wellRED podcast - #234 - Trae and His Fam Go to an Escape Room + History talk!

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

this week Corey and Trae talk about escape rooms, wild history facts, and then Drew slides in at the last second to talk about modern day slavery! sponsors Lucy.co promocode RED Helixsleep.com/wellred

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can sun. Well, here we are, Cho, you and I, no longer together. Always a shame, but that's all right. We'll get through it somehow. It won't be long until we're together again this weekend. As of the time people hear this, starting tomorrow, Thursday, August 19th through the 21st, we're going to be at World Famous Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado,

of if one of the very best comedy clubs in the country, please come and see us. We're very much looking forward to it. Yeah, we are. And yeah, and hey, to piggyback on what you just said, I do miss you. I got all set up here to do the Zoom.

And I was like, oh, man, I kind of spalled myself with being in L.A. for, you know, 12, 13 straight days, hanging out with the homie, having a human connection. That was nice.

But, hey, we'll get, like you said, we'll get to have it in a couple days. Denver, Colorado, August 19th, they're 21st. Go to well-red, Comedy.com for tickets.

W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. And, hey, if you're one of those, there's a bunch of you out there probably people who don't live in Denver, we're also coming to some other places. So just go to well-read comedy. com, check it out, get your ticket, come see us. We're, you know, we're trying to be safe. You know, the mask and all that.

And we're going to get through this and we're going to get back to some semblance of normality. And, yeah, I'm really excited, man. I've been working on some new jokes this week. You know, as Joe, I'm very sorry. I need to do another plug thing real quick. Okay, that's all right. We'll do this.

Get this out of the way. I don't need to let you all know. And no pressure only if you want to, just letting you know that I have started a Patreon. So, yes, if you want to become a patron of me, just as so your support, I'd appreciate it. But I'm trying to make it worth it. I've got two exclusive Patreon series, exclusive to Patreon series, one of which I rate and review American politicians. I started with Marsha Blackburn. and then episode number two was lindsay graham i also uh do a thing where i read the news in real

time off twitter and respond to it or riff off of it try to make it funny it's all very fucked up and sad yeah yeah that's part of the challenge we can do we have that's what you do baby i do yeah and so um both of those going on on patreon and some other fun stuff too we're going do some behind the scenes clips tour shit all that good stuff and again it's just a really cool way for you to show your support it's less than a goddamn cup of coffee. I mean, it's $5 a month for like, you know, a whole lot of extra tray in your life. That's right. Each of these series are like 10 minute clips on average, roughly. So, you know, you got plenty of extra content for the low, low price of five or if you should choose $10 a month.

And I would appreciate you considering going to patreon.com slash tray Crowder and supporting your boy, it would mean a lot to me. And it'll be fun. And if I may, because I don't know if people know this. This is a little bit of how the sausage get made. We're, you know, we're successful comedians. We've been comedians for a long time. We've been successful for a way lot less, but we are, I would consider us successful comedians. But the neurosis

and all that part of the process never goes away. So Trey was talking about doing this Patreon and then he sent he, as he often does with things when he's not sure about him, or if he's getting super nervous about doing a new thing, he sent me some of the clips that he was putting on, like, hey, I'm thinking about

doing this. And me and Trey have known each other for a long time. We don't have to watch each other sets all the time, you know, even though we love each other, it's hilarious. It's like, if you're somebody out there who as soon as a liberal redneck rant goes off, you're like, God dang, I could have dealt, I could have done with 10 more minutes

of that. You got to sign up for the Patreon. It's tremendous. I wish that I was able to do things like that, but the only thing that I'm that long-winded about is like the series finale of Loki, and nobody wants to hear that shit from me. So yeah, it's great. Is it Patreon.com slash Trey Crowder? That's right. Yeah, just my name.

T-R-A-E, T-R-A-E, T-R-Couter. Keeping it sample. Keeping it simple, you know. But, yeah, if you like what I do, you'll like the shit that I do on Patreon, and I'd love to see you over there. Okay, sorry, you were saying you're working on new material, that's fun. Yeah, it is fun, and it's like, you know, I can't, it's like a double-edged swords with new material because, like,

so often it happens that the more excited I am about a bit, ultimately the worse it will do. The last bit hits for people. Yeah, right. Yeah. And one that I'm just kind of like, we'll see, like I kind of had this idea or like I make it up on the spot. That'll end up being the one that closes an album. Yep, yep. And I say all that to say this, I'm so fucking excited about everything. Everything I've been, like, I'm too excited. Like, I'm like, oh man, this is really good. Like, you're back to form right here. And unfortunately, like, as you know, like, you can write

your ass off and you can put it all on the page and stand up. But like at the end of the day, it doesn't mean anything until you see how it goes in front of a crowd. Right. Well, we, you know, we, uh, we, we, we've only done one weekend's worth of shows. It was in Birmingham, Alabama. It's the only ones we've done so far. Denver is weekend number two. And I had for my set at Birmingham, it was all brand. I wrote a bunch, a whole brand new set for that, that I then like, you know, was trying to figure out. Like you said, I also, pretty much all of it, I was, like, oh, I'm really, really digging this. We'll see how it goes.

