wellRED podcast - #243 - Corey is In DC, Drews being evicted, and Trae Rewatches Survivor w/ his kids

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

WellREDcomedy.com for ticketsUpcoming datesoct 21-24: Washington DCNov 6: Seattle WANov 7: Spokane WANov 12-13 - Lexington, KYNov 19-21 Charlotte, NCDec 3 New OrleansDecember 11-12 Naples FloridaDecem...ber 16 -19 Nashville TNTrycaliper.com/wellred Promo code wellredLucy.co promo code redhelixsleep.com/wellred

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because you used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.
Starting point is 00:00:19 It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now, skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people, people across the skewniverse, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year? Do you even know?
Starting point is 00:00:42 Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery, getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. Do you know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and it's called Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app
Starting point is 00:01:02 that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you already forgot about. If you see a subscription, you don't want anymore, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your whole financial picture,
Starting point is 00:01:21 including the due dates for all your bills and the pay days. In a way that's easier for you to digest, you can even automatically create, custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscription with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps. Premium features. I used Rocket Money and realized that I had apparently been paying for two different
Starting point is 00:01:49 language learning services that I just wasn't using. So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish. and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one, I'd said it before, but I got an app,
Starting point is 00:02:08 lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball-looking twin fellas. Yeah. So that was money.
Starting point is 00:02:28 What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them.
Starting point is 00:02:45 They help. If you're money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. dot com slash well read today that's rocket money.com slash well r e d rocketmoney.com slash well read and we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. They're the they're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a thug.
Starting point is 00:03:20 They're the They're the liberal rednecks That makes some people upset They got three big old dicks That you can suck All right Hey, here we are Drew, you're a regular at home
Starting point is 00:03:37 With your guitars I'm not, I'm in D.C. already Which, by the way, is where we're going to be This weekend as you're hearing this At the D.C. Improv. Go to well-read comedy.com.
Starting point is 00:03:50 I know I've got a little thing here. Where is it? Yeah, here we go. boom, well-read comedy.com for tickets to shows. It's right there at the bottom if you're catching us on YouTube. We're going to be in D.C. this weekend. Then I believe next weekend or a weekend after that, Seattle. And then we're on to Lexington.
Starting point is 00:04:06 And we got Charlotte. And we're going to round out the year with our Nashville shows at Zanies in Nashville. And I can only tell you that there will be something special about the shows. I can't tell you what it is yet, but it will be super cool. and a lot of the shows are close to selling out. Jesus is going to be there. Yes, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,
Starting point is 00:04:26 will be making a rare appearance. But go ahead and get your tickets right now at well-read comedy.com. Because like I said, they're getting close to selling out as it is. And hey, also, let me see if this works. I'm trying to be more technologically sound. That my mic was muted during that.
Starting point is 00:04:57 That made me really mad. Your mic was muted because you added sound to what you did, but the video was rare, rad. Okay. Well, I was trying to. to let everybody know that you've got a podcast called Into the Abisket with DJ DJ Lewis. And Trey also has weekly skews with SmartMark Aegee. And I've got kind of a different thing going on, but I wanted to plug it.
Starting point is 00:05:16 It's my substack. You can go to Corey Ryanforster.substack.com. I'm doing a little, it's like a newsletter slash blog thing. You can subscribe for free. There's also a paid version where you get audio versions of the stories. And I have a new series that I'm doing called Earth 2049. It's a sci-fi series. It's five bucks, but if you can't afford it for some reason, like you're out of work or whatever,
Starting point is 00:05:39 just holler at me and I'll comp you subscription because they make it very easy over there on substack. So that's some stuff that we got going on, aside from touring and whatnot. How are you, buddy, back in L.A.? Yeah, I'm good. I'm on this constipation diarice cycle, which is new. I don't know what's causing it, and it's very not fun. But other than that, I'm phenomenal. Is it just travel, you think?
Starting point is 00:06:02 Because, like, man, when I travel, I can't shit. Maybe I also think I went on like a high protein thing. I think it might have been that. I was trying to like cut carbs and who knows. Who knows? It just could be God punishing me for daring to exist. Yeah, he'll do that from time to time. Well, other than that, I mean, I'm phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Well, that's not entirely true. Andy and I have to move. I can't remember if I brought it up on here or not. You have it like you had to move from your place in LA? Yeah, they're developing like they're tearing down our whole complex. And so we're going to have to move and it really sucks. Like a lot. This is probably the most upset I've ever been that I've had to move.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Right. Because, I mean, it's a sweet place, sweet area. But they're just too old for that shit. You know what I mean? Dude, I know. I hear, especially because, like, I guess it's because we're comedians
Starting point is 00:06:53 and comedians are always going a different place. I'm constantly talking to somebody about their move because I basically mainly hang out with comedians. And almost every single time one of my buddies or you or whoever is like, yeah, move. I have like a little mini heart attack. Like it's happening to me. I'm like, oh God.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Like how the, like I can't even, dude, I can't fathom it. Yeah, it's not good. And, you know, Andy's pretty upset. I mean, the other thing is we're lucky. We got this sweet place and it's affordable and it's rent controlled. Rent stabilized. That's different. Rent stabilized.
Starting point is 00:07:27 And, um, what's different between stabilizing control? Uh, basically rent controlled is. better and harder to get it. We can't afford anything equivalent around here. You know what I mean? Right. Because even a rent-stabilized place, the way that works is they can't up the rent by very much
Starting point is 00:07:52 unless new people come in and then they can catch it up to the market. And then they gave us the letter five days after the moratorium on evictions was lifted. Oh, that's good. two days after our rent check cleared because they wanted us to pay for our October rent. Right. Because I mean, if you had got that before,
Starting point is 00:08:12 you'd have been like, all right, word, fuck you, I'm out. Yeah, well, I also paid my rent all during the pandemic
Starting point is 00:08:18 for two reasons. One, I thought I was afraid that they were going to make me pay it all back at the end. Yeah, that would suck. And two, I wanted to keep my place.
Starting point is 00:08:27 I thought, well, they'll kick me out at the end. Now, it turns out they eventually made rules where that wasn't the case. I wish I was just not pay my rent the whole time if I'd have known that these motherfuckers was going to do me this dirty.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Yeah. But here we are doing that. But we're going to look at, there's a spot called Altadena. It's where Carmen used to live. Andy's got some friends over there. We're going to look there. It's pretty far out, which sucks, but we can afford something. They're going to look there.
Starting point is 00:08:53 We're going to look around here. Yeah, I was about to say, well, that was going to be my next question. Is like, are you going to stay in L.A.? Or you're just going to be like, you know what? Fuck it. It's time. We're going to Nashville. Because of Andy's band.
