wellRED podcast - #244 - Drew loves old stinky meat + Songs that don't mean what you think!

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

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Hello everybody. It's Corey Ryan Forster here from the well read podcast and this podcast as always is brought to you by well readcom.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com which is where you You can find tickets to the shows that we are doing. We were just in Washington, D.C. Appreciate everybody that came out to the shows in Washington, D.C. at the Improv, one of our favorite clubs. So much fun. It was nice to meet y'all.

It was nice to do shows for y'all. It was nice to be laughed at. Tremendous stuff. We can't wait to be back next year. Up next. November 6th, Seattle, Washington. November 7th, Spokane, Washington. Excuse me.

I lost my voice on stage in D.C. November 7th, Spokane, Washington. Washington. November 12th through the 13th, we're going to be in Lexington, Kentucky, back where we recorded our album some years ago at Comedy Off Broadway. November 29 through the 21st, Charlotte, North Carolina, December 3rd. We're in New Orleans, Louisiana, December 11th, which is my birthday, through the 12th. We're going to be in Naples, Florida. And then we're rounding out the year with our homecoming shows in Nashville, Tennessee, December 16th through the 19th, at Zuzza Zanis. home club, baby.

2022. What we've got books so far, January 16th, Chicago, Illinois, January 21st to the 22nd, Omaha, Nebraska. Then we're on to Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Knoxville, Tennessee, Little Rock, Arkansas, Bentonville, Arkansas, and Portland, Oregon. And by the way, and y'all know this, because y'all have been fans of our podcast for a while, y'all are the real diehard fans. Y'all know that just because it ain't on the website, don't mean we ain't coming.

You know we're booking stuff all the time. Logistics have been kind of crazy for this tour, you know, on account of the world exploded between the last tour and this one. So, you know, we're trying to get to you. I promise we can't wait to see you. A couple other plug. By the way, if you're used to watching this on YouTube, we're so sorry, but since we've been back on the road,

that's been actually a little bit more difficult. It's easier to do the podcast because we're together, but getting it on tape is kind of a whole thing. So very sorry, but I hope you're still enjoying it. and a couple other plugs. Hey, go sign up for Trey's Patreon if you want to. Also, Drew has End of the Abiscuit. It's a podcast with him and DJ DJ Lewis.

Trey has evening skews with him and SmartMark Aegee. And me, I have a new venture I'm doing. I'm writing stories over at cory ryanforster.substack.com. Most of them are free. You can subscribe if you want to and get bonus stories and get audio versions of the stories. But you can just sign up for free and I'd be just as happy. So we appreciate you And yeah

This was a conversation that we had in Washington, D.C. In my hotel room. Like, subscribe, tell all your friends, download the podcast. We'll see you out there and we love you. We love you so very much. Ski-w! I was thinking to something else. What did I say we should talk about on the podcast

that we were talking about? We were walking last night. You said clothes and time. Oh, shit. God damn it. We had a lot of thoughts. You said we should talk about that on the podcast. Oh, I.

I wanted to ask if you ate your leftover... Oh, yes. Are we going? Yeah, we're going. I had just had a few bites of it, and then I threw it in the trash. Okay. Because I had a salad. Yeah, because we've been talking behind your back all day about how we were hoping you'd get food poisoning.

That's a comment, Dame, with y'all, that you hope something bad would happen to me? Well, it's just because for our listeners that don't know, you stay eating old meat that has not been refrigerated. Drew don't believe that... One time... That's not true. ...in old food. One time, y'all found out that I ate something without it being in the refrigerator the next day.

And y'all's response to that... I don't think so. Y'all's response to that definitely has made me rethink it from time of time. Plus, I looked up... Because I was like, I don't know. I don't ever get sick from it. Maybe let me look it up and see what the deal is. I learned about botulism, which is not a political campaign

or movement. centered around, you know. Botchels? Botchals. Somebody needs to do something about those goddamn botchalist. I'm a pro. I'm a pro.

myself. Well, got a debate on our hands. Oh, okay, it's a joke about the isom part. Yes. Dude, dude, dude. I'm a little, I was sitting there going like, well, is there something of botchels that I don't know about? It rhymes with populism kind of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in an M&M way. Populism. Who's your little slow on uptake? No, I was. I was like I was going like oh my god I thought you were doing a bit I thought you were setting us up to I don't know what no I wish I was I do not feel funny right now I was not setting you up for a bit at all well anyway smash in or anything I will we were just kind of sort of hitting I will absolutely eat you know food that's been left out for three or four hours I think people who just refuse to do that three or four hours that is okay but you I'll do it next day we had lunch pass and like boil the two like I just boiled the two like I just boiled the four hours that is okay but you but you I'll do it next day we had lunch pass and like boil the two like I was boiled the one. the turkey. That was one time and I was really hungry. I'm just saying like, but to be fair, like, you, you eat ass. Yes, I do. So, like, today, I know, I know, I know, I know it's a solid argument.

I mean, I'm not gonna fuck. I'm not gonna fuck the lasagna to be fair. That ain't a solid argument. Well, like, ass is, what? You're acting like it's, that it's gross because, like, I don't know, it won't, it don't hit to eat rather than it will give you botch a little. You ain't going to get botulism for making a buhole. No, but you're dappazuli going to get salmonella. Not if you're eating your wife's buhull. Wives can't give you salmonella? I guess, well, I guess wife's poop don't have diseases in it. You ain't, dude, are you looking poop?

I mean, no, not on purpose. We're very clean. Me and Amber are a very clean group, like, and this is probably weird to some people, but like, and this is a both of us thing. It's not like one of us was like, this is the only way we're ever going to do it. We both just happened to prefer this, but like, we pretty much only bang after both of us. us, I get in the shower and then it's a ritual.

So I get in the shower and then she goes and get in the shower. And while she's in the shower, I fluff myself. You know what I mean? That way when... Make it look ready. Yeah. And that way when she gets out, it's pretty much just like she just takes a towel off and then fucking, you know... Yeah.

All right. Well, hold up. You think you can't get sick from eating ass. No, I didn't say you can't, but I don't think eating your wife's ass when you're not... I mean, if you're fucking eating a hobo's ass under an unypass, like you do. Because they eat rancid food. And that's what's in their ass. Wait, now I fuck hobos?

No. You ate stuff under underpices, including hobo butts. The turkey. It seems clear to me and very reasonable that eating ass is much more dangerous than eating day old food. I don't think that's true. Are we still talking? I've done both. Neither have made me sick.

Are we talking about random ass willy-nilly ass? His name was Willie-Nilly. I'm not, I don't understand how. You ate old Willie-Nilly's ass? Oh, box car, willy-nilly. I don't understand how no one a person makes their ass safer. Because she's just got out of the shower. In my situation, it, like, is because we both just showered.

Yeah, I wouldn't eat an ass if they didn't just shower. Right. Sure. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying about not Willie-Nilly ass. I'm not eating Willie-Nilly meat. It's from Philomino. It's from a nice fucking Italian restaurant. Here's, I brought this up specifically today.

We ate at... Lasagna. We ate that restaurant. I was more worried about the cream in that situation, honestly. We ate at Restaurant de Filomino. A restaurant filamin. This is a spicy meat bowl. Hey.

Right the ericine is a very nice. Very nice. It's not it at all. Do you know pepperoni is an American thing? I did. I did know that. You guys wouldn't know that. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah. But so anyway, restaurante filomena in Georgetown here in Washington, D.C., it's one of the Hittinous Italian restaurants in the world. It's so good. I'll tell you, real quick aside, my second favorite Italian restaurant, I think that we've eaten that in the five years of tour and I bet neither one of you will guess it. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. To the city even. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I don't think I'm in. Fargo, was it? It was it.

