wellRED podcast - #256 - John Wilkes Booth: Baldwin Brother or Pimp To The Elite?

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

This week the boys discuss the assasination of Abraham Lincoln and go over a few lesser known details about that whole situation. Also, casting ugly people in movies.... whats that process like you reckon? 

And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Well, no, I'll just go ahead. I mean, look, I'm money dumb. Y'all know that. I've been money dumb ever, since ever, my whole life. And the modern world makes it even harder to not be money dumb, in my opinion, because used to you, you like had to write down everything you spent or you wouldn't know nothing. But now you got apps and stuff on your phone.

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But I don't remember. At this point, it's been so long ago, I don't even remember how I found out about credit. I genuinely don't. Just poking around in the, you know, the nathers of the internet. I don't get on the literal dark web. I'm too computer dumb for that.

but just like, you know, read it or something. I saw it pop up. Oh, what's that? Looked into it. Next thing you know, a few years later, I'm like, full bar advocate for this stuff because it hits real hard. If you still don't know what cratum is, it's like it's a plant. It's just a plant that grows.

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no cratim it's great i take it and like you know i can focus and it gives me a lot of energy and he's like oh you mean like adderall or something i'm like no no no no no no no no no no no no i'm like no no no I was like, you know how Adderall also makes you feel like, oh, God, oh God. You got like tweak from South Park. I was like, cratum is not that. It's like a real calm transition into energy and focus. Yes, absolutely. So it's useful in a lot of situations.

Just, I mean, I honest, I'd use it like most people use a cup of coffee, really. Just like, you know, you're getting older. It's the middle of the day. You start to drag, take a little bit of cratum. Or, you know, if you need to need some extra courage to ask somebody, on a day to ask your boss for a raise or run the extra mile because cratum is often used as a pre-workout i do that i don't get down with it like that but i know a lot of people do your boy does my buddy thompson and cori does yeah so but my thing is like it's not like i was

i was like yeah i used it as a pre-workout but that's only because i just happen to kind of take cratim all day every day and i do work out so therefore i have had it before my workout but i did notice that it like really does like if i think an extra dose i'm like oh yeah i can do this like especially running or walking, I'm like, I'm definitely getting my 20,000 steps today because of Kratum. Yeah. Anytime we talk about this, you guys know I bring up Andy. I take Kratem.

I enjoy Kratem. I think it's also a performance enhancer when it comes to doing stand-up comedy, going back to that courage of asking Samara date. You want to talk about courage doing a new joke or just being looser on stage? But I always talk about Andy because it has quite literally changed our lives in the way that it has allowed her. to manage her anxiety issues throughout the day. And, you know, it's a plant, and I think it's a godsend. Any part of me that still believes in the fake Lord, believes that the fake Lord put this on earth

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Well, hey, here we are, and not only are we here, where we were, was Omaha, Nebraska, and I would like to thank everybody for coming out to those shows. They were freaking awesome. It was a, hey, it was a, it was a plum balmy 30 degrees on the first show. But we'll be in, those are great shows. Thank you ever coming out. You go to well-read comedy.com for tickets. This coming weekend, we're going to be in Indianapolis.

And then next weekend we're in Appleton, Wisconsin, where two day fellers, I don't know if you know this, but I keep up with the weather. Today in Appleton, Wisconsin, it is negative 15 degrees. We, and that's, and it's only going to get colder. Brough. Negative. If it was 15, I would still be like, God damn. This is negative 15. I met a guy from there last night watching the Chiefs game.

I want to talk about that, whose daughter goes to UT. And I said, you know, we were talking about that. And I was like, come on out. And he goes, and maybe. We'll see. Sometimes it gets the cold. I don't leave the house. Well, I do understand that.

But, you know, all you got to do is get from your house to the car and from your car to inside skyline. comedy club where they will have, I assume, great heat. But yeah, no, that's, dude, I saw a lot of people that, you know, aren't from there just like, oh, my God, why on God's green earth would y'all be going to Appleton, Wisconsin, in February? And I was like, well, somebody has to, for the love of God. What do you think? These people just get, they just don't get entertainment for three to four months out of the year just because it's negative 15.

Yeah, well, come down and see us to prevent yourself from doing the shining. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I'm real, I'm real pumped, but, you know, that's going to layer up, fellas, because we're there for the whole freaking weekend. See, I don't know how to, we've gotten lucky so far, really, because, I mean, we've been in Chicago, we've been in Illinois and then Nebraska in January. And in Nebraska, every day of the week leading up to when we arrived, it was a high of like four or five.

Yeah. But then both times, both weekends, when we were in town, it was like 30 degrees, which is like 30s. That don't hit for me, but I can, I can walk 30. Dude, I walk five miles a day in 30. No problem. Yeah. I mean, I won't, but I can, I can, I put on a hoodie and a jacket and I can survive it.

Yeah. I don't think I've ever experienced. negative 15. Well, it's, that's 45 degrees difference than what, that's, that's, that's astonishing to think about. Yeah, I don't know. I don't, I mean, I may not, I may not make it through that weekend if it's that called the whole time.

I don't know what's going to happen. I might just, heart just give up. Yeah, it will be. If you don't come out, come out and watch the liberal redneck quit. Yeah, watch him quit on stage. Perish from the earth. I don't know. I can't.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I know if you're from a place like that, you get used to it. But like, you don't ever get truly, there's no way you can get truly used to negative 15. Now, I've had one experience, and this was a windshield thing, but like my thing is like, well, if it feels this way, then that's what it is. So I don't understand. But in Iowa, a couple years ago at Christmas, the windshield factor, the day we left was negative 30 degrees. And I'm not kidding when I say that.

