wellRED podcast - #251 - Runnin' On Fumes!
Episode Date: December 15, 2021This week the boys discuss the lack of gas stations in rural area, booze, and whether or not Corey deserves respect. Go to WellREDcomedy.com for tickets to shows!...
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And we thank them for sponsoring the show.
Well, no, I'll just go ahead.
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I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life.
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I can be one of those people.
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People across the ske universe, I should say.
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Do you even know?
Do you know how much you spend on takeout or delivery?
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They're the liberal rednecks they like cornbread but sex they care way too much but don't give a
fun. They're the liberal rednecks that makes some people
People upset, but they got three big old dicks that you can sun.
You know something we talk about a lot on this show, but a lot of people constantly have questions about is we always talk about dirting and doing dirt.
Trey, how long have you been durton?
And also, what is dirt for the people out there that don't know?
Lord, I don't even know how long I've been dirting.
Long time.
My old dirt head, but that's the, Dirton is taking Kratum, also known as Speci.
And we talked about it on here before.
I mean, I'm a huge advocate.
I've made fucking liberal redneck videos about it and whatnot before.
You made documentaries about it.
That's true.
Well, I've been in documentaries about it.
Yeah.
But yes.
That's making more.
That is true.
And it,
Kratem is a,
it's an all natural herb,
botanically related to the coffee plant that's native to Southeast Asia.
And it's been used for centuries over there to help energize your mind and relax your
body.
And I would just say that it,
it definitely works and it's super duper hits.
Again, it's basically like my coffee, the way that other white people
be messing with coffee, that's dirt for me.
And I've been doing it for a long time and it's had nothing but positive effects on my life.
So yeah, I'm all for it.
Yeah, same.
I've actually, it's to me, it's a long time coming for us actually partnering up with
an actual Kratum company because it's something that we've been talking about and
advocating for years and like, yeah, I use it.
Coffee is still my coffee, but Craterman coffee together, I find to be a perfect combination.
That sounds like Andy, you know, I do it, I enjoy it.
I have a lot of fun with it from time to time.
But Andy really kind of has used it.
And look, I don't know what we're supposed to say.
And this ain't FDA approved, but it has improved her life, her mental health.
you know, she, she swears by it beyond just like, oh, it makes me in a good mood.
Like, she swears by it as like something that's kind of made her regular mentally,
made her feel better overall.
And that makes my life easier.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not certain that we're supposed to say this as a matter of fact,
but I can just tell you anecdotally in my life.
I'm just saying, I'm putting it out there.
Like, this is a personal thing for me.
But, like, it really helps the whole not doing other stuff that's bad for you.
you part of my life.
You know what I'm saying?
I think that's like a kind of legal way that I can say,
what everybody knows what I'm trying to say,
is that like,
because of Kratom,
I don't really find that I need to do other things
that otherwise might not be great.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, 100%.
So if you're intimidated or anything by Kratum,
you ought not be,
because what you can do, you can get the capsules.
Corey's a capsule, man.
I am.
They're very easy to use.
They're just, you know,
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You could take those.
The cratum comes in multiple different strains.
There's green.
There's white.
There's red.
Many people start with green.
That's probably the most popular.
So I would recommend that.
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Appreciate you.
If we use that code, is that insider trading?
I think so.
And that hits for me.
Yeah.
I want to, I would love to, I don't want to get in trouble for insider trading,
but I would love to be at the level in my life where people suspected that maybe I was insider trading.
You know what I mean?
I would love to be accused of insider trading because like that implies.
I bet you do some insider horse trading at some point in the life.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm certain that I have done some.
sort of like low level white crime that I don't know about like there's no doubt in my mind I hope
no CPS you're listening or whatever but like there's no doubt in my mind that I've accidentally
claimed something on my taxes I shouldn't have or should have done one and you want to
talked about this the other day me and trade 100% have committed tax money yeah but
I hope this shit doesn't go viral because you're fucking right I haven't meant to which I think
is important it's huge it's huge Joe Zimmerman
Zimmerman had a great bit one time about, I'm going to butcher it, but the premise was like,
it's so wild how important taxes are when like the government goes, hey, you owe us money.
And you're like, okay, how much money to owe you?
And they're like, you guess.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's way too important for it to be the way that it fucking is, especially with dipsets like me.
It's almost like they want you to do it wrong.
You know what I mean?
It's also that they know how much you owe them.
I guess you file your taxes because you may have write-offs that they wouldn't know about.
Yeah, right.
But other than that, like, just tell me, give me a bill.
Send me a bill.
Right.
Send me a bill.
And then I'll go, okay, but I bought a computer, so maybe we'll subtract that.
But, like, send me the fucking list.
I don't ever know.
Like, at the end of the year, it's always like, we think it's this.
And I'm like, fuck, I hope it is.
Because, God damn, they took Wesley Snops saying, I know I don't stand a chance.
He just didn't pay them.
Now, you can't, there's not, you know what I'm saying?
I've always heard.
It's not like a good defense to.
Yeah.
I just didn't do it.
I've always heard, like, Jim Ross used to always talk.
about because he was the head of talent relations for WWE for a while.
And he used to tell his talent because like wrestlers constantly would just not pay their taxes.
And he would always tell him he's like, guys, listen, at least file.
Just file.
Like if you're not going to pay it right now, but if you're going to get just fucking, if you file,
they won't be nearly as mad at you.
And it's something that you can sort of plead ignorant on.
But like, if you just don't file, your ass is gone.
Like it's over.
Hold on.
We're talking about JR.
Yeah.
jr while he was being jr yeah he also was oh yeah the president of town no
nobody there does one thing yeah for sure really i never knew that but he wasn't just like the
voice of the dubia or whatever he also was having to like be kind of HR for yeah fucking
wrestlers for sure yeah that has blown it blows my mind too that there's a lot of those
motherfuckers that like that's the case like you think they're just what's you're laughing at
The idea of HR being a guy named J.R.
It's so fucking on the nose for wrestling.
It's like, hey, we got HR?
No, we got J.R.
J.R. Yeah.
Junior resources.
But yeah, it's, but no, yeah, he was the head of talent.
Like, he was also the one in charge of, which means that he's the one in charge of payroll and shit.
So, like, he would be announcing like all these.
Yeah, dude, he was announcing all these pay-per-views and like, dude, to hear him tell it, like, it's kind of crazy.