It was Akron, Ohio. Louis. I remember that. Louis. Louie's. Yeah. That place hit so hard. And then we got the new sets with Roy Wood Jr. and Ronnie Chain. And Ronnie Chene. Yeah. Dude, Akron, Ohio actually. I thought we just got pizza there. No, I was thinking about. We got like meatballs and stuff too. We didn't get like pasta. Ohio's got a big Italian population. Yeah, that's like a known thing around there. Because Georgetown had great.

I didn't know until we went there. But yes, that's a thing there. But anyway, so today we're at Filomena and Georgetown. Our favorite Italian restaurant hit super duper hard. And Drew got this like lasagna two ways. It was white sauce on one side and red sauce on the other side. It was so as to make pink. So as to make pink.

It was super fucking good. So good. Drew said he was going to get a box because it was huge. And we had appetizers. and we were all very full. Before we, and I forget, what was the... Evan Cheney.

It was the size of your foot. Evan Cheney. Yeah, it was. That lasagna had gout. The meatballs were, of course, great, but that fucking... Evan Cheney, it's like... Aaron Cheney sounds like a Yankees player.

Am I stupid for saying this? But, like, it had some qualities of like Shepard's pie. No, there was fucking peas in it, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the way the meat was in like, and it was fried, god damn it. It's like a fried ball of meat and heads.

Bro, you know it would be so good. his fucking red sauce on a fucking shepherd's pie. Yes, it would. Let's do that. Okay. So then the portion sizes are huge. Y'all got to go to this place. You're in the D.C. area. It's right. He got this big ass lasagna, two ways. Again, I think that's

important because one of it is cream sauce, cream-based sauce. He said, because he can't eat eat it all, understandably, that he's going to get to go box. And I said, but dude, we don't have, the hotel we're saying that, we don't have refrigerators or microwaves. And he was just like, yeah, you know, that don't stop me. And so this is like lunchtime. I mean, it's

3 p.m. But in my first of all, I'm assuming we have a show. We're leaving here. Yeah, we ate the window. We're leaving the hotel at 6.45. It's 3 p.m. So I'm like, he ain't going to eat it before the show, which means he's talking about eating this shit at 1 a.m. when we get

back. 3 p.m. to 1 a.m. a cream sauce sitting on a counter at room temperature. No, I would not trust that. It's not as egregious as the next morning, but I don't, you ought not do that. Food safety guidelines would concur with me and show. That's a conspiracy.

But I will say to defend Drew, he does do that and he don't die. Right, right. I was just making sure I was recording. Yes, I am recording. Yeah, I was about to say to defend Drew a little bit. Like, he doesn't get sick, but like. A choke him on spit from time to time. Yeah, but the thing is, that's, it's, you think you don't get sick.

The thing with, dude, it's not a, it's not a one person I get sick. It's a, it's a fucking, oh, my God, what's the word for, like, not lottery ticket. It's the, it's a, I'm an anecdote. No. This is anecdotal evidence? You are anecdotal evidence, but that's what I'm trying to say. I cannot believe I can't think of the term. It's like a...

Sounded out. I can't figure it out. But I think it's sort of... You're rolling the dice right now for sure. It's what I'm trying to say. It's sort of reverse of what you're saying, which is... It either has the bacteria in it or it don't. Yeah, but I think that those...

Yeah, I don't think that the bacteria is there, but I'll somehow beat it. I don't think that at all. I think that after like, you know, six or seven hours, I'm just not worried about it. I think that there's a very rare chance the bacteria will be there. I think those guidelines, rightfully so, err very much on the side of caution. Just like when you get eggs, like everybody will tell you like, look, the expiration date on eggs, like big egg does that so that you'll buy more eggs. Like they're actually good for way longer.

Now, I don't take a goddamn chance on that shit. But like when they make those, they have to err to the side of like we don't want nobody to get and I agree this is the side of caution. I agree. but if you Google this, it says the general rule of thumb is that food that isn't otherwise preserved must not be in the danger zone

of 40 to 140 degrees Fahrenheit so just room temperature, well, a big scale of room temperature for more than two hours. So you're talking about nine. I'm literally going to die tonight because of all this. Because we've talked about it. Yeah, yeah.

Go back and crush that. No, I had a couple bucks and then threw it away. I just assumed with you it was kind of like, you know, I had a buddy when I was, as kids that like he always played you know basketball barefoot and because of that like his feet like had just like

they was pretty much shoes where if I was to take my feet where if I was to take my shoes off and try to play I couldn't because I never did it and like your stomach is sort of like rock worn feet I don't think you can raw dog botulism yeah I don't that's what I'm saying I don't think well I guess you can't but I've

just figured that with him like his stomach is a steel trap I guess you can do that but I've read before like people say like how is it that animals can they eat raw meat and stuff like that and I'm not saying this is true of all animals yeah I'm a zoologist yeah right but like the thing I saw a commenter on reddit say was like oh they can get sick and sometimes they do it's just like you know uh if that if that shit is in the meat that you eat that's gonna make you sick it's gonna make you sick but like a whole lot of times it ain't in there you know what I mean like you can eat it and be fine but that's what yeah

you're rolling the dice isn't that what sushi grade fish means is that where it came from and the way we packed it and all that, like this meat is of a quality that it's not going to be in there. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely like you don't want to eat non-suit. You don't want to get non-s. Like, if you get non-sushi grade, tuna steaks, you want to cook them a little bit longer or whatever. Well, you guys are freaking me out because, like, my stomach is hurting because I ate too much.

Dude, you know who else? You know who else? You know who else does this shit? Your dog? Honestly, somebody's, I'm sorry. No, that's fine. It's fine. I wasn't thinking about that.

So, I mean, close, but like, Amber. What did you say? What did you say? I said your dog. just to say call you a dog I wasn't thinking about the I didn't even think about it

until you apologized honestly well you can understand why I apologize though is it because his dog's dead yeah yeah yes yes no Amber does this shit

but like Amber I've seen Amber do it like with sushi like and it was only a couple hours what? Dude she doesn't like Amber now granted sometimes though it'll just be sushi

that's been in the fridge for a couple days but that's not even like sushi dog But she'll do it. And she never gets fucking sick. And she fucking... And then he eats her ass.

Yeah, that's true. She, not on them days, because I'm mad at her, because we always get in arguments whenever. We get in so many arguments over food. Because she has so many blind spots with food. Like, it's very wild. Like, she cooks now, and she is a good cook. So I'm not going to be the guys like,

when she cooks, she's good at it. But she never really did it until we started, we got married, not even we were dating. Because she just, like, went to college. Like, she's just ramen noodleing or whatever. So she's got all these fucking, like, weird blind spots. Like, one day, like two or three years ago, so she's a fully grown adult woman who's teaching children.

I went to the cabinet, and I was like, there was a carton of chicken broth, you know, and you get them at the store. And so I was like, ooh, I'm going to make soup or whatever. And I went to grab it, and it was half full. And I was like, what the fuck? And I go open. It was like, it had been open and then put back on the –

and I was like, oh, somebody made a mistake. And I threw it away or whatever. and her goes, hey, why did you throw away that chicken broth? I go, well, it's bad. She goes, I just got it like the other day. I go, yeah, but you use some of it, and then you put it, you didn't put it in the fridge. You put it back on the shelf. And I'm expecting her to be like, oh, shit, brain fart.

And she goes, okay. I go, what are you, what do you fucking mean? Okay? She goes, well, at the store, it was just on the shelf. I go. I know. Yeah. I was like, do you know the phrase, refrigerated after opening?

She goes, she, and she's like, I thought, no, if you get it on the shelf, then that it can be on the shelf. She literally for so long just believed that like if you got it on the shelf warm, then it could always be warm. I was like, no baby. She's like, well, why would it have to be refrigerated? I go, it's chicken. She's like, oh, it like hadn't crossed her mind that it was chicken. That broth is chicken. That broth is chicken. What all do you, like, why don't we have to refrigerate peanut butter? I know some of it you're supposed to. Or, uh, uh, syrup. The preservative. Let's take a break from the podcast real quick while I talk to you about something that I find to be of the utmost importance.

