wellRED podcast - #246 - Sally Field Vs. Pierce Brosnan...Who's Hotter??

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

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It's the dates portion of the well read podcast with your boy, Corey Ryan Forster. First off, I'd like to thank each and every one of you that came out to the shows in Seattle this weekend and also Spokane. this weekend. It was truly something else, man. It was great shows all around. If you were in Seattle, you know that my ass was late getting there because I had a little flight delay and I had to literally run straight from the airport to the cab and straight from the cab to on stage. So thank you for being patient with us. But from what I hear, y'all got a hell of a show from the boys beforehand doing some improv stuff stalling while my ass got there. And Spokane, man, what a delight. It's been forever since we've been there. They redid the club. It's just,

It was unreal, man. One of the best clubs in the country now, man. Just tremendous. If you live in Spokane, you should go all the time, even if you missed our show. And also, a wild thing, I saw so many people in the airport on my way home yesterday that flew from various parts of the country to see us in Spokane, which was insane and awesome.

And I don't know, that's weird. Maybe we're just, maybe we're just stupid, and I know that we are, but we all three talked about it. We're like, why the fuck would anybody on earth fly to see us? But there were. There were people from literally all over flying to Spokane to see us. So, hey, that's awesome. Hey, if we're going to be in your area, though,

this is the dates portion of the Well-Red podcast. If we're going to be in your area, you can find those tickets at well-readcom. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com. Sorry, I'm out of breath. Yeah, go there. and here's where we're going to be in the next little bit this weekend. We're going to be in Lexington, Kentucky, November 12th through the 13th, November 19th through 21st. We're in Charlotte, North Carolina, December 3rd, New Orleans, Louisiana, December 11th, which is my birthday through the 12th.

We're going to be in Naples, Florida. December 16th through the 19th, we're going to be in Nashville, Tennessee. Those are going to be very special shows. I'm not allowed to tell you what we're doing, but they're going to be real special. So if you've ever wanted to see us and maybe we're not coming to your show, town and you did think maybe I'll fly to a show. Nashville would be the one. There are homecoming shows.

Not that we don't give our all in every city. Of course we do. But Nashville is our homecoming shows. We do them at the end of every year. There is something maybe a little more special about them. And again, this year there'll be extra special if I'm not being coded enough. Really special shows to come out, get your tickets. See us at Zanis.

Wellredcom. Then early 2022, we've got Chicago, Illinois. Omaha, Nebraska, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Knoxville, Tennessee, Little Rock, Arkansas, Bentonville, Arkansas, and Portland, Oregon. And those are just the dates that we have listed so far. That doesn't mean we're not coming to your city. Okay?

I promise it does not mean that. There's a lot of days in the year. Logistics have been crazy. We see messages all the time. People are like, oh, cool, you're just skipping Memphis. You don't give a shit about us. It's like, yes, we do. Of course we do.

You all won't believe this, but with how the world is nowadays, logistics are just crazy. I always say this to people. If we've been in your city a lot before, we're probably coming back. You know, it's just we don't really get to control all that. But sign up for the newsletter at well-read comedy.com. And you'll know before, sincerely, I know. You'll know before I know that we're coming to your city. Because somebody informed me, by the way, that we were coming to Portland.

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And here's the show. Thank you, buttercream drink. You're welcome, Corey. Now don't fly it in a case your time. May that. Are we here? Yeah, here we are. Lovely Spokane, Washington.

Scenic, where it's the first day after falling back. Time changed last night, so it's like 5.30-ish Pacific time, and it's dark as it's fully completely dark outside. I think I thought that... I thought the further north, too. I know, but I thought the further north you would get the lights more because... Bon and winter. In the same.

It's the opposite. In the summertime, it gets dark later, and in the wintertime, it gets dark earlier, I guess. Okay. I think it's, all right. I told you before Drew walked in that it felt really holiday right now. I think it's also because we got some, like, sort of light situation going on out here. But, like, when I got out of the shower, I was in such a good mode because of the chill in the air,

how dark it is right now, the lights out there, because I'm a huge Christmas dude. Yeah, me too. Like, I think, I get so. And obviously, look, man. know, teach their own however you want your personality to be, it's fine. But to me, people who shit on people who love Christmas so much are more annoying than people who just love Christmas way too much. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I do know there's people that are way hardcore and they're super intense about Christmas and like I get that that can be a little much. But to me, people who take time out of their day to shit on that person who's clearly just having joy is just, it's boring to me. And I'm close to one of them fucking Clark Griswold's. Like, I almost could be that. I fucking love Christmas, and I want to ask you all this since you've been known about church stuff more. Is it like a thing that, like, would that not, would that theoretically not hit for the Jesusy persuasion?

The Santa stuff? No, the fact that somebody like me, like, am I allowed to be into Christmas? Oh, yeah. And be like, yeah, because it's like a gateway for you. The Lord don't hit. way. So they would encourage it. Well, here's the thing.

Because I don't care about the Christ part at all. As long as you keep... But they would... Xmas super hits for me, you know. They hate... The part they hate about you has nothing to do with that. For sure. But if you're...

There's a huge Keep Christ in Christmas campaign and aspect to that culture. Yeah. But the idea that you like it and that you like it for like positive or sweet reasons is, as Corey said, that they'd be into that like, oh, that's good. That means the light of Jesus is still in the whole day. He's not completely lost. We've got him.

You know what I mean? And to them, it's just like, you know how they do with like anything Christian is also inherently American. For sure. To them. Right. So I think, too, with a lot of them. Because that's really what it is. And they are so intertwined.

Like Christmas being Christian and it also being the number one without question, biggest event in capitalism is not really a coincidence for how those people's like ideals sort of Venn diagram and shit. So the fact that you love Christmas, they know that you are participating in the most important aspect of Christ, which is consumerism. You know what I'm saying? So like, you're still good. You're okay.

I do think that there is, and I think this is probably why you were asking, you sense this, you know, that whole keep Christ and Christmas thing. You say the wrong thing. Like if you were on a debate panel with one of them and you said the wrong thing, you would get a very,

and this is why, see, that's what happens when you take Christ out of it. It becomes consumerism. or whatever. Ironically, like they will use the consumerism even though they're

a huge part of it, arguably one of the biggest parts of it, they will use that as an example of why, you know, we need to put Christ back in things.

But y'all having grown up in the church and I don't know how much, Drew, you like really fuck with Christmas, but you fucking love Christmas as by having left the church.

It never had anything to do with the church for us. I was very much love Christmas. I was about to ask, like, I would think that if you're in a, a church household or that Christmas,

Christmas was never very Jesusy for me. It's not the fact that it was Christmas, I would have thought that it would be for people who fuck with Jesus, that the Christ part of Christmas would be ratcheted way up. At our household it wasn't, but I will tell you this, like, sincerely, the only time as a kid that I genuinely looked forward to go into church, aside from Vacation Bible School, because vacation Bible school was like, yeah, you learn about God and stuff like that.