And it all, none of it went poorly. Oh, yeah, great shows. A lot of it was like, yeah. And a lot of it was like, and this is part of the fun of it. Tweaking it, massage, okay, I can get rid of that. I don't need that and it didn't hit that hard or I could do something else or whatever, just sort of figuring it out. And over the course of the weekend doing multiple shows, like sort of feeling yourself

figuring it out is, you know, one of the most exciting parts of doing it. But I'm, you know, obviously I'm still, I'm still in that. that process. So I'm got that set and I'm going to work it more this weekend. And, uh, but yeah, it's very exciting. It's fucking honestly, well, especially when you do like longer sets, like we did, you know, at least 30 or 40, 45 minutes or whatever like, for me anyway, some comics are different. It's very, very rare that I ever walk on stage in normal times. It's very rare, almost never, that I'll walk on stage and be doing all new material for sure. Because you,

you like do it in chunks. You slide a new thing in the middle. You 10 minutes tonight. Yeah. Yeah, that type of thing. So there's an added element right now where we were taken out of the game for 18 months by the universe. Brutal. And so it's like going back up there in front of an actual crowd that came to see us,

all brand new material that never been done before was fucking very nerve-wracking, but also exhilarating. And it was, yeah, a lot of fun. So I can't wait to keep going with it. Yeah, man. and it's like, it's, it's another thing too, but like the pandemic, when this happened and we all got locked in to our houses, I was like, at that time, so thankful that like, I was like, God, dang, I'm so glad that I don't, that I didn't move to New York or L.A. right before this. Like, dang, this is awesome that I'm in Georgia when this is all. But now I'm going through the complete opposite where like, it used to, I never thought, I was like, I don't have to live where there's a lot of comedy clubs because we tour so much that I'm always going up. Like I'm going up literally almost every week. And hell, if there's a, if we have a week off, I'm fine with being like, you know what, man, it's okay.

Like you literally are a lot. It's probably better for you to take a break from doing this. Because like there's a, you can get rusty, but you can also like overripping the fruit and it fall off too. Like you can get like too comfortable with it. And then it's like you're just going through the motions. But like now though, where like we've been off for a while and like there's like, Chattanooga has. has some rooms, but it's not like you're getting up every night. And so now, like, the rust is really, like, sticking to me.

Like, I felt like I knocked it off in Birmingham. And then it's like, oh, then we had a show cancel. And I'm like, oh, no, this is horrible. But comedy works in Denver, which, as we talked about, not only one of the best clubs in the world for just, like, people to see a show, but, like, comedians love it too because it's such a, like, it's like going to the gym. Like, it's a real good place to, like, really get it and find it because the atmosphere is just so tremendous. Like, you know, you go up there with some like half, half decent premises. You'll work it out by the end of the show.

And you're going to, you're going to find it. Everybody kind of gets on like a wave in that club. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. I wanted to ask you, I wanted to tell you a brief story and get your feedback on it, how you would have reacted. And it's about Katie.

And she's already posted this. She's already posted this on her own Facebook. So I'm totally in the clear. What do you want to bet? What do you want to bet that I would have reacted? the exact same way you did and whatever that is. Me, her, and the boys went to an escape room, a spaceship themed escape room on Saturday, which I'm so glad this is getting brought up.

You pointed out, I texted y'all saying we were doing that, and you pointed out that that's a hilarious thing to do towards the end. Because they started school today. So it's like the last week before school. You're like, that's a hilarious thing to do after 18 months of being, you know, locked down or whatever. It's like, yeah, let's go get locked in a room together, just us, an even smaller room. And you're right. It is, obviously, little different. But I hadn't even thought about that.

I've always been intrigued by those. I play little, I play video games that kind of have escape room elements, whatever, but I've never actually done one. So we went. And, of course, I told you all I was like, well, I'm doing an escape room this afternoon. So I'll be busy this evening getting divorced. Divorce. Because I know what's going to happen being her going to get in there and just arguing immediately

because she thinks this and it ought to be this. And we didn't argue, but here's what happened. So the escape room, I'm not going to give any of the things away about it, you know, but they had these rules. It said on the website. You mean from like a spoiler aspect? Like you don't want to spoil an escape room for people? Also just, I mean, I did mean that,

but it also just isn't worth getting into like those specifics of it because it's one of those like you had to be there type things. But they had age restrictions on the website. Well, they had a question about age restrictions in the FAQ. And they said, we recommend children be at least 10 years old. So they understand the game and also are respectful of the, the equipment or whatever, you know, kids destroy shit.

My sons are eight and nine, and they're both pretty smart. I knew they would have no trouble understanding it. And also, they're pretty well behaved when it comes to that type of thing. So I told them. They're like the two that are like, they're actually more well behaved in public than they are at home. So much. Which is great, I would say.

Yeah, no, it is cool. It's better than the opposite way. Opposite. Yeah. Yes. Like, it's funny this has come up in that you say that. because just a second ago, I got a message on my phone from, again, today's the first day school. The teacher is like they're angels. Benton's teacher on the first day school sent me a message on the classroom app and said,

I just want to let you know that Benton is such a polite and respectful, whatever. And I haven't said anything yet, but I'm going to be like, well, glad he's that way there because he's a fucking spark plug at the house. I was about to say, for those here who don't know the difference between the two, Benton, one of the craziest little motherfuckers I've ever met. And I say that with love. You know, that's my, that's my boy dog. Like, I love him, but, like, absolute fucking unbridled lunatic. Lunatic. Yes, he is.

But apparently very well behaved at school. And also, yeah, like you said, they're that way in public, too. And again, that is great. That's awesome. So I wasn't worried about them. But they are technically, like, under the age suggestion. So we get there, and I didn't bring that up or nothing, but he kind of, he doesn't single them out, but the guy working there goes over this thing where he goes over all the

things. He's like, you know, please don't mess with it. Like, this is just for decoration. the wires are not part of it. Please don't pull the wires out of the wall. Please don't put, you know. And Katie said she was like, so clearly these are things that previous groups have done. He was like, yeah, rules exist for a reason.