I don't know how their structure is.
now. But back then, you would have like a pay-per-view, right? And so like, however much money the
company made on the house and however much money they made on the pay-per-view, the talent got 33% of
that, right? Now, how that 33% was divvied up amongst the talent was absolutely at the discretion
of JR and Vance and like all those dudes. So like it wasn't like a, yeah, you were on this show
and your fee is this. It was like, no, everybody made this, but we thought you hit the hardest,
so you get this and you didn't really hit that hard so you get that and like he yeah he was constantly
yeah yeah that is insane to me too i can't believe that that didn't i've just figured especially
like most prominent wrestlers the ones that hit there's definitely like there was some dudes that
had like contracts that stipulated exactly the amount that they did there was guys with downside
guarantees who no matter what were getting paid a certain amount a year but a lot of these were like
bonuses and stuff like that and but some of them dudes absolutely didn't like
Like the downside guarantees, I want to say started during the NWO time.
Like that was when everything kind of like changed.
Like, you know, Hogan going to WCW and a lot of these dudes are like,
all right, if I'm going to stay here, I'm going to have to get like an actual salary.
Because used to there was like no salary whatsoever.
Like it was just like, look, man, if you hurt your leg and you miss wrestling,
we don't go to fuck who you are.
Like, you're not getting paid this week, you know?
Corey, can you tell us why there's been less, why there's not been more murder in wrestling?
like because that sounds like a good recipe for somebody getting murdered.
Just somebody feels like they have a good pay-per-view and then Vince and J.R.
I don't agree.
It was definitely been the cause of people getting their ass whipped.
Like J.R. getting punched included and there's definitely been instances where dudes walked because of that.
But like I think what it is really is that like that was the culture that it always was for these dudes.
Like when they came up through the territories, they were always.
they were always like, yeah, sometimes you get paid 20 bucks.
And it was just very much a, especially in WWE at that time,
it was a don't-bite-the-hand-that-feed situation because they were fucking only game in town.
They were like, okay, cool, you think you deserve more?
Fucking great.
Go wrestling Toledo in their circuit.
You know what I mean?
We're New York, buddy.
Who gives a fuck?
This is all me pulling this directly out of my ass.
But, like, they're definitely with some ass-woping.
Yeah, it's crazy.
But, yeah, so many of them dudes, like, you know, Bruce Pritchard, when he was like,
like the head writer he was also doing talent relations and doing all sorts of other shit like
all of them wear so so so many hats at all times it's pretty fucking wild what was the king
that would jerry the king luller like when he was sitting beside jr what else was he doing do you
know i'm fairly certain that he was primarily yeah he for sure i'm pretty sure that he was
definitely primarily just the voice because he was also doing some indie wrestling too at the time he
as I've heard him say many times,
he still to this day considers himself
primarily a wrestler first.
Like he still works, dude, I've seen him.
Like, I've seen it, like, two years ago,
I saw him fucking pile drive,
Mance Warner through a goddamn table in Chicago.
It was rad as shit.
I was wearing his crown while he did it
because he left it on a table.
I don't think I should have told that, but yeah.
But yeah, man, it's a, it's a wild.
That shit's a wild industry, man.
And there's a lot of like so many parallels between starting out in comedy and starting out in wrestling, like, you know, the open mics and the bringer shows and stuff like that.
That's what I was going to say is like, like, we took abuse.
I mean, I remember.
Yeah, but not like that.
No, not like that.
No, no, I meant people treating you like, like business practices that are unacceptable anywhere.
The business practices are very similar because it's like, again, in almost every situation for a young comedian, the club owner in our case, or.
the territory runner in the wrestling case knows that this young comic or this young wrestler
needs them more than they need the young comic.
You know what I'm saying?
Like there are enough people that will easily fill these people's shoes.
And like that's just something that like, you know, that's an endless cycle that feeds into
itself that we,
that we unknowingly or knowingly or whatever fed into by going like, yeah, should I be
doing this bringer show and only getting paid $5 if I bring 50 people?
absolutely not, but I want to
fucking get on stage and this is the only way
they'll let me, so I'm going to give in to it and then yada,
yada, yada, it keeps on going.
Don't hit. So I don't want to put either one
of y'all on the spot, but I guess I'm going to.
I know that this weekend, when we
were in Florida, both of y'all said
you had stuff you wanted to
tell on here.
Yeah. Oh yeah, I wanted to hear
Drew stuff.
Okay, so
some people probably saw me post.
I was at the Knoxville Airport,
And it was like storming outside.
And in the video, it looks like a hurricane.
It's not.
But like there's like gallons of water hitting the window.
And my flight kept getting delayed.
And I was sitting there and I'm like, well, I could stay here.
And I might make my flight and might make my connection.
Or let me go on the internet and figure this out.
I can go to Nashville and get a Southwest flight for $90, but to Fort Lauderdale.
Fort Lauderdale is the wrong fort.
There's too many forts in Florida.
I set it on stage.
Y'all don't need this many forts anymore.
You got Florida men.
You don't need forts.
Just have a fucking ICP conference.
But I went to Fort Lauderdale.
That's two hours from the show.
I prepay for gas.
I get in the car.
I look.
I'm going to get there at six on the nose.
I take off driving across Alligator Alley, I think they call it.
I'm doing 90.
What is Aller Alley?
Just the highway there?
It is a I-75.
I think that's what they call it.
as it crosses a lot of Indian land and a lot of national preserves.
It's swamp.
There's nothing.
I'm doing 97.
I know because I have the cruise control set.
I got passed by seven people in an hour while I was doing 97.
Everything from a Lamborghini down to a fucking rice burner or whatever.
It's the most Florida shit I've ever seen people weaving in and out traffic.
But the part that I didn't tell you about, I told Trey about it, Corey, is,
I prepaid for gas and still almost ran out of gas because the car wasn't full.
And there's just no gas stations.
I saw a sign.
I swear to God, I saw it.
It said, next gas station, 30 miles.
I had a little over an eighth of a tank.
I was like 30 miles in this Kia hybrid, I could do that on a pint.
30 miles ain't shit.
I never saw the gas station.
I'm doing 90s, so I'm starting to get nervous.
according to the computer,
I ran out of gas
eight miles before I got to a gas station.
So that day started
at 6 a.m.
going to the Knoxville airport,
then making Andy drive me to Nashville,
flying to the wrong airport,
then driving three hours across Florida.
And I was just laughing at the idea that
all that,
and I still almost missed that show
because I almost ran out of gas.
It died in the gas station parking lot.
Like a fucking movie.
Yeah, yeah.
I did seven miles with the computer saying that I had, you know, it has the range.
Yeah.
If you run out of gas in this many miles, it flatlined seven miles away from the gas station.
This is something I've been thinking about a lot, actually, because a couple weeks ago, I was coming back from Alabama, and I had 58 miles until empty on my, my car showed that, 58 miles still empty.
And I'm like, okay, well, I'm fine.
fine right now, but I'll definitely stop
at the next gas station.
You know, no problem.
Well, according
just to that, there
wasn't a gas station for another
50 miles. Like, I never saw a sign that said there's not
but there wasn't. There was one exit
where there was a gas station, but
the gas station was closed
and it wasn't one of them situations
where like, yeah, we're closed, but the gas
pump still works if you have a credit card.