I thought I was just being a huge pussy, which I was. But we were outside packing the car, and they were all like, hey, you need to, you need to get gloves. And I was like, I'm just throwing some stuff in the car. And they were like, no, no, no, you don't understand. You will, you're, you will literally get like, irreparable frostbite if you're out there for two minutes in negative 30. I'm like, okay. Yeah, I get out there. And I start, I wasn't able to breathe through my nose.

And I was like, oh, my sinuses all of a sudden. And my father and I was like, no, your snots freezing. And I fucking put my pinky up there. And sure is shit, my snot was icicles. Oh, my God. What the fuck, dude. And also, this is a good thing. I just remembered, I'm either going to already be dead or acclimated,

because I will be driving there from another part of Wisconsin with the gutter bumpkin himself. No, really? At these shows. So, DJ, we have shows if you need a little extra on us to come on out. He says he's got some comedy about living on a bus with a goat. He's been dying to do. And so that's going to be good unless DJ and I freeze to death together, which is our goal. so perhaps we won't make it.

Well, dude, that was a genuine reaction for me. This is the first time hearing of that. I did not know unless I missed that in the group thread. It was the one night you got drunk on a trip, I told you. I said, yeah, you did miss that in the group thread, but that, but that's all right. I was still very, it was a sweet. Well, this hits for me. It's nice to, yeah.

I'm so excited. We were aware of that. The audience wasn't that. It's for them. It's for me, too. I'm just saying. See, that right there is exactly why I do not drink anymore. This is the one isolated.

incident where I, because I don't. Like, I know, I know we can, oh, whoa, you were drunk at whenever this happened clearly, but like, the way that I, I know, I know, I know, but still, my point is the way that I used to operate. I'm not comparing it. I'm not comparing it to a fucking normal human being, Tray. I'm saying, compared to the way I used to operate, I think saying, I don't really drink anymore is true.

Because I didn't say I don't drink anymore. I said, I don't really drink anymore. I don't really drink anymore. Like me getting drunk two days ago is kind of an isolated incident because I really just don't be doing it. Also two days ago, I wasn't really fucking drunk. I had four beers. No, I don't, yeah. I mean, Drew kind of jokingly said, oh, you must have, that was the one day you got drunk or whatever.

But you don't need, you do not need to be drunk to just completely miss a thing. Because we've, especially. That's true. That happens a lot, actually. It does. But also, to defend. Wait, wait, wait, I just want to, I just want to stop for a second. I just said, especially if I said it, and I don't think you even heard me say that.

I did. No, I heard you say it. I heard you say it. But I was trying to, I was in the middle of trying to defend myself on, we have three, three group texts that we're all a part of, maybe four, that we're all a part of. It was in person. What? I haven't been with DJ in person. No, Drew, it wasn't.

No, this is also funny. It definitely was on the text thread because DJ was on there. because I was telling him, I was like, well, bless your heart, buddy, because it's going to be negative 15 or whatever. And if you want to come, yeah, but I thought that me and you, at least, Trey, talked about it after that in person about... So what happens to me?

We were talking about how he'd make it hit, even if it didn't hit because it was, you know, well... I don't know. It definitely started on the text thread, though. I know it's riveting for everybody, but... Well, I'm just fucking saying, a DJ text thread's different, but to defend myself,

a lot of the times when I do lose stuff, it's that I actually do go to bed early now, at like 9.30, which to y'all out there is 7.30, which is when the group chat actually starts kind of getting lit. I will wake up in the morning, and I'm not kidding. Sometimes I will have 380 text messages. I'm not going to go back.

I get overwhelmed, and I'm like, start over. I'm not going to fucking, I'm not going back. Dude, yeah, when I lived on the East Coast, and back then you were drinking regularly, Corey, so you would be up on that thread. Yes. And I would wake up sometimes to like 140 messages. Yeah.

And I would be like, at some point I was like, I just, you know, I'm sure somebody said something to me that I should respond to either, you know, in terms of what we're doing with our lives or an insult that I need to defend. But it's just I don't care anymore. Apple, Apple, adding the function of being able to reply to individual text is honestly the best thing that they've done for like, for people like us. Because yeah, used to you'd go back through and you're like, God damn, there's like five or six things that I really want to comment on. but by the time I get to the bottom, they're already on this, but then you can, like, go back and isolate one. But yeah, I mean, I just, I miss a lot.

But any fucking ways, I'm real happy that I'm finding out that I get to see DJ in Wisconsin. That's going to be awesome. So everybody come out to the shows. Yeah, well hit. What's this, uh, Abraham Lincoln stuff you,

you're on about? So this just blew my fucking mind because I, you know, I listen to a lot of history podcasts and shit. And I texted y'all a little bit about this, but I want the audience to know, like, Abraham Lincoln and his assassination and the Emancipation Proclamation is something that, like, you kind of just assume, yeah, I pretty much know all there is to know about that because you've heard about it your whole life.

And you're like, yeah, I know all the key moments. John Wilkes Booth, he was a, you know, Southern sympathizer and he was an actor and shit like that. But I've been listening to this podcast called 1865, which to give them a free plug, I will. It's on the Wondery Podcast Network and it's fucking delightful. It's like a story podcast where they, it's actually like scripted history or whatever. and they have actors come in and play them or whatever. But it's all true. But it's all true.

Yeah, yeah. It's all true. And they just, like, script what all happened. Like, but so it, go, right now, give your whole summation of like, Abraham Lincoln and how he got assassinated and why he got assassinated. Just from what you know from your life. The fifth Baldwin brother. So the least famous brother of an acting family. I thought he was like actually kind of famous.

He did hit. Yeah, that's what I always heard it. He was kind of famous. But he had a more famous. He killed the president or something. I don't know that. I don't think. I think that we do that. I think this is one of those things that I learned that's probably, I guess, not as juicy as what Corey's about to drop on us.