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to cutsclothing.com slash well-read. That's cutsclothing.com slash well-red for 15% off of the only shirt worth wearing. Thank you, Cuts, for sponsoring the podcast. And speaking of the podcast, let's get back to it. Skew. They put preservatives in it. You know, the all-natural peanut butter you get, that is supposed to be refrigerated after you open. I thought that was to keep it from separating.

It does. It don't have to me because I don't want refrigerating. Wait, I thought that was just to keep it from separating. No, it's, I mean, I'm pretty sure Because it doesn't have the preservatives. Yeah. Which I do, you know all that, it's ultra-processed shit, including the preservatives. I got an all-natural Krogerwin and it doesn't say refrigerate after opening it.

I was like, oh, it ain't natural. You want to blow y'all's fucking mine. I might be wrong about that. You might be right about it separating, but I'm pretty sure it's, I'm pretty sure it's not safe in the same way. I just remember this, this actually all started because we got those meat boxes, and my, me and Andy weren't home, and mine got left on my porch, and I got home three days later.

but it had dry ice in the bottom, and I was trying to talk myself into keeping some of it, and I didn't. And that's the first time I looked up botulism. And that shit's scary, dude. So I haven't been doing it the same since then. You've done the thing we're talking about today before on the road, but the other major example, like when you said that was one time,

what I think of, and maybe you didn't end up actually eating it. But do you remember when I had been sent a box of barbecue from blacks and I made the brisket, and it was huge. So I took half of the brisket and I brought it to you in Andy's house and you told me later

you're like, dude, I fucking left that out on the stove. You put it in the stove. Like, not to heat it up. You're like, I'm going to keep this in the stove. You forgot it was there and you left it there for at least a day

or maybe two days and I thought you told me you still tried it. I did try it, I think, yeah. Okay. That was dumb. It was a huge bummer because it was super good.

I'm sorry. This is kind of on topic because we were just talking about but something that kind of blew my mind the other day that I never thought would happen. So, like, not that long ago. I was on Twitter talking about something or whatever, and one of our fans commented that, like,

oh, I was basically saying some very stupid thing. Like, oh, who doesn't like peanut? But it wasn't exactly that. Are we being filmed? Yeah, we're being filmed. Sorry. There? Oh, okay.

I was, the way you said that made it sound like a third party. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right. You know what I mean? you guys think we're being filmed? Well, if the answer was no, I was going to be like, please turn the ring on it off. Why we have this fucking ringline out here? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I had said, I was going back and forth with somebody, and I was basically said something like, yeah, man, you know, peanut butter and bacon are just two of those things that, like, the only two things in the world that are not divisive. Like, we all, everyone likes those two things. Unless peanut butter kill you dead. Right, right, right. And this person commented back, they were like,

I don't like. I don't like peanut butter, but I don't have too much of a sweet tooth. And I remember just being like, that's, you think peanut butter is a sweet treat? Like, that's your thing? Yeah, I've cut out the sweet treats. I'm not on peanut butter. And I was like, what the fuck? Peanut butter being a sweet treat?

Like, how fucking in shape are you that you're like, oh, yeah, that's my little cheat is a... Was it Robbie? No, it wasn't Robbie. But it sounds like some shit. Robbie would say, well, my fucking point is, this was before I had like started living a little bit better. And so Robbie had me on this stuff, tell me, he's like, you know, eat these shakes. he goes, you can actually put peanut butter in these shakes and make it better. He goes, but, he's like,

but use natural peanut butter because the preserve, he's like, okay. And it was putting in the shakes, it was fine. And then I just, all I was getting was natural peanut butter. And at first you're like, oh, God damn, this don't hit, but whatever. Anyway, I've had nothing but natural peanut butter for like four fucking months in my shakes, and I've grown to like it. I fucking had

a spoonful of regular peanut weight. It's the sweetest and I was like, there was always this fucking sweet. And I don't like it anymore. I can't I can't drink Coca-Cola's

It was just like We were talking about We were talking about Recently Yeah I bought an impulse Purchase at the store I bought a big bottle

of V8 splash I'm a V8 splash So sweet I loved that shit I hadn't had it in years I bought some And it is comically sweet

That shit is like Kool-Aid And what's hilarious About it is My fucking trash ass Back when that shit First came out I thought that was like

Healthy Good for you My mama still does. She feed her to the babies. Is regular V8 genuinely good for you? There's a lot of sugar and bullshit too. It's mostly vegetable. But sodium-wise and preservatives.

It's only vegetable juice, right? V8, my dad loved that shit. I thought they put a little apple in it. Just for a treat. Maybe. But it's not, no, no, no. There's no sugar in it or whatever, but it does have a lot of preservatives and sodium. And literally the only reason I know that shit is because, like, for the first time

my life, Robbie's got me looking. that sodium because of how much it bloats you and you know shit like that but like but no dude again like that was my mom used to drink a glass of V8 every morning that's genuinely like it's hell yeah it's hell yeah but when V8 decided to make fruit juice they just and they were like listen we ain't gonna be able compete in this fruit juice game unless we packed

there was no competition in the cold soup game I remember though that's what it is it is cold soup I remember as a kid basically I remember the way because I used to have a joke bad. I can't remember how it goes, but like, it was definitely pitched as like, you know, the adults have their VA, and this is the alternative for kids. They were pitching it. Like, this is healthy. Your kids should drink this instead of like Sunny D. And instead of like, it's like dog, it's not any different.

Surely it was a little better. Yes, there are vitamins in there. There are vitamins in there. But like, you can just put vitamins in a spoonful of sugar and put it in your goddamn mouth. You know what I'm saying? But like, surely, yeah, you covered it with the, you can just put vitamins in your mouth. I just want to circle back very quickly. I googled. health risk of eating ass. And I found a article here. It's very long.

I'm going to skip to the end and read. The bottom line. Got it. It actually says the bottom, parentheses, wink. The bottom line. You were right to cut that part.

Dining downtown is safe and sanitary as long as you and your partner practice safe sex and have good hygiene. Yeah. Well, the good hygiene, sure. The safe sex, bloody, fuck safe sex. After reading. I've been saying it for years. I put a condom on my tongue and eat my wife's ass.

I love her. They're not talking about using dental damage and shit like that, I don't think. After reading through it, it just means like responsible. You know who you're not. You know who butt you're eating and that it's been washed. Of course it's supposed to be washed. I'm just saying that the risk is still there. So let me tell you something right now at the risk of everybody thinking I'm gross.

Well, no, this is the opposite of gross. I love my wife. I do love my wife. I don't care what anybody says. And I don't care if that's. disgusting. No, it's not. That's not what I'm about to say.

The eating ass thing, the trend, and I say trend, I know people have been doing it forever. It's just like being gay. All this new thing. This is trans. What is that? Like, I know it's been around forever, but like, it's popular now. That didn't happen, and I didn't start doing it until I got with Amber, who is my wife and who was my soulmate. I don't think that I would, I wouldn't have eaten the ass of my one-n-nilly.

I wouldn't have eaten Willie Neely's hobo. Depends on who it was, I think. Yeah, I mean, if they were real fucking hot, yeah, I'd have done it. I could name four women right now who's bath water you'd drink. Yeah, that's true. Or, or, or, if I was fucking a girl

and she said, eat my ass. That's true. I'd probably do it then, too. But, like, it definitely, like... Well, there's also a huge difference between what any of us will do or think we'll do right now.

Not horny versus horny. In my opinion, all anal stuff was invented during sex. For sure. Because if you asked me at dinner, do you want to put anything near a butthole? I'm like, nah. But if you ask me, while I'm balls deep in a person,

do you want to put something near my butthole? Well, yeah. I'll put my eye in there. Shout out Chance Willie. Got a great joke. I was just do it. It's a quick hitter. Being horny's weird.

Because when you're not horny, somebody's like, hey, I'm going to spit on you. You're like, you better not. But then you get horny. somebody's like, hey, I'm a spit on you. You're like, hell yeah. You see it porn every now and then. They'll just like spit in the chick's mouth.