Starting point is 00:09:04 We're staying in L.A. She's got an album coming out probably in January. Her whole band is on this coast. San Francisco. And because of that project, we can't really consider leaving right now. And then also for me, I don't know. I just signed with a new management company
Starting point is 00:09:25 and they're saying all the right things. So there's a part of me that doesn't really leave. Yeah. But, man, I'm not going to lie. I've been looking at land in Nashville and doing the math. And it's like, damn, the mortgage would be less than my rent. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude, like, you know, constantly, it's like almost become parity at this point, how many people, like, when they find out that I still live in my hometown, you know, they're just like, wait, what? And I'm like, yeah, you know, I mean, I, first off, I like it. It's where my family is. And secondly, I genuinely believe it gives me a little credibility in some of the stuff I'm
Starting point is 00:10:02 like, you know, I shit on them. but I'm like, ah, fuck, I still pay taxes here, so they can't be too mad at me. But, like,
Starting point is 00:10:08 they're like, how can you, how could you live there? And I'm like, um, property value. You get over a lot of shit. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:10:17 Like, you will get over a lot when your mortgage is like, four times less than rent in any of the other cities that you would like to live in. But I'm a huge romantic. Like, I've been walking around D.C. for the past,
Starting point is 00:10:30 you know, seven days. And I have intentionally not looked up, like, how much the rent and stuff is around here. Because like I'm already just decided. I'm like, dude, I'm moving to D.C. This is it.
Starting point is 00:10:39 This is great. It's a wonderful neighborhood. I also am like very intrigued about Nashville because like I, I'd be lying if I hadn't said that I hadn't fantasized about all of us living in Nashville together, you know, like in close proximity and like, oh, dude, Zanis is our home club now. We can all do comedy and we're all here and we're like based in this central location. But I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:11:01 You know, LA's the spot. Well, they're filming stuff. up in Nashville too. Some of our other friends have commercial agents and I know at least two people who worked on a pilot that I think FX paid to get shot. I don't think it ended up
Starting point is 00:11:15 being put out but you know they got paid to do it. Now they didn't get paid union fees. They know they got they made a pilot in Nashville for fucking you know less money than everybody else. Yeah. But yeah it's tempting.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I think part of it too is the culture there is changing rapidly. Most people who are moving to Nashville right now, they consider it to be like L.A. without all the progressives or liberals breathing down my neck. So that kind of sucks. That does suck. It's also for me,
Starting point is 00:11:50 it's not quite close enough to mine and Andy's family to be home. I mean, it's definitely, it's obviously closer than California. Don't get it twisted. It's just, it's not really a drive up for the day. drive.
Starting point is 00:12:03 It's about three hours. I don't know. Maybe you could do that. So I don't know. I mean, it's two hours from where I'm from and I've thought about it in that sense. I was like, well, it's like not close enough that people are just going to be popping in all the time. But it's close enough to where like, if my mom called me at 7.30 or 8 in the morning and was like, hey, your sister's having a bad day. Do you want to come have lunch?
Starting point is 00:12:25 I could feasibly do it, you know? Like, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Well, and also with the kid thing. It's like, hey. I'm having a bad day come watch my kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That could, at that point it becomes, I don't know, it's two hours.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. They're going to give me, though. I don't know, it's a little too far. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But I don't know. I mean, all that stuff is, it's kind of forced upon me. It was something I wasn't planning on thinking about for about a year, and then now here we are.
Starting point is 00:12:59 And I suppose it's possible that if somebody will buy this, place and just want to make improvements and offer us another lease. But I would find that. I think that's a less than 1% chance. Yeah, because that would hit. Yeah. I do think because we rent-stabilized, they have to pay us because we're in heathen, California, with all these liberal rights, which is a huge relief.
Starting point is 00:13:23 I think they're going to have to give us like $8,000, which when you talk about moving trucks and all that, you know, it'll eat a lot of that. but still it's nice to know that that might be coming. Well, I mean, luckily, if you hire a moving company, you'll know most of the comedians that are moving your shit, you know? Not in L.A. unfortunately, I'll probably despise them and think they're not funny. Oh, right. That's why L.A. comedians aren't as funny as New York.
Starting point is 00:13:47 They don't fucking work for moving companies. I agree. What are they doing in L.A.? Because in New York... Stream. Yeah, because in New York, it's like literally everybody I met, And it's, I get it, but everybody I met was either they moved furniture or they walk dogs or both. Like, oh, that's what you had to do both.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Like, that was, it was like, it wasn't a, oh, sometimes, like all of them. Every single comedian I met in New York was moving furniture. And yeah, everybody in L.A. has a Twitch. Well, I do feel like to be fair that most of the people I meet out here, you know, I've leveled up. Like, I don't go to open mics. Yeah, yeah, you don't hang out with them pieces of shit. Well, so I know. Like I have one friend who has walked dogs and was an assistant.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah. And then I know. Well, assistant, that's what's up. Yeah. That's the matter right there. If you're 25. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're 30 and have real dreams and bills, it becomes kind of terrible.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Well, that's true on the bills part. But if you're 30 and like you're not married with kids or whatever, like, it still would be cool to get an assistant job because like you actually are in the room. Like, that's a job. That's a job in the thing that you actually want. do like that's one of them you know we've we've in shows we've done we've had some assistance that were that were comedians and wanted to be writers and i remember sitting there thinking like god damn like if i had known like because i'm so stupid we're all stupid we're from georgia i was like if
Starting point is 00:15:12 i knew that this was a thing i would have totally tried to do this when i was younger i would have moved to l.a and tried to be an assistant to somebody i'm not sure how that would have worked though because most of them know somebody for sure somebody i'm charming and it's like yeah but you were a drunk. Yeah, that's true. I'm just now getting it together in that regard. But I mean, maybe you could have, but I feel like I don't know if I would have done it at 25. Yeah. I mean, I guess I was a bit, you know, doing all the shit. So I guess it's different. But I was just, I don't know about like getting up at six to make sure everybody has coffee by seven at 30. You know what I know? Yeah, yeah. Now, let me be clear when I said that this is a, if I could go back knowing everything,