But like you're really just with your buddies and there's like you play four square. There's cookies. Even though, obviously, y'all had off-brand Oreos, right? Didn't it make you so goddamn mad? No, because you could eat 10 of them and nobody would get mad at you. Yeah, I guess that's true. If you ate 10 Oreos, your mom would be like, don't waste all the good cookies. It just always made me so mad because we were a church of like 200 and they spent so much money on a projector that 200 people did not need in order to enjoy the church service.

but then come vacation Bible schools. We can't get goddamn name brand cookies. That's because two different people was in charge of the business. It was Miss McNish. God bless her. There's a bunch of different off-brand Oreos, obviously, and I think they're good. They were good. I always remember, I don't know.

It's what they're still called this. I'm also not a hundred percent sure where they were from. Either like the Save a Lot brand or like the Dollar General brand or something like that. I remember was called double-chocolty white walls, which I always thought was real funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like, they do look like whitewall. yeah but the wall like is reverse it is reverse yeah the walls are chocolate right yeah the walls are not white walls walls walls of jericho church that's what we're talking about

was oh wait chocolatey white walls is what they were called but if you hold one up flat way and but slightly at an angle and you can see that white ring it looks like a white well white well tire yeah that's true oh wait what what white wall are y'all talking about no white wall sure but i just feel like yeah but if you orient it the way you would orient a tire. No, no, we don't orient at vacation Bible school. But you know, you don't see the white at all. Right, but you angle it slightly and you see it. The only thing in vacation Bible school where that is true.

But I loved hanging out. I love vacation Bible school, obviously, because that was pretty much just like Tuesday night activities, but all week, you know. But my other favorite time to go to church, and the only time I genuinely look forward to it was church, Christmas at church. Like it was cool. Like all the, they would do Christmas songs like the choir.

And we had a fucking bananas good choir. For a church of 200, meaning there's not a big, huge talent pool to dip from. Our choir was amazing. And Robbie's mom is one of the greatest pianists of our generation, of her generation. Didn't she retire? She did retire.

She did retire. But she did retire. But she, She was tremendous. My mom was a wonderful, my mom has a great singing voice, and they would do Christmas songs. You know what I mean? The choir, it was great. And there was, what are those flowers, the red ones?

Poinsettas. There was poinsettas everywhere. Everybody got a bag of goodies. Goodies. There was cookies and shit like that. Like, it was just, yeah, it was absolutely tremendous. The kids put on a play. Red and green is a great aesthetic for me, you know?

I got to say, I mean, the truth is I don't really hate Christ. I hate Christians or a lot of them. not all of them. Sure. Yeah, Christ isn't real. So, like, Christmas, I still like it. Like, going back there. Like, yeah.

I had a joke. Oh, you mean going to church? Yeah, I had a joke on our house about trying to get away from my parents because you've got to go to church. It seems like around Christmas, like, every other day. There's like a play, and then there's a singing, and then there's, if the 25th happens to fall not on a Sunday, then you got to go then to. Dude, that's like the super.

If that happens, that's the Super Bowl of Church. So me and Andy escaped to her parents, and then we got to. there and unbeknownst to us they were also having a Christmas play that same night so like that part annoys me a little bit but like I genuinely like going to church at Christmas I like all the goodies I like the mood to everyone's in I like the cookies I like the play because it's kids and it's silly you know what I mean and there's like three to five who don't want to be in it they're reading their lines like Paul Rudd and went hot American summer just and then Jesus came and he was born in a manger and lo and behold, three wise rules.

I love all that. I'm too all sorts of goddum to know for sure if this is all of them or not. But I know that at least my high school girlfriend and her family was Catholic, which is very rare in Salana, but there is a Catholic church there. They do a midnight mass. Yeah. And it's either Christmas Eve or Christmas night, one of the two. Probably Eve right at the start of Christmas.

Yeah, probably. And that always felt like it really. really didn't hit to me. Yeah. I have to go to church at midnight. You can drink wine, though. Yeah, the Catholics, I went one year with her and that was my first exposure to Catholicism at all and, you know, it was wild as hell to me.

It's very, like, it's very, very ritualistic. It's very, very, very ritualistic. And it was like, that was when I was already out of the church, like, the, you know, regular old churches that we had, like, that I had. They sing everything too. Yeah, so, like, I was already, I was already not going to. church but I was just really starting to kind of hit my stride about hating the Lord. Yeah.

And I feel like going to that midnight mass was the worst thing you could have done for that. Yeah, or the best. But right, for sure. Because going to that, I remember it was a thing that was like, oh, man, this definitely doesn't have it. This shit is fucking weird. Yeah, I remember being at my first Catholic wedding. And again, I'm not shitting on our Catholic fans out there. Like, it was fine.

But I remember it just being like understanding how loose. service was compared to theirs. Like, there's this very ritualistic. They literally sing, they're like, they'll even, like, almost sing announcements and stuff, you know, like, everything is kind of in the singing cadence, and I just always thought, like, if that was... Is Arkelly Catholic?

I think so. That's how it goes. So how Arkelly does that? And I always thought, like, if it was... He famously sings everything he says. And if that was at a Baptist church, it would have been like... That makes more sense, I guess.

They're doing the songs, and then the pastor's just like, and Miss Becky brought them. casserole to humpcoming. Catholics don't do that. Yes, they do. At the wedding. Oh, at a wedding? Yeah, like everything was, they sang everything.

Yeah, but I think it's like regimented. It is, that's what I'm saying. But that sounded like they were improvident, the way you did that. No, the way I did it was. Oh, and by the way, but he brought the cassero. I said that's how it would go if a Baptist church did it. Right, well, this is what R. Kelly was doing. Yeah.

So, like, the Catholic stuff sang everything, but it's all pre-written. Yes, yes, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought you were, the way you did it, I thought it was like not a pre-written thing. And what R. Kelly does at Black Churches, it's similar to the Catholic thing, but it ain't pre-written. Right. They just be saying an improv. Yeah, yeah.

Sorry to put you on the spot like this, but are they like, um. Oh, I love R. Kelly. Is that what you're about to get, get out? Bible stories or something. About keeping women locked in the basement? Yeah, it was so many. Yeah. Always come up around Christmas time.

Jesus. That I might not know about. Jesus being born. No, they pretty much play the history. It's like you know the greatest story ever told. It's pretty much a month of that, you know. Breaking bad. Yeah, right?

Yeah, exactly. The pine barons, soprano? What are you talking about? Okay. Well, what about since I brought this up? Because I don't think we were covered it. The three kings. The three kings make an appearance for a month

and then no one ever talks about them again. The wise men. Yeah, and there's like songs about them. We three kings from Oriental tar. Travel so far to get a cigar. Holy shit Sucking Wieners Eating butt holes

We love this baby Y'all just made You all just made something Three Kings the movie makes sense Yeah I love that movie And I watch that movie They're after the gold

They do that For the record I still haven't seen that But you know what I'm talking about They do a thing Because I want to see it And I've read up on it Do a thing in that movie We three kings

Be stealing the gold or whatever It's like And I always thought it was just like A cool thing they were doing I mean it was I didn't I never realized that it was a play off of that thing y'all just did.

I've never heard that before until just now. Yeah, that's neat. Yeah. Yeah, you did watch that movie. I know, I know. It's been on my, it's on my, like, as soon as you, in fact, motherfucker I'm watching as soon as I get home. I've been on a movie tear.