You know, like most of them are
and fucking should be. And
like it just like enter my mind at that moment like I don't know who to even talk to about this but
like that or not be legal like it ought not be like just how the Eisenhower interstate system
is set up that every mile has to be straight just in case of a war you can land a fucking plane on it
it ought not be 60 plus miles or 30 plus miles without a gas station that at least if not
operated by a human being is accessible to a son of a bitch with a goddamn credit card because
I about ran the fuck out of gas with no one to call, no one to nothing.
No, no, I don't know what the fuck I'd have done.
So that's fucking bullshit.
And if I'm running, if I ever get to be president, we're going to put an end of this shit.
All right.
We'll put in the bill, you know, the big thing with the bills and the policies, you just add stuff to them.
You keep adding your own shit.
I don't know why.
Maybe it's by choice, but it seems like it's not.
You know how Indians got casinos and they're allowed to have them?
Yes, I do.
They already are allowed to have gas stations without the regular gas tax.
taxes and bullshit that Exxon has to pay because they're killing our environment.
Do the other Indians not have that?
Well, I'm sure they have gas stations on reservations, but the prices are probably exactly the same.
I mean the different.
Yes, he means like two shards Indians.
And I wasn't being an asshole.
They already got all the gas stations, I believe is what Corey was.
Okay.
Well, we gave the gas station for the wrong Indians.
Yeah, but like there is some sort of tax thing.
I think I could be wrong.
We need...
So expensive partially because of taxes.
Now, the taxes in theory go to fight environmental issues and stuff.
I'm not sure if that's how it works, but I'm not saying I'm against it.
What I'm saying is, Indians Oort have their own gas wells.
They ought to be able to sell gas to people at whatever price they want and rake that money in like Cassini money.
Put that in your bill too.
Gas or be free.
On the reservation for Indians.
And they can charge the white man, whatever they want when he failed to...
check his rental car.
I'm for that.
I agree with all that.
Yeah.
I mean,
you know,
there,
if,
if somebody could be making money
having a gas station
in that place where
you couldn't find a gas station show,
then there would be a gas station there.
Yeah,
no,
I know.
There needs to be like,
government gas.
That's what I mean.
There should be.
There should be that.
Yeah.
I mean,
I'm not trying to be funny right now,
but like,
that's true.
There,
there ought to be at least some
federally subsidized pumps that like even charge whatever the fuck i don't know but like in an
emergency situation like i about fucking it's like two or three in the morning and i'm in god damn
rural alabama that is not where you want to run out of fucking gas i mean granted i'm a white guy that was
fine and tray my my drive was an hour 15 or an hour and a half maybe somebody could have made
money there it has to do with the land and i get that and if the indians don't want a gas station
then no but like you know they or let them
maybe where you're at, you're talking about it like a preserve or something.
I think it's half reservation, half preserved.
And I, well, I mean, I'm, are you saying preserve or reserve?
Both.
It's a reservation and then a national wide.
A nature preserve.
Preserve, okay.
I've never really heard that word.
Like the Everglades, the swamps and shit down there.
Right.
Like, you can't get pro gas stations all over to goddamn swamp, but don't hear for the lizards.
Like, I mean.
Yeah, I get it.
And by lizards, I mean, alligators.
Yeah, I know.
Not the Jews.
Yeah, right.
The actual lizards who live in Florida.
That's a callback to us learning that lizard people's racist, everybody.
It's not trying to be racist.
That was a callback from 47 episodes.
But there's definitely big stretches of places in this country where there ain't no way.
And there aren't b.
And it's just because it's barren.
And I don't know that I agree with you that there are.
like just you don't do that
like don't
people make mistakes
at the middle of goddamn nowhere
at three in the morning
if you ain't got no gas
like 58 miles left
is what I'm saying
I had 58 miles left
that doesn't you
when you have 58 miles left
you think to yourself
I can get to the next one
and then there's not a next one
maybe there was a fucking sign
that said hey dumb ass
you know you might want to get gas here
but like you know what my theory is
How are we supposed to know where all to put these little free gas pumps at?
Put them everywhere.
There's 50 miles from, there has to be a gas station every 50 miles.
Think about the goddamn Dakota's and the Montana.
Good.
They need them more than anybody.
And I fucking care about those people and you don't.
I fucking, they need it more than anybody does.
No, they don't.
There's nobody out there.
And they got gas in the back of the truck.
I guarantee you all those people are pretty much fine with the state of their gas station economy.
All right.
Messages.
messages.
I think Tray's right about those people being fine.
Fuck you and fuck him.
I think we're also running into an environmental problem with what you're suggesting.
I know.
Yeah.
Probably.
Okay.
Well, we should have hybrid cars, really, is what it should be.
That's really what it should be.
But like, we never going to, but nobody going to do that.
But, you know, we, there.
Okay.
I was in a hybrid and about ran out.
And you know what I'm realizing?
I bet some Florida asshole chiseled off the one.
I bet that sign says next gas station.
130 miles and somebody chiseled off the one which is a hell of a joke that is a pretty good joke
and uh we'll be right back after this yeah he froze did he please for you no i didn't i did that on
purpose you drove 130 miles without hitting the gas station
it was it was over 100 because i was doing 97 at least at first and it took me an hour and a half to get to it
yeah well that's wild so what was your thing joe i wanted to talk a little bit about breaking my sobriety
um and how utterly not worth it it was which is good um you know i had talked before about how i
really enjoy uh going for like four months stretches of being sober and then getting like super
fucking hammered because I call that a reset.
You may remember. I'm like, sometimes you've got to reset.
You got to get drunk just to remind yourself that being hung over ain't worth it.
And like every single time I've done it, that has been the case.
But this has been the first time that like it didn't even take me being super hammered
in order for that to happen.
And so I think that like this is actually the start of a new lifestyle instead of where the other one
was like me sort of pissing against the wind.
You know what I'm saying?
But now it's like, okay, I think I have turned a corner because the other day is my
birthday.
Now, I wasn't going to just drink because it was my birthday.
The reason that I got so antsy and was like, fuck, I'm going to drink is because
partially of what Drew was just talking about here, he thought he might be late to the show.
You also, right, right, right.
But, like, so late that I was going to have to, like, possibly do the whole show myself.
For a second, there was a possibility that I might have to do 90 minutes.
which is something I've done before, but something I ain't done in a while.
And I was sitting there thinking to myself, I was like, dude, you can do this,
but by God, you're going to need to have a couple beers in order to do it.
And I already kind of put my head in that zone of like, all right, dude, you're drinking
a night because you've got to give the audience something, and Trey and Drew aren't going to be there,
and you're going to have to call an audible.
