wellRED podcast - #238 - 9/11, Juggalos, and Staten Island Trash w/ Peter Revello!

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

This week the boys recorded from their hotel in Raleigh on 9/11 (so yeah that came up) and also good buddy and hilarious comedian Peter Revello hangs out to talk about Juggalos and growing up in Staten Island! Sponsor: BlueChew.com Promo Code RED

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie. I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before,

but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah, so that was money.

What was that in response to? What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first, but then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out.

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They're the they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a fuck. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people. people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can sun. Are we here? Here we are. Yeah. Here in the hotel room in Riley, North Carolina. It's 9-11 somewhere.

Everywhere, in fact. Happy 9-11, everybody. And on that note, we've got Staten Island's finest over here in honor of 9-11. We invited. Mr. Canoli himself. Mr. Canoli friend of the show, Pete Revello, to come back. Hey, buddy. You going to get this?

Yeah, I was to say, we have to share a mic, and then they put the microphone. I'm happy to be here, boys, on 9-11. Thank you. Yeah, this is a big day for you all, right? Yeah. Yeah, you got to leave out your cookies and milk. You're Staten Island, you're Italian, like, it's a lot. Yeah, yeah.

It's been there, you know, 9-11. It's a fun time, you know? Come on down to New York City and enjoy. And you're like extended family. How many cops who have beat their wives? None. But it's just to have a small family. Yeah.

They're not cops. They're not cops. They're not allowed to be police officers, but they have the heart of police officers, you know. Swollen and gorged. Lined with fat and all that stuff. We're trim. We're trim people's. Yeah, but cops and NYC are fat.

They are big boys. It's, oh, yeah, it's disgusting. I don't know why. I don't know why. They don't run any. I guess it was a shoot, that's why. That's a weird thing. That's always been a weird thing to me that, like.

We saw two big fat fuck. cops here in Riley yesterday and I was just like dude look at that bald just bald pale not hitting their family hates them yeah they did suck though and I know nothing about them except for surface level but that's enough it's weird to me it's always been weird to me that like I know to in order to become a cop you do have to like go through I mean it ain't enough whatever the fuck it is but like you do have to like go through training and like be in some type of shape to become one, but then the second that you become one, they're like, okay,

now you can just be as fat as you want to be. Yeah, apparently. That seems to be what it is. Like, there's no, like, re-up. You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, every year you've got to lose 20. I had to take C-L-E classes when I was a public defender.

Like, I had to keep learning law. Cleveland. That's like Cleveland classes. Cleveland law. Right on. Continuing legal education. Oh, okay. But my point is like every professional,

every profession, that's the word I'm looking for. That's to re-up, and they just don't have to physically. I'm sure they have to keep taking weapons trainings or something. You know, you want to keep shooting the black guys. Yeah, they make sure not to stay rusty in that field.

But, like, that is crazy. Like, everything, it's like, yeah, we got to, like, go to a conference or blah, but they just get to be fat, and not for nothing, but, like, you will probably be a little bit more trigger-happy if you know you ain't going to have to run. Right. Well, yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, normally I just chase this fucking guy, but. I might have an architect. if I do. This is the only way for me to survive. Remember that lady at the show last night

who said... It was too soon? She said, she said, I was going to come... So we are filming this, we're recording this on 9-11 so last night was September 10th. We had shows.

And we are very aware this is poor shitty fucking quality, but we're in a hotel. I thought you were about to be like, we're very aware this is poor taste to be making fat cop jokes. On 9-11?

For me. Last night was September 10th, we had shows at Good Nights. This lady at one of the shows said, I was going to come tomorrow but I just couldn't handle seeing you guys on 9-11 or something like that. We were just like, we just laughed. Yeah.

Do you think that was like I personally can't be out and about or I know y'all? I couldn't tell what she meant by it, honestly. But then she said it was too soon. She said too soon and kind of laughed. So maybe she was just hitting. I don't know. Maybe. I just, I mean.

It didn't. It seems like a sincere sentiment, the first part I thought. I didn't want to see you all on 9-11. Right. But I don't know. I think this is like, I've been doing stand-up for a lot of years, but I do not remember actually ever doing stand-up on 9-11. I have no idea, dude.

I think that'd be something I'd remember because I would have definitely gone on stage and done something in poor taste. Pete, were you there at Carolines the night I lost it on that? It was a lady, but I thought it was a guy. Not a good start. Not a good start. No, I wasn't there, but I like it already. Misgendering at 9-11?

Yeah. All right. It was a bad read. I had a joke. There was a pause in it, and it was about being on mushrooms and not wanting the cops to come, even though somebody was bleeding out or whatever. And anyway, I get to this pause, and somebody said something, and I thought they said, that's a bad joke.

And it made me so fucking mad. What's really funny? Everybody heard it. He had been having a really, really, really good stuff. He was crushing. He was fucking murder. We were at Carolines, and he was doing so great. A lot of his friends, I guess you were not among them, but a lot of his New York buddies

were in the back. We were all standing in the back watching. He was like, man, Drew's killing it, whatever. And then all this happened. Like a top five or Ethan was there. I was on cloud fucking. That's why I got so mad. I thought everybody heard it.

I thought everybody heard it. We didn't even hear what the person said at all. But it was so loud to me, everyone heard. That's a bad joke. Right. before I'm about to get offstage. So I was like, fuck you. You didn't even let me fit.

No, you said, fuck you, sir. That's what you said. Fuck you, sir. Again, it was a lady. But we found out after the show. I got to tell you, you were crushing and we were really enjoying your set, but that was without question

the hardest you may ever have made me laugh. It's when you said, fuck you, sir. Because again, we couldn't hear anything. It seemed to us like, you're crushing, there's a pause, and you just stop and stare with just hatred in your eyes. Fuck you, sir.

And they just start going off. And we were like, what has happened? So the only time that might compete with me making you laugh was when I'm telling that story. Lexington. Sorry. Oh, my God. That's what made me think of this.

So we're in the meeting greet. And it's 9-11. In New York. Guy comes up to me or whatever, and it's the guy. And I'm like, man, I'm so, you know, and he's like, it wasn't even me. And I was like, oh, shit, okay, cool. Like, I don't have to deal with this.

And then pause. It was my wife. Here she comes in the bathroom. She also was cool. But she goes, it was a bad trip. She didn't even say it was a bad joke. And so... To defend you a little bit, fuck her still for talking during the show.

It doesn't really matter what she said. But, yeah, it is different. Right. It's hugely different. Then I'm in Kentucky. I'm on mushrooms. The Secretary of... state for the state of Kentucky is there.

I'm telling this story. He did not know that. As a bit on stage while on drugs. How did I get on 9-11? I don't remember, but dude. No, no, no, I know what it is. I know what it is. You flew your set directly into a building. He did. He said.