You know who does that? Somebody we know does that. I was trying to. Yeah, I know. I didn't know if you wanted to sit back. Nice. He told me that. You were on stage in Atlanta, me and him and Tuchard back there, and he told that same

joke he did whatever. And I was like, dude, I can't, I was like, I can't fuck with no spitting stuff or whatever. And he was like, I was spitting a hand in his mouth or whatever. And I was just like, and I was just like, what? It's a new thing. You spit in our mouth for God, damn. It's our pandemic. It's the thing from pandemic.

That's the time to start it for sure. Well, I mean, we were living together. Is that why you were like? Well, the reason I connected to that in my mind is Arlo, shout out Arlo, Warehouse, a friend of the show. Arlo did one of me and DJ's Zoom shows, and they had a joke. Very funny, Arlo. They had a joke about how they know everybody's getting weird and they're jealous of that because they were living alone.

or without a partner they had roommates but they were saying that they were jealous of how freaky people are having to get because they're so bored they're just spitting on each other and then she went oh you made a face Drew you made a face drew like sorry they they you made a face true like right in the middle of their set

and I was like yeah we do that we got a new thing but it's so pedestrian like especially is that we fuck in the guest bed sometimes no that's real saucy But it's not listen to how why it started, though. It's not saucy. It's literally like a handicap.

It's because we are... Too far from the bed? No, no. No, the bed that we have super, like that we sleep in every night, fucking super hits. Like, it's one of the first things I bought with are book money. Like, it's a fucking expensive bed. And we were like, dude, we'll have it literally have for so long. I've always heard, you ever heard the old papal saying?

Never skimp on the... the things that separate you from the ground. Yeah. So, like, shoes, tires, and mattresses. Yeah. Like, those are things you're always supposed to, like, not be cheap. And you're out here telling people not to listen to pap paws. Well, wait.

Yeah, you're right. We spent a lot, honestly, dude, we definitely got screwed. But, like, we spent a lot of money on this mattress. And, like, yeah, we'll definitely have it for another 20 fucking years. Why did you get screwed then? Because I just remember, I told everyone, because this is the first time I'd ever had, like, money of mine in my. life and I didn't know how much things

cost. It wasn't like 20 grand was it? No, but no, it wasn't 20. It was fucking like close to six grand. Yeah, I was gonna guess five grand. Yeah, I think five is what expensive mattresses caused. Okay, okay. All right, well, I just remember telling, like, I told my my mom's friend Beth, who like, Beth has money that I was, she's like, you spent five

fucking girls. She's like, if you know, if you do your research, you can get a really good mattress for a thousand dollars. But whatever, I didn't. I was, I paid cash like a hell yeah. I went in a lot. So, there you know. So anyways, that bad rules. but I don't know if you guys Two pillows Yeah

And I did the pills Are expensive too So I don't know if y'all know this But Yeah of course y'all know this On the interporepetic beds It's You don't have no spring to it

Because you go in So like there's moves I can't power bottom as good Because like every time I go up My back is sinking into the bed And Amber was having trouble She would get on top And then her knees were in it

And so I like fucking in the floor a lot Yeah we do that Whenever we're at her in-laws my in-laws, we fuck in their floor. But we, I was just sitting there. Had a respect. Yeah, had a respect for sure.

But we went one day because we had a friend over and we'd let her sleep in our bed for some reason. And we were going to take the guest bed because they went to watch TV. That's where I was. And we got in there and we boned on the guest bed and like, I fucking laid it down. And I was like, wait, wait, she was like, what, what's happening? And I realized it was because it's an older mattress and it's got springs. So I was able to like. So anytime that we're not...

Your core's stronger too. Yeah, for sure. Now I can pretty much do whatever I want. But like, yeah, when we really want to lay it, like, she'll get out of shower and sometimes she'll just go, I think it's a guest bed night. That means she wants me to, you know, drive at home. Driving at home.

Yeah, that's our, so our kink is that we go have sex in our other bed. Me and Andy are way freaker in a hotel room. We don't, we've never thought about a lot. Me and Amber never have sex in hotels. Really? What? Dude, hotels are like... I'll let y'all get mine.

Y'all remember when, I think I talked about a podcast, but remember when I fucked my dick up a little bit? Yeah. That was because me and Katie were in New York in a hotel room and was just, you know. You fucked your dick broke? Yeah, you remember. Yeah, but I guess I didn't remember that it was from fucking. What else would it be from?

Yeah. Well, I mean, right. I feel like it had to be. Like, uh... I've turned a corner too quick, you know? Yeah. No, I had... What it actually ended up being was it was just like a very tiny,

laceration right inside of my urethra or whatever and buddy let me take something right now we're just turning into black christians that buddy let dog you don't want that you do not want that i can't imagine i don't want none of them an actual grievous injury like when you break one because it's just like well no i mean that too is horrible but like it's it's it's like a wound that you piss on all the time because that's where your piss comes from and it sucks and it hurts like a motherfucker. We don't have to move on generally, but I'd like to not talk about dick injuries at all.

Okay, I want to apologize to you, Trey, for losing that brisket. I think I already did, but it's clearly been a wound for you and I'm sorry. Well, no, that's the, to me in my head, that's the story that relates most to you eating like a dog. Yeah, I think I did try. I am wondering if I told you I tried it just so I didn't have to feel as guilty. I kind of feel like maybe, yeah. But I also feel like I did because I, I mean, remember that conversation but also my memory i don't know if it's it's partially co but the

pandemic fuck with my memory ability so i was wanting to talk about you brought this up earlier saying we should talk about it uh one specific song closing time but i've also looked up an article i was thinking i was thinking we could look we could maybe go over some songs that are not about the thing that people think they're about like that might be fun you know so charm kind of life yeah well i don't know we'll see what's on this list we could come up with any but so closing time i was telling drew julys last night and he said he didn't know although i thought we had talked about i think you probably told me before do you know what causing times about having kids right yeah it's about his kid being born which is neat and like if you

look it makes a song way better yeah if you look at the lyrics they don't all make sense and that way i read a thing he said he he made it ambiguous because he didn't think his bandmates would want to play a song about having a baby That's not, you know, it's not rock and roll or whatever. So, but like, in some of them are not, like, you know, finish your whiskey or beer or whatever. But some of the other lyrics, they work really well. I think finish your whiskey or beer. Finish up that placenta juice.

Well, just like we're not. You can't be that guy. We're not going to be drinking anymore. Like we're, you know, we got, I got to be a dad. I'm not partying right now. Especially she gets pregnant. You can't drink. Well, see, most of these.

Most of these. Most of these, I thought were from the, or from the. I did mean the man. I mean the man. too. No, you're right. I was reading them all from the perspective of

like the baby because it's like you don't have to go home but you can't stay here and like you gotta get up out of her Oh, I took that one her, what's it called? Womb?

Yeah, but what's the other word for it? Uterus. I thought you were like an Andy type word for it. I thought it was a hospital. Yeah, I thought it was the hospital too. I've honestly never thought about it right now. I also thought that he started the song with that intention

when you were explaining this to me last night, Trey, and then we're just coming up with ways that, you know. Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from. I think that's great when you know what it actually means. Closing time, this room won't be open to your brothers or your sisters come. That one's pretty obvious. And then the best line in the whole song, I think, when you know the real meaning of it,

it's such a rad line is closing time every new beginning comes from some other beginnings and it's a great fucking song it's a super great song and I know who I want to take me home you know it's one of them songs that like people are like

oh it's so overplayed and it's like because it's such a great song so do y'all have any off the top of your heads that fit this category before I just start looking through this list here pumped up kicks for sure yeah yeah yeah um songs that Most people don't know what they actually mean. Yeah.

Or that mean something, like, different than what people think they actually mean. But, yeah, the other one, too. Hey, yaw. Oki from Muscogee. Hey, yeah, is a good one. Yeah. Oki from Escoggi. I think I fall on the other side of that one.