That's one of my favorite religious songs. Yeah, man, I love the Christmas shit. Like, dude, there's, I mean, me and you've talked about this, and I know that he's just like, whatever, but like, buddy, there's some hymns that I genuinely love so much. I sing them, like, in the shower sometimes. Like, I love. love gospel music.

Well, you can have Southern people creating an entire culture with art, rituals, songs, et cetera, and some of it not. Right. But I'm saying like gospel hymns do hit. Christian music, like praise music sucks. I don't even know the difference. I don't even know the difference. But I know that like Daily and Vincent, you know, the bluegrass duo or whatever, they obviously do gospel songs or whatever.

That's where a lot of my love of it comes from. And they got some that like hip for me. Like there's one called By the Mark. Yeah. By the mark where I will know my Savior. By the mark where the nails have been or something like that. Well, also. But of course, those dudes just slay.

Well, I know, but one of the most popular. Even though I don't get down with. Yeah, it doesn't matter. But like, will the circle be unbroken? One of the most famous, like, country, western bluegrass covers ever. Like, that's a Christian song. You know what I mean? Like, that's just, it's just awesome.

Here in Johnny Cash. Airing Stranger is unbelievable. It's good shit. I am a poor Wayfaring stranger. Jack White did it. I think it was on the Man of Consta Consta Sorrow soundtrack.

It wasn't in the movie. No, it's on the, it's called Down from the Mountain, and it is the extended version of the Oberloor soundtrack, and I know that because it's one of my favorites. This world below, there is no sick.

That's not ringing any bells. This toil nor danger. Union Station did it on that album. Yeah, they did. Yeah, and it was really good. yeah i don't know if it's on that album but it's like the extended cut of the album yeah there was some stuff that didn't make

definitely fucked to that soundtrack yeah hard jack white did it on which album did he do it on and he don't sing it it's one of those where he's got one of them like compilation albums yeah when he just invited a bunch of people over to his studio shout out t bone burnett by the way hey bros you know newsflash hey hit through my lord how hard to he crush with that fucking it's unbelievable

i mean i kind of made his whole career i mean about hey not for nothing well the The Lobowski soundtrack he did that shit too And that motherfucker goes He's done so many and incredible Yeah that one He won an Oscar for that right Yeah

Yeah he definitely won an Oscar for that And like was able to tour I don't think he's a draw He won an Oscar for the crazy heart song He definitely won it for yeah Him and Ryan Bingham yeah But yeah man I mean those dude Hey you know what

We should probably do Take a break no not that Yes but before that We should we should tell everybody that we're on tour And that you can get tickets at well well red comedy.com, W-E-L-R-E-D-comity. You said we're in Spokane right now.

We were in Seattle last night. It was great. Thank you to everybody who came out in Seattle. We're on to Lexington next week, then Charlotte, then New Orleans, then Naples, Florida, then Zanis,

well-red comedy.com, W-E-L-R-E-D, Comedy.com. Come see us on tour. And yes, let's take a break. We'll be right back after this. Yeah, he was,

he won for Crazy Heart, for sure. Yeah. I think we, I think I found this out when we interviewed Ryan on this podcast. Yeah. But he kind of discovered him.

Yeah, he did. That's crazy too. It's insane. At that like dive fucking bar or something like right. At Los Angeles. Yeah. I don't know. First of all, I can't remember the details enough to even do it.

But I also don't know if it would be a thing that it would be cool to do publicly. But he also has been on a lot of like really hitting albums like uncredited and stuff. Because he's like in the studio and ends up doing whatever like needs to be done. So he's been on all kinds of crazy. shit. He's just been around and hitting for a really long time. He also owns the board, the studio board, that Led Zeppelin made their albums on. Zeppelin 2 or which one was it? He's one of the biggest examples of like, dude who, the hardest you can hit and still

be able to walk down the street and not a lot of people know who you are. And that's not a slight to him. But like, we... Why have we not had him? Have we had him on this? No, we haven't. We should. Yeah, I just... We definitely should. He seems like he hits too hard to ask. Yeah, I just don't. I haven't wanted to ask. I mean, dude, I know, like, I mean, dude, I've been, I mean, I've, you know, I've been fucking with T-Bone for, I mean, shit, like, over two years. Like, you don't want to have him on a zone.

Over two years at this point, you might offend him by not. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, maybe. I've just felt like it would be like a. He's allowed to say no. Of course. I mean, yeah. I do think you about, like.

I mean, Callie, too. Callie would be great. For sure. And those, those two, it's like, you don't want to do it on Z. Zoom with them. You want to be hanging out, and a lot of factors have to come in for us to all be. Not that I'm sure some guests we've had on Zoom. We're like, oh, so is just cool to have me on Zoom?

That's fucking fine. Yeah, it's different. Well, for a while there, we basically had no choice. Yeah. We also don't really do guests that much. Not anymore because we're back to doing it like we're doing it right now together. But like, frankly, we get some people all the time, we're like, hey, y'all should do, y'all should reach out to blah, blah, blah.

We, all our guests are normally just buddies we have in the industry who holler at us and We're like, yo, I got a new album. Can I come on? We're like, fucking hey, yeah. Bring, you know, bring it on. Speaking of new album, our buddy, just a shameless plug for him, our buddy Hayes just put, out a new one. And it's really, really good.

He's hopefully going to be on Bubba shot the podcast very soon. He was going to do it last week, but his, uh, he was worried about his voice. He had a show that night, and you got to take care of your voice when you're in that industry and talking for an hour can be hard on it. This was the first Bubba I've missed. What son did y'all do? Uh, we did Pine Box. I'm kidding.

and I just said that to upset you I remember. Holy shit. The one you want, the lady that you like. Trishairewood? Yeah, she's in love with the boy. She's in love with the boy.

That's a great one. And yeah, guys, if you haven't checked it out yet, on this feed, Bubba shot the podcast, it is, this has to be true, it's the fastest growing 90s country podcast hosted by three Southern comedians of all time, probably.

Fastest growing. Yeah, it grew really fast. It went from non-shattering records. To most of ours. What is every? It's got, yeah, whatever it's got. So I appreciate your sharing that around. There's a hundred percent increase from when it didn't exist to now.

Yeah, and you don't see that a lot. No, it's pretty cool. Speaking of music, and I do want to circle back to the Bible a little later, but while I'm thinking about songs and stuff. You are the classic atheist because you talk about the Bible way more than me and Drew do. That's hilarious. I know, I'm just a joke. It's just a joke.

That's true. We also got offended. God, an atheist. I know. Jesus Christ, fucking pansy. All right. No, I wanted to talk. He knew he saw the trap.

He was like I can't say anything. We almost never talk about the Bible. We don't. That was just a joke. Ancient James. We used to say. Ancient James was the Bible. That we would have like a Bible study thing.

And we wanted to and you said you didn't want to do it. That's so not true. Because Bible don't hit for you. Oh, so now you're saying that you want to talk about the Bible a lot. Just like an atheist would. So the song. Now a little song. That one hits.

What's the name of it? Love the one you're with. Love the one you're with. Love the one you're with. Crossby Stills Nash and Young. I know I texted y'all this, but we haven't talked about it on here. Like, if y'all ever like... Always.

I haven't until you said it. But it's one of those songs, obviously, it's been around since way before we were born. So, like, it just pops up in movies and shit. Everybody's heard that song. And for me, I never thought about it. And then I think it came on a playlist that I was on the... Oh, is it? Okay.

They never did a version of it, all of them? Because I thought when it popped up on the playlist, because I don't think I would have even known who it was by. Well, let's talk it to Sidtrak before. Oh, no. Explain what you're saying. It steals fellow members of Crosby, Stills, and Nash provide background vocals on the song, but it's not technically considered a Crosby Stills in that song.

Well, whatever. So that's insane. So Steve Stills. Anyway, yeah. Love the one you're with. So it played on the, when I was on the back, and for the first time I was, like, listening to it. And that song's kind of hilarious. Yeah.

About what that song, it's like this, it's supposed to be sweet and everything, and it gets played in, like, rom-coms and shit like that. But the whole entire point of that song is, listen, you're not, you didn't get the one you wanted. Stop bitching about it. Settle down and deal with this not hitting thing that you've gotten into. It's also not even really profound lyrics like he says. If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you with.

It's like, you know, if you're disappointed, you really wish you didn't have to be with this person. But get over it. Listen, what if he was with, this is what I always thought when I heard is, what if he's with somebody when he put that out? Right. Yeah. Listen to the lyrics here. Like this, like, again, it's not even like, oh, well, at least they're super poetic great lyrics.

It's just, don't be angry. Don't be sad. And don't sit crying over good times you had. There's a girl right next to you. And she's just waiting for something to do. Like, it's just like, hey, man, take that bitch to Chili's. You know what I mean? Like, you're bitching while you got a woman there that will go to Chili's with you.

What else you won't? I mean, God damn. That would be such a better country song than fancy like. Take that bitching. Bistice to Chilis. Take that Bistice to Chilis. I just thought of that as like Mr. Biggs somehow. Take that Mr. Chilis.

But yeah, man, like that really is so funny because like it almost exclusively pops up in rom-coms where like the point of the movie is the complete opposite of this. Right. It's like it's honestly leave the one you're with and go get like most. Leave the one you're with and go get the one you want. That's how rom-coms always go. It's really, it's really I've brought, I've broached this to Amber before. But I was like, you know, most movies. that y'all really love just are all about infidelity like they're every single

isn't that what he did with that song was like look at that and go people got this backwards fuck this whole like never being satisfied the grass is greener she's better he's better look at the one you're with and love them dude it says here turn your heartache right into joy she's a girl and you're a boy get it together make it nice I ain't gonna need any more advice This is just such a dad explaining to his kid what life really is. Like, look, I know you've seen all the movies, but just fuck that one. I could be wrong, but I feel like we found maybe the wink link as far as songwriting. Well, it's a hit song, so you can't deny that.

I can't say it's a bad songwriter. Well, it's great arrangement. The arrangement of the song is great. Did he invent that? Bob Dylan just sang this, it wouldn't be near as good. Did he invent that cliche, or did he write a song about that cliche? That's a cliche now. can't be with one you love, love the one you

with. I think he invented him, right? He's definitely the most on the nose about it, for sure. Well, I thought we were saying, like, you thought that it was a playoff of the other very famous trope of leave the one you're with. Leave the one you're with. You know, pursue the one that got away or whatever. That's the famous trope from, like, movies,

even Shakespeare and shit. Yeah. But what I'm asking is, literally the phrase, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with, is now a cliche. I heard that before I ever heard the song. Really? I'm wondering if the song created that, or if it existed before the song. If people were just always saying that,

and he was like, let's hop on that. No, I bet it came from the song. I mean, I have no idea, but that's just my inclination. But also it's like, I feel like there's nothing wrong. If it was just about, like, the added element of there's somebody who you really actually would prefer to be with,

that's the part that makes it like even funny. Because if it's just like, listen, women don't hit. Just appreciate the person you're with and make it work, because relationships are hard. Right. And fairy tales aren't real.

Picture over the general better woman, not the literal one. That song is just Love Yours by J-Cole. Yeah, of course. That's the whole point of it. It's like you never going to be happy till you love what you got, you know, whatever. Stop worrying about other people's shit. But the added element of since you can't be with the one you would actually prefer to be with,

then just deal with it. This song may as well have a third verse in it that just talks about how messy divorce is and how it's not worth it. Just like, you just shouldn't do it. Don't worry about it. Just come on, come on. The other thing about rom-coms is, we may have talked about this one here before because I've, I've been this guy. You like rom-coms?

In my life, no, not really. Huge fan. Yeah, I know. Some of them really hit for me. Yeah, I mean, I don't like shitty ones. I like, like, four. Yeah. But I've been this guy in real life, like back in college or whatever.

But another trope that's always been funny to me in rom-coms is like, a lot of times the other dude is, like, kind of the villain. sort of, even if he's not that bad of a guy. And sometimes they make him an asshole to justify it. In the notebook, he's not. But in a lot of the movies, there's nothing wrong with him. James Marsden, in the notebook? James Marsden has been that guy a few times. And it's like, he's hot.

It's a good role of your cast in. He's kind of that guy in Westworld. He's been that guy a few times. He's like typecast as the other guy who isn't. And frankly, look, I'm about to... In Westworld, it's a little different, but that's kind of what he is, though. I'm probably about to get a lot of hate for this. I doubt that.

No, I will. And I'm not saying that he was 100% all the way good. But Billy Zane's cow in the Titanic, I feel had Rose's best interest at heart, and she was being kind of a childish prick there for a second. He wasn't like, leave me for this boy on a peasant on a door bad. Like he just, you know. Dude, I'll be honest, I haven't seen that movie in so long.

I haven't either. I'm probably way off on this. He probably beat her in. the movie and I don't remember. I didn't know that was possible. Yeah, I didn't either. It was four hours long. Yeah, and you were a kid.

I was like, no, I'm not doing that. Everybody, like, knows this. It's like, the, the whole end part, you know how it ends right.

I don't want to spoil it. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty fucking wild. There's an iceberg shit goes down. But anyway. I've seen all those memes where people have proved mathematically that she could fit on the door. Yeah.

But the whole, that whole part of that movie, which is like a fucking hour long because of how long it is, is rad. It's so rad. Hey, James Cameron is a bad motherfucker dude. And that whole part rules, but it's preceded by, it's preceded by two hours of a, you know, a romance. Very contrived.

And it came out when I was 11 or 12. Page fucking loved it. And I hated all that part. I didn't like it when I was a kid necessarily, but I loved it when I got all right. And I remember, despite I didn't give a single shit about the love part, I remember thinking, man, this guy's a huge asshole. Yeah. No, me too. I did too when I was a kid.

Me too. Lily Zane's lips. Well, maybe, you might be right. You're supposed to identify with the poor guy. No, no, no, dude, he is kind of an asshole. I'm not saying he's not kind of an asshole. I'm just saying, I remember when I was a kid thinking, like, they were definitely projecting him as like this, like,

wife-beater type dude. And I watched it one time as I was on, I was like, he never fucking hit her or another. Like, every time he kind of got a little lippy with her, she was doing some fucking stupid shit. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to get shit for this. But it's been a minute.

Sucking on that dirt wiener in a car. I know. I know. I know. But my thing on that is like... It's gonna be so funny if you guys have just forgotten a scene and she called her a whore. That's what I'm...

I'm certain that he beat her and I forgot about it. I'm saying, I just remember him being a dick. He was a rich pop-us guy and you would have definitely hated that. For sure, yeah. And I'm not saying you still can't hate that. But like, also, somebody posted on fucking Twitter the other day. I want to say it was Reg Thomas, like some meme where he's like, everybody talks about Rose and the Titanic's so great.

That old bitch threw away generational wealth at the end of that movie just to be a cunt. She literally throws the Hope Diamond in the fucking oath. It's like, Roy, I had thought about this over the years, thinking about back on Titanic. And then Roy Wood did a whole thing about it where it's also funny that she lives to be a fucking 90-year-old woman. With another husband. She's had a whole family. She's got like great grandkids and shit by now or whatever.

And she's still thinking about that dude. One dick. She parked once in a fucking Model T, the dirt winner. Yeah, Roy was like, you know he has some good dick. Yeah, I was like, nice young pole fella. broke the house of pipe you know whatever it's like like we're just talking about this on bubba about the whole they there's a trope where women just it was like two songs ago women just love the wharf right yeah he was and he was artistic it's a story yeah it's a story for sure

like cow like right it is a better story than rich guy for sure but i'm just saying and again i haven't watched that movie and like a lot about me and how i perceive the going zones of the world, and I will admit it, especially as it pertains to women, has changed in the past five to six years. And it's probably been around that time that I've seen this movie. So I might watch it now and honestly think that Cal's even more problematic than I thought as a fucking kid. But I just remember at one point watching it being like, okay, I mean, yeah, he seems like a prick, but like I don't think he necessarily, he's trying to help her out. Like, he don't really deserve all this shit. How was you trying to help her out? By being with her?

No, there were, I just remember at that point, there were being several, moments in the movie where like I remember it talking about yeah Rose you tell him and it would have just been like him being like we're gonna meet for dinner and this and I bought you a new jacket and she's like I don't want your fucking jacket or some shit like that and I was like oh that wasn't really that bad or like he didn't he try to help her get on the boat

I can't remember dude and she was like no I'm gonna find Jack but uh which I mean that was nice of her but another example of what we're talking about you were fucking Pierce Bryson and Mrs. Doubtfire yes he like wasn't a bad dude at all and hot he was

to kill him with food allergies. Like, well, dressed up like a woman. Dude, Rob Williams is a lunatic in that movie.

Lunatic. I love that movie, but that, it's a horror movie. It's a horror movie. It's like, that movie is wild. He committed multiple crimes.

Yeah, dude. That was a fucked up. He or not had them stalking above all of them. She stays with Pierce in that movie, right? It's just him getting back in his kids lives. They definitely don't get back together for sure. No,

but he gets with his kids, which he shouldn't have, dude, again, I know it's like, he should have been locked up. He definitely should have been locked up. But, like, yes, Pierce Broson, like, you're meant to think, oh, she shouldn't be Sally Field, which I love Sally Field, but like, Sally Field at that time gets Pierce Brousen. Don't you besmirch her name or her body or her face?

I'm not besmirch. I'm not, but I think Sally Field is awesome. But this is, this is James Bond Pierce Brasden. Pierce Brasden couldn't see her in a dream right now as an old lady. Sally Field is one of the hottest women ever lived. I think Sally Field's hot. You're insane about that because he's Bond. Like, Pierce Brise is one.

nine bonds at this point. I mean, you're a straight dude, but I mean, come on, man. Pierce Broson? Sally Fields? Sally Fields's hot, but she's not Pierce Broson, right? I'm not making a... Strongest degree. That's fine.

That's fine. It is hot, but I'm saying, like, if we're talking purely about physical attractiveness, I don't think it's fair to say she couldn't see Pierce. She's not Pierce. No, it's insane. Well, I was saying that in response to him saying that they weren't equal. They aren't equal. I was meeting hypobobrily with hyper.

That's insane. You don't think that's insane. The Sally Field ain't as hot as Pierce Bro. No, I didn't think. think that he was like out of her league or nothing no i was making a joke i mean obviously not ever leave but like pierce broszen is definitely hotter than fucking sally field strong disagree that's fine i just strong disagree it's not even close all right okay she wasn't when was she a bond lady i don't remember that let's think about it like this all right if her and smoking the

band it's one of the hottest one of my sexual awakenings Sally field's fucking hot pierce broson is hotter that's all i'm saying okay if Sally field and where you're not not going to do this, obviously, but if you, like, ranked Sally Field, we're talking just about looks here. She taught her in Timothy Dalton. I'll give you that. Okay. If we ranked Sally Field, just talking about looks here. But if you rank Sally Field amongst like other famous actresses of her era or whatever, just in terms of looks. And then you did the same thing with actors and with Pierce Brosnan. He's, Pierce Broson would be higher up on his list and Sally Phil is on her list. That has nothing to do with how good looking they respectively are. That's because if you

put, if you look at the list of men, there's going to be like seven leading men and then there's going to be hundreds of women in Hollywood. That's true. Also women have to be hotter to make it in Hollywood. That's also true. Pierce Brison is an Adonis man. Yeah. All that is absolutely true. You're correct. Pierce Brousin is very good looking. He's not an Adonis. Are you serious? He's not Rimmington Steel. He's not 80s and 90s. He's not, uh, Tom fucking Hardy good looking. What? Dude. He's way better look at... Tom Hardy is not an adonist.

I don't know about your tasting dudes, Drew. Dude. I would fuck Tom Hardy, too. Don't get me wrong. But Pierce Brosnan? Dude. Sally Field's hotter than Pierce Bros. That's fine for you to think that.

It's insane. No. Dude. Sally Field couldn't see Pierce Bros. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud. I would... Are you just doing a this is how straight I am thing, Drew? No.

No, Sallyfield is hard. Dude, again, Sallyfield didn't... I'm talking about... You're not fucking Norman Dean. She is hot. I never said she wasn't hot. It's just Pierce Brosson's hotter than her. He was burned!

Dude, she's defa. Y'all are killing me. Pierce Brasen, as Remington Steel is literally like a GQ frontman. Again, Sally Field's hot, but you said he wasn't an Adonis. He said he wasn't an Adonis. Adonis, specifically as a term for men, refers to people with, like, really good chiseled bodies. He had that in the 80s.

No, he had that. He had that. You don't know him in 90s. skinny. No, he wasn't. He was rummed to... Yeah, he was. So, but... You don't know anything about Sally Field, clearly. Norwich Gene? Yes, I do. She's fucking played a fucking organizer in Colfields? But dude, like... Forrest Gump's fucking mama?

Tom Hardy's a great actor for the record, but I don't ever see anyone being like, oh yeah, Tom Hardy is... Smoking a goddamn bandit. I just said her and smoking the bandit's one of the hottest people of... I'm not... I never once said she's not hot. First is a guy who eats beans for breakfast. Hey, first off, I have always found that that's a weird thing. for who the hell are we

to fucking. People who know when to eat beans. She thinks Shelfil don't know when to eat beans. That bitch got osteopirosis. She can't be having beans. I guarantee. No, that ain't true. You can have beans if you have osteoporosis. Prove it.