I remember what I said. I remember what I said. I was on drugs while relaying this story and I was talking about how funny the whole, like I'm telling the story. And I said, the only thing that could have made that situation funnier is if she would have said, well, my son, died on 9-11. Yeah. And then I, like, it's like, I heard myself say that, and I saw the reaction in the crowd,

and I was just like, I mean, it would have been a little funny, guys, if her son had died on, no, I'm hearing it, I'm hearing it, and Corey and me. Oh, was DJ there? DJ was there that weekend, but I, me and you were, because I was about to have to go on and that's what was killing me. Both of these times, I'm waiting to go up on stage in like 90 seconds, during both of these meltdowns, but during that one, I had also taken some of the most. mushrooms.

Yes. And he's crushing. And I've been back and I was like, oh, he's crushing to do whatever. And it's like, yeah, he ain't been raving at all, you know? As soon as you said that. And then next thing, you know, it's like if a son had died on 9-11, come on. Come on.

Come on, God. So it gets completely silent. Except Corey and DJ scream at the same time. I look back. DJ runs out of the club. And then Trey and Corey collide hugging each other, laughing, falling in the floor, which causes the whole crowd to turn. and then hate them.

Yeah, because we were the only ones laughing at the 9-11. Oh, God, dude. 9-11 has ruined my sets twice. Yeah. I don't think I've ever... 9-11's always been good to me, man. Yeah, I mean, amongst my favorite holidays, arguably top five. Yeah, I sincerely, I can't remember doing a show on 9-11 because I just, I know me.

I definitely didn't do a show on 9-11 when I was a younger comic because I would definitely remember some terrible thing that I did. Can you imagine if we had Twitter on 9-11? No. No, I cannot. There would be a lot of, yeah, I mean, for you guys, yeah, but in New York it would be like, you know, it would be, that people would be like live tweeting and people fall in from the building. You're like, if we already had, if we already had social media on 9-11, I think 9-11 would have already happened. You know what I'm saying?

What? I think that if the timelines had worked out to where, let's say, hypothetically, Twitter and Facebook had been invented in 1996, 9-11 would have happened a year later. But we still would have had Twitter in that scenario. Huh? You're saying if Twitter had been invented, so we would have had Twitter. I'm just telling you what I know.

I'm telling you... No comment on what I don't. I'm telling you that if 9-11 hadn't happened, it would have happened as soon as we invented Twitter and Facebook and shit like that. But since it did happen when there was no Twitter, when Twitter did get invented, it didn't cause 9-11 because 9-11 already happened?

Yeah, this is the 9-11 Twitter paradox. Okay. Yeah. Do you know about Pete, Pete, do you know about the guy who bowled a perfect game on 9-11? No. Why would I know about that? Well, it's like, yeah, I went viral at a certain point. But like years later, like somebody found this, they were in a bowling alley and they've got like plaque, little plaques with pictures and stuff for everybody that's ever bowled a perfect game in that bowling alley.

And it's in like, outside of Boston. It's outside of Boston. Like, on the time zone. Or something like that, like up there. And there's a picture of this guy. And 9-11 happened at 8.30. And all it says is it's like, whatever his name is, bold, perfect game.

September 11th, 2001. Wow. And he looks a lot like me. Yeah. And, uh, no way. Well, he's just a bald dips shit. Yeah. I don't believe it.

Well, you know, hey, a bowler. It looks like you. Well, you know, it's possible. Yeah. Anyways, we have been talking about adapting that little story into a short film for quite a while, and I would like to play this gentleman. It's a real mixed bag, you know? It's a real personal.

high and then everything else is not great well the way they i remember reading this like kind of breakdown of it somebody had found the guy or found the people that were there with him or something because he's long dead or whatever is he dead i can't seem surely he's dead bollas don't live long but they uh ball bowlers not known for their longevity in the game but he uh we all shared that article but the way it like it sounded like a real you know i'm not letting them win Triumph. Yeah. Like he was bowling for America.

You know what I mean? So let me. I got to do this. So let me tell you how the short film's going to go. So it's this dude walks in, right? It's probably maybe five minutes long. Dude walks in and he's in slow motion. And all you see is people just sitting at the bowling alley bar drinking, fucking crying.

He goes up. He powders his hands. He starts going bowling montage. Then all the sudden, right as soon as you know he gets to the last front. frame and this will be the most expensive part mind you but there goes my hero by foo fighters start playing and then as the last two pins fall it is laid over with the twin towers falling down you know what I'm saying and then he walks away like Tony Stark when he blew up that goddamn mountain thin wow I mean I'm I moved I think that that's what we need thank you yeah

Corey's got a vision wouldn't that rule we do cutaway interviews and Trey was there you know he's his witness but I wasn't there that day and I don't believe it. He's been lying all these years both of them have. About the bowling? Yeah. That would be interesting. Yeah, we've got that, you know, it's got a little tension built in naturally there. I'm excited to see it.

I can't wait to check it out. Oh, you know, you didn't, thank you, Pete. Something I forgot to mention at the top of the show is that you can go to well-readcom for our tickets. We said we're in Raleigh. We're doing shows and that's where you can get tickets at W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. to come see us on the road. And the shows this weekend,

been really, really fun. Yeah, we're going to be in Atlanta. By the time you hear this, we'll be in Atlanta on Thursday and Friday. Yeah. Yeah, oh, that's true. Yeah, September 15th and 16th and 16th and 17. I'm always so stupid with numbers.

You're number dumb, baby. I am very number dumb. You'd probably bowl the perfect game on 9-10. I know. That would have been my luck. So, Joe's been on one this weekend. Being a number dumb, you lost the count of your shots last night, I think. I definitely lost count of my shots last night.

That was a bit much. What's funny is, So we got some friends and Riley went to lunch with them yesterday. We went to lunch with them today too, but yesterday they were like, yeah, you guys got out of your second show. This is like, you know, 12, 30, 1 a.m. is what we're talking about. Well, hang out. We'll go to a bar, chill, whatever, all that shit. And me and him talked about it, like on the way back to the hotel.

And I was just like, dude, I love them, man. But, like, I know if I'm saying this, I know if I do that, I'm going to feel like fucking shit tomorrow. We've got two shows tomorrow night, probably turn right around to do it again. and I'll be fucking dead by Sunday. Like, I just, I love them, but I can't do that. And he was, he was also like, dude, you're 100% right. Oh, yeah. Like, you got it, we got to, we can't do that.

I was so relieved. We can't do that. And so they came in the green room before one of the shows, our friends. And I told them, I was like, listen, love y'all, but we're going to hang out tomorrow too. I'm just going to take it easy tonight. We're just going to take it easy. And I'm like, yeah, that's fine.

Whatever. Corey was very much on board with this. Fast forward 90 minutes later, if that. Not many shots almost. He's, yeah, he's no telling how many shots and vodka Red Bulls deep, fucking purposefully leaving his shoes at the club. I asked him, I said, so I asked him, I was like, I didn't ask him, I was like, hey, Cho.