So yeah, anyway, just please don't do any of that. We're like, okay, we got it. We get in there. We start going through the thing. And at one point, you have an hour to do it. We've got like 15 minutes left and we still have a lot to do. And I'm trying to decode these little, I'm trying to decode this riddle to unlock these combination locks on this little lockbox that looks roughly the length

size of like a screwdriver or something. Katie has found a box that has these like, she's like, we know that that box is what we got to get into for whatever reason. And she's like, that box you're trying to open has the screwdriver in it, I bet. And I was like, yeah, probably. So I'm trying to decode

this riddle. And meanwhile, she's over there hunkered down by the box. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm unscrewing these screws. And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, with my fingernails. I'm unscrewing the screws. And I was like, don't know, don't do that. Like, fucking, we got to get this riddle. or whatever and she's like, they're loose anyway.

And she just unscrewed it, popped it open, pulled, they had laser guns in there. We do some laser gun shit. We actually ended up beating it with five minutes left. The guy come in there and he goes, okay, so you guys did very well because it seems like you guys. She did a whole bunch of stuff. Yeah.

And she told him, she told him she was like, so there was a screwdriver in that box right. And he was like, no, what are you talking about? And she was like, oh, I just assumed there was a screwdriver because the screws were loose. So I got them open. He was like, you did what? of course she wasn't supposed to unscrew the box it wasn't it was a magnet lock you were supposed to

unlock it was never supposed to be she took it apart basically yeah yeah and the guy was but it weren't no that's not good you know i mean he he wasn't like freaking out or nothing but it was clearly a thing and i can't she just the whole time has been just utterly up she's like she's like what it needed to be opened you know and i knew that would open it so i opened it and my you know my fuck my nerdy ass or whatever my thing was like that's not it's not the spirit of the game katy right like i feel we have an asterisk, okay? Like, I feel tainted by that victory because we did, we failed to complete the proper steps. I know we beat it, but we only beat it because you fucking cheated.

You know, we have an asterisk on our victory now. I don't feel good about that because you fucking cheated. You can't be doing that. And she's just still to this moment, you know, she's like, she just don't see it. She's unapologetic about it. She's like, I found a creative solution to a problem and it worked, you know, and that's like all she cares about. And it's just sort of like a fundamental difference between us. And I was just wondering if you were in that scenario,

what Amber's drunk ass would have done in the first place, but also, like, I don't know, just how you react to all that. Well, I'll just be straight up real honest with you. I'm trying to, I'm trying to be more self-aware lately. I think, number one, that Amber would never. That would never, she would never have done that. And I don't mean like, and I don't mean that she would have been, like we're not supposed to do that.

That wouldn't have crossed our goddamn mind to do. Right. Had she done that, though, and that guy had been having that, I would have been, I probably would have been freaking out more than you because I hate being in situations like that. And I would have felt exactly like you. I'd been like, we've just Barry Bonds this shit. Like, clearly it got done. But my point is about the whole being more self-aware, I'm more likely to have done what

Katie did. You know what I mean? Like, I could see myself being like, well, God damn, I can get this motherfucker open. You know what I mean? Yeah. was a very red-ass thing to have done, you know, but, but yeah, no, and the reason you said you probably, if you'd have been in the scenario I was, you would have been freaking out more because you don't like to be in those situations. I really, I honestly, I'm the same way. I would have been more

emphatic, but in my head, I was like, she ain't going to get that fucking thing open. That's what I thought. For sure. I was like, we got to get in this box to open that box. She's over there, fucking around with it. She ain't going to get it open. I'm just going to keep trying to solve this the right way. And then she's like, boys, come here. And I turn out and look. And she's just got it. taken apart and pulled open. And then I was like, God damn, Katie, what the fuck? What'd you do? You know, and by then it was too late.

Yeah, and this is, this is like a show in your work type thing too. Right. At the end, she's like, well, we got it. What does it matter? And it's like, right about how you got to go through the right steps to get it. It don't just matter that you got to the right answer. Because like, yeah, anyone can just come in here with a billy stick and just, right, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then we're out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Having said all that, though, I, uh, because again, a bit of a dork and a nerd or whatever, I fucking loved that. Yeah, I figured that you were. That whole thing. I loved it.

I can't wait to go and do another one. I'm probably going to become like an escape room junkie now. I had a great time in spite of my fucking, you know, cheating-ass wife, but just sounds worse than it is. Y'all know what I mean? You just heard the story. I've thought before, but I know it wouldn't, it doesn't really work because you're not, you're not allowed, obviously, to record the experience or nothing,

because they have to keep it all a secret. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know why I'm even about to say this, but I've thought before that me and you and Drew on the road doing one of those would be real funny. But again, we literally can't do that because they won't allow it. Yeah, it would have to be a set up thing where they're like, okay, actually we were about to retire this particular game. Because I'm sure that they, of course they do that.

And they have like different games in rotation. But I can tell you right fucking now, someone's head would end up in that box. Yeah, I know. that's why it would be funny is because you know it would be some shit. And I won't say, but I'll let our audience figure out,

I know exactly what would be the problem. I'm not going to say, but I know exactly what it would be. Now, I mean, granted, like, that would be, you'd be so in daddy mode. Yeah, I would. I know I would. I'd be trying to corral both of y'all and whatever else.

Well, I'm good at shit like that. Yeah, I was going to ask a few, You think that if you are into like, you think those would hit for you. Yeah. I'm like weirdly good at things like that. And I have no idea why because it doesn't seem like it's within my skill because it requires paying attention and following directions. But like if it's because I'm real competitive. If it's in order to win something, then I can just be like, all right, here we go.

I'm going to. But yeah, I would end up fucking, me and Drew would end up stabbing each other for sure. Yeah. yeah well uh i don't know yeah you're right i was thinking i was like yeah well we know we could just do it just for fun my head but you right it probably would end up not hitting who would be it'd be a homicide it'd be a whole thing no i mean we could do it i think that it would be good to do and then podcast right afterwards and talking about it yeah that would be fun i'm not dude i'm more than i'm more than into do it into doing it but see drew to me seems like he would do the katy shit

except for yeah i agree He would break something, though. Right. He would break something. We got to get this open, so fuck it and just be trying to break it open or whatever. And then when we have the conversation afterwards with the dude, it doesn't go as well as when you and Katie had that conversation. I mean, I'm not in left field here, am I? No, no.

And it was funny, too, when the guy that worked there came in, just how, again, Katie was just so oblivious. She was like telling him exactly what she had done and like smiling and laughing about it. just, yeah, like he was going to be into it. And he, of course, was reacting like, you did what? Oh, no, no, that's not right at all. She's just like, it's just not phasing her at all. She's like, yeah, I just figured you know. So I just, like.

Why not? Yeah, and it worked. So that's cool. And he's like a 20 year old kid, you know, and he's just like, yeah, well, that's, okay, I guess we got a new rule now. So thanks for that. And it's just all having no effect on her. Yeah, again, no, Amber would have never done that.

In a million years, I don't think it would have occurred to her to do that. And, yeah, Drew would just pick the box up and threw it against the floor. And been like, oh, man, fuck it, man. They got lost prevention. It's a right off for them. And then he would have stabbed the guy with like a piece of wood that fell off of it or some shit like that. So maybe not the best of ideas. But it would be fun.

I'm into it. Amber said that Amber's done one of them before, by the way. Yeah. And I, I mean, that checks out to me because I feel like. It's a very white woman. Listen, I just did it and I loved it. But they feel very like white person-y to me. Yeah, oh, they are.

Yeah. Why would a black person want to be locked in a room? Right. And have like somebody's been murdered. Like, yeah, yeah, I'm not getting arrested. You know, like that's not a great thing. That's not a great. Me and Amber, we're actually just talking about it.

I can't remember the comedian. It might have been Gene Getman. If it's not, if you know who this comedian was, tell me, I'll give them credit. But like, they had this joke that like only, like, skydiving is. such a white person thing because white people were just like, I can't even have gravity oppress me. You know, that's, it's, it's, we have to add, we have to add levels of excitement to our life that otherwise would never be there.

We have to like fabricate suspense and danger and things like that. Like also, I feel like intermittent fasting is a super. Yes. Of course. Just not eating every now and then for fun. Just, yeah. Like, just to, just to feel alive and because it's good for your hair. I was like choosing not to like, no, I have so much food.

Yeah. I'm choosing not to eat it for hours on end. Any type of cleanse, any type of cleanse at all is like such a white. And for the record, I hope that's very clear that we don't mean like only white people. It's a privilegey thing. Right. You know what I mean? It's a privilegey thing.

It's not like I know that there are some, you know, crunchy black woman yoga people. I am very aware of that. But like the, you know, know, stereotypical, yeah, if I hear somebody that's intermittent and fastening or going skydiving this, I know exactly who they are in my brain. And let's just say they look a lot more like Katie and Amber than they do Roddy White. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, without a doubt. But Amber said she did one of those and I was like, I was like, how'd it go? And I very much wanted it to be like, we had to stay in there. We got locked in there overnight because we were so

stupid. Who did she do it with? Like girlfriends of hers? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Like a bunch of girlfriends. They were like drunk after brunch or something? Hammered. Hammered drunk. And I said, what happened? She goes, I don't really remember much of it, which is how you wouldn't believe so many of her stories start off.

She says, I don't remember much of it. She goes, I just remembered at the very beginning, everyone was handcuffed together. Like, all of us were handcuffed together. She goes, but I'm in the middle. And so she's like, she's like the bee and the human centipede. like she's she's handcuffed and she goes and this person was trying to go this way and this group was trying to go this way and it ended up like the handcuffs ended up like cutting her wrist and she was like bleeding and shit because they were just like they were all hammered drunk and

they were just jerking her around falling yeah just they're all independently falling but not being able to because they're holding each other up it's like yeah it's like a white lady perpetual motion machine or something she's like they're constantly in a state of stumbling Yeah, and she told me, like, who all was in that group, and some of them are big old women, boys. So, like, I know, I know that, like, they're sure holes. She was, yeah, like a yacht anchor on one hand. So, yeah, she's, but she's like, I think we had fun. I'm sure she peaked in the box with the screwdriver.

Did she say they got through it, though? Yeah. Like a group, they got through it? Okay. Yeah, they got through it. This one I went to, I was expecting. I mean, I don't. They could be faking these numbers.

They could say anything they want. But you walk in there and they have the percentage rate of completion. They've got three gains in this one, the building I went to. And each one of them is like 30 something percent. I saw that. And I was like, that's way lower than I thought. And again, we would at we 100 percent would have failed if Katie hadn't. Really?

Yeah, yeah. So like, I'm sure they vary wildly in degree of difficulty. But I'm saying, like, it was, I was going to be upset if it was like overly simplistic, but it wasn't. It wasn't like crazy hard. I mean, it was like, it was right in the sweet spot, I thought in terms of difficulty.

But I would have, if you told me that Amber and her drunk friends went into the one I just did, I would bet a significant amount of money that they wouldn't have completed it. And if they're all roughly that difficult, then I'm kind of impressed that they solved the one they were in. Well,

they might pro-rate them in a way. Like, like they see the group coming in. They're like, dial that one back to a four. They actually, now that you mentioned that, I know for a fact that they do, they have like difficulty ratings on the,

on the rooms. Some of them are easier than others. Yeah. And I mean, they see these pumpkin latteed, Walmart just walk in. They're just like slurring their words. They're like,

hey, give them the, yeah, give them, give them the toddler experience and really make them feel like. Right. Because they're going to leave a real shitty review if they stay locked in there for an,

yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. We need these white women to have a good time. Yeah, absolutely. Hey.

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Yeah, I texted you the other day, but I don't know if you respond this. I wanted to talk about it just in terms of it being, I don't exactly know where to go with this other than like my mind is genuinely blown. did you know that both Ronald Reagan and Thomas Jefferson were alive at the same time Harriet Tubman was alive? I think I have heard that before. There's another one that's like. Barbara, it's, I know which one it is. Barbara Walters.

And Frank. And Ann Frank. All the same age. All born on the same exact day, I think. Yeah. That shit. Yeah. It's wild.

Dude, that Harriet Tubbin, like Ronald Reagan, Thomas Jefferson shit. But like, and for the record, what they would the original poster, it was on Reddit so I don't know who it was. Like it's way harder to like, I don't know if it was the, this original poster. It was their meme or whatever. Regardless, it was used to illustrate how we think, how old, like we think, right, racism and slavery is like old as shit. Right. And it's like, dude, I watched Ronald Reagan's funeral and that dude was alive when Harriet Tubman was alive, who was alive when Thomas Jefferson was alive. Like, that shit, like, it's not like I, before that, I was like, this country's fine.

But like, it just really fucked me up. I was like, oh, my God, dude. We've got so long ago. Did you, right. I've seen a few of those facts all serving to illustrate how young this country really is and how it really wasn't that long ago. Yeah. Because Thomas Jefferson's OG.

He's OG. Did you come across the one about President John Tyler? No. I don't know much about that, dude. He was into birds, wasn't he? This is literally the only thing I do know about him, but this is fucking wild and it's in the it's in the same lane is what you were just saying john tyler was the 10th president of the united states he was born in 1790 okay and he has a living grandson right now to date

grandson not great grandson he has a grandson named harrison ruffin tyler who's 91 years old 92, I guess now, who is still alive. So that dude's papal was born in 1790 and was the 10th president of the United States. A dude that's alive right now. It's fucking, that shit is insane. Is he low, did you think? I don't know. Because it's like that.

Like, I just assumed, I mean, as a president, so I mean, obviously it's like John Tyler clearly when he was like in his 80s or maybe 90s got a young woman pregnant, right? and then that son probably had his kid way way late. That's exactly what happened. Who gives a shit? I mean, obviously that's how I... It's insane. That's crazy.

But like, I just have to imagine that like, I know that the 10th president's a lot different than like a president now in the ways. Like there's just like there's so many more, so many more ways to like capitalize on fame now than there used to be. But like I just got to imagine that if you were the 10th president of the United States, like, you had you had some money like afterwards you know what I mean like and then his son probably would be able to capitalize it oh dude yeah back then everything back then everything was land you know and I feel like you had to be a big fucking landowner which means you probably had slaves in order to be one of them early presidents you know and big landowners were the fucking wealthy elites of that day so I would almost guarantee you that that this this uh this grandson this 92-year-old grandson. He come from old slave money, you know, old cotton money. So the daddy, the daddy's born freaking. I should probably look that up instead of just saying that.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to slam or John Tyler. Yeah, I don't want to get John Tyler's people after me or nothing. Yeah, yeah, to one generation removed. Tyler was born to a prominent Virginia family, his family, like many prominent white southern families in the U.S. at the time, we're slaveholders. Yeah, there you go. Neld it. I mean, pretty much right.

pretty sturdy lane to go out on. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of ropes on that limb. And so he, like, his, his, his, this motherfucker's papal was born 14-ish years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. And then his daddy was alive during the Emancipation Proclamation. And then this motherfucker is alive during Trump's presidency. Right. Yeah.

That is bananas. It's crazy. That is fucking bananas, dude. Like, my grandma was born in 1920, and that shit is just like, god, that's wild. But, like, bro, 1700s? There's a time loop or something. You've probably heard this before, I assume.

And I don't, this is just a thing I've heard. I can't point to a direct source ring thing. But I've heard that, like, it was this focused campaign. You know how we see all these civil rights era pictures and stuff? And they're all black and white. They made them black and white. They didn't have to be. black and white or weren't automatically black and white.

They were made black and white so that people think of it as like ancient history, which I'm not going to lie, being born in the 80s. I always kind of thought of it that way. But dude, these old fucking mammals and papaws that are alive today were the ones holding the fucking fire hoses and throwing the fucking rocks and shit in those goddamn pictures. Like, they're still here, you know. And the old black people were the ones on the other end of it. Like they're still here.

They remember all that shit. It wasn't that long ago. It's crazy to think of. about. And if someone's out there and they, and you sincerely think, like, oh, making them black and white versus blah, blah, wouldn't matter either. You're insane. If you think that'd be, dude, that was a brilliant move on the big racism's part. Yeah, dude, that, that's actually, I'm glad that you used the word brilliant because it is. It's one of those examples of people always want to say that side, like, oh, everybody on that side's stupid. It's like, no, they're not. A lot of them are just bad. And that's one of them examples.