Where that's a bit of a misnomer. I think that he was like the third famous person in his family. Now, he still was known. But I think he had a brother and or a dad who hit way harder than him. He was a good actor, but he was more popular. he was more popular than he was good. You know what I'm saying? Like he was,

he dated a bunch of socialites and stuff. Oh yeah, George Clooney. No, I'm just kidding. George Clooney is. Yeah. That's the only reason I was going to say, I don't want to say somebody because then it'll seem like I'm shitting on them. But like, I don't,

everybody knows those actors who like. Well, I just, I don't like to. I just don't like to do. Like a Disney channel type actor or something like that. I used to would say somebody like, I used to would say somebody like Channing Tate.

them, but I genuinely do think... I do too. I do too. I do too. But, like, you know, some people think of him like that. It's like, oh, yeah, like pre-fox catcher and pre-Magic Mike and stuff like that. He was just like, yeah, he's a good-looking dude or whatever. But, like, I do think he's good, but you get what I'm saying. The Paul, Paul Walker, Paul fucking Walker. There you go. Perfect example, and he can't say shit.

So, anyways, he was... For John Will's book was the Paul Walker of his time. Inarguably. And so... I think he's one of the bald ones. He's not Alec. No, no, no, dude. Corey's like knee-deep in this A-blank and shit right now.

The Baldwin's, the baldwins weren't, like, they're not as popular as what Wilkes Booth was. He was like this, he dated socialized, but here's the thing that fucking blew my mind that I didn't know. One of the reasons he was so popular, especially in the Washington area, is because he was kind of a pimp. Like, I mean, like, I don't mean like, I don't mean like, ooh, he's a pimp. No, no, no. there was the rumors of that too like he could fucking be so funny if that is what you y'all know john will's boat was a

pimp boy but dude but dude he was that too he was that he was that he was that too like he apparently slung dick like nobody's business but he was but he also was a pimp like regular pimp yeah like he hung out with socialites so much that he would like hook up congressmen and senators with all these chicks and shit like that on the low and so like they kind of just like all

kept him up you know And so, like, he was always, he was just real super fucking popular. And he was a good looking guy. But so what do you know about? Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, well, except for these women were of age, you know, they were. Age was different back in. Bet they weren't.

I bet they weren't. No, no, no. I'm not saying all of them were, but I will tell you that this, the one that, that dropped, this bombshell on me about the whole assassination, she definitely was. Like, she was, she was 100%. she'd been in the game for a while. She was like an actress or whatever. But like Abraham Lincoln, we all know, he gets shot by John Wilkes Booth.

And he says, sex semper, sex semper finis or whatever, the South will rise again or whatever. When he jumps off, somebody's like, he's a, he's a goddamn, you know, he's a Southern sympathizer, which was true. But like, the reason that he was able to get to Abraham Lincoln know exactly when he was going to be there, know exactly that he wasn't going to have as much security with him, is because this girl who was, Senator Hale, at the time's daughter, was engaged to Abraham Lincoln's son, but fucking John Wilkes Booth on the side and was feeding him information and shit like that.

And that's how like this whole thing fucking orchestrated. So Abraham Lincoln's like, would be daughter-in-law sold him out to John Wilkes Booth. Yes, and if you ever in your life heard that? No, I've never. Why the fuck is that not more of a thing? That's super, that's very wild in my time. And it's a woman.

It's not like the normal history writers wouldn't want to blame her. Well, like, Abraham Lincoln's a great point. Abraham Lincoln getting shot has to be taught to like fourth graders. Right. So like it's going to begin with a very cursory level explanation of what happened. Yeah. And I get that. But I don't know how.

It's such. of one of the most noteworthy events in American history. I do still think it's wild that then you go out on your on your way through high school and college. If you go to college and shit, and never, I've never heard that. You know, I'm a huge history guy. I fucking love history. And I've read about the Civil War a ton of time. Just to review here,

all right, Jeffrey Epstein, Paul Walker, Wilkes Booth was this was getting paid. I think Heidi Floss is probably better. Was he a matchmaker or like a literal pay me money and you can have sex for this woman? That, that one. Like, he was, he would like, you know, these senators and stuff, like, obviously they couldn't just go to a whore house. Not that they, well, they probably could, but like.

But, but, but, but like, yeah. The horse don't hit, maybe. No, exactly. He had the hitting horse. He did have the hitting horse. He did have the hitting horse. He did have the hitting horse. Yeah, he did have the hitting horse.

But, like, no, dude, like, that's how that all, like, like, he had the hit and horse. like fucking played out. And like, so there's a couple of circumstances where Abraham Lincoln didn't have his top security that night, which he had requested. So basically everyone in like the whatever was the CIA back then, which it wasn't called the CIA, but all the kind of secret service. Yeah, the secret service people in all the like deep state, like all the people that that's their, you know, that that that would end up becoming the CIA and like the FBI, the people that were doing the equivalent of that back then all knew that there were attempts on the president's life about to happen

because they had sensed a coup, right? But didn't the Secret Service, they're the ones that are, this is literally their whole entire job. And didn't they come about when Ulysses Grant was the president in part because of all this shit? Of this. Yeah. Now, after that, why they even became a thing. After Abraham Lincoln, there was no longer, the president can't even take a shit by

himself after Abraham Lincoln. It's so funny that like 19 people tried to kill Andrew Jackson and they were like, Yeah, we probably don't even need to look into this. Yeah, right. Yeah, but. You just kept meeting with a stick, and they were like, well, I mean, hell, these things to have it under control. If you want to be president, you've got to beat some people up, I guess. Yeah.

Abe Lincoln constantly went on walks, like, just, he would sneak out at night and go on walks around DC with no security whatsoever. And one time, he even, like, he came back and had a bullet hole through his top hat where somebody shot him and knocked it off. And everyone was like, Mr. Lincoln, Mr. Lincoln, we know your folksy. We get it that you're a man of the people. people, but like, you are going to die. And he's like, oh, but think of how good I am for the hat industry. And so. Pretty folksy. Pretty, yeah, very foxy. But like, he also.