So I kind of already put myself in that mindset, even to the point to where when it became
clear to me that that wasn't going to happen, I was already like, fuck it, I'm having a beer,
which is so raven because my whole goal was to make.
it to this coming weekend and I and I made it like four almost five months and literally
couldn't just get the home stretch like I broke a week before my original goal which is very me
in my opinion but I think that's like when an NFL team loses and a lot of them are like it's
kind of a relief it's a good loss to talk about it anymore yeah exactly it's a good that's true it's a
good all we wants a Super Bowl we didn't care about the record right get it out of the way but usually
when I've done these resets, I have gotten
like torn down, absolutely
knee crawling, 5 o'clock
in the morning drunk, and then went like,
yeah, that of course wasn't worth it.
I'm not doing that again. But this time, man, it was
completely different because, I'm going to lie,
the first beer, amazing.
Like, holy God, it was fucking awesome.
The second beer,
slightly better than the first beer.
It really set the first beer off.
Third beer, I'm not kidding.
As I started in on the third beer, I immediately
went, ah, damn, I don't like this anymore.
more. Like it was already over. You know what I mean?
And then like we had a good time. We did some
shots for my birthday. But I woke up the next
day going, I could have been sober and had just as much
fun with those guys. And I'm happy.
That makes me like really happy.
I know it doesn't hit for Trey, but I think
I've turned the corner.
No, that's fine.
Shut the fuck.
What?
You don't hit for you. No, it don't.
Yes, it does. No, it don't. You want me to eat
corn dogs and drink Jack Daniels. I don't
care about any of that anymore either.
Like, I don't.
You want me to do it.
You've caused us all a grove, Joe.
No, I don't.
Because if you're doing it, you're going to be trying to get me to do it the way I wouldn't.
I don't do that.
I don't do that.
I don't do that.
You literally, just Saturday night, you were like, take a shot.
Come on, take a shot.
It's my birthday.
Take a shot.
And I was like, I don't want a fucking shot.
But then when you said you didn't, I said, okay, cool.
No, I still ended up taking a goddamn shot.
It's on you.
One of them.
The second one, you were anyway.
So I'm just saying that's a good example.
but like I don't want to,
I don't have no interest in doing none of that shit anymore either.
It's kind of a bummer though,
isn't it?
Me and,
me and Trey tried to both simultaneously
or back to back,
I mean,
pull the move.
He tried to put something on my tab,
but I'd already closed out.
And then I tried to put something on Forrester,
and she just brought me a shot of old Forrester.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She just goes Forrester,
and I go,
yeah,
and she just came back with whiskey.
Yeah,
it was like,
it was fine.
I had fun while we were at the bar
watching that band,
but like it very like out to the dead Atari's a very good Florida bar band they were awesome
I thought they were fucking great but if I had just been high I would have also enjoyed him
but like is there part of you that like you kind of feel like you're I'm more happy I think
than sad because it's like oh great I've I've grown up to where I can enjoy my life without
being hung over it's kind of like a cheat go but are you kind of sad because it's like you know
turn the page a little bit no no because I
Like, I'm, I feel like, so.
I just feel like I'm boring now.
Just so everybody knows, I made it to the show also.
We never even mentioned the fact that I also was running late because it was storming all over the south.
So my flight got delayed in Atlanta.
So me and Drew were both running late to the show, which is why.
Yeah, by the way, as hollow as this is, like, whatever our fucking uppity version of thoughts and prayers are with our friends in Kentucky,
and everywhere across the south right now because that was a that's it's been very very devastating and
well we'll go a little one better than that let's say it this way if you're there on the ground and
you're doing work or you know the people who are getting food to those folks trying to out there
to feed the people who are cutting down trees and getting things back to normal let us know who it are
who they are we'll give them a platform and give them some money for sure yeah i know our buddy matt
daily has reached out and maybe we can have him on next week or something uh but yeah it's it's
It's really, really, really rough.
And it's one of those,
it's one of them things that actually
or be and maybe is bipartisan,
like this shouldn't be controversial.
You know what I mean?
Usually I feel like when something terrible happens,
we have,
there's some sort of angle.
But in this one, it's just like,
no, man, fucking weather.
Well, I guess global warming, huh?
There's that.
It's definitely global warming.
Yeah, right.
You're right.
You're right.
But either way,
fucking all jokes aside.
Life.
Yeah, all jokes aside,
like if you're, if you're, you know,
out there and you're suffering,
get at us and, yeah, like I said, like Drew said,
we'll give you a platform and figure out how we can help.
Yeah, for sure.
I don't know what to add to that.
I also feel weird going back to talking about drinking beer now.
I mean, fine.
I guess I will.
So anyway, we made it in time and it ended up being fine.
But that same reason, but in reverse was the first time that I drank anything after we
stopped drinking a few weeks ago.
was we had a show in Seattle and Corey was possibly not going to make it.
And I was stressing out about how to handle that situation.
And I was like, fuck it, I'm going to drink some beers.
And it was raven beer.
Yeah, that was the brand.
It was something like that.
And then what happened was I had a really, really, really good time at that show.
And the show went really well.
And then I was like, huh, imagine that.
you know so like but what i have found used to for me
if i drank at a show first of all i never go on stage drunk when i say drink at a show
i mean like i have a couple of drinks before i go on stage just to sort of loosen up a little bit
that's all we're talking about and but used to then after the show was over we go to a bar
that was nearby or even just a hotel sundry if they got booze there whatever like and i
would keep drinking is what i'm saying
and stay up drinking and all that.
And now I feel like death the next day and then fucking whatever.
But like I don't I don't do that anymore.
And I have no, it's not hard for me to not do that.
I would have to force myself to do that, in fact.
And I have no desire to.
So like, I'm kind of just, yeah, I'm good with my current relationship with alcohol.
I mean, like I can have a couple of beers.
and get the sort of like loosening up benefits of it.
And then I can stop and drink more water and stay up a few more hours after that.
And then I'll, and the next morning I'll feel fine.
And so like, and then when I'm not on the road or if I'm just at home or whatever,
I don't ever drink and I won't ever drink.
So like I'm just kind of not worried about any of it.
I'm just going to do that, I think, and it'll be fine.
I don't have to make it a thing.
I don't like making it a thing
because I don't feel like I'm not
a fucking alcoholic and I'm not
genuinely. I know me either.
And I don't and so
I don't like turning it into a thing.
I get it. It's not the booze.
It's the, let me rephrase it.
There are certain things
in my life that I would
not have experienced were it not
for alcohol and drinking
it in excess. And a lot of those things
were super fucking fun
and I've met a lot of super cool people.
because of those experiences, is there any part of you that is maybe a little bit, not nervous,
but like it's kind of bummed out that like, yeah, you know, that part of it's over,
like the whole like having the great story that otherwise wouldn't have happened.
