does hit for me that, like, we police our own and we clearly have higher standards. But this is also a reason why we will continue to lose things that we definitely should win. I have a maybe controversial opinion that's somewhat in that vang. I'm sure that conservatives would hear what I'm about to say and be like, yeah,

so you're here they go. I also don't really, I don't really understand what Chris Cuomo was supposed to have done any different than what he has done, which is like, people have been roasting shit out of his ass because he's like, he's a fanning his brother. Well, it's like, no, he's just not,

he ain't saying nothing about it. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, in my head, it's like, well, Of course he is. That's his brother.

A, it's his brother, B, it's like, he has a very clear conflict of interest. Right. Like, there was this whole thing where it transitioned from Chris Cuomo to Don Lemon. And Don Lemon was like, they're all cutting up and shit. And Don't know him is like, love your brother. And Cuomo signs off. And Don Lemon's like, the sexual assault advocate.

Like, he goes straight into gross and his brother or whatever. People were kind of like a Frato moment and shit because of the Italians. but and I'm but I'm just saying that whole time with all of that in my head I was like I right I don't know how else you are supposed to expect all of this part of it to play out for sure what I mean like and I just don't I mean I don't have a brother right but you know it'd be one thing if he was like going on there like you can't reasonably expect somebody to just openly fucking just bury their brother no I would do They try to cancel my brother for murdering a pedophile, and I wouldn't stand for it.

But I think that, yeah, right. I think what people are angry at, Trey, is that that two brothers can be. And it feels like we got a little oligarchy thing. So it's like, we're not supposed to have royalty. But we don't know how to express that culturally we have a hard time expressing that. So we're just like, and fuck that guy. You know what I mean? Yeah, I agree with that.

Yeah, it don't have for me that we had this little. We were kind of talking about it earlier, but I mean, yeah, the Cuomo, yeah, it's always been weird to me. Oligarchy kind of sounds like Olive Garden, too. You know, Judah Friedlander, of course you guys know, Judah Friedlander. Yeah. He is a joke that I just saw, it went viral. We're an oligarchy, but with this humidity, it feels like a dictatorship. Right.

There's like this general anger in America towards all that, and I think people just take it out on the face. So they say, fuck Chris, he should do better when what they really feel is. None of this makes any sense or is fair. No, I mean, like you just said, like when you really step back and think about it, and it's like the governor of New York is under fire for sexual misconduct, I wonder what his brother, who is responsible for, yeah, the top CNN anchor, who's responsible for giving the news to millions and millions of people is going to say about that. It's a fucked up situation.

And again, like you go, well, the reason he's not saying anything is because he has conflict of interest, but it's like he's had conflict of interest this whole time. And you can't, but then at the same time, you can't go, okay, so because this guy's brother does this, he's not allowed to do the thing that he likes and is good at.

But at the same, again, at the same time, it's just, and then the fucking, you know, Anderson Cooper is like, his family is the Vanderbilt.

It's crazy as shit, man. Like, if all of this was in a movie like minority report, it would look very much like, on par with that type of size. file type shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Trey, let me ask you because you follow it closer because of skews. What did he, like, why doesn't he have a 10-minute segment done by somebody else? Did he address it at all and say it's a conflict of interest? Like, what has he said? I mean, I don't,

I'm doing skews later today. And so as soon as Smart Mark catches me up on everything, I'll be able to tell you all, I'll be able to tell you all what the deal was. Because last week on skews and we talked about it and it all just broke and at that time nobody was even really mad at chris yet and then i saw in the next couple well that actually that's not true because i guess chris chris was like involved in the team that was like strategizing for how this was all going to play out or something which it's like i don't know i it goes it's that that's literal propaganda to me it's a version of um that bill bird bed about you know know, what did you think that he thought or whatever type of thing?

Like, that's all I'm really saying. It's like people were just, like, I don't know. It is fucked up that those two dudes were in those two positions, and I don't give a shit of Chris Cuomo's ever on TV again. I couldn't care. I couldn't fucking care less. But just people being, like, outraged at that whole part of it, I just thought was kind of silly from the beginning because it's like, yeah,

I mean, of course that's where he is on all of that. It's his fucking brother, you know, I just didn't find it surprising as all. I don't know how any of that works. Does he have a boss? Do you, like, you know what I mean? Is there someone going, hey, Chris? Yeah.