So they told him they were like, Mr. Lincoln. Also getting shot, folksy. It is. He wanted to go to that play. He wanted to go to the Ford's Theater. And they told him, they said, Mr. President, listen, any other time maybe, but like, it is, it is threat level midnight out there right now. Like, you do not need to go in public.

And he's like, I just think it would do the. nation good to see me out right now because the civil war was ending and there were still obviously some rebel uprising. He's like, I think it would do people good to see me out. Like that would show them like, hey, look, things are getting back to normal and they're like, Mr. President, please, for the love of fucking God, do not go to the theater. And he's like, no, I think I need to go. So his chief of staff or whatever tells all the secret service people that are like, don't go with him. Don't go with him. Tell him you're not going. He thought, in his mind, he thought that that would make Abraham Lincoln be like, oh, well, I guess I shouldn't go, but it didn't.

Or. Right. Or, right. Or it's a internal coup. I mean, you could look at it that way, too, which I kind of choose to. You know, it's like, dude, come on. At the end of the day, you still fucking go. But like that happened.

But you got those circumstances. He goes and John Wilkes Booth knew exactly that he would be there. And also John Wilkes Booth knew that there was not going to be. anybody that would stop him whatsoever, even though Lincoln had personally requested the highest ranking security guard to come with him, and he didn't fucking go. All right.

Now I'm getting into some other questions I have about Wilkes Booth and slash maybe a half point. But like, so Wilts Booth, it took years, I would imagine, to become that guy, the Dick Sling and Pimp of Washington, D.C.

It's not like you can rock up and like three months later, that's the situation. Of course. Yeah. He has done this over time. Do you know, did they talk about, was he ever political before?

I would imagine you get that place to that place without being super political, being able, or maybe DC's full of sociopaths, so they don't care, they all hang out with each other at night. He was at Lincoln's first inauguration. And, like, you know, there's a portrait of that or whatever. I think, I don't know that he was ever, I don't, I haven't gotten into yet, like, who radicalized him. Or if, like, his affiliation to politics was always like, well, these congressmen and senators want to fuck girls, I've got girls. And then, so to me, it could just be as much as like,

he starts meeting these people this way and then becomes sympathetic to these southern senators. I have no fucking idea. Maybe he meets Jefferson Davis at a whorehouse. But, like, regardless, I mean, this man was. He was worried about his business. These seven senators have to leave, man. I got to leave the whore business. Yeah, I don't know.

But, like, I don't know whether or not he was like, he was always somebody that was a radical political guy or if he just got like, radicalized by something, but like all I know is like, to me, the whole point of all that was not even to educate or anything. It was to point out the fact that this is one of the most famous events that has ever happened in the history of the whole fucking world. I've read about the Civil War so many fucking times. You've all, we've all just ran. You're just walking around sometimes and boom, Abraham Lincoln stuff will happen at you. And I never once fucking knew there was an inside co-conspirator that was a guy.

goddamn prostitute and that John Wilkes Booth was a fucking pimp. That's bananas. Is she a prostitute or just somebody who's engaged to one guy but wants to have sex? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Excuse me. Excuse me. I was getting my stories mixed up.

Around this same time, Lincoln's, uh, uh, vice president, Andrew Johnson was fucking one of Wilkes Booth's actual prostitutes. And there was a letter in his, um, there was a letter in his mailbox that night that, uh, Lincoln got assassinated that was from John Wilkes booth asking him when he was going to be home. And basically their whole thought process on, at first they were like, oh, he was in on it because he wanted to be president. And then they were like, no, no, no, what was actually happening was because there was also an attempt on the Secretary of State. There was also an attempt on it. It was a complete, not just to kill the president, a complete coup takeover.

They wanted to knock all of them out because they found out. And this is before there was actually any constitutional legislation that gave them any idea of what to do in a situation like that. So the government would have been completely turned over on its head with no one technically in charge and therefore the CSA can kind of do whatever the fuck they want. So they knew all that. And basically they were wanting Andrew Johnson to be there that night with a prostitute so they could blow his fucking head off.

So yes, a prostitute was also a co-conspirator. All right. Now a question. How did they know that the daughter-in-law was having sex with John Lowe's booth? Is that from letters? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

but Corey, you answer that question right after this. All right, we're back. Go ahead, Corey. Okay, so the reason that they knew was because, and again, I'm getting all of this information from the podcast 1885, and just regard to dating it. Yes, they ended up finding letters. What happened was they, so they were at like a presidential ball or something. Of course, Abraham Lincoln's son, Robert, I believe it was.

Robert is there with his fiance and Wilkes Booth was there. he came and cut in on a dance and like Robert just kind of started like paying attention to it and he got super, super jealous. And then like he would notice her going to the theater more. You know what I mean? She would just be gone. And then finally she like admits to him that she was infatuated with him and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then after that, they found correspondence between them. And also when they catch John Wilkes booth, when they catch him and kill him in that barn or whatever, he had his journal with him and they take the journal and he's got all these letters that John Wilkes Booth had been writing to her, or all these things that he was about to send to her basically and she'd been sending him stuff like trying to get him trying to figure out how to get him not fucking caught because it was one of the largest and most expensive manhunts in the history of the goddamn world. So yeah, they've got the proof was into pudding on that. Because I was wondering if maybe like a letter came out in the last 20 years and maybe that's why we didn't know about it. but this was like pretty detailed for a while. I mean, it definitely got buried there. They did, in part of this, they talk about it getting buried because that senator,

it was his daughter and she's, and for the record, I'm not done with the podcast yet. But she's, they're about to lock her in the fucking, on the Montauk, the boat, you know, the prison boat where they just shackle you up and put you in the bottom. They're about to, they just come to the house to fucking, they're like, look, this happening. And the senator basically tells him he's like, okay, cool. Yeah, take my daughter. And then what if the whole world finds out of? about you doing this, this, this, this, this.

