wellRED podcast - #249 - Stuffing Vs Dressing and other Thanksgiving arguments!

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Tickets to shows at wellredcomedy.com

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to, you, like, had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

It's just like you can just, it makes it easier to lose count of, well, your count, the count every month, how much you're spending. A lot of people don't even know how much they spend on a per month basis. I'm not going to lie, I can be one of those people. Like, let me ask you right now. Skewers out, whatnot, sorry, well-read people. People across the ske universe, I should say. Do you even know how many subscriptions that you actively pay for every month or every year?

Do you even know? Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery? Getting a paid chauffeur for your chicken low mane? Because that's a thing that we do in this society. You know how much you spend on that? It's probably more than you think. But now there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. and it's called Rocket Money.

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So I was probably like, I should know Spanish. I'll learn Spanish and I've just been paying to learn Spanish without practicing any Spanish for, you know, pertinent two years now or something like that. Also, a fun one I'd said it before, but I got an app, lovely little app where you could, you know, put your friend's faces onto funny reaction gifts and stuff like that. So obviously I got it so I could put Corey's face on those two, those two like twins from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movies. You know, those weren't a little like the Q-ball looking twin. fellas. Yeah. So that was that in response to. What was that a reply gift for? Just when I did something stupid. Something fat, I think, and stupid. Something both fat and stupid. But anyway, that was money well spent at first. But then I quit using it and was still paying for it and forgotten. If it wasn't

for Rocket Money, I never would have even figured it out. So shout out to them. They help. If you money dumb like me, Rocket Money can help. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash well read today. That's rocketmoney.com slash well, RED. Rocketmoney.com slash well read. And we thank them for sponsoring this episode of the podcast. It's your boy, Corey Ryan Forster here. And before we get the show started, I want to tell you about my friends, literally my friends. I know we say that when it's at time for a sponsor my friends.

And then we've met some of these people. Of course, they're nice people. We wouldn't, you know, hawk their products at you. They weren't, but when I say friends on this, literally, one of my best friends of over 30 years, my buddy Robbie over at Uncle Bod. A lot of you all have noticed that I have slimmed up, and of course, a lot of that was just purely the dedication of you boy, a generational talent, the likes of which this world may never see again. But I owe so much of it to Robbie and Uncle Bod.

If you're like me and you travel, or maybe you've just got a hectic schedule and you've thought to yourself, you're like, I just don't have time to fit it in. I can't do it. There's no way I'm going to get in shape. I just am not a person that can get in shape. Or maybe my metabolism's gone. I'm not somebody that's supposed to have abs. I can't do it.

I promise you, you might have just been working out wrong. Okay? You always hear work smarter or not harder? Well, that's one of the primary focuses at Uncle Bod. All right. It's all lightweight or resistant band. Like, you can do a lot of it with just your body weight. Robbie's also slick, man.

Like, you can just like, if you do a consultation with Robbie, he can like just point at stuff in your room, be like, hey, by the way, you could do dips on that. You only have to go buy another thing. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're not going to break the bank, getting new equipment and stuff like that. You can do it with a cheap, every one of these workouts you can do with a cheap pair of resistance bands. I, you know, I swear by it.

And again, it's really changed my life. And Robbie just makes it so simple. And it's such an effective workout. Here's what you're going to do. To get 10% off the lifetime of your plan, go to uncle bod.com slash buttercream. All right. 10% off the lifetime of your plan. And remember, don't just buttercream dream.

Buttercream do it Scoo! Unclebod.com slash buttercream. All right, now on with the show. They're the They're the real red necks They like cornbread, but sex They care way too much

But don't give a fun Next that makes some people upset But they got three big old dicks That you can suck Is it recording? Yeah, all right, we're We're going I'll tell you what, number one,

Trey, Tray Lane with the new haircut looking all suave. You know what people can do. If they want to see us on tour, let's go to well-read comedy.com. W-E-L-L-R-E-D comedy.com this Friday? Yeah. We're in New Orleans, right? Like, as of listening to this podcast, we'll be in New Orleans this Friday at the Civic Theater. Limited tickets available, grab at well-word comedy.

com. And then after that, we're at Off-the-Hook Comedy Club in, here's that some bitch hold up uh after that we are at off the off the hook comedy club in naples florida uh december 11th of the 12th the 11th is my birthday if you need to be guilt tripped into coming to see us there uh and then after that we're going to be it's our homecoming shows oh sorry i thought i had to burp our homecoming shows at zanis in nashville december 16th through the 19th am i correct yes and uh yeah and also we are filming those shows. No, no, no, no. It's just the 18th now.

Okay, you're right. You're right. You're right. December 16th through 18th. Zanis in Nashville. We're filming those shows. So if you're someone, maybe you don't live in the Nashville area, but you live a couple hours away, it'd be worth the drive. You know what I'm saying? I know that one or two of the shows are already sold out. So grab those tickets at well-read comedy.com, and we can't wait to see you out there. And, uh, hey, Drew. Hey, can you hear you at? Austin.

Oh, word? Yeah, my internet's being terrible, though. I can hear you fine. The phone's almost dead, so this is Super Raven. No, you sound good. You're just, so you are in Austin because you and Andy are driving from L.A. to home, and that's just where you're at. Yeah, we're going to be in New Orleans by Thursday. We're seeing Wynonna Judd tomorrow.

Oh, that's dope. Like, in Austin? Yeah, we're going to go to Grun Hall. Tony Campbell's going to join us. You know what? Lovely wife page. Yeah, I thought that that sentence you just said sounded familiar. I talked to Tony the other day, and he said that he was going to try to go to go to Green Hall with y'all with y'all and see that show.

It's super great you guys can hear me, but I'm having a hard time with you. I think you can hear us. Come on down. No, no, no, no. I was talking to Tony Camel and he was telling me that he might hang out. All the things that you just said, I was like, I feel like I've heard. just before and it was because Tony Camel and I had spoken last week. So that's rad, man. I'll, uh, I guess I'll probably be in, I think I'm getting to New Orleans like mid afternoon,

Friday, day of show. I'm just staying a couple extra days. Drew can't hear a goddamn word we're saying, can he? Well, I, uh, just speaking of shit being raven, I'm pissed off right now because just before we got on here, uh, this is partially my fault, sort of, but so I ordered Katie's Christmas present and it was arriving today and I knew that, but it's like discreetly packaged and addressed to me, you know. And also I've been like on the UPS tracker watching it and it was still like two blocks over. It was like 1230 to 430 window and I track my packages a lot and they almost never, ever, ever come in the early part of any given window. It's always in the later part, you know. So I wasn't that worried about it, but also I was trying to keep an eye on it. And also it's

dressed to me and it's in packaging where you can't tell what it is or whatever. But you know she'd be going through your shit. I get shit here at house all the time, podcast sponsors and stuff like that or whatever. But anyway, right before we started, she texted me and she just opened it immediately when it showed up. So she just straight up fucking opened it. And I'm really upset about it. I want to fucking return it and just get her something else, I guess.