On Oki? I don't think it's meant to be that ironic. I think it's a little bit ironic. You think that he just said that afterwards? I think that he's, like, writing from somebody else's perspective. Right. Yeah, I could see him being like he really did write that song. and then he saw how people were...

Were you elaborate a little bit for the people listening because they don't fuck with that? So, Oki from Muscogee, when Merle Haggard wrote it, basically those are not his opinions. Like, everybody kind of thought it was like, yeah, Merle Haggard, see, listen to Oki from Muskogee, this is how this guy feels. And it's like, what are the things he says in that song?

We don't smoke marijuana and Muskogee. And of course, that's probably true for Muskogee, but Merle Haggard clearly smoked marijuana, and he wasn't a type of dude that was in that song, like that fucking, that's a, a super mega-ass dumb fuck person in that song. And Merle Hagger wasn't that, and it kind of sort of became an anthem for those people. And there was reports of like

Merle Hagger being like, no, no, no, I wrote that song. Ironically, I just saw the sign Oakey for Muskogee and I was kind of making fun of that. But I, and with you, I could see him having really wrote it and then just saying that. Or like seeing that sign, making fun of it. But I don't think his intention was people to hear it and go, what a bunch of dumbasses for Musko. I think he just was writing a song where something else's perspective. Yeah, I just...

I've always thought that. You're probably right. Might not be a good example. Well, I'm sure I would lose that argument with Tyler Mayhancoe. I was saying... I can't... Everything I just said,

I either heard from Tyler Mayhancoe or I heard it on Tales from the Tour Bus. One of those two. The ones I always think of are, hey y'all, like you said. It's like, if you actually listen to the lyrics of hey y'all, it's very depressing and fucked up.

They're not like fucked up, but, you know, it's sad. It's very sad. And then the most famous one, I think, is every breath you take, which everybody thinks is like a love song. It's stalkery. People play it. It's not just stalkery. It's like full on about stalking and stalkers, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and I'm trying to think semi-charmed life is a good one because it's so poppy and upbeat. It's wild that semi-charmed life was ever even on the radio, in my opinion. They cut that one line every now and then. Yeah, but not always. I've heard it on the radio. I think they've heard it. You're talking about what,

doing crystal meth to lift you up until you break. Don't stop. Don't come down and stop. Give them to the, uh, I took the hit that I was given and I bumped again. Then I bumped up. I took the hit that I was given. Then I bumped again.

How do I get back to the place where I fell asleep inside you? How do I get myself back to the place where you said, I want something. And that whole thought, I want something else to get me through the other than the fucking meth I've been doing. Right. You're pretty hardcore. What's that? It sounds like a little bit of that, little bit of this.

Started with a kiss and now we're up to back. Michelle Branch. Knocking down the door of your candy store. It's a little bit of that, little bit of this. Started with a kiss and now we're something. All in the game of love. All in the game. That's Michelle Brent.

Yeah, Michelle Brand. Or Vanessa Carl. It's Michelle Branch. They're the same person to me. That man, I'm old and male. even thinking of at all. Okay. There's some song like that that's actually about rough sex.

Did you know 50 cents? I'll take you to the candy shop is not about candy. Get the fuck out of here. A lot of people don't know that? What's it about? Sex. Oh, okay. Magic stick?

Don't you dare tell me that that's not about a stick that's magic? It is. Okay, good. But it's his personal stick that's magic. So, you're not, that was a, wait, you got a list of some sort? Yeah. It wasn't Michelle Brand. Are you down?

Because I thought I was about such as this don't. It's not hard for you. No, it does it for me? I can't think of me more songs, though. And I'm trying to think it's more probably. I feel like you're going to hit me with like at least two where I'm like, fuck, I did know that and I think about it a lot. I haven't even looked through this list yet, so I don't know what's going to be on it,

but I'm not just going to sit here and read a list. I'll try to like. Oh, oh, I bet a lot of people, red ragtop by Tim McGraw. I bet a lot of people don't realize that's about abortion. It's absolutely about abortion. Dude, but that song is, that song's overt and explicitly about abortion. but my reasoning in saying that a lot of people didn't know that is because I don't think they would have played it on the radio. I agree with Corey.

They started playing it and everybody's like, I mean, I think that's it. Because, dude, I think, I think, I think, Fancy's over. It's wild to me that that song could ever be misinterpreted. But people didn't know Fancy was about a prostitute. And it's very clear. They just don't be listening. They just don't listen, dude. But I'm telling you, dude, they would have, if, if them people knew this song's about abortion, they wouldn't have fucking, a lot of them radio stations where I'm from wouldn't have played that shit.

Less popular. Band overall, though, they've definitely got, you know, a pretty big cult following, and I'm a huge fan of theirs. But, like, Alt J, they're all like, you know, you mean, that's a pretty good. Like, I know. Great live band. So good live. So good. Fucking awesome. Anyway, their lyrics are actually really fucked up. A lot of them are, like, real rapy and shit.

But apparently, apparently, they. They're about, the songs are about actual rapes. Crimes or rapes that they have committed. No, not that they're like, but anyway. Okay, let's take one more break to tell you about our long, long time friends. Over at Blue Chew, Fall is here, and we could all use a stiff breeze, baby. That's right. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew, guys, confidence can take you far in life.

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AltJ? Is it just like on a keyboard? It is and that does something. You push alt and then J and that does something on a computer and that's what it's named after or whatever. But I don't know why or how that. I wanted to make a wish. Yeah, go ahead. I can't.

It's not here. So according to Paul Simon, the song, You Can Call Me Al. Anybody got anything for that? Honestly, that's one of them songs that I definitely have never read listening. I always thought the lyrics where I always thought it was kind of like whimsically non-sense. sensical or something, you know, because he's like, you know, I mean, it's pretty overt, but he's like, you know, it's like, where's my family, where's my wife and family?

What if I die here? You remember that? Man walks down the street and, yeah, I can't remember all the years. I can't either because I was, I can be your long. I can be a lot. Chevy Chase is in the music video. Yep, yep.

Yeah, yeah. I can call you Betty and Betty when you can call me. Call me out. I can't get to that high. Good job. Call me out. Alt J makes a delta sign. Okay.

There you go. And that's their like logo. Which is a triangle. It's a triangle thing. So anyway, he says it's like it's about a guy wandering through a foreign country, totally out of money. His wife has left him.

He's hallucinating and is in a downward spiral. Is what Paul Simon says that song's about. Mbop by. Hanson. Oh, okay. They rule. They're fucking rule. I want to go see them.

Those kids are like at Cains. They play at Cains like a weekend every year and I want to go so bad at some point. Like they play like five shows. Yeah. Our friend of the show, Jennifer, flew from Chattanooga to Cains to see them and said it was fucking great. Hold on. So they're 11 at the time of the right. This, um, bop-dip-da-b-b-b-b-du.

We always go. do up by do. Yeah, yeah. When a umbop you gone. Right. Do you remember any of the lyrics besides like that? Because I didn't. Start me off.

I can. I can. I don't know. I mean, I can read you this one line, but I don't remember the melody of this part. But there's lines that it says, you have so many relationships in this life. Only one or two will last. You go through all the pain and strife. You turn your back and they're gone so fast. So it's about like...

It pops a flash. I guess. It says it's about the futility of life. Things are going to be gone eventually. Whether your age, your money, whatever, it will all go eventually. Yeah, I can hear it. Okay, right on. Them kids are fucking talented.

Dude, the fact that they haven't done some wild shit, you know what I mean? Like, you remember, and it's not the same as Bieber because, like, they definitely hit in the 90s, but they didn't sustain the Bieber shit. But, like, the fact that them 11, 12, and 13 year old really handsome dudes popped, were as famous they did. To play those songs. Not one of them has got like five DUIs. Like, they're all fucking fun.