That's what I'm worried about because, yeah, I'm going to feel better,
but what exactly am I going to be reporting on?
I'm worried that I'm getting boring.
FOMO.
Yeah.
Shut up, man.
Being boring hits for me.
I fucking love being boring.
It's true.
He does.
I really do.
don't really have much though.
I have no interest in ever doing anything.
Okay.
But like.
That's fair.
I don't care about.
Nobody going nowhere.
No.
I'm going to know that.
I'm going to do Molly and mushrooms.
And also like I'm probably going to have a kid next year.
I'm just going to be home with the kid.
Like yeah, I guess I'm like you're, I think you're just talking about the sadness of
youth.
It's not even the sadness.
I'm worried that like look at me in this jacket.
Like this, oh, you have to keep drinking.
Like, everyone listening right now on this podcast and at home is like, yeah, dude, we're just
humoring you.
This is really beautiful.
We love you.
But like, a few more months.
Yeah, man.
It's like, what are you going to do?
What am I going to do?
Do you a fucking football coach?
I know.
Like, you're the Chuck.
Yeah, right.
Like, Trey is.
The chief hitting officer.
Yeah, I know.
Like, Trey is intellectual and nobody expects him to, you know, wake up with his dick and a
pumpkin or whatever it is they expect that of me.
But like with me.
We're all just humering you on your.
white woman journey that you're on your
eat, pray love right now, and we support you.
But yeah, you've got to go back to drinking.
In some way.
Or get a boat.
Or, yeah, getting a boat would hit.
Or like, or find a different
relationship. Yeah, that's true.
Or find a different relationship to weed.
I'm in a good place with weed right now. I don't know where
y'all are because we all have our cycles, you know,
of like sometimes...
If you become a weed comic.
No, I'm not. I will never do that.
It could work. No, it couldn't. I don't like that.
I'm not.
I don't mean like use weed and only talk about weed.
I mean,
but I could get fucked up on weed and have similar and have cool experiences because of that.
But I don't want to be,
not that there's drinking and we've been talking about it for six fucking months.
So I'm just saying.
Yeah, that's true.
Maybe I am an alcoholic.
I do bring it up a lot.
Well, speaking of, this is related to that and I'll hit for you guys.
Corey, can you blow me up?
Can you put me on like the main thing?
Yeah.
So y'all probably won't notice this.
And a lot of it is kind of that my beard is a little crooked wherever.
Y'all have talked about my Taco Bell's palsy before.
Yeah, I don't think we've explained what it is, but go on.
So it's a sleep-related situation.
Also, aka Slotism.
I have slautism.
And it's a stress thing.
It's the muscles in my face.
It's nerve damage.
I mean, it is Bell's palsy.
It's a mild version of it.
I drool a little bit when it happens when it gets worse.
But we were in Florida.
We were drinking.
I didn't get a lot of sleep because of that.
And then last night was Andy's birthday, I didn't drink or anything, but I was out with her,
and then her and her friends kept me up until 4 a.m.
Does the fucking work.
Do you see how crooked my face is?
Yeah.
Like the beard's kind of had it, but it's like droopy.
Yeah, I was going to comment, but I thought it was different.
It's drawing up on this side.
It's like starting up.
You look good, though.
Like, you look like it's not full Picasso.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I just look a little off.
Like, if you didn't know me very well, you wouldn't notice.
But I just thought that would hit for you guys.
that five days out from filming, the Taco Bell's palsy is back.
Yeah, but, you know, crooked grins of real thing,
and that's kind of what you look like you've got.
Like, it's not, you're not full corso or nothing, you know what I mean?
I think the only thing that looks weird is the eyes.
If I don't really make sure one of them looks real droopy.
Yeah, I'm, hey, I'm speaking of which, yeah, guys,
if you don't remember us talking about it for the past ever,
we are recording,
filming things at Zanies
this weekend, come see us.
I think there's still tickets
for the Thursday show,
the early Friday show or something.
I think it's just Friday late,
because I could be wrong.
Okay, well, either way,
go to Well,
they released tickets
because we didn't need as many comps
as we thought.
Okay, well,
it's down here at the bottom
if you're on YouTube,
well-redcomedycom,
W-E-L-R-E-D-com for tickets.
And that's going to be
the end of this leg of the tour.
keep saying the end of the tour, that's not really true.
Because, I mean, we go right back at it January 16th.
And as most people that follow us know, this tour is kind of just in perpetuity.
So we'll be back at it after a tiny break to hang out with our friends and family,
which I'm certainly looking forward to.
But, yeah, my head's still at Zanis right now, man.
I'm super, super, super pumped.
That's going to be, you know, this is also going to be the first time at Zanis that we don't get totally,
totally wrecked.
But I think that's going to be good, too, because that's just to me, that's extra hot chicken.
I'm getting wrecked Saturday.
I think I'm going to have a couple,
but I don't know if I'll continue into the night
because genuinely I didn't really have fun the other night.
I mean, I did.
This is a perfect example of what we were talking about earlier.
I haven't said anything about it,
and I wasn't going to say anything about it.
But up until this past weekend,
you have said countless times to me about Saturday night
in Nashville.
About Saturday night in Nashville,
you have said to me like,
dude, we're getting fucking tore down that night.
it's going to be stupid.
It probably still will be, by the way.
We're waking up naked the next one.
We're going to be fucked up.
Okay, fine.
This is what you want.
No, listen to me.
Listen to me.
And I, I have not said anything about this, but I, internally that whole time, have been like, yeah, I don't really want to do that.
Oh, good.
Okay.
I'm going to have a couple of drinks, probably.
But I don't want to get fucking obliterated.
But you had been drinking.
this whole time.
That just don't hit for me to do anymore, but I didn't say nothing to you about it.
Right.
But now that you're, I was just like, yeah, okay.
But now that you have, you know, drank once in Florida or whatever, now you're like,
yeah, that don't hit for me.
Yeah.
Well, that's good, right?
Good.
Yes, it is.
But I'm saying I'm proving to you.
Yes.
That what I said earlier is true about like, I'm, this is fine with me.
Okay.
I'd like to say a couple of things.
Okay.
It don't serve my interest.
It doesn't.
First of all, I think y'all are not taking into account the relief, the pressure, the tension, all the things that's going to go into what's happening this weekend.
I think I'll jack off.
And then that first beer hits you, I don't think you're going to plan on getting torn up.
Also, we're lighter weights than we used to be.
I'm not planning on drinking to a four in the morning.
But what I fully expect to happen is for the beer to take.
really good.
And me to not stop drinking until they stop.
And in about two hours,
or three,
me to have consumed eight beers
and a shot at tequila.
And without planning it.
And then go to bed.
I'm going to pass out from exhaustion.
Also, historically,
I think we even talked about this before,
the times I've gotten the drunkest
were the times I swore to God
I wasn't going to drink much.