Starting point is 00:15:57 that I know now. Absolutely. Absolutely 25-year-old Corey, knowing what 25-year-old Corey knew, would not, could not have done that. Dude, at 25, this is none of stupid this is. At 25, I genuinely believed I was a veteran of comedy. I mean, you technically were because you started so young.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I'd been doing, yeah, I'd been doing it nine years. But like, you know, I, like, I maintain that like 23, 24 is when it finally, like, started clicking, you know. but like yeah I was already like going bald thought I was a road dog like all that shit but you know I don't know it can be the move it'd be better than moving furniture I think if I did it all over again no law school because that was expensive yeah I mean sometimes I wonder it's giving me it's like giving me a lot of weight to some of my opinions and some of the things we've done I think so you know yeah but I don't know how much that counts like if you just read and no facts that are Like is it worth $90,000 or whatever the fuck? So that you can get... Right. And I got a half right.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Yeah, right. But is it worth all that just so that you have weight behind it when you go, oh, actually, I was a lawyer, so I do know what the fuck I'm talking about. Right. I think I would have moved to Chicago or Denver at a young age, probably instead of college or maybe go to college in one of those cities and then go to New York. And again, this is if I knew. now what I knew then and I would have started the internet earlier so that I don't have
Starting point is 00:17:32 so much resentment in my heart for having to do it later yeah I would have definitely it's so funny to say because like I'm successful now I'm what I consider successful and you know surely in 10 to 15 years I'm gonna I would be listening to this going like wow you thought you were successful that's hilarious but if I could go back I would have gone to college, but I'm in a way different situation. Well, I think I would have gone to college in one of those cities and started stand-up. I mean, dude, I was in Boston for law school looking at announcements for like stand-up competitions and stand-up contests and open mics going like, I don't think I have time to do
Starting point is 00:18:14 this. I would change that as an example. I should have just, I wasn't making good grades in it. I wasn't going to do the reading. I went home, pretended to do the reading, and then drink IPAs and farted my way through a basketball game. Yeah, I've learned in the past couple years, and I'm going through another bout of sobriety that like, if you're someone who drinks, you kind of can't really say, oh, I don't have time to do insert A. Because it's like, yeah, you do have, if you stop drinking, you'd have time to do that plus another thing.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Like drinking takes up so much of your time, and especially when you're in college, because like nowadays when we get older, you know, it's not just like, oh, yeah, you know, when you're hungover, you don't do anything. It's like, no, here's how much time drinking takes away from you when you hit your 30s. The day you're drinking, you ain't getting shit done because you're drunk. The day after, you're way too hung over to do anything. And the day after that, you're not hung over, but you're way too fucking tired and you're still empty. So that's three days of your whole fucking week gone because you decided to get drunk one night. Right. For me, at least.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I mean, that's not everybody. We went to Palm Springs this weekend. I saw Elizabeth Cook and Wayland Pain, first of all. Oh, that's great. Both friends of the show. Friends of the show, friends of mine. friends of yours and they were phenomenal and um i think it's i didn't drink i didn't really party and it screwed up my sleep habit maybe it screwed up my sleep because i was away from my bed corey
Starting point is 00:19:36 oh really let's hear about it uh well i want to tell you folks about the helix matrix that uh i've told you about before you guys know that i have one and uh my sleeping experience ever since i moved to helix has been so much better it's uh comfortable it's cool at night, I don't know. It's just one of those things where I hesitate to say it's perfect, but it feels like it's perfect. The way Helix sleep works is they have a sleep quiz that takes you two minutes to complete and it matches your body top to your sleep preference and it gives you the perfect mattress for you. Why would you buy a mattress made for someone else? Well, with Helix, you get a mattress that you know it would be perfect for the way you sleep
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Starting point is 00:20:50 I think all mattress stores are at front for some kind of weird drug rings. So don't do that at all. Just order from Helix. It'll be way better. But you don't have to take my word for it. It was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020 by GQ and Wired Magazine. It's been recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving sleep.
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Starting point is 00:21:53 York, do that. That's great stuff. And hey, man, right on time, baby. Here he is. The man of the hour, too sweet to be sour. It's Trey Crouter, ladies and gentlemen. Are we here? Y'all been here, huh?
Starting point is 00:22:07 We are here. Yeah, we've been here. Drew was just telling us about hanging out with Elizabeth Cook and Whalen Payne. That hits. I assume. Did that hit? That was great. She's such an angel.
Starting point is 00:22:19 It did it. Waylon's got a dog named Petey, a little chihuahua. I think we might have met him on the podcast, but he sings with Whelan. And I mean, like, literally, yeah, he comes out and, like, sings with Whalen while he's holding him, and it's the cutest thing ever. And I think we've talked in here before, Waylon Payne's album that came out in 2020. I think it's the queer, the pusher, blue eyes, the Harlet and Me.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Yeah. Is incredible. Hearing it live was incredible. hearing him tell stories about his mama and Chris Christopherson was incredible. And then, of course, Elizabeth Cook, Elizabeth Cook's one of those people. I've said it to her, I've said on the podcast. Me and you've talked about it, Trey. I love Elizabeth Cook albums.
Starting point is 00:22:59 They're great albums. But, man, she is truly something else live. For sure. Yeah. I know she's got her own show on Serious. I know that, and she has for a while. Does she have her own podcast that I'm just not aware of? No, she has a fishing show upstream on that channel.
Starting point is 00:23:17 me and you did comedy for The Circle, I think. The Circle, yeah. She has a show on Outlaw Country on Sirius. She may be making an announcement about soon, but yeah. Well, I only said that because it's like, yeah, if she had a podcast, I feel like I would know about it because, like, I just couldn't imagine her having her own podcast not being one of the greatest listens of all time because she's just like, she's so infectious and funny and just brilliant and just, yeah, she's, as they say in France, Le Pax. Carge total. Oh, is that how they say it? Yeah, the total package.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Yeah, no, I gathered. Oh, okay. I just didn't know if you were, I didn't know if you were doing a like, you know. Is that literally how they say it? Right. Yes, that is how they say it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Because it sounds like, you know how I like a picture of like, I could have made it up. Yeah. When characters would be talking to a Mexican. Yeah. Like mainstream white characters and mainstream comedies in the 90s. If they were talking to a Mexican person, they would be like, no.
Starting point is 00:24:17 trucko on the roado. El Diablo, which means the Diablo. Yeah, that type of thing. I thought maybe you were doing that with... No, but you honestly... Because you listen, let pacage total. Yeah. That sounds like one of those things. But sometimes
Starting point is 00:24:33 it be that way. If I had, that would have been really impressive, I feel. But no, that... Well, you know what? Now that I think about it, I... I heard... Oh, my God. The first time I heard, Le Pachas Total was, I want to say
Starting point is 00:24:50 Rich Eisen saying it. So it may be one of those things. He might have been doing that. And I was just like, look this up. Yeah. I'm doing it right now. But it was definitely Rich Eisen on Sports Center. And I think he was talking about like,
Starting point is 00:25:05 hell, who knows? That's not. Was he doing that? Yeah. Apparently the way to say total package in France is look complete. And it looks like. complete, like the complete.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Oh, like Feta complete, but not com. Well, no. That's Feta compli. Yeah. Feta complete was the completion of your your in a minute. I don't know how to say that, but I this is, yeah, it's A Feta complete is your, is your fate being fulfilled, right?