Yeah, so I just left my shoes. You're leaving your shoes, and he was like, he was like, I know, hey, that's the move. And I was like, what that means? And I was just like, what? He was like, that's the move. And then he just walked off. Then we get to the parking lot and some fans walk up. up to us. They say, y'all want some trunk whiskey?

Because, you know, our fans hit. The ones I got trunk whiskey. He goes, hell yeah, I want some, and he just disappears into the night for a little while. Me and Peterson. Two things you're famous for loving, hanging out with fans after shows and trunk whiskey. And trunk whiskey. And here's the thing. I was browned out, because I was like, I remember so much about the night and then there's pockets that I don't.

Is that a real thing? What you just said burned up? Sure. Sure it is. Yeah. So, it's like, it's like where you come in and out of the blackout. Yeah, yeah. I was browning out. Like power. Yeah, yeah. And any guy, I remember that that trunk whiskey was the thing that I lost like at least an hour after that because, dude, first of all, I don't drink whiskey a lot. I do like whiskey, but I do not drink whiskey a lot.

And I damn sure don't just stay drinking straight whiskey. And I took the most, I mean, it was rude, frankly, how much I drank of their goddamn whiskey. Like, I fucking gluck, gluck, gluck. I'm sure. But you don't. You can't sip it. Dude, like, most of the time in that situation, sincerely, I fake it to people because I actually don't want to drink.

But, like, goug, good, good. And as soon as I did, I was like, buddy, that's not you. That's not smart. Like, you're about to be real fucking tore up. And I sure shit was. And then so he said he lost an hour after that. Much of that hour spent wandering around a convenience store, like grabbing various snacks and stuff.

And he kept giving my face. He was like, let me tell you something. I fucking hit. You know, he's like, you were just like, you got goddamn bit I'm doing. God damn. Just like... At 7-11? Just arms full of chips and fucking beard stuff.

He was like... He's already got multiple chip bags in his arms and we're standing in line and he looks over. He goes, oh shit. Rap Snacks. And he grabs a bag of raps snacks. Listen, we're not sponsored by rap snacks, but I would like to go on record as saying like that's genuine excitement because rap snacks are among my favorite. Rap snacks fucking hip.

They're so good. So he said that, we get back to the hotel. I'm driving, of course. We get back to the hotel. It's five minutes later. if that, get in the room and dump the bag out. And when I dump the bag out, he goes, oh, shit, rap snacks. And then he was like, it's fucking bullshit.

We ain't got refrigerators in these rooms. And I was like, it is bullshit. You're right. I was like, you know something about that? And he was like, what are you mean? And I was like, I mean, they might bring you a fridge, you know? And he's like, they'll just bring me a fridge. And I was like, yeah, I mean, you have to call him wherever.

He's like, shit. And he goes, hey, you don't worry about this. He picks up the phone and he's just like... Like I'm doing something nobody else on earth. Yeah. This is my special skill. And he's just like, he asked for a fridge. They told him they couldn't bring it till in the morning.

He was like, okay, well, you know, still bring it. And he gets off the phone. And then this morning... And so y'all came up in here. We had like five sandwiches. All these sandwiches were in bags. I'm so shocked to find out that that was a chain sandwich. Me too.

That blew my mind. We'll circle back to that in a minute. There's six bags of open chips laid on his bed. There's two trash cans filled with ice and beer and stuff sitting on his desk over there. And so with all that in mind, he texted me this morning and was like, dude, I woke up and there's just a fucking fridge in my room. He was like, I don't know how that happened. It's wild to me that they not. You didn't answer.

They came in and installed the fridge and everything. And like, just picture. I'm butt-ass. picturing that. I'm so butt neck in the book. Gives me so much joke. So much joy. Like just dead to the world.

So, and you know he's fucking... You're talking shit about him? Fucking languages. Yeah. All this just trashed ass rooms like, yeah. Just fucking calling him the fat gringo. Oh, dude.

Yeah. Dude, for sure, man. I love it. All right. But I have a fridge now. All right. You skipped one and I got two comments. You skipped.

Oh, he's done plenty of other shit. Well, the door was open because we're all coming in and out to do. to get the sandwiches going back and forth. He's just screaming wildly inappropriate insults at all of us at 1.30 in the morning with his door open. That's the part you skipped. I have two comments. One, did you feel like even though we were getting free booze,

it felt like Coco was upselling him a little bit? Or she just is in love with you. Like, she just kept wanting you to drink. But people love you. That don't mean they should feed you nine shots. No, I don't know. She may have believed me about my infliction that I have. I'm not saying.

No, no. She very didn't. I mean, not even a little bit. Because honestly, I only got as drunk as I did last night for purely medical reasons. Yes, he did. It's true. Yeah, he's got throat problems. I know, well, in my new act, I am doing more of a sing-songy number towards the middle.

And I have noticed, and also, I don't know if you know this, but the rest of what I do is screaming, which is not good for my throat. And if I don't take care of my throat, I will not be able to hit these notes in this song that I'm doing. So you drink whiskey for two hours after the show. Well, same throat. you know what I mean okay so all right

my second comment from my perspective yeah I want that sorry I just you know no hands right now my bad um

second comment Pete gets back from his show and he calls me and we're all going to bed but we're gonna get some food and I'm so relieved we're going to bed

and he calls me he's like what are you doing I'm like I'm walking back to the hotel what are you doing he goes we're going to hang out I'm like nah man I was like

almost like I felt bad like I dude you know we hang out tomorrow buddy like you know we can hang out in the room but like we all decided and he goes yeah no uh cori and dj just like got together and i'm not sure what happened they just started screaming and making noises and then ran to drink trunk whiskey and i'm in the middle of street literally i just go fucking god damn we did yeah well they're

they were very much like they wanted to go to a place they were like tell them they're like find somewhere it's got pancakes and vodka i said that yeah repeatedly repeatedly you're like i need pancakes and vodka That's as good as beer and waffles. And I tried. I tried for me to fight. Pancakes and vodka. I tried to, you know, cooperate with that, but briefly.

And I was like, dude, fuck this. And now I was like, we just go back to the room and order shit. And I was expecting you and DJ to be like, no, don't hit. You know, fucking pussy. I want pancakes and vodka. But y'all both just rolled with it. Yeah, we're good friends. Dude, you need to pancake vodka.

That could be your Margaritaville. I bet they've got. They definitely have one that's... Like birthday cake vodka for sure they've got. I'm not going to have a restaurant that is pancakes and vodka like Margaritaville. Yeah. Yeah. And my face is a pancake.