And the times that I've really not done shit
is the times I was like,
we're fucking doing keg stands,
and then I end up having like four and I get diarrhea and then I go home.
So part of my whole new deal with drinking and I'm like to just sort of counter what Drew was just saying.
Like one thing I have noticed, maybe you don't or haven't, Drew, is that like,
it hurts.
Now, before I'm done, like as I'm doing it, I get a little bit of the way into it and I'm like, oh, this ain't hitting for me.
And I like want to stop.
Like I don't see it creeping up on me like it used to before because before it's like it's hitting for me and you have to make yourself stop or else you get in trouble and you don't do that.
And so next thing you know you're hammered.
But now it typically I reach a point pretty early on where I'm like, I'm kind of done with this.
And like and I want to stop and I don't think that'll be any different Saturday night.
But we'll see.
I totally feel that, but I do think it'll be different because.
We'll also be around friends.
It'll be around friends.
It'll be a lot of tension, energy, followed by relief energy.
And I just think that that thing you're talking about will come a little later.
I'm definitely not going to, like, be mad at myself if I do get a little too drunk after especially that.
You know what I'm saying?
But, like, yeah, man, like, honestly, after three beers and, like, maybe one shot the other night, which, dude, for me, that used to be, like, Sunday morning shit.
or like just getting going shit.
My fucking belly was so sour, man.
I was like, ugh, God, this don't, like this ain't it.
Also, I'm sure everybody's going to love hearing about this.
First time I've had diarrhea in like five months,
which I go, oh, my God, this is how it used to be all the time.
You know what I mean?
Like, I can't fucking go back to this.
My body was like in shock, dude.
I literally shit for almost six hours straight.
I mean, like, shit got all.
off the toilet, got to the bed and went, oh no,
walk back, shit, repeat
for six hours straight. That ain't it.
Have we discussed
what you're wearing? I don't think so.
Is that a jacket? Yeah, so Jimmy Hart
Jacket, mouth of the south.
I think the green's fucking on my head.
Can you open it or do you have nothing on under it?
Yeah, you can open it.
Okay, I see it now. Yeah.
It looks like a life jacket, but with
sleeves. Because the green and the green screen
was, yeah, yeah, yeah.
doing a little, yeah, no, it's a
Jimmy Hart chalkline
jacket, you know, I have a bunch of these
wrestling gimmick jackets, sort of my thing.
Now that I'm not drinking, I've got to be
extra loud in my attire,
I think, is the move I'm making.
It looks like a...
You think people respect me?
No.
What people?
Not the people I want to,
I guarantee you that.
You got to understand a lot of people don't respect Trey, you know, because he's a comedian.
So if you put that jacket on, you're not helping.
Yeah, right.
I love this jacket, though.
It's real sweet.
Fucking got a big old picture of Jimmy Hart on the back.
I mean, it's also funny.
I mean, I know, you know, you were just hitting.
But, like, the idea that somebody who wears that jacket and does the other things that you do would ever even.
care that other people respect.
You wouldn't look at that guy and think that guy would be like,
do you think people respect that?
Right.
I know, it's so funny.
I waffle between the two.
Like,
sometimes like I don't give up.
We know you waffle in that.
I don't give,
yeah,
I don't give a fuck.
And then sometimes, yeah,
just sitting there staring at myself wearing a rub.
Like,
do you think people love me?
So do you...
Love and respect are very different.
Do you ever...
Are you ever, like, out and about or something?
And you, like, catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror?
Oh,
wearing one of these things and you're like and you're like what is that yeah and then it's so funny
because like it's it's either I have no middle ground and y'all both know this it is either I catch a
glimpse of myself and I go what sort of clown car come to life bullshit have you are you and then
sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of myself and go son you hit so hard like you like no one on earth has
the goddamn confidence to be who you are and pull off the things that you wear.
It is just absolutely fucking unbelievable.
You're going places.
And then that's, then like the next mirror I see, it'll be the complete opposite.
So yeah, I don't know.
Those places are rehab.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a pretty, yeah, I'm a pretty manic, depressive type feller.
You know what I mean?
Let me ask this related to that.
Just get back to this respect question.
I would assume that love
means more to you.
Am I wrong?
No, I don't give a fuck.
Like,
like,
my mama and all them,
they're always going to love me.
Oh, I don't mean familial love.
I know you don't care about your family.
No,
no,
I know what I meant was that,
like,
what I meant was that like the people who it's important to me
if they love me already do.
Yeah, yeah, love might be the wrong word.
It would appear,
it would,
I would think that if somebody,
said the Corey Forster is the funniest person I follow and I think he's great.
And then somebody followed it up and they go, well, if somebody followed it up and they go,
do you respect him as a person?
And they went, uh, yeah.
Would the, uh, bother you?
You said as a person though.
But the other stuff implied that they respect me as a performer.
You know what I'm saying?
Sure.
If they didn't like me, they wouldn't respect.
Like you, you're not a fan of someone if you don't respect what it is that they do.
That's the very nature of like respect, right?
Like you, you would like, every band that I like the band, I'm like, I respect them as a band.
Now, as human beings, there's plenty of bands where I'm like, no, I mean, fuck them in real life.
You know what I'm saying?
I guess what I'm getting at is I would assume with you that there's probably a lot of people who don't really know you
would see you in that jacket.
Yeah, right.
Like, I don't know, lawyers, politicians or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they'd be like, no, I don't respect that guy.
Oh, yeah.
And then somebody would go, well, watch this.
Do you think it's funny?
As long as they said yes.
You wouldn't give a shit.
I wouldn't give a shit.
Yeah, I wouldn't give a shit.
I don't think I'm built that way.
Yeah.
I think to my detriment.
Like,
because to me,
like,
if you respect me as a performer,
then that's,
that's just as good.
Like,
I can't,
I can't help the other part.
And like,
I would totally understand.
You can't help the cartoon jacket.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's what I do.
You know what I mean?
Like,
whatever.
But, like, that's also,
like,
the line.
What's on you,
dude?
If you don't like,
if you don't like me dressing like
an eight-year-old on acid.
Like, what am I supposed to do?
Also, much like the wrestlers who have inspired me as much in comedy as any comedians have,
the line between who I am as a performer and who I am as a person is often blurred.
You know what I mean?
I think people just worry about you more than any same when you say stuff for that.
Trey, what's your thoughts on this topic in general?
I have been sitting here for much.
He doesn't respect me.
I know that.
He does not respect me.
thinking to myself,
should I wash my hair
after this or because it is
hitting.
It is hitting right now.
I got to get on a plane tomorrow.
It won't make.
Because you like wearing hats on the plane.
Yeah, right.
So it's like,
so maybe I should.
And that's where I.
So anyway,
so what if somebody said that you hit
but that didn't respect you
with a hit for me?