I think it's because they stop being famous. Other than every breath you take, this I think is the most famous example of this. I thought of another one. Go ahead. Well, no, maybe you've got this one. Waterfalls by TLC. That, absolutely. Born in the USA by Bruce Brouss.

Oh, absolutely. He's played at all these Republican rallies. I don't know. People think it's a patriotic anthem, but it ain't at all. Did you see that video that one time of fucking Rascal Flats doing that song? And, like, first off... Did they change the lyrics? No, they didn't change the lyrics.

But, like, when they went to the part where he says, they put a rifle in my hand to go and kill the yellow man, they, like, stood it then and said, to go and kill the yellow man. And the whole crowd was like seeing it with him. It's like that's not, you're not supposed to emphasize that. That's not, Bruce Springsteen. That's so terrifying.

Bruce Springsteen was saying, this is a shit thing that the government did. Not, fuck yeah, go kill the yellow man. Dude, that's so terrifying to think about somebody taking what you do and turn it into that without actually technically changing anything. Because like, you know, jokes get misinterpreted and can be interpreted in any way people want and it happens all the time. Specifics of it by derailing anything. That one script I wrote.

with them other people that hit? Yeah. Do you know who I'm talking about? There's been a couple. That, the most recent one. That was the, this is what happened to him. That's what that was about.

It was the thing that kicked off the whole story. Hayes, remember Hayes? I think on our podcast he told us about, she left me for Jesus. He had to stop doing it. Wheeler. Wheeler had to stop being Wheeler. Yeah, but Hayes would,

he would stop doing it because that part where I say, even worse, she had a Jew, I'm obviously kidding, but the crowd would go scream it in a way that was like You're like, hey guys, come on now. I mean, Wheeler would have people come up to him and be like, I know you're at you, but that's okay, buddy. Oh, God.

So insane. Fucking. He just got married. You're beautiful. I congrats, buddy. You're beautiful by James Blunt is also a stalker song, apparently. Yeah, well, I mean, according to you guys to hear that guy. He sucks.

All right. I don't remember anything other than that song. I don't anything that only had, but he was an asshole, too. He got, he did one song and then kept getting trouble for being a dick, getting really hammered and like, but getting handsy with people. What was that other song he had? I don't remember any other song other than that one. It was, it was fucking, it was another song they had because there's a funny ass scene in the office where Jan breaks up with Michael and he's in his office crying and he starts playing that song and he's just sitting there crying and he's just sitting there crying and he's just clicking the free preview of the song because he didn't want to buy the song.

But he just kept going over. It was James Blunt. But yeah, that dude, like that, you're beautiful. It's true. Yeah. So I saw your face in a crowded space. I keep getting James Blunt confused with that guy that hits. He's got a similar name.

James Blunt's not an asshole? I can't mistake. No, no, no. He's an asshole and he don't hit. That was just funny to me, but you're like, I always get him confused with somebody who actually hits. Kendrick Lamar had that song, Kings Dead. And on King's Dead, there's a British dude who sang,

I've got to find it. I think it's James, so I'm. Give me a second. This one is a famous example, but in the other direction. James Blake. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm sure you guys have heard the,

you've heard the thing about Phil Collins in the air tonight. You know, in the air tonight. You know what the story is supposed to be? He saw a guy drowning or something? So he saw someone see someone drowning in that? See, here's what I never really... Like, why didn't you do anything?

Exactly. That's what I never understood about the supposed... So apparently that's all an urban legend and none of that's true. That's never what he meant the song to be about. And he's quoted as saying that's not what the song is about. He says it's about divorce. Anyway, but...

I've watched a man go through a divorce. But the rumor, you know, or whatever, the urban legend was always that he apparently watched some other dude allow a man to drown and didn't do anything about it. Like you said, he's like up on a bridge. I thought he was in his hotel room. And he's watching this guy on a beach. I always thought he was in his hotel room.

and you couldn't do anything then. You could go call 911. Yeah, right. But anyway, apparently now that's true, but 9-1-1 can't keep anybody from drowning. The urban legend, the urban legend. I don't think that's illegal.

I don't think you have to save somebody from drowning. And like the Good Samaritan Law or something like that, except it in reverse? Well, I think that's the name of it, right? It is. But that's not, but that's what it means. That's the finale of Seinfeld. That's how they see a big fat guy getting mugged,

and instead of helping him, they're just all roasting him for being fat and it's on camera. This ain't, there was a woman, a very famous case of a woman who got like either raped and or murdered or something like that in front of like a bunch of people and nobody did anything about it. Allegedly that just happened. There was a law made about that, about that incident. There's a phenomenon. Named after her. I can't remember what it is. So allegedly that just happened on a train in Philly.

A woman was unfortunately assaulted. and raped. And the cops are saying that seemingly a lot of people were there and they have no record of them calling the police and maybe some of them filmed it. However, the journalist was writing what it's, they've only checked with one 911. I don't know what's the word I'm looking for. Dispatcher. Dispatcher.

But they were like, but this is a moving train. It could have been a different county that got the call. Well, there's a phenomenon that's about like a bunch of people see something happen. and nobody calls and it's the the diffusion of responsibility everybody like everybody's like somebody will do something i think but everybody thinks there's a all the time when like i'll just be a fucking dick and like i will we'll get a group email or whatever and i'll be like try or drill respond that and then like i think sometimes all of us it happened today yeah but a big difference of that the one that i'm talking about today i don't think it's my responsibility to reply to but i know what you mean regardless you know what i'm saying like yeah everyone assumes someone i don't think it's yawes i think it's our management and nobody fucking does, but like,

I'm so guilty of that, like, all the time just being like, yeah, well, like, somebody else is fucking do that. Slightly different, but similar thing. I would not let a woman get raped. There's a study. I'm not bragging. I don't have that in me.

There's, like, countless examples in my life where I just, like, freak out about whatever it is, whether it's danger to me or other people. Like, y'all have to know the story where me and DJ Dre and Andy were at a music festival and they tried to close me in with the fence and everybody just stopped and I freaked out

and started kicking down the fence. I have verbally attacked police officers numerous times for fucking with homeless people. I'm just too stupid, but there's a study, I don't know if it's new, I just saw a video of it where people are alone in a room,

like a waiting room, and then they release smoke under a door just from a smoke machine, and they freak out. But if people are in the waiting room with a bunch of people and no one else reacts to it, then the one person sits there for like a long amount of time,

90% of the time. Yeah, dude. Doing that being like, I don't want to be the dumb motherfucker. One time, back in the day, MCN at Sidespliers one weekend for Leanne Morgan, Maripak. There was a, the fucking fire alarm went off.

It malfunctioned. But nobody knew it malfunctioned. The fire alarm went off and that no one, no one got up. They all just, everybody assumed. It was packed too. and they all, everybody just sat in there.

I had to go up there and tell them, I guess it's a procedure or something. I think they had to get them. They had to walk out. That don't make no sense. Yeah, so I did it in school, single file. I feel like that is what happened, though. But I had to go up and, like, address them on the stage because they were all just, like, sitting there. Everybody is this is bullshit.

I think it's because we've all heard so many alarms, not be right. Yeah. The alarm that called crowd wolf. Yeah. But I'm not, again, I'm not even trying to brag. I'm 99% sure. I would have been like, hey, there's fucking smoke coming in here.

Yeah, I know you would have. And that's not a day. Like, I know for a fact. And I would have been the dumb ass that was sitting there. Like, oh my God, I wouldn't pay attention. Somebody definitely came in here and said, don't be alarmed. There's fucking smoke here.

And I didn't hear it. And I'm going to be the fucking dumb fuck. I'm very, I don't know if I'd say anything. Because they can all see, unless there's somebody blind in there, we can all see the smoke. Yeah.

But like, if smoke started, if I was sitting in the waiting room and smoke started coming in. under a door, I would fucking leave. Yeah. I think I like talking about it. I'd be like, hey, I like being right.