Starting point is 00:25:39 But I think that has already happened or been decided before those affected hear about it, leaving them with no options but to accept it. But isn't that it spelled? differently. I can't believe I didn't know. It's not the same word. I can't believe I don't know as much about French or language I've never even tried to study
Starting point is 00:25:56 than I thought I did. It does hit for me that you just went with. I was like, maybe. Yeah. It does it for me, though, that you were like,
Starting point is 00:26:04 no, that's it. That's what it. Well, a 12-year-old me. Could you tell you my listening to it that that's it? A 12-year-old me heard Rich Eisen say it. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:26:15 but clearly he was saying. it to be funny. Now it's clear. Now that's clear to me. At 12, it wasn't. And I'll be honest with you. Let Packash Hotel does sound like some fucking French shit. I know.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Yeah, because you put a French accent on something it does. I know. Well, this is so funny. Yes, this is wonderful. This is right. This is just braven. Did that like a thing you've said? I say it.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I say that all the time. When somebody... Everybody, people who know anything about French, French, they're like, oh, that's funny. Yeah, they never run. If I was to ever say anything in French, people would be like, look at this idiot, thinking he knows. I also love that part of this your mentality was,
Starting point is 00:26:59 you're telling me Rich Eisen, the guy who has had like 19 lawsuits against him for flirting with people. Again, he said he lied to me on TV. Again, as I said it out loud. Rich Island's a creep? No. He's been sued a lot. For what?
Starting point is 00:27:15 Probably. I mean, you do do this. As I started saying it out loud, I was like, oh, yeah, you're right. It's just one of them things like my whole life. I've just been saying it. And I was like, oh, wait, that was Rich Eisen that taught me that. No, he's been sued. Well, yeah, but like I feel like anybody that's been on TV as long as he has has been sued.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Rich Eisen just can't seem to escape embarrassing, flirty email accusations. Look, I'm not saying he's like a, oh, okay. I'm not saying he's an assaulter. I'm saying that he has been reprimanded for being, you know, dushy. Look, all I'm saying is, you're like Rich Eisen said it, and I was like, yeah, Rich Eisen, the guy. No, I know. I was saying, all I was saying was that 12-year-old me believed that. I thought you were going to say, because Rich Eisen, he's from that Arrow Sports Center before he went to NFL network where they were like almost like late-night talk show host in a way.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Because, like, they were, I thought you were going to be like, oh, you mean Rich Eisen, the guy who helped popularize the wise, cracking sportscaster thing. But of course, Drew was like, you mean the serial assault of Rich Eisen? The fucking Matt Lauer of sports. I don't know if he's the Matt Lauer. You said that, not me, direct quote. Drew Morgan, Rich Eisen is the Matt Lauer of sports, you said.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Drew, Drew Fisting Morgan over here. I, too, was thinking of that. Are we moving on? I hope. I guess. trying to figure my head around this rich eyes and things. I've always been a fan. It looks to me like he had a bit of a...
Starting point is 00:28:52 He was married and had a little flirting back and forth with a co-worker 15 years ago, and that's pretty much it. I don't think there was ever any allegations of... You still... I mean, yeah, you definitely shouldn't do that. I said he got sued. I did not accuse my man of harassment. In fact, I said, I think he's a serial...
Starting point is 00:29:08 I think he's a womanizer. You know what? I think he's a rapist. Well, we... We did it. We went full circle. We did it. Yes, we did it.
Starting point is 00:29:20 We did. I said, you go trust Rich Eisenman, the guy who keeps getting sued for email flirtations, and then you guys went to Fish Farden. Yeah. Yeah. We'll agree to disagree. I have a slightly different recollection of what transpired, but that's okay. Did you have something you wanted to move on too when you asked if we were moving on?
Starting point is 00:29:39 Got something lined up. I don't know how this. So I got this new water bottle, and last night I had a fire. My friend David said my, the water. the water tastes like smoke. This is metal. How that work. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:29:51 I don't know, but that kind of sounds like a hit. It don't taste bad. Yeah. Like whiskey. Yeah, I was about to say like whiskey, right? You can start a smoke water company and call it deep purple smoke water. Because the band's on the water. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Isn't it? Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I have to sell it to like the guy.
Starting point is 00:30:16 who wear like tactical shirts even though you know probably you know 100 but I feel like you probably could sell it you could sell it.
Starting point is 00:30:24 You could sell liquid misty smoked water like this I just I made this water on my big green egg you could sell that to fucking
Starting point is 00:30:32 dumbasses like easily. I mean I'm like I don't mind the way this taste I hope it's not forever I hope it's just this water and not this bottle
Starting point is 00:30:41 I asked to answer your question which I'm in no way qualified to do I don't actually know how to do so. But to answer your question, I mean, it's not airtight, obviously. You drink out of it. It sat by a fire for a long time.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Smoke, just, you know, permeated. It's not like it's fully sealed. Into that hole? I mean, yeah. How else do you explain it? I don't think it's permeating the fucking metal shell. I'm trying to figure out if, Andy, does this bottom part come off so you can put ice in it or something? I mean, the top part comes off.
Starting point is 00:31:17 It's probably not full-on airtight either. It's not fast-eared sealed is what I'm saying. I'm blowing in it right now. Yeah, right. Yeah. There you go. Still wild to me. It's either that or magic smoke.
Starting point is 00:31:35 But it got in. How did it didn't go right back out? I guess it like mixed in. What? It did, but it mixed with the water first. Well, it got in to that whole. Oh, why didn't it just come back out without infiltrate my water? It probably just sort of smoke-fucked around inside there for a minute and then drifted out.
Starting point is 00:31:54 But in the meantime, it smoked your water up. You got smoke water now. It also probably had some condensation because of the heat. And then that condensation, you know, rained down. And then that was a very smoky condensation. Yeah, I don't know. So you had little clouds inside your water bottle. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:32:13 I mean, you know, I know there was a whole water cycle, like middle school. science project involving the water cycle that basically worked like that. Yep. You also make barometers with, you stretch a piece of rubber over a jar, and then the next day it's sunk way down because of pressure? Yeah, I don't remember none of them. It's funny because I have children who are that age, and we have books filled with, like, those science experiments, and I still, I really got nothing.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Did you go hold on science experiments, Troy? Kind of. I mean, like, as with most things about, like, four salinas. standards. Yeah, right, right, right. Like, but really, no. Like, I made, like, a model of Mars that... But it hit for you.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Rotated, you know? Like, I had a little older... I pulled a little motor out of, like, a handheld fan, and put that on a model of Mars with the moons on it, made it rotating shit, and that just blew their fucking minds. All them dip shits I went to school with. How old are you? Like, it wasn't really that.
Starting point is 00:33:14 I never really went that hard. By not, like, Asian kids standards, not even. even close. Right. Or even Indian kids standards, you know, like Tushar Indian. Or what age? A little bit more money? Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Any of those way more impressive than anything I ever did in science. But in Salina, yeah. How old were you when you made that? About middle schoolish. I don't know. Sixth, this grade, something like that. Somewhere between fourth and seventh grade, probably. In like third grade, I got really into much more basic ones,
Starting point is 00:33:49 like the barometer, which is why I remember it. We made a terrarium. We had the water cycle inside a thing. We did a lot of stuff like that. By middle school, I was like, I'm going to do the bare minimum. I like books. I was into books, not science. Yeah, definitely by high school, I wasn't doing no experiments or nothing anymore.