And they're like, fuck. So they can't arrest her. You know what I mean? Now, I'm about to be on the second season where I do think that there, like some things are about to get deeper, but it was covered up for a while. It was definitely covered up for a while. It reminds me a little bit of Little Finger and the Spider-Man, Spider-Wispher. You know, it's like if you control these people's sex lives.

Yeah. You control them to a lot. For sure. Yeah. And especially like, obviously, like, obviously we all. know now in the world of politics, an affair or two is not going to, like, really affect your career too much as long as you're really good. But back then, it really fucking could. I mean, isn't that the whole idea with Epstein and Maxwell? Yeah. They got these, yeah. Didn't

he didn't kill himself or either was allowed to kill himself either way was because he, you know, he knows all this shit about all these really powerful people or whatever. And that's why he had to go, type of thing. Yeah, pretty much. It's still very much true. I mean, you can find, if you out here fucking kids, then yeah, you know, people gonna have that.

They'll have you by the horn when it comes to that information. That's why you probably just don't not do that. But I think it used to be like if you was just if you was a secret gay or whatever. Yeah. And I guess that still plays if you're a conservative Republican piece of shit. But again, just don't be both them

things at once and you'll be fine. Right. You know what I mean? like so it's not as extreme as it used to be because back then you just couldn't be like cavorting with loose women you know what I mean or you would go down now it's not as puritanical but I mean it's definitely still a thing I bet you could I bet it was like known but hush hush because and this may not be true in America because we were founded differently but at that time in England because so many marriages were basically arranged yeah they yeah I got Andy listens to a lot of podcasts about that era. And apparently, like, they were pretty, like, that one specific thing they were kind of fine with. I mean, you think about Thomas Jefferson, everyone knew he was sleeping with his slaves. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. With Anglin back in the day and stuff, I've always gotten the impression just from watching them shows where they, you know, put powder on their faces and wigs and stuff and dress up and shit. I've always got an impression that, like... If everybody looks like a clown, which, why does it matter which clown you fuck? Well, sure, but no, that... In relation to what Drew was just saying, like, the way that a lot of marriages,

they were basically arranged, if it wasn't called like arranged marriage, that they kind of... It was all about a dowry. That they had, like... So actually, I'm going to talk about dowries a little bit. Okay, good. But finish this thought.

Because of the last duel, right? That, yeah, but I'm... I thought about them before. But anyway, finishing what I was just about to say is that, like, it seems like they all, that many of them kind of had this understanding back then that it was like, we're married because like, business advantageous to both families or whatever. But like, we don't really hit for each other and we're both aware of that. Now, we can't have the public knowing everything that's going on necessarily

because that just ain't how this public works. Right. But I don't really care if you're out here fucking horrors or whatever. Because you don't really hit for me to begin with. We're just in a mutually advantageous, you know, relationship or whatever. But you're saying you had to hide it. From the public, I think. Yeah, right.

Just like they still were married and you couldn't be. I mean, that clearly, that goes on these days. I think it was going on with J. DePicott Smith and Will forever. behind the scenes and now we just kind of know about it. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I feel like these days. Of course, they did hit for each other at one point. Right.

Yeah. And I just don't know why. I mean, hell, I don't know. I guess it does still matter. I was going to say, why, who, why would that still be a thing? I guess it is. The public, for the record, the public is still like that. I mean, not near as much as they used to be, but like, you know, people, there's a large,

when you're in entertainment, there's a large part of the country that still wants to believe that two people have a happy marriage and that neither one of them have stepped out on each other. You know what I mean? Yeah. So dowries, both of y'all probably know more about them to me. I don't think so. Your proclivities to listen to history stuff or whatnot.

But I was just thinking about like, back in the day, if you had anything, if you weren't just a peasant, right, surf, if you had stuff and then you had a daughter, Yeah. You had to like find a way to get rid of her. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually because Mary Roth. It's like, what am I going to do with this?

Yeah. I can't give her shit. And so like in order to get rid of her, you had to, you had to throw in a bunch of cows and tracks of land and shit like that. Yeah. But wasn't it the reverse in some cultures? Like, what do you mean? by the wife? Maybe.

Maybe it depends. Maybe it might all depend on the families. I'd say that if the wife hits, that it would be like it's like an audition. If she's from a real hitting family or something, if she's the one that's from a real hidden family, then maybe not. But in the last duel,

I remember the Jody Commerce character, her dad, had to like sweeten the pot with these hitner pieces of land just to get Matt Damon's character, who didn't seem like he like really hit all that hard. No, he didn't. In the context of what was going on. I mean, he was in debt when that happened.

Like to him, it was benefiting him. He was like, oh, sweet. I can, you know, pay off all my shit because I got all these fucking land. Right. That's true. The family. I think with him it was a, he was real honorable. He was a super honorable guy.

And so like her dad, like it would hit like, oh, man, if I can have my daughter married to him, then I can, in the last 20 years or so of my life, I can be like, did you see who my daughter's with? It's, you know, blah, blah. but I don't know. Like, there's a lot of pride, I guess, that goes into it. I just think, like, do you remember how, y'all were a few years ago how the Houston Texans had signed Brock Osweiler to a big contract?

And then he was terrible. So the following season, they wanted to get rid of him, but nobody would take him. So they had to throw in a second round draft pick. They had to trade Brock Osweiler. Like a medieval hoar. to the Cleveland Browns just so they would take him off of their... I just feel like it just sort of feels like that to me sometimes. That's a dowry, yeah.

...back in the day. Like, that's what you had to do. I bet you really had to do that when some of them looked like Brock Osweiler, too. And I guarantee you of them did. Yeah, dude. Like that motherfucker. By the way, I'm not saying none of that hits. I'm just saying like...