I honestly God, it would take you down the whole room before I would even notice it because when I'm in the waiting. Yeah, I might not notice it. That would be hilarious if there's a video of somebody on that study who just didn't know. Yeah. I could be on my phone at my headphones in or something. Dude, I could totally say myself doing that.

I read comic books when I'm in the waiting room and like I'm fucking in it. So like, yeah, I definitely would be fucking oblivious. This one is funny to me. Jump by Van Halen. Yeah. That's not about jumping? Jump. Yeah, right.

That's not about jumping. Because it does. Seems like that sounds about jumping. They mainly talk about jumping. That's pretty much what they say. Yeah, might as well jump. So why don't you just go ahead. Go ahead and jump.

So listen to this quote. Listen this quote from David Lee Roth. Hey, direct quote. I was watching television one night and it was the 5 o'clock news. Listen to this. And there was a fellow standing on top of the art. co towers in Los Angeles.

He was about to check out early. He was going to do the 33 stories drop. There was a whole crowd of people in the parking lot downstairs yelling, don't jump, don't jump. And I thought to myself, jump. So I wrote it down and ultimately made it onto the record. That's amazing.

Live your dream, dude. Everybody said, don't jump. And he's like, and I thought, no. Kill yourself. Dude, I hate being the person who says things like, oh, you know, it was a different time. You couldn't do that nowadays. But for real, if a songwriter nowadays wrote that song and said they were inspired by watching

a man almost killed himself and they thought, I wish he'd have jumped or whatever. Dude, they'd get raked over the fucking colds so goddamn bad. That's hilarious, though. 100%. Yeah. That's kind of fucked up. Now, was I right about waterfalls? Because I remember people not knowing what it was.

It's about AIDS. And then when everybody found out it was about AIDS freaking out. But maybe that was just because our parents don't be listening to our music. Maybe it wasn't like. misinterpreted as much as our parents just didn't know. Didn't the video kind of make that clear, I think? They were in front of waterfalls and then they became like liquid holograms. Yeah, but there was other.

It was on crazy sexy cool, right? There were cut scenes, yeah. It was awesome. That was awesome. That's a masterpiece. Listen to this one. I don't know if you get away with this. I mean, I seen a rainbow yesterday, but too many still omzy.

I don't know if the, like, tell me what y'all think about this. Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp. It's not that happy. Very straightforward. Well, according to Malencamp, Jack is a black guy. Isn't that hilarious or something? Because, like, there's nothing to indicate that.

It's like, it's like, so bullshit. When Jack K. Rally said Dumbledore was gay the whole time or whatever. And it's like, maybe he was. Well, at least Dumbledore never had a woman around. You know what I mean? Like, I could see that. But, like, Jack, it's just at what point in this song?

I got to look these lyrics up. Sucking on the Chilli Dog, outside the test freeze. I mean, like, Obviously a black guy can do that. But like, what about it? Is he just saying, oh yeah, and he happens to be black? Or was he trying to make some sort of political statement? Well, this ain't, I guess.

So, and this don't hit classic record company bullshit, I guess, especially in the early 80s. He had a whole fourth verse. He had, he apparently had a whole, he had lyrics that explicitly spelled out that Jack was black. And the record label made him cut those lyrics. Well, damn. So, oh, no, I got to meet you. Joe Dad. Like that shit.

What was it? No, he don't. Bet when she sees me, your mom's going to be sad. What about this? This is your boy show. Margaritaville. Oh, dude, honestly, I've just always assumed that one was pretty straightforward. Or I just was like, I bet my man is just so smart he wrote this in order to, because he just knew it was going to be a paycheck.

The song's narrator isn't on vacation. but rather wasting away in a beach resort community. Getting tattoos he doesn't remember, looking for lost salt shakers and drinking in endless cocktails to help him hang on. I think that's very clear. Is he aimless and depressed because of a failed relationship? It sure seems like it. And as the song unfolds, he goes from insisting,

it's nobody's fault to. Hell, it could be my fault to finally, it's my own damn fault. I want to know whoever is writing is what they think people think the songs about because I think everybody knows that. well I mean I just thought it was just Jimmy Buffett wrote a beach song I've never really listened to it deeply at all but I thought it was just like a beach song

knowing Jimmy Buffett and loving him like I do like I definitely buy that because Jimmy Buffett has some really great songs so it makes sense to me that like you know one of his more just commercially popular songs he had something else in mind for it but like yeah I definitely thought it was just like hey Jimmy Buffett was drunk probably just wrecked a plane

and you know I think almost all his songs are deep dude listen we've talked about it yeah i was going to be like are you fucking serious right now because i thought you'd shit on me for jimmy buffett but you have you've definitely expounded on i have jimmy buffin on here before i ain't ever shit on jimmy buffin no listen i didn't shit on jimmy buffin okay good it was our fans i know that they shit on him all the time i remember i remember the conversation i asked y'all on here if you had any like uh like guilty pleasure and i said well i don't really i don't feel guilty about it

but my answer is Jimmy Buffett and then you started talking about how much he is for you. That's what brought up. I might have said that like I think parrot heads are ridiculous and I do. They are. So. Or made fun of you for going to the concert. What about this? Macho man.

I didn't mean it. Macho man by the village people. Oh. Yeah. Sucking dicks. So. I've got to pretend to be a macho man. When you think of the village people saw Macho man, two words that probably don't come to mind are dark and serious.

But that's apparently what the songwriters have. Apparently what the songwriters had in mind, according to David Hodo, otherwise known as the construction worker. Quote, at the time, macho had been banned from the English language by the feminist movement. And then the article writer says, we don't remember that being the case, but whatever. Some people had fears that masculinity was under attack, and the world needed a song championing men. And who matter? Yeah, exactly. Right.

Yeah. When the producers pulled us together to do this, they wanted this whole thing to be very serious. It was going to be very dark and very serious.

Luckily, the village people decided there's no way we can do this seriously and ended up recording the campy, lighthearted version of that. The village people decided that. This is too dumb.

When you listen to the song, I leave the hard hat on. Remember that lyrics like, every man ought to be a macho, macho man. To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand. were meant without a hint of irony.

And that's really funny. That's rich as hell. Hey, when you get up there in them Daisy Dukes dancing in girl cowboy boots, mean it. I got to give it up to the village people because like it was meant to be totally unironic and they realized like this is the most ridiculous shit in the world. But did they write it or did somebody just give it to them? It was written by some Frenchmen trying to be macho. Of course, dude. The French are misogynistic.

99 luf balloons. Oh, that's about, oh, shit. What? I did used to know this. The German, the... I don't know this song. I don't know this song. You don't know 90-9.

Wait, keep going. Un-na-Svian. I speak German. Dude, I don't think I knew a single lyric of that song till right now. I know the one you're talking about. Now they eat ass and old meat. Now they eat ass and old meat. Oh yeah, dude.

They eat old meat out of an ass. Absolutely. What is it about? What the fuck? Wait, but this isn't misinterpreted. It's in a different fucking language. But they have an American version. The one that was like a hit here was in English.

They made an English version. Because it's 99 red balloons. Oh, yeah. Yeah, red balloons. It was inspired by something. lead singer Gabriel Kerner witnessed at a Rolling Stones concert in West Berlin. Mick Jagger released thousands of balloons at the end of the concert. They were picked up by the wind and carried over the Berlin wall into East Berlin.

You could see how that's poignant or whatever. Says, I'll never forget that message. And then she and guitarist, lyricist, Carlo Cargis, imagined what might happen if the balloons were mistaken for UFOs, which then led to various countries shooting missiles. at each other and inevitably a full-on nuclear war. So 99 Luft Balloons is about nuclear devastation

caused by balloons released into the sky by Nick Jagger. How about that? Did not see that coming. No, me neither. I don't think that's like, it's misinterpreted. I think it's just like, nobody knows what this song's about.

Nobody knows this backstores how the fuck would they possibly get there. Yeah, right, exactly. Like, there's definitely a lot of John Prime songs that, like... Some of these, though, are not like that. Some of these are... like a lot of these are examples you could see.