You get the shot one. Yeah, right. I don't want to have to go through that process. Also, I'm terrible at buying gifts and I felt really good about this one. She didn't open the... I don't think you're terrible at buying gifts. I think that Katie is bad at receiving gifts. If I may defend you for a second.

No. Listen, listen, I know that we're Star Cross lovers, but normally me and Katie are kind of like on the same page and shit, but I know some of the stuff that you've gotten her over the years. And I'll be honest with you, good gifts that I would love to get. Basically, I'm like, I would have loved that fucking Gucci bag. It was wasted on your fucking wife. Right.

Well, anyway, she didn't open it. fully, but I mean, she's, you know, she knows. She knows enough. Yeah. It's just, uh, yeah, it's just upset me. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, what can you do about it? Are you a surprise guy?

Yeah. Yeah, me too. No, but I mean, like being surprised. Yeah. Like, that's the biggest part of it for me. Me too. And she knows that. Yeah.

Like, I hate having a surprise ruined. It's worse. is for me. I hate it. And that goes for like spoilers too. I fucking hate spoilers. But yeah, gift surprises.

Like she's, and she's the opposite. It always has been. That's part of why I'm annoyed right now. I know she didn't do this on purpose, but it still is just like very cosmically appropriate because this is just how it is between the two of us all the time because she's the opposite.

If she gets me something, she'll almost never make it to the actual day of without ruining it by telling me because it's just like eating. her up inside. She's like, can I just give it to you now? Could I just tell you now? Whatever? And I'm like, no. I want it to be a fucking surprise. She's like, what's... And she's the exact opposite. So anyway, it's just super raven

and I'm pissed off about it, but whatever. Yeah, I'd almost rather have nothing than to get something and you tell me, like, in advance what it is. Like, I don't, that's not... Yeah. No, I'm right. Yeah, because, like, I'm the type of person, like, when I need something, I go get it. It's not like I want for anything in this fucking world, but if we're going to do

the whole present thing, like, I want to, like, be like, oh my God, you know, like that's the moment. All right. So I did have, I got a couple of things I wanted to ask you all about. The first one, I'm hoping, I'm hoping this will lead into just you talking about fighting with your mama, Cho. That's where I'm hoping this is going. So we'll, but no pressure.

We, it don't have to. But I got a, I got a question from one of my Patreon people. It's also a way for me to say, you can go to patreon.com slash trade, If you want some extra shit for me. I got a patron on there, sent me a message. They go by Amethyst. That's their handle on there. So I don't have...

Is that a rock? It is. It's a pink rock. Yeah. Those are maimstone. Yeah. Anyway, amethysts says, apparently, and I honestly, I don't remember this, but apparently on a recent episode of the podcast, or somewhere.

Somewhere or another, you were talking about transgender people and how they get for you. Yeah, you were. Okay. Oh, is it when I was talking about sometimes when I watch porn, I watch transgender women, bang, regular women, because my whole thing was like, if I'm going to have to look at a dick, that dick may as well have kids. Yeah. So Amethus heard that. I'll stand by that, by the way. Stand by it. Right. Well, that, I'm glad you remember that because I didn't because it's going to make the sign off. It's going to make the sign off here make more sense now that you've clarified that because I have forgotten, which you'll understand in a minute. But anyway, Amethis said. it's all well and good to think transgender should have rights, but would you stand up to your mama if she was talking shit about us, signed one of the queers you like to see naked? So anyway, I guess. So, yeah, like I said, I'm glad you clarified the thing there.

But I told him, I told Amethys, and I said, well, I'll ask him the question, because I would like to hear him talking about him and his mama and we're shit talking is concerned. Yeah. But I can go ahead and tell you. I can go ahead and tell you, though, that I know that he would. What was the question exactly?

If your mama, and I'm not even saying your mama would do this, but if your mama was like, you know, it's a Thanksgiving dinner table or something, and expressing the opposite viewpoint. Not about, not about tech ditty porn. Right. If your mom was like regular porn or nothing else. But you know what I mean.

Yeah. If my mom was talking shit about transgender people. If two women are going to fuck on film, Corey, one of them doesn't have a goddamn dick. If you could go get the fuck out of my kitchen. How would that go in your presence, basically? In my, I mean, to my recollection, me and my mom, I've never heard my mom say, I can say this sincerely. My mom is one of the more open-minded women as it pertains to the LGBTQ community. from way back because i remember like i remember being pretty young and like my mom was told by her

church not to watch willing grace you know what i mean and my mom was always like i don't get it's funny who gives a shit and they were all like but you don't understand it's a sin and i remember my mom just being like you know that's kind that's bullshit like i've got friends who are interior decorators or day who are very sweet people and i don't think of them as people who are going to hell that's ridiculous so my mom's actually always been pretty you know woke in that regard That said, though, so my point is, she would, she would never in this regard say anything about this community. That said, my mom definitely does have some other opinions that I've fucking argued with her about and would. So, yes, in the situation that that happened, you're goddamn right I would.

And I would end up having to leave. Like, it depends, though. And I've said this before. It depends on if we had already eaten. You know what I mean? Like, if dinner had not been served yet and mom started talking shit, I would, conveniently bite my tongue until I was on my second plate. Then once I knew I had everything I came there for,

I'd be like, all right, I'd unbutton my pants and go, let me tell you how I feel about the fucking transgender people. You know what I mean? Well, so I was going to ask then, like, once y'all get started in on each other, like, how. How it goes? Yeah, how that often go. You said you end up having to leave.

Like, do you ever feel that you've, you know, done admirably at the end of these or are you always way madder than she is and also you've removed yourself to somewhere else to be pissed off and she's just like going on about her day as if nothing happened. Trey, do you remember Donovan's? Yeah. That was different.

Yeah, but so no, not really. I mean, I know, I remember what you're talking about but I thought it was her kind of like fucking with him in some way. But I thought it started out with Trump. Am I wrong about that? Probably. No, you're probably right. I don't remember.

It was, because I said I would vote for that sweet potato right there before I would vote for that dumb, fat son of a bitch who is the same color. And that made Corey laugh. And I said that to your dad. Yeah. And then you and your mom got in on something. And then she did make it not about Trump,

which is what I was going to bring up. Does she often do that? Like it felt like it shifted from like Trump to like, and then she winked at me. Once he got real going, she looked at me and went. And it fucking, yeah.