That happened in Game of Thrones with a... fucking, what's his name? Filch from Harry Potter. Like, he couldn't give them bitches away. He was like, his whole pitch to Rob was just like, look, I know they don't hit. But like, how about this? I'll help you win the war. Will you take my daughter if you can win the war?

And even that, even then Rob was like, I don't know. I don't need the north that bad. God damn. Yeah, man. They had them 1350 teeth. Oh, boy. I mean, just rough stuff. How do you think when,

what do you think casting calls look like for that? Or do you think that they try to get? Yeah, because I've always. Walmart at one in the morning. I bet it looked like that. Yeah, I know,

but I'm always. Do you mean the like the description? Yeah, like I need a butt ugly. Like the way they describe what they're looking for. Yeah. And then you get that role. because to me, like, I remember John Hughes talking about the casting process of home alone.

And, like, there's that scene where Kevin finds the picture of Buzz's girlfriend, and it's this, like, hideous, you know, little chubby girl. And what he did was it was just Buzz in a wig. And he did that on purpose because he didn't want a little girl to feel bad. Like, he didn't want to go out there and be like, we've got to find a chubby, fat little girl to play this hideous character. That would be fucked up to that person, you know. But, like, so many times in movies.

movies, you see a person, and not only are they ugly, but the point of them in the, in the scene was that they were ugly. And it's like, yeah, they got a job, but God, damn. Sometimes it's like a character actor who's skinny, they mess up their teeth, they ugly them up a little bit with make the way to do it. Or it's a character actor who just has a weird look. They know that about themselves. But a lot of times, it used to just be a fat person. That was literally the whole joke. Look at fatty. How could anybody ever be with fatty? And it wasn't like they put a skinny person in a fat suit because here's another thing.

If they did that, then there'd be a fat person being like, what about why can't you just get a regular fat actor? So you can't, but then it's like, yeah, but do you want to cast somebody just to point the fucking finger at him?

Like, that's kind of rough. We've been taking dwarfs jobs because we're not allowed to throw them anymore. Yeah, that's true. But you can cast them in stuff. Yeah,

cast them in a movie about throwing them. Well, did people, this is going to be, I'm being kind of genuinely serious. Was there people who got mad that they didn't like, that there weren't more actual little people in like Lord of the Rings, that they did it with forced perception?

I'm not saying he was actually mad about it, but Brad Williams had a whole bit about exactly that. When I worked with him inside Twitters back in the day, he had a whole thing. And that was the entire premise. And of course, he's hilarious. Yeah, he's awesome. He's great. So he played Nashville recently, and Donnie Singstack, printed upon, got him to go to one of

those after-hour shows at a restaurant because Brad just loves comedy so he's like I'll go and Donnie was like he murdered harder there than he did at Zanis I was like of course you're at a random bar show and a famous midget walks in that's what Brad calls himself of course that's the best day you've ever had like you fuck out of this mediocre bar show and Brad

Williams walks in yeah yeah without question shout out Donnie Singstack I love that little motherfucker oh I was going to say real quick too Andy's film pusher everybody should go watch it push your film.com. She did a lot to like make herself not look like herself. And it was kind of wild to me.

Obviously, I know her very well. But like, I was, I mean, I was literally watching it in the back of my mind kind of going like, hell, how do you get so ugly? So, like, they can do that stuff. Hey, speaking of independent films, March 3rd, 4th and 5th at the South Georgia Film Festival, a short film that I co-starred in, Edge of Town, is doing that festival. So if you're down there, go check it out, Edge of Town. Sorry, that felt organic.

Yeah, it was. It's a great film festival, too. Andy had it. It was in that two years ago when they had it and liked it a lot. Yeah, I'm pretty excited. I still haven't seen the movie, but I guess it's pretty good. I'll send you a copy. You're in it.

Yeah. No, they have. They've sent me a copy. I still have a lot. I haven't had the moment. My wife didn't want to watch it just because I'm in it. Well, I'll do, I mean, I hate watching myself in anything. too. And I'm not a good actor.

How lot of people are that way. So like, it's really not that weird. It's not me. Matter of fact, there's like world famous huge actors who actually never watch the movies. I can watch, I can watch my stand up because, A, it's literally a thing you need to do in order to tag yourself. It don't hit for me. It don't hit for me, but it hits for me harder than it does to watch me in a movie because I'm good at stand up. That's my thing.

When I watch myself in acting, I want to watch it because I want to get better. But at the same time, I just, I know what grade. acting is and that ain't it. You know what I mean? I wasn't great, but I was pleasantly surprised expecting to hate myself with Trace. I was like pleasantly surprised with that short film with myself specifically.

I was like, oh, that was serviceable. But that was all I felt like it was. Right, right. And I played completely myself in that. And in this one, it's not like I was, it wasn't like I was playing way against type, but like I wasn't playing Corey the Cho. I was just, you know, playing a dude.

And so I don't know. But you're right. I don't really want to fucking, I don't want to watch that shit. I even like my parts as the void, but I didn't talk. And also, that's very, that's very much in type playing in a amorphous representation of sadness. I've been trying to. Oh, hey, can we do something real quick, Trey? Can we can.

Yeah. Because I know what we're about to do and we need to do this. We will be right about. You don't know what we're, you don't know what I was about to do. Nope. I know it's going to be a whole thing. But I know it's going to be a whole thing. No, but I was, no, but go ahead.

Well, we'll be right back after this. Okay. All right, we're back. All I was going to say is I'm annoyed over here because I know, I know that there are real world examples of what you were asking about earlier with, like, casting calls. Yeah. Because I feel like I've seen them pop up before.

And they're always funny. Yeah. But I can't find them. I've been over here trying to. to Google it and you just type in like ridiculous casting calls, hilarious cast, whatever, and it's all just actual like casting for a movie.