I don't. You eat beans. You probably got it. I've definitely got osteoporosis. Parosis. You keep saying pyrosis. You keep putting a pie in the middle of that ailment, which is hilarious. A man who keeps putting pie in words.

is trying to besmirch Sally Field. I'm not besmirching Sally Field. I'm just saying that, like, Pierce Brosnan is a hotter man than she is a woman. This is not true. All right. I think Sally Field is awesome and also very attractive, but I do.

She's definitely a better actress, where you wouldn't do that. By a mile. Yeah. But I think that, like, objective physical attractiveness, that this is a fabulous statement. I think you guys are comparing current Pierce Broson.

No, I'm not. I'm talking about Reminds and Steel. There's no doubt that, you know, men age better. than women in terms of what we What we allow them to age. Yeah, we allow them to age better. But I just think Sally Field at that time

and him at that time, I think that's equal footing at best for him. Okay, but not in Mrs. Doubtfire, it wasn't. That's what I'm talking about, Mrs. Doubtfire. Nah. Yep. I thought you were saying, like, him and Remington stealing her and smoking the bandit, and if that, I'd be like,

okay, I'll give you that. Yeah, I'm saying that too. Okay. Maybe, because she was fucking... I think y'all are swayed by current situation, because he is a fox. I mean, he is a fucking stone cold fox now. Matter of fact, guys who aren't Adonis's often do age better.

Because they look the same. Jeff Goldblum's another one like that. He's very good looking. He's weird looking but good looking. Steve Carell has glowed up a lot. One of the biggest glowups in history. I think it's just because, like, the way they made is... I think he's a good person.

He seems like it. But a lot of people seem like it, and I know they're not. Yeah, that's true. I think he is. I've never heard anything to the contrary. Right. So I also would like to believe. that. Right. I choose to believe it. Hey, and speaking of believing stuff, I believe that we are

going to take a break and we'll be right back after this. I would fuck the shit out of Pierce Brosnan, is all I'm saying. Drew, who is like the hottest dude in Hollywood? I would drink Sally Fields bathwater. Okay. Right now. Yeah, right now, Jason. But being queer. Jason Moe, if you're talking about the kind I would be into if I were gay. He's super hot. Because I just, I don't know, I got to, this is probably racist. I really like an Islander look on all people. No, me too. No, no. If it's racist, you at least like it. And then, I don't know, I thought, I really genuinely thought Tom Hardy was like at the top of most people's list.

I mean, he's dead. I mean, maybe. I think I'm in the wrong kind of guy. And then whatever Shalome is, it's like that Keanu Reeves type. Kind of like a bitch. I never got that one. I mean, Keanu's not a bitch. And they look similar.

Yeah, like they have a bird jaw. Adam Driver's got that same thing. Yeah. Bird jaw. I really hope this isn't offensive because I don't make. for it to be obviously but he like a twink right definitely a twink yeah he's definitely a twink hold on let me ask you because i ain't into twinks really as far as dudes go i'd rather get i'd rather than fuck me like chris hamsworth yeah well i was gonna say i answered that question as who i think

the hottest guy in hollywood is yeah but are you asking me who i think people think no i want to know who you personally thought was i think for me it's probably memoa uh and like that whole family lennie cravitz because he's with lennie cravitz's ex and then Zoe Kravitz is his stepdaughter. I don't know if you knew that. Yeah, I did. I'd forgotten it, but yeah, I didn't know that. Within the bounds of legality and morality,

whoever's listening to it right now, the whole family. I don't know how big the family is. I'm sure there's like eight-year-olds in that family. I'm not talking about them. Yeah, for sure. Every adult in that family, buddy. Yeah, he's got, he's one of them dudes

that like just even when he's not, looks like he has mascara on. You know what I mean? Like, he's just got those brooding. Is it brooding? Is that the word, those brooding eyes? Yeah. Hemsworth is

Man, we did it twice in a row Holy shit, yo Hell yeah, go Titans That's two in a row Yeah, man Damn, Wode Tonson's got Stafford too Sorry y'all

We got a Titans game On in the background We've been doing Pretty good to consider We have been First time it's come up And we can discuss Just because I teased it

Don't let us in this Without me asking You all that one Bible question Okay Let's talk about Hollywood Hotties Dude bros Shalmy's hot right now I know that

When I say hot right now I mean, like, he's in. People are top of the... In, and also hot. I know Memo is in. I know Hemsworth is in. What about the Slars Glor brothers? Oh, yeah.

Are they considered top of the tops? Alexander is a... Alexander was definitely... I mean, it is still definitely... But like when Trueblood was on and shit, and then, you know, like... He was probably making a lot of people's top five list and stuff. He was still just as good looking as he ever was,

but I'm saying I don't know if he's like... I don't know what he's doing right now. Speaking of him, his daddy looked... wild as fucking dune man hell yeah name michael b jordan uh he's definitely up there he's hot black guy right now yeah he's fucking hot as shit idris never not gonna be is it idris or idris i think it's edris i think it's edris okay speaking of which i gotta i gotta see that damn good dude i would fucking spread my legs from east to west i want to see what's it the harder they fall you gotta go west to east because he's from a different hemisphere oh that's right uh yeah he's definitely hot um who else

is like super boner right now. We've listed enough. I mean, anybody we were missing though, an obvious one? You guys are way more into pop movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop movies. Yeah, like I wouldn't even thought of Hemsworth.

The Marlowe. Yeah, that's why I think of him. But as far as like him, all the other, like, I don't, I don't know, like, fucking Chris Evans, who I love as an actor. That's what I was thinking of. I was going to say he doesn't Chris Emberts have a brother. I love him as an actor

and I'm thinking of Chris Rethers. Two brothers. Two brothers. Yeah, he has three. Are they fama? Yeah. They all work. Liam Hemsworth is like,

he's Thor. Pretty big dick. No, Chris is Thor. Liam Hensworth was in Hunger Games movies. Yeah. And a bunch of other like Y-A type shit. And their other brothers kind of like is like Cooper Manning. But he's in Westwood.

He has a disease. He's in Westworld. Does Cooper Man have a disease? Yeah. What autism? No, I thought he got like hurt real bad. I thought it was a disease.

It was a degenerative disease that hit you when you're later. Maybe you're right. It didn't know. Okay. Honestly, I thought that he just didn't hit and he really like money and he was just like got in. It's not like he was going to go to the league as a receiver anyway. I always remember hearing, and I'm sure it was bullshit, I guess, but I always remember hearing, you know, like, you say Cooper Manning was the best of one up. Yeah, they always say that when somebody don't hit.

You know, he just got hurt or had the thing or whatever. He was a receiver, right? Yeah. I just remember people. I remember people saying that all the time. He really hit. Well, I was going to say, like, it's not like that has to be up for conjection. Just look at his old miss stats.

Also, you literally can't compare him to his brothers. Was he the Peyton and Eli Manning of receivers? Right. I don't think so. I don't think so either. He played in the slot. Right. Caught a lot of...