Well, everybody in my family. family, mom, dad, you know, and the extended family that are like not blood relatives, but we're sort of like all adopted as our family. They constantly, like, they are always the one that brings up politics, but then I know more than them. And so I, and they're always teaming up on me, like, because I'm the lone liberal person there. So every time they bring it up, then everybody looks at me like, oh, we know you got something to say about this. and then maybe I'll ignore it, but then they'll say something insane, and then I don't ignore it,

and then I go really, really hard, and I start saying some stuff that they don't even know what I'm talking about because they don't actually know what the fuck they're talking about. They just know what they hate. You know what I mean? And so I'll start saying some shit, and then by the end of it, I'll always hear like, God dang, you just got to make everything about politics.

I'm like, I fucking didn't say shit. I was wanting to talk about the fucking Titans. I fucking hate politics. I resent my fucking career. I resent fucking everyone who fucking clicks any of my shit. I fucking hate it. This was supposed to be my fucking fortress of solitude. You cock-sucking pieces of shit.

No, I don't want to talk about fucking politics. But y'all brought it up and I know more than you. You sack a shit. So yes, when I feel ganged up on, I'm going to say something. So I know when she starts crying. And then she means over and says, yeah, he's the progressive one. Yes, exactly. It'll be that.

But then, like, Mom will say some shit or somehow say some shit. And I'll fucking go off. then like it'll be like I thought you were supposed to be tolerant of everybody's opinions. I'm like I'm not tolerant of intolerant fucking people or whatever the fuck. And then she'll then she'll cry and be like, I can't believe you would say this to your I'm like, oh, you fucking bitch because she don't, if my mom, because listen, my mom has only ever fake cried in her life. You know what I'm saying?

My mom has only ever, my mom has only ever done the was I speeding officer fucking cry. It's not real. So when she starts crying, I'm like, you're really going to pull this fucking bullshit hell Mary out at me right now just because you got dusted you know what I mean like you didn't know what like so yeah I mean we end up going back and forth and she'll pull the whole fucking like I raised you and I gave you food and I'm like oh yeah the government fucking makes you do that you dumb ass like you would have gone to jail if you hadn't had done that anyways I love my mom but like I do know I do know that the argument is completely over when she starts crying and then I'll

fucking have to leave I have a fucking conversation with my dad who by the way my dad might have even been the person that brought it up to fucking begin with. Like my dad, dude, let me tell you what my dad's on right now. We're at fucking family dinners. And instead of like having some light jazz music in the background, dad's got fucking Joe Rogan and Barstool clips playing on a loop. Really? Yes. Like during the fucking, like during fucking family dinner, that's just what's on.

Just in the background, just Dave Portnoy going like, what, can you not fucking stick your fingers up a bitch of skirt anymore in this goddamn country? And I'm sitting there going like, yeah, man, you know, I've just got to not say anything. I don't want to ruffle any fucking feathers. But again, I love my whole family. I genuinely do. But we really don't argue as much as we used to.

Are we going? Yeah. Well, that's, yeah, that went about the way that I hoped it would, which. You're just like my mom. Yeah, well, so how did this particular Thanksgiving go? I wasn't with them. On that front. Oh, that's right.

That's right. You were in Iowa. I was in Iowa. Matter of fact, I'm never with them. Like, I'm only with them for Christmas. And I got to say, like, I know I just did that whole. And part of that was like, obviously true feelings. There's, there's truth in comedy.

But like, a lot of that was just me trying to hit. But because now, luckily, because we have Laura James, like my niece, like, all of our focus is purely on her. So, like, she's really awesome because anytime I start sensing that like some bullshit's going down, I just grab her and start playing with her. And like nobody, that's over. You know what I mean? But this Thanksgiving, I was in Iowa, like, you know, I've told you before, my Iweegean

brethren, my in-laws, Iwosians, or whatever they are, they are as apolitical as it gets on one side and then on the other side, Democrats, because her papal was a union man, he was a postal worker.

But none of that ever gets brought up either. Like, I would hate, dude, I would hate to talk about politics that I like at Thanksgiving. You know what I mean? Like that's the thing. Like I see all these people like, oh, I bet you,

when you and Trey and Drew get together, you all are talking about the fucking comy method and all that. And like, you fucking hell no. We're not. Like, like, people think that.

They really think that we're just like, I mean, again, like I've got the things that I believe and I agree with, but that is not how I get down entertainment wise. Yeah, also those people clearly don't listen to the way we're at. No,

this is the most political we've been. Mostly just butthole stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I think all politics are farts. Yeah, I wish. No. Farts hit.

Farts do hit. Speaking of farts hitting and farts on the national stage there, we were talking in the group chat recently about... Rowland, Roland. A couple of, yeah, a couple of famous fartis from history. Roland the farder and also Le Petonain, a French... fart tour. I knew more about Le Peton Main than I did Roland,

but I knew a little bit about both. Yeah, well, I'm just wondering, like, okay, for people that don't know, both of these guys were, like, renowned for their farting ability. Le Peton Main was in, like, Victorian era, but in France, he was in, like, he was on stage at the Moulin Rouge.

He had his own headlining set at the Moulin Rouge, where he would, like, so he found out when he was a kid. They need to add a fourth verse of that fucking song. He went to, yeah, he went to, he was swimming in some lake and realized he could suck water up his butt

and shoot it out at will and he was like shit I can do that with air too well when you suck air into your butt then when you shoot it out that's just a fart that's just a fart yeah that's what the farts are so like so he had full control over his farting prowess and he ended up going pro which is a hell of a thing to have done and he had a whole

you think the first time he was like it was a pro at farting he was like kind of upset that he could never compete at the amateur level anymore. Yeah, right. Like now, it became, the fart Olympics, he's out.

It became work to him, you know, where it used to be his passion and that was just a job, farting. But he was like that lake, wistfully, sit by the lakeside and think about the days.

Back when farting was simple, you know. But he, he just walked straight into the lake and waited until the fart bubble stopped. He had like little, that kind of old McDonald-y type of, like,

with various farts that represented the animal noises, and he could fart like a cannon shot, and he could fart like a thunder clap, and he could blow out candles across the stage with his farts and things like that, and this is what a show consisted of. He could blow out candles? Yeah, blow out candles, yeah.

Because the reason is because that's not methane, he was sucking in. He's just sucking errand in. Yeah, I was more confused and impressed by the accuracy, distance, etc. Oh, right. Yeah, well, dude, he was, he was a pro's pro that's what I'm saying but it got me to thinking a I feel like that show would hold up today absolutely and B I kind of can't believe that with it with how our world is we don't

have it that is the second thing I was just about to say B it's very wild to me that we don't that it it's very wild to me that we don't have any prominent fartis in our society I agree. I was going viral. There's a lady that farts that I follow. The mile cop, the security guard, Paul Fartt. Yeah. And then, I don't know if this is what Corey meant,

but Only fans and the porn world has a lot of fartees. Sure, but like. But I know what you mean. Like, they're not selling out Carnegie Hall. Yeah, yeah, no, right. They're at the Carnegie Deli, you know, but. Like, this is apparently a more than, generational type of talent and ability here.