Uh-huh. It's like... Yes, yes, yes. It's like Shoney's big boy, but it's me. And your body is like a vodka bottle. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'm into that. Uh-huh. I was thinking about Margaritaville a lot yesterday. Yeah, sure. I mean, it was a Friday. Well, no. it's just I felt we're plugging so many things in this, but I was, I was, I drove up to Raleigh, uh, because I, during these wild times in which we live, even a long drive to me is

more preferable than dealing with the airports and being in control of my own. DJ once again is also in Raleigh, D.J. lives right down the street from four, in a very small town in Georgia, Chickamauga, and they both drove nine hour, eight hours to Raleigh, North Carolina on the same day from the same place. Both forgot we were going to be here. Individually. Well, DJ just assumed you were coming the next day because we didn't have to a show. Yeah, which that tracks. And honest to God, I just assumed DJ was with you somehow. I don't know why. Yeah, the checks. Yeah, it all checks, but it's so raving and hilarious. What the fuck was I said? Oh, yeah, yeah. I was driving up here. And, like, I've done the same shit for my birthday every year since I was nine because when I was eight, my dad took me to Hooters and that didn't hit for my mom. So she made me stay at home the next year. And then it became a tradition that I always stay at my mom's house for my birthday. And she makes me chicken casserole and cake. I still want to do that, but I figured out my new birthday tradition with all my friends.

They've got a fucking Margaritaville resort in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Bro, that's my shit. That will be fucking, I mean, I will hate everyone there. But here's the thing about a Jimmy Buffett concert. When you go to a Jimmy Buffett concert, yes, in the real world, we would all hate each other. But here in Margaritaville, it's five o'clock somewhere. You know what I'm saying? We're all just parrotheads.

It's fins to the left. It's fins to the right. That's my kind of place, man. I want to go there for like two days. I can take my nieces and stuff. There's probably water parking shit. Two straight days wearing fucking board shorts, drinking margaritas with just fucking fat accountants.

Yeah, but it's a real change of pace for you, man. It's so funny. It's a nice for you to get away from it all. Get to wear loud shorts and drink margaritas for once. Just cut loose, you know. It really hits me thinking of you cutting loose. That just described every moment. I've had this summer.

I've just been sitting on my porch in the loudest most of noxious shorts and drunk as fuck on margaritas. Oh, man, I really need to get my shit back together, son. I am fucking teetering. No, you're hitting. But so, Coco, I guess it's cool to say that, right? I'm saying the last name or nothing. Our server at the club, just put, I don't know, saying people. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, no, she, like, at the end of the night, I walked back there and Corey was like, He goes, hey, with my throat, you know. And she goes, and she's like laughing and smiling and stuff. She's like, have you tried water for that? She was like, you should maybe try some water for that. And he was like, well, I would, but it just don't. I really need the whiskey for my throat, you know, whatever. The shows are over.

We're done. And she was like, she told them that they had locked up all the liquor. and she didn't have a key for it. And he was just like, oh, well, all right. I guess I'll go drink some trunk whiskey. For the record, I knew that was bullshit

because that's the oldest trigger in the book, but I'm not going to fight you. Once you say that, I, even no matter what she's saying. No matter what state, yeah, especially because she's a waitress

at a comedy club that I love, I know to be like, okay, it's pump. I get it. I mean, don't you're wrong, I'm fend to go elsewhere

and seek my entertainment, but I get it. It's like when the, of course, it's like when the shake machine's broken. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm gonna go across street. At the, like, the draft there late at night or whatever.

Like, it ain't broken. No, of course it's not broken. They just don't want to fuck with it. They've cleaned it already and they don't want, and I don't blame them at all. But like when I'm 23 and high as hell and that, they say that, you know. Speaking of that. Bullshit, right. We went to them sandwiches.

We'll plug Penn Station sandwiches as a flag tank. Before we talk about how good they were just being at a place late at night, packed. So many orders coming in. There were people there claiming they'd been. there for an hour walking up and I don't know I think they were like delivery drivers they kept showing their phone like that was going to matter they'd be like oh I've been here you know anyway this guy had been complaining about being there for an hour he got his food but then lodged another complaint which look man I can be I can be a complainer we've all got that in us from time

to time but like he got his food and then just had to drop another one and this like 20 year old wage worker just like just had a fucking nut she goes uh well I don't know what I don't know what you want me to do. You got your food. You want me to kiss your fucking feet. And he was like, you can't talk to me with him. She goes, yes, I fucking can and you can leave. He starts to walk out. She goes, no, let the door hit you in your ass. And I was like,

fucking right, dog. People were getting hype, dude. So how's it? He's like, so soon, she goes, he's being nice, point to some guy. He goes, he's been here longer than you. He's being cool. You know what? He's getting a discount. It was great. It was great. If I had cash out of tipped her, I told her that. I kind of. If you'd be in Vegas right now. It's true, bud. I'm not going to lie.

I don't mean to sexualize all the women who are mean to men, but sometimes it really hits for me. Well, this isn't, hell yeah, dude. This ain't, because I didn't hear all of the exact words, but I kind of got one of those two on my airplane. I love those. It was one of the flight attendants. I'm nervous on airplanes now. We had, uh, I know I'm fin to be in a World Star video. This didn't hit.

We landed in Raleigh and sat at our gate for like 25 minutes because they couldn't get the jetway to work. And it was like two feet away from the door. You know, you could see. get out the window, but they couldn't move at the last two feet. I'm in my 30s. I'll jump. Yeah, right. Yeah. What if you miss? I want to die anyway. Right. So we sat there for like 25 minutes. You tell people are getting pissed off.

And this one little dirt bag with a skateboard walks up to the front. Can I ramp it? Like from the back, he like walks up to the front with a skateboard. Right of skateboard with him. Yeah. Well, his bag, like, I think, I don't know if he thought like, fuck this. I'm getting off. I don't know. But he had his skateboard in his, but he had all his shit, including a skateboard. and he looks all skateboardery, you know, and he walks up there and he's like, and they, you know, stop him,

like, sorry, you need to be, whatever. And he was just like, oh, I just need to pee. And they were like, well, the bathroom's not operational right now or something like that. And he was just like, he's just, I'm like, well, that's fucking bullshit or whatever. And then that fucking flight attendant

just let loose on his ass. She was just like, you do not need to use that language or whatever. And he was just like, well, sorry, use the bad word, Jesus, whatever. and she's like, she's like, no, it's when you come up here disrespecting me when I'm trying to, you know, keep you safe or whatever like that whole thing, but just really going in and everybody. Not like they used to.

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Yeah, you know I did that, right? And then, well, what, on a thing already? I made a whole song, and it ended up getting taken down because of copyright shit. Oh, hilarious. All right, my bad. That ain't my dick, twine her thighs. Oh, okay. This ain't nice surprise.

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Lord that's my that's my girl my uh no that's something in my truck but that ain't my dead I don't know it fucking ruled

it was really good sounds like it did I'm sorry that I missed it yeah here on our own show I heard it yeah

but I thought of that and then I realized what I was thinking about this like that's kind of what that song already was yeah you know what I mean yeah like the truck was all

the truck's always the day it really hits for me that you did know that we did that and I was able to just do this here. Yeah. Well, good. Glad I made that happen. Did I tell the story of the flight attendant being wrong on this podcast?