Starting point is 00:34:08 I mean, I've told y'all, I didn't even do my homework in high school. I bet Corey did some experiment. Well, we've done it. We've covered just a bunch, but like, I was in gifted science classes. but that meant I was in special ed science classes because of the budget at Salana High School. So like in high school, my projects was like, you know, building stuff out of straws and whatnot, color and pictures of molecules and she didn't get hundreds of science classes learning nothing. Make sure Rick you don't swallow his tongue.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Yeah, with a straw. That lady who came around to teach us had us do. enter a geography contest that was like East Tennessee or statewide. And me and my friend Brandon, he got stoned and I drank and we made a model of the state of that was the punishment for doing science and Sunbride. Yeah, we made a topographical actual model of Tennessee. But like, I remember the damn thing. We baked it.
Starting point is 00:35:17 We made it out of mud. literally in clay. I mean, it looked kind of cool. We spray pan in the mountains, but like, it was, you know, we were just making it up. It was like, this is clearly the upper basin and the Cumberland plateau. And like, I remember one dude was like, that is not even close to being in the right place.
Starting point is 00:35:33 It's like, okay. When I was in middle school, my experiment was, brace yourselves, it was, what freezes faster? Hot water or cold water? And my hypothesis was that it would be hot water because the molecules were sped up and yada yada yada yada turns out that's in from what i gathered scientifically that was correct in a lot of the experiments the hot water actually did freeze faster in the
Starting point is 00:36:00 cold water anyhow i've always heard that yeah i did that in sixth grade and i just saved it and did it in seventh grade and and nobody said a word like it had stains on it by the third year yeah coffee from my mom having to like pick it up yeah but like it was just the same one i would just use it and nobody said a word. So that was good. I remember in my statistics class in college, the professor used this example of a guy who, like, and the professor's whole point was how it's like,
Starting point is 00:36:29 how you can get away with being just abjectly lazy and whatever if it's like creative, basically. It'll make sense in a minute. For statistics class, we all had to run these like really elaborate. It was actually part of your senior thesis in psych, the statistics part, you had to run these really elaborate, like,
Starting point is 00:36:49 models to determine likelihoods of shit. And mine was like about the likelihood of college athletes when it comes to gambling as opposed to like regular college students when it comes to gambling. And that was pretty complicated. But the example of the professor used was a guy who looked at the effect of prayer on house plant growth. Right. So like all he did, all he had to do was like, hypothesized that prayer would have no impact
Starting point is 00:37:21 on the growth of a house plant and then get two houseplants at least. Feed one of them, house plant food and water and sunlight, right? And then the other one, he just prays every night that it's going to grow, right? He says
Starting point is 00:37:38 in his report that he pray. He don't even have to do that. Right. And he didn't do that and that is why by God it didn't work. Yeah, that is the loophole. So you probably should, to avoid that loophole from the God squad, I guess you should have some empirical evidence of yourself praying every night. But you pray every night that the plant will grow whatever. You compare the results at the end. Of course, the Jesus plant dies immediately and
Starting point is 00:38:01 the other one thrives and that's your thesis or whatever. So it's like easy as fuck for him to do, but also like hit for the professor. Do you know what I mean? Like he really got away with it. Because the professor was an atheist douchebag or whatever and was like, hell yeah, you showed Yeah, you know them goddamn liberal college professors. You know how they are. Yeah. He was like an atheist. But, well, yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:38:24 You don't. I've heard. Yeah. He wasn't a douchebag at all, at least not when I was in my early 20s, but he was definitely like, I mean, I assume he was, he seemed to atheist E. And he also was a drunk, you know, was always at the bars and shit. He hit her hard for everybody. Yeah, it is what's up.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Drunks hit. Drunks do hit. I miss y'all, by the way. Yeah, well, it won't be long. No. You've been in D.C. forever now, right? Yeah, I've been in D.C. for a week, and my wife was with me for the first, like, five days. And me and Amber...
Starting point is 00:38:56 Oh, she ain't there no more? No, I took her airport a couple days ago. She had to go back to school and be a teacher. I assumed you were planning that, but it very much sounded like you were like, no, I had to call it, son. Yeah, no. I drove her to the airport. Yeah, I was just like I got you... Not really much.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Yeah. Now, about after five days, we are done with each other. that is true. But like it's one of the things where like, you know, we were, I was, it was definitely me. I was starting to get on her nerves and that was getting on my nerves. And I was like, okay, you know, she's leaving tomorrow. And then I'm really going to like enjoy the city. I've been so miserable since she left.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Like I woke up the day after and I was like, God damn it. I wish Amber was here so I could get on her nerves. And so now I need y'all to, I need y'all to hurry up and get here because I'm fucking like, I'm like for real lonely. that used to not happen to me. And I think yesterday I was talking to my mom. And she was like, yeah, used to when you was in a city by yourself, you never felt this way. Because you would always just go to a bar and start drinking. And then you would meet a dude.
Starting point is 00:40:00 And you're fucking start. I was like, oh, damn, you're right. Like, when I was boozing, like, I was technically less alone. Like, I'm in a better mood right now because I'm not boozing. But, like, yeah, I never, like, there was always like, yeah, I mean, I'll just go to this Irish pub and get shit-faced and talk. to the bartenders. Like, there is a, I didn't realize how much of a trigger it was going to be as soon as Amber left.
Starting point is 00:40:20 I was like, I'll tell you what, I can go for a goddamn beer bite right now. Okay. You don't, you work differently than I do. And I'm not even saying I'm going to do this either. And also it could be a famous last word situation.
Starting point is 00:40:31 But I think that like, so yeah, we haven't been drinking. I haven't had drinking. I don't know. I mean, however, whenever Atlanta was over a month ago,
Starting point is 00:40:39 six weeks ago, something like that, I guess. And, but I didn't do that. because I felt like I had anything even approaching a drinking problem. Me either. I did it because it's like I can't keep working.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I can't keep going on full weekends and doing shows and like doing my job like this. Because I'm just getting too old and it's affected me too much, I guess. And it's like I just can't keep doing this. So that's why I stop. My point is I feel like me and this won't happen to me because I don't do that because of Katie and the boys. But if I went to a city early or stayed late, I think I probably would go. to a bar. Like, if I didn't have to fly the next day, I wasn't flying the day before.