There's been two guys that we know of ever in recorded human history who had it like that, you know, but it's wild to me. It's wild to me that there haven't been anymore because I think if a new, you know, Fartiste emerged in this climate, they could do really well, you know, because like, because it's the command that's important. Anybody can fart. He had some good raw talent, you know, but he didn't have the discipline. pulling under the control, which is what's

really important. You've got to be able to do it at a moment's notice. I would absolutely love to see an around the horn type sketch about people discussing pro farters so much. Yeah. Yeah, I'd just like to say the pro fart. Me too.

Yeah, and people out there might know, because it's a pretty popular TikTok, I can't think of her name, but like, her whole gimmick is that she farts, and it's not necessarily, they are loud, you can always hear them, but apparently they're really, really rank, and she always farts on or right around

her boyfriend and it really don't hit for him. Yeah. And it hits for me because he's always like, you, I mean, look, they may be acting, I'm certain that there's some it, but like, if not, he always looks genuinely upset and disgusted to be in a relationship with this person and in the area with her.

And as someone who is in a relationship with a farter, I really relate to those videos, because my wife stay farting, boy. Okay, I know we've not. She's a pro. You holding your farts in public, but you don't be farting around her?

Yeah. So is farting not a two-way street? Your relationship is what I'm saying. Are you saying, like, why am I mad at her for farting when I fart? Yeah. No, because I don't go out of my way to fart on her. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, when I fart, I just fart. This bitch, just like, she will wait till I round the corner you know what I mean? Or she'll set up like proximity farts. You know what I mean? Like I'll look, I'll look coming down the hall and she'll be looking at me and then I'll walk through it and she'll just fucking start smiling

and she'll just like run off. You know what I mean? Like she knows what's up. Also, she eats like a fucking four year old. Like she has such a trash power. The hers are just like someday specifically. Ambers the type of person will be like oh, I don't know why my stomach's so upset. All I did was eat two cans of chicken for lunch. You know what I mean?

Cans of fucking chicken. Like, we ain't got it. Like, we, you know what I mean? Like, we, I can, like. I don't know anyone who's ever eating canned chicken ever. Yeah, no, I know. Because if you eat canned chicken, it should be because that's the only thing that you can afford.

Like, I'm not making fun of anyone who has to eat canned chicken. We do not have to eat canned chicken. do not have to eat canned chicken. And she constantly does it. And she doesn't, like, she's like, what's wrong with canned chicken? I was like, well, it's chicken in a fucking can. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but like, you're, it's normal that your guts is fucked up. Does she make chicken salad out of it?

Yeah, I think so. Sometimes she'll just mix it with roattail and just fucking ate. Okay, well, goddamn. Because I'm like. By the way, I'm not saying it don't taste good. I'm certain it does. I'm familiar with like the way you make tuna salad. The canned chicken looks like a can of tuna.

Yeah. It's the same type of situation. Right. And I eat that time. You take a can of tuna and you make tuna salad. Yeah. With canned tuna, you just do the exact same thing but with chicken. Yeah.

It's like a kind of like, you know, not gourmet version of chicken salad, which is pretty common, I believe. No, you're right. I was talking to my shit. As just eating a can of chicken. Some of it was on me. They have one. Do you ever see that thing? It's real.

At one point, you could buy a, entire chicken in a can. Like you put it out. I think they still have those in some places. That's insane. Yeah. It's the whole chicken just smooched in there. Before we move on from farting, I want to say,

Andy has a stated goal and dream of farting. Bear ass on my dead. Oh, like while it's in? Not while it's in. Oh, right. Like, here's what it happened. She farted on me when we were cuddling. once and I said

you almost farted on my dick and now all she wants to do is fart on my dick let her fart on your spake boat let's also gypsy spake boat she wants to do is like three gypsy speak boat song titles in a row

but she almost farted on my dick let her fart on your dick fucking all she wants to do is fart on my dick that's what she wants to do it was fart on my dick Man, we got to start. Somebody. I told this on Chance Willie's podcast,

and at first he just thought I meant, you know, like you're cuddling, but you got clothes on. And he was like, yeah, whatever. But then he found out that I meant naked. And he kept saying,

and it was so funny to me, Bear butt to Wiener. You want to go bare butt to Wainer? You can't let her go bear butt to wiener. But you won't let her far. You said it's a dream of hers, implying that she has a minute. Why?

Because a bare-ass fart is disgusting. You're just pooping on somebody. But you like stank. But not that kind. And I ain't letting her fart on my dick. And I told her, because she's like, I'm going to do it. And I said, if you do,

I will never cuddle you again. We won't spoon ever again. So that's the cost. And it makes you're furious, like genuinely mad because that's one of the few things I can take from Andy that would upset her. Dude, you know what you need to do since we were talking about gifts earlier,

for Christmas you need to get her a box, and inside the box is a piece of paper, and she just opens it up, and it just says, you can borrow my dick. But in like the allegrappy. Spend, like, $100 on a note that says you can fart on my deck. She has to put it together.

Yeah. To build over weeks, I'll be like, listen, you need to figure this out. You really want it. Yeah. I bet Amber will accidentally fart on my dick. Well, Andy almost did. She hasn't already.

She accidentally farted on my leg. leg close to my dick. You feel it? Yeah. Yeah, that's rough. Smelling its one thing, feeling it, totally different thing. Honestly, if she just asked, I might have, my ass might have been like, ah, fuck it. But knowing what it felt like on my thigh?

Okay. Transferring that to my dick? No. She needs to pick her spots, though, because, like, if y'all were about to get it on and you were, like, in the zone, and she just went, can I fart on your dick? I bet you'd be like, yeah, fart on my dick. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, if she just asks you while you're laying in bed, can I fart on your dick? It's like, bitch, get the fuck off my dick with your farts. I do know what you mean. And there is a lot of things I would say yes to with an erection. I don't think that's one of them. And it's not even like, I don't think I'm better than that. I also don't think she'd be into it in that moment. Right.

She only wants it if you don't. Yeah, she only farts on my dick. So speaking of gypsy's bait boat, those song titles is a pretty good segue. Yeah, whoever out there is keeping up with those, add those to it and run them back to us later. Because I know that somebody out there has a Rolodex or Gypsy Speedboat songs.

That's a good segue. And another thing I wanted to bring up, which is, do you remember Pinkard and Bowden? Yeah. Yeah, the prank call people. No, no, no. Hold on. Pinkard Bowdo.