Right. But is it like in our world, it's like your show. And for the most part, you get to do what you want with like a little bit of this and that. Or it's the news world, though. I wonder, is there not someone going, hey, if you're not going to cover it, then we got to have a 10-minute segment where I bring somebody else. Yeah. Well, I think I don't want to misspeak here.

but I think that like that's part of, I'm saying a lot of people were making it sound like because Chris was at CNN and I don't, I feel, it feels weird to just keep saying Chris, but we're talking about two fucking brothers here. Since Chris is at CNN,

that CNN was like letting, letting Andy off the hook, you know, for all his Italian shenanigans that he was doing. But I'm saying, that wasn't it was just that Chris with CNN was still talking CNN was fucking wall to wall talking

about it from what I could tell it's like Chris was the only one who wasn't and it to me the whole time it's like that's like that makes sense to me right yeah like that's what that's what I would expect it to look like on CNN right now and thus I'm not particularly outraged by it yeah so yeah

man it does become a conservative talking point for them to go see how corrupt they are and it's like man the whole network spent all day on it. It's just one hour the brother didn't. I don't know. No, it's stupid. None of this is hitting for Tushar. Yeah, we're back on skews.

Yeah, maybe this whole hit for Tushar, one of my random subject I wanted to ask you about. And I don't mean any disrespect to the artistic entity I'm about to bring up here at all. But I do think it's funny to think about, if y'all, and if I brought this up before, stop me and I apologize. Have y'all thought about how kind of funny it is that supersized me was such a cultural

phenomenon? Like, y'all remember supersized? Yeah. Morgan's a huge, huge deal. Well, I guess all I'm saying is, and it was, and rightfully so, Morgan Sparlock did a great job. It was, but it was so groundbreaking. Only in this country. And I'm saying, have you ever thought about how it's kind of funny that that just

shook like sent shockwaves through America they're like wait a minute hold on wait what makes you fat

the fucking the gigantic 64 ounce fucking mega gulps that are part of the supersized that that stuff is bad for you

yeah hold the fucking oh y'all it was like breaking news and we were all just like oh my God have you all heard

about a part of it and you're still right. You're still right. But wasn't part of it that it happened like in two weeks? And again, it was effective. It was necessary at that time. I'm not shit talking supersized me at all. But even that part of it, his whole thing was,

I'm going to eat nothing but it down every day for a month and see what happens. And what happened was it really didn't hit. And everybody was, What? Holy shit. We can't do that anymore. My theory is that Jack Daniels is bad for you. I'm going to replace water with Jack Daniels. Right. Every day. I'm going to drink Jack Daniels every day for 30 days.

Yeah. And make a time lapse video of my stomach exploding like Jack Kerouac's and then just be real confused at alcoholism. Two star, fuck your pilot. I got a new idea. You're just going to get drunk and fuck whores every day. I'm going to follow you around with the camera. Artistically, that's the only reason I want to be there. Got to be funny. I think if you keep living with a kosh, you can pull that shit off. Yeah.

Dude, there's plenty of people that fucking get drunk and fuck hores every day for months. Oh, man. Well, I don't want to say plenty of people, but, you know, it's been done. It can be done. There's plenty of people who live off fast food every day. What I liked about... I've done both of these things. I never thought to make a film.

I did it for the love to the goddamn guy. What I liked about supersized me, and I do think about this every now and then is that he went from being a vegan. Like his starting point wasn't even normal. He went from vegan. Right. A full retard fast food.

Like, obviously. And then he was like, my sex drive is going down. It's like, yeah, buddy. Like, what are you doing? Yes, exactly. Right. So the whole thing, you would think, knowing all that, that the reaction to all of that would be like, yeah. Well, yeah. Of course, that's exactly what happened. But that wasn't the reaction. No. The reaction was like award winning, stunned. And again, it was great.

And right. Again, clearly he was right. I'm having to preface that even more so because I know Craig is listening. I know. I know. I know. I know. I thought of that too far. Craig, his brother, his brother, is buddy of ours. We love Craig. Fucking Morgan's great, too. I'm saying, the movie fucking crush, I'm saying, in retrospect,

thinking about, thinking about all of that. Yeah. Like, if you made that movie, that movie would never even be conceived in, like, Sweden. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, that would be so foreign to them that, A, that they didn't know that,

and be that anyone would ever live like that. Oh, yeah. Like, I've never seen that's weird. Yeah, they just fucking bury sharks in the eyes for six months and they did it. That's what them fucking weirdos do. They do that? Yeah. Does that how their skin look so clear?

That's all I know. I know. They eat like fermented sharks and shit like that. And it started with them like burying it because like, you know. Oh, not in the ice? You had to. No, in the eye. I do not know what I'm talking about.

Except for. for saying that this is a real thing generally. Okay. Super Shark me. Let's go for it. Permented. It goes back to when they had to like, you know, well, some fin to disappear for eight months. Right.

We might all die. I'll bury some shark. Better bury some sharks, so we'll still have shark. Right. Otherwise, we don't have no shark. You said it's fermented? I believe so, yeah. That hits.

I mean, I think. that like that's you know there's proof that that's real good for people oh god damn it hang on a second now i'm just i'm going to have to look this up uh all right why you look it up out staying on topic i realize a lot of jokes are like that though trade where you like you point out something everybody knows but you do it in a way that's great you know what i'm saying yeah like a lot of great jokes people are like yeah i believe that too but i've just never thought of it about it right uh so it It ain't Sweden, it's

Iceland, but come on. Yeah, come on. They're the same. That sounded like a reason. Yeah, thurper, third and don't. I'm just love to ski. Yes. That's just East and West Virginia, man. Yeah, right.

Yeah, that's... Uncomplicating furniture. What is trendy. Yeah. You're allowed to make a charg. That is a funny-ass accent that I forgot how funny it is. It's called Hercarl.

Yeah. So, oh, it's Icelandic and it's called Hikarl. And it's, oh, it's the national, or at least a national dish of Iceland consisting of a Greenland shark or other sleeper shark that's been cured with a particular fermentation process and hung to dry for four to five months. It has a strong ammonia-rich smell and fishy taste.

So smell like fish. Smell like piss and taste like fish. It's a piece of good. You kind of got into Mario there, too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've got home. I don't know. Y'all get it.

Yeah. But Anthony Bourdain described fermented shark as the single worst, most disgusting and terrible tasting thing that he'd ever eaten. Look. That made it in the Wikipedia. Yeah. The meat of the Greenland shark is poisonous when fresh because of its high content of urea.

So like it's like piss shark. Also dude, you know that. Piss shark and eat it. You know that Anthony Bourdain after like. But placing it in a shallow hole, I knew that burying was involved somehow. But it don't hit. I mean, according to Anthony Bourdain,

who like, you know he's eating some disgusting shit. But of course, I was never trying to, my whole thesis the whole time was that it didn't hit. I think me and Drew both independently thought that it would hit. No, I was talking about, I was talking, we were talking, you said supersized me in Sweden would never be a thing. And I was like, you motherfuckers, Barry sharks, and they can kiss my ass, you know, or whatever.

I thought you were saying, like, yeah, they are fancy and eat fresh shark meat or whatever. Yeah, like that's like, yeah, they got, like, even their fish jerky is kind of wild. Sushi. Not hitting way. Right. I didn't know it was Piss Fish. Yeah. Let's have a party.

Terpidurba. Turbid, everybody. Every word they say sounds like turpentine to me. Yeah. Turpentine. Yeah, I could say that.

The thing about supersized me, I feel like while it hit, you know, but it hit for people who were already on board with that, it's a gross. lifestyle. We can't, where we're from, we can't comprehend that this is shocking to anyone. Like the own, like, like, to me, like, there's people I guess in like Greenwich Village or something that watched that and they're like, holy shit, there's people that literally just eat McDonald's

every day. Like, that's crazy. And like, to me, I'm like, yeah, there's a lot. There's people I know who aren't the dumbest people I know who at least have it for breakfast every day. But I know people in the South who aren't dumb and who don't do that. I think there's something very dramatic about watching it happened that quickly to one person that dramatically. For sure. I don't know. Like I know what you're saying, Tray, but I

do think there was, and you're saying this, there was some value of displaying it. Yeah, no. My whole thing is like it was objectively effective and so didn't it win an Oscar? I think maybe it did the most documentary that year. It was

like the, it was the shit. Yeah. And all I'm saying is Like, so clearly it was effective and a right and appropriate thing to do. That is what's kind of funny to me. Given the subject matter and what it set out to do, that it was so groundbreaking and so effective in that way is what's funny. Because it's just like, like you said, just only in this country, man. Right. We're just like, yeah, give me the shovel size.

Right. It's going to wipe my heart and I hit. Well, that's dumb. Yeah. Because dude, right after, like, as soon as that shit came out and then McDonald's was like, because McDonald's don't even do supersize anymore. No, because of that. But like, dude, here's the thing. And I knew it as soon as it happened because, like, I've got really good sense for stuff like this. Like, you know, some people can like predict like oil futures and like stock fluctuations.

I know exactly what's about to happen when they start changing drug or food laws. You know what I mean? Like as soon as they were like, we're schedule one in hydro's. I was like, heroin fin to come. come back, boom. As soon as they fucking got rid of supersized me, I was like, all my buddies are getting two largest, which is technically more. And they did that shit.

Every time they were like, well, my God, just get two largest, which is like, supersized plus a medium. Like, they made it worse. I feel like, I might be conflating the two. But I feel like in my head, that's also around the same time they start coming out with all them combo deals and stuff. So that, you know what I mean? They got rid of the supersized.

We'll make it all a dollar. How about that? I can have a whole lot of it, but you can have all of it. Yeah, we'll just give you all of it for $5. Yeah. You want to add check? What's that red-headed queer think about that? What?

I realize I'm the butt of that joke, but I don't get it. Morgan is. I don't know. Morgan, who I'm sorry. I thought I was the red-haired queer. You are around these part. In this out of you, you are the official red-headed queer. But we were being McDonald's talking about Morgan's first.

lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just add nuggets to it. One of my favorite parts of the documentary was, you know, if you guys remember, he didn't supersize unless they asked him. And there were some scenes where they asked him and just like,

object sagness just closed over his face. That was the thing. He didn't supersize every meal. He only did it if they asked, but they asked the last. You think they fired any of the ones that didn't ask? Probably. Bullshit, I trained you better.

I find the whole, I mean, I used to be a fat kid, and it's a real nightmare. Actually, that's not true. I wasn't really a fat kid. No, you fat. Yeah. Yeah. But you still, I mean, you still later was a fat boy. I was a fat kid.

It's a big old fat boy. There's a pitch of Trey's voice that he can only hit when he gets excited about a new way to call him. you fast. I know. He just hit it. You were a fat boy. You weren't a fat boy. 30.

Yeah. So my shorts and a backpack for the wrestling shirt. Oh, that big old fat boy over there. Neon green shoes. You know what is somebody? Let's somebody because they won't let him buy a Disney book. Queen. I've hit for myself.

It's all true. I was at Georgia Tech junior year, and my roommate was this kid from rural Georgia, first in his family to go to college ever. This kid was 4.50. Like, he was a big, big fella. He was about six foot, 450, so, like, you know, wide. And he was being, like, real, real smart. I mean, yeah, he was a smart kid.

He seemed to be hard working. There's no diversity scholarship for fact. That's what I'm saying. Like, he couldn't have just, like, skated through. did the bare minimum to go to Georgia Tech. Like he was clearly otherwise really, really blessed to be a big, fat, dumb, don't hit motherfucker from rural Georgia that ends up going to Georgia Tech. I bet he invented a new tractor.

For sure, for sure. So he was a sweet kid. He didn't have many friends. He was just, how he kept in himself. And I remember one night I came back. It was like one o'clock. I was probably like kind of buzzing. Friday night, I came back.

and he had done his grocery shopping, which was like 15, three-liter mountain dews. So he only sustained himself on soda. And then the rest of his diet was just red meat. And so that's when I had kind of like ended my weight loss. So I got to this weight. And I was like, buddy, have you ever thought about, you know, this can't be fun for you? Like I'm just basically like, this is not a healthy, sustainable lifestyle. And this diet, I'll never forget.

he breaks down, he starts crying, and he's basically like, I try to lose weight in high school. And I came, I went to the grocery store and got some vegetables. And then my entire family was laughing at me. And it was just like, fuck. It was so sad. Like, just that same from the clumps, but they all got clanshood down, you know. And don't fit their big heads. Yeah, don't fit their big heads.

Just laughing at him for being a fucking carrot-ed-eater, you know. Oh, it was so sad. I was like, this is not something that he can just like, oh, stop eating fast food. It's like, it's like building the cold food. That does show you, though, the difference. Like, this kid also goes. We big, fat, dumb fucks in his family. You shot, damn it.

College boy. You're bad enough you out there reading all the books, making all them great, trying to go that goddamn college and shit. But you will not. be skinny when you do it. My daddy was a big fat dumb fuck. His daddy was a big fat dumb fuck. And that's the reason you never met him. But my point is,

my point is, is that like take everything that we're saying about this person and then realize that he's going to Georgia Tech. So it just shows you that like, clearly he wasn't the dumbest motherfucker on earth, but like that's just still such a thing. that's hard to overcome.

Like once you, if you grow up, just drinking Mountain Dew and eating raw hamburger patties. He was sizzling bacon and his tears was falling into the bacon. He was just like, oh, no. You know he's got... Salty, boy.

Dude, MSG and them tears. Me and Corey have taught before plenty of times when we're up being fad and sat together. Fad and sat. Yeah. Fat and sad. I didn't realize that's

said that fat and sad you get it yeah uh we talk about how like we just be trash and just do ourselves wrong on the road especially and it feels like it feels like when you're out there doing it if i know it feels to both of us like we just wake up start punishing ourselves and do that all god damn day until we fall asleep in a pile of sun sundry Snickers ice cream bar wrappers. And wake up in complete misery. And wake up miserable and do it all again, baby. God damn.

Snickers ice cream bars are too good, though. They are too good. And it's all this drinking too oftentimes when we're on the road. And alcohol has so much fucking calories in it, right? And the next day makes you so much more of an empty vessel for which to put just garbage shit. Yes.

So we just sometimes we'll be like, man, just what do you think these truly big fat, dumb fucks out here? Like, what is their day to day like? You know what I mean? Like, think about what we do. It has to be more than that. And we do not hit. No. And it's like, we hit way harder.

And then look at a fucking 400 pound motherfucker who don't drink like booze. And plenty of them do. But there's also tons that don't. And it's like. What is he doing? I know. Like, imagine the inner working. Because again, like that man's fat regimen.

It's the soda. I mean, it's so much, because we don't drink soda. And like, as much as we talk about how we don't hit, the one thing I will give myself is like, I do have a number that I've only hit three times in the past eight years. But that's my number of you can't ever go above the, you can like get right to fuck to it. But as soon as you get to that,

do what is that how much you weigh yeah like and i'm way way down from it now because i hit it during the pandemic saw the number on the scale and as soon if i ever what is it for you mine's two 30 mine's 26 all right yeah two 30 years is slightly more specific than mine so yeah right yeah right now i know that's just the baddest you ever got the fattest i ever got was 236 and that's when and then from from now on if i ever start getting close to that which like really i'm too 100, like, well, I was 200, when I left to come out here 11 days ago, and I have drank every single day since I've been out here. I have fucking gotten 7-11 on Uber Eats more than once.

Like, I see no connection. Last night, my goddamn Xbox controllers was about to die, which meant that I wouldn't be able to watch my Netflix and my stories and my hotel room that you were supposed to share with me so I've had double beds all goddamn wheat but then your fucking ass would decide to go down to Florida with ACosh. And I knew that my battery, my batterers was going to die, but I was too fat

and sad to walk to the store. So I had Uber eats 7-Eleven bring me a case of batteries and a pint of Ben and Jerry's fucking cherry. Related, are y'all drunk right now? I've been drinking.