We need a slack. Yeah, yeah. It's like you can't, I can't. So it's just annoying me because I can't find, but I guarantee you there are pretty wild examples out there of the thing. I mean, there fucking has to be like you see a movie and it's like so many scenes. It's like the whole point of this scene is based on how ridiculous this person looks or how fat they are or how

they like they like at a certain point they've got to just and I know that dude I know that like pre uh like pre the era where people say oh the PC culture blah blah blah which of course has always been a thing but like back in the 90s 80s those times I don't nobody they didn't give a fuck they would just lay it smooth out

you know what I mean they just be like if you can't show your tit sweetheart get the fuck out of yeah well and in like the indie world where they don't have an HR and nobody training these megalomani want to be directors on how to not do that. Dude, Andy's shown me some things that, like, just in knowing how the world works, I can't believe someone put that out with their name on it, of like, like, literally, like,

her tits should be supple, but not saggy, but big, perky, but like they're one year away from drooping. We're talking that 28-year-old bartender, you really, like, they just get into this and you can tell they're just talking about a woman they wanted to have sex with. It's weird. Of course it's weird But I mean like You know

Maybe they just shouldn't make movies like this Corey put that in your fucking mental note But like if there's a scene where You know They're doing a Oh she's got big boobs or blah blah blah They have to be like we I'm sorry your boobs aren't big enough

Like you can't You can't be You just say We need you want with big tits for this scene Yeah Yeah right I guess you just go through the line And you'll be like

She's got the biggest tits She's got it You know what I mean Like I don't know I Or, yeah, I don't fucking know me. It's just a whole, it's a weird world. And like, obviously women get the brunt end of it more, more often than not.

But again, there's plenty of, like, the fucking series finale of Seinfeld, the whole thing is called the Good Samaritan Law. And it's them just laughing as a fucking big old fat man gets robbed, you know? And like, the whole point that they're laughing is like, oh, yeah, he can't chase that. He can't chase the dude down and get his wallet. All fat, fat, fat jokes. and like the most popular show of all time and this guy got casted specifically for that. I bet with the fat ones in particular that it's pretty shameless. I bet.

Yeah, I guarantee you. But they don't really sugarcoat because, you know, that would have to. They would eat that. Yeah, they would eat the casting call. Eating the casting call. Yeah. I bet, yeah, I bet it's like, I bet they go like too far with it. It's like, if you drool, that's better.

Yeah. If you stink, I know it doesn't. matter, but I feel like that'll set the stage better. Yeah, but imagine being like you're not... More of a waddle than a standard wall. And then some people get told you're not fat enough, and it's like, God damn, the only time I get a compliment is when I'm losing a job. You know what I mean?

Like, I mean, I saw one earlier today. This is, this one is fine. I didn't bat an eye when I saw it. I'm just saying you take it up to a, in thinking about a fat character. But I saw one earlier as like for, it's set. it was for a dab bod, and in parentheses it said, not in shape, but not overweight either. And I'm saying that but for someone who's supposed to be.

Yeah. Fat. Big and fat. You know what I mean? Yeah. And we mean medically. We mean like, we mean that we mean. We mean carrying around the pads for your heart at all fucking times,

just in case something happens. Mustard on your neck from a week ago. fat. Yeah. I think at the top level, they just tell the cast and directors exactly what they want, and the cast and directors don't have to tell necessarily their clients. You know, they just call the agents, and they're like, hey, you know that ugo you got? She'd be perfect to play Frey's daughter, and that's why.

You don't have to tell her that, or you can, I don't give a shit. But if her teeth are fixed when she gets in here, I'm not putting her in this movie. Or I bet it is like a thing that you said where it's like, they're just like, yeah, we can just get normal looking people and just ugly them to fuck up. up because like they're actually they do that I know they ugly

them up but like some of them that you definitely started with a pretty goddamn good palette you know what I'm saying yeah

but uh lady Brehan right yeah yeah she's fine yeah she's fine

she's like she basically if she's a model she's tall yeah right but she's not like fucking

you know this like harsh and overly masculine and hell no

you know hard looking person that that character was supposed to be. They just ugly her up, you know, that's what they do. They also probably wouldn't have cast whoever that actor was that would have looked more

like the descriptions in the book. It was like, you know, we hear you, George R. Martin, but this is TV. I mean, they did that with, I mean, yeah, read the books. Tyrion is supposed to be like a freakish little monster. Yeah, and he's not even supposed to... Peter Dinklage is handsome.

Peter Dinklage is a great looking guy. Yeah, right. So they did a lot of that in the show, which, yeah, I don't blame them either. You know, I mean, it is TV. Mama needs me for something and we're almost done. You can handle the last five minutes. I hope I got to go do something. Okay.

We love you, Mama. We hope you're okay. A couple short things. So I want to say about during Abraham Lincoln earlier, because it's not directly related to anything you said, but I just think about it every now and then. You may have already known this, but I just remember,

I remember being pretty high and watching an episode of Eastbound and Down when it was air. for the first time. Boy, how good was that, how good was that moment in history and time? I know, no, it was hitting so hard.

This was, and this also, this was back when, like, I didn't hardly watch any TV show. Me either. Because I was, I was still,

I was at a stage of my life where I was like, I had to work at night. I was still, like, working in bars and stuff, and I, I just couldn't set aside time to watch a TV show every week.

That was appointment, fucking television. And I didn't have DVR or nothing. So I just, missed a lot of shit back then. But I was making it a point to watch Expanning Down because how funny it was, right? And so I'm sitting there watching... Best comedy pilot of all time.

Probably with Thompson. And there's a scene where Kenny is in the gymnasium talking to these kids. And he goes... And I really do think about this a lot because I feel like this is a wild choice creatively in making a show. When he's about to bench press in front of him? Yeah, I think it is that same. And Ricky Bobby as a kid is there?