Starting point is 00:41:20 I also wasn't, I didn't have shows that night. I was just there for an extra day. I think I would just go to a bar and try to hit because it's not, I'm not on a, like, I'm not on a cold turkey situation, you know, where it's like, oh, if I have, you know, if I have one beer, the next thing, you know, would be fucking railing Coke with Cho. It's not so much that for me, though. Like, aren't you running out of stuff to do? I think I could do it.
Starting point is 00:41:45 especially in D.C. I can totally, I like going to museums. Also, you're not off weed. Getting high and going to museums is one of my favorite things in the world. I can do that. I mean, I drove to Gettysburg yesterday. I would run out of stuff, though.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Yeah, and I guess I sort of have, but luckily, we had this today, and then we've got a couple other things. So I was like, well, you know, I've got, I'm busy or whatever. But, yeah, no, I'll hear you on that, Tray. But, like, I'm also like, I'm getting so much shit. As happened last time I got sober, I'm getting so much done aside from like the stuff that we do together that it's like I forgot how much of a fucking cheat code it is that I just don't even want to.
Starting point is 00:42:24 And I get like I get like addicted to the like it's been six weeks. You know what I mean? Yeah. My man called working hard and being sober a cheat code. It is. Well, because no, but here's the thing. That ain't you. That's the job.
Starting point is 00:42:38 No, I know. But I did it all drunk. So I got great doing it at a disadvantage. So now it's like when you take the weight off the bat, you know what I mean? Like you're sitting there swinging. I've been in the deck swinging with the weighted bat for so long. And now I'm at the plate like, woo, boy, ain't this fucking a lot easier. But yeah, like I get addicted to the number two.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Like six. I get that. I don't, I don't think I have that full on. Because like I said, I think if I was in a scenario, I just in that, in this six weeks or whatever it's been time frame, I haven't been in that position at all. Like I haven't been somewhere where it would hit to drink. And also, I'm not working tonight. I'm not working tomorrow. You know, whatever.
Starting point is 00:43:21 I've either been on the road doing shows or I've been at home with Katie and the boys. So I haven't been like tempted to drink. But in my head, I was like, if I was in that situation, I would just drink because it's not that big of a deal. Because I'm not an alcoholic. So who gives a shit? But now that it's been like six weeks, part of me is like kind of wants to keep it going. But I also kind of still don't really care. we'll just sort of see how we'll just sort of see how it goes you know well we i told i'm i teased earlier i
Starting point is 00:43:48 didn't say exactly what it was i just said that uh our shows in nashville were going to be extra special this year so people need to get their tickets because those shows are definitely going to sell out because they already almost are but like you know part of it is like we've got these a lot of these projects going and like one of them will be complete around december and i was like the second that shit's over i'm i'm i'm i mean i'm i'm playing i'm sure you straight up planning on that. Me too. No, me too.
Starting point is 00:44:15 I'm probably going to get tour the fuck back. No, no, we're going to have at least two weeks off after that for the holidays or whatever. I'm getting wrecked. My intention is to have all my Patreon shit done and ahead of time for I even go to Tennessee, whatnot. So like we're going to have like Christmas, oh, Christmas break. Yeah. That will be behind us.
Starting point is 00:44:33 It will be like that night. I'm going to get, I'm going to get fucked. I'm probably going to go on a week long bender just to get back out of my system. And then. Well, that next day, I'm going to. fucking Waynesboro, so it ain't no benders in the cards for me. And at Wainsborough, like, you might as well be hungover in
Starting point is 00:44:48 Wayne'sboro. Wainsborough is a, you know, a real hangover of a town. Right. Why? Why not? Yeah. But I've told you all before, and I believe this, I know this is a very cho thing to say, but like, being sober does hit, but nothing
Starting point is 00:45:02 hits as hard as, like, getting sober. Like, like, like, yeah. And to do that, you got to get drunk of you. You got to reset, dude. Or you can't get sober. You do. You got to reset. Literally, there's no other way for it to work. I know, I'm just saying, like, if you're sober for four months, eventually you're like, you forgot what being, what feeling bad feels like.
Starting point is 00:45:25 So you got to remind yourself. You got to do. You got to get absolutely shit fucked with your buddies and then get sober. And I'm looking forward to that big reset in December personally. And, you know, the hangovers, the hangovers for me aren't near as bad ever. since I quit smoking and a thing that really helped me quit Traylene, know what it is. I do know what it is. It's Lucy. That's right. Listen, we're all adults here. Lucy Nicotine is a company that was created to help nicotine users find a cleaner option and feel better about the
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Starting point is 00:49:58 Yeah, I feel like, it's wild to be reminded at any point about how, like, how insanely different society is than it was even a short time ago in so many different ways. So like, here's the thing I've been doing lately, randomly, watching Survivor with the boys, right? Yeah, like the OG? No, and I'll get to why in a second. The main reason is, so I fucking loved Survivor when it first came out. Then I stopped watching after like three or four seasons or something,
Starting point is 00:50:30 20 goddamn years ago, never thought about it again, started listening to writers podcasts and stuff when I moved to L.A. and Survivor is one of those shows. It's kind of like Bake-off, the Great British Bake-Off, where it's like, it will come up periodically amongst, like, TV writers and stuff for being like a guilty pleasure or something. People would be like, you know, I don't care. Fucking Survivor is enthralling or whatever.
Starting point is 00:50:54 And it would come up. And I would be like, every time I was like, holy shit, Survivor's still on. Yeah. And it is. They're on like season 42 or some shit because they do two a year for 20 plus years. anyway, so I would think I'm like, man, I wonder if that still hits for me because that used to hit for me, right?
Starting point is 00:51:11 So I got on net, and I was like, and the boys, hell, they could watch it. It airs on CBS. It'd be fine. So I got on Netflix to see if it was on there, and there's only two seasons, season 20, something like 10 years ago, and then a different random season.
Starting point is 00:51:24 But then I started thinking about it. And it was like, I don't know that I want to go all the way back to the very beginning because that was like 2002 or 2003 or something. And one of the things I wanted to bring up was, the guy who won that year, Richard. His name was Richard, I think.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Yeah, it was Richard. He referred to himself on the show repeatedly as the, quote, fat, naked fag. That was his self-given nickname or whatever. I apologize for stealing that gimmick 20 years later. Do what? I said, I apologize for stealing his gimmick 20 years later. Yeah. But so I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, I think they say fag a lot.