I guess like what means more to you?
The idea that people respect
like who you are as a person
or man as a man.
How about this?
Hold on just a second.
validation of like, you know, being known as a hidden comedian.
I want to hear Trey's answer.
I want to hear Trey's answer right after we take a break.
Okay.
When we come back, Trey, we want to know if people respect you.
All right, Trey, don't forget.
I think that, like, I guess I sort of agree with what I, the bits and pieces I picked up from what y'all were saying.
The bits and pieces you picked up while you were disrespecting us.
While I was thinking about my hair and stuff, yeah.
Like, Corey, I think I agree with.
of what he was saying, which is just like, people, if you, what, do you mean just people
acknowledging, like, are you talking about people who are like, yeah, that guy, he's got
a thing, and I guess it is for people, but he fucking sucks.
Or just, like, a lot of people, a lot of people don't respect what we do in general, right?
Like, it's like, felt like it was about, like, that was really personal.
Well, I guess I mean, it could, I mean, I mean, sure, but there's a million.
of them. The way I would phrase it, Trey, what I'm asking you about is the guy or gal who's like,
oh, that clown? Yeah, I guess he's good at being a clown. Yeah. Whatever. That's great.
Yeah. Ray? I guess it would upset me because I feel like people don't think that about me,
Drew. Right. That's like that. I'm with you. Buddy, I'm like you. But not me.
Well, that's why I ask Corey the question. I envy Corey this part of his personality to a certain
extent. It's like not important to him.
What's not important to me?
That people think anything positive about you other than that you're fine.
That's, well, no, that's okay. Okay, that's fair.
That is definitely the most important thing and has been my whole life. I am starting to
maybe shift a little bit. But like, as long as one thing.
Burn his jacket by the end of this podcast. No, never, never, never, never. I do also now do things
that aren't just stand-up related or just comedy-related.
As long as people are like,
as long as people allow me to shift and do other things,
that's fine too.
But like, yeah, if someone is like, look, man,
no matter what, I think you're funny.
I respect you as a comedian.
I'd be like, yeah, anything following that,
I don't care what you say.
That's awesome.
Appreciate you.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, what about people who don't really respect comedy?
I think you just don't care about those people.
Yeah, whatever.
Like, I don't, it would depend on how, like,
serious they were being about it and they could say some things that would make me
like really upset but if it's just somebody that's like yeah i don't like comedy whatever but
if somebody was like oh i don't respect you or any other comedian i guess in that case i'd be like
well at least it's not personal but like god damn how i had it because i had a buddy one time
who we stopped being buddies because of the i didn't realize it we were like really really good
friends like really good like first dude i ever smoked cocaine with you know what i mean sure and and uh you know
and so we were buddies and we hung out all the time and we dated the same girls and we were just
always around the same circles and like it went from hanging out all the time to like I just didn't
hear from him ever and then then all of a sudden it's like I haven't fucking talked to this guy like five
goddamn years and I'm like what the fuck now I was doing a lot of comedy at the time so I wasn't
really seen a lot of people and one of my buddies came up and told me when I was like they told
me that they had gone to his wedding or something like that and I was like man you know I
I don't know what I did but like we were like best of friends and like I
I just, he just stopped hanging out.
I mean, they go, yeah, we actually talked about that.
And I was like, oh, is it like political or something?
They were like, no, he just said that he can't respect someone that makes their living telling jokes.
Like, literally, this is what this motherfucker said.
Like, and before that, I was just a hot, like, I was doing, I guess this is when I went pro.
You know what I mean?
All of a sudden he was like, oh, never mind.
I can't.
But it literally was just, I don't respect this person because this is how they make their living.
You less when you went pro.
I went pro yeah yeah and then by the way this uh this was before our book and before we really really started hitting this motherfucker has since come up to me and congratulated me on everything talking about how he always knew and he always told everybody because he don't know that these people told me that he said that you know what I'm saying so like that is a real thing wait a minute you say you said this when you went pro when I started actually making a little bit of money like not I wasn't like touring full time like running like running like running like running like running like running
dog and anything shit like that.
You're talking about before
pre-hap.
Our shit started.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
But you were doing nothing else
about comedy at the time.
But our shit hadn't started yet.
Yeah, but I thought that was a setup.
I thought trades would be like,
yeah, I don't respect you then either, because.
No.
But like, dude.
Just that guy,
like, obviously it wasn't about
just somebody who makes their living
telling jokes, that obviously wasn't true.
Now that you're like, you know,
actually successful.
Yeah, right.
He doesn't feel that way anymore.
I think he's just bullshit into your face.
I think he's just bullshit into my face.
I think, I think you smoked all his cocaine and fucked his girlfriend.
We were never in the, like this time that he was praising me for all this,
it was the first time we'd ever even really been around each other for a while.
Like, I think it was just one of those like, he felt like he had to say something to me
because we used to be, boy.
I fucked his aunt.
And I just remembered that.
I see, I knew it.
I nailed it.
Oh, my God.
You guys heard me said.
I think you smoked his cocaine and fucked his girl.
You fucked his aunt.
And then he told everybody you were a loser because he didn't want to say he fucked my aunt.
It just now occurred to me.
So instead of being like, he's not invited to my wedding because he fucked my aunt, he didn't want to say that.
So he said, he's not invited my wedding because I don't hang out with losers.
I totally fucked his aunt.
Fuck.
Sure.
But there's absolutely a type of person.
Was his name Ronnie Van?
We'll pretend it is.
Yeah.
Corey Foxx Ronnie Van Zand.
There's absolutely a type of person who's like,
they hear, you know, you're a comedian
and they're like, you know,
that ain't from a duper money for nothing.
That ain't working fucking, you know.
They also said the other thing they say that in that money for nothing, Tom,
Timmy.
That guy lives in his,
that guy lives in his grandma's house.
Yeah.
Like, that's fucking, get a real job, you fucking loser.
That's what they think.
and it's like they make it about stand up.
They're like, you can't, because they're like, that ain't real.
But then, but if you like write a book and get on TV and fucking are going around the country and all this stuff,
then those exact same people, I feel like I almost have to like begrudgingly.
And it sucks because.
I guess it is real.
So I'm saying.
And they don't realize that one of those has to happen before the other happens.
I know, but they don't know anything about any of that.
No, I know.
I'm just saying I know people who I feel like I could see feeling that way pre and post hit being very different in terms of how they looked at the whole scenario.
Whenever this comes out on Wednesday at this point in the podcast, I guarantee you my friend Sarah is going to be texting me going who the fuck, who is that?
Do I know him?
Who is that?
Do I know him?
I fucking can't wait for that shit.
But it was me, Sarah.
Yeah, totally boned his aunt.
by marriage for the record.
Yeah, but twice.
And removed.