He's like, but I don't remember, because there was a lot of scenes with him in the gym doing gym shit because that's where he got the job at. But in one of them he goes, he says, he's like, you know, and he's like stumbling through it. So it sounds like he's just like making shit. And he goes, you know, a lot of people don't realize Abraham Lincoln was a champion wrestler in high school.

Yeah, a lot of, a lot of people don't know that. Anyway, we're going to be, uh, and then like, and I laughed so hard at that because it seemed like such an he was just making it up thing. Yeah. Like such an in character thing for Kenny Powers. Just sort of bullshit his way through. Yeah. No. And they never address it in the show or anything.

Yeah. And so I didn't find out until years later that that's literally true. That's legit true. That is a fun fact about Abraham Lincoln. Yeah. And like, it's just. wild to me that they did that without clarifying like or context or nothing that it played so well that yeah you i never questioned it for a second in the moment that it was anything other than just

a kiddie power saying some stupid shit yeah right yeah but it wasn't and they didn't like make that clear on purpose which made it even i don't know i've just i thought about that line a lot over the years because I just remember, I don't remember how I found out, but when I found out way down the road that that was literally accurate historically and was true, it fucking blew my mind. You know what? This is funny to come back full circle, but like we were talking about how like he would constantly just go on these walks without secret service and always thought he was fine. It makes sense. He was a bad motherfucker. You know what I mean? He did. He did think he was fine. He was huge. He was huge. He was like, if he was like, unless they've got a gun, this ain't fucking going down the way they

think it's going to go down, you know? But yeah, he was, he was fucking huge, which honestly, like, you don't see a lot of 6-6 wrestlers or whatever the fuck he was. Like, I don't know that he was actually 6-6. He was like, he, maybe, how fucking tall was he? He was definitely.

People were not tall back then. No, they weren't. But I think he would, I mean, he would, he though, I think was like at least 6-3, 6-3 to 6-5 or something like that. Which that, like, 6-3 was the 6-6 back then. Yeah, that was huge back then. Yeah, let's fucking see here. Well, why would they?

God damn it. Abe Lincoln. High. Because, yeah, like, people, I remember when I went to see, 6'4, that's a fucking huge motherfucker back then. I remember when I went to, when I went to Washington, D.C., the first time as a kid,

they, you know, like, we went to Ford's Theater, and then they took us to, like, where he died and shit, and they showed us the bed that he died on. And it stuck out to me at the time as well. They, he, that I remember, they said, he had to, they had to lay him horizontally on the bed because he wouldn't fit. And it was a, that was a normal bed for people back then.

But like, they had to like position him weird because it's like legs and head kept fucking dangling off of it. We mean like diagonally? Yeah, diagonally. What'd I say? Okay. Horizontal. Oh, my bad.

I meant diagonal. Yeah, right. I meant diagonally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, but anyways, yeah, no, he was a huge motherfucker. But yeah, he's a bad mother four fucking champion wrestler. he probably just like, yeah, you know, nobody's gonna fucking take me. He would probably just wish him motherfuckers would. I believe that Abraham Lincoln, dude, I would say he was the first instance

in America of wishing a motherfucker would. Like the first famous example of like, that's going to the Ford's Theater without. Oh, no, dude, Andrew Jackson pretty famously wished motherfuckers would as well. That's 100% true. He was a pretty wish motherfucker would type of dude, Andrew Jackson would.

He had like 20 attempts on his life. that didn't work, obviously. No, I know. He stayed getting shot, and he'd just, like, walk it off and then shoot them back. Yeah. Man, what a fucking insane time. I know. I cut, like, so hell, I'll take an opportunity to throw out there for the listeners.

If you want to holler me on Patreon, you should do so, patreon.com slash trade Crowder. One of the things I do on there is I review politicians. I've only done this once for Andrew Jackson, but I will do more of it. and that's it like go I'll go back in the past in review one and I'm interviewed Andrew Jackson once the idea being like I know we think everything is crazy now

and I'm not saying it's not it is it is and it don't hit don't get me wrong but listen to some of this shit about this dude who was the president and like and it's fucking wild dude he had I didn't know until I did that that Andrew Jackson had a bunch of his supporters take over the White House.

Yes, there was a coup. They, like, wrecked the White House in support of Andrew Jackson and all kinds of wild-ass shit about him. And, yeah. Was that during his first president? Was that during his first term or a second? I think it was the first one, like, at the beginning, kind of. Yeah, dude, like, it really, like, dude, first off, what we were just talking about, the sheer thought of a president going on a walk by themselves is also one of the craziest things you can really think of.

Yeah. Like, based on, like, how it is for presidents, it's not like, they're not allowed to drive cars the entire four to eight years that they're in office. Like, but back then, and also, the White House was just unlocked and people would just, like, roll up. You know, they just walk in and be like, hey, I've got a grievance. And they'll be like, all right, let's hear his grievance and eat this wheel of cheese, you know, like it was a fuck. fucking, that was just bananas. But, so yeah, go to patreon.com slash tradecratter. And also, I haven't got to old hickory yet, but over at, now that ain't it.

I'm doing the wrong goddamn thing. That ain't it either. That's it. Corey, over at Corey writes for you.com, which is my newsletter, letter, newsletter, my newsletter slash blog, I'm doing a, um, a series called this week in Southern history where I take an event that happened this week in Southern history. And I talk about it.

and Andrew Jackson hasn't come up yet, but because of the era in which he lived and him being from Tennessee and all, he will, and I'm waiting for the right time because I'm pretty pumped to write about that fucking lunatic. So if you like stories like that, also there's journals and there's podcasts and stuff,

go to CoreyRightsforyou.com and subscribe. I would really, really appreciate that. Yeah, all right. Well, that will do it. That will do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah.

you all for listening to the well-read show we'd love to stick around longer but we got to go tune in next week if you got nothing to do thank you god bless you good night i am steve you how about that that's it