They were a comedy singing duo. Yes. Yes. Yeah. The other day, I know I've talked about before on here, I have this thing. I'm sure a lot of people do. Maybe everybody does. But I'll oftentimes wake up with just some random song, that too, but with some random song in my head.

And I don't know. It must have been in a dream I had or something. But it could be just completely don't. How much the song hits for me is totally immaterial. It could be. Usually goes the other way for me. Yeah, right. For sure.

But not always. But anyway, another day I woke up thinking about that song and thought, and then it brought back a whole slew of memories about those dudes, Pinkard and Bowden, because I remember been at my mama cat's place or my other me, mom, pa's house or whatever, and there would be these, like, commercials that would play all the time, probably on, like, TNN, the Nashville Network or something like that. God, that station hit for me.

For Pinkard and Bowden, this comedy country duo, And the song that I woke up with in my head I hadn't thought of in years and hadn't thought of them in years was Mama, she's lazy. Yeah, I remember that song? You're talking about why I'm not a judge. Yeah, yeah.

It's a take off of Mama, he's crazy, crazy over me by the judge. But except it goes, Mama, she's lazy, lazier than me. Yeah. And in thinking about it, I decided to go and look up the lyrics, you know? Hell yeah. you did. I bet this might be some sexist

shit, boy. I mean, it is, but it's not as bad as you would think. I don't think. Oh, damn. Say, before you read them, did you remember that from a commercial that had multiple songs on it? Yes, right. So, yeah, I thought of that, and it brought back this memory of, like,

if you're of a certain age, you can remember when they used to have commercials for, like, albums, compilation albums and stuff, where the titles would scroll through the screen, and then they would switch. They would switch every seventh or eight song and play a little snippet of one and it would keep going. It was awesome.

I love that shit. Do you remember the other ones? I got one. I lobster but never flounder. I remember that one. She thinks I still cars. Cars. She thinks I still cars.

She thinks I still cars. Yeah. That one. That's fucking great, dude. That is great. Dude, Pinkard bowed and fucking hit. Yeah, right. So.

What are they up to, Dad? Probably thereabouts, you know, but so. Mama, she's lazy. She goes, Mama, I found someone. Like you said, I took her home. She has no stout. She has no snout, but there's no doubt. The biggest pig I've ever known.

I thought that she would help me out with the laundry and the chores, but there are those who won't wash clothes, and guess who's scrubbing the floors. Mama, she's lazy. Lazyer than me. And on my couch is where she sits. She's always going to be. I've never slept that long.

She beats all I've ever seen. And then, you know, the rest of it, you know, there's later on. She's always in a trance. She's hung up on the movie stars on the afternoon TV. And now I'm concerned she ain't worth a durn. And I can't even get her to leave. Mama, she's lazy, lazier than me. And then it goes on from there.

But also, yeah, let's look up some of the other pancaries about it. One of their songs was called I'm going to beat the cheat out of you. It was, it was, and it's on their album live in front of a bunch of dickheads. That's the other thing that was wild about them that I didn't remember or recognized from no. from those commercials that played all the time is that they were like, they cussed and stuff.

Like they were not like G-rated. Like it was a big deal and you know, the country world back then. But they also had some, like there was one I saw called Libyan on a jet plane. Like leaving on a jet plane by John Denver,

you know, but it's about then. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. They got fudge packers in disguise. What? Yeah. Since my baby turned gay is showing up on her, the poop shoot boogie. I got to say, since my baby turned gay by then, probably very awful and problematic.

But that could be a genuinely great country song. Yeah, for sure. They've also got propane instead of cocaine, you know. Oh, yeah. But, Joe, I was wondering. If you knew, so you remember them and all they hit and whatnot, do you know who co-wrote a great many of their songs with them? Like most of their big songs.

I don't know, but I'm going to just wager an educated guess. Well, no, because the way you're phrasing it, it's not obvious. Because I was going to go with, like, Ray Stevens, you know, or a young Cletus T. Judd. Your guess is who? Co. David Allen, Co. no Tam Wilson

oh you know what that's literally that's one of the reasons I know Pinkard and like that I knew about Pinker or Bauer and even when I got older like as a kid I remember

those things but I remember him talking about him yes you were correct Tim Wilson by the way you know this little fact about Tim Wilson you know who played

on the drums for pretty much every single Tim Wilson album I know you've told me this before leave on helm leave on him yeah

That's so badass. Yeah, that rules. It does rule. Yeah, Tim Wilson referred to Levin Helm as the world's greatest American. But, hey, while we're here, if you're out there and you don't know who Tim Wilson is or Pinkard & Bauer, you should look up all their stuff, especially Tim Wilson and buy all of his stuff. Rest in peace. He was my comedy idol. Great guy.

Should we take a pause? Yeah, let's take a break real quick. And we're back. Hit and break. Yeah, I remember being living in Knoxville. and just started doing stand-up, and I wish I'd remember this guy's name. I wonder if you know who this is, Joe.

Like, I bet you probably worked with this guy, whoever it is. Was he a huge sack of shit that was at the end of his rope? I bet I did. I just heard, so I was at sidesplitters all the time, and he wasn't coming through side-splitters. I just heard radio ads for this guy's show. He was playing some other venue, but I can't remember where.

I don't think it was like, I mean, it might have been the Bees-U, but I don't know. But anyway, and I heard all these radio ads for his show, and he was like a Pinkerton Bowden, Cletus T. Judd type, but I had never heard of him. And they played some of his songs, and the only one that I can remember was

Cletus take the real. You don't remember the guy's name? No, I was, like, did you? You used to, like, work with Cletus, right? Yeah, I did. Is there ever anybody else that you were aware of that would come through? Tim Hawkins? It wasn't Tim.

Tim's pretty big now. Now, this was... Wait, are you saying that was Tim Hawkins, Drew? Yeah. Tim Hawkins is from Louisville, Kentucky. Tim started comedy around the same time as my buddy, Del J. I think. And he's a, yeah, he's in the Christian world now

and raking it in, you know, as I think. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure... Tim Hawkins... From Louisville, Kentucky. Yeah. Yeah, no, I never worked with Tim, but I definitely knew of Tim. him and have known of Tim pretty much my whole comedic life.

Yeah. But yeah, no, I don't think Cletus, those guys, I think with those guys, it's like, they're always separate. You know what I mean? They don't like work together. I mean, maybe they wrote the songs together, but like, Cletus isn't going to have that guy opening for him or vice versa. Right.

But, yeah, no, I think by the time I started the comedy catch, Tim Hawkins was already like, like you said, doing the Biju and shit like that. Right. Yeah. Well, that makes sense. It was wild to me because I remember hearing him, and I guess it was, was the B's year, maybe even the Tennessee Theater. I don't know, but I remember thinking like, that's wild.