So you fucked his uncle's wife?
But.
Is that what you're saying?
Yes, but they were.
But they were divorced.
They were divorced.
They were divorced.
They were divorced.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, it wasn't like I fucked his mama's sister.
I fucked a lady who used to be married to his uncle.
You know what I'm the same thing?
I agree with you, but I guess he still loved her or whatever.
Maybe it's still weird when your buddy does it, you know?
Here's one for you.
If that counts, my brother killed his own uncle.
Yeah, that's different, I think.
He used to be married in one of my hands.
Seems more permanent.
You know what I mean?
But I'm saying, like, that ain't, he ain't shit.
That lady ain't shit.
Fuck your friend.
No.
I hope somebody kills his uncle.
Oh, God, damn.
I'm surprised his uncle didn't kill his uncle after Corey.
fucked his wife, am I right?
Did she also fall off of a mountain?
No, I was back in that day though.
I was on a, man, I was on a fucking tear, son.
Even my smile was crooked.
Look at my cheeks.
There was a time in mountain.
When I was 19 to 24, if you were a 45 to 55 year old woman with hip dysplasia,
I fucked you.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's just how it was.
That's a commercial you need to run.
You may be entitled to come.
compensation.
Yeah, they loved me, man.
I don't know.
It was wild.
It was a fucking wild time.
And I was drinking.
Yeah, you were talking to them.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
I mean, you're also very lovable, but like, yeah, man.
Yeah.
That particular demo?
Yeah.
I could imagine you crushing that.
I did, dude.
I crushed so hard.
And again, it wasn't like I went out of my way.
I just was like.
You could have sold them on some kind of pyramid scheme.
Instead, you fucked them.
Yeah.
Which.
Which, I mean, you know, when you think about your hairline,
was kind of a pyramid scheme.
The only pyramid scheme I know anything about
is that goddamn game at Cracker Barrel, son.
That's it.
You can do that?
Am I good at that, Tray?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm not an ignoramus.
Are you good at the tray?
Huh?
Are you good at it?
I mean, no, I wouldn't say I'm good at it.
I can get it too.
I can't even remember.
Maybe once, but I definitely don't hit at it, no.
I can get it.
I don't believe you've only done it once,
especially if you didn't hit at it.
Oh, but no, you don't like Cracker Barrel.
He don't like fucking Cracker Barrel.
I was about to say this would be the truth on the Jersey,
but I don't really like Cracker Barrow.
He doesn't like Cracker Barrel.
I haven't.
I haven't, uh, I probably haven't fucked with it.
Do you just say you don't like Cracker Barrow either, Drew?
I don't care for it.
But it's different now because me and Andy went the other day.
What do you mean it's different now?
Because they have booze?
Well, they got like, they got like vinyl.
They're selling prints records.
They got essential wools.
Yeah, but the food's still the same.
Oh yeah, yeah, Waffle House.
I fucking love Cracker Barrel.
I love Cracker Barrel so much.
It's like if Waffle House made you take your shoes off when you came in their house.
Yeah, and what you just said is fucking perfect.
If I was in advertising, I'd be like, get me more of that copy, son, you're on fire.
And I well, I guess for me, I'm just like, no, this, you know, this ain't what this is.
For the record, I like both of them, but, dude, have you ever had Cracker Barrel's pancakes?
You know, I don't know.
I'm a biscuit gravy man or an egg man or both.
You know what?
I'll tell you this.
I will tell you this.
And I know there's a lot of people listening to this.
They're not going to like what's about to come out of my mouth.
If you're,
if the whole deal for you is biscuits and gravy,
then I can definitely see Cracker Barrel not hitting for you.
And I'm fine with you saying that because they're biscuits and gravy.
While fine,
they're not great at all.
They're not great at all.
I'll tell you that.
And that is what it is because that's how I feel about Cracker Barrier was.
It's fine.
Yeah, because of what you get.
But I'm a pancake guy, and they have the best pancakes in the whole world.
I'll say this.
If I'm with my parents and I've got to eat at one of the places that they think's nice
because they grew up poor and have only left the house twice since 1973.
Cracker Braille's at the top of my list because I do like, like, if we're going for dinner,
I do like their salads.
Their salads are great.
Their salads are better than Shonies.
Their salads are better than Rines.
If you remember Ryan's, their salads are better than Golden Corrals.
top tier chain restaurant
aside from Cracker Barrel for me
if someone was like hey look man you're going to have to
every time you go on the road now you have to eat
to eat at a chain restaurant
it would to me it's I think Longhorns is the best one
I like Chili's I like Chili's
What's up? I like Logans
Logans is fine their bread
You know a lot of these places are saved by the fact
that they have really good bread and butter
Also I don't think Logans is everywhere
Does that matter?
Yeah, it's probably
They only deal with ones that are everywhere.
Yeah.
But Cracker Barrel.
I probably go Chili's, I guess.
Chilies, I mean, dude, their chips and sauce are, like, are hard to fuck with.
Those Southwestern Egg rolls, dude.
They're great.
They weren't so bad for you.
I would eat them every week.
Oh, they're great.
Yeah.
Also, let me say for anybody listening, I realized that I tried to judge Cracker Barrel and
then started talking about salads.
This is not my area of expertise to be criticizing.
Also, I would like to let for everyone to know and to reiterate to you,
the second you mentioned that about biscuits and gravy,
I'll let you off the hook because that's fucking true.
I'm thinking,
I'm judging it in terms of like,
it means a lot to me because
Cracker Barrel is where I've eaten every single Christmas Eve of my life
with my dad and all of my uncles.
That's where we eat before we go do all our Christmas shopping.
I'm also a huge pancakes fan,
which they have the best of.
But like, yeah,
if you take those two things away and you were like,
and biscuits and gravy was my main go-to,
I probably would be like, yeah,
Cracker Barrel's fine.
So like, I'm willing to admit that.
Dude, they're fucking unbelievable.
If you don't believe me,
Ashroywood Jr.,
we've talked at length about them.
They're just kind of crispy on the top.
You know what I mean?
Woo.
God, they're fucking great.
Cracker barrel, get at me.
Pay me.
Yeah.
He's not a cracker barrel.
He's a cracker barrel.
Hmm.
Well, guys, I guess I'll fucking see you at Zanis, huh?
I guess so.
Yeah.
Well, I love you.
Thank you all for listening to the Well Red show.
We love to stick around.
Fuck it. For the past like five weeks, you couldn't be in more of a hurry for me to fucking sing this song and us leave.
Well, we were, I was mad about something. I've been, but yeah, now it's just, yeah, let's just go.
Thank you all for listening to the well-read show. We love to stick around longer, but we got to go.
And tune in next week if you got nothing to do.
Thank you, God bless you, good night, and skew.
Bye, Drew.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Don't hit.
Bye.