Oh, even better. I don't know. I'll tell it if you can tell me to stop if I get in the middle of it. And that's what happens. So I was coming back from New York. Last time I saw a Peter. Yeah. And we three hours before we took off, four hour flight, then we land.

And now we're stuck when we get there. It's been a long day. a long flight. This one woman, at one point, right when we took off, she told me to move my mask up. Now, I was like, because I didn't pull it down, but I thought, well, maybe it felt, and it was like, it was on my nose. It just was low. And I was like, all right, it's over my nose. And she, like, do we have a problem? I was like, no, no, ma'am. I do, you know, two minutes later, I'm like, maybe that was me, you know what I mean? I'm kind of a dick. Like, what did I do wrong? Probably it was me. I'll let it go. But I'm saying, I'm kind of seething, right? Two minutes later, she tells,

tells the guy that she will have the gate agents waiting on him. This is before we ever take off. And I'm like, I don't know. I think she kind of sucks, maybe. We get there, it's been a long, fucking flight, and we've been on the ground now for a little over an hour, and this woman stands up to ask, can I go pee? And she's like, can I go pee?

She's like, you need to sit down. Well, then, you know, it's like we got a group think situation going on. This guy's like, she's just asking if she can pee. You don't have to be a jerk. What is your problem? She comes back there, threatens him with being a, arrested with gay. She's like, arrested for what? Telling you not to be a jerk? She's like, pull your mask up.

He's like, it's over my note. All right, I'll pull it up. Fine. I'll pull it up. But you need to be a jerk. We're all in this together. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Another flight attendant comes back. She's got her friends back, which I respect. The girl was in the wrong, but you got your friends back. She's like, sir, I heard you call her a jerk. You can't act like that. And he goes, well, I'm sorry to say that word. She goes, you can't use language like that. Even if you have a legit thing, she's not a jerk. And it got quiet for two seconds. And this very tiny voice from a woman comes from behind me and goes, she's a cunt. That's what, she is.

And I'm like, oh, no, it's about it. And then literally everyone goes, yeah, yeah, she is. Okay. Dude. Did people laugh? I feel like I couldn't have not like, or was it so like. Laugh? Yeah.

Oh, I was dying, buddy. I'm fucking horse laughing. And everyone else is like, fuck yeah, she sucks. She's standing around there like this, like all. And then that gives dude the fuel he needs to keep going. And I just, you know, personally on a personal level, I was like, man, I knew she was a bitch. I knew it wasn't me. That's so great.

I'd never seen a flight attendant get dressed. down and I'd never seen one frankly deserve it. It's always been a shitty customer. Of course. And I'm sure this lady had a shitty And I'm sure that, yeah, the reason that happened is because of 900 shitty customers she had. But she threatened.

She threatened to have three different customers arrested. Like that, fuck you. That's a bit much. Yeah. So, I'm a man to tell you all. I think this will hit for y'all. I was, so first of all, let me say, I'm fine

with the juggalo's, right? Oh, yeah. I've recently. I'm glad you said that. Yeah, yeah. I recently have they hit from me. Yeah, yeah. Well, look, I'm so white trash

that I have a kinship with any white trash culture like that. I could see you mistrusting it too a little bit. Fubbed and drinking dip shit. Yeah, yeah. So, and on that note. This is bullshit cosplay. I also, never been a fan, never fucked with them. But hell, I see P's finally.

Yeah, I know the magnets. I see P's fine with me. The Magnets. C.P, of course, is the, yeah, yeah. Magnus sounds sucks. Oh, wait, what was my fucking jokes? You said DJ, somebody tells a story once about Friends. there's a guy hurt real bad and he was like and they had to take him to the ICU and

Corey goes ah the insane clown unit and it fucking killed me I could think about that all that's because a lot of ICU talk lately and every time I hear it I'm like insane clown unit which is funny given the context of the stories it's like brutally bleak yeah it's like there's no ICU buzz I'm like insane clown unit yeah a lot of juggalo's in them too I bet but anyway got turned away from 15 insane clown units in one day Nothing said all of that. Shaggy too dope was on Tom Seguroo's podcast recently. Oh my God, I'm so excited.

And he's on there in the makeup, the clown makeup. He's wearing the clown makeup. He's being Shaggy Too Dope. Of course. And they're showing him... There's not a real man in there, not in years. They're showing him clips of juggalo's being real juggalo. And he's reacting to him.

And he's reacting to him. them no but that it was a hitting segment i was digging it but they showed this one guy who had a he had started and not finished a like juggalo face paint tattoo a face tattoo of the clown makeup holy shit and what's in the video the guy's like y'all listen this is ruin my life like this i don't know why i got this clown makeup tattooed on my face you know what he's just like i'm saying and it's like, of course, they're dying laughing at him or whatever. What's Shaggy Two Dobs say? But he kind of sounds like that, the dude, right?

He sort of sounds like us a little bit. I was wondering if that was a choice. No, no, no, no. He sort of sounds like us. Can't believe it. He's got our accent. And so what Shaggy Too Dope said was he went on this whole thing? He was like, well, look, this guy's a fucking hillbilly in the fair.

He was like, he's like, that fucking accent tells you everything you need to know, man. And again, he's wearing clown makeup. And he's sitting there. And he's like, well, he's like, He's like, he's like, he's like, you ever meet? He's like, you ever meet somebody with that stupid fucking accent? They try to sound all smart and shit. And you're just like, you ain't full of nobody hillbilly, you fucking dumbass.

Calling us. Just shaggy too dope. Just shitting all over us indirectly, but very directly at the same time while wearing the fucking juggalo makeup. If I was high, I would not have been able to handle that. And dude, it was fucking killing me. I was like, man, this is this is a bit much right here. He's got to be 52, which makes me extra funny. Yeah, easily.

He's got to be in his 50s. Yeah. Yeah, and he had been on there. He was recently injured because he, like, tried to go down a water slide wearing clogs or something and broke his arm in, like, three places. Shaggy Toot? Yeah, Shaggy Toad. That's the man that besmirches hillbillies everywhere. In clown makeup, dude, she's talking about how fucking dumb are.

It's like, you can't be smart and talk like that. What the fuck? I got to. I got to find out where Shaggy Too Doep is from. He's from Detroit. Oh, right there all. Yeah. Well, I'll still want to tell this.

Jelly Roll, you know, insulted him on the pod, sorry page. And since then got back into him pretty heavy and have gone down a bunch of rabbit holes. There is a phenomenal video that was uploaded to World Star the first time it was. It was uploaded by Jelly Roll, as best I could tell. Two people were fucking at the gathering in front of everyone up against the fence. Jelly Row, I guess, was in between stages. Because, you know, it's like a big music festival. Comes by, sees it, has his people turn their camera on.

and it's so, or maybe the camera's already there and he just starts talking to it, it's so great because he's genuinely both horrified and excited that it's happening, and it's so, frankly, adorable. You got this fat hillbilly himself who's just never seen, you can just tell, he can't believe his life is this,

and he's like, The Gathering, Jelly Roll, coming at you. All, he did that. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Damn, he's fucking the shit out of her, boys. I gotta go. How big were they?

No, man. You look good? I mean, not great, but like, you know. You can do a lot with makeup. And they both had it on. Yeah. That's fucking great. Yeah, and yeah, keep jelly roll's name out your mouth as far as Page is concerned.

Yeah, my sister, me eating jelly rolls anymore. You besmirch the good name of jelly roll. Yeah, I got him confused with a very shitty MAGA rapper. That's what happened. And jelly roll is pretty legit. I don't know who jelly roll. Who's jelly roll. Jelly roll.

Jelly Roll. I don't know. Who is it? He's probably pretty popular with the people you don't talk to from Staten Island anymore. Are they,

it's like a southern thing? No, so I want to ask Pete about the juggalo's too. But also, Jelly Roll is a, he's a southern white rapper that's like pretty well known

amongst that thing or whatever. And there was, during all the like, before the election, there was some big mega type rally or something and there was a dude at it rapping about, white hillbilly looking rapper guy

rapping about Trump and everything. And on the podcast, Drew was like, it's like, dude, I think that's fucking jelly roll or whatever. And my little sister, who is as trash as it gets, was texting me when that came out. And she's like, I don't know what the fuck Drew thinks he's talking about. But jelly roll ain't like that. You're like, jelly roll's one of us, God damn it. Yeah.

It's a good man. Yeah, she was so upset. But anyway, juggalo's. Where are you at on juggalo's? They got any kind of presence in Staten Island? I know y'all be trash, but not like that. That's a different thing. Well, what's funny is I don't think that's really, I don't believe you in the sense

I don't think they have a... Hold on, hold on, hold on. I don't think there's... I want... Listen to me. I don't think there's like a lot of jugaloes anywhere other than maybe Detroit, but there are some jugaloes in Staten Island.

No. They're one of the most successful white trash groups of all times. This is like how my Papal says. I saw y'all's teeth. No. This is like how our Papal say there's no gay people in Chickamauga. Just so you know what I think. It's a different type of trash.

There's no jug... I've never met a jugolo in Staten Island. I mean, there's just... You don't meet Jugalo. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. I don't think it's generally a... A southern type of trash either. It's like a...

It seems Midwest. Midwestern. No, it's Detroit. Yeah. I mean, they do exist. I also, I don't know any juggalo. Right, right, right. I saw some once.

I think it's just... Yes, that's just like with gay people. They're like, I don't know any gay people. It's like, you do. You know them. They just haven't said that to you. Okay, but what I'm saying is, would you say juggalo's are prevalent, like, where we come from? No, and the thing about jugglers, too, is like, they're not secretive about

that. Right. It doesn't seem to be. The Chuggler of Ford. That's why they wear the makeup and shit. That episode of Workaholics, that was a part of it, was that some of them were like accountants. I thought, but that was just played for laughs, though, or whatever.

I mean, it was played for laughs, but I think that's real, man. You think there ain't people who see a video, I'm sure there are. Dude, but they also, I'm going to go to that. But they also tattoo it on their faces and stuff. Well, there's, no, no, no, I feel like I just, I could be wrong. Juggalo's reach out, let us know. I think they're more juggalo forward than secretive about it.

I don't think they're closeted juggalo. They're loud and proud. The ones that I said, me and you were together at the Thirsty Turtle ones, and there were juggalo's there, and we knew because they had clown makeup on. Because they came from a show. We're wearing fucking juggalo shirts. That's because they came from a show.

Where would Pete see people in the clown makeup of a show? Listen, if you're saying there's no people in juggalo makeup in Staten Island, I will believe that. But when they come to New York... I'm not talking about Staten Island. But what I'm saying is when they come... He's trying to, he's trying to, He's really harping on the fact he thinks that I, maybe one.

Statistically speaking, at least a couple of juggalo's exist in Staten Island, but I very much accept that it's not a big thing. When they come to New York and play a huge fucking theater, and they do. Where are they playing in New York? Matt Lugeski went and tried to get me to go. I think it was the weekend. It holds 6,000 fucking people, and you're telling me, none of them came from Staten Island.

I would say very. You think it was the Bronx in there? I was having a block party? Westchester. I don't know what it is. Not Southern Island. I don't know what the fuck's going on up there. You know what I mean? You can, you know, people coming down from Buffalo or whatever.

I don't know what this is a different thing Buffalo slings a little juggalo It's a different thing Yeah they tour in Buffalo They do it's connectedy They have a great time Saratoga they do they do great up there With the horses are free

But I know No No no no joy And listen I actually I thought I had like preconceived notions About jugolos and stuff like that Everybody does But it's all right

I mean some of it's all right I mean it's not like you think it's more racist And like it's not It's more like these people are just They're lunatic Oh they're definitely They're just like lost. Racist is not at all apart.

Juggalo's throw full beer can at Method Man in Staten Island. That's the first headline. Wow. When was this? 2010. Lots changed. Lots changed. I don't know.

It's a full beer can. I don't know if that's true. It was empty. I believe it. You're right? You're right. I don't know. Two things just came out of everybody's mouth.

Juggalo's aren't racist and they're not in Staten Island. Juggalo's. in Staten Island throw beer at Method Man. That's so goddamn funny, man. Maybe not for black. Yeah, that's true. Maybe he was off that night. Yeah. It wasn't his blackness that enraged the Juggalo man.

We wanted you to be blacker because we love him so much. I will say the Juggalo's are the ICP themselves, like, genuinely preach, love acceptance, and so racist. Bair in their yard and all that shit. The commercials are really great. For Juggalo, what is it gathering of juggalo? Yeah. See, that's, they have everything.

It sounds fun. They have like, what's like monster truck race or like it's just like everything you could imagine yeah it does seem like good yeah for like a day right right you just check it out and then you're like that's how bad i wouldn't go with a jesky to the concert i'm not going to the beacon to see this like i want to go to the gathering one day and i will i'm not going to do this you know in new york city whatever whatever ironically like you want me to no i well i wouldn't i go ironically i wouldn't be like isn't this stupid like all right this is like okay i'd like to do a bit about this yeah yeah you know it stinks.

Got a stank, that's true, but it's a different kind of stank. This is like mildewed clothes, mothballs, yeah,

sour milk. And it's appropriate to stank culture Yeah. There was, there's like an internet, like a YouTube

documentary of, there's a few different documentaries of jugglers, but there's one that's popular on YouTube. It's like 15 and 20 minutes long and it's just like

somebody walk around the gathering and talking to them and shit. I mean, it's old now. I fucking saw this probably

in college. The only, line I remember from it is they asked this little skinny ass super white trash juggalo dude they asked him for his best pickup line the documentary did and he goes

oh uh hey bitch show me your fucking shit hole man yeah yeah laugh ha ha ha ha

show me your fucking shit hey bitch show me your fucking shit hey bitch show me your fucking shithole man and that's it verbatim I don't remember none of the other lines but that line that is verbatim

exactly what he said exactly what he said do you guys know about the march of the jugulares no is that the sequel to the march of the penguins yeah say it again say it again

hey bitch show me your fucking shithole man the man really sets it off oh bitch I can't wait to say that to Ambers I'm going to walk in hey babe, how was your trip?

Hey, bitch, show me your fucking shit. Oh, man. The march of the jugglers, they got classified by the FBI briefly as a gang. And so they organized a march on Washington, D.C. to protest that, which is hilarious and beautiful. Oh, I do remember that happening. But, like, think about living in D.C. All that happens if you live there. That's so stupid, though.

Yeah, that they did that? Yeah. But think about living in D.C. And, like, every week is somebody coming mad. Right. And then the juggaloes. Would that be better or worse? Would it be, would it be like a change of pace?

Yeah, it's a day off. Oh, great, the carnivals here. For sure. It's definitely a change of pace. Hey, what kind of, so what kind of trash? What are they into? Like, what's the, what's the Staten Island, like, sort of, there is no equivalent to juggalo? But you know what I mean?

Like, what's the, what is that but for there? There's, like, a couple different. There's, like, Italian trash, and that's like, they have, like, Godfather posters, and they make, like, quotes and stuff. They're just like, you know, they're like, like, yeah, like a lot, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, uh, praying hands with rosaries. They love that, a lot of that. Some nine, some, some, some, some nine 11 tattoos, some towers, uh, smoking, you know,

so that's always a fun one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the towers is, yeah, they're, they're smoking, uh, marlborough lights. And, uh, then there's other trash. There's, like, South Beach, like, that's, like, more traditional sort of, like, just poor, like, you know, ignorant people. But then it's mostly Italian. It's mostly, like, Italian. idiots who are just

Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's what that's what they do. I mean, they're just, they're just, uh, they fuck. I don't know what happened too.

Like Trump, I don't know. It was like this. The Italian idiots like Trump. They, oh, he's just like one of us. He's like, yeah. Seems like.

But it's just, I don't know. He's just like, yeah, that's our guy. You know, he talks like us. He says, you know, and it's like he's a billionaire.

He has nothing to do. Like, whatever. But, uh, doesn't talk like you all. But dude, at least with, He says terrible things, but it's funny. I mean, he's like a New Yorker or whatever.

Because like our fucking idiots said the exact same shit. And it's like he literally could not be more, not y'all, you know? I know. Italians have nice suits. That's, that you might hang out with you. That's true. He wouldn't be caught dead with our picture. No.

Not even a little bit. No. But do you... My favorite weddings working at a catering. I worked at a catering spot in Manhattan. We did weddings sometimes and my favorite ones were Italian weddings. They're fun. Well, I like that soup.

But it was like, it was like new money Italians a lot of times because this was kind of a tacky place. Yeah, that's, so it was like rich and trashy and Italian. And it was so, I found drugs every time I'd find drugs in the back. Drug to get paid in cash. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful. It's a beautiful. Could you just walk us through the day in the life of a trashy, dumb, fucking Italian idiot from Staten Island? You go to, you have a union job.

And that's not a bad thing. No, that's great. That's a good thing. you know but then you come home you go to the pizzeria you know you have uh you get a meatball parm and you start saying so far fucking sounds good

right it does yeah we all love meatball palm but it's uh it's and then it and then it's sort it's they just I don't know how to describe they're just animals like they just they don't have like they just they just they think they know everything and they're like you know what's going I this is what you got to do

with the world the end it's like you're a moron you don't know anything you just and they just they drive like they have like these huge escalades and like big trucks and they just

they drive them drunk yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean you know come on that's that's you know who hasn't done that huh it's cool

feels good to drink and drive right yeah am I wrong folks I mean what's going on here am I right I mean that's it you put up the music

you know like us it's fun to hear you talk the trash because you clearly are one hell yeah baby yeah I know well it's different I'm like I like I like some parts of it but the other parts I got yeah it's like the same thing like people look down on like blue collar that's the thing about Stad Island too like during the pandemic people were like oh it was a hot spot everyone's like oh they're fucking idiots they don't know what they're like no they have fucking they're like nurses and cops they can't stop going to work and they're like well you know it's like so I get defensive it's really weird it's like a

hold but you can call them animals yeah exactly but the other people Pete Davidson does it. We talked about this the last time Pete was on here, actually. I mean, not we can talk about it again, but yeah. Because my friends moved him. They, yeah, they, they, they, they, he was like, I have like 12 boxes. How much is that going to cost? They're like, I don't know, like a thousand.

Yeah. And they got it. Yeah, it's like a gram. It's like $50 a box and whatever, you know what I mean? You got to take care of that. And he's like, all right. And then they, great. Yeah.

So, yeah, Pete, Dave. I think he's, yeah, he's still on Staten Island. But he can talk shit. I mean, his dad died 9-11. Yeah, that's what I kind of thought. But he goes super far. He's like, it's a fucking awful place. I hate it.

He still lives there. He lives there. Yeah. So it's, it's... I think that right there is, that's why he can. Yeah. I still, like, I've talked about this a lot on the podcast. There's part of me that, like, still very...

I love still living in my hometown because I think that with my people, they still hate so many things that I do and say. Yeah. But there is a little. bit with them. It's like, but I mean, God damn, he still lives here and pays his fucking taxes. You know what I mean? So like, God damn, what are you going to do?

One of those things. Yeah, that's true. I pay my taxes. I wouldn't call what I do living. You know what I'm saying? I bet it was the other way around with that hit too. No, I knew it was. That's why I was subverting expectations. Whoa. That's my new podcast on NPR. It's going to be coming out subverting expectations with Corey Ryan

Forster. But I understand the chick of muggis turning into, it's getting gentrified. Man, it's fucking wild. dude. Yeah, we, like, I mean... Can you gentrify a white-ass place? If it's like a redneck place, can that be gentrified? Yeah.

So, 100%, but like, think about Corey's house. I don't think Corey's neighborhood can be gentrified. But his neighborhood is right by DJ's neighborhood, right? I know. I mean, they're like, you could throw a rock. Right. So, I mean, that's how gentrification work, right? I was about to say, also, if you think, if you're not, you've not been down there a lot,

but if you really go down to where my parents live, A, their house literally is its own block. Yep. but the house is in front of it I'm not I'm not saying they're not nice that but like they definitely have... Leading up to it but then past it's like the nice part of the downtown area yeah but I'm saying residentially wise my parents' house is the fucking like

the nicest place. I know we've like what I'm saying is you cannot I think by definition gentrify a place where there's like nice shit here's the thing. Also because the businesses are coming back because here's the thing like I know we've talked about this before about the insane difference between you I've met you

found out where you're from and knew the like statistics of Chickamauga and it's like oh yeah it's like salina right but then going there when i first went there years ago i remember being like hell this place is nice yeah you know what i mean i was like this ain't what is this right because i thought that all small and it makes sense because it's right outside chattanooga there's like money and proximity salina ain't close to nothing right so i ain't close to nothing yeah there's that there's like so i would it's different i would say there's one family that I know in Chickamauga that I would definitely go well that's old money though I mean there definitely is some other people. What chicken boy that's the family he's not from Chickamauga though

but but coincidentally the girl he married is that family like that's not that's not much of coincidence actually right yeah yeah they'd be like that in your first date it was on a yacht right yeah yeah exactly but yeah I didn't know small southern towns that were like nice or still existed really yeah yeah yeah maga is one of them Now it's just like, oh, it's getting nicer. Yeah, I just never really even, like, because like, the downtown area looks cool, but there's, up until very recently, it wasn't, there wasn't anything there to do, though. It's like, oh, yeah, you can fucking walk around and look at where all the businesses

used to be. The buildings are still very pretty, but I would. You could do heroin. You definitely could do heroin. It's, dude, we, oh, my God, heroin's so big right now. Y'all got heroin and pills? Did that hit Staten Island? That's it.

Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, everybody's, yeah, on pills and heroin, yeah. Did you ever get meth? No, meth is It's not... It's for the juggalo's. Mostly us in the Midwest. All right.

I was just curious. Yeah, no meth. I mean, in the clubs. People do it in like the clubs. Like it's actually... Well, that and also in like the club scene and like even like in the gay community. Yeah.

I remember it hit for me when I found out that like when I found out that like people like Fergie and like Anderson Cooper, sure he's gay, he's done meth because of what we're saying. Like when I found out that, In some clubs, it was like a designer drug type thing. I was like, hell yeah. We're not just stupid. Anderson Cooper does not do fucking meth just because he's gay.

From you 30 seconds ago. If you make meth not in a bathtub with batteries. Yeah. And like, like, it still can ravish your body. Don't get me wrong. But it's genuinely not as bad. I mean, dude, it's just kind of Adderall. Yeah.

Meth. Right. Yeah. It's just like. made better. They don't make adderol in bathtubs or mountain dew bottles or whatever. Well, and the battery acid, you do need it. The battery acid really was a big problem.

Yeah, you're not supposed to have that. They put battery acid in it, but you got to make it. I don't remember the details my brother once told me like this. And then what you got to do right after that, son, you got to take it. And you need an acid. You know how Coke is made? Gasoline's involved at some point. That's why I hit so hard.

I saw a fuck it. But I'm saying like, I don't know. I did not. I thought, I thought, there's coca leaves or whatever, you know. Mm-hmm. And so I knew that they somehow turned that into a dust, a powder, you know, but I was like, I didn't realize it was all that it is. Like, it's a very, again, literally gasoline's part of it at one point.

It's a whole process. Like, it don't, you know. When we were. It don't seem all that safe, guys. I think it was like my sophomore year, my sophomore year of, yeah. My sophomore year of high school, we were, it was one of them things. where meth had been just tearing up the town and everybody was fucking doing it. So they had a like cop come talk to the football team.

Yeah, we had all that too. Well, it's like during practice too. Like we're all having to sit down in our pads and this cop's going through this thing. And he's like, he's explaining how to make it. How to make it and stuff like that. They used to do that. I know all the time. It's so funny to think about.

Here's what you do. Like, why don't they do? Because they're fucking dumb. But yeah, that was like part of dare. What was hilarious. It was like, I got 20 minutes to food. how to make meth. Yeah.

And bring drugs. Well, our tariffs are just bring weed. The funniest part about it was he was going through how to make meth and he lists off all the ingredients and then he's going to move on. And my fucking buddy Bubba goes, you forgot red phosphorus. And he goes, yes, and red phosphorus. Like, he immediately knew the deal.

And, yeah, I thought always. We didn't have that with meth because, and this was true, I think it's probably true for y'all. So meth was, generation above mine. I was like four or five. I mean, my brother was on it. So, like, five years. That was a tail end. it's its own anti-drug.

Meth goes away on its own in a small community for about five to ten years. Part of the reason pills was so bad as you could be a functional pill head for a long time. But we didn't have the meth thing. He just came by and talked to us about pills, and we already knew they were great.

During one of those, I don't think I've ever told you this, and this will hit for you, during one of those talks when cops came by. I broke his leg. I asked a question, I was like, So I was like, so is it true that if a cop ask you, if they can search your vehicle, you can say no? And the cop was like, and the cop was like, well, yeah, if we don't have probable calls or whatever, we don't just have a right to search your vehicle or whatever. And dude, all these fucking redneck dudes were, what? Hold on. What?

And so I got a follow up So I ain't got to just let y'all do that shit You know This cops up there Just like listen we don't want to And dude the fucking Constitutional rights The Prince of life

I swear to God The Prince's way to come in there And shut it all down Because it caused such an uproar Or whatever They were just like Yeah Hype about the fucking

News to me God that's fucking funny I gotta take a shit Yeah yeah we got to funny we got to go do shows in Raleigh. And go well red comedy.com. W.E.L.R.D.comedy.com and get tickets. We'll be in Atlanta by the time you hear this podcast probably.

We'll be in Minneapolis to 25th of September. And then something, Washington, D.C. is coming up. And then, hey, by the way, a little birdie told me, and by Bertie, I mean, my manager, who tells me stuff, said that a lot of, a couple of the shows in December at Zanis are almost already sold out, which is insane and awesome.

So it does hit. But my point is, Get them now. If you're thinking, I'm just going to wait till a fucking day of to get Zanis tickets, that shit is not happening at all. And that's awesome. I want to point out, unless you came to my show

when I headlined at Zanis in June, thank you very much for doing that. You probably haven't seen any of us do stand up longer than about 10 minutes because we've been doing those theme shows at Zanis. We're not doing it this year. Come to Zanis and hear the full on well red show. Hear the new act for the new normal in the new world. And then, of course, remember to check out.

my new podcast on NPR. What was it called? Lowered Expectations. Subverting expectations with me and Ira Glass's dog. That's where Drew went with it. Lowered X. That was the mad TV sketches. Lowered expectations.

Yeah, all right, well, peace. I thought you invented a character called Ira Glasses. They're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread, but sex they care way too much, but don't give a fuck. They're the neighbor rednecks that makes some people upset But they got three big old dicks that you can suck