I'm not. I'm sobering right now. I've been drinking. I don't know what's wrong. with me. I'm just hitting today weirdly, which I shouldn't be. It's because I didn't drink yesterday for the first time. Right around the time

I did an impression of an Italian man, it kicked in. And here we go. So now, my actually, I actually do, I have, it's less a number, more of a rule, and it's that like, when I start fatten out of all my clothes, yeah, but me today. I refuse to go by, I refuse,

I fundamentally refuse, yeah, to go somewhere and purchase new clothing. And you've been doing that your whole life regardless. Because I'm, yeah, right, because just, yeah, trash. Poor trash. People have to give me clothes or I don't have clothes. It's always been that way. But I refuse to go somewhere and purchase new clothes for the reason of clothes not fit. Of being too fat to fit in the clothes I have. Me too. That's where I always, that's the ceiling I hit when I start putting it back together. Do you though have a fat clothes?

Yeah, of course. I was best I put it. I have putting a shirt for all. I'm like, well, I, if you get it out of that one, if you lose a lot of way, you'll go buy new clothes, because that's a way different. I just recently unfatted back into my Joe Diffy shirt, which is for me. Yeah. Hey, speaking of Joe Diffy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's tease that, I guess.

Well, actually, hang on, we will, but two sharks been trying to say something probably five minutes. I just have a question. Once you guys tip the scales to fatty levels that are concerning, do you have drastic lifestyle changes that are like I work out? I do this, I don't eat this. What does that look like? Granted, like for me, like, I just changed my life back in October and have really kind of just maintained that same lifestyle. For the first time in my life, when a doctor asked me if I'm, like, how active I am, I can

legitimately say vary and not be lying. You know what I mean? Like, I, every single day, I bear minimum go for an hour and a half walk. the park but I also work out with weights three times a week. I jog a couple miles at least twice a week. The food is that like, and I eat better, but like the food's the one thing where like because I do all that, I will let myself like fucking have too many cheeseburgers sometimes, but I still do all that other stuff.

And back in October, I just, the pandemic was just like so rough on all our bodies. I was like, man, you know what? You've got to like, like obviously, and I suffer from depression and anxiety. and I just got to the point where I was like, you're not putting yourself in position to win. Like so much of this isn't your fault, but like you're not putting yourself in a position to win and you're making it so much worse on yourself.

And so I just changed my lifestyle. And now my lifestyle kind of just is that, except for I came out here for 11 days to work on some stuff and kind of just let myself off the hook and was like, just fucking have fun with your friends. And, but I'm going to have to really get back to it when I get back. So for me, people, I can only see the shock in people's eyes when I tell them this, and I understand why.

But I have, for most of my adult life, I've been pretty consistent about working out. Working out's ever been a problem for me. And people are about, wow, really, you cannot tell at all. And I'm like, yeah, well, that's just because of how horribly I live otherwise. Because here's what happens for me. You said when you really start to tip the scales, you're like, oh, I got to change something. I can take you right every single time that's ever happened, what that means is I have, for whatever reason, stopped exercising for a few weeks or something.

Which is all it takes. And I'm saying, so I'm saying, and if I do that, like at the beginning of the pandemic, when it first started, I wasn't working out, and I was just starting to bake cookies and shit or whatever.

And buddy, I'm talking five, six weeks easy. I can balloon up to the fattest that I'll ever be. And so when you're like, when that happens you like, God, that look like all it means for me is that I start like working out again.

But this past year, I've been way more hardcore about it than I was before. Like since it goes beyond the beginning of the year, but I'm saying since January 1st of this year to right now, which is August 10th, I might have not exercised on any given day maybe seven times. Like otherwise it's every single day. I did it this morning. I've did it the whole time he'd been here. days a week.

Do what? So you do seven days a week? Seven days a week, yeah, every day. I've done it on the road so far. Like I've been, but I'm still, I don't eat, I don't eat that crazy either. I just don't hit is the thing. I'm just genetically, I'm very much genetically predisposed towards being a fat, dumb fuck. Yes, 100%.