I never even heard of that guy, but if it's a Christian, Christian world thing, then that completely makes sense. Yeah, he also got really big on, like, back when you could get big on Bob and Tom and stuff like that, he did, you know, like, there was a moment there where, like, I mean, dude,

I know people to this day who are still able to have pretty good road careers because they were real fucking popular on Bob and Tom, like, 15, 20 years ago. And I'm pretty sure that he popped off. He also did some like crank calls and stuff like that.

But yeah, I definitely remember him from my time back in the day. Yeah. What about Coletus? What about him? Well, you worked with him, right? I did, yeah. Yeah, man. Well, you know, how'd that go?

Barry's a great guy. I talked to him probably, I want to say, two or three weeks ago, just, hey, how you doing? you know, random text from time to time. That was weird because that was like, in hindsight, it's bizarre because like, you know, we ended up touring together and being buddies

and I even sang backup on his hit song, double D Cups, which of course, as you know, was a parody of Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith, which was fun. But like, when I was touring with Cletus,

it was a very wild moment for me because he was like one of my heroes when I was a kid, you know, which is weird because I didn't go into exactly what he did. Like, I don't do musical parody. I mean, like, my comedy always has some sort of a musical element to it. I'm a pretty sing-songy.

There's Drew, he's gone. I'm a pretty sing-songy type person. But Cletus was like the dude. So, like, when my buddies from back home found out that I was, like, touring with Cletus, it was a really, really big fucking deal. Like, as a host or feature inform or what? Like, did you like just also drive somewhere and meet him or were you like traveling with him? It was me and it was me and Big Ed and Big Ed was featuring and I was hosting.

And it was cool because the way Cletus would do it was I was hosting and going first, but he would let me do a little extra time so he could do a little less, frankly. But he would actually come out first and introduce me. He would get like he would come out. His fans would be super hype to see him. And then he would, you know, be like, all right, I got. a sweet treat for y'all which was which was great because it was it was way better than you know coming up cold or whatever uh so that was pretty cool i ended up not he ended up firing me um and we're

again we're still buddies but it was weird for a minute because this was when we were touring together this was during the whole casey anthony thing and yeah where is this going well it was during the whole Casey Anthony thing and I had a joke I can't remember the joke at all but in the joke Casey Anthony the mama is the bad guy alright

like in no way was this joke like I'm glad she stuffed her daughter in a fucking car you know what I mean like it wasn't that like it was making fun of the odd dad again I don't remember the joke but like it was making fun of the audacity how stupid it was like they found out that she'd googled

chloroform or so I don't know what the fuck it was. And anyways, I was doing that joke and it was doing really well. And one night, Cletus was like, hey man, I want you to stop doing that, that,

uh, Casey Anthony joke. And I was like, and being being stupid, I go, oh, you got one. Are you doing,

are you doing a Casey Anthony joke? And he was like, no, it's just that like, I don't think you should, I don't think you should make fun of stuff like that. Uh, and I was like,

what? And he's like that. A little girl died, you know and I go yeah yeah no I know I'm talking like I'm making fun of the mom like not the death situation he's like he's like look man I have a daughter the same age of the little girl who this woman killed and instead of just being like yes sir I won't do the joke anymore thanks for having me on tour I just go fuck does it matter if you got a goddamn daughter the same age as what the fuck does that have anything do with anything you know what I mean like the fucking shit ton of people out there laughed at that

goddamn joke, got young kids. Like, what are you talk? What are we even talking about? And I got so defensive over it that I didn't get, I was told not to come back on the tour. And I fucking literally died on the hill for a Casey Anthony joke. It was just, and in my mind I was like doing the right thing. I was like, no, you're supposed to

stand up for your fucking material. He didn't, and in my mind also, Cletus wasn't a stand-up comedian. You know what I mean? Like, when we were on the road with Cletus, me and Ed were like helping him tool his act into more of a stand-up act and he got it there really good

and so in my mind I was just like he just don't know what the fuck he just don't know what the fuck is going on and how it goes you know well as it turns out I totally should have just been like okay man whatever you want I won't do that you know what I mean like I should have just done that but I didn't how long would you have been you know that oh not long

I think it worked more though it was yeah it worked that and again we still talk like if if I'd have done that and he would have been mad at me I would have been upset about but he's not like we've talked since then. There's no bad blood or anything. And I hope that I didn't come across. Like when I was just on here talking about,

oh, he don't know what the fuck he's doing, that was me. That's how I felt then. That's not how I feel now. You know what I mean? But it was cool. I'm glad I got to do it. And there's a lot of my buddies who were still like, they think I'm hot shit because I, you know, sang on double D cups with Clayt's. Like, that's my best credit to them.

How, uh, you said he wasn't a stand? I guess I just always, how do you start? something like that. Like, how do you just, I just assumed he was going to, like, comedy open mics and comedy show, you know, because there's been plenty of,

there's been plenty of musical comedy acts, and I just assumed he was one of those in, like, Southern clubs and stuff. Yeah, I don't know, man. Not ever having known the story.

I just knew it was around Nashville, wouldn't he? Yeah, I think he was straight up just recording shit. Like, he was just writing parodies and recording him, and there was no, and like his shows came after.

I don't know any of that. Like music music. Well, he pinkered and bowed and bowed, they were in Nashville trying to do it for real. Right. And the joky stuff was just them fucking around. And of course,

that ended up hitting in none of their serious stuff ever hit. Yeah, well, with him, I don't know because, like, all I know is, you know,

when he started doing stand-up, he was coming and he was doing his songs, and he would tell stories in between. And then I opened for him when we met, and he talked to me and Ed about it and was like, you know, I got all these stories,

but I'm not, I have, haven't really ever done stand-up comedy like i've never done that but like a club is the only place for me you know and so we were just like yeah we can hell we'll we'll hang out with you go to shows and like punch all that shit up and turn you from just a long uh form storyteller into that can be turned into comedy which like you know they were already funny stories anyways but i don't know that he i guess when he yeah like you said when he went to open mics and shit he was just doing his songs but though unless he did then and just chooses not to now he's

don't play instruments during his shows. You know what I mean? Like, he just has a track. So that would be going to an open mic and being like, here's a tape. I mean, maybe that was a thing. I don't know. No, you're right. I was probably wrong. I just assumed he had a guitar, too.

I didn't. So he just sang. I'm not saying that he didn't at one point, but when we went on the road, he had his tracks. Yeah. Yeah. So I went for him in Knoxville. I was the MC and Big Ed was the feature.

probably after Corey got fired. It was. I guarantee it. I showed up and Bridget was like, listen, I don't remember if Ed was there and Cletus wasn't or vice versa, but it was like, somebody's not coming. We need you to do 25. And I was like, all right, well, you're going to have to let me cuss and talk about religion and talk about drugs.