Oh, right. That's what I'm saying. Like you're like, oh, yeah, okay. But yes, some of them I agree with you. And also sometimes it's just like, don't you think, because I know for a fact,

Todd Snyder does this, because he talks about it in his show and I've seen examples of it. Like, he'll get interviewed by Rowan Stone, they'll ask him about a song, and he will go into this full explanation about what the song's about. And then like two years later,

he'll be interviewed by a variety about the same song, and he will give a completely fucking different story. He also does more drugs. than Keith Richards. He says on stage, though, that he does that shit on purpose. He just, yeah, making it up. It was fun.

It was way more fun than to talk about whatever. I've been to show where he described a song he was doing and why he wrote it, and it was completely different than the last time. I think maybe we've talked about this one before, off podcast. What about All Star by Smash Mouth? Yeah. What's it about?

We have talked about this, and it is, Hey, now you're not. Well, it's a cold place. It's about global warming. It's about global warming. Oh, but there are other songs about global warming. It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now, wait till you get older.

The media man begs to differ. Judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm, so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it, and I never get bored. But walking on the sun was also about that.

We did talk about this in the podcast because we were like, holy shit. That guy is like low-key, really. Who is it? Who's the band? Smash-mouth. That's what I thought. Shout out to my man. He's going through some shit right now.

Now, but he didn't like say any slurs or anything. He just was like, fuck everybody here. He did say, I'll kill your whole fucking family, I swear to God. We don't know what they did. He didn't say because they're black. Exactly. And, Trey, what happened to you tonight on stage? By the way, side note, real quick, if you listen to the podcast and you come to a show,

don't talk during the show. Don't talk in support. Don't say. Even in support. Amen, good job. Because if it's quiet enough in there when you say it, that's distracting. And look, we love our fans, and we do know that some of y'all, like, we've had a So many people tell us, y'all are the only comedy show I've ever been to,

so it's possible that you just don't know how to behave at one. But yeah, in the middle of a setup, you're not supposed to look at the fucking comedian and go, I've been there. Yes, I agree with all that shit, yada, yada, yada. My favorite thing that the smash-mouth guy said when he was in his tirade, do you remember what he said? I will when you say it. He goes, he was sitting there, and the feedback from the guitar was horrible,

and he was clearly hammered. And he was looking around the crowd, and he just goes, if I could suck my fucking dick, I wouldn't be here right now. Yeah. I'd never leave the house. I'd never leave the house. If I could summon dig, I'd never leave the house. Isn't that a bit?

I'd never leave the house. Isn't that an old bit? It's like an old, yeah. But it's about Marilyn Manson. I know that we're joking. He clearly has some mental issues and we don't mean to make a lot of it. He fucking quit the band.

I hope he gets better. I don't mind stealing. Tray didn't know. Temple of the dog. That blew my mind hunger strike. I think everybody knew what that one was about. It was about going hungry. It was about going hungry.

I don't mind. stealing bread from the mouths of decadents. Speaking of stealing bread, I'm kind of fucking hungry. Me too. I don't know what's up with this. Well, we're going to leave. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute.

Let me just read a couple more. Losing my religion by R.A.M. What's that about? Is that about losing your religion? According to Michael Stipe, it's an old southern saying, the same as being at the end of your rope or reaching the final straw and snapping. I think I did know that, but I thought he was doing a double entendon. like because he fell in love with a dude so he's got to let go of his religion is that stupid no i can say that like i'm not a christian anymore because i want to suck dick and i'm not going to let me uh what

what what what what is rich girl about the rich girl hold on hold on before we move on that's me in the corner that's me in the spotlight losing my religion trying to keep up with you and i don't know if i can do it don't know i've said too much i haven't said enough i just i've very thought it was about him falling in love yeah that sounds like him coming out i'm choosing my confessions trying to keep an eye on you, well, I don't know. Maybe I'm just not supposed to tell a gay man what his songs are about.

Did you ever think of that, Drew? I don't know. It doesn't say anything about that. I'm fucking love R.A.N. Rich Girl by Holland Oates, this may be the most shocking revelation on this list. My God. The rich girl and the...

Is it number one? No, they don't... I hate it when they do that shit. They put it number one if it's the most. The rich girl in the Holland Oats song, Rich Girl, was in fact, a man. That's right. It was written about a guy

who was the heir to a fast food fortune. Chicken Boy. Way before his time, but a chicken boy type. That's not a misinterpretation. Obviously. That's just they wanted to make the song about this person, but it's catchier to do Rich Girl, right? And so they did that.

It's a guy whose dad owned 15 KFC franchises. Are you for real? Are you shitting us? A actual chicken boy? Chicken boy, yeah. Man, Hall, Oats, and Cho hate chicken boys. I fucking love hauling oats. Have I ever told you.

Oh, dude, Holland Outs rules. I guarantee you on your Peloton, you fuck with them a lot. Fuck yeah, buddy. Hollow notes and R&M, too. R&M fucking rules, man. Oh, dude, absolutely R&M rules. But I feel like... My buddy Ben, who's the smartest person to know, it's his favorite band.

People give them their flowers, though. I mean, they do hollow notes too, but people are like, oh, hollow notes that cheesy. Not like, yes, of course they are, but like, dude, banger, banger, banger, banger, all of them, they're fucking tremendous. Also, you could rap over every one of their beats, in my opinion. And I'm sure some rappers have. Yeah, that would be a...

Yeah. Dude, tell me, for real, though, because there's certain. songs like this that like as many times they're played you're always putting you a good mood. If you, if I was feeling sad and you played rich girl, I'd be like I couldn't help it. Like I could be at my dad's funeral and I still would just be like, okay, fuck, you got me.

Or if they change it to rich girl primarily because he's a rich boy sounds stupid. Rich guy. And you want to sing about girl. Well, coming from a man. Yeah. You know. Oh, it's a bitch girl. Yeah. I think it's because a man rapping about a rich guy.

It's like, there's something toxic masculinity, you want to allow that. Oh, you're complaining about a rich guy? I want to say they're a boy band. They're not, but like, that's, there was there, you sang to women, you know what I mean? Like, it's a hit's harder. It's a rich boy.

You know what I mean? Like singing about a rich boy and complaining about him? Pretty gay. Not arguing with the logic. I was just... Do you think that's why? He just said just everything about it, just sounded and played better to make it about a girl.

Yeah. All right, well, we can go now. Okay. I'm sorry. I just thought you were looking for your sandwich. I thought you were looking at your sandwich. I didn't know you were still wanting to go. I wasn't being like, fuck this bit.

I thought you were like, it was about to be food. Bet, don't hurt for you. Get us out of here. Bit didn't hit for me. All right. He thought the bit didn't hit for me like 30 minutes ago. Hey, what you can do to come see us on the road and not heckle us is go to well-read comedy. That is W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com.

We are currently in D.C. It's been very fun. Thank you to everybody. who has come out in D.C. Off this weekend. And then next time we'll be on the road, we're going to be in Seattle, and then we're going to be in Spokane,

and then we're going to Lexington, Kentucky, then we're going to Charlotte, North Carolina. Now we're going to be in Naples, Florida. Am I missing one here? New Orleans. December 3rd, yeah. Naples, Florida. We're rounding out the year

with our Christmas shows at Zanis, which is going to be a fun time. We can't tell you exactly what, but we do have something special planning for those shows. So you should come, get to tickets now, know one show is like pretty much virtually sold out. So grab them at well-readcom.

Also, thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Oh, wait. I thought of another one. Okay. Cornbread and butt sex. That's true. It's very misinterpreted about people.

But I don't want to tell people what it's really about. No, you'll never know. Thank you. Wait, no. Tune in next week, if you got nothing to do. Thank you, God bless you. Good night. Ew doggie.

They're the... They're the... They're all red necks. They like cornbread, but sex. They care way too much, but don't give a fun. Next that makes some people upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can suck.