I have to fight tooth and nail to not be. And that's the truth. if I I would have to eat we talked about this on show before us we can move on to the next thing in a minute but I have to like I would have to eat fucking white fish and broccoli every day and nothing else and also work out white fish also work out like I currently do but eat like a fucking marvel superhero actor diet just to not be flabby or whatever last night I made white fresh and broccoli and rice mostly it's because of what we had. And that was brown. Don't you put the baby in a corner? And about 9.30, Andy came in a living room with chocolate-covered strawberries, which was the only sweet thing she could find in our house to make.

And we ate, I would say, a thousand calories a piece worth. Like one meal of white fish and broccoli, and we were like, no, let's go back to the old meat. For sure, dude. Yeah, it's just too. That part is too hard. The sticking to, like, working out is actually not. difficult for me. It never has been. That part is almost impossible. Well, me and Rob, Rob, who is one of my best friends and also my personal trainer, he gets super mad at me.

Is he Rob now that he's a personal trainer? Yeah, Rob is my personal trainer. Rob B is my drunk, stupid friend who texts me, idiot, sketch ideas. Yeah, Rob, because Rob is a personal trainer. Like, he gets mad at me because I tell him, I'm like, look, man, yeah, obviously in an ideal world, I would love to be like 185 and cut. I said, but I'll be honest with you because we've been working out together. I felt a lot better. I'm starting to see some tone that is by the way, gone after being out here. But I told him, I'm like, I'll be honest with you, man.

I'm kind of comfortable with being the 200-pounder that I am right now that works out with you. Because in doing that, I'm able to still like, you know, have cheeseburgers from time to time and have beers. But because I'm doing this with you, it kind of cancels out a little bit. And he's like, I just don't understand that. And I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Like, whatever. Like, if that's just what it's going to be, this is kind of like, the lifestyle that I'm living back home is like kind of my ideal happiness. It's like I'm getting enough workout to like feel like I'm not a piece of shit.

And then like I work out. I get super hungry. And then like the cheeseburger tastes way better because I've like worked out my goddamn back all day and shit. And like I know that like at the end of the day it's kind of canceling out. But I'm like that that was worth it, you know, to me. Like, I'm okay being that way. It's kind of like, I know the older I get, the more that will stop canceling out, and I'll have to double that workout to have the cheeseburger.

Yeah, but man, any way you can find happiness to do it. And it's kind of like with Robbie, you mentioned him sending you dumb sketches. I've heard you talk about how you've been like, Robbie, why don't you push that more? And it's like, because he's happy sending you 10 ideas. You laugh at nine of them and maybe one of them you use some way. That's, you know what I mean? That's the, he wants to look like a fucking personal trainer. you just want to kind of...

Exactly. Dude, and I'm serious, man, y'all. It's crazy. Like, Robbie is as passionate about personal training and working out and eating good and building his body as we are at comedy. And I cannot wrap my brain around that. And I guess he can't wrap his brain around my shit.

But like, again, when I tell him like, yeah, I'm fine with just kind of looking okay, he's like, but you could look amazing. And I'm like, yeah, but then I wouldn't be able to have this milkshake, though. You should say, if you order an entree meal from 7-Eleven via Uber Eats, you might be a fat fuck. Too short, thanks for being on the show with us.

We almost transitioned on the speaking of Joe Diffey. Guys, we have a new project, a new, I don't know, what do we call it, side podcast, short-lived podcast, limited series podcast. Limited series, there you go. Well-REB presents. Well-Rub presents, Bubba shot the podcast. We will be covering 90s, story songs. We will be starting that next week. We're going to put out the pilot episode,

and we've decided to include Tushar, and the reason why, from my perspective, everybody joined in is Tushar's a guy who was around in the country in Alabama in the 90s, but at the same time, obviously, comes from a different world than us. So it's not like we brought in our buddy from New York or India, who has no way of knowing what any of this culture or songs about. it's like we brought in a guy who kind of understands a culture but didn't grow up with these songs like we did. We needed somebody who wasn't white.

I thought you're just going to say we brought him in because he's the Indian outlaw. Right. Which we will cover. I'm half Cherokee and half Choctaw. That's right. What's your baby? A chippewa.

I say let's go out on Matt and y'all can check it out. Thank you all. It's right here where you get all your railroad. well-read wares. I got that. See y'all. Thank you all for listening to the well-read show.

We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you. God bless you. Good night and skew. That was hilarious.