But that's fine. And then she looked at Ed and I started chuckling and then she was like, you're such a piece of shit. I was like, you're talking about. she's like, we were fucking with you. And I was like, okay. She's like,

you don't have 25. I was like, bitch, I got 30. You just want to let me do me like it. Anyway, that's hilarious. That's so fucking funny.

That's very much a thing I can, yeah, see her doing. She's thinking you're going to like shit to bet, you know, be like, what? Hold on.

I will. Watch me fuck with this kid. It's also so funny, too, to think about a baby comic when the, the booker goes, you ain't got 25.

Bitch, I got 30. That's fair? No, I know it's funny. This is at the end, dude. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking hilarious. How hard y'all go on Thanksgiving, by the way?

Ooh, I went, yeah, we started eating at two, and I didn't stop until six. I went real hard. We had stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, beans, greens. Do we had the salad that my friend Audrey brought from Trader Joe's. I'm not going to lie, my favorite thing. Salad? Yeah, the dressing tasted like heaven. It looked like cum.

Nice. So you said stuffing just a minute ago. Y'all do stuffing, not dressing? Stuffing, dressing, I don't know. I didn't make it. So I'm not sure what it was. Was it in the bird ass? No.

Okay, then not stuffing. Well, now, I don't think that's a universal thing. Stuffing has to be stuffed. Not everybody makes their dressing as cornbread dressing, but in order for... This is cornbread dressing for sure. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. I know that stove top comes immediately preceding it, and I get that, but there's stove top stuffing.

Yeah. Which is never in the bird. Also, I know, because I... It shouldn't be called stuffing, though. All right. This is not a hill I'm going to die on. but I in advance of y'all hear that right

yeah a little bit yeah that's fucking Katie's computer ringing that's okay tell that's when her phone ring who lets a phone ring for that long are you kidding me how many phones even can

ring that one what the fuck anyway is that the way she don't answer the phone because she opened a skin What the fuck was I talking about? Oh, I was going to do... So I just Googled like stuffing recipes, right? And if you do that, you're going to find a whole shitload, almost none of which...

Go into bird. Normally they say, if you want to, you can shove all this up the bird's ass, and that's fine. But we're going to describe it the other way and you don't have to do that. Pretty much every recipe for stuffing. if you look up stuffing is not going to be actually stuffed in a bird. It's going to be made in a pan. That's fine. They're the one saying it wrong, not me, though, is what I'm saying.

Okay. All right. Well, I'm just saying, like, you know, I feel like terminology can, you know, can change. I'm not going to be mad at anybody for saying that. All I'm saying is, in order for it to be stuffing, it must be stuffed into a fucking bird's ass. And if it's not, it's dressing. Such a southern progression. progressive paradox.

Fucking guys can be girls, but goddamn stuffing goes into the bird's ass. I'm just saying that's what the word even means. It's stuffed in there. It's stuffed into the bird's ass. Like, if not, you made a good dressing. What pronouns, Corey, will allow.

But he has a fucking line when it comes to bread. Because that's what that word means to be stuffed. Every type of dressing I ever had, turns out we've talked before on here last year, Thanksgiving, I think. I never even realized

what the fuck dressing was, actually. Like, when I, we were going to have our first Thanksgiving in California. Actually, I don't either. You probably told me. And I was going to, and I was going to cook it all. And I was like, I was like, yeah, I got to have dressing. And then in my head, I was like, wait a minute.

What the fuck is that? What the fuck is dressing? Like, it's just, that's just dressing. You have it. It's wet bread that hits. Right. It's wet bread that hits. It's pretty much it's just fucking bread.

Yeah, cornbread. Specifically, all the dressing I ever had in the South. ever on all sides every side of the family everywhere ever went always only it was cornbread dressing i know that's the way i didn't i didn't even know what that was okay but i know now it was always cornbread dressing right then you had like there's you can get the instant box mixed stove top stuffing and that is which also a stove top stuffing could be made in a bird by the way yeah but the stuff To me, stuffing and dressing are two distinctly different things. And it's not just like, I feel like they're different.

Like, I made stuff. I agree. One of them goes inside of a bird and the other one. But I know it's a different recipe too. It's bread. Like I made, I use this like, there's this, uh, this brand of like white bread that's just stupid fluffy called like artisano or something like that. Yes.

I know what you, I know that one. a briosh that is like a goddamn temperate pillar right so that's the go-to bread for p b and jays and like around this household so we had some artis and oh bread and i left it out overnight on purpose so it can get stale because you're supposed to do that yeah and i made and i followed this stuffing recipe to make that and it was it hit so motherfucking hard but was very very different than like my Ma Ma Ma Ma'a's cornbread dressing. It wasn't as grainy.

I feel like it at all. So I feel like if I gave that to Ma Ma'am and I was like, here's my dressing. I'm calling this dressing because I didn't stuff it up a bird's ass. So therefore I got to call it dressing. I feel like my memo would be like, that ain't fucking dressing. I don't know what the fuck this is, but it ain't dressing. Well, she's being stupid too.

Because I think if I called it stuffing, that would play. That would play just time. because dressing is the other thing. They are different, I feel you. But like I also know, like, because in Iowa, they do, I don't know exactly how they do it, but it's a dressing that's made with definitely a different type of bread than cornbread. You know what I mean?

And it's good. It ain't what I like, but it is good. But like, I've always just said it's like, this is, that's cornbread dressing. You know what I mean? Actually, when I was a kid, it was just dressing. That was just what it was. But then I got older. It's like, oh, cornbread.

It's a different type. So, like, yeah, no, I mean, your ma'amaw would be within a rights to not know, I guess. Because, like, why would she have ever had anything different? Hell, if I didn't marry Amber, I would have never had anything different, neither, I guess. Didn't think that Amber would be the one that would fucking broaden my horizons, but hell. You guys are broadened in mind kind of right now. I mean, I've certainly had bread stuffing. I don't know.

I think I'm with Trey. On what? It's not a thing you can be with someone on. I think bread is dressing. it's if I mean I think you need to if you are from

if you are from I'm not telling you fucking people don't call it that people do call it that if you're from the shared culture that we all are from I feel like you need to

differentiate between those two things and I don't know how else to do it and I'm saying one thing if you call it stuffing you're going to need

to call it that whether it comes out of a bird's ass or not what the fuck do you call it? You just say this is, this is dressing, but I didn't, you could just say this is dressing, but I didn't make it with cornbread.