Like, that is like, if you're on that side and you're a terrible person, that was a fucking stroke of genius, dude. because like, yeah, like you said, man, like, you know, I saw another, I'm just, you got me on Reddit and I cannot. I'm sorry. I apologize for that. But I will say this, though, the one, the really, really good thing about Reddit is that like, if you, like, if you're in a subreddit, like, they're moderated so well that, like, some bullshit ain't going to creep in that ain't the shit that you want to look at. And so, like, I've curated my Reddit experience and at present, it's very good, you know, like, it's a lot of history. memes. It's a lot of Star Wars memes and shit like that. The history memes

obviously are the ones that like fuck me up the most because history while obviously interesting, American history at least, is so, so terrifying and just and it's and it was somebody posted some meme that was like

how do you think a black boomer feels when a white boomer says you know, we should go back to the 60s when everything was like a lot better. It's like that's so insane. I'm certain. I know that there, of course, was aspects. First off, the aspect of a white man's life in almost any decade is fine, you know, but I'm sure that in the 60s, if you were, had your head completely in the sand, like, yeah, the housing prices were fucking great, all that

shit, but like- Subjectively true, and it is just having your heads in the same. I mean, for me, when I, like, coming from a town like Salino, the factory left of the night, whatever, and how markedly different everything is now, like, I, they're not. thinking about the other aspects of it. And when you just, when you're myopic about it and you're a white person, like small town white person, middle class white person or whatever, it was objectively better for just them in the 50s and 60s. Part of also, the other huge thing they ignore, though, was that our tax rate on the rich

was fucking massive back then. Yes. Which is why I think that's actually the biggest reason. Eisenhower's tax rate was like 90%? It was insane, dude. And like, they don't, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, ignore that part too. Like,

that's the biggest reason. It ain't got nothing to do with fucking black people or Mexicans or any of that or gays. It ain't, or Muslims. It ain't got nothing to do with any of them. That's what it is. The fucking rich people took over killed the middle class.

So things were better for them. But they, like, blame all the wrong people for it being worse for them today, even though it objectively is. If their whole thing was like fucking tax and or eat the rich because fuck them, then I'd be totally on board. with their rhetoric, obviously. But they just...

Yeah, as long as like it doesn't reverse the civil rights movement and shit like that. Yeah, right. But they just don't... Yeah, right. No. Well, dude, like... Not that everybody doesn't cherry pick, but like I was thinking about that the other day

and I was trying to... I was trying to write a bit and then I realized like, this isn't funny, this is just kind of an observation that you have and maybe I'm the only one that has this observation. But like, I was thinking about... I was trying to think about unique differences between Democrats and Republicans. and one of them kind of occurred to me when I, you know,

I saw once again somebody talk about how they were the party of Lincoln and they freed the slaves. And I was like, I was sitting there thinking, I was like, why though when they're making that argument, does nobody ever bring up the fact that that if they truly want to say that, then they have to also admit that they're a big government party because Republicans were very big government back then.

Like during that time, Republican meant big government. And it's one of those things where it's like, when people go, well, look, either the Bible's all the way true or there ain't nothing in it true. It's one of the, if one part of the Bible's wrong, so that's why we go by all of it. And I'm like, well, then you have to follow that same logic. If you want to claim Lincoln, then you have to claim that Republicans were, Republicans are big government. So do that, but they don't. So I was thinking about the differences, and it was that Republicans can be doing

right now so much vile, horrible, deplorable, shit and then be like, hey, we freed the slaves 200 years ago. Aren't we great? So they can be doing a bunch of bad stuff and then talk about something great they did in the past to try to justify everything they're doing now, whereas Democrats are the complete opposite. They take someone who, let's say that they have someone who's being a really, really good person right now and doing a bunch of great word, but then they find out that 50 years ago,

he said the N word. They're like, you're out. You know what I mean? So it's literally like a complete. flip-flop. Like, if we find out you did something in the past that was horrible, we don't give a shit what you're doing now. And with Republicans, they don't give a shit what you're doing now. It's what you used to do. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like that character witnessy bullshit. And again, nothing about that is funny. It just occurred to me. I was like,

god damn, like if we did a little bit more of that, that would be like, like, we should be like, hey, man, come be a Democrat. They hated the blacks. You know what I mean? Like, why don't they go the other way? They did. They fucking hated them. They absolutely hated them. But it's like, and I mean, you know this, I know, but it's like what it's just, what's so fucked up about that is it, they've always really been the same people. Of course. It's just that literally the name, which seems to me the weirdest thing to have happened. Yeah, like, why do you change? Literally the names flip-flopped.

Yeah. And they just mean the opposite. But it's always been the same people on the two separate sides, you know, for the most part. And so even them doing that one thing we did. great 200 years ago. It's like you didn't. That wasn't y'all. That wasn't your ancestors that did that. And for the record, and for the record, your ancestors was fucking Calhouning them.

And for the record, I'm not saying it was us neither. You know what I mean? I'm not saying that shit either. Like, I don't know what Lincoln would actually be like if he, like, if you just took that guy, put him today, after his mind was completely blown by almost everything that he had to experience in 10 seconds, I don't know where that guy would fall in. I mean, you know, because you look at it, Lincoln famously said, Lincoln famously said, if I could win this war without free and one slave, I'd do it.

There's several ways to interpret that, whichever one you choose to is whatever. But like, you could say, he's like, yeah, I mean, look, that doesn't mean he didn't want a free slaves. All he was saying was, I do want this war to be over. I do anything to win this war. Right, right. But Robert E. Lee also famously said one time, if I could buy up all the slaves from everybody and free them, I would.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So which one of those, are you the party of Lincoln and Robert Lee's your hero? Or is Robert Lee Lee, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can use any of that bullshit.

Yeah, the past is fucking complicated. The past is complicated in nuance, and it doesn't fucking matter if Abraham Lincoln was a Democrat or Republican. Abraham Lincoln did the right thing in the moment. and these motherfuckers time and time again, we're living in it right now, don't do that shit. So I'm not really concerned with like the R or the D.

Are you a piece of shit or are you not a piece of shit? But they don't. They're like, no, 200 years ago, we freed the slaves. And then what? That seems like though that didn't hit for y'all. Like in every other thing that you've done in your life, it seems like that was no good. Yeah, which is all the most fervent modern.

day Republicans, you're saying you don't know how Lincoln would have turned out if you moved him forward 200 years in time. And yeah, I hear you. I guess you never really know, but all the most fervent modern day Republicans, if you move them backwards, 250 years or whatever in time, they 100% would have owned slaves. If they had the means to do it. Like I just, you know that for a fact. They do as much like oppressing, oppressing and subjugating and fucking, you know, racism and everything as they can get away with in the modern world. If they were back then, hell, a lot of them, you wouldn't even have to make them be born 250 years ago and grow up back then. You could just take it legal.

Just take them right now. Just take them right. Yeah, I was going to say, just take them right now and deposit them fully formed that many years ago. And they'd be like, which way to the slave market? Yes. Yes. But yeah, hell yeah, just make slavery legal right now. And they'd be lining up, dude.

Because that's a huge thing with them is like, like they look. at legality as the end-all-be-all to morals. Like if something is legal, that means it's not wrong. And like, I mean, technically by rule of the law, yes, but like, we know that that's not always fucking true. Like redlining is legal. That doesn't make it fucking right. Is that tied to like religion and the Bible and stuff?

In the Bible, it says, oh, by the law, the land. They're like, they're like, because I've also, I feel like that's related to, I've had people, and I'm sure we've talked about this before, but I've had religious people be like, well, Trey, without the Bible. how would we know, you know, the difference between right and wrong, you know, that whole thing of like, you know, that true detective line was like if the only thing, keep it. Yeah. Go ahead. You got it.

I thought I, I know it's McConaughey in the tent. He's like, brother, don't. If the only thing keeping you from, I can't remember it now. From being a good person is the threat of divine, uh, condemnation or something like that. Then you, my friend, a piece of shit. Yeah. Right. Like that whole thing.

like they think that way though like I need the Bible to tell me what's right and wrong and it's like that also projects on to what you're talking about because you're so right about it's like whatever the law says that's fine you know unless it's the tax law no I know but you know it's crazy that you say that because that where that comes from in the Bible of like obeying the laws of the land was like also directly tied to a verse I can't remember what what book or chapter or whatever but basically it was uh you give unto Caesar what Caesar asks. And it was basically just like, look, yeah, the Bible is your guiding line, but like, you also have to obey the laws of the land because that's just how society works. So like, yes, dude, they, but yeah, you're right. Not now, like, back then that, what they meant was Caesar's asking for taxes, dude. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, do that.

But now that's not the thing. But like, yeah, their whole thing is like, dude, if for some reason, if for, I don't know why there was a glitch in the system and tomorrow for some some wild thing happened and it became legal to have sex with your 12 year old niece. Some of these motherfuckers would be like, sweet,

we got 24 hours. You know what I mean? Like that's just how that works. It's legal. It's fine. And it's just so insane. But like, yeah, they totally like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, he was doing everything within the letter of the law. And it's like, again, hate to beat this drum. But like, at one point, slavery was legal.

That never once made it more. morally right. Never. Like, not at all. Yeah. Like, again, this, hell, the, the systemic racism in the police, for all of that shit is by letter of the law. Like, that's how it's, you know, set up. But like, yeah, dog, like, that's, that's, like, always, that's always been their shit. So, like, dude, Rand Paul would own so many slaves. Yeah. So many slaves. And I, I love thinking about, like, them revolting and beating him to death. Yeah, that does it For saying that No, no, you're fine When his fucking neighbor Almost beat him to death That hit for us

We talked about that on the podcast You made fun of it Because fuck him That's why But yeah, no dude Even like Just the In terms of morality

Like yeah, they don't slays as they could But dude also all these fucking Plutocrat mothers He's captains of industry Yeah But they tell Jeff Bezos has tried so hard He does, he almost has them I know

He comes as close as you could come to having legions of slaves. And like if you told him tomorrow, hey, we're cool with you having slaves. Like that. Drop of a hat. Please. I can push the slave, pull the slavery rope, you know, and then fucking rope drops down from the ceiling. He tugs on it and then they all just turn into slaves.

He would do that. Please understand. I'm on preface this by saying, there's almost nothing in human history as bad as literal colonial slavery. almost nothing. However, nowadays, since that is illegal, since that is illegal, if you are someone who is constantly paying minimum wage or almost below minimum wage to people knowing that they don't have health care and knowing that the money that you give them even on a 40 to 50 hour a week can't afford them a house and they basically have to work overtime just to make ends meet, if you're someone

like that who probably also has stock or owns out. right a for-profit prison. You are a fucking modern-day whipcracker, and I don't really know any other goddamn way to put it. Again, I know you actually don't have people living on your land that you're paying zero amounts of money, but it's goddamn real fucking close. Like, like you said, they came as close as they could to exploit. Like, again, I don't know any other way to put it. And I don't think that's fucking political.

Like, it just seems like, look, that's just what it is. And hits for y'all. So just admit that you're assholes. Well, and with like immigrants and stuff, it's even worse than that. For sure, they don't have to pay them any minimum. Right. It's almost like, again, it's as close to slavery as you could come. And I mean, there are, like slavery exists in the modern world and black market term, you know, human trafficking and all that shit.

It still happens. So, I mean, you know. Well, dude, the immigrant thing too is like it's so wild. Like the, the cognitive dissonance specifically in my area. And you know my area, wild as fuck, boy. I mean, my, my area is like, it's like, it's like the Q&ON shit. Like, we're in some sort of portal. You know what I mean?

Like, when you're in here, it's just, you know, when you come here, it's crazy. Like, the, like, so Dalton, Georgia, like, which is 15 minutes up the road, carpet capital of the world, of the world. There are, I hear, I've heard this my whole life, but like, there are, like, signs in Mexico telling Mexican, how to get to Dalton, Georgia, because they hire a bunch of, and I'm not using this term disparagingly, just have illegal immigrant,

undocumented workers, because it hits for them to not have to pay them as much money. Well, that's another, that's one of those laws, you're saying earlier, like, the law is,

you know, the final word on things, unless you can make more money by knowing you, and then they just do. But these same motherfuckers, these same motherfuckers, these same motherfuckers in Dalton, like,

there are so many billboards right in front of Carpets of Dalton and shit like that. It's like, we, you know, we support Donald Trump, build the wall, build. I'm like, guys, this whole city is built on y'all having the complete opposite in practice. You practice the complete opposite of that. Like if y'all, now don't get me wrong, would I love it if fucking Carpets of Dalton had to like start actually hiring American citizens and paying them a livable wage? Hell yeah, of course I would. Not necessarily at the expense of like

uprooting and kicking out a family who was just trying to make it in supposedly the greatest country on earth. But like, dude, like, I don't know, man. Hey, we got a guest here on the well-read podcast. Drew, Drew Dollars. Hey, Drew, we were talking about how,

you never believe this, how Republicans are full of shit and contradictory. Who? Republicans. Do you have any thoughts? On Republicans being contradictory and full of shit, I've never even experienced that in my whole life. That's sarcasm. Are you guys talking about anything specific?

We were talking about immigrants. Yeah. And I was talking about in Dalton, Georgia, how, like, you know, it's Carpets of Dalton. It's their biggest industry there. And, like, there's literally, from what I've heard my whole life, there's signs in Mexico telling people how to get to Dalton because they hire so many undocumented workers. But then also, Dalton is, like, such Trump country. country with like all these huge banners like over over carpets adult and probably put up by those people that are like you know trump build the wall build the wall and it's like dog your whole

industry is based on practicing the complete opposite of that like if these people don't get in then you've got to actually start paying white people something well my favorite thing about that is if there's white people in that area who can't get a job because the mexicans are taking you know seven dollars an hour or whatever yeah and they're like the people who own the factory, who are hiring those Mexicans, are putting up the Trump signs, and then the people who can't get the job are going, exactly. I know. That's not kind of business right there. It's like, that's the guy who's creating this problem for you in the first place.

Also, dude, there was a famous example in Alabama. I mean, hell, it's probably been 10 years ago now, but Alabama passed some super, super strict immigration laws. And then that fall, that harvest season or whatever, they had record crop losses, like disastrous crop losses. but that they literally could not find white Alabama people for that price. And it just, you know, it fucked the whole industry up because they ran the immigrants off. And, you know, I don't know whatever happened with that. I don't know if they went back on it or what, you know, Alabama is. But I'm just saying it's like they don't people won't they bitch and bitch and bitch.

But white people won't do them jobs for that amount of money. That's the thing. They go, they go, they go, these goddamn Mexicans are coming here and taking our jobs. And then we go, okay. yeah Donald Trump hired a bunch of undocumented workers to do this, this, this, and this. And they're like, yeah, well, as a businessman, he should have the right to do whatever he wants. You know, it's like, but the only, like, it's not like Mexicans are, it's not like these undocumented workers are coming here and creating the jobs. So the only way that they'd be able to do that is if your people quit fucking hiring them and paid goddamn American citizens a livable fucking wage.

And if they'd paid them a livable wage, then they would have been able to find motherfuckers in Alabama to pick them goddamn strawberries. I guarantee you that. Yeah. Yeah, baby. So that's what we've been talking about. Well, sometimes I do think there are some businessmen, and on the right and probably on the left, who are like, no, you know, I'm against building that wall,

let them in. And you think, oh, that's very nice and progressive of you. And then you get down to it. And it's like, because we need things, you know, like there's some Alabama's going, listen, y'all didn't took our slaves. Don't take our immigrants. That's actually kind of how we got into this.

We were talking about slaves. and how they would totally own slaves if they could, like, you know, the most hardcore. And then that led into the immigrant and cheap laborers. It's the perfect grift. It's like, hey, we get, we get the best of both the worlds. We get the cheap work

from the Mexicans. And we get everyone to be mad at the Mexicans for it. It's perfect. Like, it's fucking, again, it's brilliant. It's shitty, but it's, they're real good at that stuff. Dude, they're amazing. I know that Drew just got here, but we need to wrap this one up,

right because we do do an episode of Bubba which we've told people about so that's okay By the time they're hearing this you can go listen to the first episode Oh yeah right on so we've got another one to do and we shot the podcast We guys closed Denver

Yeah we did Can I plug quickly we obviously lost Arkansas I'm going to do a music festival in Knoxville Our show by the way We lost a show in Arkansas Just in case anybody Just in case anybody they didn't succeed I mean, I don't know.

Check the news. That's why I'm late, boys. We've reported from the field. We lost Arkansas. The goddamn pigs was at it again. Jason Isbell, you son of a bitch? Anyway, I'll be in Knoxville at Second Bell Music Festival.

Tickets are $50, but that's for two days of awesome music. Hound Mouth's going to be there. Jay Ruddy Walson's band, Pompom is going to be there. That's his new project. I'm in a comedy tent. It's going to be a fun time. I'll be there on Saturday with my buddy Joe Pettis.

and Jeff Blake and many others. August 28th? Yes, sir. All right. Right on. Yeah. Do it, too. Well, hit it, Cho.

Thank you all for listening to the Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. And tune it next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you from Corey and Drew. Scoo, scooooo. With your choice of select sandwich, nugs, fries, and a drink, Wendy's $5 Biggie Bag is your go-to. Your Nugget, Wing,

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