The white guy played in the slot? Yeah, cut a lot of first downs across the middle. No-uh. Played the game the right way. Really? Hustled? Scrappy? Jim Rat?

Jim Rat? Yeah. First one in last time. Firecracker? Really finished every playout. Yeah, right. Mentally just knew the game. Yeah.

You know? Real heady guy. Yeah. Yeah. High football IQ. Always making the right play. Deceptively athletic. Yeah.

Deceptively fast. Great leader in the locker room. Yeah. You know. Lunch pale kind of guy. Absolutely. Lunch pale kind of guy. Yeah.

All right. Enough about Joe Buck. We just rattled off a whole lot of those. Because it's, yeah. It's just how I got just about all of them. Yeah. And by the way, I didn't mean to throw Joe Buck under the, he's one of the greatest broadcasters of all time.

But that is just things that over the years, if you, if you're not familiar because a lot of our fans don't as they would refer to it pay attention to sports ball that is how white athletes are often referred to what what are we at on time over there oh we uh we've got about uh we've got about 15 minute lea okay cool we did do that last that uh we already did yeah i just threw to a break don't you remember i thought we did three i'm sorry just two spots so what's who's uh who's uh The billy goat. The two boys with the billygo?

Eshach. Shadrach. Shadrach and a Beedgo. Yeah. Shadrach Meshak and a Bednego. His name's a Bednego, but we always said a Billy Goe. I think we've talked about this before. Yeah, Shedrake Mishon.

I thought so. But go ahead. It'll never get old. Shadrach Meshack and a bed and go. Is that all you wanted to know is who were they? What was the deal? What was the deal with them? So the Billy goat thing is just something that little kids say because they can't say

A Bednego. Yeah. Shedric and Abednego. Yeah. No, not at all. I don't have for you anymore A little less I figured they're big guys

So in the old testament True hell yeah So in the old testament This might come as a shock to you trade But the Jews didn't hit for a lot of people A lot of people hated the Jews And a lot of people were oppressing the Jews Yeah, a lot of people were trying to murder the Jews

Yeah Yeah And So this is old testament shit A king They didn't like the Jews in the New Testament either But it was like different They had Jesus at that point

Well then we had a reason I'd them They murdered Jesus Right. But there was a king who didn't like the Jews, and he worshipped many gods and a lot of false idols, and he was trying to get his townspeople to worship a golden cow, I think it was. Golden calf?

Oh, this is the golden cow? I'm 99% sure that that's the same king. I think so. Okay, I know about the golden. Yeah, Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar. So they wouldn't do it. King of Babylonazin.

Yeah. Babylon. Babylon. Today we're sponsored by Babylonism. You'll get your throat coated. You're just trying to say Babylon? Yes. Okay.

And I was reading Nebuchadnezzar right beside it, and I was like, Babylon. Babylon. Yeah. Anyway, they wouldn't do it, so he put them in a furnace. Yeah. Oh, shit. And the story is... It's like Daniel's in the line.

Daniel in the lines then, kind of. There were four, when the people looked in, there were four people in there with them. Because Jesus was a... Jesus. Or God? Wasn't Jesus. It was God. Or was it Jesus?

Is it a New Testament? I know. It's an old testament. No, it's old Testament. So it was God. It was an angel. It was an angel. So an angel got in there to cook with them?

Protect them. Protect them. And then they came out and they were unburnt. And then the king was like, you know what? Y'all are cool. Everything I said, respect. I'm just going to be the king. And then y'all can just go back to herding your machine.

And then they gave them a billy goat. And they sacrificed it to God. They put it in the same furnace. Yeah. They cooked it and ate it. You ever hear the story about this guy back in them old king days? Some dude brought the king and they tortured. device he created.

And the king used it on him? Yeah. Yeah. You talk about played yourself. No shit. Uno reverse card, baby. God damn. It was a, and it's really fucked up too.

No shit. It was a big metal bull that you could fit inside of. And then they, and then they would light a fire under it and you'd like get broasted inside this big metal bull. And this dude cast this bull and brought it there and explained it to him. And the king was like, you don't hit. Get in there. bull getting that bull that is and uh that's kind of a bold move i mean like dude i know that this guy

we don't need him out there right right right but it's it like i know that you as bad as him if you use it why don't just shoot him and destroy the bull or like i mean because you know how kings be i know that kings are he's like listen this kind of does hit for me and i'm definitely going you know what like on you fart done that yeah right the more i think about it he was really going i don't trust the guy who thinks this way for sure it had nothing to do with like keeping the king yeah i was about to say like it was it's just kind of why mild like it's like i mean i know how kings are and they want to do their evil and shit but like god definitely should have hit for the king you know what i mean like the king should have been like right on

you're one of my boys but what's the single dumbest thing in the bible that you that pops in your head when i ask that question like in terms of it could be very minor what was the zakeas story he couldn't see so he climbed up in a tree yeah he was the tax collector and he was too short yeah and so he climbed up in a tree the song was that xakeas was a wee little man and a wee little man was he he climbed up in a sycamore tree to see what he could see. I thought it was for the Lord he wanted to see. For the Lord he wanted to see. Zachius,

get down from that tree. No, that's George the jungle. I mixed him. But it is the whole story is... The whole story is Jesus came to the bottom of a tree. That's a Steve Harvey bet. Hey, you don't have to just come down. Yeah. And he was the... What was the point? He was a tax collector and that didn't hit. That didn't hit.

And Jesus talked to him was like, hey, you shouldn't be taking poor people's taxes. And he was like, right on. And he was like, oh, you, you short bitch, you know, and then his life change and he stopped being a tax collector. I don't know. There's a lot of short douchebags. Some of their... Why don't you get in the back with ain't shit James?

Exactly. You short bitch. You short bitch. Ain't shit Zachias. Yeah. Ain't shit James. That one's pretty. That one's pretty doing climate cheese.

That is some real ain't shit James stuff right there. What's the one about the bald man that chases down that bear? Yeah, yeah. Hey, no, he summons a bear with the Lord. He uses the Lord to murder children with a bear. they were making fun of him for being bald. For being bald. It was like, I remember that one because I've used it against me. Yeah. Not use it against you.

Yeah. I'm going to tell you the dumbest one though. Hold on. But yeah, it was a guy, a bunch of kids were saying, go up bald man. Go up, bald man. And it's funny because I've read some Bible scholars or whatever say, and this is so funny when they do shit like this to me. They were like, well, see, one interpretation of that when they say, go up bald man. they meant like to the heavens so really they were threatening his life like that's so stupid who talks like that and they're trying to justify what they're trying to do is like justify him then murdering them with bears yeah because he then he that pisses him at don't hit for him all those little fuckers talking shit so he uh you know hollers use this bear magic

hollers at the lord who summons bears that then killed him the lord that wouldn't just give him hair so we'll give him trained russian circus bears to murder a little israelite yeah The two dumbest things in the Bible, in my opinion, one is the story of Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah. So stupid. The quick version of Trey is that two angels are at Lott's house and everyone in town. Lot is Abraham's brother? I think.

Everyone in town wants to fuck them. Raped in a cave. They come to fuck the angels. Men outside the doors are like, we're here to fuck them beings. They hit for us, we're going to fuck them. Great counting croissant. And he's like, don't fuck them.

Fuck my virgin daughters instead. And they're like, cool, we'll fuck your daughters. And then later, his same daughter. daughters trick him into fucking them. To fuck, the daughters trick him into fucking the daughter? Yeah. Yeah. That's a joke. Pretty big. Because he's drunk and blind.

They were hilarious. They were hilarious. Dude, they were so funny back in the Bible. You know how Israel. It was before PC really was a thing. His wife turned assault. That's because she looked back. She didn't have faith. That one is dumb, but it makes sense. God tells him, leave Sodom and Gomorrah and don't ever even look

back. And they thought, I guess maybe God was speaking in a metaphor. metaphors, but he wasn't. She turned around and turned into a pillar of salt. Salt bitch. Salt Bay, the original. Yeah, God was pretty... He was intense. Now, here's the dumbest thing in the Bible, in my opinion.

And this is going to sound like I'm making a point, and I guess I am, but this genuinely is so stupid. The dumbest thing in the Bible is the idea that God is so upset with us for sinning, that he very sadly and somberly has to make us kill his son. as a sacrifice to him so that we can get to heaven. So you, in your estimation, the dumbest thing in the whole mind? It's the main part of it. Yes.

Yeah. That hits for me. Because God is saying, I can definitely get down with that. These folks can't be into heaven. The only way we can do it. All right, everybody, it's like that. My son, who is me?

Yeah, it's like that Puff Daddy sketch on Chappelle's show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, y'all got to get out of studio. All the way, I'm going to let you back in. Yeah. I'm shutting down the story. You carry me. To a yogurt shop.

And buy me five cheeseburgers. It's like God is saying in that moment, hey, you guys sinned so you can't get into heaven unless I thought of one way you could get in heaven. And it's if I send myself down as my son and you murder him as a sacrifice to me. And then worship him. And then worship him.

When it's like, why don't you just forgive us? No, no, I can forgive you after you murder my son. When I'm him, I can forgive you. But like, I can't do it without all. all that. You have to have me, my son in your heart. Yes. And then you can be, and then kill him. And he got to die and he got to go to this stuff. And he got to go to heaven and conquer the devil. And they're definitely going to blame it on the Jews. Yeah, but I could just forgive you guys. Yeah, but wasn't he playing the long

game, you know? For sure. Because if he hadn't done that, Jesus wouldn't be a thing. And he's like such a thing. So, pretty big thing. Needed him to be a thing. Kind of played out. Pretty good long-term vision marketing by God. I think it did. I think if he'd just been like, Hey, it don't have for me. If he'd had just come. down and been like, hey, you don't have to do none of that? And also, here's some free beer. I think everybody had to play, too. That and also the time when he made Abraham take his son Isaac to the altar and he was going to cut.

Do you know this one? Yeah, he told Abraham to kill his son, Isaac. And as he's raising the sick, he had guys like, oh shit. Oh shit, you was really going to do that shit. God, damn, God. Damn, I was fucking around. This motherfucker crazy over here. I like, you see that ain't shit, James.

That's why you ain't shit. You would never kill your son. Yeah. And then, like, Isaac and his dad just kept living together. Like, my fucking Lord. That went also the... Everything in the Old Testament's wild. Partially because most things in the Old Testament are older stories,

often from other religions that have been, like, amalgamized or whatever, into, like, a new thing. They were oral traditions first. Obviously, they got translated a million times. Some of them, yeah. Egyptian shit. believe there was some point to the idea of fuck my daughter's not these angel beings for sure just like you know telephone yeah yeah so also like the whole noah's ark thing is wild because noah's ark actually has within it like a built down cooling off period for god like you know what i'm saying like normally god would get mad and then smite somebody but in noah's ark like he gets mad at the whole earth and is like i'm gonna flood them because they're a bunch of sinners fuck them i'm gonna kill every person everybody. Noah, just letting you know, I'm doing this shit, but you hit for me.

So you, if you, I'm giving you time right now to build this boat that way. It took Noah, per the Bible, like 200 years. God was still mad. And God was still fucking on some fuck shit about all that. He was still mad. People was living for 900 years back in the day. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, Nebuchadnezzar lived for a very long time. Methuselah.

Methuselah is the oldest one in the Bible. Marching with Methuselah. It's like 900 and something. reading that was one of the things by the way when I was like probably like nine or ten that like I was like oh shit this bullshit like nine hundred year old yeah and I was like because my whole life was just like I remember telling someone at school who didn't really go to church and I was like yeah you know back then they just used to live to like 900 years and I was just like

wait wait no it should be the opposite we should definitely live longer now and we do yeah and we definitely do so like and then I remember the past I remember the pastor too being like, well, you have to understand their calendars were different than ours. That was his excuse? Yeah, and I was like, pretty clever. I mean, to lie to a child, I agree. That was a solid move. But it's like, but what did they think years was then?

Because that's also been another thing for them. They were like, it makes sense their calendars and their time was different because that's why it didn't really take God seven days to make the earth. It's what they called days. But stuff like that, it's like you can chalk it up to metaphor. The Noah's Archangeling. You say, like, oh, that's just a good story. Like, it's wild. It proves a point.

But the lot thing, to me, don't prove any points. It was rape. It was weird. It was like, don't fuck these beings. Fuck my daughter. Like, I don't even know what that was about. In what world do you think you're being a good dad by being like, don't fuck them angels. Fuck my daughters.

Like, an angel could probably take care of themselves. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, it kind of goes with that. Plus, what the angels wanted to get fucked? Where it's like, part of the Bible is like, I'm going to take an angel of a cheese. Nobody is above God or his shit, even your family.

Yes. Like, that's what they're trying to impart. Yeah. God's got to be the very top. I can never get down with that either. No, hell no. That's so stupid. Like, you're a bad parent.

We got a pause and watch this dude get broken. Okay. Half. Okay. It ain't good. He saw God in that Chili's tonight. I ate at Chili's just a minute ago. You ate chilies?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Damn. I just got some chips and sauce and a salad. Just because I didn't, want to like I just needed something in me and chilies is a good chain I like chilies. Chilies is my favorite chain

It's good as far as chains go. They got bits of chilies. Yeah. They've got angels of chilies. Yeah, their chips and sauces legit and their salads are pretty good. I'm going to take Sally Field. And I had like five T's. So you know that to me that's a good pre-show meal and

yeah, well hey speaking of pre-show, we got to go do a show. If you'd like to come see us do shows, you know what to do. Go to well-redcomedy.com. W-E-L-L-R. edcom.com. We're everywhere, by the way, if we're not, if your city is not listed, that does not mean we're not coming. I promise, there's just only so many days

in the month and year, and we haven't got all our contracts figured out. So especially if you're used to seeing us in the city, we're probably coming. I guarantee you. Don't be mad at us, but we love you. And thank you all for listening to the Well Red Show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go. Tune it next week if you got nothing to do.

Thank you. God bless you. Good night and ski. I would pierce Sally's field I'd get Honestly let them both butt fuck me Be fine Right in the dirt shoot Yeah dirt shoot

Yeah