Starting point is 00:52:01 I don't know. I mean, I know they do repeatedly. And I just don't know how else. So anyway, we watched the season on Netflix, then we started a different season last night that's from like 2009. So like not really that long ago. And one of the very first things is like, and I don't try like hide this shit from the boys or whatever. It's just I don't know what else is going to pop up. One of the very first things is a lady, like a Karen-ish type lady from barely 10 years ago, talking to a gay guy that's on the cast about like how she's never seen one in the wild before.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Yeah. You know? Like she's like, she's like, so you're like, you're like a homosexual, you know. And I'm, of course, I'm kind of giving her our accent. She don't really have our accent. She's just a dumb bitch from somewhere else, you know, like I'm there too. They're not, dumb bitches are not exclusive to our stomping grail. They're not, but it sounds funnier when they are.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Yeah, right. So she's like, you're a homosexual. It's like, you know, I mean, listen, hey, whatever. I've just, I've never seen a homosexual before. You know, and the guy's like, I bet you have. You know, she's like, no, no, never. never have. And it's just like,
Starting point is 00:53:06 it's just, that's just wild to think about how like, that wasn't, that is not really that long ago at all. And that was, that's CBS broadcast, television is as mainstream America. As mainstream America gets.
Starting point is 00:53:21 You know what I mean? It's not really that long ago at all that, like all that, that whole landscape was just completely, totally fucking different. For sure. Because nowadays, like, you know, to maybe, I didn't see the rest of it, but to maybe defend that woman a little bit,
Starting point is 00:53:38 it doesn't sound like she was like, I've never seen one in the wild and good. You know what I mean? She wasn't, but it did kind of feel like, well, that was there. No, no, no, no. This reminds me, and y'all were there. I don't know if you remember this, though. This reminds me if when we were at LaParca Meridian, which is the hotel that we got before we were going on the view the next day. And, and so this one.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I barely remember it. Yeah, but... Yeah, this is one of my favorite things ever. So, a backstory that we've told a lot. We got a free bar tab. So what we did was called every comedian we had ever met in New York to come drink on that bar tab. And my mama and my mama and my aunt Beth were there. And we were sitting there.
Starting point is 00:54:20 And some of our comedian buddies was Jewish and the topic of Jewish people got brought up. And my Aunt Beth, I swear to God, not meaning anything by it, literally just stating a fact, screams across the entire bar area. She goes, hey, y'all remember that time we saw a G.U at the Pizza Hut? And the thing, it was in Alabama. You know what I mean? And that was wild because he had the hat on. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:54:46 That's very wild. It was wild. I literally remember the first few I ever saw in my life. Me too. It was at a pizza hut in Alabama. Yeah. I was in fucking college, man. I was like 20 years old.
Starting point is 00:55:01 And I remember it vividly. So Beth said that. And of course, everyone in the whole goddamn bar turned around. Now, granted, all the comedians are comedians. So it was just the funniest thing that they'd ever heard. They also knew, like, she didn't mean, and I wish we'd have burned the pizza hut down behind them. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:55:21 Because that was neat. That was neat. So I'm saying I could see that this woman maybe having a little bit of that in her, like, oh, my God, look. it's a queer you know what I mean I ain't ever seen one for sure Drew I don't know how long you've been muted but you are muted hilarious I was wondering man I can't get any of them in the joke that I just said was uh Corey said it's not like she was like and so we burned the place down and I go but we didn't stop them from doing it you know what I mean right right but I think that writers like Survivor in a show that
Starting point is 00:56:00 like that because you don't have to imagine or bend or worry about a character like that. Actual humans are doing actual dialogue. I can see any writer being like, well, is that problematic potentially? But
Starting point is 00:56:16 this is what real dialogue is. It's like when Tarantino is still in lines from the train. The other thing, dude, it wasn't in, first of all, if people don't remember, the real world did exist before and whatever, but Survivor is the thing that kicked off the fucking reality TV takeover, which don't hit, by the way. It's not a grand legacy to have.
Starting point is 00:56:39 But Survivor's what did that because it was such a cultural phenomenon because it's a pretty fucking ingenious concept, dude. We put people together out there and make them like make them vote each other off with a million dollars at stake or whatever. Just human nature, man. I mean, there's a lot of fucking drama and betrayal and intrigue and backstabbing and scheming. You don't have to write it. It's pretty wild, dude.
Starting point is 00:57:02 It's fucking squid game without murder. It kind of sucks that, like, they get blamed, and I get it, but like, you know, that people draw a line straight from the Kardashians back to Survivor. And, like, yes, they are both unscripted television, but, like, they couldn't be more different in regards to, like, at least Survivor has its format, it has stakes, there's a game. You know, the Kardashians is just like, oh, Chloe has new makeup. Oh, great. my mom's a dumb bitch, you know, like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Like, it is different. Like, all reality shows aren't reality show. And that's why obviously in our world, I prefer to refer to the ones that we're involved in as unscripted. Yeah. Like, it does suck because you're right. Like, Survivor, that's a pretty, like, whoever came up with that shit, smart fucking dude.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Yeah. Girl or woman, whatever. For sure, it was a dude. Yeah, I know. My buddy, Jimmy, used to be my trial partner, a crazy dude in Miami-day public venerobics. office. He had an idea. Tattoos. Yep, lots
Starting point is 00:58:04 of tattoos. He said, he was like, nobody will ever make this ever. And even back then, even in the 70s, I don't think they'd let you make this. But the greatest reality show of all the time would be to just find 20 homeless people. Give them all
Starting point is 00:58:19 150 grand, 400 grand, like come up with the amount of money that you think would make the show hit. It's not weekly. You film it all. You don't put it out until you're done filming. And you just follow them around. And the only rule is that they can't not let you follow them around. And if they ask for help, like, if you're like, hey, where do I find a suit? You help them, but you don't help them in any other way. And he's like, he made a point. He goes, yeah, like,
Starting point is 00:58:46 a lot of them are going to do really fucked up shit. He goes, but like, some of them are going to make it. That will be what gets so. He goes, you're going to have amazing stories, in between stories, and the gnarliest shit ever captured on camera. gnarliest dude. That shit was a good on HBO. This was a long time ago and also this is definitely mean-spirited so I'm glad we didn't do this. But y'all remember that idea that we had for a sketch
Starting point is 00:59:13 where we were going to do like a extreme makeover show where they took a homeless guy and gave him a makeover and then presented him to the family. And he's all beautiful and like dressed up nicely. And the family's crying at this emotional moment that he immediately tries to suck the host dick for coke or whatever. Yeah. Because he's still fucking,
Starting point is 00:59:34 he's still a, he's still a lunatic. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. All our own stuff is. I don't know why we didn't ever run with that.
Starting point is 00:59:42 I think we're like, oh man, wouldn't they have a sound stage and everything? Yeah, yeah, it wasn't moral. That's because D. We wouldn't shave and get a haircut.
Starting point is 00:59:50 That's why we didn't do it. Yeah. Yeah, we had to take Jables. Everybody Jables and get him, you know, like cleaned up or whatever. And he's like,
Starting point is 00:59:58 It was pretty hard. Been homeless and has been addicted to crack. Yeah. Yeah. Shit in a pizza box. It sure did. It is a great story. What was this line that he had were like he was sitting in the pizza box and he made eyes with a guy in a suit and they were both upset?
Starting point is 01:00:16 I think I think he said. I don't want to be this way, but I was the one who had. He said he saw a guy in a suit to see him shitting at a pizza box and that was like his like, I got to get my shit together moment. And I said, you know what's funny. that dude probably saw you doing that was like, I didn't get any way some changes in my life. Right.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Look how free. Look how free in that guy is. I'm a fucking slave to the, you know, because I was working a desk job at the time and that rang true to me. I literally watched the guy, I literally watched the guy
Starting point is 01:00:45 spreading like fertilizer outside my office window once and got all whimsical and jealous about it. As if he couldn't do that. Yeah, I was watching a dude literally shoveling shit. It was like, ah, man, that would have a bit about one to be homeless. That was pretty good.
Starting point is 01:01:04 He could do it. I mean, he's probably come close a few times. Breaking news, literally, I just saw this. 20 people in a plane crash in Texas, all of them survived. Holy shit. Were they vaccinated? I'm looking at the picture. They were in Texas.
Starting point is 01:01:19 They were all unvaccinated. I mean, it's on fire. Like, it's fucked up. I'm sure it was, you know, they didn't get that high off the ground or something, but that's wild. That is wild. People's X-Men, and this is how that show starts. Like, not literally, but you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:01:33 This is like a show where we first find out that there are superhuman mutants among us, and this is how we find out, is because they're in a plane crash and I'll walk away unscath, like some unbreakable shit. Yeah. You know, this is where the story starts to unwind. Right. That would hit for me. That'd be wild.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Or, dude. Or, that's not made for me. No, no, that's been fucking terrified. We'd have to eradicate them, so we'd have to do. Absolutely. Dude, it's funny. you say that because it's like when you read X-Men and like obviously X-Men is an allegory for homosexuals. Everybody knows that at this point
Starting point is 01:02:05 and racism. But like to defend all the people in the comics who are like we got to fucking put these motherfuckers in camps. It's like yeah, they can melt shit with their eyes. We don't have the infrastructure to deal with that. Like it's kind of offensive to say that's what gay
Starting point is 01:02:21 people are. Like gay people like gay people like just run around with their boners just slapping them against fucking kids head. This is real real, real fucking gnarly and fucked up, but part of that was that people felt that way about gay people because of AIDS. Right, yeah, that's true. And they're that afraid of black people. I mean, that's what...
Starting point is 01:02:37 Male shit with their butt holes because of age or whatever. What's her face? They're like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, no, you're right. Because what's her face? I can't... Jubilee, like, her whole power's like, you can't touch her or you'll die. Like, that was definitely AIDS. Yeah, you're rogue. You're right, rogue. Yeah. She didn't believe she used fireworks from her fingertips.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Her power is jazz hands. but you're thinking a rogue. Yeah, you're right. But again, like I'm reading those comics and I'm like, okay, because I'm invested in this world, like I'm with you, I know that the X-Men are here for good. But like, if I was a senator, I wouldn't know that. And I'd be like, yeah, let's put Magneto somewhere, I think. If these people that walked away from this plane crash, totally fine.
Starting point is 01:03:19 If we found out they have a variety of superhuman powers, I'm going to want to keep tabs on that. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm not saying throw them all in camps. But I'm saying, you know, we're going to need to get to the bottom of what's going on here. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Exactly. All I'm saying is you're only half a step away. I saw Derek Henry play football yesterday. Yeah, he's only half a step away from being like and keep tabs on that dude because he can run through. Dude, speaking of an ex-man for sure. Speaking of Derek Henry, like, dude, you watch those fucking clips. I watched that game. That was a great.
Starting point is 01:03:53 That was one of the best money at football games. I mean, I'm a Titans fan, but that was one of the best moneyout football fans I've ever seen. It was all super hit. It was super hit. And again, like, I'm a Titans fan, so duh. But, Dog, I went back and watched clips of Derek Henry, just his clips isolated from that game.
Starting point is 01:04:09 It really, somebody pointed this out, but I'm going to reiterate it. It really did look like one of them, like, middle school highlight videos when one of the kids is just three feet taller than everybody and just like starts it. But all them motherfuckers is pros. It's funny because Derek Henry's literally always been that dude. I know. Like if you go back and watch his high school, it's stupid.
Starting point is 01:04:31 It's comical. He ran for like 4,500 yards in 10 games and like 50 touchdowns or something. But he just kind of never stopped doing that. I know. In college? He's still sort of doing that in the NFL. It's not crazy. He's the greatest of all time, in my opinion.
Starting point is 01:04:47 He's definitely got a shot at getting there for sure. Yeah. I just, as being a specimen, he's number one. Yeah. I watched a juggernaut bitch. Speaking to X-Men, again, like two weeks ago. You guys remember that one of the first viral clips? Of course.
Starting point is 01:05:03 Remember it, Trey? I didn't hear what you said. The juggernaut bitch. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Hit you with your own pimp. Fuck you, Charles. The juggernaut, bitch.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Yeah, of course. Oh, you catch up. I must see. It really hit when they did that in Deadpool, too. Yeah. Yeah. There's more. rape jokes than I remember.
Starting point is 01:05:25 Yeah, of course. It was a different time. It was a different time. Also, if you don't know what it is, an improv troupe is overdubbing clips that they can't hear, they just are watching it and then putting in the dialogue. There were quite a few scenes
Starting point is 01:05:42 where giant men were just dragging women into rooms. Like, it's not okay to make those. But what would you supposed to say in that moment? I was about to say, what other joke you don't like there, Drew? hell. Right. That reminds me.
Starting point is 01:05:55 That reminds me. That reminds me of that clip. That reminds me of that meme where it was when X-Man, the third one in the reboot was coming out, Apocalypse. And he was choking mystique. He had mystique choked. And somebody was like, look at this. Is this Hollywood portraying violence against women?
Starting point is 01:06:16 And that dude retweeted it and said, this man wants to end the world. What makes you think he won't choke a bit? Yeah. Actually, he said this N-word wants to end the world and you think he won't joke a bitch. Might be it harder. We're out of time. He should have called him a purple, because Apocalypse is purple in that movie.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Yeah, we are out of time. And as you know, you can go to well-read comedy.com, W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. And you can get tickets to see us. We're going to be in D.C. this weekend. I'm already here. Shows are getting close to selling out. So grab your tickets.
Starting point is 01:06:57 And also go to Trey Crowder's Patreon. Go to Into the Abiscuit with DJ, DJ Lewis, and Dollar Drew, Drew, Drew, Dahlors. Drew Morgan, if you hadn't ascertained. Also, I've got a substack situation. You can go there and subscribe
Starting point is 01:07:13 to hear my stupid stories. So anyways, we've been the Well Red podcast, and thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show. We'd love to stick around. longer but we got to go. Tune in next week if you got nothing to do. Thank you God bless you. Good night and
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