Why do you have to be succinct with your goddamn grandma? She's going to stand in front of me for a second. I didn't make it with banana pudding. My fucking bitch of a grandmother did that one time. My fucking bitch of a grandmother. We were at fucking Thanksgiving, at fucking Thanksgiving. We were all sitting there and she was like,

so she told us all, she's like, because she made a pretty good banana pudding. And she was like, I made banana pudding this year and we're going to have it for dessert. But I made it special. I did something different to the banana pudding. And I want to see who can figure it out. I bet nobody will be able to figure it out.

I swear to God, we sit down. She dumps it all on her plate. My uncle Jordan takes one bite and goes, there ain't no fucking bananas in here. And she was like, and she was like, oh, you could tell. We're like, yeah, we can fucking tell. It's banana pudding.

You didn't put no bananas in it. Just a tricky? Just, yeah. Just to like. Prove that people didn't like the banana? That it didn't matter? Yeah, I know. And like, don't get me wrong.

The fucking just pudding slop with whipped cream and nilla wifers still hits. Yes, extra, extra read all about it. It hits, but like, yeah, she was just like, she was like, I didn't feel like chopping up bananas. And it's like, well, then fucking don't do any of it. Yeah, no wonder he cheated on it. No, he didn't. I don't think. She cheated on him a lot.

Oh, I confused the pap balls, my bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I often confuse the papas. No, it happens. It does happen. Yeah, we had a good one. I ate way too much. I had like, you know, three full meals and some like oyster stew snacks in between.

Because, you know, we do, in Iowa, we do Christmas also. So, like, I had two days of it. We did the night before Thanksgiving, we did Christmas, two full meals. And then Thanksgiving, two full, three full meals for Thanksgiving and shit. So, like, I really put my fucking so. I'm not kidding. No exaggeration. In those two days,

easily 11,000 calories. Easy. Hell yeah. Yeah. I bought shrimp for our snacks. We were just straight eating shrimp cocktails, like some luxurious motherfuckers. That's a move.

Drink half a bottle of whiskey. Nice. Then broke home. that's hilarious fucking gen x man yeah man my buddy louis got his age and his persuasion brought us some kind of rum

that was like banana flavor they'd been using it for mixer but like he was like I like it by itself it tasted like fucking dessert I thought Mark I was like he's going to hand us to Mark Mark's going to throw it against the wall you know what I mean like it's supposed to burn that's how you know it's working

but Mark really liked it too so you know, it was drunk at my house. I can see Mark fucking slamming a bottle of liquor against the wall going, I don't want my alcohol to make me smile when I drink it. God damn it, that's a very Mark thing. Close to burn it. Yeah, I roasted a whole chicken, made mashed potatoes, made stuff in it didn't go on a bird.

Dressing is what you made up. Do you make weight of your drippings? What kind? Yeah, not giblet, just like dripping. chicken gravy, you know, take the dribbins. Which hits? It's easy. I mean, you just take the drippings and throw flour in there and make it into a paste.

What I mean? Did you make it in a place of a pan? What'd you like? No, I didn't make it in the pan. I mean, I know you can do that, but the pan that I always roasted on top of a shitload of carrots and onions and stuff. So the pan's full of other shit that heads. So I always scooped the drippings out to make the gravy in a pot. But I'm asking even then into a stove top pan, or did you mind?

or did you microwave or what did it do? No, no, no, into like a sauce pan on the stove. My friend Eric, who's a lot like Mark in his particularness and demeanor, he sent me a video of a chef he follows that he respects very much. I think he's actually out of New Orleans, beard winner, all that. He microwaved just great. He says it does it even. There's no lumps.

And he sent me the video, and, you know, this is a beard winner. And it's just straight. It's not jibble, it's just straight. up dripping gravy, but it looked good as fuck, man. There's plenty of people I know who are super legit that microwave their bacon as well. I am one of them because... My mother-in-law does that and it hits. The first time I heard somebody say that, I was like, immediately went to like, Sacrilege.

You don't do that shit. But it just cooks it all fucking even and you don't burn yourself. So now that... You don't have to, but that does hit. Now that it's been made about me personally, I'm a little more upset about this stuff and dressing situation because... It's not. What do you mean? because I because of reasons I've already explained I put it off on you didn't do anything wrong you didn't do anything wrong I put it off on my ma'ma earlier but I the stuff that I made I cannot call that dressing because I didn't make it out of cornbread

no matter then it's not cornbread dressing and I'm with you right and that don't mean anything but it ain't goddamn stuffing I'll go fuck what you I mean you can by the way you can call it stuff and I never said you couldn't I said it's fucking not okay there's a whole nationwide branding of mainstream commercially available products called stuffing that do not get stuffed up a bird. And the whole rest of the country is just fine with it. There's also plenty of nationally branded Greek yogurts that fucking Greek people would never fucking claim.

I'm like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I hear, but people just started calling it that. People just started calling it that. People follow, which makes it Greek yogurt, you don't have to have a fucking dude yogurt. People just started calling it stuffing because, and then companies like, look, this is what they call it. So we're going to call it that.

I'm just saying it fucking is called stuffing because you put it in a bird's ass, but ain't that it's dressing, but it's fucking fine that you call it that. You can also make dressing up a bird's ass apparently. That's stuff dressing. Trey, have a question. I genuinely don't know the answer to this, and I think it bears on this conversation a lot. This nationwide marketing deal calling the stuff stuffing,

is that only the stove top stuffing? Or can you just buy stuffing that don't go up a bird's ass and they don't call it stovop stuffing? Because I feel like, I don't know about that, but the other thing I'll say again that I already said earlier is if you go on Google and you type in stuffing recipe, you can go through 70 goddamn five of them and 74 will be made in a pan in the fucking oven. And it might say on there, if you want to, you can shove this up a turkey's ass, but this is how we going to do it. That's fun. So clearly there's a bit of a consensus here.

They don't want to call it something different, but it is different because it ain't stuffed. Wait, wait, wait. There's so many, this is just semantics. There's so many. I agree, and that's why I'm telling you, it's fine. And now they don't. And I'm telling you, it's fine. You're the one that's fucking mad.

Hold on. There's a lot of food that was named after the way it was made, but we don't have to make it that way anymore. Pancakes, little cakes, you know, you can make them like a grill. What? I'm with you. That's what I'm saying. This isn't a novel concept.

We do this with all kinds of words and things all the time. And we shouldn't. You're fucking acting like just because we do something that means it's okay. Our whole fucking belief system is based on that not being true. The liberal redneck motherfucker, like you're the one who's refusing to change. No, I'm not. You're being rigid and holding to these old archaic fucking rules.

Yeah, the old archaic thing is that you called it, we have to call it stuffing because we have always called it stuffing. That's what you sound like. That's you right there. I'm the one wanting to come up with a new fucking word. I'd sing the song Thank you all for listening to The Well Red Show We'll stick around

But we got to go To tuning next week if you got nothing Thank you God bless you good night and skis Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha